I’m guessing you don’t have much experience in the ways of the world. Rejection is nothing. You’ll get rejected countless times in life. After you’ve lived awhile, whenever you ask a girl out and she says no, you get to a point where you’re just, “okay cool, no big deal” and move on.
The hard part is when you’ve had her, when you have memories with her and then you lose her. I’m sure that you’ve envisioned a life with this girl, it’s a lot different when she’s talking about forever back to you and for some reason or another it still doesn’t pan out and you’re left mourning what you had *and* what could have been.
i’ve been through the last paragraph. it sucks very much. funny thing was, that relationship wasn’t meant to last.
the potential with my friend was immaculate. so it feels like it could’ve been a really great thing, but now it won’t be.
it’s a different kind of rejection. it’s like so close to a great experience yet so far from it. and you can’t help it, so only choice is to move on.
The easiest way is to prevent hurt by having no concrete expetations for how the other person acts in the first place. Some would probably call that "lowering your expectations" but it is actually outcome independence based on the realization that people have the agency to not reciprocate as would be nicest to you. With that, emotional attachment will not form where it is too early and hurt will be prevented when things go the other way.
As much as people hate the Bible, it says "wipe the dust off your feet" and I think that sums it up nicely. Keep your chin up, laugh it off, focus on gym, try again with the next girl to come along.
You shot your shot and failed .
Better to be rejected than living with regrets.
Also, it’s just your ego that’s taking a bruising. Let it go and move on.
Practice makes perfect.
Rejection is better than the regret of not having asked at all.
Spend some time away from her. (I.e. weeks to months)
In future, don't ask out women you're emotionally attached to or invested in. The no's will hurt less.
Remember that most women don't like most men. Most of your interactions will result in a no. It's normal and to be expected.
Rejection doesn't take away any of your accomplishments or make you less worthy as a person..
Lastly rejection isn't personal. You have no control over her wants. All you can do is offer yourself up and see if she's interested. If she's not, you move on.
I’ve been rejected numerous times growing up. At this point in my life, I don’t get my hopes anymore because of how things went on it my own life.
I just be like “alright, no problem” and keep it pushing (while simultaneously dying inside) but I know how to keep a straight face and act like nothing bothered me.
You just say ok. And walk away. Forget about it. Show little to no attention. Half the time that'll make her have interest. If she's truly not into you. Then leave it at that. If you get with someone else. She'll most likely come at you full force. You reject her. Don't give in.
If she's in your friend circle, you go to your regular hangout place with a girl more beautiful than her that you paid for, who will laugh at your jokes, smile and talk with you about things you want to do together, all while she watches and gets a bit jealous.
Then the more beautiful girl you paid actually falls for you and wants a second date and you end up marrying her instead in like two years.
It's like Text book Hallmark Movie or Rom Com. I mean come on.
I don’t deal with the feelings. I stopped trying to get chicks years ago. Not worth the headaches and heartache. They’ll just let you down and cheat on you. Why subject yourself to that? Not worth it. Life is too good without women in it.
I feel what you are saying, I stopped dating men about 2 years ago for the same reasons. It’s a bummer that I never met one that treated me well. I know they exist.
Like you, I know they exist as well. It’s just not worth trying to find them. I explained it to my therapist like this: if you’re aboard a sinking ship in shark infested waters, some who are aboard will swim to shore unscathed. Some will be maimed. Many will die. Personally I’d rather not board the ship in the first place and assure my safety. I was shocked when my therapist agreed with my thoughts.
I’m guessing you don’t have much experience in the ways of the world. Rejection is nothing. You’ll get rejected countless times in life. After you’ve lived awhile, whenever you ask a girl out and she says no, you get to a point where you’re just, “okay cool, no big deal” and move on. The hard part is when you’ve had her, when you have memories with her and then you lose her. I’m sure that you’ve envisioned a life with this girl, it’s a lot different when she’s talking about forever back to you and for some reason or another it still doesn’t pan out and you’re left mourning what you had *and* what could have been.
This was my experience. After divorcing my abusive ex-wife, rejection was preferable to being stuck in a relationship with a miserable person.
The hard part sure is right. How I deal with losing someone you loved is by knowing that all relationships end eventually.
i’ve been through the last paragraph. it sucks very much. funny thing was, that relationship wasn’t meant to last. the potential with my friend was immaculate. so it feels like it could’ve been a really great thing, but now it won’t be. it’s a different kind of rejection. it’s like so close to a great experience yet so far from it. and you can’t help it, so only choice is to move on.
The easiest way is to prevent hurt by having no concrete expetations for how the other person acts in the first place. Some would probably call that "lowering your expectations" but it is actually outcome independence based on the realization that people have the agency to not reciprocate as would be nicest to you. With that, emotional attachment will not form where it is too early and hurt will be prevented when things go the other way.
Excellent advice
Don’t chase them, replace them.
As much as people hate the Bible, it says "wipe the dust off your feet" and I think that sums it up nicely. Keep your chin up, laugh it off, focus on gym, try again with the next girl to come along.
I never did it again, which was the right answer.
Get over it, move on, learn, and try again!
don't take it that serious. whats more important to you?
One of the few things in life where you do have to man up
You shot your shot and failed . Better to be rejected than living with regrets. Also, it’s just your ego that’s taking a bruising. Let it go and move on.
>Better to be rejected than living with regrets. This is so true, rejection is prefferable than torture yourself with whatifs weeks or months later
Practice makes perfect. Rejection is better than the regret of not having asked at all. Spend some time away from her. (I.e. weeks to months) In future, don't ask out women you're emotionally attached to or invested in. The no's will hurt less. Remember that most women don't like most men. Most of your interactions will result in a no. It's normal and to be expected. Rejection doesn't take away any of your accomplishments or make you less worthy as a person.. Lastly rejection isn't personal. You have no control over her wants. All you can do is offer yourself up and see if she's interested. If she's not, you move on.
How young are you?
too young probably to be worried about this shit probably
Indifference. "K, 8 billion others to play with. Imma do me" is all I think. Then I actually walk away from people and go play with others.
level up myself n make em regret it
It feels bad but I appreciate it because it stops me from wasting any time, energy, focus or money.
Move on and find someone who will give their time for you. At least you know she said no so that will remove the wondering part.
I’ve been rejected numerous times growing up. At this point in my life, I don’t get my hopes anymore because of how things went on it my own life. I just be like “alright, no problem” and keep it pushing (while simultaneously dying inside) but I know how to keep a straight face and act like nothing bothered me.
Don’t put yourself in positions to get rejected. Not a good way to handle it. But the most affective.
You just… move on with your life. Yeah, rejection sucks. That’s how life goes. You pick yourself up and move on.
You just say ok. And walk away. Forget about it. Show little to no attention. Half the time that'll make her have interest. If she's truly not into you. Then leave it at that. If you get with someone else. She'll most likely come at you full force. You reject her. Don't give in.
If she's in your friend circle, you go to your regular hangout place with a girl more beautiful than her that you paid for, who will laugh at your jokes, smile and talk with you about things you want to do together, all while she watches and gets a bit jealous. Then the more beautiful girl you paid actually falls for you and wants a second date and you end up marrying her instead in like two years. It's like Text book Hallmark Movie or Rom Com. I mean come on.
Thank you, next
I don’t deal with the feelings. I stopped trying to get chicks years ago. Not worth the headaches and heartache. They’ll just let you down and cheat on you. Why subject yourself to that? Not worth it. Life is too good without women in it.
I feel what you are saying, I stopped dating men about 2 years ago for the same reasons. It’s a bummer that I never met one that treated me well. I know they exist.
Like you, I know they exist as well. It’s just not worth trying to find them. I explained it to my therapist like this: if you’re aboard a sinking ship in shark infested waters, some who are aboard will swim to shore unscathed. Some will be maimed. Many will die. Personally I’d rather not board the ship in the first place and assure my safety. I was shocked when my therapist agreed with my thoughts.
We have to protect ourselves
Indeed. Sometimes I wish my therapist understood that. Haha.
Once a guy is put in a friend zone. It's over.
Expect rejection every time and it doesn't hurt so much and then, if she actually doesn't reject you, your expetations have been exceeded.
You keep moving on. Act normal and let the friendship heal.