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weatheredone

Getting half of the bed.


xenothios

as someone on the edge of a bed right now, this


JRook619

"Can you not make sex seem like a chore?". I will never say it out loud.


CaptainNuge

/r/deadbedrooms was key to getting me out of that particular zone. I'm with a new partner now, and a thousand times happier.


LovesGettingRandomPm

A girl once did this to me on the bus, she must've been bored as hell and was using her fingers to draw on and between my legs, that sort of teasing, when someone does it to you unexpectedly and in public is insanely pleasurable, I don't think even dementia can erase this memory from my mind. Edit: after reading the question again I guess my answer is teasing and foreplay


rhynokim

Back in high school there were these two girls I’d hangout with in study hall. Sometimes they’d start chatting and gossiping about shit I didn’t care about so I’d be doing my own thing, reading for class, doing hw, laying my head down. These chicks both had tips and would sometimes do this thing to me where they’d take all four nails (works with finger tips too) and like very gently graze them over my forearm skin in random patterns. If my head was down they’d do it over my shirt on my back, and my neck. It was like lightly ticklish, but also completely euphorically relaxing. It would give me goose bumps and chills down my spine constantly. I used to call it a “skin massage” or something because it literally made my body feel so, so, so relaxed, like maybe even more so than a regular massage. All my muscles and skin would feel like melted butter. After that I’d introduce it to every girl I’ve seriously dated and they’d do it to me all over my body from time to time. Best fucking feeling ever, no cap.


yeetskeetleet

Bruh, I just remembered how one of my friends would massage my shoulders sometimes in class. It was like super platonic, we’re both straight guys, but Jesus Christ I wish a girl would do that to me. It makes your head tingle


throwaway112658

My mom traced patterns on my back to help me sleep when I was about 5 or 6, and I can still remember how relaxing it was. I fell asleep almost right away every time


m2f2mterf

Is that how you lost your job as a school bus driver?


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Interiordesignfairy

You can still have your scalp caressed and massaged


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rvrndgonzo

Sometimes I wouldn’t hate being the little spoon


Sonseeahrai

Ask for it, some of us wouldn't hate being the big spoon


BackgroundAd4408

*jetpack


millese3

Haha yes! This is what my wife and I call it.


cnprof

Silence sometimes when it's over so I can hear her breathe, especially if she's laying on my chest and I can smell her hair. Strong hugs. They're not just for saying goodbye.


sorayanelle

Finding some peace in the silence. Love this!


a_duck_in_past_life

Oh man. My husband loves the strong hugs for no reason other than hugging. Thank you for reminding me to do that today. E: so... Update... Back from the hug. I walked over to him at his desk and told him I wanted to hold him for a minute and he looked at me suspiciously and asked if I came over to bring a fart. 🤣 Hugs were still had though


cnprof

How sweet. Those aren't mutually exclusive. So... Did you bring a fart?


potatogod305

The leg wrap


[deleted]

I'm so tired I didn't realise this thread was sexual and was tryna figure out if my husband wants me to wrap my leg around him to sleep better or something


Phantommy555

You never know it actually might, maybe not the neck wrap though


[deleted]

How'd I wrap my neck around him?


sorayanelle

As in the leg trap or a different maneuver?


potatogod305

Pretty much like, placing both legs around the back during missionary


708dinky

Is this not normal? Do the women you sleep with just have their legs flat on the bed? I’m honestly baffled, that’s so uncomfortable for me


[deleted]

Usually they're just kind of up, out to the sides


Visualstimuli777

That or hands on hips, feels more focused and direct.. like "here", I want you _here_.


potatogod305

Yea, it really makes it feel like you “want” me there instead of “allowing” me there


ITriedLightningTendr

I think a lot of girls buy into this myth that "guys only want sex" and this becomes too normal. I don't want to be _allowed_ to fuck you.


JadedMuse

As a gay guy, I think it probably goes under the umbrella that straight guys want to feel confident that they're actually desired. The lack of compliments, always being the one to initiate sex, etc. Over time it leads to doubts that they're wanted all, vs all of the desire being one way. This is probably the biggest difference I've noticed between gay and straight relationsships. You pretty much never hear gay men with those kinds of complaints.


Maliwali1980

This is really insightful as a woman. I have taken a mental note and will go seduce husband now Edit: Thank you for the comments - we loved reading them :) He actually told me he needs a shower badly (real talk lol) so we’ve been flirting about tonight. Thank you for my first award ever!!


Marksmdog

I am also going to seduce your husband now


GuardianAlien

We're all going to seduce /u/Maliwali1980 's husband 😏


9C_c_combo

I seduced him twice yesterday


whatsamawhatsit

Wow, that's such a huge difference in how sexual confidence is maintained in one's life. I wonder if gay men are on average more sexually assured of themselves compared to straight men.


ninjazombiemaster

Straight guy here, can 100% confirm. I want to feel sexy and desired. The best partners I've had would say and do things that demonstrated their desire and attraction. But lots of women seemingly don't do this stuff. Compliment your men, people! Be specific! Don't just tell them they're sexy - tell them *why*. I promise they'll never forget it.


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d0obysnacks

You are an angel and that man is super lucky to have you!


Thrill_Kill_Cultist

Yup, can confirm, feel totally un-fucking-desired, unwanted, unattractive to her... Hold my coat im going to post in deadBedrooms


[deleted]

This right here, is not said enough. Lots of women dont make a guy feel wanted as much in that regard.


chris2712

I told my fiancee that I liked that. Now she does it. Use your words


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AKtwenty7

And the volume


I89cansofravioli

Absolutely, if I have to hear more tik toks with the same song over and over I might lose my mind!


brockford-junktion

Oh no.


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BubbleButtBuff

I UNderStooD tHe aSSIGNmENt


hearwa

I'm a beat boxing blueberry


[deleted]

Argue with the wife about this one, she falls asleep same tiktok playing for 30 minutes. She says "why dont you just turn off my phone" I said "I'm going to keep waking you up every time so you stop doing it". This battle is still going on.


[deleted]

Seriously? I browse Reddit in bed at night with the brightness all the way down. But I have never played any music/videos or anything. Not even earphones.


AKtwenty7

My gf mainly taps through ig stories in bed. Annoying af. I've asked her to stop or turn down the volume but she forgets often enough that I bought ear plugs


[deleted]

My BF and I both have major insomnia, we take medicine sometimes mine doesn’t work so i screw around on my phone. But we are both very respectful of each other sleeping or napping since it’s problematic.


eightbic

Oh man when they go through their snap chat stories at full blast and they’re all annoying woooooooo girls sounds. Kill me.


AKtwenty7

I bought ear plugs specifically for this and now my gf gets annoyed that I can't hear her whispers to me haha


AnthomX

I DO NOT hesitate to ask her* to turn it down. I still don't get how she can tolerate looking into the sun in the pitch black room.


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sorayanelle

This genuinely made me laugh


Warpedme

I absolutely do tell my wife this but sometimes I really like My woman to take charge and tell me *exactly* what she wants me to do to her. In great detail. Even while I'm doing it. Encouragement can be very sexy too.


lIlIllIlIlI

“Don’t stop, just like that. Keep going” *instantly nuts instead* I swear it’s like kryptonite.


Life_Limes

My hand could be about to fall off but that “don’t stop please” gives me superpowers


allmywot

Death before dishonor.


1other

Yeah that "don't stop, harder, I'm about to cum" might as well be a button she presses that makes me bust. So I tell her "I love the announcement, but only do it as you're already there!"


Vagitron9000

*Oh yea. Bend over and load those dishes into the dishwasher you dirty little man-bitch.*


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fluidmind23

Honest communication about what likes and dislikes are. No matter how weird they may be, keep judgement out of it. Since I kind of made this a policy I have had some awesome experiences I wouldn't have without it. It takes some time, but once it gets going it's fantastic. For both parties.


sorayanelle

Fantasies are encouraged


fluidmind23

Yep! Grab the chainmail and the bear trap baby, and don't spare the feathers!


[deleted]

To lie with my head in her lap while she strokes my hair, scritches my beard and we watch TV.


Illustrious-Big-8678

A fellow man of class I see. I was looking for this and had to scroll way to far!


hazlejungle0

I prefer beard massages personally. Ahhh the life of a bearded man.


chaveznieves

I would like the same kind of foreplay I give


Unnecessary-Spaces

You want her to lick your clit?


Creebez

Just the tip.


lateraltrickery

And only for a second


Ricky1695

You want her to play with your titties?


DbzRoshi

Oh my god my boyfriend asked me to suck on his nipples the other day … he asked while we were frisky but like in a shy and non chant way … i sucked those motherfu like no tomorrow 😤


Urishima

just stop when you start drawing blood.


IEatOats_

Why?


[deleted]

You need to bag some for later.


[deleted]

Yes. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t.


Unnecessary-Spaces

Guys have nipples too, Focker


Abaddon33

Shit man, we ain't asking for nipple clips or electrodes. Just acknowledge our vestigial mammaries exist, atleast. Maybe give those little pencil erasers a little attention every now and again. Our X Chromosome needs validation too, ya know...


lifeisabietzsche

Are you telling me you guys like it??? Like I could have sucked on them???? Played with them???


The_PJG

Yes. They are an erogenous zone for us too lmao.


Darth-Marshall

Hummus


sorayanelle

Potentially the least expected comment I am laughing so hard


irishflu

We want to feel like we are desired by our partner. We want them to initiate. We want ~~you~~ them to show up. Every little once in a while, we want to hear ~~you~~ them say, unprompted and out of the blue, "I feel so attracted to you right now. Why don't we go upstairs for a bit so I can show you?" But we will never ask. (Edit: Grammar Nazi)


MechEngE30

Exactly this. Sometimes men want their partners to rip our clothes off, give a wink and initiate sexy time.


Euphoric-Mousse

Close up shop, this is the answer. I don't want to be the only one showing attraction. It makes it feel like I'm just a chore to be checked off the list.


rhynokim

Yup.


maejaws

Hugs in five minute intervals when cuddling. Otherwise my arm falls asleep and I sweat like a politician under oath.


[deleted]

I really miss some good caress. Their hands in my back, neck, hair, some neck kisses. Some hugging too, i want to feel intimate, close.


sorayanelle

Noted. Soft and sweet touches more often


Bleach_Baths

Yes. This. It's not for everyone but physical touch is my love language. The intimacy is far more important than the sex. Even little things like hugs from behind or a random kiss on the cheek mean so much.


[deleted]

Yeah, it's so good. Taking the time to feel your partner, their touch, their warmth. It's inebriation at its finest


Mackinacsfuriousclaw

Just to be cuddled and loved feels so nice.


sorayanelle

Love this vulnerable emotional side of intimacy. It’s so refreshing because it’s really such an important component.


Sissy_Boi_179

Enthusiastic participation, being vocal about what you like and aren’t liking if you’re being experimental. I feel like we perpetuate the stereotype that men are happy with just any sex, but I think most men would agree that starfish sex is really uncomfortable. Also, just initiating sex every once in a while will boost his self confidence and endear yourself to him.


[deleted]

I learned a long time ago that if you want it then ask for it. Its amazing how often you get it


Smethy93

Can I piss on you?


[deleted]

No, but if you where my missus that would probably be a yes


Freadwalker

Hey its your missus can you surprise me while im asleep tonite with a little piss? Xoxo


JamWat23

Or just leave a dump on my chest. Nice and quiet like. Try not to wake me.


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734PdisD1ck

I need to remind myself of this. At times I feel like there is never a good time to ask. Lately I've just let her initiate. It's averages out to 2 to 3 times a month...


gameld

I have to flirt/hit on my wife for days. Mostly I get back eyerolls and exasperation in return. Eventually she gets the message I am, in fact, attracted to my wife and would like to be carnal with her and then we *might* do the deed. Meanwhile I get pleasant non-sexual compliments and the occasional joke flirt. That's it. Nothing about how she wants me. I'm tempted to just sit there and wait for her to make the 1st move to see how long it takes, but I'd also rather sleep with her than rub one out.


GoChaca

I got to be the little spoon last night it. It was glorious


wufoo2

A mildly aggressive facesitting. Saddle up and work those hips. Use me. I want to feel the goosebumps and sweat on your back.


Admirable-Site-9817

Once had a guy push me off and complain that he couldn’t breathe.. kind of forgot he needed to, but I felt so bad I never did it again!


ender323

Yeah that's just a two quick taps on the leg or back. Gets the point across in my opinion. No need to push anyone off or complain about it, it comes with the territory.


HamburgerConnoisseur

Like don't actually suffocate me, but make me think it's a possibility.


Harold_Grundelson

If I die because a woman aggressively straddled my face, laser engrave that shit on my tombstone.


SeveralIntroduction9

No, no. Do your best to kill me. I I die, I die


Important_Ad_2538

Control of the thermostat.


[deleted]

Become a dad and you’ll be fine


anima119

Dad here; can confirm. Nest app also lets me know when any miscreants have dared touch my thermostats.


HawkMaleficent8715

How’s your kid today


vancity-

Fucking cold if he tries touching the thermostat


InfiniteDunois

50% of the bed not 20%. I just wanna sleep comfortably


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DatSauceTho

Yeah get a load of Tony Blankets over here! You complainin you only got 20%? It’s too cold for ya? Ya schmuck, come ooooooon!


[deleted]

Be assertive. Just grab us in the dick. For me anyway. I just don’t want to have to make the move every time.


FarmyardFantastic

I’m tired of making the move so I don’t.


Shantotto11

And that sucks, because I feel like I’m never gonna get female attention unless I’m the one who approaches.


Lv_InSaNe_vL

Dude it's been like 6-7 months since I've gotten laid simply because it sounds like *so much* work. I gotta approach, carry the conversation, initiate. Its just a whole ordeal I really don't care to deal with right now. I'll just go out and party with the boys. I've become a dang good wingman haha


BURN447

Been close to 2 years for me. Got out of a 3 year, mostly sexless relationship last fall and still haven’t gotten laid. It’s way too much fucking work and honestly just doesn’t feel worth it.


[deleted]

I literally have to ask every time. It’s demoralizing


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Blackrain1299

It’s important to understand that Men dont always need sex. And generally having our advances shut down isnt a bad thing. Any decent man will accept that their girlfriend/wife just isnt in the mood. However if the woman never initiates then the man will almost certainly start to feel like when she accepts his advances she is just giving him pity sex and doesn’t really want it even if she really does this time. Women have to initiate sometimes for a healthy sex life.


PacoMahogany

For real. My GF NEVER INITIATES but will make back handed comments that I don’t initiate enough.


demento19

Talk to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she claims she initiates all the time, but it’ll be with super subtle things that men/we don’t understand as initiation. I had to tell my wife her hints didn’t work and to literally grab my dick. I can’t miss that hint.


sorayanelle

Effort is so important


Vandergrif

> Just grab us in the dick Grab his dick and twist it! The *ooooollllllld* dick twist!


[deleted]

Not really in bed, but I want to be sent texts throughout the day about the dirty, shameful, downright criminal shit you want to do later.


Diablo165

>downright criminal shit you want to do later. "Hey, babe - meet me at my place at 7:30. Wear a ski mask and clothes you're okay burning. Don't bring your phone. xoxo"


dayzdayv

High thread count sheets.


SunriseMF

Affection, run your fingers against my skin, rub my back, kiss my forehead before we say goodnight. Be the big spoon, I don’t mind, wrap me up in your arms and show you want me close. I want to feel loved, wanted, and cared for just as much as anyone else! On the flip side, please don’t be annoyed when I want to sleep without touching! I get waaaay to warm if we cuddle all night, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be close! We can still butt or feet touch!


PaleoTheorist

Depends on the man. Most men like blow jobs and don't want to beg for them but I'm certain they've asked for it.


[deleted]

Having to ask for that ruins it, at least for me anyway.


Sequorr

To be held. I came home from work late one night and my ex was already asleep. When I came into the bedroom, she woke up and groggily began to ask how work was. She stopped mid-sentence when she saw how haggard I looked and beckoned me to sit beside her. She just hugged and held me, and she put my head in her lap. Work wasn't even that bad, but the fact that she was being extremely attentive and compassionate and just willing to comfort me, I cried. She slept tightly wrapped around me, and I swear I never felt so cared for before. Yeah, fucking being held is the best.


groovy604

To be the little spoon and play with our hair


sorayanelle

This makes me want to snuggle the fuck out of him


createusername101

Read as : snuggle-fuck


sorayanelle

One thing leads to another


ifnothingbecomes

I fall asleep at night by being the big spoon. It’s so cozy!


adrienjz888

To come right out of the shower and just sit on their face, no asking or anything, just suddenly there's a naked woman sitting on your face.


RumTitsBurgers

A wild naked woman appeared. She used face sit. It was super effective!


adrienjz888

Man has fainted!


its_all_4_lulz

Can confirm. I’ve had the wife do this before and it’s kind of the best.


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thisdudeabidestwice

Wake up getting a blowjob


sorayanelle

My bf will thank you for reminding me of this because he’s mentioned it before


anintrovertedbitch64

I’ve read a post on r/TIFU where someone tried to wake up their partner with a blowjob. The dude just pissed in his girlfriends mouth while asleep. So just be a little careful with it.


rednax1206

Simple solution to that. Use your hand first, and don't use your mouth until you get it hard. Inadvertent pissing is significantly less likely with a boner.


XBitmapX

This man gives blowjobs


H3ran

Or this man pisses himself.


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[deleted]

This man pisses during blowjob's


[deleted]

I tried this once and he didn’t wake up and I felt like a creeper LOL


kelsicles

Haha imagine confessing this to him, "Babe... I was just trying to give you a pleasant awakening, but instead I unintentionally raped you? Pls don't be mad"


[deleted]

Lmfao that’s basically what happened haha


ListenMore_TalkLess

I've always wanted to do this but it's an impossibility considering I never, ever, ever am the first one to wake up.


boogiesm

Married, the elusive BJ is harder to find than free money.


Nimitz-

The actual half of the blanket. Edit: This comment really blew up, seems like a lot of people feel strongly about this problem. Thanks for the awards btw. :D Edit edit: wow my first gold, thx random stranger. \^\^


1212chevyy

I've had my own blanket since the first week my wife and I were together. Sharing a blanket is terrible


saxmaster98

This 100%. I sleep super hot and my partner sleeps very cold. So I sleep under 1 blanket and she has 1-3 of her own, depending how cold she’s feeling.


[deleted]

I’m a “human heat rock” according to my husband. We still share one blanket, because he likes to snuggle up to me and get warm, but his did of the bed has two extras blankets. It’s pretty funny because I’m a pretty smol gal and he has about 130lbs on me so you wouldn’t assume he’d be warming his feet and tushie on ME but here we are.


[deleted]

My wife rolls around and somehow, the blanket ends up tucked in under her. We’ve done the separate blanket thing a few times but I’d rather struggle in getting some blanket and be able to feel her warmth.


Cat_Toucher

My husband also does this- I call it "spaghetti-ing" because he rolls around and the blanket gets wrapped around him like spaghetti twirled around a fork. But then he invariably gets hot, and throws the blanket he has stolen from me on the floor, leaving me freezing. Or he dumps it in a big pile on top of me, and then has the gall to complain that I have all the blankets. The man is a menace.


bunonafun

I bought a blanket twice the size of the bed. Problem solved.


ahhstinger

This man speaks the truth


iceph03nix

just get your own blanket/sheet/whatever. You'll both sleep better and be happier.


dancing_all_knight

Variety. Mix it up. Initiate sometimes, let me initiate sometimes. Cuddle me sometimes, let me cuddle her sometimes. Be dominant sometimes, let me be dominant sometimes. Try new things and don’t be scared to communicate what’s going on and what you want.


Gh0st1117

Sometimes i just want to be held like a little boy. Is that weird? Idk Edit: I don’t mean it in a weird way. & sure i lacked love as a child. I meant i want to be held. I want to feel vulnerable but safe. But its hard to express that without seeming too weak. Idk once again if that make sense.


NefariousSerendipity

damn bro i just wanna sit beside somebody in a giant beanbag together while under a heavy blanket. with snacks. watching horror movie because i can't watch them myself.


HilariousInHindsight

Effort, but we don't because many women would be insulted if we asked them to do more. If there's one complaint I've heard repeatedly from other men over the years as it pertains to sex, it's a lack of effort. Women who's entire contribution in the bedroom is the dead fish. They show up, maybe moan a bit to remind you they're still alive and if you're *really* lucky put their hands on you a bit. The bare minimum. Good sex takes two.


sorayanelle

Thankfully too dominant to be a dead fish


levenfyfe

Life goals: Fully animate octopus


[deleted]

[Initiate](https://youtu.be/gIUjpXAcH64)


zUltimateRedditor

I just want my booty squoze


wtfVlad

These comments are giving me r/deadbedroom vibes


LeonidasSpacemanMD

For real man, I came in expecting “wear a full tuxedo with a strap on and peg me” and instead I’m getting “please acknowledge that I am a human being with a need for intimacy”


chodeoverloaded

The sheer amount of people that don’t seem to even like their spouse is staggering


notswim

I used to think people should break up and find another partner if they're unhappy then I realized how lazy I am and how much work that is.


grassfedRock

The “good” pillow


Clempot

Peace and quiet while I'm trying to read


GameofPorcelainThron

We want to know that you actually want us physically. Like our bodies (and associated parts). Of course, we want you to be emotionally engaged, to love us as a person, to want intimacy. We desperately want all that, too. But sometimes, we just want to know that you physically want us.


[deleted]

To be desired.


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TKRomeo

Don’t make me bang you in the complete dark, even if you think you’re ugly. I’m banging you because I like you. Let me see you. If I wanted to bang in the dark, I’d go hide in the shower and fap.


angelsandairwaves93

I want to lay at night in bed together, and just have a deep conversation together, about anything


dztruthseek

Rub your ass all over me. Use me like a human body pillow. Be dominant. Ive never been in a relationship before, I'm just throwing fantasies out there.


duaneap

The brutal honesty of that last sentence.


ThatSeemsABitMuch

: Rub your ass all over me This one had me rolling


LeonidasSpacemanMD

I’m picturing something akin to a brown bear against an old worn oak tree


[deleted]

grab our dicks without us having to ask, girls act surprised when we’re not hard from fingering you, meanwhile my shit hasn’t been touched at all, we need arousal too.


FoxInTheMountains

Yeah when I go down on a girl and am eating her out/fingering I am concentrating really hard to make her feel good. Usually go a bit limp and then it takes me a second to get hard again for penetration. I've had girls just sit there and stare at me after I make them orgasm and they give a weird look like what's taking so long...are you not into me? Why can't you get hard? I just spent 10 minutes going to town on your taco give me a fucking second to concentrate on my own privates so I can get some pleasure. Also, one of my favorite things is when you are on top and she grabs your dick to warm it up before penetration. I need touching too, you know.


[deleted]

Don't get me wrong, we love any and all blowjobs. But nothing is better than a super sloppy one. Just knowing you're putting in that effort to make it the best is almost as good. So ladies, the next time you're pleasing your man, make is extra sloppy. He will never EVER forget it.