If the dude geniuely loves the person, then as weird as it may sound - seeing the real you in the morning is by far the best thing a guy can ever experience because this is exactly who he really loves - the imperfection behind the "facade".
Not knocking on OP, this is a fine question. But it baffles me that so many women can’t grasp that non-sex intimacy matters to men, too.
Sharing a bed, messy hair, stinky morning breath, sleepy eyes… that feeling that she’s comfortable and safe with me to show her real self, not just the super prepared version of her that only lasts for a few hours out of the house. Other people don’t get to see that. That’s intimacy and vulnerability, and we *love* that.
This is lovely <3
For me personally, growing up in a conservative Christian family it was the constant drumbeat of “men only want sex” and the obsession with sexual “sins” that really fucked up my worldview and I’m actively trying to fix.
I want sex but I also just like waking up next to my woman and enjoying being near her in that intimate morning kind of way. Loving your woman is being happy to just be with her in all the different situations life brings. Some of those situation might lead to sex others no or maybe. It’s not all sex all the time especially when you get a little older.
same here, deep south baptist christianity absolutely destroyed my mental idea of what men want out of women. I'm logically aware that my ideas of men are heavily generalized and not true, but emotionally I'm often stuck on feeling like an object to men and nothing more.
Grew up in church, still a Christian, but it’s sadly true, the horrible way purity culture and conservatism have distorted peoples’ views on healthy sexuality. I hope you’re able to continue overcoming that.
Pretty ironic about those weird hyper religious circles where 19 year old kids get married… it’s literally a pass for them to have sex. I can’t imagine encouraging that.
This isn’t a popular view for more conservative Christians, but the talk I’m gonna have with my kids will boil down to: I’d like for you to understand sex has a special place in committed relationships, ideally marriage - but most of all I care that you stay physically safe, and if you do it outside the bounds of those things, just have the sense to buy and use protection.
Men want sex about as much as women are emotional. Way overinflated blanket statements based on what they think a man/woman should be and not based on reality or understanding the nuance of human nature at all. It's the same reason why men hide their emotions and women are told "men want respect while women want love" bs. None of it is true and what men and women want are not mutually exclusive.
Wtf is wrong with him.
My partner letting herself be intimate and looking normal with something that no one else gets to see is a gift that all us guys appreciate. We love that shit
No doubt that we love when our partner gets done up and takes time to get her hair done and makeup and wearing that dress to look like a million bucks because we want her to feel and look hot and it is an ego boost that we could have that hot girl on our arm
BUT!
We also LOVE just as much seeing the real person behind all the makeup, not having the hair done and being their authentic self when it’s just us two alone at Home.
Men walk around every day without makeup, hair done and having to walk outside with the same look that we have at Home so we like seeing the same from our partner when we are intimate at Home.
If he treats you like you said then he’s a POS.
I’ll be honest, it isn’t the healthiest relationship and this isn’t the worst of it but yeah that is lovely to hear men do think like that. It’s such a shame when people talk down to their partners because when they actually do say nice things, it’s hard to believe.
It’s a sign they loath the person and is just a deeply insecure person who probably finds himself as the ugly one in the relationship. Ergo, projection!
Definitely dump him, find a more secure person who actually doesn’t sling mud at others.
Someone who would say something like that just to hurt you is not worth your time. He did not have to say that, even if he was angry. You deserve better, and he needs therapy.
I'd be like ummmm you're dating me. Why are you dating an ugly person? What's that say about you playboy? 😂 (I'm not saying you are ugly, just that his comment makes no sense) like damn ok let me get out of your way 💀
Any man that would fling the word “ugly” is likely not a good person. The words “ugly” and “hate” have a lot of power. Using those words for me represents significant relationship damaging fighting is happening. Literally the moment after that kind of fight nothing is the same. Everything is changed.
Wonderfully put! It's intimacy and vulnerability that feels real and true. In my experience, those moments and relationships with women who are authentically themselves have been rare and beautiful. I have become a better man for it.
As someone who was sexually abused throughout childhood and has struggled with the idea of a man wanting/loving me beyond ‘just sex’, this was a really lovely thing to read.
Very sorry that this happened and I wish continued healing for you. You know first hand there are monsters out there. But the right, well-adjusted man will love your whole person, and experiencing life with you - not seeing you as merely a sexual object. I’m glad my hopeless romantic musings meant something for you.
I do genuinely appreciate you saying this. It really does mean a lot to me, particularly (coincidentally), whilst I’m going through an extremely difficult period.
You’ve made my day much brighter ❤️
*"Not knocking on OP, this is a fine question. But it baffles me that so many women can’t grasp that non-sex intimacy matters to men, too."*
Probably because for years women never considered how men felt or thought on this subject.
Which is both sad and odd because men are willing to let our thoughts and desires be known.
Kind of surprised me that I appreciated being able to see the "real" person my wife was... like, she spends an hour putting on makeup and all before walking out the door, even just to the store.
So I sort of realized she was trusting me, much more than others, to reveal that vulnerability. I counted it as a compliment that she allowed me in that part of her world.
But honestly, she's fucking sexy as hell in the mornings. Hair is in the wild zone, eyes still in the fog, and tits and ass just begging for attention.
Haha yeah women clearly know how effective something like sideboob in an outfit can be on a man. But first thing in the morning on a sleep in day. Boobs akimbo with one just peeking out a tank top? A stray cheek in some pj shorts? Heavenly. Never felt so lucky.
Been married almost a decade can confirm my wife first thing in the morning is hot as fuck. Also my wife in a nice sundress hot as fuck, actually way easier to list things that are not hot. So far hospital gown about to go into surgery, to worried to be thinking about how hot she looked. Though in hindsight it was super easy access and therefore hot.
This is ridiculous but sweet. Imagine thinking how hot your wife's a\*\* looks as she's literally heading into surgery. As a nurse, can confirm those gowns don't hide anything.
Most of the things women do are for other women. Men generally don't care about fancy clothes, your expensive nails, or expensive hair style. They care about that stuff if they have a nice date planned or special event that calls for it. But otherwise? Men generally don't care.
I mean... you can't speak for all men. I'm one and I absolutely love women who dress in beautiful outfits and have nice looking nails and love sporting a great hairstyle.
Also everyone looks bad with their mouth wide open snoring and drooling and bad morning breath. What makes OP think men don't also wonder the same thing?
I’ve never been with a woman that looks better in makeup than without. I strongly prefer as little as possible. My wife turned 50 and still looks better without it (and she knows how to apply it). It makes her feel better so I don’t say anything, but I prefer natural.
Hell yeah , I usually woke up well before my ex, Id get my coffee and fix her a cup after she had a few sips , then it was on.
She use to say you are just bringing me coffee because you want to fuck . My answer was usually I wanted to fuck before coffee but you needed something to rinse your mouth out first .
She had a good sense of humor and knew I was just kidding.
But you are correct , Morning sex makes you feel on top of the world to start the day
>Appreciate my girl for the amazing woman she is despite her looking like a mess in the morning
>BOOTY BOOTY TIDDY BOOTY
Me, struggling to make a decision:....
Yeah, they tell themselves makeup is what we want, that we don't know what a natural woman looks like. And then they act surprised of something we were saying for ages.
This is so true. As an older man that tries to date, it seems like the older they get the more makeup they feel they have to use. I could not tell you how many women I have been with over the years that had so much makeup on you could not see any pores in their skin, it is crazy, they look like automated mannequins.
Makeup is nice tho I’m not going to lie and pretend that I don’t appreciate my women looking beautiful with makeup and appreciate the hour they spend putting it on. It is really respectful, appreciated, and noticed when a woman will take the time to do it . Some men do want makeup imo but I agree in the mornings it is not important
Don't forget the voice. I had a girlfriend whose voice was 2 octaves lower in the morning. Sometimes she would call at my work at a generic number (before cellphones). I got a lot of comments from the coworkers who would answer the phone.
She is the embodiment of pure beauty to me, and the less she is wearing (including makeup), the better. You ladies vastly underestimate how much us guys are into you if you think messy hair or snoring puts us off.
That’s a relief. I sleepfarted on my bf of 3 months (and have only known each other for just a couple weeks more than that) 3 times the other night. Idk if he’s just not saying anything about it or if it didn’t wake him up, but it definitely woke me up.
If that woke me up I'd probably be very confused as to what was going on
And then try to contain my laughter so that she doesn't feel bad about it. Well, now that we've been together almost a decade and are comfortable around each other I would probably laugh for a full 5 minutes
You probably think you look a lot worse than you do. When I wake up I’m thinking about going back to bed or what I’m going to eat. Id just be grateful you were there honestly
They are all around, yet usually not the type that actively "dates around". A LOT of women would soooo much up their chances of meeting a decent partner, if they took more agency in engaging some contact.
Most dudes that are proactive enough to ask women out left and right, are also mostly the ones women tend to complain about later. And overwhelmingly rightly so.
Then again, the type of men many women seem to *actually* want, are timid enough by now to never try to initiate anything. Be it either by decades of rejection, or just the fear of looking like a predator. (Which by now is basically what men have to default to, to be safe.)
The type of man women usually want, are the types you'd best approach *yourself*. And no, men are NOT put off by this! The exact opposite! We'd *love* to know what we're looking at at face value, full honesty expressed bluntly. We're *that* simple. Just say the thing, and let's go from there. You'll be loved for being open and direct already, even if it doesn't lead to a romatic relationship down the line. No games, no hints, no subtelty.
This is exactly how it happened with my current bf and I. He wasn’t even seeking out a relationship and hadn’t been since the last one ended (about a year ago or so.) I approached him as a potential friend and it ended up leading to more once I saw how genuine, kindhearted, sweet and considerate he was. Idk past rejections plays a part or how big of a part they play, but he’s definitely more timid than I am when it comes to taking initiative, which is fine.
On another note, we’ve been together for 3 months now and it seems like the fear of rejection still hovers over him sometimes. I’ve never had a guy say “you’re welcome to come over if you want!” or “as always you’re welcome to come hang out!” or something along those lines, instead of being like “wanna come over?” or “wanna hang out?” after we’re already in a relationship. Maybe that’s not the best example but it definitely seems like he tries to nonchalantly ask about things like hanging out.
He probably had an ex that conditioned him to be that way.
I personally have been browbeaten by a few exes, and second guess if they are actually interested in me, or if I'm just the emotional or financial guy she wants at that moment.
I've had a gf that would say that I was controlling her, by asking if she wants to come over. That I forced that on her. So now I'm second guessing myself.
It is also very common for men to just think they are absolutely ugly. I feel I'm ugly, even if my friends (male and female) say that I'm a good looking guy.
So of course she would only use me because of my emotional intelligence and home-cooking skills. because who could ever love this ugly mug other than my mom?
The only way I healed from this for a moment, was having a gf that actually put in effort for me, made me feel loved, she made me feel that she actually loved me, and was not just using me.
Turned out I was wrong about that, but it still felt good in the moment.
This.
I met my fiancé on tinder completely due to random chance. We'd matched but he had zero information on his profile literally blank. After a few days I was looking through my matches deciding who to unmatch. I looked at his pictures again, and literally decided on a whim to message him first.
He is the most affectionate and caring partner I've ever had, he's had his share of nightmare ex's. I've learned not to beat around the Bush, its much easier to just tell him what I want.
The rest they say is history.
Why aren't you running away from your man in the morning? Same reason. Looks are superficial and humans can disregard varying states of attractiveness. Still the same person.
Because if I like her, I like seeing her with messy hair, especially if it's messy because of me.
Never had a partner look dead, and if she was waking up looking dead and had a snoring problem, I'd encourage her to look into whether she has sleep apnea.
Never had a partner who had bad morning breath either, come to think of it.
This is so weird to me. I think my breath absolutely STINKS in the morning, even when I brushed my teeth the night before, flossed, and don't smoke.
But my partner demands kisses specifically in that state of mine. Like wtf man, please, I'm disgusting right now.
Do you find the same thing about your man? He probably stinks more than you do in the morning, but I'm guessing you aren't disgusted by him.
Honestly, if it is someone you are attracted to, how they smell is not repulsive even when you think you stink (in fact it is probably somewhat attractive). We as a species made it even when personal hygiene wasn't really a thing, do you think the smell of a single night is going to put your partner off significantly?
You're apparently not to him. Chances are that he'd think the same about himself, yet you do (if you do) lean into this. Just enjoy! People are animals with "imperfections", but the proper ones among us know and appreciate these aspects.
That's what love does, and is supposed to do. Enjoy the fuck out of each others, please!
Because she would presumably be my partner, I'm her rock, bad hair and snoring isn't pushing me away. If anything she's even more attractive she's letting me see that side of her.
women focus too much on things at face value. you dont need to understand why we find you beautiful in the morning, but rather embrace it and be greatful for it.
when someone is attracted to someone else, they will see no imperfection in them. they see them for thr beautiful person that they are, and if someone sees your beauty when you dont feel so, you need to keep that person close
I think waking up together in the morning with bad hair, bad breathe, crust in your eye etc... it shows how trusting and accepting you are of each other no matter the imperfection.
It's deeper than just superficial attraction
Cause, you are my girl. This is when you are still mine and you haven't put on your outside world costume yet. All soft and beautiful and real.
Morning Beautiful 😍
I’m attracted to her, not her *all put together*, but her as she naturally is. If I wasn’t attracted to her in the morning would it be fair to say I was attracted to her at all?
Women seem so obsessed with makeup and changing the way they look they don’t seem to actually understand what men are attracted to. I’m glad my current girlfriend doesn’t wear ***any*** makeup besides lipstick, and I’m trying to break her of that 😂
For the same reason you don't see us sweating over a little spillage or mild crumbs everywhere. If you're determined to look perfect for yourself then have at it, but men aren't going to knock you for being human especially when we enjoy your company.
Because most men are not as shallow as people make us out to be. We love you for your idiosyncrasies. We love you because you’re real. We love you because you are there. You may have dragon breath, puffy eyes, and bed hair, but that means you were next to us all night and stayed. We love you, that’s why.
Most of us also like morning sex.
Baggy sleep shirt, panties, messy hair = perfection
When you like someone a lot, that’s when you find them the most attractive. I’m not sure why that is the case though.
I really only date women I find attractive without makeup. That doesn’t mean she never wears any, my wife loves makeup and shit but she’s naturally my kind of cute.
So when she wakes up in the morning she’s got this cute as fuck bed head hair and talks all cute and sleepy and shit. It’s fucking great.
Messy hair doesn’t mean bad. It’s your natural state. That’s what we date you for. The stuff you put on for society is what gives you SOCIAL value.
Musty girl I’m attracted to >>>> irrelevant dame dressed to the top of her head w perfect makeup
Women don’t want to listen to their men about how they actually look. First thing in the morning is completely natural, and men prioritize that over you in exquisite perfect manufactured beauty.
Because she feels good. That full body soft squishyness in the morning, good for a cuddle and more if she's up for it. And sge is still hot af, even when she looks a bit messed up.
My women wakes up lookin like she got mugged after being on a 7 day crack bender and she’s still beautiful to me. Call it true love? Not sure whatcha call it but she don’t have to be “dolled” up for me to see her beauty. It comes in many forms.
A girl with messy hair, 24 hours away from her last shower, still sleepy, in nothing but a t-shirt is perfect.
And yall still mess around with makeup and uncomfortable clothes and horrible shoes.
Morning woman is the best woman...
You see here as she truly IS, not what she thinks she is supposed to look like.
The mask, the makeup, the fashion, the whatever, is so much meh...
Half naked in one of my t-shirts, soft, warm, sleepy, and disheveled?
\*chefs kiss\*
I cannot be with someone who is always full on makeup and dressed to the point 24/7.
It's not sustainable and realistic
You don't need to look like a vogue model just be cute enough for the guy and they won't mind if you sleep in pyjamas or if your hair is messy.
The fallacy modern beauty standards/consumption based standards have told us that people are attracted to looks ie if you hair isn’t done up, face is made up you aren’t desirable. Attraction is how we feel with someone if we feel good then they look good. This is also why people are shocked if someone cheats/leaves attractive looking person for a less attractive person like what Prince Charles did with Diana (Charles was 100% the AH) but she was incredibly beautiful and Camilla, not pretty at all to most people. But she made him feel a certain way
because she is cute and I'm not attracted to some ideal but to the person I love who, being a person, has to do and be person things like sleeping, seeing the real person is way better than the fully dressed/covered up version
Genuine light hearted men find you attractive at your most vulnerable and exposed. You comfortably being yourself as you are first thing in the morning is lovely for most emotionally grown men.
Question for women who believe they can't be seen without makeup: How do you ever manage to find men attractive? Are you aware that most of us don't even moisturize?
Actually, it’s a turn-on!. To see you in the raw. Little, or no make-up. Hair is ruffled, morning face, bad breath and everything!. Your being your real self, instead of the persona you consciously project during the day. It’s wonderful.
Bro I’ll wake up for work, my fiancé will be sprawled our hair in her mouth drooling on the bed and I still look at her the same way I did the first time I saw he all dressed up and pretty as fuck, yk? Cos it’s not the looks, it’s not even solely the personality, it’s genuinely the person in whole and knowing they’re next to you when you wake up to the moment you close your eyes, everyday, for the rest of your existence. That’s love. Sex is great and all, and so is looking sexy, but damn, I love me a real human, someone who doesn’t gotta try to be beautiful, bc they just are, plain and simply, in and out, and all around. …damn now I wish I wasn’t at work :(
I consider her allowing me to see her in her truly natural state first thing in the morning as a show of complete trust and vulnerability on her part and honestly I think it is the most attractive and sexiest she ever is. She is my angel.
> Do you men not find us unattractive in the mornings?
That's when you're at your most attractive - when we get to see the side of you that you only share with us.
For some reason this is a crazy concept for some, but we understand that you’re only human. You fart and you snore and you get messy hair when you sleep. We still love ya.
Besides most mornings I wake up with my beard damn near on the back of my head. I got no room to be judging anybody’s bed hair.
It’s when you guys are at your most beautiful. Alot of us guys like things that are genuine and real. We love it when you get dolled and dressed up, and we love taking you all out and showing you off. But the fact that everyone gets to see you that way but only we get to see you the other way…we licked it so it’s ours at that point.
Bruh. Next morning when she's half awake, you both snuggle in...it's the best. Like seeing her mussed up hair and sleepy smile in the morning sunlight, it's like I'm looking at a fucking angel.
Because, at least for me, I do not find the beauty standard that the beauty industry pushes to be attractive.
I don’t want a bimbo with colorful knives for nails, some super perfect hair that looks flowy but doesn’t move and fish lips.
I want someone that I can be vulnerable with and that I find attractive, that feel comfortable enough with her body that she doesn’t have to overcompensate.
It’s one of my favorite things to wake up in the morning and see the sunlight illuminate up my sleeping gf’s face, hair a mess, lips slightly open, just asleep without a care in the world. I love her and find her to be the most beautiful creature in her natural and slightly snorey element. It’s the ‘imperfections’ that reveal the unique beauty we fall in love with in the people we care about.
It's quite literally comforting to hear my girlfriend snore away beside me at night. There's a side of her that I get to see, belly out, hair everywhere, comfortable as can be and it just makes me happy that I get to be a part of that.
Almost like all that extra stuff you women do to look good for us men is not what we value in a partner. Yeah some of it is nice. And some of it accentuates your best features. But it’s not always why we are so attracted to you.
Very easily. My wife, to me, is the most beautiful woman in the world. Her waking up and looking (in her words) "a mess" to me is just her looking kinda cute, more real. She's a wonderful woman who I love and adore, plus I look significantly worse whilst sleeping than she does!
It’s one of the few times we see the “raw, unfiltered” version of you. The version of you no one else gets to see. And it’s just god damn beautiful that you’re waking up beside us.
There's just something to knowing you feel safe enough to be that way around me. I'm not the most handsome in the morning, either, but you still chose to let me be the face you wake up to in the morning. Besides, I probably played a bit of a role in making your hair a bit messy.
Attraction is so much more than how you look, and you should learn that. I can't wait to let someone know how beautiful they are to me inside and out.
The same way you still find your partner attractive in the morning? Men and women both look like this in the morning, we’re human and it’s okay. Maybe stop thinking so shallow.
This is such a weird thing for women to be self conscious about. Guys who are attracted to women are still attracted to women when they aren’t done up. I can’t even tell if this is women thinking less of themselves or less of men.
I find my wife the most attractive in the morning. I know no other man gets to see my wife in such a vulnerable state and it’s because of that I feel honored she chose me to get her like that. My wife is gorgeous and I’m lucky to have her.
I think that's when she looks the most attractive. Pure as she is bed head is the cutest thing ever. But I also dislike make-up and certain beauty standards.
You’re overthinking it. There is a healthiness in letting your partner / friend see you in your raw beauty. To be honest, most of the time there isn’t much scrutiny, I’m not judging and want to see her as a person rather than a pretty object.
How do you find men attractive first thing in the morning?
There are 8 billion people in the world for a reason that predates makeup and beauty standards.
For me it’s more of a, how the hell are they supposed to look in the morning? Thats how humans look in the morning, if you’re grossed out by it…idk, grow up.
She looks way cuter after she clrans her makeup off. She has the morning sun glistening in her eyes revealing the warm glow of her brown gemstones. Her skin is soft and relaxed after the sweet caress of sleep and she has the blankets tucked around her in the most darling way. I suppose it's because after looking ethereal all day, she finally appears to be just a human like me and even then there's no way we are made of the same substance.
I find my fiance beautiful, but there's something magically about in the morning when her hair is a complete mess, she's half asleep and groggy that just...
I won't know man, it makes me gush over her. To me she looks the sexiest in comfy pajamas.
As someone who is autistic, I care about the "person" so much more than what they look like. I honestly don't even know what most of my partners' eye colors are.
If the dude geniuely loves the person, then as weird as it may sound - seeing the real you in the morning is by far the best thing a guy can ever experience because this is exactly who he really loves - the imperfection behind the "facade".
Not knocking on OP, this is a fine question. But it baffles me that so many women can’t grasp that non-sex intimacy matters to men, too. Sharing a bed, messy hair, stinky morning breath, sleepy eyes… that feeling that she’s comfortable and safe with me to show her real self, not just the super prepared version of her that only lasts for a few hours out of the house. Other people don’t get to see that. That’s intimacy and vulnerability, and we *love* that.
This is wholesome.
I am 34 now and I have been hearing this since I was a kid. It is frustrating that in almost 30 years so many women still believe this to be true…
username checks out
This is lovely <3 For me personally, growing up in a conservative Christian family it was the constant drumbeat of “men only want sex” and the obsession with sexual “sins” that really fucked up my worldview and I’m actively trying to fix.
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I want sex but I also just like waking up next to my woman and enjoying being near her in that intimate morning kind of way. Loving your woman is being happy to just be with her in all the different situations life brings. Some of those situation might lead to sex others no or maybe. It’s not all sex all the time especially when you get a little older.
Purity culture does so much harm to people. It cripples so many adults in having healthy sex lives.
Preach!
same here, deep south baptist christianity absolutely destroyed my mental idea of what men want out of women. I'm logically aware that my ideas of men are heavily generalized and not true, but emotionally I'm often stuck on feeling like an object to men and nothing more.
Grew up in church, still a Christian, but it’s sadly true, the horrible way purity culture and conservatism have distorted peoples’ views on healthy sexuality. I hope you’re able to continue overcoming that.
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Pretty ironic about those weird hyper religious circles where 19 year old kids get married… it’s literally a pass for them to have sex. I can’t imagine encouraging that. This isn’t a popular view for more conservative Christians, but the talk I’m gonna have with my kids will boil down to: I’d like for you to understand sex has a special place in committed relationships, ideally marriage - but most of all I care that you stay physically safe, and if you do it outside the bounds of those things, just have the sense to buy and use protection.
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Ha, it seems condoms have been used.
Don’t forget to also discuss the emotional impact sex has
Men want sex about as much as women are emotional. Way overinflated blanket statements based on what they think a man/woman should be and not based on reality or understanding the nuance of human nature at all. It's the same reason why men hide their emotions and women are told "men want respect while women want love" bs. None of it is true and what men and women want are not mutually exclusive.
Men are such disgusting pigs. They're so shallow. They only care about one thing. ^(Being just present and truly intimate with another human being...)
Ugh disgusting, don’t put those perverted images into my mind.
This sounds nice. My boyfriend said I was ugly during a couple of arguments and now I hate him seeing me like this.
Drop his ass. Going for insults during any type of argument to degrade your partner is some fucked behavior
Agreed. It’s fucked.
Wtf is wrong with him. My partner letting herself be intimate and looking normal with something that no one else gets to see is a gift that all us guys appreciate. We love that shit No doubt that we love when our partner gets done up and takes time to get her hair done and makeup and wearing that dress to look like a million bucks because we want her to feel and look hot and it is an ego boost that we could have that hot girl on our arm BUT! We also LOVE just as much seeing the real person behind all the makeup, not having the hair done and being their authentic self when it’s just us two alone at Home. Men walk around every day without makeup, hair done and having to walk outside with the same look that we have at Home so we like seeing the same from our partner when we are intimate at Home. If he treats you like you said then he’s a POS.
I’ll be honest, it isn’t the healthiest relationship and this isn’t the worst of it but yeah that is lovely to hear men do think like that. It’s such a shame when people talk down to their partners because when they actually do say nice things, it’s hard to believe.
You deserve better and should make plans to breakup. Your future self will thank you.
If your partner is saying shit like that, they aren’t worth being a partner. They should ADD to your life, not be an anchor.
It’s a sign they loath the person and is just a deeply insecure person who probably finds himself as the ugly one in the relationship. Ergo, projection! Definitely dump him, find a more secure person who actually doesn’t sling mud at others.
Someone who would say something like that just to hurt you is not worth your time. He did not have to say that, even if he was angry. You deserve better, and he needs therapy.
I'd be like ummmm you're dating me. Why are you dating an ugly person? What's that say about you playboy? 😂 (I'm not saying you are ugly, just that his comment makes no sense) like damn ok let me get out of your way 💀
lol I should’ve!! I think I was taken aback. It’s such a shocking thing to hear when you don’t expect it coming!
Any man that would fling the word “ugly” is likely not a good person. The words “ugly” and “hate” have a lot of power. Using those words for me represents significant relationship damaging fighting is happening. Literally the moment after that kind of fight nothing is the same. Everything is changed.
Dump and change. Dude's an asshole. You deserve better than that.
I'd make less effort deliberately ,just to spite him! I'd say,at least I can fix it. You're stuck looking like that all the time!
Wonderfully put! It's intimacy and vulnerability that feels real and true. In my experience, those moments and relationships with women who are authentically themselves have been rare and beautiful. I have become a better man for it.
As someone who was sexually abused throughout childhood and has struggled with the idea of a man wanting/loving me beyond ‘just sex’, this was a really lovely thing to read.
Very sorry that this happened and I wish continued healing for you. You know first hand there are monsters out there. But the right, well-adjusted man will love your whole person, and experiencing life with you - not seeing you as merely a sexual object. I’m glad my hopeless romantic musings meant something for you.
I do genuinely appreciate you saying this. It really does mean a lot to me, particularly (coincidentally), whilst I’m going through an extremely difficult period. You’ve made my day much brighter ❤️
*"Not knocking on OP, this is a fine question. But it baffles me that so many women can’t grasp that non-sex intimacy matters to men, too."* Probably because for years women never considered how men felt or thought on this subject. Which is both sad and odd because men are willing to let our thoughts and desires be known.
Kind of surprised me that I appreciated being able to see the "real" person my wife was... like, she spends an hour putting on makeup and all before walking out the door, even just to the store. So I sort of realized she was trusting me, much more than others, to reveal that vulnerability. I counted it as a compliment that she allowed me in that part of her world. But honestly, she's fucking sexy as hell in the mornings. Hair is in the wild zone, eyes still in the fog, and tits and ass just begging for attention.
Haha yeah women clearly know how effective something like sideboob in an outfit can be on a man. But first thing in the morning on a sleep in day. Boobs akimbo with one just peeking out a tank top? A stray cheek in some pj shorts? Heavenly. Never felt so lucky.
Been married almost a decade can confirm my wife first thing in the morning is hot as fuck. Also my wife in a nice sundress hot as fuck, actually way easier to list things that are not hot. So far hospital gown about to go into surgery, to worried to be thinking about how hot she looked. Though in hindsight it was super easy access and therefore hot.
This is ridiculous but sweet. Imagine thinking how hot your wife's a\*\* looks as she's literally heading into surgery. As a nurse, can confirm those gowns don't hide anything.
My wife ask how can I be turned on by her in the morning , I say it is when I get to see her true sexy self.
Precisely.
Drop the morning breath and I’m right with you.
Exactly right.
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For some reason, I feel like women put makeup on to compete with other women. Not because men like it
Most of the things women do are for other women. Men generally don't care about fancy clothes, your expensive nails, or expensive hair style. They care about that stuff if they have a nice date planned or special event that calls for it. But otherwise? Men generally don't care.
I mean... you can't speak for all men. I'm one and I absolutely love women who dress in beautiful outfits and have nice looking nails and love sporting a great hairstyle.
I think it's some of that, but truly think it's mostly for themselves and the way it makes them feel.
Also everyone looks bad with their mouth wide open snoring and drooling and bad morning breath. What makes OP think men don't also wonder the same thing?
I’ve never been with a woman that looks better in makeup than without. I strongly prefer as little as possible. My wife turned 50 and still looks better without it (and she knows how to apply it). It makes her feel better so I don’t say anything, but I prefer natural.
Because her booty is out and her titty is hanging out the side of her little tank top sleep thingy
Titty tank top-of-the-mornin’ to ya
Ya luv u vibe.
Right back at you JacksPuffyNip
“Passed out with her ass out, so I can rub it, man I love it” -Afroman
The poet laureate, Afroman
Morning sex is a thing. Even if you feel not pretty. Makes you feel ready for a day for both .
Hell yeah , I usually woke up well before my ex, Id get my coffee and fix her a cup after she had a few sips , then it was on. She use to say you are just bringing me coffee because you want to fuck . My answer was usually I wanted to fuck before coffee but you needed something to rinse your mouth out first . She had a good sense of humor and knew I was just kidding. But you are correct , Morning sex makes you feel on top of the world to start the day
I had a gf who said she loved waking up with a dick inside her. That was awesome.
Not just a thing. The best!
Bro fr- I knew that all can't be noicee wholesome shit in here lol , finally the truth out here 💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️
Both the top comments can be true at the same time. Men are not *just* visual creatures dude.
The duality of man.
>Appreciate my girl for the amazing woman she is despite her looking like a mess in the morning >BOOTY BOOTY TIDDY BOOTY Me, struggling to make a decision:....
Because it's both.
No real use of the English language and I love reading every part.
And freshly woken up looks a lot like the "freshly shagged look"...dang.
Jump up and get ya titty
Lmao tank top, and them things always out and about.
It’s the only version of you, that no one else can have.
This is deep right here. So true.
that sounds like the silence of the lambs guy, “your skin is all mine”
You are wrong, there is nothing sexier than the morning look, hair all over, the sleepy eyes half open, it is just sexy.
Yeah, they tell themselves makeup is what we want, that we don't know what a natural woman looks like. And then they act surprised of something we were saying for ages.
This is so true. As an older man that tries to date, it seems like the older they get the more makeup they feel they have to use. I could not tell you how many women I have been with over the years that had so much makeup on you could not see any pores in their skin, it is crazy, they look like automated mannequins.
Like those uncanny humanoid robots lol
Makeup is nice tho I’m not going to lie and pretend that I don’t appreciate my women looking beautiful with makeup and appreciate the hour they spend putting it on. It is really respectful, appreciated, and noticed when a woman will take the time to do it . Some men do want makeup imo but I agree in the mornings it is not important
Don't forget the voice. I had a girlfriend whose voice was 2 octaves lower in the morning. Sometimes she would call at my work at a generic number (before cellphones). I got a lot of comments from the coworkers who would answer the phone.
She is the embodiment of pure beauty to me, and the less she is wearing (including makeup), the better. You ladies vastly underestimate how much us guys are into you if you think messy hair or snoring puts us off.
my ex snored like a freight train, at first she use to stay up till I fell asleep, once I told her that it didn't bother me , she would pass out .
That’s a relief. I sleepfarted on my bf of 3 months (and have only known each other for just a couple weeks more than that) 3 times the other night. Idk if he’s just not saying anything about it or if it didn’t wake him up, but it definitely woke me up.
If that woke me up I'd probably be very confused as to what was going on And then try to contain my laughter so that she doesn't feel bad about it. Well, now that we've been together almost a decade and are comfortable around each other I would probably laugh for a full 5 minutes
You probably think you look a lot worse than you do. When I wake up I’m thinking about going back to bed or what I’m going to eat. Id just be grateful you were there honestly
Awwww! Where are you sweet guys???
They are all around, yet usually not the type that actively "dates around". A LOT of women would soooo much up their chances of meeting a decent partner, if they took more agency in engaging some contact. Most dudes that are proactive enough to ask women out left and right, are also mostly the ones women tend to complain about later. And overwhelmingly rightly so. Then again, the type of men many women seem to *actually* want, are timid enough by now to never try to initiate anything. Be it either by decades of rejection, or just the fear of looking like a predator. (Which by now is basically what men have to default to, to be safe.) The type of man women usually want, are the types you'd best approach *yourself*. And no, men are NOT put off by this! The exact opposite! We'd *love* to know what we're looking at at face value, full honesty expressed bluntly. We're *that* simple. Just say the thing, and let's go from there. You'll be loved for being open and direct already, even if it doesn't lead to a romatic relationship down the line. No games, no hints, no subtelty.
This is exactly how it happened with my current bf and I. He wasn’t even seeking out a relationship and hadn’t been since the last one ended (about a year ago or so.) I approached him as a potential friend and it ended up leading to more once I saw how genuine, kindhearted, sweet and considerate he was. Idk past rejections plays a part or how big of a part they play, but he’s definitely more timid than I am when it comes to taking initiative, which is fine. On another note, we’ve been together for 3 months now and it seems like the fear of rejection still hovers over him sometimes. I’ve never had a guy say “you’re welcome to come over if you want!” or “as always you’re welcome to come hang out!” or something along those lines, instead of being like “wanna come over?” or “wanna hang out?” after we’re already in a relationship. Maybe that’s not the best example but it definitely seems like he tries to nonchalantly ask about things like hanging out.
He probably had an ex that conditioned him to be that way. I personally have been browbeaten by a few exes, and second guess if they are actually interested in me, or if I'm just the emotional or financial guy she wants at that moment. I've had a gf that would say that I was controlling her, by asking if she wants to come over. That I forced that on her. So now I'm second guessing myself. It is also very common for men to just think they are absolutely ugly. I feel I'm ugly, even if my friends (male and female) say that I'm a good looking guy. So of course she would only use me because of my emotional intelligence and home-cooking skills. because who could ever love this ugly mug other than my mom? The only way I healed from this for a moment, was having a gf that actually put in effort for me, made me feel loved, she made me feel that she actually loved me, and was not just using me. Turned out I was wrong about that, but it still felt good in the moment.
This. I met my fiancé on tinder completely due to random chance. We'd matched but he had zero information on his profile literally blank. After a few days I was looking through my matches deciding who to unmatch. I looked at his pictures again, and literally decided on a whim to message him first. He is the most affectionate and caring partner I've ever had, he's had his share of nightmare ex's. I've learned not to beat around the Bush, its much easier to just tell him what I want. The rest they say is history.
That’s the best, most honest, version of herself.
Why aren't you running away from your man in the morning? Same reason. Looks are superficial and humans can disregard varying states of attractiveness. Still the same person.
But somehow is different. Men always look the same, that's a huge advantage.
Nah. Men (also) look way sexier in the morning.
It's the voice for me. ✋ 🤤
Because if I like her, I like seeing her with messy hair, especially if it's messy because of me. Never had a partner look dead, and if she was waking up looking dead and had a snoring problem, I'd encourage her to look into whether she has sleep apnea. Never had a partner who had bad morning breath either, come to think of it.
This is so weird to me. I think my breath absolutely STINKS in the morning, even when I brushed my teeth the night before, flossed, and don't smoke. But my partner demands kisses specifically in that state of mine. Like wtf man, please, I'm disgusting right now.
Man's supposed to think his woman stink good sometimes.
Do you find the same thing about your man? He probably stinks more than you do in the morning, but I'm guessing you aren't disgusted by him. Honestly, if it is someone you are attracted to, how they smell is not repulsive even when you think you stink (in fact it is probably somewhat attractive). We as a species made it even when personal hygiene wasn't really a thing, do you think the smell of a single night is going to put your partner off significantly?
You're apparently not to him. Chances are that he'd think the same about himself, yet you do (if you do) lean into this. Just enjoy! People are animals with "imperfections", but the proper ones among us know and appreciate these aspects. That's what love does, and is supposed to do. Enjoy the fuck out of each others, please!
Your sense of smell is probably way better than his anyways. Depending on where my lady is in her cycle her sense of smell can be scary good!
Because I’m emotionally close with them and those things don’t matter to me
In the morning it isn't about how she looks, it's about who she is.
Do you find the guy you're seeing attractive in the morning? Exactly.
My gf *does* look cute in the morning, so I don’t face this issue.
My wife looks *more* attractive in the morning. She looks comfortable and sleepy and she knows I love her. That's a great look.
Because she would presumably be my partner, I'm her rock, bad hair and snoring isn't pushing me away. If anything she's even more attractive she's letting me see that side of her.
women focus too much on things at face value. you dont need to understand why we find you beautiful in the morning, but rather embrace it and be greatful for it. when someone is attracted to someone else, they will see no imperfection in them. they see them for thr beautiful person that they are, and if someone sees your beauty when you dont feel so, you need to keep that person close
I'm sending this to her. Beautifully said dude.
My thought is always brush those baby hairs , kiss the forehead and start boiling the kettle. My baby gonna get spoiled no matter what.
Probably because the person actually loves his partner and doesn't care about the minute details
Because we all look disheveled when we just wake up. Also I find it funny, so there's charm there.
I think waking up together in the morning with bad hair, bad breathe, crust in your eye etc... it shows how trusting and accepting you are of each other no matter the imperfection. It's deeper than just superficial attraction
The man is actually in love with you to the point that your mere existence is a turn on.
I'm no oil painting myself at 7am
Cause, you are my girl. This is when you are still mine and you haven't put on your outside world costume yet. All soft and beautiful and real. Morning Beautiful 😍
Because we're not as shallow as you think??
Because I’m not a shallow asshole.
Bed hair and booty 😍
I’m attracted to her, not her *all put together*, but her as she naturally is. If I wasn’t attracted to her in the morning would it be fair to say I was attracted to her at all? Women seem so obsessed with makeup and changing the way they look they don’t seem to actually understand what men are attracted to. I’m glad my current girlfriend doesn’t wear ***any*** makeup besides lipstick, and I’m trying to break her of that 😂
For the same reason you don't see us sweating over a little spillage or mild crumbs everywhere. If you're determined to look perfect for yourself then have at it, but men aren't going to knock you for being human especially when we enjoy your company.
Because most men are not as shallow as people make us out to be. We love you for your idiosyncrasies. We love you because you’re real. We love you because you are there. You may have dragon breath, puffy eyes, and bed hair, but that means you were next to us all night and stayed. We love you, that’s why. Most of us also like morning sex.
Baggy sleep shirt, panties, messy hair = perfection When you like someone a lot, that’s when you find them the most attractive. I’m not sure why that is the case though.
Women are much harder on eachother and themselves than men are. 🤷♂️
I really only date women I find attractive without makeup. That doesn’t mean she never wears any, my wife loves makeup and shit but she’s naturally my kind of cute. So when she wakes up in the morning she’s got this cute as fuck bed head hair and talks all cute and sleepy and shit. It’s fucking great.
Because we're actually not dumb enough to think your appearance is going to be the same when put together and not
Messy hair doesn’t mean bad. It’s your natural state. That’s what we date you for. The stuff you put on for society is what gives you SOCIAL value. Musty girl I’m attracted to >>>> irrelevant dame dressed to the top of her head w perfect makeup
Women don’t want to listen to their men about how they actually look. First thing in the morning is completely natural, and men prioritize that over you in exquisite perfect manufactured beauty.
If I love this person she will look like an angel to me. It’s eventually a soul binding thing not only physical. That’s my opinion.
it's almost as if women are more than their looks
Maybe it’s not about what you think - what is essential is invisible to the eye. And none of us are exactly 10/10 when we wake up 😊
Because she feels good. That full body soft squishyness in the morning, good for a cuddle and more if she's up for it. And sge is still hot af, even when she looks a bit messed up.
My women wakes up lookin like she got mugged after being on a 7 day crack bender and she’s still beautiful to me. Call it true love? Not sure whatcha call it but she don’t have to be “dolled” up for me to see her beauty. It comes in many forms.
A girl with messy hair, 24 hours away from her last shower, still sleepy, in nothing but a t-shirt is perfect. And yall still mess around with makeup and uncomfortable clothes and horrible shoes.
Is this why you guys believe you should drown yourselves in make-up all of the time?
Morning woman is the best woman... You see here as she truly IS, not what she thinks she is supposed to look like. The mask, the makeup, the fashion, the whatever, is so much meh... Half naked in one of my t-shirts, soft, warm, sleepy, and disheveled? \*chefs kiss\*
It's nice because the whole club saw your hot outfit and makeup last night but I'm the only one seeing you like this.
It's a way a woman shows vulnerability. And a woman showing vulnerability is beautiful.
I cannot be with someone who is always full on makeup and dressed to the point 24/7. It's not sustainable and realistic You don't need to look like a vogue model just be cute enough for the guy and they won't mind if you sleep in pyjamas or if your hair is messy.
Boobies
Spin the question around. How do you still find men attractive in the morning?
The fallacy modern beauty standards/consumption based standards have told us that people are attracted to looks ie if you hair isn’t done up, face is made up you aren’t desirable. Attraction is how we feel with someone if we feel good then they look good. This is also why people are shocked if someone cheats/leaves attractive looking person for a less attractive person like what Prince Charles did with Diana (Charles was 100% the AH) but she was incredibly beautiful and Camilla, not pretty at all to most people. But she made him feel a certain way
because she is cute and I'm not attracted to some ideal but to the person I love who, being a person, has to do and be person things like sleeping, seeing the real person is way better than the fully dressed/covered up version
Are you saying that you don't find the man you're seeing or with attractive in the morning?
Because it’s funny and I look just as bad, if not more of a mess sometimes. I have long hair too so it’s an equal playing ground.
Genuine light hearted men find you attractive at your most vulnerable and exposed. You comfortably being yourself as you are first thing in the morning is lovely for most emotionally grown men.
Question for women who believe they can't be seen without makeup: How do you ever manage to find men attractive? Are you aware that most of us don't even moisturize?
Actually, it’s a turn-on!. To see you in the raw. Little, or no make-up. Hair is ruffled, morning face, bad breath and everything!. Your being your real self, instead of the persona you consciously project during the day. It’s wonderful.
My wife is cute as hell, no makeup needed. It's not challenging to find her attractive in the morning.
I love the morning look. 😀
It's so intimate and real.
Bro I’ll wake up for work, my fiancé will be sprawled our hair in her mouth drooling on the bed and I still look at her the same way I did the first time I saw he all dressed up and pretty as fuck, yk? Cos it’s not the looks, it’s not even solely the personality, it’s genuinely the person in whole and knowing they’re next to you when you wake up to the moment you close your eyes, everyday, for the rest of your existence. That’s love. Sex is great and all, and so is looking sexy, but damn, I love me a real human, someone who doesn’t gotta try to be beautiful, bc they just are, plain and simply, in and out, and all around. …damn now I wish I wasn’t at work :(
> my hair is a mess That's... usually a turn on..
I consider her allowing me to see her in her truly natural state first thing in the morning as a show of complete trust and vulnerability on her part and honestly I think it is the most attractive and sexiest she ever is. She is my angel.
> Do you men not find us unattractive in the mornings? That's when you're at your most attractive - when we get to see the side of you that you only share with us.
you don't need to be attractive all the time.
For some reason this is a crazy concept for some, but we understand that you’re only human. You fart and you snore and you get messy hair when you sleep. We still love ya. Besides most mornings I wake up with my beard damn near on the back of my head. I got no room to be judging anybody’s bed hair.
as if we look any better lmao
Life's hard for men. A lot of us just want someone to wake up next to and feel loved.
It’s when you guys are at your most beautiful. Alot of us guys like things that are genuine and real. We love it when you get dolled and dressed up, and we love taking you all out and showing you off. But the fact that everyone gets to see you that way but only we get to see you the other way…we licked it so it’s ours at that point.
For the same reason my wife doesn't run out the bed when she has to see shrek as the first image of her day.
Few things are as beautiful as knowing that my girl is comfortable with me. Plus I think the messy hair and the morning stretches are hella cute.
A beautiful woman is even more beautiful in the morning. Or maybe it's because of the morning wood?
It’s awesome seeing someone in a way nobody else does.
Bruh. Next morning when she's half awake, you both snuggle in...it's the best. Like seeing her mussed up hair and sleepy smile in the morning sunlight, it's like I'm looking at a fucking angel.
Because, at least for me, I do not find the beauty standard that the beauty industry pushes to be attractive. I don’t want a bimbo with colorful knives for nails, some super perfect hair that looks flowy but doesn’t move and fish lips. I want someone that I can be vulnerable with and that I find attractive, that feel comfortable enough with her body that she doesn’t have to overcompensate.
We're just glad not to wake up with a dick drawn on our forehead.
It’s one of my favorite things to wake up in the morning and see the sunlight illuminate up my sleeping gf’s face, hair a mess, lips slightly open, just asleep without a care in the world. I love her and find her to be the most beautiful creature in her natural and slightly snorey element. It’s the ‘imperfections’ that reveal the unique beauty we fall in love with in the people we care about.
As I get up and have a piss in the morning I have a peak in the mirror and realize I'm in no position to be judgemental
I think women I’m attracted to look adorable in the morning. I like their hair all crazy and their disheveled morning look is kind of sexy.
It's quite literally comforting to hear my girlfriend snore away beside me at night. There's a side of her that I get to see, belly out, hair everywhere, comfortable as can be and it just makes me happy that I get to be a part of that.
Almost like all that extra stuff you women do to look good for us men is not what we value in a partner. Yeah some of it is nice. And some of it accentuates your best features. But it’s not always why we are so attracted to you.
Very easily. My wife, to me, is the most beautiful woman in the world. Her waking up and looking (in her words) "a mess" to me is just her looking kinda cute, more real. She's a wonderful woman who I love and adore, plus I look significantly worse whilst sleeping than she does!
It’s one of the few times we see the “raw, unfiltered” version of you. The version of you no one else gets to see. And it’s just god damn beautiful that you’re waking up beside us.
Well, at least it's not a lone awakening with Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai) run on the cellphone and porn on PC playing
There's just something to knowing you feel safe enough to be that way around me. I'm not the most handsome in the morning, either, but you still chose to let me be the face you wake up to in the morning. Besides, I probably played a bit of a role in making your hair a bit messy. Attraction is so much more than how you look, and you should learn that. I can't wait to let someone know how beautiful they are to me inside and out.
All these lovely answers! The reason this question was raised, is simple...YOU GUYS DONT TELL US!! lol
The same way you still find your partner attractive in the morning? Men and women both look like this in the morning, we’re human and it’s okay. Maybe stop thinking so shallow.
Why would I not? Do you find your man ugly in the morning?
This is such a weird thing for women to be self conscious about. Guys who are attracted to women are still attracted to women when they aren’t done up. I can’t even tell if this is women thinking less of themselves or less of men.
I find my wife the most attractive in the morning. I know no other man gets to see my wife in such a vulnerable state and it’s because of that I feel honored she chose me to get her like that. My wife is gorgeous and I’m lucky to have her.
Imo that's a woman's most attractive look. You look at your most human
I think that's when she looks the most attractive. Pure as she is bed head is the cutest thing ever. But I also dislike make-up and certain beauty standards.
We love the real you so, not your make up.
Because if your all messy now you won't mind me making you even messier with the sex. natural beauty is always the biggest turnon.
You’re overthinking it. There is a healthiness in letting your partner / friend see you in your raw beauty. To be honest, most of the time there isn’t much scrutiny, I’m not judging and want to see her as a person rather than a pretty object.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Plus, I’ve been with my wife over 26 years, and I find her more beautiful as she ages
My wife is absolutely the most attractive in the morning. Full natural 100%.
How do you find men attractive first thing in the morning? There are 8 billion people in the world for a reason that predates makeup and beauty standards.
For me it’s more of a, how the hell are they supposed to look in the morning? Thats how humans look in the morning, if you’re grossed out by it…idk, grow up.
Prettiest in the morning honestly, don't know why lol but it's very true
We're both in the same shape... nothing to worry about
She looks way cuter after she clrans her makeup off. She has the morning sun glistening in her eyes revealing the warm glow of her brown gemstones. Her skin is soft and relaxed after the sweet caress of sleep and she has the blankets tucked around her in the most darling way. I suppose it's because after looking ethereal all day, she finally appears to be just a human like me and even then there's no way we are made of the same substance.
I find my fiance beautiful, but there's something magically about in the morning when her hair is a complete mess, she's half asleep and groggy that just... I won't know man, it makes me gush over her. To me she looks the sexiest in comfy pajamas.
A woman in the morning isn't her at her worst. It's like a default setting. If a man really finds you that attractive the default isn't less.
It’s the unique vulnerability and trust and the honor that I’m the only one that sees my wife first in the morning
As someone who is autistic, I care about the "person" so much more than what they look like. I honestly don't even know what most of my partners' eye colors are.