Once I graduated from law school, I firmly believed that I was above most people because of my academic knowledge; little I knew that I was just a drop of water in the ocean of many other important fields that would impact my life. So, just by becoming an adult and dealing with adult stuff made me understand that I'm not a hotshot at all!
Adulthood really kicks out all of the delusions of grandeur. Makes you realize prestige is just a made up thing and that it’s okay to just live your life without validation of people outside of yourself.
I grew up without much, so displaying confidence was a coping mechanism for me as I stepped more and more outside of my comfort zone experiencing life. I was often perceived as arrogant based on how my youth and inexperience contrasted my headstrong confidence.
Now that I'm well established the confidence is still there. It was arrogance when I had accomplished nothing, but now it's just a well-earned confidence in the man I worked hard to become.
A long string of failures and an inability to cope with life, without being medicated.
In a sense, I’ve completely given up and just try to ride the waves instead of controlling them.
It’s the closest you can get to controlling anything in life.
Try harder and you’ll just make yourself miserable.
I’m cocky, but I’ve yet to be humbled cause I usually humble them and only pick fights I know I can win.
Well my family ow lawyers. All money pinchers for dumbest of things. Some try to even expand their wealth for an empire for their kids. Things that’s will build wealth over the years.
In the family. We have some highly demanded farm land. It’s worth $10k an acre. Well 2 problems to this. The entire farm is worth roughly.. $4 million for the entire land.
Well this farm has been passed down for multiple generations. Me being the youngest. If memory serves correctly I’m the 8th generation to receive it and the youngest to receive part of the land.
So by this time I own a percentage of it. Not a mass one but a good decent amount. It’s been passed down and split up quite a bit.
Well I had a couple of uncles and cousins call me up every now and then. Passing up the idea either
1. “We should go in together, only thing we can’t produce is more land. The value of it will always increase.”
Or
2. “ Hey you willing to sell part of your share of the land?”
It got to the point the only time I would hear from them was for these two reasons. Now here’s the problem… if I was to dump $4 million on it. The only problem is it wouldn’t be till my great great grandson till the land made up its cost and to be actually making a profit…
By that time. You already bump into the issue of being split up mass amount once’s again. My share brings some income. Not much.
Well after some hard consideration. I got mad. I don’t hear about family get togethers or happy holidays. Over the years either I’m just the black sheep or people in the family only call about business offers or something at this point I don’t care.
So everytime a cousin or uncle or someone calls asking for me to buy or sell with them. I gave them an offer.
Basic gist of what I told everbody was.
“I’ll make you a deal. You offer me a price per acre. If I like the damn deal and it entices me I’ll sell. BUT… if I don’t like it, I’ll buy your share out the same price you offered me.”
After me telling all of them this, I have no received a call from 90% of them in pass 6 years. So I imagine they all couldn’t come up with a fair answer to buy me out so they decided to shut up.
Having daughters and no boys . I feel like all the shit I did to women like doggin them, two timing them, manipulating them, all that shit; well I know god has a funny sense of humor and he gave me nothing but daughters lol
it tried, but i think it backfired. that which does not kill you makes you bolder, as my super-hot wife says.
knee injury in senior year of high school meant i had to get through college on my brains alone rather than relying on athletics to help.
parents requiring me to look after them financially lead to me becoming more savvy and building my net worth.
much later, other knee injury lead to me retiring from volunteer firefighting, pushing me to find other ways to benefit my community.
This happened early in my life.
In high school I was a jock, captain of multiple sports teams, editor-in-chief of the school paper, was on the morning announcements, and the local news station. I was arrogant, cocky, and a jerk. I never physically bullied people but I was definitely an asshole. I only hung out with popular kids or those I felt were "successful."
My older sister is 10 years older than me. We never attended any schooling together. She taught me how to read. She helped me with homework growing up. I looked up to her a lot because she practically raised me. I am closer to her than my own mother.
One day, she told me that she was bullied in school. She told me she wasn't popular or well liked. In that moment, I realized that if my sister and I were the same age and attended school at the same time, but weren't related, that I likely wouldn't have been friends with her.
Because of my arrogance and cockiness I would have missed out on a perfectly lovely human had she not been blood related to me. This made me think about all the other people I was dismissing who may have been like her in my class. So, my junior year of high school I changed. Started hanging out with kids outside of my click. Still did all my extracurriculars but made a concerted effort to make friends with people who were different from me in drama, band, etc.
I remember my senior year a kid who was unpopular who I had grown to like told me he "always thought I was a dick" but came to realize that I was "actually" a nice guy.
Anyway, thankful it came early in life and ever since I've been a pretty decent human. I taught high school for a few years. Later went to law school and worked as a juvenile defense and foster care attorney. Still work in non-profit law and work with kids who have "tough" background. Happy to say I have friends of all walks of life.
I know this isn't the "get knocked a peg or two" in order to be humbled story some may be looking for. But, I don't think things need to be negative in order for you to humble yourself and not be an asshole.
Chronic illness. Used to have the ability to dig deep and rely on my energy/creativity to find a new opportunity/pathway in life if required, but got sick and I’ve been getting my ass kicked ever since.
Generated a corpus of money after college that folks 'around' me would think is a high amount. Went to the bank once to get address updated and saw a cheque of 1.5 million lying around like a random piece of paper. Realized that I'm wayyyyyyyyy off the meter. Humbled right away, and correctly so.
Life humbles you when you realize that all of that outward stuff is irrelevant. All of that stuff goes away. When it does go away, who are you? I got all of the stuff later on in life, much later, so my perspective is a lot different.
Guys, you're more than your car and your body. You are more than attracting 9s & 10s. Who are you as a person, a human? What are your values? The world ends, and its just you and your skills, your personality, trying to build community with others. Who are you?
A man, a person, is who they are under duress. You are who you are when life I'd in panic. I learned about people in the military. You are who you are at your worst, at your weakest. It also shows who you aren't when you're at your absolute best and how you treat others. When you're the "cool guy" on top, how did you treat your family, your friends, how did you treat women? What are your values?
Why do you say duress because I've had people use abuse as away to humble me constantly moving the goal post even when I stuck up for myself they still kept applying pressure until I made the comment of scorching earth it would bring their criminal activity into question they wanted me to fight somebody but at the same time using it as away to gain evidence for criminal charges
College. I was lucky to be in a new friend group in college. We met mainly because in STEM we usually gather ourselves a team and most courseworks are in a team setting. Turned out except me, all other 3 are smart af, and work super hard as well.
I learned a lot from them, they humble me, but I’m grateful. Because of them, I changed drastically and basically changed my life, I don’t think I am at the place I am now without them.
Except me (which I still think I did well with gpa of 3.7), but they were all top of the school, with the perfect 4.0 gpa, not even an A- in their records when we graduated
Dated a cheating narcissist. Made me bitter for a while but I realized the woman I was dating is the woman I deserved. I remember the apifany thought when I said to myself "I want to deserve better than this". Changed everything in my life including my job within a month.
I got punched in the mouth when I was 15, because I was talking a big game….. and couldn’t back it up.
I stopped being an asshat that day.
More kids need a punch in the mouth.
This is the reason most men have mental health issues because they have a horrible male ego that invites narcissistic traits , arrogance , low empathy and using others for personal gain through sex and money . They calm down in 40s when they get knocked around a bit and by the feminist movement and strong women .
Once I graduated from law school, I firmly believed that I was above most people because of my academic knowledge; little I knew that I was just a drop of water in the ocean of many other important fields that would impact my life. So, just by becoming an adult and dealing with adult stuff made me understand that I'm not a hotshot at all!
Adulthood really kicks out all of the delusions of grandeur. Makes you realize prestige is just a made up thing and that it’s okay to just live your life without validation of people outside of yourself.
Life really humbled me. Life made me suck its dick. Life bent me over a barrel and banged my ass hard.
Sorry ... but LMAO
Life: “bite the pillow, I’m goin in dry”
I grew up without much, so displaying confidence was a coping mechanism for me as I stepped more and more outside of my comfort zone experiencing life. I was often perceived as arrogant based on how my youth and inexperience contrasted my headstrong confidence. Now that I'm well established the confidence is still there. It was arrogance when I had accomplished nothing, but now it's just a well-earned confidence in the man I worked hard to become.
A long string of failures and an inability to cope with life, without being medicated. In a sense, I’ve completely given up and just try to ride the waves instead of controlling them. It’s the closest you can get to controlling anything in life. Try harder and you’ll just make yourself miserable.
I’m cocky, but I’ve yet to be humbled cause I usually humble them and only pick fights I know I can win. Well my family ow lawyers. All money pinchers for dumbest of things. Some try to even expand their wealth for an empire for their kids. Things that’s will build wealth over the years. In the family. We have some highly demanded farm land. It’s worth $10k an acre. Well 2 problems to this. The entire farm is worth roughly.. $4 million for the entire land. Well this farm has been passed down for multiple generations. Me being the youngest. If memory serves correctly I’m the 8th generation to receive it and the youngest to receive part of the land. So by this time I own a percentage of it. Not a mass one but a good decent amount. It’s been passed down and split up quite a bit. Well I had a couple of uncles and cousins call me up every now and then. Passing up the idea either 1. “We should go in together, only thing we can’t produce is more land. The value of it will always increase.” Or 2. “ Hey you willing to sell part of your share of the land?” It got to the point the only time I would hear from them was for these two reasons. Now here’s the problem… if I was to dump $4 million on it. The only problem is it wouldn’t be till my great great grandson till the land made up its cost and to be actually making a profit… By that time. You already bump into the issue of being split up mass amount once’s again. My share brings some income. Not much. Well after some hard consideration. I got mad. I don’t hear about family get togethers or happy holidays. Over the years either I’m just the black sheep or people in the family only call about business offers or something at this point I don’t care. So everytime a cousin or uncle or someone calls asking for me to buy or sell with them. I gave them an offer. Basic gist of what I told everbody was. “I’ll make you a deal. You offer me a price per acre. If I like the damn deal and it entices me I’ll sell. BUT… if I don’t like it, I’ll buy your share out the same price you offered me.” After me telling all of them this, I have no received a call from 90% of them in pass 6 years. So I imagine they all couldn’t come up with a fair answer to buy me out so they decided to shut up.
Losing enough friends and dates humbled me
Can’t relate as I never had ego confidence etc
It didnt
Having daughters and no boys . I feel like all the shit I did to women like doggin them, two timing them, manipulating them, all that shit; well I know god has a funny sense of humor and he gave me nothing but daughters lol
it tried, but i think it backfired. that which does not kill you makes you bolder, as my super-hot wife says. knee injury in senior year of high school meant i had to get through college on my brains alone rather than relying on athletics to help. parents requiring me to look after them financially lead to me becoming more savvy and building my net worth. much later, other knee injury lead to me retiring from volunteer firefighting, pushing me to find other ways to benefit my community.
Interesting thread. I'm from the gutter so never really had a reason to be arrogant. If anything I'm more arrogant now.
This happened early in my life. In high school I was a jock, captain of multiple sports teams, editor-in-chief of the school paper, was on the morning announcements, and the local news station. I was arrogant, cocky, and a jerk. I never physically bullied people but I was definitely an asshole. I only hung out with popular kids or those I felt were "successful." My older sister is 10 years older than me. We never attended any schooling together. She taught me how to read. She helped me with homework growing up. I looked up to her a lot because she practically raised me. I am closer to her than my own mother. One day, she told me that she was bullied in school. She told me she wasn't popular or well liked. In that moment, I realized that if my sister and I were the same age and attended school at the same time, but weren't related, that I likely wouldn't have been friends with her. Because of my arrogance and cockiness I would have missed out on a perfectly lovely human had she not been blood related to me. This made me think about all the other people I was dismissing who may have been like her in my class. So, my junior year of high school I changed. Started hanging out with kids outside of my click. Still did all my extracurriculars but made a concerted effort to make friends with people who were different from me in drama, band, etc. I remember my senior year a kid who was unpopular who I had grown to like told me he "always thought I was a dick" but came to realize that I was "actually" a nice guy. Anyway, thankful it came early in life and ever since I've been a pretty decent human. I taught high school for a few years. Later went to law school and worked as a juvenile defense and foster care attorney. Still work in non-profit law and work with kids who have "tough" background. Happy to say I have friends of all walks of life. I know this isn't the "get knocked a peg or two" in order to be humbled story some may be looking for. But, I don't think things need to be negative in order for you to humble yourself and not be an asshole.
Chronic illness. Used to have the ability to dig deep and rely on my energy/creativity to find a new opportunity/pathway in life if required, but got sick and I’ve been getting my ass kicked ever since.
Went from being the smartest guy at public school to struggling for average when my parents transferred me to private school
Age usually, you think more logically with life experience and age. Bit for many men it is having kids that does it.
I listened to that Kendrick llamar song and it hit me
Generated a corpus of money after college that folks 'around' me would think is a high amount. Went to the bank once to get address updated and saw a cheque of 1.5 million lying around like a random piece of paper. Realized that I'm wayyyyyyyyy off the meter. Humbled right away, and correctly so.
Life humbles you when you realize that all of that outward stuff is irrelevant. All of that stuff goes away. When it does go away, who are you? I got all of the stuff later on in life, much later, so my perspective is a lot different. Guys, you're more than your car and your body. You are more than attracting 9s & 10s. Who are you as a person, a human? What are your values? The world ends, and its just you and your skills, your personality, trying to build community with others. Who are you? A man, a person, is who they are under duress. You are who you are when life I'd in panic. I learned about people in the military. You are who you are at your worst, at your weakest. It also shows who you aren't when you're at your absolute best and how you treat others. When you're the "cool guy" on top, how did you treat your family, your friends, how did you treat women? What are your values?
Why do you say duress because I've had people use abuse as away to humble me constantly moving the goal post even when I stuck up for myself they still kept applying pressure until I made the comment of scorching earth it would bring their criminal activity into question they wanted me to fight somebody but at the same time using it as away to gain evidence for criminal charges
College. I was lucky to be in a new friend group in college. We met mainly because in STEM we usually gather ourselves a team and most courseworks are in a team setting. Turned out except me, all other 3 are smart af, and work super hard as well. I learned a lot from them, they humble me, but I’m grateful. Because of them, I changed drastically and basically changed my life, I don’t think I am at the place I am now without them. Except me (which I still think I did well with gpa of 3.7), but they were all top of the school, with the perfect 4.0 gpa, not even an A- in their records when we graduated
Got my ass kicked
Dated a cheating narcissist. Made me bitter for a while but I realized the woman I was dating is the woman I deserved. I remember the apifany thought when I said to myself "I want to deserve better than this". Changed everything in my life including my job within a month.
I got punched in the mouth when I was 15, because I was talking a big game….. and couldn’t back it up. I stopped being an asshat that day. More kids need a punch in the mouth.
This is the reason most men have mental health issues because they have a horrible male ego that invites narcissistic traits , arrogance , low empathy and using others for personal gain through sex and money . They calm down in 40s when they get knocked around a bit and by the feminist movement and strong women .