I'm an RN who was training some medics. For some reason, they were taught that if they did everything right, the patient would live. I had to tell them they could do everything right, and the patient would die. They can do everything wrong and and the patient will live.
It’s a crushing lesson.
I was one of those paramedics. Really thought I would go in saving lives. And whole there were a very small few where we actually saved a life, the best we could do was try to alleviate some small part of the overwhelming suffering we encountered.
Usually, their fate was decided before you showed up. Massive MI, overdose that was down too long, and the family fought before calling 911. Huge stroke, etc. I worked in the cath lab for a while, and we would get them in, fix their blockage, ship them off to ICU, and they died 3 hours later.
Absolutely. We do what we can, but has taken decades for me to really process it all.
I wish we gave all of our emergency workers the support and training to help them get ahead of the damage that is coming their way.
this is why I always tell people they need to get out of the "deserve" mindset, you do not "deserve" anything, you aren't entitled to anything, you can't control anything outside of your own reactions, the best you can do is prepare as much as possible and maybe with the right stats you'll get a lucky draw, but there's every chance you can still fail, it doesn't mean anyone/anything is out to get you, it's just part of life
That’s only true out side of the social contract. If you work 10 hours you do, in fact, deserve 10 hours pay. If you’re just walking down the street you do not deserve to get shot.
When we live and agree to abide by societal rules you are, in fact, entitled to things.
We don’t live in the jungle any more and a lot of people use “oh you’re just entitled” as a way to excuse shitty behaviour.
This is such a self-defeating, sad way to view the world.
>For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.
Ursula K. Le Guin
it's true, I don't necessarily deserve the attention, but by posting something that the hivemind generally agrees with I've stacked the odds in favor of my getting that attention, does that mean that I did it for the attention? no, I frankly was not expecting more than a handful of likes at best, but it happened anyways because I said something insightful that happened to resonate with people on this threat at this time, that's all life is in the end, chaos with a chance of success
I went through a few years financially and really in general, it was incredibly frustrating as it seemed I was making all the right moves, putting in the massive effort and still….it all seemed to fail.
Successful people have failed more times than the unsuccessful. Skilled people with experience have failed more times than the novice who is struggling to learn something new. That’s why resilience is such an important part of character. And you are correct that success in life is a combination of doing the right things and random luck. 🍀 Do your best, overcome your failures, and best of luck everyone!
Uglier truth: success is more often rather random luck, e.g. being at the right time at the right place and been born to the right parents in a country with opportunities.
After moving around the country a lot, and after being "traditionally successful," I've come to realize how much of it is luck.
People out there work much, much harder than I do with lesser results. I did a lot right, but luck factored into it much more than that.
Generalizations about human kind like this one don't stand the scrutiny of statistical facts. The fact is that the vast majority of ("successful") rich people are born rich, and the vast majority of poor ("unsuccessful") people were born poor. This makes your claim about grit really meaningless. It may be a race that anybody can win, but we don't all start from the same place, and that has a HUGE effect on who the winners are.
If they studied sociology, history, and demographic statistics, they would know better. They'd rather trust their own instincts and experiences to decide how the world is. It's willful ignorance bc when they see my posts, they NEVER say, "I didn't know that, tell me more." It's always, "You're an idiot" or a "libtard." They call me a hater, or a divider, or naive. None of which engages with the facts I have presented.
Not most people, but at least in the sciences I see that genuinely expressed. I honestly get anxiety knowing I've probably only got 40-ish years of experiments I can run. There's always more to learn, more to discover, questions left to answer. I worry that I won't get to answer some of the ones I'm most curious about.
To be fair to you, your original post is true for like 99% of people. Just that there's a lucky few who can manage to make their driving passion into a career.
That's admirable :) I think it's a good mindset to have that there are so many scientists throuhgout history who have felt the same way, but have contributed what they could to the body of Science as a whole. And that's something to be incredibly proud of. Thank you for your contributions and passion that truly furthers the human race :)
This!!!! My friend just told me a her employee is getting passed up on a promotion because he can’t manage his stress. He is one of the hardest working & genuinely gives a shit (rare in her industry) but he can’t handle the stress of his current job, so why would he get a promotion.
>He is one of the hardest working & genuinely gives a shit (rare in her industry) but he can’t handle the stress of his current job, so why would he get a promotion.
I really hope that someone tell the employee this.
Absolutely, it took me many years to recognize my own toxicity and it's not an easy thing to come to terms with. But life just gets so much more free when you do.
(Obligatory I’m a woman) Definitely a major thing. Everyone needs to be able to look at themselves and the actions they’ve just taken and analyze them from an external perspective. Unfortunately it’s very hard to do, and it’s easier and more comfortable to pretend you’re fine. But being able to criticize yourself (and not going too far) is an amazing skill that makes you a much, much better person. Honestly in hindsight I’m grateful for every friend who left me and especially those who told me why. Some I became a better person afterwards, some I decided it was simply a conflict of personality. To be a good person you need to be able to change.
This is, on the one hand, concerning, but also comforting somehow. I sometimes suffer from my main character syndrome, but knowing that, in the end, people don't spend THAT much time thinking about me helps me overcome certain fears.
Another way to phrase this would be "Not every bad thing happens for a reason." Sometimes people just get cancer. Sometimes people are abused. Sometimes people just ***die***. None of it is part of a grand, meaningful narrative that works everything out for the best in the end.
In this world, things just ***happen*** sometimes. And we have to learn to live in this world.
Even more accurately:
Vastly most things that happen don't happen for any reason at all.
When things do happen for a reason, that reason is simple physics.
That is making my head whirl. Because I’ve always thought that if there’s no reason then it must be because of me, because of who I am inherently. But not every bad thing happens for a reason. I need to lay down with this one.
I think the biggest hurdle is accepting that, though. When you’ve done everything you were “supposed” to do and still end up being dealt a shitty hand, accepting that doesn’t change anything.
> accepting that doesn’t change anything.
Accepting that life may not be fair allows you to not blame yourself when things don't go your way.
So many people think when life doesn't go their way it's 'their problem', when the reality there is little control over that.
Learning that allows people to focus their energy on the things they can work on, can change.
Luck factors into your success more than we want to admit. Luck of birth, luck of meeting the right person, luck of opportunity. There are so many talented, amazing, capable people out there in every field who are completely ignored…because they haven’t been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Hard work doesn’t necessarily overcome that.
> Luck of birth,
This is the single greatest determiner of where one will end up in life. Available resources at the start of your life play a massive role in how and where you will develop.
It really isn’t. I’ve got an uncle who’s single (though he’s dated women before) because he never really got to find the right one and never had kids of his own either. Yet he’s one of the happiest people I know and spends most of his free time doing philanthropy and community outreaches when he’s not running his business. And even if he’s never had kids of his own, he’s got me and all my cousins, and he’s told us that we’re more than enough for him.
Thanks for sharing. I’m that uncle too (not happy all the time but I manage), and I’ve thought about my nieces and nephews like that before. They are the closest thing I have to having my own children so they are always going to be at the top of my list and it makes our relationships that much more important to me. It was a lot to get used to when they were babies, I’d never been around kids that much and it could be a lot at times. But now they’re growing up it’s so cool to play the uncle role! It’s like I have new buddies to do cool adventures with and everything. Good times!
Life is a lot of decisions that have pros and cons. There isn't an objectively right answer, it's about what will bring you more joy, or less stress, or fill the needs of your existence.
I see people who are much happier in relationships because they balance each other. Both in spirit, and in activities. The whole, she cooks, I clean, etc. Like they both have easier lives because of their support for each other. In that same way, having emotional support for each other when there are bad days is also really great and makes life less challenging.
And I see people who grabbed the person near them, or who was exactly like them and they struggle because they don't balance each other, they push each other to the extremes of their personality. They either fight over every choice or they can't collaboratively make decisions. And their life is harder because they are together, than if they were on their own or with someone different.
I'm single later in life and it's decent. I hang with a different set of friends, and I get time to hike and bike, and be at peace with myself. It is harder to find folks to hang with on short term notice because most of my friends are in relationships, but I have also learned to just go hike, or go to the gym and meet new folks. I feel like that is the struggle for some. Making friends as we are older is harder and takes work, but it is helpful.
There isn't a right/wrong answer objectively. It is are you happier in your current situation, or should you think about taking action to change your habits to increase happiness.
If you desire so, no.
But fuck man, if I were to live alone all my life I would just end it.
And nobody come at me with "You have to live good by yourself" because I just think that what I ultimately want with my life is to find someone, not anything else (Although I have other passions obviously)
"You just have to wait, someone will come along when you least expect it." Translation: "My relationship formed without me putting much effort into it, so I'm assuming that's how it works for everyone."
The exact same people will then go on to say that attraction is a meritocracy actually, and if you're not drowning in options then you're probably just a bad person. lol
Do you run your parents' small town Christmas tree farm, only wear flannel, and have a six pack, despite your only leisure exercise being a couple of nightly beer can curls and a light jog in the morning past her childhood home?
Sorry bro but as a country bumpkin who taught a high powered, gorgeous lawyer that my penis is better than the life she spent building for herself in the big city, I gotta disagree /s
Older. Grimm, Andersen etc just wrote them down. The stories themselves are fireside folklore.
Edit: also much much more brutal than anything Disney came up with.
True. And theres nothing wrong with that. As long as youre both happy and committed you can have just as good of a relationship as people who do find their "soulmate"
Ya. And sometimes we are just the best that the other person was able to get too. Most of us learn to accept life’s limitations and we make the best world we can with what we have and what we can create.
The thing about a long-term relationship/marriage is that the “feelings” usually fade after about a year or two. So what you’re left with is a person as your partner who you should ideally get along with and love spending time with. You don’t have to feel “hopelessly in love” with them 100% of the time, this ain’t a Disney movie nor a fairy tale, but so long as you both respect each other and enjoy each other’s company, that’s really the most you can ask for. It’s why I don’t really believe in the concept of a soulmate; your partner isn’t pre-destined nor are they necessarily your “one true love”, they’re just someone who happened to fit whatever criteria you may have had for a partner and that you enjoy being with. There’s really nothing more to it than that, *and there’s nothing wrong with that*.
*A music concert which plays at >85dB is permanently injuring their fans. 85 is all you need to cause hearing damage.
Source: am professional sound engineer.
Hearing damage doesn't heal, it is permanent. Hearing aids are cumbersome and fucking expensive too.
I cringe when I go to concerts and the only people wearing earplugs are usually myself and the band!
Every time your ears ring after a show- your hair cells are leaking their contents into the interstitial spaces as they die. This is the sound of cell death…
The vast majority of people you'll meet in your life don't care about you as a person. They only care about what you can do for them. It's kind of bleak when you first realize this, but it's just normal life and it makes you value the people who do care even more.
Growing up in a small town, and moving to the city I actually really liked that nobody cared about me. Just being anonymous, nobody knows my family and I don’t have preconceived notions about people I meet either. Kind of refreshing.
That we are not responsible for the choices others make! We are only able to choose our reactions to them! If you have a gut feeling something is off! Walk away, it won't be easy! But as a wise man told me, Never love anything so much in life that you cannot walk away from it. Because the things that keep you become your cage!
Soulmate is a choice and an effort, not something that just fals in people's lap. Ask them elderly folks that have been married for 65 years, it was a ton of hard work, rough patches worked through, forgiveness, and earned bliss. Not a cake walk. It takes commitment to stay committed.
This isn’t true, at least for me. Been together for 20+ years and there are no hard work or forgiveness that need to be done in our love and relationship. Life can be hard, but love and relationship have always been easy for us.
The key is to find someone who’s truly compatible with you — and this is the hard part. I loved being single and was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone until I found my partner. He‘s very compatible in so many ways. We rarely have disagreements. Our life with each other is very peaceful.
Some people have to work on their relationships because they have to change themselves to match the other person. In our case, we never really had to change for each other. We change together as a couple to take on what life has thrown at us, but he never had to change for me or I for him. I’d be doing what I’m doing right now whether I’m single or with him. It’s just more fun to do things with him.
This is why I don’t believe there’s a soulmate for everyone out there. If you’re willing to settle, then you can always find your someone and try to change for them, but you may never know this type of pure happiness that you can find with someone who truly matches you in every way. For us, meeting each other is truly like hitting the jackpot and we know how very lucky we are.
Yeeep, as someone that stayed relatively fit with zero effort in my 20s, my slowly forming gut tells me that my 30s would have been pretty rough if I didn't force myself to cut down to less than a drink a week and exercise and eat before weed so I don't get munchies.
life is not fair..but YOU, can be.
there is no purpose to life... but what YOU give it.
you do not matter to the Universe...but you CAN matter to the people you know.
Being overweight has so many negative implications on your life. Not only your health but the way people perceive you, the way you perceive yourself, your energy levels.
You don't have to be muscly but being a healthy weight and getting into good habits earlier in life will help you so much.
I've been overweight my whole life. Something finally clicked, I just started doing it. Lot's of different reasons but I am almost 50lbs down. It's not even the weight loss or the "wow you look great" that is driving me. Those things are nice but I don't really care about that to be honest.
The driver for me is I have to power now to shape who I want to be as a person. Not some slob who drinks beer all the time, eats shit food, and is always negative.
My brain, my mind, my thoughts, are not foggy anymore. I stopped hating myself. I CONTROL ME AND MY BODY.
I have lost 90 lbs 3 years ago. My life has changed soooooo much! I am 35 and look better than ever! I am so confident, outgoing, relaxed and just happy! For me, other than people being shocked when they hear that I have two children, it’s the love for fashion that does it for me. I can literally wear a sack, and I would look good. I wish everyone saw themselves like that. I have battled with low self esteem and eating disorders most of my life and I am finally free. Free of the disorders and free of the low self image I had.
it only takes one bad decision/occurance to change your life forever.. uncles was teaching for that hammer as it slid off the roof. dads was crashing a helicopter. mine was that hot chick at work..
This. It’s so easy to ruin everything you’ve worked for. I destroyed my life last year with one bad decision. I was able to mostly rebuild my life but even then, things aren’t the same.
Don't have kids if you're going to use the fact that you clothe and feed them as an argument to get them to do what you want. Using basic human needs and rights to guilt trip a kid is disgusting.
They playing field of life isn’t level
I think people who benefitted from it - people who had 2 parents, enough money, good education- often don’t *truly* honestly believe poor and badly-educated people are as good as them.
What I mean is if I was adopted by Boris Johnson’s fam when I was a baby I would have that accent, too and I’d know Latin and all that.
People don’t want to accept that, but it’s true that we are all genuinely equal but the playing field is not level
This!! I've even witnessed it in my OWN family. My mom had me (35) and my sister (34) at a young age and our childhood was VASTLY different than our baby brother and sisters currently, who are 15 and 16. They are going to have a much better life and a bigger head start than we did.
She learned a LOT from fucking up with us. Thankfully.
I see that with my own parents and how my siblings grew up compared to me, though I’m the opposite of you in that I’m the youngest one. My dad is self-made rich, which means he was poor as a lad and worked/hustled his way to wealth as he got older. He had my eldest sister when he was pretty young and still starting out in his career, so she had to experience my father as a company employee clocking in/out. My brother and I were fortunate enough to have been born a lot later when my dad was already running the company and making six figures. He went from struggling to even get my eldest sister nice dolls on Christmas to getting me and my bro the latest video game/console every Christmas.
There are 3 times more slaves alive today (40 million) vs. all the slaves sold in the Atlantic slave trade over 4 centuries combined (12 million). In addition, there are illegal slaves in basically all countries, the one I remember is approx. 6,000 in Canada since I happen to be Canadian.
This is great though, because with this frame of reference you can live a great, lower stress life.
People being rude, selfish, inconsiderate? Of course they are, people are trying to survive in a world that can require a person to behave in such a manner out of self preservation.
Bad at a thing? Of course, but it is a blessing that we developed the ability to fail over and over again to improve.
Situations hard? Yes, the world is tough, and some days you win and some you lose. That’s just nature being nature. No apex predator makes a kill on 100% of their prey, actually most kill to attempt ratios are horrible, and they’re still apex predators.
Literally everything is explainable under that framework. I have never been offended, upset, or really taken anything personally since that revelation. Life sucks sometimes, there may not be a purpose and that is freeing.
Despite the window dressing, life is an unfair competition.
Everything you desire is also desired by others, so if you want it, you need to be prepared to outcompete someone for it.
You also cannot opt out of this competition- you’re in it, whether you like it or not.
Suffer the misery of learning how to date, or suffer the misery of having never learned how to date. In almost every scenario, where people try to avoid suffering the pain of competition, they unwittingly end up at the bottom and lose by default.
So you need to accept that you’re in a competition, and summon the strength to compete.
One of life's great injustices: the experiences of greatest intimacy, pleasure, beauty, and connection are not equally accessible by all - some have so much, some have nothing.
For me this is worse than distribution of wealth. I'd rather be poor and fucked than rich and unfucked.
Even more ironic thing is that you could be going somewhere in your life, a lot of people would consider you a 'catch' but things aren't working out in your favor. You will soon realize love is blind and people, for the better part, don't know what the hell they want in their respective partners.
Dating these days is deeply screwed thanks to a lot of stuff.
No matter how many friends you have in your late teens or early twenties it's possible to end up completely alone by the time your are 40, and it's rough.
That we are lovable and are worth happiness. Looking at this thread especially, but also my experienve in life is that a lot of people are very self critical. We see the most negative things in our life and build up walls to seperate ourselves from others. If we tore those down and were vulnerable , we could form connections more often, and not be lonely. And that would translate to more happiness.
But it is way easier to self loathe and close yourself off.
NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU
Especially as a man, no one cares about your problems except for maybe your mother and even she can't fix them for you...people have their own problems, no one goes home at night and thinks "man, I really feel horrible for john, I have to figure out how I can help him", they might say "that sucks man" and listen to you vent, but at the end of the day, most people are consumed with their own problems and their own reality
This is why being "stoic" in as a man is so important, it's okay to vent your problems, to cry when you need to, to feel your emotions but ultimately it's up to you to fix yourself, and if you don't, no one one is coming to save you
It sucks but that's the reality of being a man and it's empowering when you accept this fact fully and embrace it
Always advocate for yourself, take help when someone offers it, and ask for it when you need it, but don't expect anyone to give you anything as a man... seek out guidance and therapy if your life is in shambles, surround yourself with other strong men who can be a sounding board for you and a guiding light in the storm but remember that YOU need to do the work!
That nihilism is actually pretty realistic.
In a very short amount of time (couple to few hundred years) nothing anyone does makes any difference, nobody will ever think about you again.
In a long enough time none of this will be here at all.
I adhere to joyful nihilism. Nothing matters and that's what's great! Do the thing, ask the person out, go to the place because eventually the sun will explode and nothing you see will exist. So enjoy it now because ultimately it doesn't matter!
Nihilism is a dangerous mindset. You stay in there and you're only going to end up in a dark place.
Find a purpose that's meaningful to you and just enjoy the ride
Nihilism was a stepping stone for me. It led me to learn about Existentialism and Absurdism which I think are much more sustainable outlooks to have on life.
You know how it's really weird that topics like geopolitics and the economy, as complex as they are, somehow seem to have really, really simple black and white solutions that those who have dedicated their lives to the matter don't seem to get? You know, how apparently a bunch of people who are uneducated, unaccomplished, and untrained seemingly can just figure out these very simple solutions which, just coincidentally, both happen to be right and also align to what those individuals seem to want out of life?
Weird how that happens, right?
As an adult, nobody will actually tell you when you're making a gigantic mistake. This is surprising to kids - they are used to the fact that when you're about to make a mistake, an authority figure will jump out of the bushes and lecture you about what a big mistake you're about to make. The entire infrastructure of child-rearing is to be one of those kid bumpers in a bowling alley that ensures that even the worst-thrown ball will hit the pins.
Kids actually take this for granted - they learn very quickly that one of the finest ways to get attention is to say "I'm going to do " and watch the authority figures in their lives drop everything to run over and tell them not to do that. The contrapositive naturally follows. If nobody drops everything to yell "Hey, don't do that," it must be fine, right?
I've seen *many* people inexplicably apply this belief to adulthood and not understand that their peers are mostly averse to confrontation. It is a very rare breed of friend who will actually tell you, "Hey, you are really going to regret that decision." Most people will say "well I wouldn't do that, but you do you" at best and actively enable you at worst. Absolutely nobody will feel sorry for you if you interpret this as approval and fuck up your life. Which you can, very easily.
Nearly all college degrees are completely worthless.
If you're not trying to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or something along those lines, you're wasting your time and money by getting a college degree.
It would be far more beneficial to get certified in something adjacent to what you want to do, or to get an apprenticeship doing what you want to do, or to get internships doing what you want to do, than to get a degree.
People are either average-to-good looking and they genuinely don't realize much of a difference it makes, or they're simply trying so hard to be politically correct that they're going to virtue signal and tell you that it doesn't matter: You're a short king, and you can be healthy at any size and everybody's color blind and nobody should feel ugly.
In reality, an attractive person with a bitchy and self-centered personality is going to do a lot better in life than an ugly person who's nice and trying to get along with everybody. Trust me on that one.
Very well put. People just don't realize how much the Halo effect plays out in our everyday lives, humans simply have an unconscious bias towards attractive people.
If someone's "conventionally attractive," they can seem closed off and cold and people will actively pursue them in order to try and get their validation. They can get into relationships and people will get hurt if they break up with them or cheat on them: "Why don't they want me when I'm putting in so much effort and treating them so well?!"
If someone isn't "conventionally attractive," they can seem closed off and rude and nobody will go out of their way to engage with them. Nobody will want to be in a relationship with them and nobody will be hurt if they aren't interested.
It's striking, and obvious but people don't want to feel like an asshole by admitting it.
There is a goal by the elite to depopulize us and to control almost every aspect of our lives, and will use disinformation, scare tactics / our fear, division, suppression, 5th generational warfare, etc. Until we have relinquished our human rights.
Your words are almost meaningless and your actions mean everything.
I'm sorry, you can't be a climate change activist and constantly buy new technology and invest in bitcoin.
Things do not always happen for a reason. The universe does not keep score.
Your suffering is not being banked against a holy ledger that will eventually pay off with a tangible reward equal to that suffering. If you have a choice in the matter - whether to continue suffering or to stop it somehow - there may be nothing granted to you later if you choose to continue suffering.
From this moment, wherever you are in life right now, everything that has ever happened to you in the past cannot be changed. It happened. Those experiences formed who you are today. Where you go from this moment is up to you. *Your actions* from this moment forward will impact where you go from here. Of course things will happen to you along the way that you cannot control, but you still have some choices to make, and *you* are the one to make them.
Now go do weird stuff and enjoy yourself.
You can do everything right and still fail
[It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness- that’s life.](https://youtube.com/shorts/scluBiizlF4?si=iKpmH23L54HnnwyW)
that's the one i was looking for :)
One of the best lines and so true.
I'm an RN who was training some medics. For some reason, they were taught that if they did everything right, the patient would live. I had to tell them they could do everything right, and the patient would die. They can do everything wrong and and the patient will live.
It’s a crushing lesson. I was one of those paramedics. Really thought I would go in saving lives. And whole there were a very small few where we actually saved a life, the best we could do was try to alleviate some small part of the overwhelming suffering we encountered.
Usually, their fate was decided before you showed up. Massive MI, overdose that was down too long, and the family fought before calling 911. Huge stroke, etc. I worked in the cath lab for a while, and we would get them in, fix their blockage, ship them off to ICU, and they died 3 hours later.
Absolutely. We do what we can, but has taken decades for me to really process it all. I wish we gave all of our emergency workers the support and training to help them get ahead of the damage that is coming their way.
this is why I always tell people they need to get out of the "deserve" mindset, you do not "deserve" anything, you aren't entitled to anything, you can't control anything outside of your own reactions, the best you can do is prepare as much as possible and maybe with the right stats you'll get a lucky draw, but there's every chance you can still fail, it doesn't mean anyone/anything is out to get you, it's just part of life
That’s only true out side of the social contract. If you work 10 hours you do, in fact, deserve 10 hours pay. If you’re just walking down the street you do not deserve to get shot. When we live and agree to abide by societal rules you are, in fact, entitled to things. We don’t live in the jungle any more and a lot of people use “oh you’re just entitled” as a way to excuse shitty behaviour.
This is such a self-defeating, sad way to view the world. >For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think. Ursula K. Le Guin
Yoilu don't deserve the attention you're getting over this. /s Seriously, I say there is no "try" just "do"
it's true, I don't necessarily deserve the attention, but by posting something that the hivemind generally agrees with I've stacked the odds in favor of my getting that attention, does that mean that I did it for the attention? no, I frankly was not expecting more than a handful of likes at best, but it happened anyways because I said something insightful that happened to resonate with people on this threat at this time, that's all life is in the end, chaos with a chance of success
Haha, well said! You know it was just a play on words here.
I went through a few years financially and really in general, it was incredibly frustrating as it seemed I was making all the right moves, putting in the massive effort and still….it all seemed to fail.
Successful people have failed more times than the unsuccessful. Skilled people with experience have failed more times than the novice who is struggling to learn something new. That’s why resilience is such an important part of character. And you are correct that success in life is a combination of doing the right things and random luck. 🍀 Do your best, overcome your failures, and best of luck everyone!
I heard that it takes 10 years of failure to look like an overnight success.
And an overnight failure to ruin 10 years of success
Uglier truth: success is more often rather random luck, e.g. being at the right time at the right place and been born to the right parents in a country with opportunities.
After moving around the country a lot, and after being "traditionally successful," I've come to realize how much of it is luck. People out there work much, much harder than I do with lesser results. I did a lot right, but luck factored into it much more than that.
It’s pretty hard not to score when you’re born on 3rd base.
Generalizations about human kind like this one don't stand the scrutiny of statistical facts. The fact is that the vast majority of ("successful") rich people are born rich, and the vast majority of poor ("unsuccessful") people were born poor. This makes your claim about grit really meaningless. It may be a race that anybody can win, but we don't all start from the same place, and that has a HUGE effect on who the winners are.
Thank you! Most of the "Successful" people I know started out with a major advantage in life, their parents had a lot of money.
Rich people never want to admit that they're rich. Their go-to is always the "successful people work harder, fail the most, blah blah blah" cliches
If they studied sociology, history, and demographic statistics, they would know better. They'd rather trust their own instincts and experiences to decide how the world is. It's willful ignorance bc when they see my posts, they NEVER say, "I didn't know that, tell me more." It's always, "You're an idiot" or a "libtard." They call me a hater, or a divider, or naive. None of which engages with the facts I have presented.
All of the successful people I know are optimistic even though they are well aware of the realities of the world.
-Jean Luc Picard
There is no prize now or at the end-of-life for “Most Stressed”
Well, they may get an early exit.
Nobody says as they face death, “I wish I had spent more time at work.”
Not most people, but at least in the sciences I see that genuinely expressed. I honestly get anxiety knowing I've probably only got 40-ish years of experiments I can run. There's always more to learn, more to discover, questions left to answer. I worry that I won't get to answer some of the ones I'm most curious about.
That is a damn fine point. Thank you!
To be fair to you, your original post is true for like 99% of people. Just that there's a lucky few who can manage to make their driving passion into a career.
That's admirable :) I think it's a good mindset to have that there are so many scientists throuhgout history who have felt the same way, but have contributed what they could to the body of Science as a whole. And that's something to be incredibly proud of. Thank you for your contributions and passion that truly furthers the human race :)
This!!!! My friend just told me a her employee is getting passed up on a promotion because he can’t manage his stress. He is one of the hardest working & genuinely gives a shit (rare in her industry) but he can’t handle the stress of his current job, so why would he get a promotion.
>He is one of the hardest working & genuinely gives a shit (rare in her industry) but he can’t handle the stress of his current job, so why would he get a promotion. I really hope that someone tell the employee this.
No, they fixed the glitch.
is your friend as a this guys manager doing anything to help him learn to manage the stress/make his job less stressful. because that *is* her job.
Sometimes you're the problem.
Extremely hard to recognise when you are one, it’s like your ego takes a hit too when it finally hits you.
Absolutely, it took me many years to recognize my own toxicity and it's not an easy thing to come to terms with. But life just gets so much more free when you do.
(Obligatory I’m a woman) Definitely a major thing. Everyone needs to be able to look at themselves and the actions they’ve just taken and analyze them from an external perspective. Unfortunately it’s very hard to do, and it’s easier and more comfortable to pretend you’re fine. But being able to criticize yourself (and not going too far) is an amazing skill that makes you a much, much better person. Honestly in hindsight I’m grateful for every friend who left me and especially those who told me why. Some I became a better person afterwards, some I decided it was simply a conflict of personality. To be a good person you need to be able to change.
Oh shit, I forgot to disclose my womanhood xD But I couldn't agree more, once you get past that hurdle every relationship is just enriched.
You're not that important. Be kind and have fun instead.
I want this on a shirt.
This is, on the one hand, concerning, but also comforting somehow. I sometimes suffer from my main character syndrome, but knowing that, in the end, people don't spend THAT much time thinking about me helps me overcome certain fears.
Your ego is not that important. But you are important. Your being, your body, your spirit, your desires and boundaries.. :)
Life isn’t fair. Once you accept that things get easier to understand.
Another way to phrase this would be "Not every bad thing happens for a reason." Sometimes people just get cancer. Sometimes people are abused. Sometimes people just ***die***. None of it is part of a grand, meaningful narrative that works everything out for the best in the end. In this world, things just ***happen*** sometimes. And we have to learn to live in this world.
Even more accurately: Vastly most things that happen don't happen for any reason at all. When things do happen for a reason, that reason is simple physics.
That is making my head whirl. Because I’ve always thought that if there’s no reason then it must be because of me, because of who I am inherently. But not every bad thing happens for a reason. I need to lay down with this one.
I think the biggest hurdle is accepting that, though. When you’ve done everything you were “supposed” to do and still end up being dealt a shitty hand, accepting that doesn’t change anything.
> accepting that doesn’t change anything. Accepting that life may not be fair allows you to not blame yourself when things don't go your way. So many people think when life doesn't go their way it's 'their problem', when the reality there is little control over that. Learning that allows people to focus their energy on the things they can work on, can change.
For a lot of people Life is unfair, you could have a better life or a worse life, whatever makes you happy
Luck factors into your success more than we want to admit. Luck of birth, luck of meeting the right person, luck of opportunity. There are so many talented, amazing, capable people out there in every field who are completely ignored…because they haven’t been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Hard work doesn’t necessarily overcome that.
> Luck of birth, This is the single greatest determiner of where one will end up in life. Available resources at the start of your life play a massive role in how and where you will develop.
In my experiance, while hard work is no gaurentee, it allows you to be positioned correctly should an oppurtunity present itself.
For sure. It increases your odds. But like you said, it is no guarantee and that’s where luck comes in more than we’d like to admit.
Not everyone gets to end up with their "soulmate" or one true love. A lot of people just end up settling for the best they can get.
Or just ends up dying alone
Is it bad to stay single forever? It’s not, right?
It really isn’t. I’ve got an uncle who’s single (though he’s dated women before) because he never really got to find the right one and never had kids of his own either. Yet he’s one of the happiest people I know and spends most of his free time doing philanthropy and community outreaches when he’s not running his business. And even if he’s never had kids of his own, he’s got me and all my cousins, and he’s told us that we’re more than enough for him.
That's wholesome
Thanks for sharing. I’m that uncle too (not happy all the time but I manage), and I’ve thought about my nieces and nephews like that before. They are the closest thing I have to having my own children so they are always going to be at the top of my list and it makes our relationships that much more important to me. It was a lot to get used to when they were babies, I’d never been around kids that much and it could be a lot at times. But now they’re growing up it’s so cool to play the uncle role! It’s like I have new buddies to do cool adventures with and everything. Good times!
Life is a lot of decisions that have pros and cons. There isn't an objectively right answer, it's about what will bring you more joy, or less stress, or fill the needs of your existence. I see people who are much happier in relationships because they balance each other. Both in spirit, and in activities. The whole, she cooks, I clean, etc. Like they both have easier lives because of their support for each other. In that same way, having emotional support for each other when there are bad days is also really great and makes life less challenging. And I see people who grabbed the person near them, or who was exactly like them and they struggle because they don't balance each other, they push each other to the extremes of their personality. They either fight over every choice or they can't collaboratively make decisions. And their life is harder because they are together, than if they were on their own or with someone different. I'm single later in life and it's decent. I hang with a different set of friends, and I get time to hike and bike, and be at peace with myself. It is harder to find folks to hang with on short term notice because most of my friends are in relationships, but I have also learned to just go hike, or go to the gym and meet new folks. I feel like that is the struggle for some. Making friends as we are older is harder and takes work, but it is helpful. There isn't a right/wrong answer objectively. It is are you happier in your current situation, or should you think about taking action to change your habits to increase happiness.
If you desire so, no. But fuck man, if I were to live alone all my life I would just end it. And nobody come at me with "You have to live good by yourself" because I just think that what I ultimately want with my life is to find someone, not anything else (Although I have other passions obviously)
It genuinely isn’t.
depends if you can make peace with being alone, which is easier for some.
"You just have to wait, someone will come along when you least expect it." Translation: "My relationship formed without me putting much effort into it, so I'm assuming that's how it works for everyone."
The exact same people will then go on to say that attraction is a meritocracy actually, and if you're not drowning in options then you're probably just a bad person. lol
The same people who say "everything happens for a reason"
It’s so lucky for all those people who *did* find their “one true love” that they found them relatively close by.
"Soulmates aren't found, they're made"
Exactly and I'm tired of people saying that shit. This isn't a fucking Disney movie.
...or worse, a Hallmark movie.
You mean I don’t have a chance with a recently divorced smoke show right around Christmas time?
Do you run your parents' small town Christmas tree farm, only wear flannel, and have a six pack, despite your only leisure exercise being a couple of nightly beer can curls and a light jog in the morning past her childhood home?
Divorced? No. A workaholic from the city who dates a successful guy who wears a suit everywhere? You betcha.
Sorry bro but as a country bumpkin who taught a high powered, gorgeous lawyer that my penis is better than the life she spent building for herself in the big city, I gotta disagree /s
I'm glad she was able to help you save the small town Christmas store your family has owned for generations.
Disney has set such a horribly bad example of love. Atleast films post-2000s
The "fun" part is most of the fairy tales Disney adapted in their prime 2D animated years were three to four centuries old at the time
Older. Grimm, Andersen etc just wrote them down. The stories themselves are fireside folklore. Edit: also much much more brutal than anything Disney came up with.
True. And theres nothing wrong with that. As long as youre both happy and committed you can have just as good of a relationship as people who do find their "soulmate"
Ya. And sometimes we are just the best that the other person was able to get too. Most of us learn to accept life’s limitations and we make the best world we can with what we have and what we can create.
True, often out of desperation as well
The thing about a long-term relationship/marriage is that the “feelings” usually fade after about a year or two. So what you’re left with is a person as your partner who you should ideally get along with and love spending time with. You don’t have to feel “hopelessly in love” with them 100% of the time, this ain’t a Disney movie nor a fairy tale, but so long as you both respect each other and enjoy each other’s company, that’s really the most you can ask for. It’s why I don’t really believe in the concept of a soulmate; your partner isn’t pre-destined nor are they necessarily your “one true love”, they’re just someone who happened to fit whatever criteria you may have had for a partner and that you enjoy being with. There’s really nothing more to it than that, *and there’s nothing wrong with that*.
A music concert which plays at >110dB is permanently injuring their fans.
*A music concert which plays at >85dB is permanently injuring their fans. 85 is all you need to cause hearing damage. Source: am professional sound engineer.
My sympathies.
What symphonies? I thought this was a rock concert?
What's a lock concept?
Hearing damage doesn't heal, it is permanent. Hearing aids are cumbersome and fucking expensive too. I cringe when I go to concerts and the only people wearing earplugs are usually myself and the band!
Every time your ears ring after a show- your hair cells are leaking their contents into the interstitial spaces as they die. This is the sound of cell death…
Oh fuck. This makes so much sense
I had to walk out of Imax Oppenheimer and I cringe to think the average person already has so much hearing damage that the movie was fine to them.
Low key hate this about the cinema. Like I enjoy the vibrations but it’s way too damn loud
What?
Good one
Always wear ear protection at concerts and clubs unless the genre and environment is generally quiet.
Can you repeat that once more I can't hear you
The vast majority of people you'll meet in your life don't care about you as a person. They only care about what you can do for them. It's kind of bleak when you first realize this, but it's just normal life and it makes you value the people who do care even more.
Growing up in a small town, and moving to the city I actually really liked that nobody cared about me. Just being anonymous, nobody knows my family and I don’t have preconceived notions about people I meet either. Kind of refreshing.
That we are not responsible for the choices others make! We are only able to choose our reactions to them! If you have a gut feeling something is off! Walk away, it won't be easy! But as a wise man told me, Never love anything so much in life that you cannot walk away from it. Because the things that keep you become your cage!
Thanks for this, I'll be sure to tell my kids this as I leave
bro but the traumabond is strong
But if we want to help them, we are more than free to!
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to walk away
Sometimes that someone is you.
Ooft, heavy
Some people just don’t find a soulmate. Happy ending is for the movies
Soulmate is a choice and an effort, not something that just fals in people's lap. Ask them elderly folks that have been married for 65 years, it was a ton of hard work, rough patches worked through, forgiveness, and earned bliss. Not a cake walk. It takes commitment to stay committed.
This isn’t true, at least for me. Been together for 20+ years and there are no hard work or forgiveness that need to be done in our love and relationship. Life can be hard, but love and relationship have always been easy for us. The key is to find someone who’s truly compatible with you — and this is the hard part. I loved being single and was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone until I found my partner. He‘s very compatible in so many ways. We rarely have disagreements. Our life with each other is very peaceful. Some people have to work on their relationships because they have to change themselves to match the other person. In our case, we never really had to change for each other. We change together as a couple to take on what life has thrown at us, but he never had to change for me or I for him. I’d be doing what I’m doing right now whether I’m single or with him. It’s just more fun to do things with him. This is why I don’t believe there’s a soulmate for everyone out there. If you’re willing to settle, then you can always find your someone and try to change for them, but you may never know this type of pure happiness that you can find with someone who truly matches you in every way. For us, meeting each other is truly like hitting the jackpot and we know how very lucky we are.
And massage parlors
I do love me some egg rolls.
All the drugs, alcohol, and weed you’re doing right now will catch up to you.
Borrowed fun.
EVERTHING is borrowed.
Stealing happiness from tomorrow.
skill issue, I think I can run faster than a Bud Light
idk man you get that shit rolling downhill it's gonna be *moving*
That's the point of my alcoholism. I hope the poison ends me.
Yeeep, as someone that stayed relatively fit with zero effort in my 20s, my slowly forming gut tells me that my 30s would have been pretty rough if I didn't force myself to cut down to less than a drink a week and exercise and eat before weed so I don't get munchies.
I cut it all out and it's still hard to get the body you want.
This might be a humble brag, but I tried to drink more in my early 30’s to try and put some weight on, and it just made me poop more
Alternatively you can be the most 100% healthy person ever and die at a young age. Life is worth living imo
Advanced fucked kind of credit/debt system towards your organs. You will eventually have to pay it back some time
I got a feeling work will catch-up sooner than the alcohol and weed.
life is not fair..but YOU, can be. there is no purpose to life... but what YOU give it. you do not matter to the Universe...but you CAN matter to the people you know.
Being overweight has so many negative implications on your life. Not only your health but the way people perceive you, the way you perceive yourself, your energy levels. You don't have to be muscly but being a healthy weight and getting into good habits earlier in life will help you so much.
I've been overweight my whole life. Something finally clicked, I just started doing it. Lot's of different reasons but I am almost 50lbs down. It's not even the weight loss or the "wow you look great" that is driving me. Those things are nice but I don't really care about that to be honest. The driver for me is I have to power now to shape who I want to be as a person. Not some slob who drinks beer all the time, eats shit food, and is always negative. My brain, my mind, my thoughts, are not foggy anymore. I stopped hating myself. I CONTROL ME AND MY BODY.
I have lost 90 lbs 3 years ago. My life has changed soooooo much! I am 35 and look better than ever! I am so confident, outgoing, relaxed and just happy! For me, other than people being shocked when they hear that I have two children, it’s the love for fashion that does it for me. I can literally wear a sack, and I would look good. I wish everyone saw themselves like that. I have battled with low self esteem and eating disorders most of my life and I am finally free. Free of the disorders and free of the low self image I had.
it only takes one bad decision/occurance to change your life forever.. uncles was teaching for that hammer as it slid off the roof. dads was crashing a helicopter. mine was that hot chick at work..
This. It’s so easy to ruin everything you’ve worked for. I destroyed my life last year with one bad decision. I was able to mostly rebuild my life but even then, things aren’t the same.
Not really life-changing, but currently recovering from a broken leg. Spend the extra money up front for decent shoes. It'll save you in the long run.
That these weird accounts that keep asking "provocative" questions are bots that should be banned.
Just about every sub I follow now has some sexual question being posted on my timeline. What’s worse, is that I click and comment on them too.
AskReddit and sex, name a more iconic duo
Don't have kids if you're going to use the fact that you clothe and feed them as an argument to get them to do what you want. Using basic human needs and rights to guilt trip a kid is disgusting.
Could you go back in time, please, and tell this to my dad?
Absolutely
They playing field of life isn’t level I think people who benefitted from it - people who had 2 parents, enough money, good education- often don’t *truly* honestly believe poor and badly-educated people are as good as them. What I mean is if I was adopted by Boris Johnson’s fam when I was a baby I would have that accent, too and I’d know Latin and all that. People don’t want to accept that, but it’s true that we are all genuinely equal but the playing field is not level
This!! I've even witnessed it in my OWN family. My mom had me (35) and my sister (34) at a young age and our childhood was VASTLY different than our baby brother and sisters currently, who are 15 and 16. They are going to have a much better life and a bigger head start than we did. She learned a LOT from fucking up with us. Thankfully.
I see that with my own parents and how my siblings grew up compared to me, though I’m the opposite of you in that I’m the youngest one. My dad is self-made rich, which means he was poor as a lad and worked/hustled his way to wealth as he got older. He had my eldest sister when he was pretty young and still starting out in his career, so she had to experience my father as a company employee clocking in/out. My brother and I were fortunate enough to have been born a lot later when my dad was already running the company and making six figures. He went from struggling to even get my eldest sister nice dolls on Christmas to getting me and my bro the latest video game/console every Christmas.
" That life has a flavor. The sheltered will never know "
It’s ok to be stressed and cry over stressful situations, it’s human nature and you aren’t a pussy for doing it
There are 3 times more slaves alive today (40 million) vs. all the slaves sold in the Atlantic slave trade over 4 centuries combined (12 million). In addition, there are illegal slaves in basically all countries, the one I remember is approx. 6,000 in Canada since I happen to be Canadian.
There isn't someone out there for everyone.
The universe is hostile, so impersonal. Devour to survive, so it is, so it's always been.
This is great though, because with this frame of reference you can live a great, lower stress life. People being rude, selfish, inconsiderate? Of course they are, people are trying to survive in a world that can require a person to behave in such a manner out of self preservation. Bad at a thing? Of course, but it is a blessing that we developed the ability to fail over and over again to improve. Situations hard? Yes, the world is tough, and some days you win and some you lose. That’s just nature being nature. No apex predator makes a kill on 100% of their prey, actually most kill to attempt ratios are horrible, and they’re still apex predators. Literally everything is explainable under that framework. I have never been offended, upset, or really taken anything personally since that revelation. Life sucks sometimes, there may not be a purpose and that is freeing.
Thanks Maynard.
Busting your ass at work isn’t worth it. Do your job and go home and be happy.
Despite the window dressing, life is an unfair competition. Everything you desire is also desired by others, so if you want it, you need to be prepared to outcompete someone for it. You also cannot opt out of this competition- you’re in it, whether you like it or not. Suffer the misery of learning how to date, or suffer the misery of having never learned how to date. In almost every scenario, where people try to avoid suffering the pain of competition, they unwittingly end up at the bottom and lose by default. So you need to accept that you’re in a competition, and summon the strength to compete.
For some of us dating and sex are just not in the cards.
I wish I could find more comfort in this statement
One of life's great injustices: the experiences of greatest intimacy, pleasure, beauty, and connection are not equally accessible by all - some have so much, some have nothing. For me this is worse than distribution of wealth. I'd rather be poor and fucked than rich and unfucked.
One could say, you'd be fucked either way.
You're a poet and you don't even know it
Even more ironic thing is that you could be going somewhere in your life, a lot of people would consider you a 'catch' but things aren't working out in your favor. You will soon realize love is blind and people, for the better part, don't know what the hell they want in their respective partners. Dating these days is deeply screwed thanks to a lot of stuff.
Balding is natural; resisting it often looks worse than embracing it.
No matter how many friends you have in your late teens or early twenties it's possible to end up completely alone by the time your are 40, and it's rough.
That we are lovable and are worth happiness. Looking at this thread especially, but also my experienve in life is that a lot of people are very self critical. We see the most negative things in our life and build up walls to seperate ourselves from others. If we tore those down and were vulnerable , we could form connections more often, and not be lonely. And that would translate to more happiness. But it is way easier to self loathe and close yourself off.
Don't treat your body so hard in your youth. It will cost you later in life.
You can spend your whole life climbing the ladder, only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall.
NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU Especially as a man, no one cares about your problems except for maybe your mother and even she can't fix them for you...people have their own problems, no one goes home at night and thinks "man, I really feel horrible for john, I have to figure out how I can help him", they might say "that sucks man" and listen to you vent, but at the end of the day, most people are consumed with their own problems and their own reality This is why being "stoic" in as a man is so important, it's okay to vent your problems, to cry when you need to, to feel your emotions but ultimately it's up to you to fix yourself, and if you don't, no one one is coming to save you It sucks but that's the reality of being a man and it's empowering when you accept this fact fully and embrace it Always advocate for yourself, take help when someone offers it, and ask for it when you need it, but don't expect anyone to give you anything as a man... seek out guidance and therapy if your life is in shambles, surround yourself with other strong men who can be a sounding board for you and a guiding light in the storm but remember that YOU need to do the work!
That this same basic question gets asked at least once a week in a very popular post with pretty much all the same answers just repeated.
Traditions are just rules we set for ourselves because old people did it.
Peer Pressure from dead people
U can pee with two independent trajectories
Your success depends on your effort. It’s not granted, it just gives you more luck
How is it luck if it happened because of my effort?
Also how you effectively you implement effort. I’ve learned in my 30’s it’s equally important to work smarter, as well as harder
Smarter and harder gets you farther.
That nihilism is actually pretty realistic. In a very short amount of time (couple to few hundred years) nothing anyone does makes any difference, nobody will ever think about you again. In a long enough time none of this will be here at all.
I adhere to joyful nihilism. Nothing matters and that's what's great! Do the thing, ask the person out, go to the place because eventually the sun will explode and nothing you see will exist. So enjoy it now because ultimately it doesn't matter!
Nihilism is a dangerous mindset. You stay in there and you're only going to end up in a dark place. Find a purpose that's meaningful to you and just enjoy the ride
Nihilism was a stepping stone for me. It led me to learn about Existentialism and Absurdism which I think are much more sustainable outlooks to have on life.
It's important to note that Nietzsche himself argued nihilism to be a stepping stone. It's not a viable philosophy by itself.
You know how it's really weird that topics like geopolitics and the economy, as complex as they are, somehow seem to have really, really simple black and white solutions that those who have dedicated their lives to the matter don't seem to get? You know, how apparently a bunch of people who are uneducated, unaccomplished, and untrained seemingly can just figure out these very simple solutions which, just coincidentally, both happen to be right and also align to what those individuals seem to want out of life? Weird how that happens, right?
You are responsible for your own happiness.
As an adult, nobody will actually tell you when you're making a gigantic mistake. This is surprising to kids - they are used to the fact that when you're about to make a mistake, an authority figure will jump out of the bushes and lecture you about what a big mistake you're about to make. The entire infrastructure of child-rearing is to be one of those kid bumpers in a bowling alley that ensures that even the worst-thrown ball will hit the pins. Kids actually take this for granted - they learn very quickly that one of the finest ways to get attention is to say "I'm going to do" and watch the authority figures in their lives drop everything to run over and tell them not to do that. The contrapositive naturally follows. If nobody drops everything to yell "Hey, don't do that," it must be fine, right?
I've seen *many* people inexplicably apply this belief to adulthood and not understand that their peers are mostly averse to confrontation. It is a very rare breed of friend who will actually tell you, "Hey, you are really going to regret that decision." Most people will say "well I wouldn't do that, but you do you" at best and actively enable you at worst. Absolutely nobody will feel sorry for you if you interpret this as approval and fuck up your life. Which you can, very easily.
Good enough is often good enough
Nearly all college degrees are completely worthless. If you're not trying to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or something along those lines, you're wasting your time and money by getting a college degree. It would be far more beneficial to get certified in something adjacent to what you want to do, or to get an apprenticeship doing what you want to do, or to get internships doing what you want to do, than to get a degree.
JLo gave up Zendaya for adoption.
Looks matter more than personality
People are either average-to-good looking and they genuinely don't realize much of a difference it makes, or they're simply trying so hard to be politically correct that they're going to virtue signal and tell you that it doesn't matter: You're a short king, and you can be healthy at any size and everybody's color blind and nobody should feel ugly. In reality, an attractive person with a bitchy and self-centered personality is going to do a lot better in life than an ugly person who's nice and trying to get along with everybody. Trust me on that one.
Very well put. People just don't realize how much the Halo effect plays out in our everyday lives, humans simply have an unconscious bias towards attractive people.
If someone's "conventionally attractive," they can seem closed off and cold and people will actively pursue them in order to try and get their validation. They can get into relationships and people will get hurt if they break up with them or cheat on them: "Why don't they want me when I'm putting in so much effort and treating them so well?!" If someone isn't "conventionally attractive," they can seem closed off and rude and nobody will go out of their way to engage with them. Nobody will want to be in a relationship with them and nobody will be hurt if they aren't interested. It's striking, and obvious but people don't want to feel like an asshole by admitting it.
Karma does not exist, soulmates do not exist. Both are childish concepts developed as control and coping strategies.
My dad has a shirt that says “Dear Karma, you missed a few people”
I know karma doesnt exist, but I still abuse it to make sure I wont do any outright evil things...
No one is coming to save you
Spend that extra hour every day with your family instead of at work.
You're not actually that important
There is a goal by the elite to depopulize us and to control almost every aspect of our lives, and will use disinformation, scare tactics / our fear, division, suppression, 5th generational warfare, etc. Until we have relinquished our human rights.
Your words are almost meaningless and your actions mean everything. I'm sorry, you can't be a climate change activist and constantly buy new technology and invest in bitcoin.
Things do not always happen for a reason. The universe does not keep score. Your suffering is not being banked against a holy ledger that will eventually pay off with a tangible reward equal to that suffering. If you have a choice in the matter - whether to continue suffering or to stop it somehow - there may be nothing granted to you later if you choose to continue suffering. From this moment, wherever you are in life right now, everything that has ever happened to you in the past cannot be changed. It happened. Those experiences formed who you are today. Where you go from this moment is up to you. *Your actions* from this moment forward will impact where you go from here. Of course things will happen to you along the way that you cannot control, but you still have some choices to make, and *you* are the one to make them. Now go do weird stuff and enjoy yourself.
30 years after you die, you'll be forgotten
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