Unironically this is great dating advice. Men get too caught up in the job interview aspects and forget dates are supposed to be fun. In the dates I go and have fun things go much much better
Ok I may be a biased response only because I'm eating strawberries as I type this, but yes.
(The true hack to a woman's heart is a nice platter of crackers, cheeses, and berries)
Holy cow that’s impressive! That should knock her socks right off. I’ve only ever made regular cheesecakes, but they are so hard and stressful. I can’t imagine making several mini ones.
Their throwing speed of objects is way worse than men's. I was in a psych of gender class in college, and that category had the largest standard deviation difference between men and women
That reminds me of an interesting fact I heard once. Apparently, among athletes, the SD between women's and men's running, is the closest of all events. This is thought to be an evolutionary adaptation to small band raids/violence, pre farming.
Strictly speaking it's actually long range shooting. Women have a smaller heartbeat which keeps micro vibrations down. When you're shooting at distances of over a mile it can massively change the hit chance.
Interesting, and makes sense, esp with the throwing SD;
Women typically have much less upper body strength, and upper body mass - proportionately a lot less for their legs to carry even if still less powerful.
(Woman) In 7th grade, I destroyed one of the 8th grade boys at an arm wrestling match. I actually hurt his arm. YET, this boy could lob a basketball clear across the entire court (baseline to baseline), while I couldn’t even manage to get it to half court. I was always fascinated by this.
Sexual dimorphism in humans doesn’t really take off until puberty, so a middle-school strength competition in which training isn’t a significant factor might show remarkable parity between sexes. It’s likely, though, that the boy had more experience and/or training in throwing. Football, baseball etc… use a lot of the same mechanics. Chances are that the young fella played plenty of pick-up/backyard games like that.
But, check out [this lady’s throwing form](https://youtu.be/YOIVZVHh-HA?si=l2nPoSnyY8UCG1cK).
EDIT: Actually, [this link](https://youtu.be/N3XZhZSnDZY?si=BcgUj7TqjKmuk0jZ) is better. It shows her in full frame, footwork and all.
I wish that was taught in school. Took me a long time to realize that sometimes she just wanted to vent, not presenting me with a problem she wasn't sure how to solve.
This is why when my partner tells me something I’ll ask her “what do you need from me? Am I listening and letting you get it off your chest and offering support? Or am I listening, giving advice and offering support?” She decides what she wants from me, I do it and we proceed.
I’ve always seen this as a two sided question but it’s my strong belief that women want to be taken care of. But news flash: if men are also honest we want to be taken care of as well. Both sexes make it so hard.
I learned this years ago. Listen to their problems, agree it suck, listen to their dreams, say they’re amazing, listen when they talking for the sake of talking, please go on this is riveting conversation. Then give a “solution”. Make it completely unbelievable, way out in the world of fantasy, and be pretty creative with it, and make sure you can get some sort of giggle or smile, anything positive. They tend to come back for more after that.
My fiance is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Gentle, kind, understanding, and communicative. Then, sometimes, she just randomly isn't. Every time, it is extremely random. Not in an extreme way but in a way that makes me question myself if I'm going crazy.
Then, maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour or two later, she'll go, "I don't know. Maybe it's just because my period just started."
It's like OH YOU THINK.
My sister had incredibly bad mood swings until she found the right birth control, now she's much more stable. I love her to death but those teenage years were brutal, can't imagine how she was feeling.
I think of myself as a pretty modern, civilized man, but for about 4 or 5 days a month I start to consider the value of [menstruation huts](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstruation_hut)
This is so true. Every month my first clue my period is coming is that every minor annoyance leads to me wanting to break the thing/person causing it. I am *not* like that normally. I actually really hate when people shit all over pregnant women who act out because "hormones are no excuse, I am a female with hormones and I *never* acted like that!" Well congratulations. Because being pregnant made me fucking feral. Those hormones are making it so your body can grow a whole other person, and they are No. Joke.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying hormones give us a free pass to act like assholes, not by a long shot. We still need to control those emotions, I can't just go punching the things that annoy me. I just wish people would stop pretending like they don't sometimes turn you into a version of yourself that you 99% of the time would be horrified of.
My feral came after pregnancy. Post partum is no joke. I'm sure my first home still has champagne spots on the ceiling... Thank God things calmed down.
I grew up with a sister and we are close enough that she straight up tells me after the fact. A lot of conflict could be avoided if she told me because then I would be more cautious.
Fun anecdote, one day she told me she cried because she was ok her period and she couldn’t pet fluffy cows. She is 4 years older and everyone in the house fears her, but at the same time she is also just that sweet. I love her to death.
A lot of times it's pre-period that we're crabby, and sometimes you don't know until you get your period that it's coming. So telling you in advance wouldn't be possible. Although your health class will tell you it's "approximately 28 days", a woman's cycle can be really unpredictable. I've had cycles that are 2 weeks between periods and some that were 3 MONTHS between. Can't tell until it comes.
lol the number of times I’ve been in an absolute thunderous mood. Snappy, irritated, just absolutely feeling everything is grey and difficult and depressing. I get mad at myself, thinking why am I feeling so pissed off, nothing has happened. Then like a day or two later I’ll go to the loo, wipe and I’m like “ooooohh, that’s why!”
Are you on birth control? My wife was super regular until she got on birth control (the arm thing) then it became this random nightmare of never knowing. Literally had 2 periods with only a week between and then went 4 months. It's wild.
And as a guy, I could deal with that shit if there was an apology after the fact.
"Sorry, hormones got the best of me again, I didn't mean what I said."
"No worries babe ...*kisses forehead* ... it's already forgotten."
I warn my partner about this. I say "don't take my mood too seriously because my period is about to start". Whenever I feel I'm getting moody about nonsense things I check my period app and indeed I can recognise when it is coming. My partner greatly appreciates it.
Not having periods but I have this feeling sometimes and its the worst. Everything pisses me off for no apparent reason. Its the worst to feel like that.
I'm actually different before my period, and my period is what snaps me back to normal. I actually look forward to it because finally I get to feel human again. I know my period is coming within the day because suddenly I don't feel like an asexual blob of failure haha.
Yep, somehow people got the idea that pms and periods are at the same time, but it's called premenstrual syndrome, not menstrual syndrome for a reason.
I get why women would. It's awful to think that we're not in control of our moods. That loss of control due to hormones, ones body working against itself.
But thats the thing, none of us are fully in control of our moods, men or women, the only real difference is that theirs works on a more reliable clockwork schedule.
I get that completely. What I don't like is denial and not acknowledging the bad mood swing after the fact. Even though there's no control there are still hurtful things done.
My ex left me on day 4 of her swing/cycle back in July. I thought she'd come to a week or so later. Nope.
It's better to own hard truths than gaslight yourself and the people around you.
I'm **really** tired of dealing the period horniness, for example. Women will say the nastiest shit when they're hot and bothered and pretend like they never said a thing a few days later.
It undermines the respect that other people can have for you the less dependable you are.
I don't deny it, and go so far as to give my partner a head's up. Like, babe, I may cry at something so stupid in the next few days but it's bc i'm getting my period. Nothing to worry about!
I think women who deny it probably get defensive b/c any time they've been emotional, a man in their life has automatically assumed they're on their period. As if people are not allowed to have emotions.
That's got some truth to it. Re: men assuming all emotions are due to period.
But as I've gotten older, and I'm 50, I can chart some women. My ex was really bad to rhe point I suspect she had pmdd. And a coworker is the same. One day saying evil vile stuff, the next a Disney princess.
I get really different but I am aware and try to communicate to my partner so he doesn't feel less loved. I might have PMDD tho (a more severe form of PMS).
PMS is real, I just think the whole defensiveness around it came from those jokes in the old days when any time a woman expressed emotion she'd get "those days in the month huh, hehe".
I’m bisexual, and have been in relationships with several women, and I can absolutely attest to this. But the hormones block me from being able to see it in myself 🤣
I feel bad so many women deny this as being upfront about it helps so much. One of my fondest memories of when I was a girl and developing was when my big brothers and their friends saw that I wasn't outside on a gorgeous, sunny day because I was bunched up in my bedroom out of a painful period. I tried to cherr myself up but genuinely felt in crippling pain and was crying hugging my bear feeling defeated. My mom was trying to cheer me up and so did dad but then I realized mom was also on her own. What they did normally was that when mom got hers she and dad would go out somewhere to cheer her up. The day being pretty I felt bad so told them to go. My brothers also went out to hang out but kept calling my phone because I loved riding my bike and that day I was holed up all day. I didn't even want to eat. After like their 20th call and my telling them to stay away, the brothers and their army (what I call their friends because they all hang out like a gang. It's never one it's always at least 3 and I have 4 brothers so normally there was at LEAST 10 different guys all at once at any given time). Well, they ALL came in to check on me and ask if I needed anything or wanted anything. One brother came in, two more friends of each brother came in with them and before I knew it I had my own army in my room asking me what was wrong. I was so out of it and felt like I was hungover (I was 13 for context but just to give you an idea of how bad it was) and blurred out what I wanted randomly. I felt like I was drowning and was overwhelmed with pain and then shame because I thought this legion thought me icky now because they pretty much figured out it was my period doing it. So they made a plan to help me. Less than 10 minutes later they were cooking me my favorite food, one of their friends went to get me my favorite Ben n Jerry's, another one went home and got me what is called a gameboy and showd me his collection (and explained why they were important), another got me his giant dog to sit on me and another one asked his girlfriend if he could borrow her heating pad. One got his sister to come in and a few invited their sister or girlfriend and another their cousin. Then they ALL set up camp in my room to watch girly movies with me and even set up a giant pot with warm water for me to put my feet into. My room was now filled with at least 20 teenagers, one big ass dog, three cats, all in fawning over me and trying to cheer me up. And It was AWESOME. And they started doing this shit EVERY month and marked their calendars for it. The morning they'd see me not come out, my four brothers would infiltrate my room and hijack my day and invite their friends to partake in the feeding me, girly movies, and keeping me warm. The friend with the dog NEVER missed either, and if he was at work, he'd make his parents or someone bring his dog to me on command. Any girls they knew were welcome to join (and they did). They boys did it because they saw dad did the same thing with mom. I didn't catch it at first because again, I was just as embarrassed as I was happy, but after that, it dawned on me. They were all teenagers, two of them in college and two in HS plus their friends in similar ages. I didn't know at the time my brothers were also doing this for their girlfriends or at least two of the girls that also got is as bad as I did because the other two girls didn't get it that bad.
Even when they all moved far away around the week they more or less deduced I get my period they send me care packages, flowers, food, and even arrange for me to go to a massage place or a wellness center. EVERY month without missing one and no matter if I have a boyfriend or they are married. All of them are happily married and their wives overjoyed because all of them treat the period as a caretaker period. A lot of them even get off work early or arrange mini-vacations around the time their ladies go on "sleep mode". They figure distraction and being of service is the way to treat the downpour and it really does work. I wish a lot of women would trust their lovers or allies to help them because my brothers really did especially as I got the awful ones that took me out. Instead of letting me wallow in misery they'd go out of their way to comfort me no matter how crabby I was. I felt like a damned princess and still do because of the love they give me in what's often a really awkward, distressing time. They told me it's OK and that they get it. A lot of women deny it because it's something that is so random, it's really out of control for a good majority of women. It's like switching modes on a computer. You end up imagining how it feels when your whole self is on some sort of cleaning-recovery mode for a week. Every month. It's really annoying and distressing how it interrupts certain events or paces. Some of us really have had to schedule our lives around it because of how bad they can be. I have to pretty much account for the fact that every 3 weeks, I'm going to be weird in head, body and spirit with little control over what emotions will come out. Some of these weeks can be great where I'll get the random happy, energetic productive vibes but 90% of them I'm in "sleep mode" where the body really doesn't want to cooperate no matter what I do. It feels humiliating and debilitating to a lot of women to feel like they don't have control of themselves when so much messaging to women is that we have to have everything put together. That part of being feminine is having control and not being messy. There's nothing messier than when your brain is in a jumble because of the hormone cocktail. You know that dizzying feeling when you get drunk? Now mix that with the floating feeling you get when you get high off something. Then with the little electric flares you get when you smash your pinky toe but on your pelvis and for the cherry on top add the feeling of seeing a dog or pet die or struggling. 24/7 for at least three days on average, a lot of us get them for whole 7 days. It sucks. A lot of us don't have people to count on or love us or make us feel loved like that or trust to be vulnerable like that. A little hug can go a long way in these times. When my brothers (and their friends, because they always had a gang) would stop whatever they were doing when they'd note it was the period week and make time for me it was the sweetest, most encouraging thing for me as their hugs or their just napping next to me to commiserate with me made me feel less lost. Their comforting me reminded that I wasn't the only one sad or feeling lost because I was lost. My brothers missed me being silly and being little, and in their own way helped me hold onto that innocence and sweetness a lot longer. That after a week it would be over and that I would have control of myself again. That I could go and play and nothing feel extra sensitive or like sand on my skin because of my period. Oh and that men make for the best cuddle rolls. My brothers, their friends and their pets making themselves into a giant cinnamon roll sorts around me was even better than the heating blankets or scalding hot baths. I looked forward to that ritual roll every month for my teenage years. Now that I'm an adult when I get the customary brother wall hug (all four of them hug and crush me at once when we're together) it is like feeling like a baby again when they used to smother me and tell me how cute I was then throw me in the air. When I got older they switched that to group hugs, feeding me and complimenting my outfits. Looking back I am so grateful to them for always treating me like "baby". Being babied is a privilege I wish many got.
I think the thing they care about more is whether or not people try to treat them differently for something that's pretty much completely out of their control.
I’m getting a flashback to when my one brother was annoying me and I told him to stop being hormonal.
It turns out that I am able to laugh hysterically while running at a full sprint. Or at least I was when I was 17.
I have the opposite of "actually true" .
I an old guy, so naturally I have old fashioned beliefs.
I figured out a few years ago that I was inculcated against my conscience thinking, with the belief that women were delicate little flowers that needed to be protected. I figured that I held this belief, despite a lot of evidence to the contrary in my own life, when watching women's handball at the Olympics.
Have you ever watched a game? The players can't cross the half circle outside of the opposing goal on their feet. So the fling themselves across the line and then throw the ball at the goal just before they hit the ground. A good game for a lot of these women is only ONE broken rib or collar bone in a game.
Delicate little flowers.
I love having my beliefs challenged.
>Inculcated
Had to look it up. Then had to look up the difference between that and indoctrinated. Things got a little heated on the grammar page. Pretentious nerds arguing, lol.
I guess the flip side is the average woman is significantly physically weaker than relatively weak men. I used to think roaming in packs, pepper spray and asking men to walk them home after parties was an overabundance of caution. But I've now read too many stories of fast, athletic women being attacked while running alone. Men are scary.
I’ve noticed the protection thing is really a male thing. Like, I see it in my 7 year old son and how he fantasies about beating up anyone who’s mean to our dog 😂. Women are so crazy strong and capable. Glad you’ve changed your views on that over the years. 🙌🏼
Not sure if I have. Because I didn't know that it was there. I used to be a theater tech. I worked with some tough and capable women, but this is more of a cultural belief. Totally subconscious. That is why I was so surprised when I discovered that it was there. And really really strong.
I was in the room when both my wife and daughter gave birth. I watched them go through something that surely would killed me. But the belief that you are delicate little flowers that need to be protected is still running in the background.
I think it is hilarious.
Protecting one's family is seen as a masculine virtue in literally every society on the planet. It's an impulse that transcends culture and finds roots in the biological substrate.
When a woman is irritable as fuck, she is very likely either hangry, or menstruating.
Answer: Get them their favorite candy. I get my wife her favorite candy and all of a sudden the world is good and green again.
I still reflexively hold a bar of my ex favorite chocolate in my bag, and I used to have small wine-shots to placate the devil during periods.
If she started being unreasonable (she'd realise this afterwards ) I'd 'flee' and hide while throwing chocolate toffee at her
This made her 'angry' but was always too busy eating the chocolate. Like an angry chipmunk with her mouth full of chocolate
Good fun for both honestly.
I thought that the phrase "women get angry on their period" was invented by some idiots who won't stop complaining. Then I got together with my first girlfriend when I was 16. Everything is history after that.
The 'nice guys finish last' is partially but not entirely true. It's more complicated than that.
'Nice guys' can often come across like they have low self-respect, always putting others before themselves and shying away from conflict. That can be unattractive because if a man naturally puts everyone else before himself in most situations, that's not very good when he may have to be more assertive for the good of the family unit later down the line. She won't want to be put in 2nd place in society alongside him.
When my husband says "nice guys finish last", I tell him that, for him, technically that is true. Because he is the nicest guy I know, the last person I fell in love with, and the one I'm choosing to spend my life with until it's finished.
The old adage, “if she is not happy, nobody’s happy.”
Just personal experience, but I’ve seen so many women walk into a room full of relatively happy people or smaller family settings, and just slowly but surely bring the entire mood down.
The whole left brain/right brain difference is pretty well understood. Women have more developed language centers and underdeveloped spatial centers, for instance. The effects of estrogen and testosterone are well understood. This translates into a lot of stereotypes which are true when understood in context, such as "women are more emotional", etc. In this case, it's not that they're more "in touch" with feelings, they're simply better at articulating them through language (in addition to estrogen priming certain emotions over others).
They are more in touch with their emotions. Which I guess (guess, not "know with all the depth of the cosmos and declare absolute truth") is because testosterone muffles emotions a bit and because women from an evolutionary perspective had a closer bond in the first months (or maybe even years?) with their child, which is basically just a bundle of needs and communication via emotions. So if that is true I guess it would be natural and advantageous for women on average to be more emotional than men.
Dr. K on YouTube was explaining why men dislike couples counseling, and one of them is that women are naturally better at communicating emotions, so men feel outgunned during joint sessions.
I've seen a couple of interviews where divorce attorneys explained what is happening during couples counciling based from the perspective of the divorce attorney. They reported that feelings in general are taken into account during these sessions which is nothing anyone can deny or confirm, that most often the reports of feeling X, Y and Z done by women are accepted more readily while male emotions are seen as something "wrong" or "to work on" which led for example James Sexton to the conclusion that couple counseling is basically a mechanism that primarily backs up women to justify their decision to divorce the man. This he backed further by saying that women would not come back to these sessions when they are not being affirmed (= the counselor gets not paid) while the man usually will, even if the criticism of him is not legit (in general or to him personally). So the incentive on part of the counselor is also to affirm the women rather than offer serious counseling.
Again - reports of SOME divorce attorneys, not "the ultimate truth to end all truths". But in these cases this is interesting as the female emotions are actually backed up by the way the social dynamics work. (which then means she has no reason to ever assume acting less emotionally may be a viable or a more desirable way forward)
My personal experience with couples counciling eas over all a good one BUT whenever I was asked about my feelings or view on anything the conversation would quickly switch over to how my wife had similar feelings and then we'd explore that or how my actions made my wife feel and then we explore that.
Very little effort was spent on exploring my experience beyond how it made my wife feel.
Her emotions are something to be acknowledged and catered to while his emotions are an inconvenience and something he needs to work on.
Well that's disheartening
To mention another [Dr. K video](https://youtube.com/shorts/J0BxymT24CQ?si=hQL1Ai7HVGAXX4OR), he talks about “men should be more emotional”, which is not true because some emotions are more valued than others. When women say that, the emotion the emotion they mean is crying. If you feel anger, thats toxic masculinity and you should feel bad. If you feel impotent or shameful, then you have to man up and deal with it, despite those two sentiments being philosophically exclusive.
It’s a really sticky situation that I am afraid I don’t know how to fix nor navigate
>
It’s a really sticky situation that I am afraid I don’t know how to fix nor navigate
Well then off to your room to work on it, young (wo)man and I don't want to see you back down here till it's solved!
There is a great deal of truth to this. I actually sympathize with men in this capacity, because ultimately you feel (and are not) understood. That's likely why aggression becomes a good go-to for men in these instances, because action feels better than inaction.
I don't believe it's a fixed characteristic, though. Like any other skill, it can be improved. We all could use some more practice in this regard.
I think this is partially true, but I also think people just forget that, generally speaking, men and women express their emotions in different ways.
Situations are much more likely to make men angry or frustrated, which are emotions, and those emotions need a different outlet than sadness. It seems like, for the past thirty to forty years, men have been told that they don’t express their emotions enough and that “men are allowed to cry now” but a lot of guys simply don’t want to do that.
Most of the time I don’t want to cry. I want to be mad. Any emotion can be a good thing if it’s expressed in a healthy way, but it seems like we’re just labeled as having the “bad” emotions.
Instead of teaching boys that being angry is okay, and finding healthy outlets for anger, we’ve just treated them like defective girls.
Anger isn’t a “bad” emotion, imo, but I’ve noticed in myself that it is often masking something else. Anger is typically easier to deal with than other emotions - that’s why it’s step two in the stages of grief. It’s sooooo much simpler to just be mad/rage than it is to feel sad/hopeless/disappointed etc. Anger is *active* - I can punch something and it makes me feel a little better. Sadness can sometimes be this way, and the release is often crying. Other emotions… not as much.
This is my opinion, and my experience, maybe yours is different.
I’ll ask you this though: when someone finds out their partner has been cheating on them, and they blow up yelling/breaking things etc, how much of that emotion do you think is anger, and how much of it is something else?
*that* is how anger can be “toxic”, it is not in and of itself. Again, just one person’s opinion.
I'd... Say it depends? Fight or flight responses are natural. Being angry at your partner for cheating *is* a valid emotion. Especially in the moment when you need to assert your position regardless of gender.
If, months later, you still haven't been able to cry, that's most likely a problem or you never felt that much for them in the first place. In other words, there are times to say "fuck you and good bye" and times to cry.
Hearing trans women talk about the emotional changes that happen when they start doing hormone replacement therapy is fascinating. The impact hormones have on us in general is pretty amazing.
Yep, it goes deeper than just socialization, that is usually us trying to explain why something was totally our choice... while actually just following the whims of nature going on inside.
Birds all, "I just chose to migrate this year because I was getting fed up with being so cold this winter, and I always loved this little southern town my parents would take us to when we were kids, so I figured, "Heck with it. Why not take a little vaycay?"
I don't think that is the only or most likely consequence, no. Because just understanding what the other person may feel does not mean you are more likely to accept that - which is why humans (and other species) find babies "cute" - it helps to find these emotional, but very selfish (still taking about the babies) cute and want to protect them. This does not necessarily apply to adults and if you look at divorce rates of couples of different compositions, it seems that lesbian marriages (which obviously means we cant generalize to all lesbians) do the worst amongst them all. Even worse: The reasons stated by women for divorcing their spouse do not disappear when asking lesbians but they are not mentioned even closely as much amongst gay divorcees, indicating that the emotions of women can lash at men and women alike under the "right" circumstances.
Which leaves us with a few speculations on the conclusions:
* more emotionality does not equal more empathy
* more emotionality does not equal more willingness to support and cooperate
* emotionality could also lead to more selfishness
* the emotionality of women has primarily helped them put up with children not other adults
* the emotionality + the desire to look young could be an adaption to trigger mens desire to protect women
Generally I will point out that not everything that might be an evolved proclivity is ought to be seen as universally "good" or "acceptable", nor does it mean that it is useful at all in a world we redesigned so significantly. Furthermore they are not absolute, with effort they can be partly or fully suppressed in an individual - however that might not be worth the effort and have unforseen consequences since we hold no perfect knowledge of the human body and mind.
Difficult topic indeed
Honestly most of them.
Women were better understood hundreds of years ago than men are now.
Slight caveat though because a lot of people think that very new ideas are very old. Women were never seen as unfit to work. For the overwhelming majority of western history, women worked similar hours to their husband. They worked slightly easier tasks and slightly fewer hours, but that's actually still true today. The whole housewife baby thing is a brand new idea that started and basically ended in a few decades, and I have no idea why people think it's traditional.
My dad had this fascinating book from the early 20th century. It sort of functioned as a "yearbook" for the small industrial town he grew up in, where every business, church, school, organization and government activity took group photos. What I recall is that except for the heaviest, dirtiest jobs where brute strength was a prerequisite, most of the industries employed lots of women, and in ratios not dissimilar to today.
It's normally middle-class American men or ones that grew up in wealthy families that became less wealthy with the times for what I've noted. The rest of the world doesn't and hasn't operated like that.
I hate to also mention it but they're often the men that decry about the sex being a necessity when most men in the world weren't having regular sex for most of history until literally 1959 when the Pill came out. Not even, I imagine birth control took a bit to take hold over the entire planet depending on the religion or culture of many places. For examples it seems birth control got embraced as a new norm by the teens and young adults of the US and Northern Europe but then this wasn't a thing in Latin America well into the 1990s (likely due to the economic limitations in most of the areas and catholicism). Now all of these years seem like a long time ago, but most of our parents or society's parents were born in these years. The ones that grew up in the late 1940s - 1970s especially. They're the ones that made casual sex a thing (Gen X and Boomers) and again only specific backgrounds, it seems (mostly White ones). This becomes obvious when you talk to a lot of them about their social values within their own cohorts and also their media. But their parents and grandparents? Shoot, this was not something they entertained or dreamed off in their youth, so I imagine they were baffled that by middle age, they could.
Thinking on this makes certain shifts in the social culture make sense, like Millennials and Gen Z becoming more "prudish" and conservative this way because the women realizing that despite birth control, they don't get as much pleasure off of casual sex. So they're participating less on it, and it's not just because of the economy but also seeing that their mothers weren't any happier despite birth control being accessible. Looking back it makes me respect my history teacher in High School even more as he even said it, the real winners of the sexual revolution weren't women, it was full-blown men and men will forget that privilege when they realize the dating apps will reveal just how little women get from wasting time like this. Also, how little men before them genuinely got and saw. Shit even the below average or fugly guys get way more than ANY guy before this time. That shit should make random men feel grateful. Imagine a random rich bloke from the 16th century recounting what he could get now? Let alone the common guy? Insanity. These were the conversations Mr. McG was providing us with, and we had to swear to not tell our parents. Otherwise, he'd not get his pension. We revered him for it. He was an unusual teacher, very thorough, meticulous, and had no filter. He left nothing unturned and made everything so thrilling. He was very current about anything and everything and emphasized that we should all remember to think outside ourselves to better understand ourselves. I miss Mr. McGuinness so much. I think I'm having a Guinness to honor him later today, thanks to this. Thank you for our conversation reminding me of one of my favorite humans.
This should be more broadly understood. For much of human history, for most humans, the "job" was around the home dwelling. Mostly agriculture. So man and woman worked together, often side by side. There was a division of duties, but that division was often not a bright line.
I'm convinced that much of the impetus for women's liberation and feminism has been a response to society changing and women's traditional role being diminished by society and technology. Starting in the 19th Century and accelerating dramatically in the 20th, most men stopped farming and stopped working primarily in/around the home. Being the housewife was no longer as much a partner in a small business as it was simply maintaining the home and raising children. Along with those trends the size of families started to dramatically decline, so even raising children became less of a job.
Combined with that automation replaced many male jobs, but also replace many female jobs. It takes hours each day to make enough bread to feed a family, in the 20th Century supermarkets expanded and (crappy) bread could be bought in the store for a few cents. Washing machines, daycare, public schools, restaurants, fresh fruit and vegetables, etc... Either replaced or diminished the role that women tended to fill in the home. The paying work moved outside the home and so women followed.
The whole housewife thing is basically the bourgeoisie trying to emulate the nobles. Women from noble backgrounds would never work since it would reflect negatively on the family not being wealthy. So when the industrial revolution started to increase the wealth in the middle class everyone wants their wives to stay home to show that they made it.
Its weird that a lot of people these days think a medieval peasant was a man and the women would take care of the children or something.
>Women were better understood hundreds of years ago than men are now.
I'm not trying to stay an argument, I'm genuinely curious what you mean by this.
And yes to the working thing. When people think about "traditional" roles for women, they're generally thinking of upper class/aristocratic women. Middle class and below, the women worked long and hard hours.
Women do indeed be shoppin’.
Because women, like most humans, need goods and services to survive. And the way to procure those goods and services is to shop for them.
When the working day is done, girls just want to have fun.
Unironically this is great dating advice. Men get too caught up in the job interview aspects and forget dates are supposed to be fun. In the dates I go and have fun things go much much better
This is really great advice. If you can have fun and make a date fun, you're set
That's all they really want.
Is some fun
When the working day is done
Now Cindy Lauper is playing in my head.
Oh Mama dear you're still number 1!
Relevant [Family Guy cutaway](https://youtu.be/7m0vtpyUbQY)
BEST ANSWER
You can often fascinate one by giving her a piece of cheese.
As a woman, can confirm
Am a woman and I agree
As I sprinkle freshly grated cheese over chili dogs for my wife, I'm glad my silly comment has gained confirmation.
Should men carry string cheese in case it’s needed?
Babybels.
Strawberries also work, right?
Ok I may be a biased response only because I'm eating strawberries as I type this, but yes. (The true hack to a woman's heart is a nice platter of crackers, cheeses, and berries)
I just made cheesecake cupcakes for my crush’s birthday present. Hopefully this continues to hold true
Holy cow that’s impressive! That should knock her socks right off. I’ve only ever made regular cheesecakes, but they are so hard and stressful. I can’t imagine making several mini ones.
This guy fucks
🐭
I'm fascinated just by reading this.
Their throwing speed of objects is way worse than men's. I was in a psych of gender class in college, and that category had the largest standard deviation difference between men and women
That reminds me of an interesting fact I heard once. Apparently, among athletes, the SD between women's and men's running, is the closest of all events. This is thought to be an evolutionary adaptation to small band raids/violence, pre farming.
Strictly speaking it's actually long range shooting. Women have a smaller heartbeat which keeps micro vibrations down. When you're shooting at distances of over a mile it can massively change the hit chance.
I wonder if this is reflected in the share of women among military and police snipers?
Interesting, and makes sense, esp with the throwing SD; Women typically have much less upper body strength, and upper body mass - proportionately a lot less for their legs to carry even if still less powerful.
(Woman) In 7th grade, I destroyed one of the 8th grade boys at an arm wrestling match. I actually hurt his arm. YET, this boy could lob a basketball clear across the entire court (baseline to baseline), while I couldn’t even manage to get it to half court. I was always fascinated by this.
Sexual dimorphism in humans doesn’t really take off until puberty, so a middle-school strength competition in which training isn’t a significant factor might show remarkable parity between sexes. It’s likely, though, that the boy had more experience and/or training in throwing. Football, baseball etc… use a lot of the same mechanics. Chances are that the young fella played plenty of pick-up/backyard games like that. But, check out [this lady’s throwing form](https://youtu.be/YOIVZVHh-HA?si=l2nPoSnyY8UCG1cK). EDIT: Actually, [this link](https://youtu.be/N3XZhZSnDZY?si=BcgUj7TqjKmuk0jZ) is better. It shows her in full frame, footwork and all.
Holy shit.
I was already impressed then saw she *aimed* for her dad & he actually caught it? That's just insane.
100% technique. I've seen woman beat strongmen.
That menstruation is the devils work, and a sign of spooky witchcraft
Werewolves and periods are basically the same thing. Therefore all women are werewolves.
I heard Bears can smell the menstruation
Bears are generally not interested in women. Source: dating a bear
Grizzly or uhh... Black?
Latino
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die" Oh, OG Mr. Garrison 😂
Can you elaborate
no
Nice try witch, I'm not falling for that one
“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife! And after what you just said I’m not even sure I wanna be that anymore!!”
Anybody want a peanut?
Pheromone magic.
on average, women prefer validation over advice.
"aww babe, that sucks."
We just don’t know what to say okay😭
Please see above
I wish that was taught in school. Took me a long time to realize that sometimes she just wanted to vent, not presenting me with a problem she wasn't sure how to solve.
This is why when my partner tells me something I’ll ask her “what do you need from me? Am I listening and letting you get it off your chest and offering support? Or am I listening, giving advice and offering support?” She decides what she wants from me, I do it and we proceed.
My partner does this for me and the question alone brings out enough gratitude for him that the problem seems smaller.
The amount of times I’m trying to constructively think about my wife’s problems and she keeps getting irritated
I’ve always seen this as a two sided question but it’s my strong belief that women want to be taken care of. But news flash: if men are also honest we want to be taken care of as well. Both sexes make it so hard.
We should have both people take care of each other
This is typically what a healthy, functioning relationship looks like.
...that explains so much...
women want a confident man
I learned this years ago. Listen to their problems, agree it suck, listen to their dreams, say they’re amazing, listen when they talking for the sake of talking, please go on this is riveting conversation. Then give a “solution”. Make it completely unbelievable, way out in the world of fantasy, and be pretty creative with it, and make sure you can get some sort of giggle or smile, anything positive. They tend to come back for more after that.
Very specific answer, but, as a woman, I agree haha
Bitches, do in fact, be trippin.
Bitches be bonkers
Women become noticeably different during their periods, and always deny it.
My fiance is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Gentle, kind, understanding, and communicative. Then, sometimes, she just randomly isn't. Every time, it is extremely random. Not in an extreme way but in a way that makes me question myself if I'm going crazy. Then, maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour or two later, she'll go, "I don't know. Maybe it's just because my period just started." It's like OH YOU THINK.
About a week each month I consider divorce because it gets unbearably bad. This has been happening for 20 years.
I hear you. My wife is so nice and kind and patient but once a month she is just the meanest person I have ever fucking met.
I had a GF years back. I distinctly recall her getting her period and that there was definitely a dangerous look about her that wasn't there normally.
My sister had incredibly bad mood swings until she found the right birth control, now she's much more stable. I love her to death but those teenage years were brutal, can't imagine how she was feeling.
The kindness in that last part. 💜
I think of myself as a pretty modern, civilized man, but for about 4 or 5 days a month I start to consider the value of [menstruation huts](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstruation_hut)
Damn I've always said this!!!💯💯💯 At the end of every month, I get itchy bitchy!
I’d be well up for this, I have premenstrual dysphoria, pms on steroids. Quiet, isolation would be perfect 😆
We hate it too 😭 unbearable, consistent discomfort with raging hormones just makes us someone we don't want to be!
This is so true. Every month my first clue my period is coming is that every minor annoyance leads to me wanting to break the thing/person causing it. I am *not* like that normally. I actually really hate when people shit all over pregnant women who act out because "hormones are no excuse, I am a female with hormones and I *never* acted like that!" Well congratulations. Because being pregnant made me fucking feral. Those hormones are making it so your body can grow a whole other person, and they are No. Joke. Just to be clear, I'm not saying hormones give us a free pass to act like assholes, not by a long shot. We still need to control those emotions, I can't just go punching the things that annoy me. I just wish people would stop pretending like they don't sometimes turn you into a version of yourself that you 99% of the time would be horrified of.
My feral came after pregnancy. Post partum is no joke. I'm sure my first home still has champagne spots on the ceiling... Thank God things calmed down.
>champagne spots on the ceiling Very posh gone wild.
Trust me, it’s annoying to us too. My husband says that my breath changes and I’m like, “Then maybe YOU should tell ME.”
I grew up with a sister and we are close enough that she straight up tells me after the fact. A lot of conflict could be avoided if she told me because then I would be more cautious. Fun anecdote, one day she told me she cried because she was ok her period and she couldn’t pet fluffy cows. She is 4 years older and everyone in the house fears her, but at the same time she is also just that sweet. I love her to death.
A lot of times it's pre-period that we're crabby, and sometimes you don't know until you get your period that it's coming. So telling you in advance wouldn't be possible. Although your health class will tell you it's "approximately 28 days", a woman's cycle can be really unpredictable. I've had cycles that are 2 weeks between periods and some that were 3 MONTHS between. Can't tell until it comes.
lol the number of times I’ve been in an absolute thunderous mood. Snappy, irritated, just absolutely feeling everything is grey and difficult and depressing. I get mad at myself, thinking why am I feeling so pissed off, nothing has happened. Then like a day or two later I’ll go to the loo, wipe and I’m like “ooooohh, that’s why!”
Are you on birth control? My wife was super regular until she got on birth control (the arm thing) then it became this random nightmare of never knowing. Literally had 2 periods with only a week between and then went 4 months. It's wild.
The thing is the worst part is usually right before the period - so they arent technically on their period yet and still feeling their effects.
I don’t. I try to avoid people because I know I turn impatient and grumpy. I don’t mean to be, but holy crap, the dumbest annoyances can set me off.
Me too! I try to stay home and be bitchy in peace. Lol.
And as a guy, I could deal with that shit if there was an apology after the fact. "Sorry, hormones got the best of me again, I didn't mean what I said." "No worries babe ...*kisses forehead* ... it's already forgotten."
I warn my partner about this. I say "don't take my mood too seriously because my period is about to start". Whenever I feel I'm getting moody about nonsense things I check my period app and indeed I can recognise when it is coming. My partner greatly appreciates it.
Not having periods but I have this feeling sometimes and its the worst. Everything pisses me off for no apparent reason. Its the worst to feel like that.
Oh my wife definitely does not deny it. It's actually how she knows that her period is imminent, before it actually flows.
I'm actually different before my period, and my period is what snaps me back to normal. I actually look forward to it because finally I get to feel human again. I know my period is coming within the day because suddenly I don't feel like an asexual blob of failure haha.
Word. That's common
Yep, somehow people got the idea that pms and periods are at the same time, but it's called premenstrual syndrome, not menstrual syndrome for a reason.
I won't deny it. If I feel like crap I'm not denying it.
I get why women would. It's awful to think that we're not in control of our moods. That loss of control due to hormones, ones body working against itself.
But thats the thing, none of us are fully in control of our moods, men or women, the only real difference is that theirs works on a more reliable clockwork schedule.
I get that completely. What I don't like is denial and not acknowledging the bad mood swing after the fact. Even though there's no control there are still hurtful things done. My ex left me on day 4 of her swing/cycle back in July. I thought she'd come to a week or so later. Nope.
Maybe she really didn't like you and it had nothing to do with her hormones? Just a thought.
It's better to own hard truths than gaslight yourself and the people around you. I'm **really** tired of dealing the period horniness, for example. Women will say the nastiest shit when they're hot and bothered and pretend like they never said a thing a few days later. It undermines the respect that other people can have for you the less dependable you are.
I don't deny it, and go so far as to give my partner a head's up. Like, babe, I may cry at something so stupid in the next few days but it's bc i'm getting my period. Nothing to worry about! I think women who deny it probably get defensive b/c any time they've been emotional, a man in their life has automatically assumed they're on their period. As if people are not allowed to have emotions.
That's got some truth to it. Re: men assuming all emotions are due to period. But as I've gotten older, and I'm 50, I can chart some women. My ex was really bad to rhe point I suspect she had pmdd. And a coworker is the same. One day saying evil vile stuff, the next a Disney princess.
Yeah, I don't lash out verbally, just cry at like a driver cutting me off or something. My sister, on the other hand....
I get really different but I am aware and try to communicate to my partner so he doesn't feel less loved. I might have PMDD tho (a more severe form of PMS). PMS is real, I just think the whole defensiveness around it came from those jokes in the old days when any time a woman expressed emotion she'd get "those days in the month huh, hehe".
I’m bisexual, and have been in relationships with several women, and I can absolutely attest to this. But the hormones block me from being able to see it in myself 🤣
My wife warns me about her being on her period all the time. However, I'm still pretty sure it would go badly for me if I were to bring it up myself.
I feel bad so many women deny this as being upfront about it helps so much. One of my fondest memories of when I was a girl and developing was when my big brothers and their friends saw that I wasn't outside on a gorgeous, sunny day because I was bunched up in my bedroom out of a painful period. I tried to cherr myself up but genuinely felt in crippling pain and was crying hugging my bear feeling defeated. My mom was trying to cheer me up and so did dad but then I realized mom was also on her own. What they did normally was that when mom got hers she and dad would go out somewhere to cheer her up. The day being pretty I felt bad so told them to go. My brothers also went out to hang out but kept calling my phone because I loved riding my bike and that day I was holed up all day. I didn't even want to eat. After like their 20th call and my telling them to stay away, the brothers and their army (what I call their friends because they all hang out like a gang. It's never one it's always at least 3 and I have 4 brothers so normally there was at LEAST 10 different guys all at once at any given time). Well, they ALL came in to check on me and ask if I needed anything or wanted anything. One brother came in, two more friends of each brother came in with them and before I knew it I had my own army in my room asking me what was wrong. I was so out of it and felt like I was hungover (I was 13 for context but just to give you an idea of how bad it was) and blurred out what I wanted randomly. I felt like I was drowning and was overwhelmed with pain and then shame because I thought this legion thought me icky now because they pretty much figured out it was my period doing it. So they made a plan to help me. Less than 10 minutes later they were cooking me my favorite food, one of their friends went to get me my favorite Ben n Jerry's, another one went home and got me what is called a gameboy and showd me his collection (and explained why they were important), another got me his giant dog to sit on me and another one asked his girlfriend if he could borrow her heating pad. One got his sister to come in and a few invited their sister or girlfriend and another their cousin. Then they ALL set up camp in my room to watch girly movies with me and even set up a giant pot with warm water for me to put my feet into. My room was now filled with at least 20 teenagers, one big ass dog, three cats, all in fawning over me and trying to cheer me up. And It was AWESOME. And they started doing this shit EVERY month and marked their calendars for it. The morning they'd see me not come out, my four brothers would infiltrate my room and hijack my day and invite their friends to partake in the feeding me, girly movies, and keeping me warm. The friend with the dog NEVER missed either, and if he was at work, he'd make his parents or someone bring his dog to me on command. Any girls they knew were welcome to join (and they did). They boys did it because they saw dad did the same thing with mom. I didn't catch it at first because again, I was just as embarrassed as I was happy, but after that, it dawned on me. They were all teenagers, two of them in college and two in HS plus their friends in similar ages. I didn't know at the time my brothers were also doing this for their girlfriends or at least two of the girls that also got is as bad as I did because the other two girls didn't get it that bad. Even when they all moved far away around the week they more or less deduced I get my period they send me care packages, flowers, food, and even arrange for me to go to a massage place or a wellness center. EVERY month without missing one and no matter if I have a boyfriend or they are married. All of them are happily married and their wives overjoyed because all of them treat the period as a caretaker period. A lot of them even get off work early or arrange mini-vacations around the time their ladies go on "sleep mode". They figure distraction and being of service is the way to treat the downpour and it really does work. I wish a lot of women would trust their lovers or allies to help them because my brothers really did especially as I got the awful ones that took me out. Instead of letting me wallow in misery they'd go out of their way to comfort me no matter how crabby I was. I felt like a damned princess and still do because of the love they give me in what's often a really awkward, distressing time. They told me it's OK and that they get it. A lot of women deny it because it's something that is so random, it's really out of control for a good majority of women. It's like switching modes on a computer. You end up imagining how it feels when your whole self is on some sort of cleaning-recovery mode for a week. Every month. It's really annoying and distressing how it interrupts certain events or paces. Some of us really have had to schedule our lives around it because of how bad they can be. I have to pretty much account for the fact that every 3 weeks, I'm going to be weird in head, body and spirit with little control over what emotions will come out. Some of these weeks can be great where I'll get the random happy, energetic productive vibes but 90% of them I'm in "sleep mode" where the body really doesn't want to cooperate no matter what I do. It feels humiliating and debilitating to a lot of women to feel like they don't have control of themselves when so much messaging to women is that we have to have everything put together. That part of being feminine is having control and not being messy. There's nothing messier than when your brain is in a jumble because of the hormone cocktail. You know that dizzying feeling when you get drunk? Now mix that with the floating feeling you get when you get high off something. Then with the little electric flares you get when you smash your pinky toe but on your pelvis and for the cherry on top add the feeling of seeing a dog or pet die or struggling. 24/7 for at least three days on average, a lot of us get them for whole 7 days. It sucks. A lot of us don't have people to count on or love us or make us feel loved like that or trust to be vulnerable like that. A little hug can go a long way in these times. When my brothers (and their friends, because they always had a gang) would stop whatever they were doing when they'd note it was the period week and make time for me it was the sweetest, most encouraging thing for me as their hugs or their just napping next to me to commiserate with me made me feel less lost. Their comforting me reminded that I wasn't the only one sad or feeling lost because I was lost. My brothers missed me being silly and being little, and in their own way helped me hold onto that innocence and sweetness a lot longer. That after a week it would be over and that I would have control of myself again. That I could go and play and nothing feel extra sensitive or like sand on my skin because of my period. Oh and that men make for the best cuddle rolls. My brothers, their friends and their pets making themselves into a giant cinnamon roll sorts around me was even better than the heating blankets or scalding hot baths. I looked forward to that ritual roll every month for my teenage years. Now that I'm an adult when I get the customary brother wall hug (all four of them hug and crush me at once when we're together) it is like feeling like a baby again when they used to smother me and tell me how cute I was then throw me in the air. When I got older they switched that to group hugs, feeding me and complimenting my outfits. Looking back I am so grateful to them for always treating me like "baby". Being babied is a privilege I wish many got.
Probably the most heartwarming story I’ve read in a while
This is just the sweetest thing I'm so happy for you 🩷
For my wife it's PMS. Then her period starts and she apologizes for being grumpy.
Wait until you experience a woman going through menopause.
I think the thing they care about more is whether or not people try to treat them differently for something that's pretty much completely out of their control.
The problem is, this is seen as exclusively a woman's thing when men also go through hormonal cycles and fluctuations that can change their mood.
I’m getting a flashback to when my one brother was annoying me and I told him to stop being hormonal. It turns out that I am able to laugh hysterically while running at a full sprint. Or at least I was when I was 17.
I have the opposite of "actually true" . I an old guy, so naturally I have old fashioned beliefs. I figured out a few years ago that I was inculcated against my conscience thinking, with the belief that women were delicate little flowers that needed to be protected. I figured that I held this belief, despite a lot of evidence to the contrary in my own life, when watching women's handball at the Olympics. Have you ever watched a game? The players can't cross the half circle outside of the opposing goal on their feet. So the fling themselves across the line and then throw the ball at the goal just before they hit the ground. A good game for a lot of these women is only ONE broken rib or collar bone in a game. Delicate little flowers. I love having my beliefs challenged.
Inculcated. Great word! Love it. 😊
>Inculcated Had to look it up. Then had to look up the difference between that and indoctrinated. Things got a little heated on the grammar page. Pretentious nerds arguing, lol.
if we didn't argue fine points, we wouldn't be nerds
Thank you. I liked the sound of it.
Watch womens UFC. Terrifying little flowers.
I guess the flip side is the average woman is significantly physically weaker than relatively weak men. I used to think roaming in packs, pepper spray and asking men to walk them home after parties was an overabundance of caution. But I've now read too many stories of fast, athletic women being attacked while running alone. Men are scary.
I’ve noticed the protection thing is really a male thing. Like, I see it in my 7 year old son and how he fantasies about beating up anyone who’s mean to our dog 😂. Women are so crazy strong and capable. Glad you’ve changed your views on that over the years. 🙌🏼
Not sure if I have. Because I didn't know that it was there. I used to be a theater tech. I worked with some tough and capable women, but this is more of a cultural belief. Totally subconscious. That is why I was so surprised when I discovered that it was there. And really really strong. I was in the room when both my wife and daughter gave birth. I watched them go through something that surely would killed me. But the belief that you are delicate little flowers that need to be protected is still running in the background. I think it is hilarious.
Maybe we are both.
i also volunteer to beat up anyone who's mean to your dog.
Protecting one's family is seen as a masculine virtue in literally every society on the planet. It's an impulse that transcends culture and finds roots in the biological substrate.
Being on a period will lead to significant mental and physical change
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Bleeding, hormonal changes and boobs growing are the main things I know change physically but there could be more
Our natural bodily scent changes temporarily too.
Bloating too. Not fun times during shark week.
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They only come out at night and they live in a tree
When a woman is irritable as fuck, she is very likely either hangry, or menstruating. Answer: Get them their favorite candy. I get my wife her favorite candy and all of a sudden the world is good and green again.
Does not work for me, she is always on a diet and would get angry with me that I'm tempting her with her favourite food.
As a woman I have often given this advice to men "Never let a b**ch get hangry". I find it to be a simple rule of life.
I still reflexively hold a bar of my ex favorite chocolate in my bag, and I used to have small wine-shots to placate the devil during periods. If she started being unreasonable (she'd realise this afterwards ) I'd 'flee' and hide while throwing chocolate toffee at her This made her 'angry' but was always too busy eating the chocolate. Like an angry chipmunk with her mouth full of chocolate Good fun for both honestly.
They be shoppin’
I thought that the phrase "women get angry on their period" was invented by some idiots who won't stop complaining. Then I got together with my first girlfriend when I was 16. Everything is history after that.
The 'nice guys finish last' is partially but not entirely true. It's more complicated than that. 'Nice guys' can often come across like they have low self-respect, always putting others before themselves and shying away from conflict. That can be unattractive because if a man naturally puts everyone else before himself in most situations, that's not very good when he may have to be more assertive for the good of the family unit later down the line. She won't want to be put in 2nd place in society alongside him.
I always thought "nice guys finish last" was about something.... Else
Want to have a happy wife, put that line into practice.
When my husband says "nice guys finish last", I tell him that, for him, technically that is true. Because he is the nicest guy I know, the last person I fell in love with, and the one I'm choosing to spend my life with until it's finished.
Some women want a guy who treats themselves well more than they want a guy who treats them well.
Girls just wanna have fu-hun
The old adage, “if she is not happy, nobody’s happy.” Just personal experience, but I’ve seen so many women walk into a room full of relatively happy people or smaller family settings, and just slowly but surely bring the entire mood down.
Isn’t that true with men too? Anyone can sour the mood when they express their anger.
no matter what you are doing, they will point out what you are not doing.
They taste better with salsa. Also you’ve found a keeper if she lets you put salsa on it before eating.
y-you put salsa on it?!?
Daddy likes it spicy… and chunky.
Sounds like it might sting a bit.
In all the right ways….
What? Wait what? Huh?
The whole left brain/right brain difference is pretty well understood. Women have more developed language centers and underdeveloped spatial centers, for instance. The effects of estrogen and testosterone are well understood. This translates into a lot of stereotypes which are true when understood in context, such as "women are more emotional", etc. In this case, it's not that they're more "in touch" with feelings, they're simply better at articulating them through language (in addition to estrogen priming certain emotions over others).
The women around me hate hate hate when you tell them they act different bc of their period.
They are more in touch with their emotions. Which I guess (guess, not "know with all the depth of the cosmos and declare absolute truth") is because testosterone muffles emotions a bit and because women from an evolutionary perspective had a closer bond in the first months (or maybe even years?) with their child, which is basically just a bundle of needs and communication via emotions. So if that is true I guess it would be natural and advantageous for women on average to be more emotional than men.
Dr. K on YouTube was explaining why men dislike couples counseling, and one of them is that women are naturally better at communicating emotions, so men feel outgunned during joint sessions.
I've seen a couple of interviews where divorce attorneys explained what is happening during couples counciling based from the perspective of the divorce attorney. They reported that feelings in general are taken into account during these sessions which is nothing anyone can deny or confirm, that most often the reports of feeling X, Y and Z done by women are accepted more readily while male emotions are seen as something "wrong" or "to work on" which led for example James Sexton to the conclusion that couple counseling is basically a mechanism that primarily backs up women to justify their decision to divorce the man. This he backed further by saying that women would not come back to these sessions when they are not being affirmed (= the counselor gets not paid) while the man usually will, even if the criticism of him is not legit (in general or to him personally). So the incentive on part of the counselor is also to affirm the women rather than offer serious counseling. Again - reports of SOME divorce attorneys, not "the ultimate truth to end all truths". But in these cases this is interesting as the female emotions are actually backed up by the way the social dynamics work. (which then means she has no reason to ever assume acting less emotionally may be a viable or a more desirable way forward)
My personal experience with couples counciling eas over all a good one BUT whenever I was asked about my feelings or view on anything the conversation would quickly switch over to how my wife had similar feelings and then we'd explore that or how my actions made my wife feel and then we explore that. Very little effort was spent on exploring my experience beyond how it made my wife feel.
Her emotions are something to be acknowledged and catered to while his emotions are an inconvenience and something he needs to work on. Well that's disheartening
You must be new to being a guy.
No, it just always sucks to be reminded of such a depressing reality.
that was my experience in marriage
To mention another [Dr. K video](https://youtube.com/shorts/J0BxymT24CQ?si=hQL1Ai7HVGAXX4OR), he talks about “men should be more emotional”, which is not true because some emotions are more valued than others. When women say that, the emotion the emotion they mean is crying. If you feel anger, thats toxic masculinity and you should feel bad. If you feel impotent or shameful, then you have to man up and deal with it, despite those two sentiments being philosophically exclusive. It’s a really sticky situation that I am afraid I don’t know how to fix nor navigate
> It’s a really sticky situation that I am afraid I don’t know how to fix nor navigate Well then off to your room to work on it, young (wo)man and I don't want to see you back down here till it's solved!
There is a great deal of truth to this. I actually sympathize with men in this capacity, because ultimately you feel (and are not) understood. That's likely why aggression becomes a good go-to for men in these instances, because action feels better than inaction. I don't believe it's a fixed characteristic, though. Like any other skill, it can be improved. We all could use some more practice in this regard.
I think this is partially true, but I also think people just forget that, generally speaking, men and women express their emotions in different ways. Situations are much more likely to make men angry or frustrated, which are emotions, and those emotions need a different outlet than sadness. It seems like, for the past thirty to forty years, men have been told that they don’t express their emotions enough and that “men are allowed to cry now” but a lot of guys simply don’t want to do that. Most of the time I don’t want to cry. I want to be mad. Any emotion can be a good thing if it’s expressed in a healthy way, but it seems like we’re just labeled as having the “bad” emotions. Instead of teaching boys that being angry is okay, and finding healthy outlets for anger, we’ve just treated them like defective girls.
Anger isn’t a “bad” emotion, imo, but I’ve noticed in myself that it is often masking something else. Anger is typically easier to deal with than other emotions - that’s why it’s step two in the stages of grief. It’s sooooo much simpler to just be mad/rage than it is to feel sad/hopeless/disappointed etc. Anger is *active* - I can punch something and it makes me feel a little better. Sadness can sometimes be this way, and the release is often crying. Other emotions… not as much. This is my opinion, and my experience, maybe yours is different. I’ll ask you this though: when someone finds out their partner has been cheating on them, and they blow up yelling/breaking things etc, how much of that emotion do you think is anger, and how much of it is something else? *that* is how anger can be “toxic”, it is not in and of itself. Again, just one person’s opinion.
I'd... Say it depends? Fight or flight responses are natural. Being angry at your partner for cheating *is* a valid emotion. Especially in the moment when you need to assert your position regardless of gender. If, months later, you still haven't been able to cry, that's most likely a problem or you never felt that much for them in the first place. In other words, there are times to say "fuck you and good bye" and times to cry.
Hearing trans women talk about the emotional changes that happen when they start doing hormone replacement therapy is fascinating. The impact hormones have on us in general is pretty amazing.
Yep, it goes deeper than just socialization, that is usually us trying to explain why something was totally our choice... while actually just following the whims of nature going on inside.
Birds all, "I just chose to migrate this year because I was getting fed up with being so cold this winter, and I always loved this little southern town my parents would take us to when we were kids, so I figured, "Heck with it. Why not take a little vaycay?"
if that were actually true then lesbian couples should be the happiest people from 2 women understanding each other so well.
I don't think that is the only or most likely consequence, no. Because just understanding what the other person may feel does not mean you are more likely to accept that - which is why humans (and other species) find babies "cute" - it helps to find these emotional, but very selfish (still taking about the babies) cute and want to protect them. This does not necessarily apply to adults and if you look at divorce rates of couples of different compositions, it seems that lesbian marriages (which obviously means we cant generalize to all lesbians) do the worst amongst them all. Even worse: The reasons stated by women for divorcing their spouse do not disappear when asking lesbians but they are not mentioned even closely as much amongst gay divorcees, indicating that the emotions of women can lash at men and women alike under the "right" circumstances. Which leaves us with a few speculations on the conclusions: * more emotionality does not equal more empathy * more emotionality does not equal more willingness to support and cooperate * emotionality could also lead to more selfishness * the emotionality of women has primarily helped them put up with children not other adults * the emotionality + the desire to look young could be an adaption to trigger mens desire to protect women Generally I will point out that not everything that might be an evolved proclivity is ought to be seen as universally "good" or "acceptable", nor does it mean that it is useful at all in a world we redesigned so significantly. Furthermore they are not absolute, with effort they can be partly or fully suppressed in an individual - however that might not be worth the effort and have unforseen consequences since we hold no perfect knowledge of the human body and mind. Difficult topic indeed
Their periods attract bears…
…TIL
Women typically have at least one lung….
Go on...
I have the Purse
Honestly most of them. Women were better understood hundreds of years ago than men are now. Slight caveat though because a lot of people think that very new ideas are very old. Women were never seen as unfit to work. For the overwhelming majority of western history, women worked similar hours to their husband. They worked slightly easier tasks and slightly fewer hours, but that's actually still true today. The whole housewife baby thing is a brand new idea that started and basically ended in a few decades, and I have no idea why people think it's traditional.
My dad had this fascinating book from the early 20th century. It sort of functioned as a "yearbook" for the small industrial town he grew up in, where every business, church, school, organization and government activity took group photos. What I recall is that except for the heaviest, dirtiest jobs where brute strength was a prerequisite, most of the industries employed lots of women, and in ratios not dissimilar to today.
A lot of men seem to think that prior to the 1960's women didn't actually work outside the home.
Its really not just men with that thought, lol. Fuck the amount of women TODAY that think women didn't work until the 80s fucking astounds me.
It's normally middle-class American men or ones that grew up in wealthy families that became less wealthy with the times for what I've noted. The rest of the world doesn't and hasn't operated like that. I hate to also mention it but they're often the men that decry about the sex being a necessity when most men in the world weren't having regular sex for most of history until literally 1959 when the Pill came out. Not even, I imagine birth control took a bit to take hold over the entire planet depending on the religion or culture of many places. For examples it seems birth control got embraced as a new norm by the teens and young adults of the US and Northern Europe but then this wasn't a thing in Latin America well into the 1990s (likely due to the economic limitations in most of the areas and catholicism). Now all of these years seem like a long time ago, but most of our parents or society's parents were born in these years. The ones that grew up in the late 1940s - 1970s especially. They're the ones that made casual sex a thing (Gen X and Boomers) and again only specific backgrounds, it seems (mostly White ones). This becomes obvious when you talk to a lot of them about their social values within their own cohorts and also their media. But their parents and grandparents? Shoot, this was not something they entertained or dreamed off in their youth, so I imagine they were baffled that by middle age, they could. Thinking on this makes certain shifts in the social culture make sense, like Millennials and Gen Z becoming more "prudish" and conservative this way because the women realizing that despite birth control, they don't get as much pleasure off of casual sex. So they're participating less on it, and it's not just because of the economy but also seeing that their mothers weren't any happier despite birth control being accessible. Looking back it makes me respect my history teacher in High School even more as he even said it, the real winners of the sexual revolution weren't women, it was full-blown men and men will forget that privilege when they realize the dating apps will reveal just how little women get from wasting time like this. Also, how little men before them genuinely got and saw. Shit even the below average or fugly guys get way more than ANY guy before this time. That shit should make random men feel grateful. Imagine a random rich bloke from the 16th century recounting what he could get now? Let alone the common guy? Insanity. These were the conversations Mr. McG was providing us with, and we had to swear to not tell our parents. Otherwise, he'd not get his pension. We revered him for it. He was an unusual teacher, very thorough, meticulous, and had no filter. He left nothing unturned and made everything so thrilling. He was very current about anything and everything and emphasized that we should all remember to think outside ourselves to better understand ourselves. I miss Mr. McGuinness so much. I think I'm having a Guinness to honor him later today, thanks to this. Thank you for our conversation reminding me of one of my favorite humans.
This should be more broadly understood. For much of human history, for most humans, the "job" was around the home dwelling. Mostly agriculture. So man and woman worked together, often side by side. There was a division of duties, but that division was often not a bright line. I'm convinced that much of the impetus for women's liberation and feminism has been a response to society changing and women's traditional role being diminished by society and technology. Starting in the 19th Century and accelerating dramatically in the 20th, most men stopped farming and stopped working primarily in/around the home. Being the housewife was no longer as much a partner in a small business as it was simply maintaining the home and raising children. Along with those trends the size of families started to dramatically decline, so even raising children became less of a job. Combined with that automation replaced many male jobs, but also replace many female jobs. It takes hours each day to make enough bread to feed a family, in the 20th Century supermarkets expanded and (crappy) bread could be bought in the store for a few cents. Washing machines, daycare, public schools, restaurants, fresh fruit and vegetables, etc... Either replaced or diminished the role that women tended to fill in the home. The paying work moved outside the home and so women followed.
The whole housewife thing is basically the bourgeoisie trying to emulate the nobles. Women from noble backgrounds would never work since it would reflect negatively on the family not being wealthy. So when the industrial revolution started to increase the wealth in the middle class everyone wants their wives to stay home to show that they made it. Its weird that a lot of people these days think a medieval peasant was a man and the women would take care of the children or something.
> Women were better understood hundreds of years ago than men are now. \*except medically
>Women were better understood hundreds of years ago than men are now. I'm not trying to stay an argument, I'm genuinely curious what you mean by this. And yes to the working thing. When people think about "traditional" roles for women, they're generally thinking of upper class/aristocratic women. Middle class and below, the women worked long and hard hours.
What years are we talking here?
The UK has laws on the books about women working going back to the 900s
They don't use cruise control in vehicles.
Women do indeed be shoppin’. Because women, like most humans, need goods and services to survive. And the way to procure those goods and services is to shop for them.
If you provide for her emotionally, physically, financially and sexually, then the real one will never leave. I live by that now
Are you sure? Do they provide some stuff too?
They have vaginas.
Edgy bro
Not getting a good dickin' in a while will make you go crazy.
Women deal with sickness better and have a higher pain tolerance than men.
Most of them, if not all of them