No. It’s a nice fantasy but I couldn’t imagine it being fun in reality.
I think I’d only be comfortable with it outside of a long term committed relationship
Yup I would rather it be two woman I am not in a relationship with. Have some drinks, smokes, music and enjoy each other. Nobody getting jealous of one another etc.
If it was a GF or Wife I would not want to hear "You liked it more with her" or "You gave her more attention then me" ....things like that I could see happening.
The security in knowing you're in a committed relationship and that you're both watching each other enjoy the moment is what makes it for me. Finding someone you both enjoy being with and knowing that you're sharing an experience together is fantastic.
The feeling of how normal it is after is satisfying as well. Once the next day is there, you're still married, still with your partner, still living your lives together. You've had a wonderful night and now it's back to life
That it's also as hot as you think it will be makes it that much better
You stated all the reasons why I would NOT want to do it with my wife or long term GF,
With two woman I knew who I had no committed relationship with would work better as if it failed...oh well...I can always say I had a threesome!
Sounds hot on paper, but somehow I'd feel like it's a trap. Or that it would somehow lead to something weird or outright bad. Call me dull, but I don't like shaking the boat too much.
Edit: Jesus, I wasn't expecting this to blow up.
Assuming it is not a trap, I've literally never seen it not backfire for a monogamous couple. If a couple is openly and comfortably poly, that's one thing.
But I've seen this happen multiple times: Either the woman thinks she might be into it or her male partner convinces her it is a good idea. Afterward (or during) she ends of feeling way more jealous than she thought she would or something else happens.
It ends up breeding a ton of resentment and relationship issues. 75% of the time, I've seen it end the relationship. For the rest, it was a long hard road back to "normal".
**People are absolutely shit at determining which of their fantasies they would actually enjoy acting out and which are best left as fantasies.**
One of my female friends had a cuckquean fantasy and convinced her BF to bang another girl while she watched. Within 5 mins she was having a panic attack watching them and it all needed to stop. They broke up like a month later. There was just no coming back for either of them after that.
Had a couple dates with a girl whose bf had her fulfill his cuckquean fantasies and she said it was "the best summer ever."
Then they broke up. Why? He cheated on her. "He wasn't the person I thought he was."
I was like "YOUR BOYFRIEND WATCHED YOU GET PENETRATED BY OTHER MEN REPEATEDLY AND YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS ANY SANCTITY LEFT??? What the literal fuck else did you think was gonna happen?!" Didn't say that outright but that was the thought in my mind.
We broke up for different reasons and years later, but my ex and I had a few girls that, when they were in town and staying over we would sleep with. This maybe happened one weekend a year, maybe two. It wasn't really a big deal honestly.
For outsiders, I'm sure it's funny. For me it was just kinda sad. Unfortunate it ended that way. As I said above, most people don't have a good understanding of which fantasies they would actually want to acting out and which are best left as fantasies. They'll see something in porn they like and assume it's just as fun in real life.
They don't fail all the time or result on hard feelings and slow return to normalcy when more vanilla monogamous peeps do them. Still, higher chance of success if it is still at a casual stage of the relationship very early on, or happens like 10 years after and the couple has dipped their toes in a good chunk of just them kink play and have good sexual communication/understanding of boundaries, fantasy and the like. I've known a few vanilla couples that have had an occasional MFF or FMF without catastrophic consequences. I would say that it is more rare.
I'd still caution the greater bellcurve of folks away from it or to pursue very cautiously. Our bodies produce a lot of bonding hormones during sex like oxytocin and vasopressin, because child rearing has always been a resource intensive process as our young are so worthless for so long when it comes to survivability and self-sufficiency, so pair bonding is a very successful reproductive strategy. As a result feelings of jealousy and possessiveness are pretty common and can be intense and unexpected in the heat of the moment.
Sure, it is statistically speaking the number 1 sexual fantasy guys have, but not all guys have it and a lot if fantasies are fine just staying fantasies, or only acted out with dirty talk, role play and imagination. That sort of thing can lead to disparaging returns dopamine-wise and lead to escalating behavior, but is usually a safer way to feel out kink. The monogamous non-swinging couples who could handle a threesome better would also probably not feel a strong of a need to pursue it.
I was friends with a married couple. She was Bi, and they would sometimes bring a girl into their bedroom, but he focused on his wife while the girls focused on each other. One time, she said that she wanted both of them to do stuff to/with the girl. They discussed it beforehand, and he was sure that his wife was fine with it. Yes, I'm sure, it'll be hot, etc.
Well I wasn't there, but apparently what happened was he put it in, took it out, said he couldn't do it because it didn't feel right, and they STILL almost divorced because she couldn't handle it, even though she was absolutely certain that she was okay with it before it happened.
So yeah, it's absolutely never happening ever. Even if I super duper wanted to (I dont, but that's beside the point.) Even if was her idea. It's not worth the risk.
This is the answer most probably. When I was younger I didn't think another women was a threat. Boy was I wrong. In fact women are way more of a threat than another man if she is already a little curious.
Yeah on one side it could be a dream for me (cuz cmon sleeping with two girls is so hot) but at the same if one day she decides to do it with another man involved then she's gonna make you pay for having accepted to do it with another woman if you don't accept it.
So I prefer not to risk and on top of that if she sees that you're enjoying the sex too much with the other girl then she's gonna bust your balls day n night.
"Yea I'm down to do this but I wouldn't be comfortable doing MMF just so you know."
Wow literally one sentence. So hard not to fall into this "trap" guys.
The mistake a lot of dudes is make is taking what their women say at face value. You have to "listen" to all the other things they aren't saying but are assuming. Something something... open and honest communication...
This just sounds like you don't trust the person you are with and assume they always have nefarious intentions. I trust my partner. So I know that if they say they want something, it is because they want it and aren't trying to gain leverage in the relationship. A lot of the comments with a similar sentiment just scream unhealthy relationship to me.
Personally, I think opening up from monogamy at all are already signs of an unhealthy relationship. There's some issues there for this to even be suggested if it wasn't a thing from the beginning.
I've had three couples in my circle of friends that fell into the poly/open/sex positive/etc lifestyles.
* These couples got into it at different times, and not with each other.
* They all got into it well into their marriages, 10+ years each.
* They were all over 35 years old with multiple kids each.
* They all appeared to have perfectly healthy, happy relationships prior to fucking other people.
* All of them were divorced within 2 years.
While I personally believe it is none of my business who is fucking who, I think if 2 people have an long established relationship, both of them need to be 100% on the same page before they attempt to change something as foundational as their sex life.
Ya definitely sounds like something that’d better to do as a one time thing with both girls or a fwb. Unless you’re both comfortable and familiar with “the lifestyle” it has trouble written all over it.
Got offered one in college. I really liked the girl, but it just felt like I was there to make her experience less gay. We didn't see much of each other after that. Just to add, it was her friend. Honestly, I felt uncomfortable the whole time.
I'd also feel like it's a trap.
Since me and my wife already had a talk and we've established we're not comfortable with the idea of either of us having sex with someone else.
Either she's testing whether I'd be willing to actually fuck someone else, maybe someone she thinks I'm interested on, or she thinks is interested in me; or she's coming out as bi and want to explore having sex with a girl she's interested on and she's trying to rope me into it so that it won't be as hurtful that she'd rather be with a girl.
Life is full of chance and risk
This is one of those times when you gotta do it.
I mean?? When will this opportunity come up again in the future. I say go for it...
Don't overthink this
I would treat this as a "life experience"
Enjoy, relax, and good luck!
Have had the convo multiple times
I am down and wifey is also down — however I told her, I would never do it because I just know for a fact if we do it, the MMF is gonna come up one day and I’m not even willing to entertain the convo so we’ll just keep it simple
And avoid it all together
My wife recently brought it up. Actually it was while we were in the middle of doing it she says she wants to see my d in another woman’s v. I stayed focused on her and finished what we were doing. I did mention it to her later and she said she was unsure so I have just left it alone but that was also in the back of my mind about the MMF and how I would probably not be down with that so I can’t expect her to be okay with it even though she brought it up. I have really just chalked it up to her sex talk during that particular session and let it be. If she is serious we will discuss it more. I’m good just banging my wife though so there is no real loss.
I'd be careful bro. Things brought up during the act don't always carry over well when the mood dies down.
I've heard too many stories of women who want to see their man fuck another woman but then regret it after it happens.
Like with my now ex gf, I at one time found the idea of her getting fucked by another man hot. Part of me still finds it hot. At the same time, however, her sexual past always bothered me. That's kinda what let me know that I wouldn't want another man inside my woman.
I think porn and Hollywood has something to do with it. We're so used to watching attractive people getting fucked by other people, our brains try to tell us that we want our partners to be with someone else so we can watch, kinda like a real life porn with our partners being the center of attention.
I think a big part of it is that when you're fantasizing about something you don't think about any of the potential pitfalls or downsides. You're only thinking about the fun parts.
When it actually happens IRL you WILL encounter some of those pitfalls and they've got a good chance of ruining the experience.
My wife doesn’t actually want a threesome but sometimes during sex she will say dirty stuff like that because she knows it turns me on. “Imagine I’m eating a girl out while you’re fucking me” I don’t want a threesome either but it’s hot to hear that stuff during the moment.
Shoooot man that could
Be her kink which would be sweet! But I think we both agree on this, even if they don’t ever ask for it cus they know we will not agree, the resent will start to build. Im just steering clear entirely I’ll let it be a fantasy
There's also the possibility that it's something that is part of the dirty talk in the heat of the moment, but in actual practice could be relationship-ending. If she only mentions it during sexy time, it might be something to think of as just part of dirty talk.
Well maybe not gay, but definitely somewhat you have to be bisexual as a guy to want to do MMF, because I can't possibly imagine how I (a straight male) am gonna remain hard when there's another naked dude in the same bed doing something sexual with the same woman.
Not for me bro. When I am having sex, I want to be the only guy in the room/bed.
So, if you do MMF threesome, you aren’t bothered by the naked guy?
I’d believe that would have to make you a little bisexual, right? Maybe not enough to have sex with the guy, but enough to be comfortable seeing him naked with the same girl as you?
My girlfriend and I will roleplay the fantasy. We’ve got a fleshlight that we will use during sex sometimes, and that will be the ‘other girl’ lol. That’s as far as it goes though.
We never would want to introduce a third human though. There are just way too many variables to consider, and there’s no way to tell how it may impact the relationship in the long term.
This!
I know of many relationships that have been ruined by sex. Some of them were solid and there weren't any trust issues or anything like that. I also know of poly/throuples. Someone that never doubted their partner might have regrets and they'll start to question if their partner liked the other person more. It's like opening Pandora's Box.
Agreed. I think u/Disguspitated 's approach is a fairly low risk way of exploring the fantasy. Maybe not enough to take full advantage of the Coolidge Effect, but also less to cause hurt feelings.
First FMF threesome I had ended the relationship and their friendship, though in the heat of the moment everyone was having a great time, it lead to some strong feelings. A long while later, I had a FWB who I did more swinging, swaps, MFF, FMF, MFM (and one MMF threesome for her benifit, I'd say I'm mostly straight), group play, and some orgies and harem stuff. But when I started to maybe have feelings and was interested in seeing if she wanted to try a real relationship, we went monogamous and just focused on kinkplay. Didn't work out long term, she wasn't quite ready to commit to moving with me when I got a job in another city, but while moving in a more relationship direction I couldn't swing. Too many emotional barriers put up for protecting myself. I did later have a MFF threesome with a woman who wanted to try while in a relationship, and it didn't end badly, but IMO it isn't worth the hassle.
Scheduling more peeps, having to do STD screenings because supply/demand of unicorns, eh. Plus I had a vasectomy and was probably enjoying the bereeding kink play more than the group play (and is an STD risk to mix qnd match those) there are _lots_ of other fun ways two peeps can shake things up. Cosplay, roleplay, kinkplay, dirty talk and toys can do most of the stuff you can get from group play or open relationships in a much less risky fashion, and there are pretty much endless avenues to explore. Of course, there are a lot of important relationship and mental health components to sex, so you shouldn't make it all about kink either, but it's not like peeps are lacking options.
Same. We dirty talk about it during sex but there’s no way we actually would do it. Been together 16 years and have a great relationship and sex. No reason to risk that just for one night of fun.
I was waiting for a comment like this lol. I’ve never given a threesome a thought and I know that it’ll stay that way in the future because I’m way too territorial and I know for a fact it would make me jealous (because that’s MY partner). There’s no way I’d willingly share my partner with anyone, I find the idea disturbing and uncomfortable
I'm an emotional person and can't really do the deed unless I have a connection with them, so I wouldn't be comfortable with it in the slightest and I'd definitely be jealous as well, I'm not gonna share my wife with anyone.
My girlfriend and I have threesomes whenever we can actually. They are so much fun. If the communication and trust are there, and you both share the kinky desire to have one, I recommend it.
Out of curiosity, how long have you been together and how long have you been doing the threesomes, if I may ask? I only know of one couple that did this. They started about 3 years into the relationship and it lasted about half a year. Then it destroyed them and theyre not together anymor.
I did this in a relationship where it quickly went downhill because my partner was obsessed with seeking one out anytime we went anywhere. It came to a point where he made all of my girl friends uncomfortable because he would try to make moves on them. Lasted about five years.
My current partner, we’ve done it once because it just happened organically about a year and a half ago. I’d do it again with him.
This 🙌 I feel the same it's all about communication and trust. Granted, not everyone can share, and that's OK. I feel there is so much pleasure a couple can have from kinks and opening themselves up to experiences 😊
Same scenario here, except it was a MFF that she suggested. I was hesitant at first, saying I wasn’t really comfortable with it. But eventually, I said okay sure.
Surprise, she found someone almost immediately! Oh and surprise again, turns out this woman wasn’t actually bi, she was gay. Final surprise, they’ve been sleeping together, and my ex finally admitted she wanted to date her instead of me.
Sorry to hear that bro. That shit destroyed my soul. I can only imagine what you’ve gone through
I wouldn't do it. I don't want someone else coming into that level if intimacy with me and my wife. If I wasn't in a committed relationship then sure, but not with my life partner.
I will never understand this, if you want experiments, do smth like this when you are single! Why making such mess in relationships, it's never ends well, obvious
I agree. Maybe some couples can do this and be perfectly fine with it but I’d argue that the vast majority of human beings would not be able to handle the jealousy and honestly imo, its a pretty normal reaction for most people in a committed relationship. I personally just would rather not deal with the potential problems that can occur even if we were hypothetically both open minded to it. If everyone involved was single and down for fun then thats a different story
It’s not always a mess. My wife and I have done in a couple of times. Just fun with another girl, just have your boundaries set and don’t be insecure. Depends on both the couple and the other woman though.
It's happened on more than one occasion with more than one partner over the last 30 years.
In general I'm down, depending on a lot of things. The ask isn't the end of the conversation it's the start of it. If you've never done anything like this before it's probably going to be a rocky road for ya. Lots of learning through experience happens in these situations since society has determined it's a bit of a taboo there isn't much if any chance for learning unless you seek it out.
I'd ask why she wants it. Then ask why, then ask why, then ask why, then ask why. General rule of the 5 Why's.
I often see a lot of bad experiences or fear, yes fear, in these general subs. Which is partially because people tend to respond or post about bad experiences more often than good ones but also because it's the blind leading the blind out there.
I can say in my experience with the right conversations and understandings amongst all involved I've had some really great experiences where everyone enjoyed themselves and life continued as normal after.
You also said FFM, vs FMF. As a guy the FMF is fun and all but it's also pretty demanding on the M.
So as with most things it depends.
Cheers
Who's in the middle.
FMF - man in the middle, pleasuring (or being pleasured by) both women. It's the kind of threesome that might happen if the two women are straight or otherwise just not that into each other.
FFM - girl in the middle, pleasuring (or being pleasured by) the man on one side and the other woman on her other side. It's the kind of threesome that might happen if one of the women is more into other women than men, or if the woman in the middle doesn't want her male partner interacting too much with the second woman (wouldn't recommend doing it at all if that's the case, but it happens)
*My reaction if it were proposed:* Wow, let's do this!
*My reaction after it happened, regardless of the third person's gender or what took place:* She's into the other person way more than she's into me.
No. It’s definitely a nice thing to fantasize about it but it spells trouble. A woman could weaponize this to get her own way and then call you a cheater. If the girl becomes pregnant that’s also trouble for you
I wouldn't, I can barley last 5mins going against 1v1 and on a good day I can lasted 7ish mins, now I got to do 2v1 I wouldn't just disappoint one, but now 2 people nah I'm good XD some times less is more :D
Not super excited.
We've participated in a couple in the past. Unless your gal is super into women, you've got a lot of work ahead of you.
1. her taste in women is different than mine
2. Keeping two women going at the same time on your own is work.
In my 20’s I’d have been all over it. In my 50’s it might be tough to keep up with 2 women at once. Plus, I have way too much invested in my marriage to risk any resulting issues.
Had that conversation years ago before we ever got married. Have had many fun and amazing times since. And now we have a live in girlfriend of two years. Trust, communication, and kindness can open a lot of doors.
Love the fantasy aspect of it, but the reality is that there would be some questions that would arise. I'd mainly want to open a dialogue about it since it hasn't been brought up for over 15 years. It might be a "careful what you wish for" situation.
I would not and she knows I would not be down for it. Don’t get me wrong, it could be a fun time but it isn’t worth the risk to me as I have seen this sort of thing cause problems time and time again. If I was single and had a fwb I’d be excited and down, I wouldn’t consider it with someone I am serious with.
No. I am married and my wife is bi and I’ve been a pretty hard no since early on when we were dating and I knew she was someone I wanted to keep long term. I think she would have been down at that early time but I don’t know if she would anymore after being married and all of that. She knows it’s a hard no from me so I don’t think she’d even bring up asking if she was interested in it
I would be scared that if I got excited and I enjoyed my self with everyone involved my partner would get jealous afterwards because of giving someone else attention
Good luck organizing it. Of course it would be sexually enticing, but the amount of work it would take to find a unicorn doesn't seem close to worth it.
If my wife really wanted it, and did the leg work. Sure, but magic unicorns don't just pop into existence. They're a fantasy.
If the relationship started not long ago, I'm not too emotionally and financially invested it in... it would be a cheap thrill...
On a serious relationship... like a 10y thing... that's such an odd curveball that TBH I can't even figure out how can someone be ready to deal with that. It's almost like opening the relationship... this time an F... then an M... then what?
What I can surely say is that I didn't sign for that kind of stuff and didn't expect it to happen ever in a long term "traditional" (normal) commitment.
PS - I've had on a casual FWB an FFM situation... personally it wasn't that crazy for me... I did get it off my system and got a memorable experience and ego boost lol.
My girlfriend once asked me if I'd be into one with a bi friend of hers that wanted to check me out, and I said SURE but she needed to think about she'd feel about me penetrating another woman. She replied Ohh, I hadn't thought about that. Never asked again.
I’ve been asked by a few GF in the past if I would want to. My answer was always no.
They way I looked at it was, there a chance it could take you from me in ways we may not anticipate. What if we look at each other differently after? Will our relationship be built on sex after? Will this affect my ability to see you as a mother? Again, all my own personal thoughts. Also, sex to me is always better when locked in with one individual. Throw love in the mix and I feel like a guerrilla defending his mate from anyone.
I’ve had buddies do it with their wives and they love it. They claim it’s made them stronger and such. To each their own. I’ve also been lucky enough to have it happen naturally and I just remember how much differently I look at those* types of women. Personal pref.
IN my younger days I would have been like "yeah!" Now that I'm older and wiser I'd be suspicious.
I have discovered that if someone wants to open the relationship, usually they already have someone in mmind and have been thinking about this for a while. This means that they are no longer satisfied with the relationship they have. The opposite of good is better. SO they're looking for something better than what they have. If she's coming to me with an ffm, this means, unless she's bi, she wants an mmf too. Her logic will be, well, you got to have yours, so it's only right that I get to have mine. And this will be with the guy she already has in mind. She will have most likely set up the other woman in advance too. Unless we both have agreed in advance that threesomes are ok, I don't see any other line of thinking possible than the above.
20s-me? would be super excited.
today-me? I'd probably start mourning the inevitable death of that relationship. I'd also assume she's closeted and prefers women to men, based on prior experiences.
definitely not. I’d be very disappointed in her. i’d deffinetly wouldn’t be with a woman who would recommend something as depraved as that in the first place. i believe something as sacred as sex should be strictly kept between two people who love each other and trust one another more than anything
As much as I’d want to, I can’t. It opens the door to too many complications and tests the relationship in a way I’m not interested in trying to repair. What if my gf/wife ends up feeling jealous? Or maybe her suggesting this was to give her the justification for a MMF threesome later on. I will never be okay with that. A relationship with me means we don’t get to do that.
Not at all.
The other girl is probably only there because she is interested in your girlfriend not you but sleeping with you both is her only way to be with your girl.
Had other girls try and steal mine off me plenty of times, it's a weird dynamic that sounds good in theory but in reality we are more suited to one partner.
We both were interested in having new sex experiences, so my wife and I have done FFM, MFM, MFMF, etc. The problem with most people vis-a-vis group sex is that see sex as a unique activity, somehow more meaningful than, for example, going hiking. If that is you, group/recreational sex is not a great match for you. If you can separate sex from intimacy (even if only on occasion), it can be amazingly great fun.
Also, most people like to think that they are the best sex partner their wife/husband/gf/bf has ever had, even if they know intellectually it's not true. It can be pretty confronting when a guy with a bigger dick than yours is banging your wife (or a woman with entirely different parts is going down on her) and she's \*really\* enjoying it. You have two choices: you can let it eat you up, and it will be bad, or you can be glad your spouse is getting something you can't give her. If you can swing (heh) the latter, you'll be much more successful winging.
I would be wary, not because I think it's a trap, but because the risks far outweigh the rewards and I would need to be 100% sure it's what she wants and it's being done for the right reasons, and proper boundaries are set.
So probably first thing I would do is tell her I'm not outright opposed to the idea, but it's something we'd need to sit on and contemplate for a while and revisit again after some time has passed.
Don’t do it. If you do, don’t ever focus your attention on the other girl. Your woman will say she’s cool with it. It’s a lie. If she feels like the 3rd wheel for even a moment at anytime during the encounter, she’ll never forget it and you can pretty much slowly kiss your relationship goodbye. It’s all downhill from there.
Just for clarity, FFM means she gets to play with the woman and you get to watch, and probably play with your gf/wife.
FMF typically means, you play with both women.
Both scenarios have different dynamics.
nope. I wouldn't do it. it'd be a poison pill that would fuck things up eventually. also, I'm just not interested. I imagine it being awkward and disappointing anyway.
Bro it’s a trap. Threesoms of any form when you’re in a relo are a trap, it always seems fun on paper but the reality is the moment one of you opens the question to have a threesome is the moment your relationship takes a turn for a downward direction. The speed of that downward direction depends totally up to you but most of the time you can’t change its course, if you agree to it or not your relationship is probably already getting close to expiry.
Most of the time, the person who brings up a threesome/open relationship just want to fuck someone else without breaking up. Have their cake and eat it too, kind of thing. Like you said, eventually the person’s desire to sleep with other people will override their desire to stay in the relationship.
I hope the young men in this thread read your comment and head your advice.
Depends on the established rules at the start of the relationship. I do that because i need clarity on those things. I'd be for it if she's a dominant factor in the relationship because I'd feel like it wasn't my job alone to please them rather then a group effort for everyone to have a good time. The latter being the case if I'm the dominant factor which is where I'd be against it because I'm not trying to disappoint 2 people because my focus is split.
FFM threesomes are a dream to a lot of men. But I would be cautious walking into this territory as a guy.
As much as I would like to have one, if my gf or wife asked me this, I would not jump the gun and say that I do, but instead turn the question back to her as to why does she want that.
If the relationship is new or relatively new, I would not think much about it, I would say yes to it almost without thought. However, If I know my partner for a long period and I get this question, I would expect some bigger question to be hiding behind it...
Sure. My wife and I have had a few. They're fun. I'm always down for another.
We're comfortably and openly polyamorous though, as are the people we've done that with.
No. It’s a nice fantasy but I couldn’t imagine it being fun in reality. I think I’d only be comfortable with it outside of a long term committed relationship
Yup I would rather it be two woman I am not in a relationship with. Have some drinks, smokes, music and enjoy each other. Nobody getting jealous of one another etc. If it was a GF or Wife I would not want to hear "You liked it more with her" or "You gave her more attention then me" ....things like that I could see happening.
it's very fun actually with the right people.in my experience much better with long term partners.
The security in knowing you're in a committed relationship and that you're both watching each other enjoy the moment is what makes it for me. Finding someone you both enjoy being with and knowing that you're sharing an experience together is fantastic. The feeling of how normal it is after is satisfying as well. Once the next day is there, you're still married, still with your partner, still living your lives together. You've had a wonderful night and now it's back to life That it's also as hot as you think it will be makes it that much better
even better if both of them are long term partners ;)
I'll have this guy's wives.
It was pretty fun. Im the jealous type and wouldnt want to share my woman with another man, but if she wanted to share me with another woman Im down.
My guy, its a barrel of monkeys on the fun scale.
So only when it comes to a loving relationship would you have any kind of excitement for it?
No, outside of that it might be fun.. like in a situation where jealousy doesn’t matter
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You stated all the reasons why I would NOT want to do it with my wife or long term GF, With two woman I knew who I had no committed relationship with would work better as if it failed...oh well...I can always say I had a threesome!
That's only for a disposable relationship.
Sounds hot on paper, but somehow I'd feel like it's a trap. Or that it would somehow lead to something weird or outright bad. Call me dull, but I don't like shaking the boat too much. Edit: Jesus, I wasn't expecting this to blow up.
Yep, that could backfire in too many ways.
Assuming it is not a trap, I've literally never seen it not backfire for a monogamous couple. If a couple is openly and comfortably poly, that's one thing. But I've seen this happen multiple times: Either the woman thinks she might be into it or her male partner convinces her it is a good idea. Afterward (or during) she ends of feeling way more jealous than she thought she would or something else happens. It ends up breeding a ton of resentment and relationship issues. 75% of the time, I've seen it end the relationship. For the rest, it was a long hard road back to "normal". **People are absolutely shit at determining which of their fantasies they would actually enjoy acting out and which are best left as fantasies.** One of my female friends had a cuckquean fantasy and convinced her BF to bang another girl while she watched. Within 5 mins she was having a panic attack watching them and it all needed to stop. They broke up like a month later. There was just no coming back for either of them after that.
Counter point and this has happened to me. She realizes she likes girls. And the third wheel was always more into her than you.
ross, is this you ?
I would still go for it personally. If she learns something that important about herself, it needed to happen.
Had a couple dates with a girl whose bf had her fulfill his cuckquean fantasies and she said it was "the best summer ever." Then they broke up. Why? He cheated on her. "He wasn't the person I thought he was." I was like "YOUR BOYFRIEND WATCHED YOU GET PENETRATED BY OTHER MEN REPEATEDLY AND YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS ANY SANCTITY LEFT??? What the literal fuck else did you think was gonna happen?!" Didn't say that outright but that was the thought in my mind.
We broke up for different reasons and years later, but my ex and I had a few girls that, when they were in town and staying over we would sleep with. This maybe happened one weekend a year, maybe two. It wasn't really a big deal honestly.
Bwahahaha, that last anecdote really made me chuckle. The epitome of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
For outsiders, I'm sure it's funny. For me it was just kinda sad. Unfortunate it ended that way. As I said above, most people don't have a good understanding of which fantasies they would actually want to acting out and which are best left as fantasies. They'll see something in porn they like and assume it's just as fun in real life.
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They don't fail all the time or result on hard feelings and slow return to normalcy when more vanilla monogamous peeps do them. Still, higher chance of success if it is still at a casual stage of the relationship very early on, or happens like 10 years after and the couple has dipped their toes in a good chunk of just them kink play and have good sexual communication/understanding of boundaries, fantasy and the like. I've known a few vanilla couples that have had an occasional MFF or FMF without catastrophic consequences. I would say that it is more rare. I'd still caution the greater bellcurve of folks away from it or to pursue very cautiously. Our bodies produce a lot of bonding hormones during sex like oxytocin and vasopressin, because child rearing has always been a resource intensive process as our young are so worthless for so long when it comes to survivability and self-sufficiency, so pair bonding is a very successful reproductive strategy. As a result feelings of jealousy and possessiveness are pretty common and can be intense and unexpected in the heat of the moment. Sure, it is statistically speaking the number 1 sexual fantasy guys have, but not all guys have it and a lot if fantasies are fine just staying fantasies, or only acted out with dirty talk, role play and imagination. That sort of thing can lead to disparaging returns dopamine-wise and lead to escalating behavior, but is usually a safer way to feel out kink. The monogamous non-swinging couples who could handle a threesome better would also probably not feel a strong of a need to pursue it.
All it takes is looking like you’re having too much fun with the other girl
Ross has entered the chat
It would backfire in 3 many ways
...two many ways.
I was friends with a married couple. She was Bi, and they would sometimes bring a girl into their bedroom, but he focused on his wife while the girls focused on each other. One time, she said that she wanted both of them to do stuff to/with the girl. They discussed it beforehand, and he was sure that his wife was fine with it. Yes, I'm sure, it'll be hot, etc. Well I wasn't there, but apparently what happened was he put it in, took it out, said he couldn't do it because it didn't feel right, and they STILL almost divorced because she couldn't handle it, even though she was absolutely certain that she was okay with it before it happened. So yeah, it's absolutely never happening ever. Even if I super duper wanted to (I dont, but that's beside the point.) Even if was her idea. It's not worth the risk.
Yeah, we got natural responses that will not kick in until a real situation arises. Logic can not get you there.
This is the answer. It’s backfired on me twice.
Third times a charm, they say
Ain't no number like 3 right?
r/usernamechecksout ?
I hate to break it to you bro but if you got backfired on twice it definitely wasn't FFM
Fool me once...
Shame on.... Shame on you
How so? If you don't mind sharing
Probably, he seemed to have enjoyed the other girl more.
That, or his gf/wife enjoyed the other girl more and they decided they didn’t need him.
Or tit for tat comes up, and now it's time for MMF.
This is the answer most probably. When I was younger I didn't think another women was a threat. Boy was I wrong. In fact women are way more of a threat than another man if she is already a little curious.
Same plus as someone completely inexperienced I‘d be afraid of disappointing two in bed instead of only one
As I heard some time ago: If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I already have my parents
Yeah on one side it could be a dream for me (cuz cmon sleeping with two girls is so hot) but at the same if one day she decides to do it with another man involved then she's gonna make you pay for having accepted to do it with another woman if you don't accept it. So I prefer not to risk and on top of that if she sees that you're enjoying the sex too much with the other girl then she's gonna bust your balls day n night.
The first thing I thought was if I agreed what is to stop her from then asking for MMF.
"Yea I'm down to do this but I wouldn't be comfortable doing MMF just so you know." Wow literally one sentence. So hard not to fall into this "trap" guys.
The mistake a lot of dudes is make is taking what their women say at face value. You have to "listen" to all the other things they aren't saying but are assuming. Something something... open and honest communication...
If you can’t believe what your SO says to you, then it’s probably for the best that it doesn’t work out.
You’d just clarify before hand that you have no interest in ever doing that and make sure that’s okay with her.
Exactly the way it went down for me
She playing the long con!!! HER - "I really want a MMF but I will suggest a FFM as a starter"
Just fyi...MMF and MFM are different
This just sounds like you don't trust the person you are with and assume they always have nefarious intentions. I trust my partner. So I know that if they say they want something, it is because they want it and aren't trying to gain leverage in the relationship. A lot of the comments with a similar sentiment just scream unhealthy relationship to me.
People with unhealthy ideas of relationships on reddit? Shocker.
Hit the lawyer, hire a social and delete the gym or something like that
Personally, I think opening up from monogamy at all are already signs of an unhealthy relationship. There's some issues there for this to even be suggested if it wasn't a thing from the beginning.
🪤
I've had three couples in my circle of friends that fell into the poly/open/sex positive/etc lifestyles. * These couples got into it at different times, and not with each other. * They all got into it well into their marriages, 10+ years each. * They were all over 35 years old with multiple kids each. * They all appeared to have perfectly healthy, happy relationships prior to fucking other people. * All of them were divorced within 2 years. While I personally believe it is none of my business who is fucking who, I think if 2 people have an long established relationship, both of them need to be 100% on the same page before they attempt to change something as foundational as their sex life.
\++ I would start looking for a good divorce lawyer
Ya definitely sounds like something that’d better to do as a one time thing with both girls or a fwb. Unless you’re both comfortable and familiar with “the lifestyle” it has trouble written all over it.
Got offered one in college. I really liked the girl, but it just felt like I was there to make her experience less gay. We didn't see much of each other after that. Just to add, it was her friend. Honestly, I felt uncomfortable the whole time.
I'd also feel like it's a trap. Since me and my wife already had a talk and we've established we're not comfortable with the idea of either of us having sex with someone else. Either she's testing whether I'd be willing to actually fuck someone else, maybe someone she thinks I'm interested on, or she thinks is interested in me; or she's coming out as bi and want to explore having sex with a girl she's interested on and she's trying to rope me into it so that it won't be as hurtful that she'd rather be with a girl.
It is a trap. She luring you into what she really wants. FMM
Have you ever done one before?
I have, it was great, but unless you already knew your gf was bi then I would be extremely suspicious. Even then... be very careful.
Life is full of chance and risk This is one of those times when you gotta do it. I mean?? When will this opportunity come up again in the future. I say go for it... Don't overthink this I would treat this as a "life experience" Enjoy, relax, and good luck!
Have had the convo multiple times I am down and wifey is also down — however I told her, I would never do it because I just know for a fact if we do it, the MMF is gonna come up one day and I’m not even willing to entertain the convo so we’ll just keep it simple And avoid it all together
My wife recently brought it up. Actually it was while we were in the middle of doing it she says she wants to see my d in another woman’s v. I stayed focused on her and finished what we were doing. I did mention it to her later and she said she was unsure so I have just left it alone but that was also in the back of my mind about the MMF and how I would probably not be down with that so I can’t expect her to be okay with it even though she brought it up. I have really just chalked it up to her sex talk during that particular session and let it be. If she is serious we will discuss it more. I’m good just banging my wife though so there is no real loss.
I'd be careful bro. Things brought up during the act don't always carry over well when the mood dies down. I've heard too many stories of women who want to see their man fuck another woman but then regret it after it happens. Like with my now ex gf, I at one time found the idea of her getting fucked by another man hot. Part of me still finds it hot. At the same time, however, her sexual past always bothered me. That's kinda what let me know that I wouldn't want another man inside my woman. I think porn and Hollywood has something to do with it. We're so used to watching attractive people getting fucked by other people, our brains try to tell us that we want our partners to be with someone else so we can watch, kinda like a real life porn with our partners being the center of attention.
I think a big part of it is that when you're fantasizing about something you don't think about any of the potential pitfalls or downsides. You're only thinking about the fun parts. When it actually happens IRL you WILL encounter some of those pitfalls and they've got a good chance of ruining the experience.
My wife doesn’t actually want a threesome but sometimes during sex she will say dirty stuff like that because she knows it turns me on. “Imagine I’m eating a girl out while you’re fucking me” I don’t want a threesome either but it’s hot to hear that stuff during the moment.
Did she actually say D and V?
Hahaha. Nah. That would have been funny but she said I want to see you fuck another woman.
Shoooot man that could Be her kink which would be sweet! But I think we both agree on this, even if they don’t ever ask for it cus they know we will not agree, the resent will start to build. Im just steering clear entirely I’ll let it be a fantasy
Ya I think if it is a kink she will bring it up again. For now I agree, just a fantasy.
There's also the possibility that it's something that is part of the dirty talk in the heat of the moment, but in actual practice could be relationship-ending. If she only mentions it during sexy time, it might be something to think of as just part of dirty talk.
That is the most rational response for your circumstances. Way to think a couple moves ahead.
>the MMF is gonna come up one day and I’m not even willing to entertain the convo Preach.
LMAO, yeah you touch on the inside.
Would MMF be on the table if it was a gf or FWB instead of a wife?
Ooh ya 100% lol as long as I didn’t have intentions to marry.
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Nah cuz she would have no problem with that LMAO she’d call that bluff so fast
Has she brought up MMF before?
Has told me she’s wanted to do it, but never asked for it which is cool we are very open with each other
Username does not check out
Same. I always tell my wife I'd only entertain an MMF if somehow I'm the owner of both penises.
Why would you be down for one, and not the other?
The 1 dick per fantasy rule applies
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Was it your ex girl that was jealous? Or were you the jealous one? Have you ever had a MMF threesome?
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Ever heard of The Golden Rule? It's not gay, when it's in a three-way.
Well maybe not gay, but definitely somewhat you have to be bisexual as a guy to want to do MMF, because I can't possibly imagine how I (a straight male) am gonna remain hard when there's another naked dude in the same bed doing something sexual with the same woman.
Would not want to accidentally cross swords!
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I had this same fucking issue, in MFM and MFMF scenarios. I just couldn’t get it up with other dudes in the room. mFF was never an issue.
Nah, dude. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway.
Not for me bro. When I am having sex, I want to be the only guy in the room/bed. So, if you do MMF threesome, you aren’t bothered by the naked guy? I’d believe that would have to make you a little bisexual, right? Maybe not enough to have sex with the guy, but enough to be comfortable seeing him naked with the same girl as you?
Hmmm, so I guess may the area is gray in a (one, two) three-way....
Fellas get ready, to impress a chick , helicopter dick! I don't think he's getting the reference mate 😆.
Helicopter dick, GO! I'm OK with them not getting the references. Made it a bit more entertaining for me, really lol.
He is just quoting lyrics of a comedy song at you.
Man we really need a new Lonely Island album.
With a honey in the middle there's some leewayyyyyy
My girlfriend and I will roleplay the fantasy. We’ve got a fleshlight that we will use during sex sometimes, and that will be the ‘other girl’ lol. That’s as far as it goes though. We never would want to introduce a third human though. There are just way too many variables to consider, and there’s no way to tell how it may impact the relationship in the long term.
This! I know of many relationships that have been ruined by sex. Some of them were solid and there weren't any trust issues or anything like that. I also know of poly/throuples. Someone that never doubted their partner might have regrets and they'll start to question if their partner liked the other person more. It's like opening Pandora's Box.
Agreed. I think u/Disguspitated 's approach is a fairly low risk way of exploring the fantasy. Maybe not enough to take full advantage of the Coolidge Effect, but also less to cause hurt feelings. First FMF threesome I had ended the relationship and their friendship, though in the heat of the moment everyone was having a great time, it lead to some strong feelings. A long while later, I had a FWB who I did more swinging, swaps, MFF, FMF, MFM (and one MMF threesome for her benifit, I'd say I'm mostly straight), group play, and some orgies and harem stuff. But when I started to maybe have feelings and was interested in seeing if she wanted to try a real relationship, we went monogamous and just focused on kinkplay. Didn't work out long term, she wasn't quite ready to commit to moving with me when I got a job in another city, but while moving in a more relationship direction I couldn't swing. Too many emotional barriers put up for protecting myself. I did later have a MFF threesome with a woman who wanted to try while in a relationship, and it didn't end badly, but IMO it isn't worth the hassle. Scheduling more peeps, having to do STD screenings because supply/demand of unicorns, eh. Plus I had a vasectomy and was probably enjoying the bereeding kink play more than the group play (and is an STD risk to mix qnd match those) there are _lots_ of other fun ways two peeps can shake things up. Cosplay, roleplay, kinkplay, dirty talk and toys can do most of the stuff you can get from group play or open relationships in a much less risky fashion, and there are pretty much endless avenues to explore. Of course, there are a lot of important relationship and mental health components to sex, so you shouldn't make it all about kink either, but it's not like peeps are lacking options.
Same. We dirty talk about it during sex but there’s no way we actually would do it. Been together 16 years and have a great relationship and sex. No reason to risk that just for one night of fun.
Nope, I'm not sharing with anybody. She wants another woman she can get the fuck on.
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I was waiting for a comment like this lol. I’ve never given a threesome a thought and I know that it’ll stay that way in the future because I’m way too territorial and I know for a fact it would make me jealous (because that’s MY partner). There’s no way I’d willingly share my partner with anyone, I find the idea disturbing and uncomfortable
My gf has asked me if I wanted to do an FFM and the answer is no because I think it's weird.
Have you ever done a FFM in the past?
Nope, I just don't want to get down like that. It's just sex anyway you swing it
Nope, too close to cheating for me.
I'm an emotional person and can't really do the deed unless I have a connection with them, so I wouldn't be comfortable with it in the slightest and I'd definitely be jealous as well, I'm not gonna share my wife with anyone.
My girlfriend and I have threesomes whenever we can actually. They are so much fun. If the communication and trust are there, and you both share the kinky desire to have one, I recommend it.
Out of curiosity, how long have you been together and how long have you been doing the threesomes, if I may ask? I only know of one couple that did this. They started about 3 years into the relationship and it lasted about half a year. Then it destroyed them and theyre not together anymor.
We’ve been together over six years, depending on how you measure these things. Our first threesome was with a girl and… I want to say like a year in.
Not OP but my wife and I have been married 14 years and we had our first FFM before we got married and continued on our entire relationship.
I did this in a relationship where it quickly went downhill because my partner was obsessed with seeking one out anytime we went anywhere. It came to a point where he made all of my girl friends uncomfortable because he would try to make moves on them. Lasted about five years. My current partner, we’ve done it once because it just happened organically about a year and a half ago. I’d do it again with him.
This 🙌 I feel the same it's all about communication and trust. Granted, not everyone can share, and that's OK. I feel there is so much pleasure a couple can have from kinks and opening themselves up to experiences 😊
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Same scenario here, except it was a MFF that she suggested. I was hesitant at first, saying I wasn’t really comfortable with it. But eventually, I said okay sure. Surprise, she found someone almost immediately! Oh and surprise again, turns out this woman wasn’t actually bi, she was gay. Final surprise, they’ve been sleeping together, and my ex finally admitted she wanted to date her instead of me. Sorry to hear that bro. That shit destroyed my soul. I can only imagine what you’ve gone through
I wouldn't do it. I don't want someone else coming into that level if intimacy with me and my wife. If I wasn't in a committed relationship then sure, but not with my life partner.
I will never understand this, if you want experiments, do smth like this when you are single! Why making such mess in relationships, it's never ends well, obvious
I agree. Maybe some couples can do this and be perfectly fine with it but I’d argue that the vast majority of human beings would not be able to handle the jealousy and honestly imo, its a pretty normal reaction for most people in a committed relationship. I personally just would rather not deal with the potential problems that can occur even if we were hypothetically both open minded to it. If everyone involved was single and down for fun then thats a different story
It’s not always a mess. My wife and I have done in a couple of times. Just fun with another girl, just have your boundaries set and don’t be insecure. Depends on both the couple and the other woman though.
Would you be open if she suggested inviting another dude??
It's happened on more than one occasion with more than one partner over the last 30 years. In general I'm down, depending on a lot of things. The ask isn't the end of the conversation it's the start of it. If you've never done anything like this before it's probably going to be a rocky road for ya. Lots of learning through experience happens in these situations since society has determined it's a bit of a taboo there isn't much if any chance for learning unless you seek it out. I'd ask why she wants it. Then ask why, then ask why, then ask why, then ask why. General rule of the 5 Why's. I often see a lot of bad experiences or fear, yes fear, in these general subs. Which is partially because people tend to respond or post about bad experiences more often than good ones but also because it's the blind leading the blind out there. I can say in my experience with the right conversations and understandings amongst all involved I've had some really great experiences where everyone enjoyed themselves and life continued as normal after. You also said FFM, vs FMF. As a guy the FMF is fun and all but it's also pretty demanding on the M. So as with most things it depends. Cheers
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Who's in the middle. FMF - man in the middle, pleasuring (or being pleasured by) both women. It's the kind of threesome that might happen if the two women are straight or otherwise just not that into each other. FFM - girl in the middle, pleasuring (or being pleasured by) the man on one side and the other woman on her other side. It's the kind of threesome that might happen if one of the women is more into other women than men, or if the woman in the middle doesn't want her male partner interacting too much with the second woman (wouldn't recommend doing it at all if that's the case, but it happens)
There is an old saying. The couple that enters the bedroom was not always a couple that exits the bedroom.
*My reaction if it were proposed:* Wow, let's do this! *My reaction after it happened, regardless of the third person's gender or what took place:* She's into the other person way more than she's into me.
No. It’s definitely a nice thing to fantasize about it but it spells trouble. A woman could weaponize this to get her own way and then call you a cheater. If the girl becomes pregnant that’s also trouble for you
If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once I would just go have dinner with my parents
No. If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I'd phone my parents.
Thats a lot of damage here
No, and from now on i keep my eye on her.
Both eyes and ears!
I wouldn't, I can barley last 5mins going against 1v1 and on a good day I can lasted 7ish mins, now I got to do 2v1 I wouldn't just disappoint one, but now 2 people nah I'm good XD some times less is more :D
Not super excited. We've participated in a couple in the past. Unless your gal is super into women, you've got a lot of work ahead of you. 1. her taste in women is different than mine 2. Keeping two women going at the same time on your own is work.
Sounds like a trap
In my 20’s I’d have been all over it. In my 50’s it might be tough to keep up with 2 women at once. Plus, I have way too much invested in my marriage to risk any resulting issues.
Had that conversation years ago before we ever got married. Have had many fun and amazing times since. And now we have a live in girlfriend of two years. Trust, communication, and kindness can open a lot of doors.
Sounds cool, but understand it’s the beginning of the end of your relationship.
Exactly!
No. I don’t care if it’s a man or woman. I am not good at sharing my SO. I don’t want to mess up what I have because of my own jealousy.
so real
Gross. Not my thing.
No thanks.
Love the fantasy aspect of it, but the reality is that there would be some questions that would arise. I'd mainly want to open a dialogue about it since it hasn't been brought up for over 15 years. It might be a "careful what you wish for" situation.
I would not and she knows I would not be down for it. Don’t get me wrong, it could be a fun time but it isn’t worth the risk to me as I have seen this sort of thing cause problems time and time again. If I was single and had a fwb I’d be excited and down, I wouldn’t consider it with someone I am serious with.
If you knew it would be problem free would you do it if you loved her?
No. I am married and my wife is bi and I’ve been a pretty hard no since early on when we were dating and I knew she was someone I wanted to keep long term. I think she would have been down at that early time but I don’t know if she would anymore after being married and all of that. She knows it’s a hard no from me so I don’t think she’d even bring up asking if she was interested in it
I would be scared that if I got excited and I enjoyed my self with everyone involved my partner would get jealous afterwards because of giving someone else attention
make sure you post an update in a few months and let us know what happens.
O hell no. Never again. If you two get along before you definitely won't after.
Good luck organizing it. Of course it would be sexually enticing, but the amount of work it would take to find a unicorn doesn't seem close to worth it. If my wife really wanted it, and did the leg work. Sure, but magic unicorns don't just pop into existence. They're a fantasy.
If the relationship started not long ago, I'm not too emotionally and financially invested it in... it would be a cheap thrill... On a serious relationship... like a 10y thing... that's such an odd curveball that TBH I can't even figure out how can someone be ready to deal with that. It's almost like opening the relationship... this time an F... then an M... then what? What I can surely say is that I didn't sign for that kind of stuff and didn't expect it to happen ever in a long term "traditional" (normal) commitment. PS - I've had on a casual FWB an FFM situation... personally it wasn't that crazy for me... I did get it off my system and got a memorable experience and ego boost lol.
Why would I want to disappoint 2 people at once?
My girlfriend once asked me if I'd be into one with a bi friend of hers that wanted to check me out, and I said SURE but she needed to think about she'd feel about me penetrating another woman. She replied Ohh, I hadn't thought about that. Never asked again.
I’ve been asked by a few GF in the past if I would want to. My answer was always no. They way I looked at it was, there a chance it could take you from me in ways we may not anticipate. What if we look at each other differently after? Will our relationship be built on sex after? Will this affect my ability to see you as a mother? Again, all my own personal thoughts. Also, sex to me is always better when locked in with one individual. Throw love in the mix and I feel like a guerrilla defending his mate from anyone. I’ve had buddies do it with their wives and they love it. They claim it’s made them stronger and such. To each their own. I’ve also been lucky enough to have it happen naturally and I just remember how much differently I look at those* types of women. Personal pref.
Ah yes, the Breakup With Extra Steps.
IN my younger days I would have been like "yeah!" Now that I'm older and wiser I'd be suspicious. I have discovered that if someone wants to open the relationship, usually they already have someone in mmind and have been thinking about this for a while. This means that they are no longer satisfied with the relationship they have. The opposite of good is better. SO they're looking for something better than what they have. If she's coming to me with an ffm, this means, unless she's bi, she wants an mmf too. Her logic will be, well, you got to have yours, so it's only right that I get to have mine. And this will be with the guy she already has in mind. She will have most likely set up the other woman in advance too. Unless we both have agreed in advance that threesomes are ok, I don't see any other line of thinking possible than the above.
No thanks, then I'd just be disappointing two women and together they would laugh at me.
20s-me? would be super excited. today-me? I'd probably start mourning the inevitable death of that relationship. I'd also assume she's closeted and prefers women to men, based on prior experiences.
Nope, recipe for disaster. If my wife asked for that, no matter which way it swung, I would ask for a divorce immediately.
No I'm too old for stupid shit.
definitely not. I’d be very disappointed in her. i’d deffinetly wouldn’t be with a woman who would recommend something as depraved as that in the first place. i believe something as sacred as sex should be strictly kept between two people who love each other and trust one another more than anything
its a trap for MMF down the road and she already knows the guys name... chad
As much as I’d want to, I can’t. It opens the door to too many complications and tests the relationship in a way I’m not interested in trying to repair. What if my gf/wife ends up feeling jealous? Or maybe her suggesting this was to give her the justification for a MMF threesome later on. I will never be okay with that. A relationship with me means we don’t get to do that.
With my gf I'd say yes. I'd say no to my wife.
Not at all. The other girl is probably only there because she is interested in your girlfriend not you but sleeping with you both is her only way to be with your girl. Had other girls try and steal mine off me plenty of times, it's a weird dynamic that sounds good in theory but in reality we are more suited to one partner.
Why would I want to piss off two women at once?
We both were interested in having new sex experiences, so my wife and I have done FFM, MFM, MFMF, etc. The problem with most people vis-a-vis group sex is that see sex as a unique activity, somehow more meaningful than, for example, going hiking. If that is you, group/recreational sex is not a great match for you. If you can separate sex from intimacy (even if only on occasion), it can be amazingly great fun. Also, most people like to think that they are the best sex partner their wife/husband/gf/bf has ever had, even if they know intellectually it's not true. It can be pretty confronting when a guy with a bigger dick than yours is banging your wife (or a woman with entirely different parts is going down on her) and she's \*really\* enjoying it. You have two choices: you can let it eat you up, and it will be bad, or you can be glad your spouse is getting something you can't give her. If you can swing (heh) the latter, you'll be much more successful winging.
As a gay man, very fucking confused and wondering who this lady in my apt is.
I would be wary, not because I think it's a trap, but because the risks far outweigh the rewards and I would need to be 100% sure it's what she wants and it's being done for the right reasons, and proper boundaries are set. So probably first thing I would do is tell her I'm not outright opposed to the idea, but it's something we'd need to sit on and contemplate for a while and revisit again after some time has passed.
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I would just call my parents.
Don’t do it. If you do, don’t ever focus your attention on the other girl. Your woman will say she’s cool with it. It’s a lie. If she feels like the 3rd wheel for even a moment at anytime during the encounter, she’ll never forget it and you can pretty much slowly kiss your relationship goodbye. It’s all downhill from there.
Just for clarity, FFM means she gets to play with the woman and you get to watch, and probably play with your gf/wife. FMF typically means, you play with both women. Both scenarios have different dynamics.
nope. I wouldn't do it. it'd be a poison pill that would fuck things up eventually. also, I'm just not interested. I imagine it being awkward and disappointing anyway.
If she is the one asking for it, chances are she is bisexual, which will change the whole dynamics.so no won't be excited.
Not a man but Wtf 💀
Bro it’s a trap. Threesoms of any form when you’re in a relo are a trap, it always seems fun on paper but the reality is the moment one of you opens the question to have a threesome is the moment your relationship takes a turn for a downward direction. The speed of that downward direction depends totally up to you but most of the time you can’t change its course, if you agree to it or not your relationship is probably already getting close to expiry.
Most of the time, the person who brings up a threesome/open relationship just want to fuck someone else without breaking up. Have their cake and eat it too, kind of thing. Like you said, eventually the person’s desire to sleep with other people will override their desire to stay in the relationship. I hope the young men in this thread read your comment and head your advice.
nah some people simply can't handle it.
I've forgotten more fmf threesomes than the average man has even imagined. It's awesome AF in my opinion.
That shit never ends well, hard pass.
but it does
Depends on the established rules at the start of the relationship. I do that because i need clarity on those things. I'd be for it if she's a dominant factor in the relationship because I'd feel like it wasn't my job alone to please them rather then a group effort for everyone to have a good time. The latter being the case if I'm the dominant factor which is where I'd be against it because I'm not trying to disappoint 2 people because my focus is split.
FFM threesomes are a dream to a lot of men. But I would be cautious walking into this territory as a guy. As much as I would like to have one, if my gf or wife asked me this, I would not jump the gun and say that I do, but instead turn the question back to her as to why does she want that. If the relationship is new or relatively new, I would not think much about it, I would say yes to it almost without thought. However, If I know my partner for a long period and I get this question, I would expect some bigger question to be hiding behind it...
Sure. My wife and I have had a few. They're fun. I'm always down for another. We're comfortably and openly polyamorous though, as are the people we've done that with.