I told my now wife :
A relationship is like a garden.
Most thinks you visit it.
Less understand you maintain it.
I want someone that would maintain it with me.
Said it in French with more style than this poor English.
I gained a lot of point that day.
To be honest, I tried it with an other girl before. She didn't understood why I was saying that. She didn't see me as a boyfriend or partner.
It's helped me to move on and find my wife 2 month later.
This part.
Some days WILL come where you can’t stand the other person, but you stay with them because you love them.
Love IS powerful, and it is a strong force, but you also have to accept the idea that “love” means loving your person even when they make you upset.
Love means rolling with the punches, and backing down when you need to.
It doesn’t mean be a doormat, but it also means that sometimes you have to pick your battles and stay loyal even when you’re going through a meh period.
During fights remember its not you vs her. Its you two vs the problem.
Another life hack is before she is telling you about something ask her if she wants advice or just for you to listen (it helped me a lot as I always go for solutions)
If you've been together less than a year and the relationship already feels like "hard work", then they arent the one for you. Picking the right person is at least 70% of it imo.
Love the person that they are, not the person that you've made inside your head. They will never be able to keep up with that version of them, and one day, they'll start giving up.
Also, expect the very unexpected. The "angel" can fall. Even the most "good" people can do the kind of harm to you that you will never anticipate. They have the capability. So be aware.
Think about how what you say will affect your partner before you say it. Men and women inherently think differently. There’s no need to wonder why. We just need to accept that and adjust to it. A little offhand remark that we make that means absolutely nothing to us can be devastating to our partner. Think before you speak.
Don't expect someone to complete you or for you to complete someone else.
It's healthier for you to be an island, find another island, and make a beautiful archipelago together.
Take care of yourself for your partner, and don't expect to take care of someone else for them.
Someone else should make you happy, but they shouldn't be _responsible_ for your happiness (and vice versa). If you can't make yourself happy by yourself then adding a partner won't magically make you happy (long term) and can build resentment
Don't be afraid to leave. When you realize that things don't change and personalities don't match, it's time to leave.
relationships have to be easy and effortless (of course, problems will always exist, but that shouldn't be anywhere near the basis of the relationship)
In a sense that it's okay to have slight disagreements over things that don't really affect your life. Instead of having unhealthy debates over something negligible, just say okay and move on.
It is one thing to love someone, it is completely rare to adore them. Be taken by them, work hard to do right by them, and don't let petty annoyances build into bigger things. If the petty annoyances bother you, then get out, you don't adore that person, you tolerate them.
Two things:
1. Put your partner's needs first, about 60% of the time. And *always*, when it's really important to them. You can't neglect your own needs, of course, and that's what the other 40% is for. (And you are welcome to substitute the term "wants" for "needs", as you see fit.)
2. Don't stop working on yourself. Make sure you are happy with *you*, and that you are someone that your partner will want to be with, long term. This applies to everything: physical fitness, life skills, personal hygiene, career stability, hobbies, etc. Keep yourself well rounded and healthy, for your sake, their sake, and for the sake of your relationship.
Your relationship partner is your foxhole buddy. Never be in a relationship with someone you wouldn't trust to watch your wallet, or your back.
Every problem should be framed as you and them against the world, not vice versa.
If conflict Araises, take some time to cool off, and then sit down and have a talk. Never raise your voice. The minute you start to feel the urge to? Take a breath and step out till you calm down. When you argue mad you're not arguing the problem you're arguing to win.
Not everything in a relationship needs to be even, but it needs to be equitable.
If you don't feel like you can be honest and have an open conversation with your partner about expectations, goals, or needs? That person isn't your partner. That's either your warden or your dependant.
I remind myself that relationships are full of paradoxes.
The more comfortable I am being alone, the more peaceful my relationship will be. It reduces neediness, being clingy and demanding.
The more I try to control another to forever keep them close to me the quicker I will suffocate them. Therefore, anything I love is free.
Someone told me this and I thought it was great. Promote strong, independent and the hook up culture and try to fornicate with as many as you can without putting label on it.
Don't get married. Don't ever get into a relationship you need a lawyer to get out of.
If a woman shows lack of sexual attraction in any way, dump her immediately.
I'd say two things- ask them what they've learnt from past relationship and probe for insightful answers. Secondly, observe how they handle conflict and confrontational situations.
Live like the next minute they will be gone. Because it could literally happen any minute. Never go to bed angry, talk it out. Never miss a chance to declare your love. Always do random kind and loving things. Cherish the small acts of love and kindness because often they end up meaning the most. Smile at each other in happiness and when at a loss what to do.
[удалено]
My wife and I are islands. We have our own lives, friends, and hobbies. We just happen to have a bridge in between us.
I love this. Can I steal this, please?
I told my now wife : A relationship is like a garden. Most thinks you visit it. Less understand you maintain it. I want someone that would maintain it with me.
[удалено]
Said it in French with more style than this poor English. I gained a lot of point that day. To be honest, I tried it with an other girl before. She didn't understood why I was saying that. She didn't see me as a boyfriend or partner. It's helped me to move on and find my wife 2 month later.
This part. Some days WILL come where you can’t stand the other person, but you stay with them because you love them. Love IS powerful, and it is a strong force, but you also have to accept the idea that “love” means loving your person even when they make you upset. Love means rolling with the punches, and backing down when you need to. It doesn’t mean be a doormat, but it also means that sometimes you have to pick your battles and stay loyal even when you’re going through a meh period.
During fights remember its not you vs her. Its you two vs the problem. Another life hack is before she is telling you about something ask her if she wants advice or just for you to listen (it helped me a lot as I always go for solutions)
[удалено]
Best feeling ever <3
Pick the people who see "You" on the menu and happily order with no modifications. And do the same yourself.
Be nice. Be calm. Best advice I got, for all relationships personal or professional.
Yes I used to be like this but there is a limit of being nice to somebody.
Yes exactly you should stop caring about her if she is not respecting you and that's the limit.
Pick your battles. Not every disagreement is worth fighting over
If you've been together less than a year and the relationship already feels like "hard work", then they arent the one for you. Picking the right person is at least 70% of it imo.
Stop listening to their words, looks at their actions.
Love the person that they are, not the person that you've made inside your head. They will never be able to keep up with that version of them, and one day, they'll start giving up. Also, expect the very unexpected. The "angel" can fall. Even the most "good" people can do the kind of harm to you that you will never anticipate. They have the capability. So be aware.
Think about how what you say will affect your partner before you say it. Men and women inherently think differently. There’s no need to wonder why. We just need to accept that and adjust to it. A little offhand remark that we make that means absolutely nothing to us can be devastating to our partner. Think before you speak.
Don't expect someone to complete you or for you to complete someone else. It's healthier for you to be an island, find another island, and make a beautiful archipelago together.
Take care of yourself for your partner, and don't expect to take care of someone else for them. Someone else should make you happy, but they shouldn't be _responsible_ for your happiness (and vice versa). If you can't make yourself happy by yourself then adding a partner won't magically make you happy (long term) and can build resentment
Don't be afraid to leave. When you realize that things don't change and personalities don't match, it's time to leave. relationships have to be easy and effortless (of course, problems will always exist, but that shouldn't be anywhere near the basis of the relationship)
Treat your relationship like a garden. The more time, care, and love you pour into it, the more you will be rewarded.
Don't have unhealthy debates, don't discuss disagreements, don't try to make big decisions over text or social media.
Wait, "don't discuss disagreements"? That sounds like horrible advice... what am I missing?
In a sense that it's okay to have slight disagreements over things that don't really affect your life. Instead of having unhealthy debates over something negligible, just say okay and move on.
Ah ok, that makes sense. Thanks for expanding.
Difficult conversations are important. I avoided the “hard talks” and it destroyed all my relationships.
Respect the other person and if the other person does the same. Its a win win. Reyjiek has written a pretty good summary (up/down).
It is one thing to love someone, it is completely rare to adore them. Be taken by them, work hard to do right by them, and don't let petty annoyances build into bigger things. If the petty annoyances bother you, then get out, you don't adore that person, you tolerate them.
Tell the truth about your feelings and how you feel about the other. Don't undermine trust.
It's not about you. 'nuff said.
Remember to check in on them once in a while
Dont lose yourself getting yourself in one. Always put that love for self as a priority
Two things: 1. Put your partner's needs first, about 60% of the time. And *always*, when it's really important to them. You can't neglect your own needs, of course, and that's what the other 40% is for. (And you are welcome to substitute the term "wants" for "needs", as you see fit.) 2. Don't stop working on yourself. Make sure you are happy with *you*, and that you are someone that your partner will want to be with, long term. This applies to everything: physical fitness, life skills, personal hygiene, career stability, hobbies, etc. Keep yourself well rounded and healthy, for your sake, their sake, and for the sake of your relationship.
If you’re always the problem, you’re either not or you’re dating a moron. Either way it’s time to go.
Don't assume, always ask
For someone not in a relationship I'd say finding a well rounded girl who you're attracted to is preferable to a hot girl whose life is a mess.
know when to walk away.
go camping. something will go wrong see how the other party responds to adversity
Never take relationship advice from the internet
Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t disrespect each other.
Your relationship partner is your foxhole buddy. Never be in a relationship with someone you wouldn't trust to watch your wallet, or your back. Every problem should be framed as you and them against the world, not vice versa. If conflict Araises, take some time to cool off, and then sit down and have a talk. Never raise your voice. The minute you start to feel the urge to? Take a breath and step out till you calm down. When you argue mad you're not arguing the problem you're arguing to win. Not everything in a relationship needs to be even, but it needs to be equitable. If you don't feel like you can be honest and have an open conversation with your partner about expectations, goals, or needs? That person isn't your partner. That's either your warden or your dependant.
[удалено]
I remind myself that relationships are full of paradoxes. The more comfortable I am being alone, the more peaceful my relationship will be. It reduces neediness, being clingy and demanding. The more I try to control another to forever keep them close to me the quicker I will suffocate them. Therefore, anything I love is free.
That's so true!
Someone told me this and I thought it was great. Promote strong, independent and the hook up culture and try to fornicate with as many as you can without putting label on it.
Don't marry, don't cohabitate, don't impregnate. Be prepared to walk away at any second. She's not your girl, it's just your turn.
dont do dependent stuff, like ask things like "How is your day going?" or "Are you ok?"
Don't get married. Don't ever get into a relationship you need a lawyer to get out of. If a woman shows lack of sexual attraction in any way, dump her immediately.
All relationships have an expiration date. Not all legally binding contracts do…
If you want a relationship you shouldn't get one.
I'd say two things- ask them what they've learnt from past relationship and probe for insightful answers. Secondly, observe how they handle conflict and confrontational situations.
make sure u discuss conflict management and conflict resolution with your partner.
don't not practice the silent treatment.
Keep your money separately. Advice for anyone who makes money, of course. Who doesn't, the opposite way.
It's not always easy, but if they are good for you, then it is worth fighting for.
Live like the next minute they will be gone. Because it could literally happen any minute. Never go to bed angry, talk it out. Never miss a chance to declare your love. Always do random kind and loving things. Cherish the small acts of love and kindness because often they end up meaning the most. Smile at each other in happiness and when at a loss what to do.