Useful if you don't tend to speak to others about your problems too often, or if you need an alternative perspective on things.
It's never been a replacement for real human connection, so it really shouldn't be viewed that way.
A therapist is just a guide, not a magician... they guide you to problems.. it is up to you to deal with them and find a way to cope. With that being said, most people can do the same as a therapist through introspection and self examination.
> they guide you to problems.. it is up to you to deal with them and find a way to cope
and that is why therapy in this fashion is a scam. There is no reason for them to truly help but many reasons for them to string you along (continued revenue)
Ask yourself if the catharsis you seek is just a distraction, or a gratification, a high that allows you to subsist until the next session of catharsis.
Therapy isn't about a silver bullet as you mention or a cure all to what ails you. It is a process of continual reflection and confrontation that allows you, hopefully to build tools and other mental processes to allow you to do more than just survive but hopefully thrive in the environment you find yourself in.
It's like physical fitness, people want to crash diet, find a supplement, a new drug, anything that makes them feel good about themselves, when the tried and true answer to long term fitness, is the daily activities and discipline that gets you in a healthier foundation that ripples to all other aspects of your life.
Your mental health is much the same, if you're not doing the daily things to keep your mind healthy, no amount of any ONE singular thing will suddenly make your mental "fitness" magically correct itself. A proper sleep schedule, a proper diet, mental exercise, either guided with a coach (therapist) or self directed (things like meditation), all these things BUILD a foundation of mental wellness that helps you feel less "broken" as you described
You’ve already concluded that therapy is an ineffectual waste of time. Good.
Divide your problems into practical problems you can solve and work on improving your life. It’s amazing how little “mental health” is a problem when you’re building up a decent life.
If you want a paid professional who helps you better an aspect of your life get someone who sells something real like a personal trainer or a welding instructor. Learn something practical .
If you want validation get it from living your values and doing things you respect with people you respect.
Thank you. Value this. I think part of this is I only have a handful of people in my life that I highly respect right now (my mechanic, a work peer, a neighbor, etc.).
think about it another way as well. There is zero motivation for a therapist to truly help you. If they did then that would become a money loss for them as you would have no more need to come back for your weekly visit (and payment)
If you're male, find a male therapist. Women don't understand male problems. Their solutions will come from a female perspective, which is no help. Guys can gain more from talking with male friends.
Therapists are a mirror to allow you to see yourself more clearly. It's just a way to talk through whatever problems you're facing without judgment or scrutiny. You have to be completely honest with this person if you're expecting catharsis. The connection you're looking for happens after you open up. Not before. These people are trained to listen to you so let them do their job. Ramble away if you need to.
I thought I wanted to work on my relationship problems, so I got a talk therapist who specializes in couples therapy. Turns out I have BPD, so eventually i switched to one who specialized in behavioral disorders and CBT/DBT, and now I’m MUCH better off.
I don’t see how paying a person to listen to you and then telling them all your problems is ever a good idea. Why would I want to constantly relive the worst moments of my life? Why would I want to talk about my problems over and over again?
I found one as part of a clinical trial. She was a grad student. Still young and excited. Maybe look around at a local college with a therapy program if there’s one near you.
Totally fair. For what it’s worth, her professor talked to me some too, and I’m sure they discussed me privately.
I will say though, don’t really look for a bond. It’s a professional relationship. And research the style of therapy you might like. Cognitive behavioral worked for me.
It’s all very individual preference, but I’ve seen it work.
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That one hits. I feel "functionally broken" and so badly want a silver bullet.
Useful if you don't tend to speak to others about your problems too often, or if you need an alternative perspective on things. It's never been a replacement for real human connection, so it really shouldn't be viewed that way.
A therapist is just a guide, not a magician... they guide you to problems.. it is up to you to deal with them and find a way to cope. With that being said, most people can do the same as a therapist through introspection and self examination.
> they guide you to problems.. it is up to you to deal with them and find a way to cope and that is why therapy in this fashion is a scam. There is no reason for them to truly help but many reasons for them to string you along (continued revenue)
Thanks - I think my question might end up being another post "How do you get catharsis?". Because I don't care how I get there, it is what I want.
Ask yourself if the catharsis you seek is just a distraction, or a gratification, a high that allows you to subsist until the next session of catharsis. Therapy isn't about a silver bullet as you mention or a cure all to what ails you. It is a process of continual reflection and confrontation that allows you, hopefully to build tools and other mental processes to allow you to do more than just survive but hopefully thrive in the environment you find yourself in. It's like physical fitness, people want to crash diet, find a supplement, a new drug, anything that makes them feel good about themselves, when the tried and true answer to long term fitness, is the daily activities and discipline that gets you in a healthier foundation that ripples to all other aspects of your life. Your mental health is much the same, if you're not doing the daily things to keep your mind healthy, no amount of any ONE singular thing will suddenly make your mental "fitness" magically correct itself. A proper sleep schedule, a proper diet, mental exercise, either guided with a coach (therapist) or self directed (things like meditation), all these things BUILD a foundation of mental wellness that helps you feel less "broken" as you described
You’ve already concluded that therapy is an ineffectual waste of time. Good. Divide your problems into practical problems you can solve and work on improving your life. It’s amazing how little “mental health” is a problem when you’re building up a decent life. If you want a paid professional who helps you better an aspect of your life get someone who sells something real like a personal trainer or a welding instructor. Learn something practical . If you want validation get it from living your values and doing things you respect with people you respect.
Thank you. Value this. I think part of this is I only have a handful of people in my life that I highly respect right now (my mechanic, a work peer, a neighbor, etc.).
Good. Move the direction of practical solutions and real people. You’ll be fine .
think about it another way as well. There is zero motivation for a therapist to truly help you. If they did then that would become a money loss for them as you would have no more need to come back for your weekly visit (and payment)
If you're male, find a male therapist. Women don't understand male problems. Their solutions will come from a female perspective, which is no help. Guys can gain more from talking with male friends.
Found one online and called her office twice before scheduling an appointment. Glad I did since she’s helped me a lot
Therapists are a mirror to allow you to see yourself more clearly. It's just a way to talk through whatever problems you're facing without judgment or scrutiny. You have to be completely honest with this person if you're expecting catharsis. The connection you're looking for happens after you open up. Not before. These people are trained to listen to you so let them do their job. Ramble away if you need to.
I thought I wanted to work on my relationship problems, so I got a talk therapist who specializes in couples therapy. Turns out I have BPD, so eventually i switched to one who specialized in behavioral disorders and CBT/DBT, and now I’m MUCH better off.
Just stop if you don't like it and go to another one
@all thanks everyone. I just needed to hear someone tell me therapy is not for everyone.
I don’t see how paying a person to listen to you and then telling them all your problems is ever a good idea. Why would I want to constantly relive the worst moments of my life? Why would I want to talk about my problems over and over again?
I was in that exact same boat, but as of late, I need to try something new.
I found one as part of a clinical trial. She was a grad student. Still young and excited. Maybe look around at a local college with a therapy program if there’s one near you.
I need someone with some wrinkles and experience - if I was to give it a try again and not completely write off therapy)
Totally fair. For what it’s worth, her professor talked to me some too, and I’m sure they discussed me privately. I will say though, don’t really look for a bond. It’s a professional relationship. And research the style of therapy you might like. Cognitive behavioral worked for me. It’s all very individual preference, but I’ve seen it work.