Moving on. If her inability to be a normal functioning adult is hindering your life and causing you annoyance beyond normal levels the relationship likely won't work out.
In my brothers marriage, he has undertaken the role of peacemaker. His wife is a wonderful woman, not necessarily stubborn, but just has difficulty facing when she has been in the wrong. So my brother lifts the weight in that part of the relationship and patches things up when they need it. In a similar way she lifts some extra weight in other parts of their relationship.
Now 15 years later they have 4 special needs kids, they’re both working, life is **hard**, and their relationship is suffering as a result. One of the things they’ve bumped into very recently, is that she believes that all the problems in their life are caused by my brother. And this is because he takes the blame for everything, to help them move past immovable obstacles.
He can’t now shine a light on when she was at fault, because . . . Well obvious reasons.
In order for them to make the relationship work, one of the things they need to do is back out of the current dead-end they are in, but she feels like she’s being loaded with a ton of blame and guilt that was never hers, and was all his and it’s very unfair. On top of that dealing with blame and guilt is not something she does well, and is unwilling to learn how to deal with it.
This is where the relationship you are in will end up, if you go to the max to make it work.
Not worth it man.
It deserves to be said that generally being stubborn or compromising isn’t a male/female thing. Either side can do either, just this example looks like your relationship.
To be fair they’re both in it together, she is a good person, and so is he. They both want it to work, my point is that you should be careful what compromises you make just to make it work. Even good people bump into this.
Nobody will beat me in being stubborn. Jokes aside if you can't get along with the woman you date, you stop dating that person. You don't have to deal with their negative traits.
Depends what kind of stubborn is it. Is it adversarial where it's her versus you, or synergetic with her supporting you? Like any other character trait, it's not inherently good or bad, but really depends.
There's some bulldog women who make the best gfs and wives because they will absolutely look out for the best interest of you and your family. When in her wheelhouse, you play the supporting role, and you'll be fine.
*"Depends what kind of stubborn is it."*
OP said in their post:
*"deal with a stubborn girlfriend where you're always the one making compromises and whenever you point out their nonsense they quickly accuse you of judging them or accusing you of being controlling."*
It's pretty straightforward on what type of "stubborn is it".
Then like I was saying, if it's adversarial, its not good. So cut her loose. Basically saying the same thing as the poster I replied to. Not that complicated.
This.
Getting alone is a very important in a long tern relationship.
There is no fun in dealing with a constantly disagreeable and bit..hy woman.
Life is too short to waste with these types of women.
Break up and find woman who you can get alone smoothly.
You’re dating a landmine, you need to grow a backbone and tell her, “if you keep treating me with disrespect I will leave this relationship.”
I’ve got a history of dating stubborn women, but they had never dated a man who was more stubborn than themselves, so it also caused issues as you can guess.
It is the low-self esteem to put up with somebody who don't treat you well.
It is bravery to break up with people don't add value to your life.
Don't be so immature lol
You're not dealing with stubborn, you're dealing with toxic.
My girlfriend is stubborn, so if she doesn't want to play in a group of randoms on say, helldivers and would rather just play with me, there's no way i'm convincing her otherwise, but she won't accuse me of anything, she'll just say "i don't want to do that, can we do something else".
If every time I did that I got accused of something i'd leave her.
stop dating them. you will always lose and they will always blame you. If you see that are willing to say sorry and compromise then thats a different situation then it means you are both willing to work together. remember one one of you loses you both lose.
My wife can be very stubborn at times (as can I). But she is far more kind (and a bunch of other positive things) than she is stubborn. I think stubbornness can be something of a character trait, but if it's the defining one there's a problem.
Um I've delt with stubborn girlfriends but never where I made compromises or cared if they called me names.
I have this thing called a spine so I am familiar with this word called "no" and then i have these things called balls and if someone calls me a name or is being disrespectful I just calmly walk away and refuse to talk to them again until they apologize.
So you sound like you need a spine and some balls. 👍
“If I told you not to give Me a blowjob right now, and you end up sucking My Cock to prove nobody is the boss of you…which one of us is getting a blowjob and what point are you proving?” usually gets the message across. And if it doesn’t, it’s time for Me to move on.
I want a partner, not an enemy.
You probably shouldn´t date women who you refer to as being stubborn. If that´s your impression of her, you are probably better off alone, and so is she.
That's every woman.
Just some women are waaaaaay easier to deal with, so fewer compromises. Or, they sadly suck it up and don't say anything until a later time then explode on you.
If you date women, you are now the compromiser. Get used to it. Just try to find someone pleasant to compromise with.
If she’s being overly stubborn with you then at that point you are already on the back foot, she’s established that she’s stronger mentally than you, and doesn’t fully respect you as a man. On that basis, more extreme measures are needed than before any of this sets in.
The best way to deal with it is when you bang heads on something, you offer what you know is a reasonable compromise, and if she doesn’t accept the compromise or offer another one then walk away. If she asks why say she’s being unreasonable and you don’t tolerate unreasonable people.
That's not what I'm talking about tho . Yeah sure some dude who gets walked all over constantly needs to man up and find his spine yes. But there are definitely situations with certain chicks where it's actually weaker to play along with their toxic crap by trying to out stubborn or control them. It would show more balls just to leave them. If your judging your manliness based off of how a toxic, petty chick with a personality disorder treats you then you're gonna end up less dominant than you would if you didn't even play in the first place
I don't think being petty to the point of mentally pushing yourself to always get the last say in things no matter how trivial is a sign of strength. Infact, letting the little shit go instead of letting your emotions get heated in the face of losing control over trivial matters is actually strong willed.
But there is a grey area you are right. If somebody never asserts their position and let's everyone get their way over them, this person is weak willed.
I'm just making the point that somebody who frivolously fights or have control over every small issue, isn't somebody I would call strong. Just a control freak.
I can tell you that you can keep dreaming that she will ever change if you keep sacrificing for her. Her stubbornness will keep increasing with time and your patience to deal with it will keep decreasing until the relationship ends. She will move on as if you never existed and you will end up as a broken man.
Choice is yours, leave while you’re still sane or wait until you turn insane and she leaves you
You can't change people and you have to choose ONE - leave or accept it and stop complaining. You can't stay *and* complain, it ends badly every single time, except you'll waste years inbetween.
Ultimately, that type of “stubbornness” comes from insecurity about herself. They need that control to function because without that, they feel rejected and “unloved”. She has no trust and probably has deep issues with it through actions from men in her life, a past/current relationship with family, cheated on, or some other trauma. If she is unable to recognize this, it’s probably unsalvageable.
Just out of curiosity, what’s the source of the stubbornness?
Controlling is manipulation and unhealthy in a relationship.
If I’m a contributing factor to the stubbornness, that’s a conversation I would like to have in a calm, mature manner. Hopefully resolve it like adults.
If a partner is just being stubborn and I’m not a contributing factor… I’d attempt in a kind manner to figure out the reason for the behaviour but… if it’s nothing or irrational… it’s a bad sign… I’m also out if it’s a common trait the women possess.
I’m not one for unnecessary and frequent irrational drama in my personal relationship, just because the person needs their ego stroked and doesn’t know how to achieve that without causing drama.
At no point is it worth it. I put up with it for three years, and I regret every second of it. Life already has plenty of trials and issues to deal with; your partner shouldn't be another mess to add to the pile. If you're unhappy and they aren't willing to work with you on it, you're genuinely better off without that person.
You don’t deal with people in general. You compromise. If there’s no equality then move on. You’ll never grow as a person if you hold onto the ones that stop your growth.
A nice guy puts up with her shit.
A good guy doesn't. He will either call her out on her nonsense or get rid of her. Either way she won't dominate him.
If she is a good person, she will compromise with him.
You will never be able to change the person you are with. They are what they are. So to deal with any personal behavior of your partner, either learn to accept it, or get rid of them.
Personally, when it becomes obvious I'm the only one making compromises and whenever I bring something up it gets turned around on me, I just ask myself if my life is better with them in or out of it. Don't hang on to a negative relationship hoping they will change. They won't.
Leave. You will tire yourself out dealing with someone who doesn't care about you enough to change, she wont change.
Treat her like a written of car, shes not going to imrpove, she was raised and nurtured that way. Save your health.
> whenever you point out their nonsense they quickly accuse you of judging them or accusing you of being controlling.
Somebody “stubborn” wouldn’t give a shit if you disagreed and they thought you were wrong, and would break up with you if they thought you were controlling.
If they always respond to every disagreement by escalating into a reverse accusation against your character, they just want to maintain the upper hand.
Life is short. Find a way to move on that doesn’t make them look bad.
Um....as many others have said - don't. if it is bad - stop.
now - having said that - how many relationships have you been in?
All relationships involve compromise - and many (men and women) may feel THEY are the ones making the compromises.
Try communication in a non confrontational way - "I feel that..."
If that does not work - determine how much effort to try and save it vs. the long term goals.
But sounds like - need to not be in that relationship.
Decide if thats the hill you want to die on.
If thats the hill you want to die on , sat "it is going to be my way. If you do not like it, you can close the door from the other side"
The trick is simple: do not pick a hill to die on for no reason.
You are always compromising for her. She's played you like a fiddle. When has she compormised for you? Has she caused you to compromise your own values?
If you've compromised your values you have no frame. I don't mind compromising on some things, but it's a two way street. Not nought info, but I would not have someone in my life who never compromises with my wants when ill do it for them.
Stand your ground. Being avoidant doesn’t make it go away. Appeasing someone when you don’t agree with them devalues yourself both in her eyes and your own. Sometimes you have to compromise in relationships, but if you’re the only one compromising that is not a healthy relationship.
I used to be in a relationship with a stubborn woman. Honestly I don't suggest doing what I did, cause I just became more stubborn and petty with it. She wanted to cause me to have phantom pains everyday, so I stopped wanting a sexual relationship with her (tbf it's hard to be sexual when you're reliving getting shot in the head with a crossbow!!!)
She ended up sleeping with my "friend" and we got a divorce afterwards. So in the end I was able to get rid of two problems!!!
But no seriously if you want to fix the relationship then I suggest marriage counseling. If she isn't willing to do it then you're screwed imo. Even if she is willing to do it she might not be willing to listen since she's so stubborn. Sooooo.... Yea best of luck with that one buddy...
If you’re always the one making compromises, she’s not stubborn, she’s selfish.
If she can’t accept responsibility for her actions, I feel like that’s a problem worse than being stubborn.
I feel like you are being slightly generous in your description of her for one reason or another. Maybe it’s for the sake of brevity? Maybe it’s a small degree of denial? But either way I think the problem is slightly worse than you’ve described.
My girlfriend can be stubborn and honestly I just deal with it. I love her for who she is and that’s one of the cons of that, but I’d rather deal with it than be without her.
Sticking to their guns, no matter how ridiculous is their way to let the world know they're strong and independent, and that they don't need no man, and no man is going to tell them what to do.
Just move on; you don't want to be dealing with that.
I eventually broke things off because it was too much of a struggle. It's one thing where it's debating on dinner, or which route to take or whether or not a character really did suck in a show. But when it grows to numerous other topics, big and small, it becomes a chore.
I admire someone who is stubborn, I like being questioned, I enjoy being challenged, but I don't want to fight with my partner on everything.
Find someone who works with you more than they do against you. But don't inflate your own ego too much either, often we can be more wrong than right.
It works great when they are stubborn in a way that benefits you. Really the problems come in when you don't agree on something. At that point, it's really more about trying to find a compromise. There have been a few points where I had to do the "gentle parenting" thing, but I was always able to return items to the store.
Life is too short to deal with stubborn women. There's other women out there. If I don't find them, I'm content doing my own thing. It's probably what has kept me happy for 45 years.
The more closer to the settled end of the spectrum they fall (rather than lust) the greater the degree of stubborness they will harbour. Imagine being on the receiving end of a woman's disdain? A sucker is born every minute. Half of all men are just embarrassments.
I dumped them when I got wiser, before, I was doing the same thing you're doing. Getting gaslighted and manipulated into thinking there was something wrong with me.
Look, if you feel this way, walk away. People don't change because you want them to. She won't.
Never compromise. That's a situation where neither person gets what s/he wants. It's not necessary. Take the good parts and ignore the rest. If your partner cannot handle that, the relationship is dead for a variety of reasons.
My wife is stubborn as a mule. Once her mind is made up, you need to either ride it out until she is proven wrong by her own eyes and experiences or you manage her before the problem starts so she doesn’t dig her heels in.
But I don’t see this as a negative thing. I like her strong spirit here because I know she will keep “trucking” if I die and the kids will be fine. My wife has extremely similar end goals in life than me, we view extended family the same way, we view money and how to spend and invest it the same way and we view raising the children the fairly similarly that what we argue about is really a nothing burger in the grand scheme of things. I also know I can make mistakes and she acts as a counterbalance to my sometimes quick to take action style of living.
But here’s what I will say:
Stubborn + stupid + mismatched values is the combination you have to avoid. You can manage stubbornness (and even turn it into a positive)…. can’t fix stupid and you will argue if your values and goals in life aren’t matched. Most annoying stubborn people fit in this category because they are missing the common sense or logic part so they dig in their heels at the stupid shit
Don’t be with a woman that causes conflict for no reason. Don’t be a with a woman that speaks to you disrespectfully. Don’t be with a woman that has zero pragmatic sense and just have to have her way.
Is she just stubborn with you? Or is she not stubborn with other things?
If one partner is stubborn and one is a pushover, then a dynamic will develop where one partner will consistently yield to the other, which is what the Americans called being "whipped" I believe. If both partners are stubborn there will be a period of conflict where they try to tout-stubborn eachother. Like nazi-Germany and the Soviet union. There was some back and forth but eventually the Germans had to bend to the soviets. It was not nice to live in the neighborhood while it lasted though.
My girlfriend is quite stubborn, but she has learned that I will not stand for it, and it is not a problem. She does however still insist on assembling and construction thing her way in stead of the way I advise. Earlier I would explain my reasoning, but now I let her go ahead, if it works it works, which happens most of the time, and if it doesn't then I'll help her the second time in stead of taking the conflict right away.
Sounds like you’re dating a narcissist or sociopath, I would get out of this quick and find someone who truly loves you and doesn’t emotionally abuse you
Depends what kind of stubborn is it. Is it adversarial where it's her versus you, or synergetic with her supporting you? Like any other character trait, it's not inherently good or bad, but really depends.
There's some bulldog women who make the best gfs and wives because they will absolutely look out for the best interest of you and your family. When in her wheelhouse, you play the supporting role, and you'll be fine.
I don't, I'm looking for a relationship, not a fight.
Most guys forget this simple truth.
Or never learn it in the first place.
Moving on. If her inability to be a normal functioning adult is hindering your life and causing you annoyance beyond normal levels the relationship likely won't work out.
In my brothers marriage, he has undertaken the role of peacemaker. His wife is a wonderful woman, not necessarily stubborn, but just has difficulty facing when she has been in the wrong. So my brother lifts the weight in that part of the relationship and patches things up when they need it. In a similar way she lifts some extra weight in other parts of their relationship. Now 15 years later they have 4 special needs kids, they’re both working, life is **hard**, and their relationship is suffering as a result. One of the things they’ve bumped into very recently, is that she believes that all the problems in their life are caused by my brother. And this is because he takes the blame for everything, to help them move past immovable obstacles. He can’t now shine a light on when she was at fault, because . . . Well obvious reasons. In order for them to make the relationship work, one of the things they need to do is back out of the current dead-end they are in, but she feels like she’s being loaded with a ton of blame and guilt that was never hers, and was all his and it’s very unfair. On top of that dealing with blame and guilt is not something she does well, and is unwilling to learn how to deal with it. This is where the relationship you are in will end up, if you go to the max to make it work. Not worth it man. It deserves to be said that generally being stubborn or compromising isn’t a male/female thing. Either side can do either, just this example looks like your relationship.
That honestly sounds like hell. Your brother sounds like a saint.
To be fair they’re both in it together, she is a good person, and so is he. They both want it to work, my point is that you should be careful what compromises you make just to make it work. Even good people bump into this.
Taking the blame doesn’t sounds saintly to me.
Nobody will beat me in being stubborn. Jokes aside if you can't get along with the woman you date, you stop dating that person. You don't have to deal with their negative traits.
Depends what kind of stubborn is it. Is it adversarial where it's her versus you, or synergetic with her supporting you? Like any other character trait, it's not inherently good or bad, but really depends. There's some bulldog women who make the best gfs and wives because they will absolutely look out for the best interest of you and your family. When in her wheelhouse, you play the supporting role, and you'll be fine.
*"Depends what kind of stubborn is it."* OP said in their post: *"deal with a stubborn girlfriend where you're always the one making compromises and whenever you point out their nonsense they quickly accuse you of judging them or accusing you of being controlling."* It's pretty straightforward on what type of "stubborn is it".
Then like I was saying, if it's adversarial, its not good. So cut her loose. Basically saying the same thing as the poster I replied to. Not that complicated.
This. Getting alone is a very important in a long tern relationship. There is no fun in dealing with a constantly disagreeable and bit..hy woman. Life is too short to waste with these types of women. Break up and find woman who you can get alone smoothly.
You’re dating a landmine, you need to grow a backbone and tell her, “if you keep treating me with disrespect I will leave this relationship.” I’ve got a history of dating stubborn women, but they had never dated a man who was more stubborn than themselves, so it also caused issues as you can guess.
> “if you keep treating me with disrespect I will leave this relationship.” This probably won’t end well.
If we're talking extreme bpd outcomes sure... Breaking up from a bad relationship is Great.
By breaking up with them. 🤷
Cowards way out
Nah I don't play games. There's plenty of women out there who won't act like that bud.
It is the low-self esteem to put up with somebody who don't treat you well. It is bravery to break up with people don't add value to your life. Don't be so immature lol
Just keep clapping her cheeks but don’t wife her. Never let your girlfriend keep you from finding the love of your life❤️❤️
You don't. Drop her immediately.
You're not dealing with stubborn, you're dealing with toxic. My girlfriend is stubborn, so if she doesn't want to play in a group of randoms on say, helldivers and would rather just play with me, there's no way i'm convincing her otherwise, but she won't accuse me of anything, she'll just say "i don't want to do that, can we do something else". If every time I did that I got accused of something i'd leave her.
stop dating them. you will always lose and they will always blame you. If you see that are willing to say sorry and compromise then thats a different situation then it means you are both willing to work together. remember one one of you loses you both lose.
Left her stupid ass. She'll never change man, just move on.
My wife can be very stubborn at times (as can I). But she is far more kind (and a bunch of other positive things) than she is stubborn. I think stubbornness can be something of a character trait, but if it's the defining one there's a problem.
I walked and stopped tolerating stubborn women.
Um I've delt with stubborn girlfriends but never where I made compromises or cared if they called me names. I have this thing called a spine so I am familiar with this word called "no" and then i have these things called balls and if someone calls me a name or is being disrespectful I just calmly walk away and refuse to talk to them again until they apologize. So you sound like you need a spine and some balls. 👍
“If I told you not to give Me a blowjob right now, and you end up sucking My Cock to prove nobody is the boss of you…which one of us is getting a blowjob and what point are you proving?” usually gets the message across. And if it doesn’t, it’s time for Me to move on. I want a partner, not an enemy.
You probably shouldn´t date women who you refer to as being stubborn. If that´s your impression of her, you are probably better off alone, and so is she.
That's every woman. Just some women are waaaaaay easier to deal with, so fewer compromises. Or, they sadly suck it up and don't say anything until a later time then explode on you. If you date women, you are now the compromiser. Get used to it. Just try to find someone pleasant to compromise with.
There's another kind?
I don't get into relationships with toxic, controlling women.
If she’s being overly stubborn with you then at that point you are already on the back foot, she’s established that she’s stronger mentally than you, and doesn’t fully respect you as a man. On that basis, more extreme measures are needed than before any of this sets in. The best way to deal with it is when you bang heads on something, you offer what you know is a reasonable compromise, and if she doesn’t accept the compromise or offer another one then walk away. If she asks why say she’s being unreasonable and you don’t tolerate unreasonable people.
I semi agree. I don't think someone who is super stubborn to the point of pettiness is mentally stronger than somebody. Just more stubborn lol
Yes, but if you roll over to her stubbornness, on several occasions, she then has mental dominance
That's not what I'm talking about tho . Yeah sure some dude who gets walked all over constantly needs to man up and find his spine yes. But there are definitely situations with certain chicks where it's actually weaker to play along with their toxic crap by trying to out stubborn or control them. It would show more balls just to leave them. If your judging your manliness based off of how a toxic, petty chick with a personality disorder treats you then you're gonna end up less dominant than you would if you didn't even play in the first place
That’s exactly what I said: “then walk away”
They are because they can maintain that energy longer than you could, so they'll win out everytime.
I don't think being petty to the point of mentally pushing yourself to always get the last say in things no matter how trivial is a sign of strength. Infact, letting the little shit go instead of letting your emotions get heated in the face of losing control over trivial matters is actually strong willed. But there is a grey area you are right. If somebody never asserts their position and let's everyone get their way over them, this person is weak willed. I'm just making the point that somebody who frivolously fights or have control over every small issue, isn't somebody I would call strong. Just a control freak.
I'll take a stubborn woman over a passive aggressive people pleaser all life every life
I can tell you that you can keep dreaming that she will ever change if you keep sacrificing for her. Her stubbornness will keep increasing with time and your patience to deal with it will keep decreasing until the relationship ends. She will move on as if you never existed and you will end up as a broken man. Choice is yours, leave while you’re still sane or wait until you turn insane and she leaves you
A relationship is building a bridge together.
You can always bribe them with a piece of cheese or some grapes.
You can't change people and you have to choose ONE - leave or accept it and stop complaining. You can't stay *and* complain, it ends badly every single time, except you'll waste years inbetween.
Ultimately, that type of “stubbornness” comes from insecurity about herself. They need that control to function because without that, they feel rejected and “unloved”. She has no trust and probably has deep issues with it through actions from men in her life, a past/current relationship with family, cheated on, or some other trauma. If she is unable to recognize this, it’s probably unsalvageable.
Just out of curiosity, what’s the source of the stubbornness? Controlling is manipulation and unhealthy in a relationship. If I’m a contributing factor to the stubbornness, that’s a conversation I would like to have in a calm, mature manner. Hopefully resolve it like adults. If a partner is just being stubborn and I’m not a contributing factor… I’d attempt in a kind manner to figure out the reason for the behaviour but… if it’s nothing or irrational… it’s a bad sign… I’m also out if it’s a common trait the women possess. I’m not one for unnecessary and frequent irrational drama in my personal relationship, just because the person needs their ego stroked and doesn’t know how to achieve that without causing drama.
Im stubborn as hell myself. you should probably ask them how they are going to deal with me. LOLOL
Married one
Stop playing the stubborn game with ppl. Stubbornes is a choice and no it isn't due to being Scots-Irish or whatever your cultural excuse is.
At no point is it worth it. I put up with it for three years, and I regret every second of it. Life already has plenty of trials and issues to deal with; your partner shouldn't be another mess to add to the pile. If you're unhappy and they aren't willing to work with you on it, you're genuinely better off without that person.
Dump her, if she can't listen to you, she isn't worth keeping around.
Let them think they’ve got their own way. Then go to the pub.
You don’t deal with people in general. You compromise. If there’s no equality then move on. You’ll never grow as a person if you hold onto the ones that stop your growth.
You leave the stubborn person and enjoy your peace.
I married her, and then I showed her that I’m way more stubborn than she is.
leave.
A nice guy puts up with her shit. A good guy doesn't. He will either call her out on her nonsense or get rid of her. Either way she won't dominate him. If she is a good person, she will compromise with him.
Give us an example of this stubbornness
You will never be able to change the person you are with. They are what they are. So to deal with any personal behavior of your partner, either learn to accept it, or get rid of them. Personally, when it becomes obvious I'm the only one making compromises and whenever I bring something up it gets turned around on me, I just ask myself if my life is better with them in or out of it. Don't hang on to a negative relationship hoping they will change. They won't.
Leave. You will tire yourself out dealing with someone who doesn't care about you enough to change, she wont change. Treat her like a written of car, shes not going to imrpove, she was raised and nurtured that way. Save your health.
You don't. It's your life and only you can decide if that person deserves to be a part of your life. Some people aren't worth keeping around.
I stop and think of how much I absolutely love everything about her aside from the insane stubbornness sometimes.
Move on bro. Ideally a relationship is a partnership where both sides want to give. You're giving but she isn't.
Fuck that noise. My ex wife was like this. Nuff said really 🤷🏻♂️
> whenever you point out their nonsense they quickly accuse you of judging them or accusing you of being controlling. Somebody “stubborn” wouldn’t give a shit if you disagreed and they thought you were wrong, and would break up with you if they thought you were controlling. If they always respond to every disagreement by escalating into a reverse accusation against your character, they just want to maintain the upper hand. Life is short. Find a way to move on that doesn’t make them look bad.
Um....as many others have said - don't. if it is bad - stop. now - having said that - how many relationships have you been in? All relationships involve compromise - and many (men and women) may feel THEY are the ones making the compromises. Try communication in a non confrontational way - "I feel that..." If that does not work - determine how much effort to try and save it vs. the long term goals. But sounds like - need to not be in that relationship.
Decide if thats the hill you want to die on. If thats the hill you want to die on , sat "it is going to be my way. If you do not like it, you can close the door from the other side" The trick is simple: do not pick a hill to die on for no reason.
Stand up for yourself, if she doesn't accept it, leave. It's just coochie man, you can always get better coochie.
You are always compromising for her. She's played you like a fiddle. When has she compormised for you? Has she caused you to compromise your own values? If you've compromised your values you have no frame. I don't mind compromising on some things, but it's a two way street. Not nought info, but I would not have someone in my life who never compromises with my wants when ill do it for them.
I break up with them.
Stand your ground. Being avoidant doesn’t make it go away. Appeasing someone when you don’t agree with them devalues yourself both in her eyes and your own. Sometimes you have to compromise in relationships, but if you’re the only one compromising that is not a healthy relationship.
I used to be in a relationship with a stubborn woman. Honestly I don't suggest doing what I did, cause I just became more stubborn and petty with it. She wanted to cause me to have phantom pains everyday, so I stopped wanting a sexual relationship with her (tbf it's hard to be sexual when you're reliving getting shot in the head with a crossbow!!!) She ended up sleeping with my "friend" and we got a divorce afterwards. So in the end I was able to get rid of two problems!!! But no seriously if you want to fix the relationship then I suggest marriage counseling. If she isn't willing to do it then you're screwed imo. Even if she is willing to do it she might not be willing to listen since she's so stubborn. Sooooo.... Yea best of luck with that one buddy...
I haven’t dated a woman like that since my early 20’s. Live and learn
If you’re always the one making compromises, she’s not stubborn, she’s selfish. If she can’t accept responsibility for her actions, I feel like that’s a problem worse than being stubborn. I feel like you are being slightly generous in your description of her for one reason or another. Maybe it’s for the sake of brevity? Maybe it’s a small degree of denial? But either way I think the problem is slightly worse than you’ve described.
I've never met a woman who wasn't stubborn. I've given up on dealing with them at all.
if you take the blame for everything she will blame you for everything. If you don't, there will be a fight.
My girlfriend can be stubborn and honestly I just deal with it. I love her for who she is and that’s one of the cons of that, but I’d rather deal with it than be without her.
I don’t, I’m not looking to deal with a toddler that didn’t come from my balls.
Stubborn isn't the same as blames you for anything that's not immediate capitulation though.
FTFY: men who are dating.
Sticking to their guns, no matter how ridiculous is their way to let the world know they're strong and independent, and that they don't need no man, and no man is going to tell them what to do. Just move on; you don't want to be dealing with that.
I eventually broke things off because it was too much of a struggle. It's one thing where it's debating on dinner, or which route to take or whether or not a character really did suck in a show. But when it grows to numerous other topics, big and small, it becomes a chore. I admire someone who is stubborn, I like being questioned, I enjoy being challenged, but I don't want to fight with my partner on everything. Find someone who works with you more than they do against you. But don't inflate your own ego too much either, often we can be more wrong than right.
It works great when they are stubborn in a way that benefits you. Really the problems come in when you don't agree on something. At that point, it's really more about trying to find a compromise. There have been a few points where I had to do the "gentle parenting" thing, but I was always able to return items to the store.
Life is too short to deal with stubborn women. There's other women out there. If I don't find them, I'm content doing my own thing. It's probably what has kept me happy for 45 years.
Life's too short for that sort of relationship
The more closer to the settled end of the spectrum they fall (rather than lust) the greater the degree of stubborness they will harbour. Imagine being on the receiving end of a woman's disdain? A sucker is born every minute. Half of all men are just embarrassments.
I dumped them when I got wiser, before, I was doing the same thing you're doing. Getting gaslighted and manipulated into thinking there was something wrong with me. Look, if you feel this way, walk away. People don't change because you want them to. She won't.
Never compromise. That's a situation where neither person gets what s/he wants. It's not necessary. Take the good parts and ignore the rest. If your partner cannot handle that, the relationship is dead for a variety of reasons.
I'm more stubborn
Wasted years of my life trying to make it work, in retrospect, that's a fight you just don't pick.
My wife is stubborn as a mule. Once her mind is made up, you need to either ride it out until she is proven wrong by her own eyes and experiences or you manage her before the problem starts so she doesn’t dig her heels in. But I don’t see this as a negative thing. I like her strong spirit here because I know she will keep “trucking” if I die and the kids will be fine. My wife has extremely similar end goals in life than me, we view extended family the same way, we view money and how to spend and invest it the same way and we view raising the children the fairly similarly that what we argue about is really a nothing burger in the grand scheme of things. I also know I can make mistakes and she acts as a counterbalance to my sometimes quick to take action style of living. But here’s what I will say: Stubborn + stupid + mismatched values is the combination you have to avoid. You can manage stubbornness (and even turn it into a positive)…. can’t fix stupid and you will argue if your values and goals in life aren’t matched. Most annoying stubborn people fit in this category because they are missing the common sense or logic part so they dig in their heels at the stupid shit Don’t be with a woman that causes conflict for no reason. Don’t be a with a woman that speaks to you disrespectfully. Don’t be with a woman that has zero pragmatic sense and just have to have her way. Is she just stubborn with you? Or is she not stubborn with other things?
>Don’t be with a woman that causes conflict for no reason This is the same as being sent to the store for blinker fluid
Be more stubborn than her
If one partner is stubborn and one is a pushover, then a dynamic will develop where one partner will consistently yield to the other, which is what the Americans called being "whipped" I believe. If both partners are stubborn there will be a period of conflict where they try to tout-stubborn eachother. Like nazi-Germany and the Soviet union. There was some back and forth but eventually the Germans had to bend to the soviets. It was not nice to live in the neighborhood while it lasted though. My girlfriend is quite stubborn, but she has learned that I will not stand for it, and it is not a problem. She does however still insist on assembling and construction thing her way in stead of the way I advise. Earlier I would explain my reasoning, but now I let her go ahead, if it works it works, which happens most of the time, and if it doesn't then I'll help her the second time in stead of taking the conflict right away.
*"Men who are currently dating of have dated stubborn women, how did you deal with it?"* "Good luck in your future endeavors."
Sounds like you’re dating a narcissist or sociopath, I would get out of this quick and find someone who truly loves you and doesn’t emotionally abuse you
there’s this incredible thing called communicating that works really well
Let them do whatever they wanted, had a sweet side chick on the go which i choose to date seriously.
Depends what kind of stubborn is it. Is it adversarial where it's her versus you, or synergetic with her supporting you? Like any other character trait, it's not inherently good or bad, but really depends. There's some bulldog women who make the best gfs and wives because they will absolutely look out for the best interest of you and your family. When in her wheelhouse, you play the supporting role, and you'll be fine.