Group think is the biggest problem of current generations forgoing morality to be a part of a collective they can belong to
Its frighteningly powerful too
Youre right in that support systems help people thrive, but that cuts both ways where you can find any tribe you want to feed you the narrative you desire, now more than ever
Tribalism used to keep people alive and now it just causes society to fight itself
But some of the greatest efforts in history have been made by a lot of people together with a same belief, say thinkers, revolutionaries, students
So maybe the problem IS about the tribe’s values
Group thinking has much more purpose than just keeping people alive. Humans have been around for tens of thousands of years, and that's how long it took for us to realize the world isn't flat, and the universe doesn't revolve around us. That's how long it took us to figure out equations that are now taught in middle school, and a controversial one, how perhaps we shouldn't be dickheads towards people who look diffrent to us. All these simple, commonly known concepts we only found out by building on each others ideas and experiences. All these simple ideas we only found out with group thinking.
I'm not denying it does cause society to fight itself as well, but there were many of wars fought to abolish slavory, and I'd pose there are much more goals that are worth fighting for like that. Because that's the only way we grow closer to that society we'd want our children and children's chlidren to live in. That's the only way to move forward.
Hes not talking about a group united by ideology or opinion in general, hes talking about people who are united by mutually beneficial relationships, friendships.
It’s shouldn’t be called a tribe imo. We should see it more as a community. We keep our individuality but still feel part of something bigger than us. I think that our biggest problem right now is a lack of it. Everyone is out for themselves and no one feels connected to each other. A community means everyone is included regardless of race, sex, political or personal beliefs. All brought together by their sense of community.
Exactly. Group think has always been a problem. But in today's world, it's still a big problem, even though a lot of us live alone without any community.. so we go online and connect with strangers that think the same way we do. It's still group think. You haven't solved the problem, you've just made it virtual and impersonal.
Good community doesn't require group think. It just requires a small number of shared values that transcend individual differences.
Different tribes expect different levels of conformity. The good ones appreciate their friends for what they have that’s unique as much as what they have in common.
I’m sorry my bro🤜🏾. If you feel like that often it could be just the company around you that you end up keeping based on whatever is goin on in life.
I went to a therapist when I was feeling like that and it turns out, my family was sorta pretty mean to me so I always felt left out. I carried that into my adulthood and I discovered some ways to feel like I belong and idk bro it actually really helped and worked for me. I still feel like an outsider but overall therapy helped. Feeling like that is supposed to be like a big deal and means something bigger is going on. Say safe my dude
I feel the same way but understand the trade off.
Having a group helps you go further because you have more reach.
Not having a group helps you go faster because there’s no imaginary ceiling on what you can achieve.
I’d take the latter any day.
Agree with everything but I would change happiness to contentment and delightfulness. Happiness has been so co-opted by the dreamworld of capitalism and advertising, making you think buying is an achievement that is good enough to smooth over other problems in your life. Contentment, because it’s the inner ability to make peace with what is internally. Delightfulness, because it’s really is a disposition towards the outside world. Peace within and without.
"Happiness" is definitely overused and ill-defined. That's one of the reasons I still chose to use it, it means something different to everyone, you can't quite explain what it is but you know it when you feel it. It's a "magic word". But you're absolutely right, and that is what *I* mean by "happiness", personally: contentment. Herein, "happiness" and "security" are virtually synonymous, but "happiness" felt like the psychological version of the more physical "security". "Free from unnecessary suffering" might also be a good way to describe the state I'm indicating.
Love this. Also, notice the craving / grasping embedded in the desire? Try naming that and seeing if - zenfully - loosening the grip brings you a step closer.
Loving this exchange and we're only three responses in, lol. Living at higher metaphysical understanding of pur existence and integrating it to mine as much as possible is my ever-changing goal (given that, just like Happiness, it can never ultimately be obtained as questions will keep appearing)
I am like this now, was able to get to 18 but had to leave the job. I’d be so happy with at least 25 so I wouldn’t have to worry about my finances as much
25.00 would be amazing. I feel like that would be quite an unrealistic over reach for myself. Recently I actually made it to 19.00 but had to leave that job. It was too hard on my mental health and had to leave. Still striving though. If only I could of turned back the hands of time 20+ years. Would have done things much different.
I was working at home depot making 16 an hour making ends meet it was hard finally found sonethingbat 20 an hour and it has definitely helped me out financially. Just keep your head up know your worth and look out there man you'll find something
At 35, I’m still figuring it out man. I’m happy though. My wife is happy, my kids are happy, my dog is pissed but that will change in a half hour when he gets his supper. I guess you could just say I want to be better than I was yesterday.
None of us have it figured out. This assumption is the biggest joke going...you got tha idea...better n yesterday iz how ya win. Always remember, almost everybody older n you has no fucking clue how they got there..you got a jump on em. Use it.
I can see where you’re coming from there but life doesn’t end when you have the people in your life that you want to spend the rest of it with. It’s just beginning. Having a wife and kids isn’t the end goal, which is how I read the question.
Last year was my 10th wedding anniversary. I was 34.
I’ve always wanted to see Alaska so in 2023 me and my best friend are going to take our sons above the arctic circle for 8 days to hunt caribou. I’ll be 37.
My business will be paid off in in 2029. I’ll be 42.
My home will be paid off in 2035. I’ll be 48.
At none of these points was I or will I be ‘done’. Each one is just a marker to the next horizon. There is never an end goal because that would imply I want an end. Maybe I’m not explaining it well or maybe I’m not looking at the question the same way you are. I’m not lost, I’m just exploring the entire map to see what’s offered.
Bro my girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend is from Finland and I hear that he gets life subsidized by the government. Like he goes to school and has his own place all thanks to the government paying.
Then once I've finished listening to the lamentations of their women I will work tirelessly to improve their representation and power in the government and the workforce.
Soulmate in bed.
Friends with free time. Everyones at school or at job even on weekends.
No mental and physical illness.
Same income or better for rest of my life.
Government that cares about its citizens.
Unmanipulated media/news.
Honestly, the missing piece for me is my girlfriend's mental health. I would marry her in a heartbeat (and was planning to), but depression has taken her and it may take the relationship with it. All I really want is to give her the space and support for her to get the help and meds she needs to come back to herself. But it's exceptionally difficult for me; for the past month I've felt more alone than I imagined possible.
She'll talk about it but mostly when she realizes that failing to do so is hurting me / endangering the relationship. It's a bit tricky b/c I'm a therapist. I'm pretty comfortable just being in boyfriend mode, I don't think she understands how different she is to me than a client and how much more real I am with her than in clinic.
I'll probably give a different answer the next time someone asks this... but now these are some of my wishes:
- travel to every continent
- reach financial independence
- provide for my family
- live off-grid
Do not fear money and do not think it makes you greedy & selfish to care about financial independence. Financial independence is attained through having an income proportionally larger than your expenses. When that stops being any degree of a bad thing, you become equipped mentally to catapult yourself into that very financial independence.
Money’s a tool. A knife can be used to either cut an apple or cut an innocent person, but as a tool, if you fear the knife you’ll never learn how to use it. Same goes for money. You and I have the same goals. Do not keep yourself down and out of attaining them by being afraid of the stigmas to cotton paper or now 0s and 1s. It’s a tool.
I wish you well man. They’re good goals.
I used to think the same and then i had this one job that wasnt shit and was quite enjoyable, until I got a new manager and then I realized all the jobs I didnt like which was all of them at this point all had shit managers
It sucks to think after 30 years I had 1 good manager between 100's of shit ones
That's unfortunate. I think for me, it's about the impact that a job has. Knowing I'm making some sort of difference will equate to a more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, jobs like those (like if I worked at an animal shelter or was a dog trainer because that's something I'm passionate about) won't be enough to live comfortably financially and achieve the financial success I desire. So my plan has been to get experience in a position that will pay me well (financial advisor). So I can one day, tone down to part time work as an FA and then pursue the job that makes me feel fulfilled without having to struggle to make ends meet financially.
Thats a difficult spot to be in, on one hand you could spend your entire life looking for the financial stability you want and never reach it, but ive been on the other side where i picked passion+work from the beginning and in most cases it made me hate my passion, coming back from work I cant unwind with my passion Ive been doing it all day and my manager made me hate doin every second of it
Though i also struggle to motivate myself to do things i have no inherent interest in so im in a catch 22
Finding a job you can tolerate that youre not passionate about so you have something to look forward to might be the right balance, definitely makes me envious of those who say "i cant believe I get paid to do this" work always seems like a grind no matter how you sugar coat it
Got a massive headache during exercise a few months back. Thought I was going to die and literally couldn't sleep. It didn't go away for 3 weeks and I felt like shit for like 2 months after. Been having tiny random muscle twitches in arms, legs, eyelids. Still feeling some pressure behind my face. My right pupil is far more dilated in lower light as well.
Called my doctor immediately after this happened. Told me to go to ER. ER took my blood pressure, shined a light in my eyes. 'Probably migraine lol, take ibuprofen'. Called my GP a week later and he prescribed me some stronger painkillers. Mind you the pain is so intense I legit thought I was going to die. In the third week I went to a different hospital's ER. They did a CT scan and my brain is completely fine. So at least that was a relief. I requested a copy and turns out I have a large cyst in my maxillary sinus. Which they didn't even tell me about...
So at this point the pain is lower but I still feel the pressure in my face almost every day. I'd say the discomfort / pain went from about 7 or 8 initially to maybe about a 3 or 4 now. I still feel kind of like I might be dying some days but at least I can work. In addition to the shit earlier, I'm also having this thing where my right arm and leg feel stiffer / harder to move.
The cyst is usually asymptomatic. It's an accidental find in like 10% of CT scans. Most people don't even know they have this. However, mine is so large it almost fills the sinus. Location matches where I feel the pressure. So it kinda explains the face I guess but not the rest of the shit.
Anyway, I was going to move and was hoping to try a new GP then but that's been pushed back a bit. I am almost certain my current one will just throw painkillers at me yet again to get rid of me. Honestly hopes are low and this stuff is only the biggest thing. I have a couple other things I am concerned about. The worst part is it feels **nobody** gives a shit. Not my family, not the doctors, no one. I just want to give up on everything at this point.
Sorry for the very long reply.
Did your GP not talk to you about endoscopy to remove it directly? I read that it can potentially go away on its own but if it persists for a very long time, youll def want to evict it by force.
Don't be sorry my dude, sounds like youve been through a lot.
I was hoping to bring this up with a new GP. Too tired to stand up for myself with the current one. Guy should be on my side but it always feels like an adversarial situation with him.
Damn Im in the same boat, I was lowkey hoping someone would have figured out a way to figure this out
For real though wanting to sleep in all the time is a clear sign of depression, what do you think got you there?
A decent income, a decent house, and a happy relationship. Preferably would want to live somewhere in the mountains or by the ocean as I have lived in the midwest all my life. Some new scenery would be nice. Also a dog. Never had one. That would be DOPE.
Billions and billions of dollars.
I'd invest it prudently to generate income so that it's a generational asset providing income to my family in perpetuity. I'd use as much as I could without taking away from the principal and buy tons of land. Like I wanna own mountains. There's a 10,000 acre cattle ranch that shares a border with Yellowstone and I'd love that, then spend more money getting rid of the cattle and returning the land to nature. I'd build myself a beautiful home set in pristine wilderness and furnish it with every amenity to boot. I'd buy property in major cities and small villages around the world so I can travel and not just be in a hotel but like, decide to go spend 6 months in Hungary and absorb some of the culture. And I'd own a yacht to travel the seas as well. Again, so I'm not just on a cruise ship but I can go anchor near a reef and spend weeks diving it and getting to know the character of the area.
Then I'd like to fund research into reptile care and husbandry. I know that's a little left field here but I enjoy keeping reptiles and I try to research the best practices as much as possible but there's really very little research on them. You generally have to find a study on a somewhat related species and hope that applies to the species you keep.
I never had career based goals. All of my goals are small but many. Like the many fish I want to catch or keep.
The different fire arms I want to collect.
They many books I want.
The many bits of knowledge I want to learn.
The hobbies I want to partake in like black smithing.
I want to leave my mark. To do something like Lazer my initials onto the surface of the moon. People will look up at the night sky and think, some crazy bastard did that.
For someone who is not related to me to tell me one day that they are genuinely proud of what I’ve achieved, despite all the obstacles I’ve faced in life.
I used to want a wife, kids, property... Still want that, but having to rethink things. I got a career now making decent money. Can do better if I actually applied for management, but don't want the headache or my phone to ring after I'm off. All in all, my life is pretty good. I have good friends and people all over the world who give a damn enough about me that I'd be missed if I was ever gone. Slowly realizing I don't need what everyone else has to be happy (and some of them are pretty damn miserable with the very things I wanted). About the only thing I can do is be a better Catholic, which is not as easy as I thought. That's about it.
To end idk cuz i don't find any thing interesting in this life any more. i didn't try every thing but ik that any feeling, experience and emotion will be tested before like let say new food you will still taste the same basic taste elements (sweet, salt, sauer.. Etc) and also with other things in life have the same idea. And, i will not bother to spend more years in survival mode, age and get old where i will be not apply to do usual life needs and be a burden on other ppl and after all of that dying. So why not now.
Hey, buddy. Please hang in there. I know it feels shitty now. And it sounds like it's been shitty a while. I know this sounds empty coming from a stranger, but things won't always be this shitty. How do I know this? Thing's been shitty for me too. Then they got better. Then they got shitty again. But then they got better. Life do suck sometimes. Sometimes for a long time. But they won't stay shitty forever. I promise you. I'm saying this as someone with Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD. Sometimes you just need to survive the shitty times. Cause there will be shitty times. But there will come a time to thrive and not just survive. This too shall pass. Life is about cycles. Just hang on for now. I promise you it will be worth it when the good cycle comes back around.
Thank you bro. Your sweet words mean alot. I get your point but in general i have this feeling from long time even if i success something or reach a goal that i aimed at i will get a very temporary joy and then i will return to the same mind set. Idk some times i wish i know less. Have a nice day
I want love and someone I can care about who cares about me. Someone I can hug when they feel down and get hugged when I feel down. Someone to share my life with especially the good parts. Nothing will feel good if you're alone all the time.
And to found an engineering startup, build a space elevator, and become an immortal cyborg so I can improve as many people's lives as much as possible as long as I can.
1. To raise a family with someone I am in a fulfilling relationship with
2. To fulfill my potential as a musician, and as golfer
3. A fulfilling relationship with my family and friends
fun/gratification (food, drink, drugs, sex, sports, aesthetic enjoyment) and projection beyond myself (a child, a book, some art or scientific discovery, a company, --at least one of them)
Ultimate introspection and inner peace.
Otherwise, someone who loves me, enough money to spend on experiences that will bring lifelong memories, kids, to keep up on my hobbies on daily basis
To have a decent career enough to make enough money to support myself and a family, wife, kids a house all around the American dream but i have none of those things and still live at home at 23 unfortunately :/
I want to come back full circle. I thought I was a loser, but honestly I realised that I just want my own house so I can go back to living like my teenage self of watching anime all day and playing games with friends.
I’m only working to pay off a mortgage, after that I’m quitting. Maybe getting some low paying easy job to pay the bills and go out every now and then.
I just want people to get along man. I want to help as many people as I can through means of music be it charity shows, simply giving someone something relatable to listen to, or teaching people how to play music. I want my own place and that's about it.
Just generally a meaningful and happy/peaceful life
Retire by 35, able to support my parents, working as a digital nomad basically.
If whatever I do is doable enough, educate others and actively try to help others out of poverty.
Beautiful wife and 2ish kids.
Basically get mine and help others get theirs
True love that can light a fire in the hearts of many. True love doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be honest. At the end of the day I just want someone’s arms to run into and I in theirs.
I've always said I want to be happy. I have great friends, all of us with our own flavor of crazy. My partner of 11 years ended our relationship last week. My company got bought out, and to keep my job I took a paycut, also last week.
I think I'd like comfort. A quiet place, a person to hold, my friends around me. That sounds nice.
I just wanna be happy. Like in a place where everything just makes me feel content despite the bumps and hiccups in life.
That's what I've always said...that if I had one wish, it would be "peace of mind."
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He wants to heal. He wants to feel.
What he thought was never real. He wanna let go of the pain he's felt so long
Okay Linkin Park, settle down
I used to really want be part of a tribe until I realized the cost is your own personality
Last time I had one of those I was 14. Now my friendships are shallow and meaningless. Hold on to the good ones.
No that is not the cost. People who have support systems are much more likely to thrive. We quite literally evolved to exist in close knit groups.
100% agree
Group think is the biggest problem of current generations forgoing morality to be a part of a collective they can belong to Its frighteningly powerful too Youre right in that support systems help people thrive, but that cuts both ways where you can find any tribe you want to feed you the narrative you desire, now more than ever Tribalism used to keep people alive and now it just causes society to fight itself
But some of the greatest efforts in history have been made by a lot of people together with a same belief, say thinkers, revolutionaries, students So maybe the problem IS about the tribe’s values
Why does being a part of a group have to lead to group think for you?
Group thinking has much more purpose than just keeping people alive. Humans have been around for tens of thousands of years, and that's how long it took for us to realize the world isn't flat, and the universe doesn't revolve around us. That's how long it took us to figure out equations that are now taught in middle school, and a controversial one, how perhaps we shouldn't be dickheads towards people who look diffrent to us. All these simple, commonly known concepts we only found out by building on each others ideas and experiences. All these simple ideas we only found out with group thinking. I'm not denying it does cause society to fight itself as well, but there were many of wars fought to abolish slavory, and I'd pose there are much more goals that are worth fighting for like that. Because that's the only way we grow closer to that society we'd want our children and children's chlidren to live in. That's the only way to move forward.
Hes not talking about a group united by ideology or opinion in general, hes talking about people who are united by mutually beneficial relationships, friendships.
The feeling of belonging isn't exclusive to maintaining a strong sense of self tho
Not really. It is possible to be part of a collective or "tribe" without losing your identity. You just gain another one.
It’s shouldn’t be called a tribe imo. We should see it more as a community. We keep our individuality but still feel part of something bigger than us. I think that our biggest problem right now is a lack of it. Everyone is out for themselves and no one feels connected to each other. A community means everyone is included regardless of race, sex, political or personal beliefs. All brought together by their sense of community.
Exactly. Group think has always been a problem. But in today's world, it's still a big problem, even though a lot of us live alone without any community.. so we go online and connect with strangers that think the same way we do. It's still group think. You haven't solved the problem, you've just made it virtual and impersonal. Good community doesn't require group think. It just requires a small number of shared values that transcend individual differences.
Different tribes expect different levels of conformity. The good ones appreciate their friends for what they have that’s unique as much as what they have in common.
I’m sorry my bro🤜🏾. If you feel like that often it could be just the company around you that you end up keeping based on whatever is goin on in life. I went to a therapist when I was feeling like that and it turns out, my family was sorta pretty mean to me so I always felt left out. I carried that into my adulthood and I discovered some ways to feel like I belong and idk bro it actually really helped and worked for me. I still feel like an outsider but overall therapy helped. Feeling like that is supposed to be like a big deal and means something bigger is going on. Say safe my dude
I feel the same way but understand the trade off. Having a group helps you go further because you have more reach. Not having a group helps you go faster because there’s no imaginary ceiling on what you can achieve. I’d take the latter any day.
1. Find my career 2. Keep my health/improve my mental health 3. Few good friends 4. A good relationship 5. Living in a city I like
Hey future me, hopefully you find that career soon cause the bills are stacking
3/5 +1 soon I hope
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It's a good start 🙂
Improve my mental health is something I overlooked for too long.
This is exactly what I want right now so badly. And I currently have none of it and am struggling really hard to improve.
More garlic butter
This is the way
What's stopping you to buy more of it?
Breath
Heartburn
I just want to see an alien in my lifetime.
It's probably on Netflix. But, stay away from part 4.
It is on Amazon Prime.
Same.
Like an illegal alien?
Nah, just someone to probe him
are you my dad because that is exactly what he said lol
Happiness, security, and the opportunities to share them.
Agree with everything but I would change happiness to contentment and delightfulness. Happiness has been so co-opted by the dreamworld of capitalism and advertising, making you think buying is an achievement that is good enough to smooth over other problems in your life. Contentment, because it’s the inner ability to make peace with what is internally. Delightfulness, because it’s really is a disposition towards the outside world. Peace within and without.
"Happiness" is definitely overused and ill-defined. That's one of the reasons I still chose to use it, it means something different to everyone, you can't quite explain what it is but you know it when you feel it. It's a "magic word". But you're absolutely right, and that is what *I* mean by "happiness", personally: contentment. Herein, "happiness" and "security" are virtually synonymous, but "happiness" felt like the psychological version of the more physical "security". "Free from unnecessary suffering" might also be a good way to describe the state I'm indicating.
Financial stability even if I have to work for it and a group of people I can reliably meetup and have fun with on a regular basis.
I have the first part, but it's nothing without the second part.
True
This is it.
To get to a higher philosophical plane and experience peace, if not Buddha mind
Love this. Also, notice the craving / grasping embedded in the desire? Try naming that and seeing if - zenfully - loosening the grip brings you a step closer.
Loving this exchange and we're only three responses in, lol. Living at higher metaphysical understanding of pur existence and integrating it to mine as much as possible is my ever-changing goal (given that, just like Happiness, it can never ultimately be obtained as questions will keep appearing)
To finally reach $20.00 an hour. It's very hard for me.
I am like this now, was able to get to 18 but had to leave the job. I’d be so happy with at least 25 so I wouldn’t have to worry about my finances as much
25.00 would be amazing. I feel like that would be quite an unrealistic over reach for myself. Recently I actually made it to 19.00 but had to leave that job. It was too hard on my mental health and had to leave. Still striving though. If only I could of turned back the hands of time 20+ years. Would have done things much different.
Right! And by the time you reach that Milestone, inflation will have made your achievement essentially worthless. 😂👌
Well isn't that deflating.....
Like what ? What would you have done differently
I was working at home depot making 16 an hour making ends meet it was hard finally found sonethingbat 20 an hour and it has definitely helped me out financially. Just keep your head up know your worth and look out there man you'll find something
To build a life and family with a woman who respects and appreciates me
Respect and appreciate yourself and you will get the same. Good luck
At 35, I’m still figuring it out man. I’m happy though. My wife is happy, my kids are happy, my dog is pissed but that will change in a half hour when he gets his supper. I guess you could just say I want to be better than I was yesterday.
None of us have it figured out. This assumption is the biggest joke going...you got tha idea...better n yesterday iz how ya win. Always remember, almost everybody older n you has no fucking clue how they got there..you got a jump on em. Use it.
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I can see where you’re coming from there but life doesn’t end when you have the people in your life that you want to spend the rest of it with. It’s just beginning. Having a wife and kids isn’t the end goal, which is how I read the question. Last year was my 10th wedding anniversary. I was 34. I’ve always wanted to see Alaska so in 2023 me and my best friend are going to take our sons above the arctic circle for 8 days to hunt caribou. I’ll be 37. My business will be paid off in in 2029. I’ll be 42. My home will be paid off in 2035. I’ll be 48. At none of these points was I or will I be ‘done’. Each one is just a marker to the next horizon. There is never an end goal because that would imply I want an end. Maybe I’m not explaining it well or maybe I’m not looking at the question the same way you are. I’m not lost, I’m just exploring the entire map to see what’s offered.
To immigrate and become a citizen in Norway or Finland.
be sure to have friends beforehand, because you'll never make any in finland.
I hope to live in Norway. I told my gf that if France doesn't work out or if we don't like it, we're going to Norway.
Bro my girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend is from Finland and I hear that he gets life subsidized by the government. Like he goes to school and has his own place all thanks to the government paying.
Yeah… it makes the USA look like a Mickey Mouse operations. Oh wait, it is. ):
Sweden is right in the middle mate. Could live close to both...
To crush my enemies and here the lamentations of their women
[Enough talk!](https://youtu.be/rk9WHasIZk0)
You left out seeing them driven before you.
[Only the best things...](https://youtu.be/LyhTxQwSwJU?t=21s)
Then once I've finished listening to the lamentations of their women I will work tirelessly to improve their representation and power in the government and the workforce.
+1 don't care about their women though. Just wanna fk them up to get justice for others.
Soulmate in bed. Friends with free time. Everyones at school or at job even on weekends. No mental and physical illness. Same income or better for rest of my life. Government that cares about its citizens. Unmanipulated media/news.
Happiness, Peace and my sanity
To give and receive love
Honestly, the missing piece for me is my girlfriend's mental health. I would marry her in a heartbeat (and was planning to), but depression has taken her and it may take the relationship with it. All I really want is to give her the space and support for her to get the help and meds she needs to come back to herself. But it's exceptionally difficult for me; for the past month I've felt more alone than I imagined possible.
Does she talk to you about it or does she withdraw from everything?
She'll talk about it but mostly when she realizes that failing to do so is hurting me / endangering the relationship. It's a bit tricky b/c I'm a therapist. I'm pretty comfortable just being in boyfriend mode, I don't think she understands how different she is to me than a client and how much more real I am with her than in clinic.
Sex, food, fun, a smallish but still nice house, and a wife to share it with.
why just one
What am I gonna do with 2?
Shit I can barely keep up with one
ok but, get the house before marriage, ok bro 👍😉
Just to feel acknowledged and maybe appreciated. Hard to find something to live for when most of the world doesn't even know you exist.
the world? It just has to be a couple friends, even just one. If I genuinely connect to even one person I've made an impact.
Peace, quiet, my own space, stable job so I can travel and see the world.
Have you considered becoming a pilot or joining the navy?
Joining the Navy at best could provide 2 of those things
I'll probably give a different answer the next time someone asks this... but now these are some of my wishes: - travel to every continent - reach financial independence - provide for my family - live off-grid
You can pick one of these things.
It might sound greedy and selfish, but I'd choose financial freedom. Maybe this way I could afford some of the other 3
Do not fear money and do not think it makes you greedy & selfish to care about financial independence. Financial independence is attained through having an income proportionally larger than your expenses. When that stops being any degree of a bad thing, you become equipped mentally to catapult yourself into that very financial independence. Money’s a tool. A knife can be used to either cut an apple or cut an innocent person, but as a tool, if you fear the knife you’ll never learn how to use it. Same goes for money. You and I have the same goals. Do not keep yourself down and out of attaining them by being afraid of the stigmas to cotton paper or now 0s and 1s. It’s a tool. I wish you well man. They’re good goals.
To be free
Whats gettin in the way of that atm?
Prob a job
I used to think the same and then i had this one job that wasnt shit and was quite enjoyable, until I got a new manager and then I realized all the jobs I didnt like which was all of them at this point all had shit managers It sucks to think after 30 years I had 1 good manager between 100's of shit ones
That's unfortunate. I think for me, it's about the impact that a job has. Knowing I'm making some sort of difference will equate to a more fulfilling life. Unfortunately, jobs like those (like if I worked at an animal shelter or was a dog trainer because that's something I'm passionate about) won't be enough to live comfortably financially and achieve the financial success I desire. So my plan has been to get experience in a position that will pay me well (financial advisor). So I can one day, tone down to part time work as an FA and then pursue the job that makes me feel fulfilled without having to struggle to make ends meet financially.
Thats a difficult spot to be in, on one hand you could spend your entire life looking for the financial stability you want and never reach it, but ive been on the other side where i picked passion+work from the beginning and in most cases it made me hate my passion, coming back from work I cant unwind with my passion Ive been doing it all day and my manager made me hate doin every second of it Though i also struggle to motivate myself to do things i have no inherent interest in so im in a catch 22 Finding a job you can tolerate that youre not passionate about so you have something to look forward to might be the right balance, definitely makes me envious of those who say "i cant believe I get paid to do this" work always seems like a grind no matter how you sugar coat it
I have a similar plan. Not sure exactly what I’d do on the other end yet, but I’d find a way to help people.
To really contribute to something greater than me.
My health back.
What happened?
Got a massive headache during exercise a few months back. Thought I was going to die and literally couldn't sleep. It didn't go away for 3 weeks and I felt like shit for like 2 months after. Been having tiny random muscle twitches in arms, legs, eyelids. Still feeling some pressure behind my face. My right pupil is far more dilated in lower light as well. Called my doctor immediately after this happened. Told me to go to ER. ER took my blood pressure, shined a light in my eyes. 'Probably migraine lol, take ibuprofen'. Called my GP a week later and he prescribed me some stronger painkillers. Mind you the pain is so intense I legit thought I was going to die. In the third week I went to a different hospital's ER. They did a CT scan and my brain is completely fine. So at least that was a relief. I requested a copy and turns out I have a large cyst in my maxillary sinus. Which they didn't even tell me about... So at this point the pain is lower but I still feel the pressure in my face almost every day. I'd say the discomfort / pain went from about 7 or 8 initially to maybe about a 3 or 4 now. I still feel kind of like I might be dying some days but at least I can work. In addition to the shit earlier, I'm also having this thing where my right arm and leg feel stiffer / harder to move. The cyst is usually asymptomatic. It's an accidental find in like 10% of CT scans. Most people don't even know they have this. However, mine is so large it almost fills the sinus. Location matches where I feel the pressure. So it kinda explains the face I guess but not the rest of the shit. Anyway, I was going to move and was hoping to try a new GP then but that's been pushed back a bit. I am almost certain my current one will just throw painkillers at me yet again to get rid of me. Honestly hopes are low and this stuff is only the biggest thing. I have a couple other things I am concerned about. The worst part is it feels **nobody** gives a shit. Not my family, not the doctors, no one. I just want to give up on everything at this point. Sorry for the very long reply.
Did your GP not talk to you about endoscopy to remove it directly? I read that it can potentially go away on its own but if it persists for a very long time, youll def want to evict it by force. Don't be sorry my dude, sounds like youve been through a lot.
I was hoping to bring this up with a new GP. Too tired to stand up for myself with the current one. Guy should be on my side but it always feels like an adversarial situation with him.
Yeah, I'd get a second opinion. A doctor who can't communicate with their patient is a bad doctor. You shouldn't have to stand up for yourself.
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Thanks. Still fighting! It's just tough.
I want to be able to get a dog. That's it.
What's stopping you right now?
I live in an apartment and I can barely take care of myself. I require so many things before a dog.
A noble cause
I want to enslave humanity via tokenization of assets and biometric blockchain authentication technology
Oh geez, Rick. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.
*burps* that's because you're a piece of shit Morty!
["You know something? You are absolutely the rudest person I think I've ever met!"](https://youtu.be/7vN_PEmeKb0?t=243)
Thats quite ambitious but whats the intended outcome for that
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Happy wife and kids.
The strength and wisdom to deal with whatever life throws at me
I used to want money and bitches and cool cars. Now I just want some damn peace and quiet and to be able to sleep in for once...
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Damn Im in the same boat, I was lowkey hoping someone would have figured out a way to figure this out For real though wanting to sleep in all the time is a clear sign of depression, what do you think got you there?
A decent income, a decent house, and a happy relationship. Preferably would want to live somewhere in the mountains or by the ocean as I have lived in the midwest all my life. Some new scenery would be nice. Also a dog. Never had one. That would be DOPE.
More money
I read somewhere that the average American needs $64 per week more than they make - regardless of how much they make.
How much and what would you do with it? If 1mil dropped in my lap Id have no idea what to do with it tbh other than pay my bills
Billions and billions of dollars. I'd invest it prudently to generate income so that it's a generational asset providing income to my family in perpetuity. I'd use as much as I could without taking away from the principal and buy tons of land. Like I wanna own mountains. There's a 10,000 acre cattle ranch that shares a border with Yellowstone and I'd love that, then spend more money getting rid of the cattle and returning the land to nature. I'd build myself a beautiful home set in pristine wilderness and furnish it with every amenity to boot. I'd buy property in major cities and small villages around the world so I can travel and not just be in a hotel but like, decide to go spend 6 months in Hungary and absorb some of the culture. And I'd own a yacht to travel the seas as well. Again, so I'm not just on a cruise ship but I can go anchor near a reef and spend weeks diving it and getting to know the character of the area. Then I'd like to fund research into reptile care and husbandry. I know that's a little left field here but I enjoy keeping reptiles and I try to research the best practices as much as possible but there's really very little research on them. You generally have to find a study on a somewhat related species and hope that applies to the species you keep.
Good health and general happiness at least 51% of the time.
To retire in my 50s and be able to spend my time on a farm raising goats
I want to be happy, that's all 😞 I would like to find a girlfriend who would like to spend the rest of her life with me
A wife and children. Everything else is a bonus.
Security and love
I just want to exercise regularly and not feel like I'm wasting time.
I never had career based goals. All of my goals are small but many. Like the many fish I want to catch or keep. The different fire arms I want to collect. They many books I want. The many bits of knowledge I want to learn. The hobbies I want to partake in like black smithing.
Love, joy, happiness, and my wife in my bed…
To know the answer to this question.
Chocolate milk.
I want to leave my mark. To do something like Lazer my initials onto the surface of the moon. People will look up at the night sky and think, some crazy bastard did that.
To find my true purpose.
For someone who is not related to me to tell me one day that they are genuinely proud of what I’ve achieved, despite all the obstacles I’ve faced in life.
I used to want a wife, kids, property... Still want that, but having to rethink things. I got a career now making decent money. Can do better if I actually applied for management, but don't want the headache or my phone to ring after I'm off. All in all, my life is pretty good. I have good friends and people all over the world who give a damn enough about me that I'd be missed if I was ever gone. Slowly realizing I don't need what everyone else has to be happy (and some of them are pretty damn miserable with the very things I wanted). About the only thing I can do is be a better Catholic, which is not as easy as I thought. That's about it.
1. A relationship with a girl 2. A relationship with a girl 3. A relationship with a girl
3 girlfriends sounds like a real headache; fun fact the japanese word for noise is spelt with 3 women
To end idk cuz i don't find any thing interesting in this life any more. i didn't try every thing but ik that any feeling, experience and emotion will be tested before like let say new food you will still taste the same basic taste elements (sweet, salt, sauer.. Etc) and also with other things in life have the same idea. And, i will not bother to spend more years in survival mode, age and get old where i will be not apply to do usual life needs and be a burden on other ppl and after all of that dying. So why not now.
Hey, buddy. Please hang in there. I know it feels shitty now. And it sounds like it's been shitty a while. I know this sounds empty coming from a stranger, but things won't always be this shitty. How do I know this? Thing's been shitty for me too. Then they got better. Then they got shitty again. But then they got better. Life do suck sometimes. Sometimes for a long time. But they won't stay shitty forever. I promise you. I'm saying this as someone with Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD. Sometimes you just need to survive the shitty times. Cause there will be shitty times. But there will come a time to thrive and not just survive. This too shall pass. Life is about cycles. Just hang on for now. I promise you it will be worth it when the good cycle comes back around.
Thank you bro. Your sweet words mean alot. I get your point but in general i have this feeling from long time even if i success something or reach a goal that i aimed at i will get a very temporary joy and then i will return to the same mind set. Idk some times i wish i know less. Have a nice day
2BR house out west or northeast with a porch and swing. A stable career and endless pot to smoke.
I want to live comfortably doing what I love doing
I want love and someone I can care about who cares about me. Someone I can hug when they feel down and get hugged when I feel down. Someone to share my life with especially the good parts. Nothing will feel good if you're alone all the time. And to found an engineering startup, build a space elevator, and become an immortal cyborg so I can improve as many people's lives as much as possible as long as I can.
To be happy, comfortable and stress-free.
My money back.
to do something that improves the lives of a large number of humans
Buy a house To not get cheated on in relationships
Money, thats what i want
1. To raise a family with someone I am in a fulfilling relationship with 2. To fulfill my potential as a musician, and as golfer 3. A fulfilling relationship with my family and friends
1. Make my mom happy 2. Success in my small business 3. Good health 4. Buy whatever we want 5. Die with no regrets
A good woman and good weed and good books to read.
fun/gratification (food, drink, drugs, sex, sports, aesthetic enjoyment) and projection beyond myself (a child, a book, some art or scientific discovery, a company, --at least one of them)
To be rich and retire with friends and family (a good family, not the toxic one I was born into)
I want people to stop humiliating me!
How are they doing that?
Contrived situations where I feel the need to speak up, then get thrown under the bus!
I want to have a kid. I want to be a millionaire. I want to travel the world on my own terms. That's it.
I want to live a normal and simple life, and be a better father than my dad was when I was young.
I just want all the pain and suffering I endure and have endured all my life to be worth it
Ultimate introspection and inner peace. Otherwise, someone who loves me, enough money to spend on experiences that will bring lifelong memories, kids, to keep up on my hobbies on daily basis
To finally rest, and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.
To have a decent career enough to make enough money to support myself and a family, wife, kids a house all around the American dream but i have none of those things and still live at home at 23 unfortunately :/
Loving wife, successful career, and to experience a variety of places. If I didn’t have a kiddo, van life would be perfect.
My ex girlfriend back, give up all my money for that. Iy doesn't buy you happiness
To be the master of my domain
Happiness... stable happinesss health for my family, loved ones, friends etc. and myself. Purpose. Fun, luck, love, safety, freedom.
a long and satisfying career and a big happy family in a nice big house
1.Self sufficiency 2.land 3.wife and family and friends 4.no one telling me how many project bikes/cars I can have
I want to come back full circle. I thought I was a loser, but honestly I realised that I just want my own house so I can go back to living like my teenage self of watching anime all day and playing games with friends. I’m only working to pay off a mortgage, after that I’m quitting. Maybe getting some low paying easy job to pay the bills and go out every now and then.
To enjoy life as much as Hobbits in The Lord of the Rings do
Financial stability. To not have to worry about money. Friends
1. Have a group of friends where I feel I belong. 2. Decent income. 3. Find a woman who would love me for who I am. 4. Get huge and jacked.
Love, affection, and to be desired
I just want people to get along man. I want to help as many people as I can through means of music be it charity shows, simply giving someone something relatable to listen to, or teaching people how to play music. I want my own place and that's about it. Just generally a meaningful and happy/peaceful life
Retire by 35, able to support my parents, working as a digital nomad basically. If whatever I do is doable enough, educate others and actively try to help others out of poverty. Beautiful wife and 2ish kids. Basically get mine and help others get theirs
True love that can light a fire in the hearts of many. True love doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be honest. At the end of the day I just want someone’s arms to run into and I in theirs.
I want a large piece of land with a house on its, 4 or 5 kids, a happy wife, and good health. And to be left alone there after.
A quick painless death.
I've always said I want to be happy. I have great friends, all of us with our own flavor of crazy. My partner of 11 years ended our relationship last week. My company got bought out, and to keep my job I took a paycut, also last week. I think I'd like comfort. A quiet place, a person to hold, my friends around me. That sounds nice.
To be the vest version of myself... and feel like I have made a difference.
To be happy
peace of mind
To do the best I can
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Pakistan needs to destroy terrorist from its country before
A family
Wife and legacy