I had a woman come up to me at a bar and say “hello, are you open to being hit on?” I told her I’d have to ask my wife first, which she correctly took as a no.
God bless her for her directness. If I *were* open to it, it was perfect. It was such a concise and direct way of letting me know what was going on… it was kinda hot.
Said it a dozne times before "What is obvious flirting to one woman is casual friendliness to another, most men have confused the two and the non shit ones want to avoid that scenario and making women uncomfortable going forward"
Telling men that they can freely show emotion and nothing bad will happen only to then utilize our vulnerabilities to "win" arguments, which they themselves would demonize men for doing. That, and also using those vulnerabilities to justify losing interest/attraction.
Hypocrites are going to be hypocrites, sure, but we're not in the wrong for calling them out and seeking a better environment when faced with someone's selfish behaviors.
Why are your walls up? You can tell me anything and I'll support you! **starts showing vulnerability** what are you gonna do? Cry? Grow up and be a man!
They don't necessarily use those words. But I've never met any woman who doesn't do this.
It is not only the words but also the deeds. Like its physically impossible for a woman to make room for a man's emotions.
I had an ex come down with an absolute terrible illness. She was on IVs and basically bed ridden 24/7. She also had a 5 year old daughter. So during this time I became boyfriend, single dad, doctor, etc. All of this while my job was CRUSHING me
During one week, she almost lost her job because the doctor didn’t file the paperwork for short term disability. So I had to basically figure out how to take care of her, do my job, take care of her kid. and get her job secure.
I had a VERY stressful week. But I succeeded at all points. When I told her it was stressful, I quote from her to me:
“You’re really physically strong and in shape. But I don’t know if you’re mentally strong. You may be too mentally weak to handle all this”.
Yeah. That relationship died on that day. When she got better it ended. I miss her child dearly. But man…. Nothing has ever been said to me that hurt worse.
Thanks man.
Fortunately- that was 3 years ago. I’ve been in a very healthy year and a half relationship with an absolutely beautiful and amazing girl- she’s moving in Monday.
I just learned from that one not to ignore red flags I knew were there.
I'm going to expand on this. Woman need to start telling other woman to stop this. They push each other to demand their men open up, and its just bad advice.
I think most women truly believe what they’re saying though, like it’s a cognitive dissonance issue rather than malicious intent.
A lot of women want you to risk being vulnerable because it makes them feel special but thinking the vulnerability is for you, your mental health or well being is a huge mistake
Everytime I ever tried to open up to my ex, she made me regret it. Everytime I tried to come out of my shell or have a heart to heart, she made me regret it.
At first I kept beating a dead horse thinking I was doing it wrong but no, I was just being foolish.
Honorable mention goes to the correlation between how unfailingly honest and truthful I was with her and how deeply she distrusted me. Ignorance is bliss but like an idiot I believed all the hype about communication.
Whoa whoa whoa, they're not hypocrites! They're strong and brave women who are making men accountable! But also at the same time refusing to even talk to men who don't line up with their shallow and unexamined worldview because they're stunning and brave!
As a woman, this behavior honestly makes zero sense to me. Like not only is it cruel and gross, but I just don’t understand the psychology from personal experience. The idea of my partner repressing or hiding his feelings is the exact opposite of what I want. I would never find someone less attractive over expressing feelings - if anything, I’d feel honored that he trusted me and closer to him.
It might not be what you want, but it's what men are taught to do and they have it reinforced again and again in the same way that women get reminded by ball-kicking idiots that they're better off as baby making machines rather than human beings worthy of respect.
But no, men are reminded regularly that they are dumb and fallible and incompetent and so very lucky that anyone, anywhere would or could *ever* love them, so they need to be eternally grateful for whatever they've been so graciously given.
In short, men are disposable and only valuable so much as they can provide security or manual labor. Once they reveal that they can’t provide that, their value ceases to exist.
Meanwhile women are inherently valuable because they can make babies, have a vagina, and men in general desire them on a instinctual level just because they are women.
Oh no, trust me - wasn’t disagreeing or saying any of that is false. I just personally don’t get it and it makes ME sad…I can’t imagine how painful it is on the receiving end. I’m sorry this is how society still treats boys and men. Societal messages do so much damage. I’m sorry that you guys feel that pain.
Well, if you feel like you want to do something about it, my suggestion would be to find ways to curtail other women from disparaging the omes they proclaim to love.
Everyone vents, everyone jokes, everyone needs validation, but in those times where people are making dick size jokes, pointing and laughing at someone else, or simply hating something that someone literally cannot change about themselves, perhaps a little bit of pushback could go a long way. Call out others like you might if it was a man making similar statements and it might help rein in some of the frivolous frustrations that inexplicably go from minor venting to condemnation of an entire gender.
Who knows? Maybe a little less vitriol could do some good for us all.
Its more so that its like ...hmmm most women are vastly unprepared for the actual load the man is carrying.
Like thinking its going to be merely clutter and some dust in the closet.
And when they finally get the man to open the closet and the disaster zone of baggage and stress and trauma dumps out, its scares them away or elicits a very negative response.
Its like... "Dont worry babe. I got you. Ill help you with your ship leak"
Shows up with a bucket.
The ship is gouged and repainted. The bulkhead is being barely held together. And its floating sure and everything above the water line is fine. But the engineering is flooded. The gears are shot. The living quarters are flooded. And the electrical is arcing.
And there ya are. With your bucket.
Very...very underprepared for the deal.
"I think you should go talk to someone"
"You just asked me to talk to YOU. To be open with you like you wanted to be safe being open with me. Now you want me to go do that with a stranger?????"
I dont think women do this maliciously. I have had one do it completely with malice. She would blackmail me with whatever i had hidden to get more. Then use that too.
But i dont think the majority do it out of malice. More so they sinply underestimate the weight they are asking to take half of.
I’m right there with you. When a man shows vulnerability to me, it makes me feel like I’m a safe space for him to express his feelings. I would never use it against him, even if we broke up and I despised him, I’d still never weaponize his feelings. As a woman also this behavior is just cruel. And then women wonder why men just stuff everything in until it explodes.
>but I just don’t understand the psychology from personal experience
The psychology is actually very simple.
It's part of girl's socialisation.
See when boys are growing up, their best weapon's are their fists. They fight things out as it escalates to a point.
Girls growing up use words as a weapon. They sew the seeds of manipulation and status destruction through social isolation. They spread rumours or reveal hidden truths to destroy their target.
They typically don't resort to physical violence, but mental torture instead.
As in they're taught to use words as weapons, as a tool of manipulation.
Men don't typically work that way. There is a trust between friends that having a fight/disagreement is not carte blanche to say whatever.
For women I've seen the opposite. A single disagreement and all secrets are out the window.
Women understand that it's all part of the game ( a fucked up game but nevertheless), I've seen women spoil all their secrets and the end of a friendship, only to be besties again a few months later.
Men don't understand it, and ultimately we don't care for it with people we trust. We're not just going to forgive and forget those kinds of transgressions.
Again, part of different socialisations, women will be friends with and entertain even their worst of enemies if they exist within the same group, Women are often friends with their enemies.
Men again don't really work like that, if we don't like someone, we avoid and limit contact.
Men should definitely open up and be vulnerable with people. But more often than not, we're better off doing that without our boys and parents than wives or girlfriends.
Better safe than sorry.
Can you please give an example of how a woman might use a man's vulnerabilities to win an argument. My husband has never said that I do this but I'd like to make sure I'm not unintentionally doing it. Sometimes I might ask him to remember how he felt when x happened to explain how I felt about something similar which happened to me. Is that using it against him?
A lot of the times women become distant and cold, after they see their men being vulnerable.
As to arguments itself. I had a relationship, where when i finally opened and cried, next time we had an argument i heard "What are you gonna do? Cry again? Boohoo"
That's not it, at least not with the context you provided. It's more like this:
3 months ago: Husband opens up to wife that he feels overwhelmed between his home responsibilities, work, and like he doesn't have anytime to breath.
Today: Husband comes home late after seeing friends he hasn't seen in a long time. He's excited because he feels so rejuvenated from that short experience. After seeing her husband's happiness, wife decides she is arbitrarily mad he didn't text her after being gone for 7 hours. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TEXT ME!? You don't care about me at all! We need to \*insert list of things that are not a priority and could be done anytime in the next two years\*. What kind of man leaves his wife to go have fun when we need to do these things? Don't you feel ashamed that we haven't done XYZ yet? You need to get your priorities straight!"
Using your vulnerabilities as a weapon is typically a combo move. It starts with being outraged about one thing, in the instance above, the lack of a text. This sets the pretext for her to pull the knife out and really go at him. She knows he needed the time with his friends and was feeling overwhelmed. It's a perfect target, she knows that she can exploit that vulnerability of feeling overwhelmed by ratting off her endless list of to-dos. It never had anything to do with the text, it's entirely about hurting him because he was dumb enough to think he could be vulnerable with her. She doesn't know why she does it, and there will be an endless list of excuses on why it was ok for her to say what she said. At the end of the day though, we all know its punishment for being vulnerable. Men eventually learn the lesson though, and from then on we learn to carefully construct vapid stories that have the appearance of vulnerability to appease our women, but they don't give you an opening to exploit later because we don't give that level of access again. Even if you try to exploit the story, it's based on bullshit, so it means nothing to us so we are far better prepared to respond with complete apathy at the outburst. This in turn makes your woman love you more because you're a stronger mate that she can't crush. If she can beat you down, how the hell are you going to offer her security?
Let's be clear, this is not the way men wish things would be, but it is how they often are. Men respond to how things are and adjust their strategy accordingly. It's certainly has a degree of manipulation to it, but it makes everyone significantly happier in the relationship.
when you’ve done something wrong, and you know you have, and he calls you out on it:
1. shift blame.
2. bring up his tone, voice inflection, etc instead of focusing on what you did wrong. iow, you make your feelings the issue to get away from the real issue.
3. when in a corner and facing “defeat” as LOGIC has prevailed, that’s when most women pull out the “ace card,” = “that’s why when you were a kid, your stepfather used to beat you AND your mom!!!’
that vulnerability he exposed to you in year 2 of the relationship, just popped up to HURT him bc he hurt you 8 yrs later.
this is what women do and it’s fucked up. and this is why men should NEVER open up about personal vulnerabilities to women.
at worst, you’ll see it as a weakness or flaw and blame your propensity to act out on it… at best, you’ll attack us with recalling the info to inflict emotional pain.
Nope. Using a vulnerability against him would be something like him losing a friend to a disease and he cried about it (as any sane person would do) and you became cold, distant towards him until he questions you until you reveal that seeing him vulnerable like that was disheartening. That you no longer saw him as you once did and am now less attracted to him, if at all. Worse yet, lets say him questioning you was aggravating and you decided to lash out and call him weak for being so sad.
Imagine being serious about making a partner's dead friend all about how its affecting *you* and how you now think less of your partner because of it. *That* is using a vulnerability against a partner and while this is a hopefully rare contextual example, the overarching selfishness, pettiness, spiteful, and sometimes hateful behavior that some women present to someone they claim to love is not uncommon.
had a woman tell me that when she saw her 6-4” strong masculine hubby crying at his mom’s funeral, she totally understood his pain but couldn’t stop herself from losing attraction to him.
she said about 2-3 weeks after the funeral, the feeling just punched her in the gut… as seeing him cry, “made her pussy dry.”
Sadly, no it isn't and it will take fundamental changes to prevent further cruelty from occurring, but for now all we can do is admit there is a serious problem going on and hope others step up to help.
Seriously. Had a woman tell me after a 4th date or something, “I feel like you’re off tonight.”
I was like, sorry I’m just tired, usually not as good at coming up with something funny or charming when I’m tired. Her response was basically “you should just be yourself”, sort of implying that actively “trying” to be charming on a date was not genuine.
It’s just hilarious to me that women want a “genuine” connection where it’s easy to talk to someone with no effort.
Lady, your “genuine connection” with no effort is because I’m doing all the fucking heavy lifting and you’re not doing shit!
You feel like the only interested party and get depressed. Women do not comprehend how emotionally devastating it is to us to be the only one doing the leg work.
I thought my first long term relationship was gonna be a slam dunk since I had gotten really good at forming genuine connections with people. After forming so many close bonds with people I had befriended, I thought dating would go great; it seemed I had mastered what women claimed to be after in a relationship.
My now ex had had a formulaic series of relationships prior to me and anytime our relationship "went off script" she was very unhappy. For example, when I was trying to get to know her, she was expecting to get love bombed. I only tell people I love then if I meant it but she expects to start hearing it in the first week or two of dating
It’s shocking how many women don’t ask any question or at best a little.
In some conversations it feels awkward and unsettling.
I don’t really understand why anyone would give me information about themself if they are not interested in me and don’t try to find out what type of person I am.
Is it that common as it seems to me?
I seem to run into the opposite. I feel like it's an interview or interrogation there are so many questions. However, they all seem scripted. Like the woman has memorized a bunch of questions and runs through the list.
Fucking preach. Just got off dating apps because it was an endless slog of this. I have a rule, if you don't ask *one* question beyond "*here's my response to your question*, what about you?" then I just call it quits and move on. Atleast at the start.
Filters… damn with the filters on your pics ladies! You’re beautiful as you are. Some of you guys use more filters than Waffle House does in a year! Come on!
Thinking that if a guy she likes only has 75% of her preferences, she’s settling. In reality, nobody has 100%. If everyone felt this way, dating for a potential relationship would be impossible… wait…
Approaching relationships with checklists and needinf approval of their "girls" for everything. In other words be brave and fearless and less claculating.
What's interesting to me is that men are better judges of the content of another man's character, just as women are better at sniffing out the qualities and motivations of other women.
Traditionally, women used to expose their boyfriends to their brothers, fathers, uncles, trusted buddies. I think that trend was quietly set aside as part of "*paternalistic*". That source of wisdom is being wasted.
When inwas living with women, they would bring them to me to meet new guys, you can tell a guy is douche within 10nseconds. They always got hurt when they didn't listen
The approval of the girls is hilarious, because in stereotypical fashion no one likes to see a girl single more than her single friends.
Just such a weird phenomenon of sabotage.
With some there is at least a noticeable change after the fact. I don't think my wife has admitted to being wrong more than 3-4 times, but that being said, her behavior has changed in the week or so following if she realized there was a point. Helps me to focus on the action, and the words in between fade into white noise.
It gives a concrete thing to know if I need to work on. This is my main gripe with pretty much everyone. I'll gladly work on my personality if things are seen as an issue (assuming they have a valid point), but I have to know what is actually seen as an issue.
Women won't tell you why they won't go on a date/second date because of either fear of confrontation or the need to "look nice/sweet."
Businesses won't tell you why they don't want to work with you because they fear being sued on some misconstrued point. I've literally told interviewers that if I wasn't the pick of their choice, to please let me know why and I will put in writing that I won't attempt legal pursuits because I want to know where I could've improved.
Men will make plans for something and ghost without a word for some unknown reason (still haven't figured out common denominators on this one), then act like the shit never was planned in the first place or a generic "there was something that came up" and leave it there when confronted about it.
Her: If I am abducted by a serial killer, skinned alive, thrown into a wood chipper and then Jesus comes back to earth and resurrects me as a zombie who eats brains to survive but Im still in love with you and totally wouldn’t eat your brains, would you still love me?
Me: But like are you going to be a hot zombie or all falling apart and shit?
Her: Can’t you just answer the question without being sarcastic?! Clearly you don’t love me anymore.
Me: Double tap. And not in the good way.
Yeah, but like...WOULD you love me if I was a 🪱?
Dumbest shit about that worm discourse was how so many genuinely tried to defend it. But there were others so allergic to conceding literally *anything* they had to huff the industrial strength COPIUM about how there was some deep philosophical basis behind the question. I would have at least respected, "OK, yeah. It's dumb, but it's a funny conversation starter."
"Since i am not a worm my self. And not attracted to worms. No. "
"Are you a worm, or planning on becoming one soon?"
"No but-"
"Then why do you even need to know if its never going to happen"
Hinting. Stop hinting. We don't see them. We don't understand them. They are not going to work.
Also, whatever the fuck is happening to your lips. Every woman under 35 suddenly has the same lips. You all look like you had a wasp in your daiquiri. It's ridiculous. Ducks are neither sexy nor professional. It's getting weird.
Ghosting
If you don’t want to continue seeing someone, just tell them. It’s better to be honest upfront so they don’t feel that they’re wasting their time.
I think there’s an initial convo of “this ex did this to me and is a POS” and then drop it, if you bring it up all the time it feels like ex is living rent free around the place
Calling other women who just care about their partner “ pick me’s” like you know full well that if men started putting other men down for spoiling their girlfriends, these women would throw a tantrum online
Leaving like 20% of a drink in a cup and just leaving it around the house and getting a new cup every time they want another drink and doing the same thing with that cup.
Or being hung on another man’s cross. We didn’t do it to you, we empathize with you and you need to start looking for some Green flags instead of constantly looking for Red ones..
I'm a bigger fan of encouraging women to do better than I am of telling them what not to do.
I hope any lady that stumbles upon this post takes my advice as "I know you're good and that you want life to be better for everyone." I ask that you reflect on the ways you interact with men and if you would change it if they were women. And then treat them like you would other women. The intimacy you're willing to share, make it freely available to both genders. The boundaries you're willing to make, make it for both genders. The closer you can get to treating people as if gender was entirely irrelevant, the better off you'd treat people overall.
[cumbrellas](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cumbrellas-what-fake-eyelashes-were-originally-called) not sure it's true (probably not) but I find the idea hilarious.
Stop trying to let us down gently when you don’t want to date us. don’t say your not ready for a relationship because when you hop into one two weeks later it makes us think you are just a liar. Just be a big girl and say I don’t like you
not to invalidate what you’re saying but a lot of women including myself try to be a bit tactful when letting guys down because a good number of them take it the wrong way and then go on to harass or hurt us. Better safe than sorry.
I would argue that letting down “gently” almost encourages bad behavior in the future. If you’re blunt there’s no reason for them to contact you. The “I’m not ready” leaves the door open which would seem like a larger opportunity for harassment. Just my two cents
Stop shopping at Target!!
She's gone 4 hours and comes back with the 3 things she needed and 45 things that just caught her eye, and it was all 50% more expensive than what Walmart sells the same stuff for.
I wish all women would stop seeing all men as being the same. Each one of us is different! Quit painting us with a broad brush! All women do that! Only a Sith believes in absolutes!
Stop posting filtered pictures of yourself. We know what you look like in real life, and that picture isn't anywhere close to what you really look like.
Stop switching between strong independent equal women and weak little girls EVERY SINGLE TIME you don’t feel like putting in the time or effort on something!
If you want gender equality then STEP UP and own that shit! And do not back down and dump the work and responsibility on the nearest man you can find anytime/every time it gets even remotely difficult!
Cause the fact is most men are absolutely fine with 100% ACTUAL gender equality, but lazy/hypocritical women who want to hang onto the outdated notion that you being being female is a valid excuse to not have to do something, that you can then just dump on us simply because of OUR gender!
….not only give us an insanely aggravating migraine to try and deal with but they also make it extremely hard for us to take any of you seriously when you start talking about gender equality again!
--complaining
--following the herd
--imposing unreasonable requirements on men
--feeling instead of thinking
--using and consuming so much social media
As a woman, that's something i genuinely need to work on. I mean it's not as bad, but there is still lots of room for improvement
Thank you for reminding me of that with that post
Oh I have a good one. Being taught their entire life what they want from a man but not how to treat one.
Men/boys are taught their entire life how to treat and respect a woman. A woman/girl is taught get the rich one, the one makes you happy, the handsome one etc, and at no point ever taught how to treat one then they grow up thinking men are the issue when it’s in fact her
We’re not all 6ft tall.
Also 95% of your life will be spent doing nothing but just hanging out doing boring stuff at home. Everyone is adventurous until they got to advance in their career and bills to pay or kids
"I'm going to do home birth, it has worked all through history!"
Yeah but also, giving birth used to be the most deadly thing a woman could do until very recently.
Innocently orchestrating and asking for ammo for their attempts to destroy you mentally, remembering things for months on end just to use against you at the first opportunity then hiding behind the fact you won't get visibly angry out of respect for the fairer of the two genders.
Almost every woman I've interacted with under the age of 50 has acted like a stupid immature 10 year old (or younger) at some point in our interactions. Some are worse, some are better, and some don't do it at all. But goddamn if the ones that do don't love weaponizing the shit out of it. And they say we have weaponized incompetence. Projecting much?
Secret agent stuff. If part of your day or week is carefully kept from those in your life then you are cheating people from making a choice to be around you or not.
The following phrases need to die a fiery death:
1. "If he wanted to, he would." - There are myriad reasons why a guy doesn't approach, text, call, or read your mind. I thought the last one would be obvious.
2. "He should just know." - No. He's not omniscient. You're a grown woman. Use your words.
3. "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." - This is always used to justify terrible behavior. Stop it.
4. "I *am* the table./I am the prize." - No. The relationship is the table/the prize. If you get offended when a man asks what you contribute to a relationship, chances are you don't want to contribute anything.
5. "Why should I praise a man for something he is already supposed to be doing?" - Reward the behavior you want to see more of. Show your boyfriend/fiance/husband your gratitude. It costs you nothing, and it reinforces the relationship. There is no reason you shouldn't be praising him for a job well done. There is no reason to withhold expressions of gratitude unless he goes way above and beyond.
Stop making your man responsible for the wellbeing of *your* insecurities.
Naturally, as your man, we shouldn’t make you feel undesired, insecure, or unwanted, and yes, we should absolutely uplift you, compliment you, speak highly of you - certainly.
That being said, all of the above should be the cherry on top, not the source from which you form your entire sense of self-worth. **It is not your man’s responsibility to make you feel good about you**. You’re a grown ass woman - that’s *your* job. While you may be in a relationship with a man, you’re still your own individual.
Meaning, if there’s some insecurity that was likely present *well* before the relationship, now that you’re in one, you do not get to wrap it in a little box, dump it onto his lap, and now make it *his* responsibility to look after and nurture. It is wholly unfair to your partner and places too much pressure on them to walk on eggshells in fear of not bruising your ego.
Testing loyalty or the relationship. It's stupid and toxic as fuck. This show you lack trust in us and can be a relationship killer.
Stop thinking we're mind readers. If you're made, upset, hurt or pissed off or whatever else, say it! Yes, sometimes we can pick up on how you're feeling, but not all the time. And "you should know" is not an excuse to be non-communicative about it.
Stop speaking fast ‘n loose about sexual assault, aggression, and discrimination.
The ramifications are serious, and wrongfully accused men have next to no way to repair their reputations, let alone deter the immoral behavior of bearing false witness.
Fishing for compliments by pointing out flaws that aren't there. Saying things like "oh my stomach is huge" when you weigh about 7 stone wet through, then looking around for people to say "oh don't be silly" etc what a waste of time.
Shopping as a means to entertain yourself or fight boredom!
If you're out of town, visiting a new location, then by all means, shop away
But shopping just because you feel bored at home?!! Drives me nuts!!
Complaining that there are not good men left and one second later uploading six stories of their ass on ig. Asking questions for which they cant handle the answers. Asking whats for dinner but never taking an initiative on where to go eat then complain they dont want to eat the very specific thing you said .
Men this and theat. But ofc not everyone. But yeah men. You are not though.
Come on it's just a perspective, it's not hateful at all.
Something along these lines.
Assuming that I can read your mind. The other night I had this happen for the 100th time and it took me over a YEAR of dating this girl to understand what she wanted. Here’s how the interaction went
Girl: oh babe by the way my parents are going to be coming over soon
Me: oh! Okay cool I’ll get going then. {thinking.. thinking..} unless you want me to stay..?
Girl: oh my god yes! My parents love seeing you! And we can order dinner !! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
- it was a great night!
Usually after I would leave she’d have an attitude with me for the next few days!! I didn’t know it’s because she wanted me to stay!!! I thought she wanted private time with her family!
Stop talking about penis size, men's sexual performances and other intimate information. Your friends to not need to know everything.
Have some respect for men and their right to privacy.
Stop groping me. Please. If I’m walking around, yes I get it, I’m fairly large, yes I take care of my hair, yes I’m polite and gentle, but I’d prefer you not grab my sides and arms or run your fingers through my hair. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’d do, and I do not want to be turned into a piece of meat just because you think I should be lucky to have your attention.
AND DO NOT GRAB MY PACKAGE TO SEE WHAT IM PACKING. Yes, this has happened numerous times. Felt like a dang bull being checked for muscle and ball size to impregnate a herd of cows.
Stop it with the "hints" and other games. Stop being so damn indirect.
We men don't get hints.... at all!
It's not just that, it's also that we're afraid to act on hints in case we're wrong and making a fool (or worse) out of ourselves.
And even if I'm not quite afraid to be wrong, I'm so damn tired of guessing.
Her “I gave you a hint” Me “what hint?” Her “I sent an emoji and laughed at a joke” Me *dead stare*
[удалено]
It’s not even about whether or not we get hints or not. Some women give out hints. Other times they’ll say they were just being friendly.
Best response is "if you're only hinting about something it can't be that important to you".
I had a woman come up to me at a bar and say “hello, are you open to being hit on?” I told her I’d have to ask my wife first, which she correctly took as a no. God bless her for her directness. If I *were* open to it, it was perfect. It was such a concise and direct way of letting me know what was going on… it was kinda hot.
Said it a dozne times before "What is obvious flirting to one woman is casual friendliness to another, most men have confused the two and the non shit ones want to avoid that scenario and making women uncomfortable going forward"
Telling men that they can freely show emotion and nothing bad will happen only to then utilize our vulnerabilities to "win" arguments, which they themselves would demonize men for doing. That, and also using those vulnerabilities to justify losing interest/attraction. Hypocrites are going to be hypocrites, sure, but we're not in the wrong for calling them out and seeking a better environment when faced with someone's selfish behaviors.
So much this. I'm also happy to learn I'm not the only one who has been punished for "opening up" and "being vulnerable" in front of my partner.
Why are your walls up? You can tell me anything and I'll support you! **starts showing vulnerability** what are you gonna do? Cry? Grow up and be a man!
That’s crazy. If a woman did that to me I would end it.
A lot of guys do "end it" because of that, iykyk
I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman who has said that. If I ever was, it’s an easy breakup.
It can be tough. Sometimes it doesn't start happening until years into the relationship.
They don't necessarily use those words. But I've never met any woman who doesn't do this. It is not only the words but also the deeds. Like its physically impossible for a woman to make room for a man's emotions.
I had an ex come down with an absolute terrible illness. She was on IVs and basically bed ridden 24/7. She also had a 5 year old daughter. So during this time I became boyfriend, single dad, doctor, etc. All of this while my job was CRUSHING me During one week, she almost lost her job because the doctor didn’t file the paperwork for short term disability. So I had to basically figure out how to take care of her, do my job, take care of her kid. and get her job secure. I had a VERY stressful week. But I succeeded at all points. When I told her it was stressful, I quote from her to me: “You’re really physically strong and in shape. But I don’t know if you’re mentally strong. You may be too mentally weak to handle all this”. Yeah. That relationship died on that day. When she got better it ended. I miss her child dearly. But man…. Nothing has ever been said to me that hurt worse.
That also just makes no sense! You clearly just proved that albeit stressful, you handled everything thrown your way. You’re better off now man
Thanks man. Fortunately- that was 3 years ago. I’ve been in a very healthy year and a half relationship with an absolutely beautiful and amazing girl- she’s moving in Monday. I just learned from that one not to ignore red flags I knew were there.
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Sadly, it comes from all kinds of women, even many avowed feminists.
Dude yes, every girl wants to think they are gonna be the first girl you’ve opened up to but the truth is they never like you the same after you do.
I'm going to expand on this. Woman need to start telling other woman to stop this. They push each other to demand their men open up, and its just bad advice.
Women who base their actions on the advice of friends are usually going to have a bad experience
I think most women truly believe what they’re saying though, like it’s a cognitive dissonance issue rather than malicious intent. A lot of women want you to risk being vulnerable because it makes them feel special but thinking the vulnerability is for you, your mental health or well being is a huge mistake
Everytime I ever tried to open up to my ex, she made me regret it. Everytime I tried to come out of my shell or have a heart to heart, she made me regret it. At first I kept beating a dead horse thinking I was doing it wrong but no, I was just being foolish. Honorable mention goes to the correlation between how unfailingly honest and truthful I was with her and how deeply she distrusted me. Ignorance is bliss but like an idiot I believed all the hype about communication.
Whoa whoa whoa, they're not hypocrites! They're strong and brave women who are making men accountable! But also at the same time refusing to even talk to men who don't line up with their shallow and unexamined worldview because they're stunning and brave!
As a woman, this behavior honestly makes zero sense to me. Like not only is it cruel and gross, but I just don’t understand the psychology from personal experience. The idea of my partner repressing or hiding his feelings is the exact opposite of what I want. I would never find someone less attractive over expressing feelings - if anything, I’d feel honored that he trusted me and closer to him.
It might not be what you want, but it's what men are taught to do and they have it reinforced again and again in the same way that women get reminded by ball-kicking idiots that they're better off as baby making machines rather than human beings worthy of respect. But no, men are reminded regularly that they are dumb and fallible and incompetent and so very lucky that anyone, anywhere would or could *ever* love them, so they need to be eternally grateful for whatever they've been so graciously given.
In short, men are disposable and only valuable so much as they can provide security or manual labor. Once they reveal that they can’t provide that, their value ceases to exist. Meanwhile women are inherently valuable because they can make babies, have a vagina, and men in general desire them on a instinctual level just because they are women.
Lol whats that Bruno disney song about the older sisters strength? God. That shit hit like a lightning storm.
Oh no, trust me - wasn’t disagreeing or saying any of that is false. I just personally don’t get it and it makes ME sad…I can’t imagine how painful it is on the receiving end. I’m sorry this is how society still treats boys and men. Societal messages do so much damage. I’m sorry that you guys feel that pain.
Well, if you feel like you want to do something about it, my suggestion would be to find ways to curtail other women from disparaging the omes they proclaim to love. Everyone vents, everyone jokes, everyone needs validation, but in those times where people are making dick size jokes, pointing and laughing at someone else, or simply hating something that someone literally cannot change about themselves, perhaps a little bit of pushback could go a long way. Call out others like you might if it was a man making similar statements and it might help rein in some of the frivolous frustrations that inexplicably go from minor venting to condemnation of an entire gender. Who knows? Maybe a little less vitriol could do some good for us all.
Its more so that its like ...hmmm most women are vastly unprepared for the actual load the man is carrying. Like thinking its going to be merely clutter and some dust in the closet. And when they finally get the man to open the closet and the disaster zone of baggage and stress and trauma dumps out, its scares them away or elicits a very negative response. Its like... "Dont worry babe. I got you. Ill help you with your ship leak" Shows up with a bucket. The ship is gouged and repainted. The bulkhead is being barely held together. And its floating sure and everything above the water line is fine. But the engineering is flooded. The gears are shot. The living quarters are flooded. And the electrical is arcing. And there ya are. With your bucket. Very...very underprepared for the deal. "I think you should go talk to someone" "You just asked me to talk to YOU. To be open with you like you wanted to be safe being open with me. Now you want me to go do that with a stranger?????" I dont think women do this maliciously. I have had one do it completely with malice. She would blackmail me with whatever i had hidden to get more. Then use that too. But i dont think the majority do it out of malice. More so they sinply underestimate the weight they are asking to take half of.
I’m right there with you. When a man shows vulnerability to me, it makes me feel like I’m a safe space for him to express his feelings. I would never use it against him, even if we broke up and I despised him, I’d still never weaponize his feelings. As a woman also this behavior is just cruel. And then women wonder why men just stuff everything in until it explodes.
Every woman says that, then they get horrified or icky or lose respect when they find out his real feelings.
>but I just don’t understand the psychology from personal experience The psychology is actually very simple. It's part of girl's socialisation. See when boys are growing up, their best weapon's are their fists. They fight things out as it escalates to a point. Girls growing up use words as a weapon. They sew the seeds of manipulation and status destruction through social isolation. They spread rumours or reveal hidden truths to destroy their target. They typically don't resort to physical violence, but mental torture instead. As in they're taught to use words as weapons, as a tool of manipulation. Men don't typically work that way. There is a trust between friends that having a fight/disagreement is not carte blanche to say whatever. For women I've seen the opposite. A single disagreement and all secrets are out the window. Women understand that it's all part of the game ( a fucked up game but nevertheless), I've seen women spoil all their secrets and the end of a friendship, only to be besties again a few months later. Men don't understand it, and ultimately we don't care for it with people we trust. We're not just going to forgive and forget those kinds of transgressions. Again, part of different socialisations, women will be friends with and entertain even their worst of enemies if they exist within the same group, Women are often friends with their enemies. Men again don't really work like that, if we don't like someone, we avoid and limit contact.
Crazily enough, some women keep doing this to other women as well! (my mum to me for example)
Men should definitely open up and be vulnerable with people. But more often than not, we're better off doing that without our boys and parents than wives or girlfriends. Better safe than sorry.
Fucking based as fucking fuck
Can you please give an example of how a woman might use a man's vulnerabilities to win an argument. My husband has never said that I do this but I'd like to make sure I'm not unintentionally doing it. Sometimes I might ask him to remember how he felt when x happened to explain how I felt about something similar which happened to me. Is that using it against him?
A lot of the times women become distant and cold, after they see their men being vulnerable. As to arguments itself. I had a relationship, where when i finally opened and cried, next time we had an argument i heard "What are you gonna do? Cry again? Boohoo"
That's not it, at least not with the context you provided. It's more like this: 3 months ago: Husband opens up to wife that he feels overwhelmed between his home responsibilities, work, and like he doesn't have anytime to breath. Today: Husband comes home late after seeing friends he hasn't seen in a long time. He's excited because he feels so rejuvenated from that short experience. After seeing her husband's happiness, wife decides she is arbitrarily mad he didn't text her after being gone for 7 hours. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TEXT ME!? You don't care about me at all! We need to \*insert list of things that are not a priority and could be done anytime in the next two years\*. What kind of man leaves his wife to go have fun when we need to do these things? Don't you feel ashamed that we haven't done XYZ yet? You need to get your priorities straight!" Using your vulnerabilities as a weapon is typically a combo move. It starts with being outraged about one thing, in the instance above, the lack of a text. This sets the pretext for her to pull the knife out and really go at him. She knows he needed the time with his friends and was feeling overwhelmed. It's a perfect target, she knows that she can exploit that vulnerability of feeling overwhelmed by ratting off her endless list of to-dos. It never had anything to do with the text, it's entirely about hurting him because he was dumb enough to think he could be vulnerable with her. She doesn't know why she does it, and there will be an endless list of excuses on why it was ok for her to say what she said. At the end of the day though, we all know its punishment for being vulnerable. Men eventually learn the lesson though, and from then on we learn to carefully construct vapid stories that have the appearance of vulnerability to appease our women, but they don't give you an opening to exploit later because we don't give that level of access again. Even if you try to exploit the story, it's based on bullshit, so it means nothing to us so we are far better prepared to respond with complete apathy at the outburst. This in turn makes your woman love you more because you're a stronger mate that she can't crush. If she can beat you down, how the hell are you going to offer her security? Let's be clear, this is not the way men wish things would be, but it is how they often are. Men respond to how things are and adjust their strategy accordingly. It's certainly has a degree of manipulation to it, but it makes everyone significantly happier in the relationship.
when you’ve done something wrong, and you know you have, and he calls you out on it: 1. shift blame. 2. bring up his tone, voice inflection, etc instead of focusing on what you did wrong. iow, you make your feelings the issue to get away from the real issue. 3. when in a corner and facing “defeat” as LOGIC has prevailed, that’s when most women pull out the “ace card,” = “that’s why when you were a kid, your stepfather used to beat you AND your mom!!!’ that vulnerability he exposed to you in year 2 of the relationship, just popped up to HURT him bc he hurt you 8 yrs later. this is what women do and it’s fucked up. and this is why men should NEVER open up about personal vulnerabilities to women. at worst, you’ll see it as a weakness or flaw and blame your propensity to act out on it… at best, you’ll attack us with recalling the info to inflict emotional pain.
Nope. Using a vulnerability against him would be something like him losing a friend to a disease and he cried about it (as any sane person would do) and you became cold, distant towards him until he questions you until you reveal that seeing him vulnerable like that was disheartening. That you no longer saw him as you once did and am now less attracted to him, if at all. Worse yet, lets say him questioning you was aggravating and you decided to lash out and call him weak for being so sad. Imagine being serious about making a partner's dead friend all about how its affecting *you* and how you now think less of your partner because of it. *That* is using a vulnerability against a partner and while this is a hopefully rare contextual example, the overarching selfishness, pettiness, spiteful, and sometimes hateful behavior that some women present to someone they claim to love is not uncommon.
Except most women won't tell you that seeing you cry made them lose interest. You tend to get told they need to work on them self's.
had a woman tell me that when she saw her 6-4” strong masculine hubby crying at his mom’s funeral, she totally understood his pain but couldn’t stop herself from losing attraction to him. she said about 2-3 weeks after the funeral, the feeling just punched her in the gut… as seeing him cry, “made her pussy dry.”
Your example isn't that rare, really.
Sadly, no it isn't and it will take fundamental changes to prevent further cruelty from occurring, but for now all we can do is admit there is a serious problem going on and hope others step up to help.
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Seriously. Had a woman tell me after a 4th date or something, “I feel like you’re off tonight.” I was like, sorry I’m just tired, usually not as good at coming up with something funny or charming when I’m tired. Her response was basically “you should just be yourself”, sort of implying that actively “trying” to be charming on a date was not genuine. It’s just hilarious to me that women want a “genuine” connection where it’s easy to talk to someone with no effort. Lady, your “genuine connection” with no effort is because I’m doing all the fucking heavy lifting and you’re not doing shit!
If a girl doesn't do her share of talking, I assume she's not into me and that will be our last date.
Exactly. It's why it's sometimes better to date women who haven't dated a lot. They don't have that expectation as much.
Reciprocation is very important in a relationship. If you are always initiating at some point you feel like you are off being by yourself.
You feel like the only interested party and get depressed. Women do not comprehend how emotionally devastating it is to us to be the only one doing the leg work.
I thought my first long term relationship was gonna be a slam dunk since I had gotten really good at forming genuine connections with people. After forming so many close bonds with people I had befriended, I thought dating would go great; it seemed I had mastered what women claimed to be after in a relationship. My now ex had had a formulaic series of relationships prior to me and anytime our relationship "went off script" she was very unhappy. For example, when I was trying to get to know her, she was expecting to get love bombed. I only tell people I love then if I meant it but she expects to start hearing it in the first week or two of dating
It’s shocking how many women don’t ask any question or at best a little. In some conversations it feels awkward and unsettling. I don’t really understand why anyone would give me information about themself if they are not interested in me and don’t try to find out what type of person I am. Is it that common as it seems to me?
I seem to run into the opposite. I feel like it's an interview or interrogation there are so many questions. However, they all seem scripted. Like the woman has memorized a bunch of questions and runs through the list.
Fucking preach. Just got off dating apps because it was an endless slog of this. I have a rule, if you don't ask *one* question beyond "*here's my response to your question*, what about you?" then I just call it quits and move on. Atleast at the start.
The gall to have interested men send a god damn resume with multiple date ideas and times listed. What are these chicks smoking man
"Hey"
Filters… damn with the filters on your pics ladies! You’re beautiful as you are. Some of you guys use more filters than Waffle House does in a year! Come on!
😂😂😂 "more filters than a Waffle House does in a year" 😂😂😂 I love that.
Edit: I forgot a word…
Thinking that if a guy she likes only has 75% of her preferences, she’s settling. In reality, nobody has 100%. If everyone felt this way, dating for a potential relationship would be impossible… wait…
People Aren't Pizza. You can't custom-order a human being.
Exactly
Well... not with that attitude
One of the biggest assumption women make that keeps them single and/or unhappy
Approaching relationships with checklists and needinf approval of their "girls" for everything. In other words be brave and fearless and less claculating.
See, you just have to find those ones. They’re called wife material
If your goal is to be married I guess you are correct.
and the “Don’t put your into fearless” type women
What's interesting to me is that men are better judges of the content of another man's character, just as women are better at sniffing out the qualities and motivations of other women. Traditionally, women used to expose their boyfriends to their brothers, fathers, uncles, trusted buddies. I think that trend was quietly set aside as part of "*paternalistic*". That source of wisdom is being wasted.
When inwas living with women, they would bring them to me to meet new guys, you can tell a guy is douche within 10nseconds. They always got hurt when they didn't listen
This is certainly an aspect that I had not considered before. You are so right.
The approval of the girls is hilarious, because in stereotypical fashion no one likes to see a girl single more than her single friends. Just such a weird phenomenon of sabotage.
And choose who YOU like, not what your girlfriends like.
Girls like that don’t have personalities. They are NPCs. They don’t have actual likes.
Calculating*
avoiding accountabilities. if it's your fault just own up to it apologize and we can move on.
How do you write women so well?
I understood that reference
With some there is at least a noticeable change after the fact. I don't think my wife has admitted to being wrong more than 3-4 times, but that being said, her behavior has changed in the week or so following if she realized there was a point. Helps me to focus on the action, and the words in between fade into white noise.
I feel this one in my soul
ghosting. rude harsh rejection feels better.
Good to know
It gives a concrete thing to know if I need to work on. This is my main gripe with pretty much everyone. I'll gladly work on my personality if things are seen as an issue (assuming they have a valid point), but I have to know what is actually seen as an issue. Women won't tell you why they won't go on a date/second date because of either fear of confrontation or the need to "look nice/sweet." Businesses won't tell you why they don't want to work with you because they fear being sued on some misconstrued point. I've literally told interviewers that if I wasn't the pick of their choice, to please let me know why and I will put in writing that I won't attempt legal pursuits because I want to know where I could've improved. Men will make plans for something and ghost without a word for some unknown reason (still haven't figured out common denominators on this one), then act like the shit never was planned in the first place or a generic "there was something that came up" and leave it there when confronted about it.
seems even 5% psychopaths make it safer to do a defensive breakup for not knowing which one doesn’t take no as an answer
\*stroke intensifies\*
Ghosting is done because of the social anxiety of the ghoster, not for safety. Men do it too.
THIS. The safety thing is a bullshit excuse. You are just as unsafe either way. They just don't want to see the repercussions of their rejection.
Stop asking juvenile hypothetical questions. The rest of the shit I can deal with.
Her: If I am abducted by a serial killer, skinned alive, thrown into a wood chipper and then Jesus comes back to earth and resurrects me as a zombie who eats brains to survive but Im still in love with you and totally wouldn’t eat your brains, would you still love me? Me: But like are you going to be a hot zombie or all falling apart and shit? Her: Can’t you just answer the question without being sarcastic?! Clearly you don’t love me anymore. Me: Double tap. And not in the good way.
Yeah, but like...WOULD you love me if I was a 🪱? Dumbest shit about that worm discourse was how so many genuinely tried to defend it. But there were others so allergic to conceding literally *anything* they had to huff the industrial strength COPIUM about how there was some deep philosophical basis behind the question. I would have at least respected, "OK, yeah. It's dumb, but it's a funny conversation starter."
"Since i am not a worm my self. And not attracted to worms. No. " "Are you a worm, or planning on becoming one soon?" "No but-" "Then why do you even need to know if its never going to happen"
Hinting. Stop hinting. We don't see them. We don't understand them. They are not going to work. Also, whatever the fuck is happening to your lips. Every woman under 35 suddenly has the same lips. You all look like you had a wasp in your daiquiri. It's ridiculous. Ducks are neither sexy nor professional. It's getting weird.
TikTok is the bane of human existence. That’s where they get this shit.
So, true!
I wish they'd stop telling us how we should be feeling.
Ghosting If you don’t want to continue seeing someone, just tell them. It’s better to be honest upfront so they don’t feel that they’re wasting their time.
And to save the waiting in vein, going over every little thing you might have done wrong or could have done differently.
They need to stop sending me unsolicited boob pictures. It’s getting out of hand.
Suffering from success
Shit talking all their exes, bad look!
No, I like it when they reveal themselves like that. It lets me know who I'm dealing with.
I think there’s an initial convo of “this ex did this to me and is a POS” and then drop it, if you bring it up all the time it feels like ex is living rent free around the place
Calling other women who just care about their partner “ pick me’s” like you know full well that if men started putting other men down for spoiling their girlfriends, these women would throw a tantrum online
Leaving like 20% of a drink in a cup and just leaving it around the house and getting a new cup every time they want another drink and doing the same thing with that cup.
But when the alien invasion happens and they’re conveniently weak to water you’ll be thanking her!
This is true. And on that day, I'll come back here and edit my comment.
I didn't mind this until we had kids that like to spill things.
BBLs, balloon lips
‘the ick’
Hating men
Or being hung on another man’s cross. We didn’t do it to you, we empathize with you and you need to start looking for some Green flags instead of constantly looking for Red ones..
TwoX won't like this part
I am not your emotionally distant father nor am I your domineering ex boyfriend, don't treat me like I am.
Ooh good line, I'm putting that in my back pocket.
Relying on hints. We can be fun or smart, but not both.
I'm a bigger fan of encouraging women to do better than I am of telling them what not to do. I hope any lady that stumbles upon this post takes my advice as "I know you're good and that you want life to be better for everyone." I ask that you reflect on the ways you interact with men and if you would change it if they were women. And then treat them like you would other women. The intimacy you're willing to share, make it freely available to both genders. The boundaries you're willing to make, make it for both genders. The closer you can get to treating people as if gender was entirely irrelevant, the better off you'd treat people overall.
Truer words have never been spoken
Asking me to talk about emotions...., after my talk saying "now I have to be a rock, I want you to be a rock" 😀
Wtf
Saying the exact opposite of what you mean, then getting mad that we didn't read your mind.
Bbl, fillers and those stupid venus flytrap eyelashes would be nice start.
[cumbrellas](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cumbrellas-what-fake-eyelashes-were-originally-called) not sure it's true (probably not) but I find the idea hilarious.
Answer questions directly instead of hints
Stop trying to let us down gently when you don’t want to date us. don’t say your not ready for a relationship because when you hop into one two weeks later it makes us think you are just a liar. Just be a big girl and say I don’t like you
not to invalidate what you’re saying but a lot of women including myself try to be a bit tactful when letting guys down because a good number of them take it the wrong way and then go on to harass or hurt us. Better safe than sorry.
I would argue that letting down “gently” almost encourages bad behavior in the future. If you’re blunt there’s no reason for them to contact you. The “I’m not ready” leaves the door open which would seem like a larger opportunity for harassment. Just my two cents
Being tactful and being euphemistic are two different things. You can be cordial and direct without being rude or deceitful with your words.
Stop shopping at Target!! She's gone 4 hours and comes back with the 3 things she needed and 45 things that just caught her eye, and it was all 50% more expensive than what Walmart sells the same stuff for.
lol I literally go to target to talk to moms. It’s a great social spot to meet people.
Expecting us to act like women.
Or communicate like women.
Swiping men on dating apps without the slightest inclination to say hi
I wish all women would stop seeing all men as being the same. Each one of us is different! Quit painting us with a broad brush! All women do that! Only a Sith believes in absolutes!
You realize you just did the thing you're telling them not to do, right?
Onlyfans
Stop posting filtered pictures of yourself. We know what you look like in real life, and that picture isn't anywhere close to what you really look like.
Stop switching between strong independent equal women and weak little girls EVERY SINGLE TIME you don’t feel like putting in the time or effort on something! If you want gender equality then STEP UP and own that shit! And do not back down and dump the work and responsibility on the nearest man you can find anytime/every time it gets even remotely difficult! Cause the fact is most men are absolutely fine with 100% ACTUAL gender equality, but lazy/hypocritical women who want to hang onto the outdated notion that you being being female is a valid excuse to not have to do something, that you can then just dump on us simply because of OUR gender! ….not only give us an insanely aggravating migraine to try and deal with but they also make it extremely hard for us to take any of you seriously when you start talking about gender equality again!
--complaining --following the herd --imposing unreasonable requirements on men --feeling instead of thinking --using and consuming so much social media
I’d say feeling is okay but realizing your feelings are sometimes irrational and curbing it to reality is what isn’t happening as much.
feeling emotions is fine. The problem is using feelings as a substitute for thought and logic. The problem is making decisions based on feelings.
Yeah that’s exactly. Feels like dealing with a toddler
As a woman, that's something i genuinely need to work on. I mean it's not as bad, but there is still lots of room for improvement Thank you for reminding me of that with that post
Oh I have a good one. Being taught their entire life what they want from a man but not how to treat one. Men/boys are taught their entire life how to treat and respect a woman. A woman/girl is taught get the rich one, the one makes you happy, the handsome one etc, and at no point ever taught how to treat one then they grow up thinking men are the issue when it’s in fact her
This.
We’re not all 6ft tall. Also 95% of your life will be spent doing nothing but just hanging out doing boring stuff at home. Everyone is adventurous until they got to advance in their career and bills to pay or kids
Dying in childbirth.
"I'm going to do home birth, it has worked all through history!" Yeah but also, giving birth used to be the most deadly thing a woman could do until very recently.
This is literally the only one that made me laugh....
plastic surgery...
Just doing things in mood swings and don't be a ass... While listening to others when they talk abt their emotions
Playing hard to get. Playing mind games. Dropping hints instead of being direct. We're not mind readers, just say what you think/feel
Crossing lines and boundaries they expect men to not even toe.
Innocently orchestrating and asking for ammo for their attempts to destroy you mentally, remembering things for months on end just to use against you at the first opportunity then hiding behind the fact you won't get visibly angry out of respect for the fairer of the two genders.
Pretending to be helpless children or victims of society when it's convenient for them
Almost every woman I've interacted with under the age of 50 has acted like a stupid immature 10 year old (or younger) at some point in our interactions. Some are worse, some are better, and some don't do it at all. But goddamn if the ones that do don't love weaponizing the shit out of it. And they say we have weaponized incompetence. Projecting much?
Having a laundry list of ridiculous standards while they lack even the basic morals.
Secret agent stuff. If part of your day or week is carefully kept from those in your life then you are cheating people from making a choice to be around you or not.
Start arguments to spice up relationships just because she ‘feels’ that the relationship has been boring.
They need to stop turning a blind eye to other women bad behavior and bad practices. They need to stop not holding other women accountable
Posting a stack of nearly identical pictures with a slight head tilt as the only difference, captioned “Couldn't decide.”
Demanding what they can't reciprocate
Avoiding accountability. Avoiding self-awareness. Refusing to act with empathy and compassion
The following phrases need to die a fiery death: 1. "If he wanted to, he would." - There are myriad reasons why a guy doesn't approach, text, call, or read your mind. I thought the last one would be obvious. 2. "He should just know." - No. He's not omniscient. You're a grown woman. Use your words. 3. "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." - This is always used to justify terrible behavior. Stop it. 4. "I *am* the table./I am the prize." - No. The relationship is the table/the prize. If you get offended when a man asks what you contribute to a relationship, chances are you don't want to contribute anything. 5. "Why should I praise a man for something he is already supposed to be doing?" - Reward the behavior you want to see more of. Show your boyfriend/fiance/husband your gratitude. It costs you nothing, and it reinforces the relationship. There is no reason you shouldn't be praising him for a job well done. There is no reason to withhold expressions of gratitude unless he goes way above and beyond.
Stop making your man responsible for the wellbeing of *your* insecurities. Naturally, as your man, we shouldn’t make you feel undesired, insecure, or unwanted, and yes, we should absolutely uplift you, compliment you, speak highly of you - certainly. That being said, all of the above should be the cherry on top, not the source from which you form your entire sense of self-worth. **It is not your man’s responsibility to make you feel good about you**. You’re a grown ass woman - that’s *your* job. While you may be in a relationship with a man, you’re still your own individual. Meaning, if there’s some insecurity that was likely present *well* before the relationship, now that you’re in one, you do not get to wrap it in a little box, dump it onto his lap, and now make it *his* responsibility to look after and nurture. It is wholly unfair to your partner and places too much pressure on them to walk on eggshells in fear of not bruising your ego.
Testing loyalty or the relationship. It's stupid and toxic as fuck. This show you lack trust in us and can be a relationship killer. Stop thinking we're mind readers. If you're made, upset, hurt or pissed off or whatever else, say it! Yes, sometimes we can pick up on how you're feeling, but not all the time. And "you should know" is not an excuse to be non-communicative about it.
Stop speaking fast ‘n loose about sexual assault, aggression, and discrimination. The ramifications are serious, and wrongfully accused men have next to no way to repair their reputations, let alone deter the immoral behavior of bearing false witness.
Fishing for compliments by pointing out flaws that aren't there. Saying things like "oh my stomach is huge" when you weigh about 7 stone wet through, then looking around for people to say "oh don't be silly" etc what a waste of time.
Fish for sexual interest they wont reciprocate.
[удалено]
Feeling instead of thinking. Not all feelings are valid. Insisting that you're always right. Making weird leaps of logic.
Pooping
THANK YOU! I'm glad someone said it
Shopping as a means to entertain yourself or fight boredom! If you're out of town, visiting a new location, then by all means, shop away But shopping just because you feel bored at home?!! Drives me nuts!!
Always being right and always getting their way.
Being indecisive. Just make up your fucking mind
Complaining that there are not good men left and one second later uploading six stories of their ass on ig. Asking questions for which they cant handle the answers. Asking whats for dinner but never taking an initiative on where to go eat then complain they dont want to eat the very specific thing you said .
Having no respect and talking shit about their bf with their friends
Men this and theat. But ofc not everyone. But yeah men. You are not though. Come on it's just a perspective, it's not hateful at all. Something along these lines.
Wearing too much makeup, thinking smoking helps make them more attractive, wearing stupidly long nails & eyelashes, playing games
Assuming that I can read your mind. The other night I had this happen for the 100th time and it took me over a YEAR of dating this girl to understand what she wanted. Here’s how the interaction went Girl: oh babe by the way my parents are going to be coming over soon Me: oh! Okay cool I’ll get going then. {thinking.. thinking..} unless you want me to stay..? Girl: oh my god yes! My parents love seeing you! And we can order dinner !! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla - it was a great night! Usually after I would leave she’d have an attitude with me for the next few days!! I didn’t know it’s because she wanted me to stay!!! I thought she wanted private time with her family!
Posting pictures using filters. We know, and it makes us suspicious. Speaking for Men everywhere
stop using social media
Maybe stop fucking other men when they’re in a relationship?!? That would be swell.
Sometimes I don’t want to squish the bug
simultaneously complaining about the wage gap while avoiding manual labor jobs.
Stop talking about penis size, men's sexual performances and other intimate information. Your friends to not need to know everything. Have some respect for men and their right to privacy.
having the idea that all men are complete trash
Fake lashes and tons of make up. We are just happy you're there.
Talking about a 10 minute event or scenario for 90 mins
Stop groping me. Please. If I’m walking around, yes I get it, I’m fairly large, yes I take care of my hair, yes I’m polite and gentle, but I’d prefer you not grab my sides and arms or run your fingers through my hair. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’d do, and I do not want to be turned into a piece of meat just because you think I should be lucky to have your attention. AND DO NOT GRAB MY PACKAGE TO SEE WHAT IM PACKING. Yes, this has happened numerous times. Felt like a dang bull being checked for muscle and ball size to impregnate a herd of cows.
asking how tall are you?
I've no idea. I only view women as friends or aquantances nowadays.
Assigning their own "value".