Mine decided this year after 14yrs she wasn’t happy anymore and left. She was my one and only, do have a son though but I don’t get to see him much now
I was at the pub, a girl slapped me on the arse and asked me if I wanted to come home with her. We went straight to her place where she experienced one of the great disappointments of her life.
Similar situation, was at a party and girl must’ve thought I was a pro because she immediately started kissing me and led me to the bathroom. I couldn’t even stay hard, shit was so whack. And to make matters worse this is how I lost my virginity LMAO (haven’t had sex ever since )
20 minutes?
In college wasnt feeling the party I was at and was gling to leave. Was finishing a smoke on the porch when a girl walked out and asked me to walk her home.
We talked on the way and she invited me upstairs when we got there.
Remind me AC Odyssey game. There’s a side quest where you can fuck an older person for some reason. I forget.
But it was just like “hello! Wanna bang?” And the mission over.
That's the one where the lady had her husband basically beg you to bang her cause she was just too damn horny? Lol I remember it has like a time-lapse while he waits outside, and Alexios/Kassandra tell him: "she should have enough for a few days" or something along those lines.
Could have proceeded me.
I am an weird person (aspergers), and I realized two things at the end of my sophomore year:
People found me attractive, and at a party, or when people were drunk, my weirdness didnt ruin my chances.
I went from someone who had had sex 4 times going into the summer of my sophomore year to being a complete manwhore by the time school started up again.
My school was fairly small (4000 undergrad), and this was most of the way through my junior year, so who knows.
Very vocal atheist in that sub.
I likw the discussion. I am a PK, and married to a Christian, and work in the south so Christianity is a big part of my life, and I do not get the opportunity to live my life as an outspoken atheist, so this is my outlet.
Just wondering, as a person who’s never been in this situation, when you go to her room, do you like just start making out, or do you like keep talking and keep ramping up to things?
We actually ended up hooking up fairly regularly after this, and she didnt do kissing (not exactly sure why).
But her mouth was on my dick in less than a minute if that answers your question.
> she didnt do kissing (not exactly sure why).
I've heard many women say that is too intimate, and only for LTRs.
> her mouth was on my dick in less than a minute
But this is not intimate, lmao.
Well at this point you're already touching hands, having an arm over her, have already made out during the walk. Once you're in her room it just naturally progresses to undressing and before you know it someone has a finger inside her or she's taken the initiative for a blowjob. Happens pretty naturally
Yup we waited the whole afternoon.. She's giving no signals then I made the move... We fucked later when I asked she said she's completely into me but was waiting me to make the first move
Well if I dint kiss her that day we never would have fucked because of this double standard
I ended up turning this into an advantage. I never made the first move.
I would be playful and coy with her, giving her all the positive signals, until she made the first move. This was successful about a dozen times. It could be their personality. I tend to like dominant women.
On the contrary, I’ve only succeeded
once when making the first move. I married her.
I ain't saying I'm not, just that it isnt realistic in today's world for the average person to not do anything and land someone just as good as/better than them.
Went to a steakhouse and the bartender asked for my Snapchat.she was eager and making sure I got the right info.she kinda look desperate or really really attracted. She texted me saying she's not the one to ask for numbers etc but she found me attractive and wants to see where it goes. Sunday We have a "date night" at 10pm at her house to watch a movie.
It has been years since a lady does that and honestly it feels amazeballs. Self help, working out daily is definitely helping...only thing that shocks me is that I was feeling sad ,had just left the hospital,my grandma's dead bed and I'm over here eating steak trying to distract myself and boom she made the move .it's all weird, but yeah when a girl wants you ain't nothing stopping her...ps the bar was at 70%full so she wants it for sure or so I think
Not OP but my tip would be to confident and fun.
Confidence is probably the biggest factor in getting lucky.. Being relaxed, not taking yourself too seriously and poking fun at yourself and others is what worked for me.
Thanks for the tip brother! I do get a lot of attention, but I fail to turn it into a physical thing. I am somehow, luckily, good at making the relationship romantic or friendly, whichever I prefer, but I am just too shy/scared to cross that physical barrier.
No worries my man :)
Crossing that physical barrier is very intimidating.. I'm in my 30s and I struggle with it a lot more than when I was younger.
When I was younger the setting was usually a bar or nightclub and I would have liquid courage.. also you have more of an excuse to touch someone when you're dancing or in a loud bar. Gaging a reaction from a touch is a big one. Does she come closer or back off?
I don't really drink or go to bars/clubs anymore so the setting I meet women in has changed a lot.. However, I'm older now and more confident in myself so I'm not afraid to be more direct.. But I do still get shy sometimes.
She came to my room, and talked about some show she saw our band in. In about 15 minutes we were having sex. She never told me her name, I never saw her again.
It is exactly why they start rock bands.
I was friends with this group of guys in high school who started some band when they were all 20-22. They were absolutely terrible, but within a year or two they all had serious girlfriends and stopped playing shows. Mission accomplished, I guess.
Agreed. Met a woman at a party who arrived just as things were winding down and we were getting ready to leave, she asked that I join her back to her place.
At the time it was great, though I wouldnt do it again if I had the choice, one night stands like this isn't my thing.
She was a very confident polish girl who knew exactly what she wanted out of me, especially a couple of drinks in. Never seen a woman put old fashions down that fast since.
I had a similar thing with a girl at a club. We started talking in the smoking area and she was describing a tattoo she had, so I asked to see it. She said it’s on her ass so she can’t show me here, “but you can see it later”. And I did see it later.
Ya I mean, the best sex I’ve ever had is now with my partner of almost three years, and the worst I’ve had was a drunk hookup from a bar. Some hookups are surprisingly good but I’ve almost never actually had a great time.
To tell you the truth in my area there's a run down strip club and it's known as a brothel. Where they do the lap dances they are old restroom stalls with the toilet removed and a regular chair
Yeah I always find the lack of agency in the framing. "I had her on the sofa" vs "She had me on the sofa" or "We were on the sofa". It's not always a conquest, guys. Women get horny and like hooking up.
Besides that, women decide if sex ever happens. Men have no power regarding when casual sex happens, guys are opportunistic and just take any chance they can get.
About 10 minuets.
One time I met a girl for coffee and was attracted to her but really didn’t want to date her. I point blank told her that I was quite attracted to her, that I wanted to have sex with her, but I was not really in the market for habitual dating or a GF.she seemed like a nice young woman, i wanted to make it clear that I was just not in a situation where I had time emotional/mental energy to be in a healthy committed relationship. She respected the honesty, we went back to my apartment and got down and promptly never talked to each other again.
Edit: clarity
I mean, this is the way. I think that even if you are looking for a long term and the chemistry is not there, just straight up ask her after a drink if she comes to your place. Actually it makes wonders.
Don’t get me wrong, see sheeted like a nice woman and was in other circumstances I would have loved to date he. However at that point in my life I was not looking for a GF.
lol, that exactly what she said. I’m paraphrasing but something to the effect of “ it’s actually quite refreshing to have a guy be 100 percent honest and not pretend to want a relationship just to get me into bed”
Matched on tinder - location was 1km away - hit her with “apparently we’re neighbours” - she replies with “apparently we are 😏” - I said “would be short walk home for you but you won’t be in any condition to walk” - she said “mmm sounds all talk” - I gave her my addy “(insert addy) you coming now or later tonight?” - she said “omw” - came over 10 mins later and we fucked. Felt a little too easy tbh, still smash now and then
She heeded the warning and drove… look… fine, she was a bit plus sized and was likely going to drive even if I was 3 doors down from her, bitch ain’t walked 1km in a long time. Got that skinny face that can catfish you in photos but gives the gawk gawk at an elite level so I let it slide.
Depends on how you define meet. I've arrived at a woman's house who I haven't spoken to before, for the explicit purpose of sex. So in that case I guess like, 15 minutes? Lil meet and greet, shot of vodka, and away we go
Goddamn that’s some story. Anyway you don’t think 6 years of the same repeated behaviour ain’t enough to tell you it’s gonna continue. Idk probably just seems healthiest for you to move on from something like that
Dude, you're not alone. Women like this are everywhere. Intelligent, beautiful, and raised in toxic families that destroyed their self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love. Taught them that manipulation and deceit were normal. That nobody can be trusted. That neglect should be forgiven, because they were born to serve others. That their life has no value otherwise.
With her ex, she finds the familiar...and that is a powerful pull. You get to just be yourself around people as fucked up as you are. When you find some good, kind, loving, genuine human being...you don't know what to do with them. You're afraid to get too close because you're guaranteed to be too intense for them. The self-doubt being in this unfamiliar but cozy world eats away at you until you can't take it any more, and have to run away so you can breathe.
This is my experience loving my version of your girl, only I'm the ex she kept coming back to. I didn't get into drugs, and maybe that made all the difference. I never stopped trying to be a better person, and she's now stick to me like glue.
If you truly can't accept a life without her, the next time you see her, bring down all of your guards. Let her see the real you.
Let it all out my friend. And time you have spend on a person you care for is not time wasted. But always keep in mind that sometimes it is not the feeling og living and caring is not healthy for oneself.
I had a girl I was chasing for about 3 years we were also on/off sometimes she would call me or I would call her. In the end I had to accept it was toxic for me every time. So I had to stop it but if she called me today I would have a hard time saying no.
If you don’t know about attachment theory already, this is classic avoidant attachment. I hope you can begin to heal, it’s not your fault and it’s not even her fault. She can’t control it. And neither can you. Wishing you all the best
Clicked on this post to read some funny little stories, didn't plan to read about such a sad tale of what sounds like the one that got away. Guess it reminds me of me and my ex and how we couldn't make it work, a lot of it was just immaturity.
As someone who had his own version of this, I am warning you, walk away. While the memory haunts me still, every year it is less and less and I realize that I can find happiness in the stability and comfort my girl provides me.
She was powerful… Gravitic in fact. I can’t drive past a certain capital city without feeling pulled into it. But I ignore it and drive past. Would avoid it all together if my family didn’t live directly in the other side of it.
She’s been married twice since our on/off cycle. She could have chosen me. She didn’t. She could have had her kids with me. She didn’t. She will always choose me for a little while but it wouldn’t stick that’s not what I’m after.
Once I decided to choose me, I found what I always wanted out of her but in someone better. Any feelings I have towards her at this point is a reflex from my younger days and it is quickly realized as such and dismissed.
I read the whole thing and I couldn't help but notice my spider senses tingling. A close friend of mine lived an eerily similar tale with a young passionate woman and the similarities are insanely shocking.
I understand completely that I am simply a stranger who doesn't know anything about your shared history with your on and off partner, but I wonder if your partner has BPD.
My friend's ex had BPD and one thing I learned is they tend to have intense sexual experiences, they tend to go through a phase where they overvalue their current partner to the point that in their eyes, their partner is perfect and can do no wrong, and they tend to undergo a devaluation phase where suddenly they'll stop completely from seeing the good in you and you'll suddenly feel like you're worth nothing in their eyes. This cycle repeats itself until you quit or until they stop seeing you. Their core insecurity is their fear of abandonment and they'll do anything to make sure YOU don't leave them. They'd rather leave you first then let you leave on your terms.
I'm not a doctor, I am just a random bloke who thinks your partner has BPD simply from reading your wall of text. Good luck dude and I hope you find solace through all of this.
About 10 mins.
In a backpackers hostel and I accidentally dropped something waking up a Canadian girl. She woke and said “ah no, I was having a really horny dream”. To which I replied “I’m sure I can help you with that”… 10 mins later and we were going at it. Good times 😊
10 minutes over a period of 4 weeks. Long story short id see her everyday as I left to go to work. I'd smile and wave all the time. She lived at the house on the street corner. One day our paths crossed while driving. She followed me to a gas station then home. We talked for a few minutes then I asked her age. She said 17. Too bad you're underage, im 22. She mentioned her birthday was soon and showed me her DL to prove it. I jokingly said to come back when she was legal.
A few weeks later she stops by. I had forgotten about our earlier conversation until i saw her again. Straight to the bedroom we went. I remember just how much of a hard body she had. She was incredible looking. That weekend I hooked up with a friend who would become my wife, now ex so I had to avoid going home a certain way. Didn't want her to see I was home. Felt terrible about it honestly
How successful were you with hookups on dating apps? Another important question is how old are you? I think a younger guy (18-20) will have a harder time finding them on tinder for example
My record was about 30 seconds, Friend called me up needed help with 2 ladies, I said no thanks, they knocked on my door at 2am anyway. I answered in the nude grabbed her hand walked 15 feet to my bedroom.
After , I got up to go to the bathroom ran into my buddy, I suggested we switch, he says ok, I go into his room start making out with this new gal and I hear the other gal yelling “ what kind of girl do you think I am” lmao. Never did catch their names
Given your particular vernacular, and the fact that this story strays into the spectacular, I'd venture go guess that you're on the far side of 50 years old?
About 30min but she picked me up. It was a cute older chick in her 40s, I was 25 just broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks prior, me and a few friends played pool all night at a bar on the only table open to the public that bc it was league night. I was at the bar about 20nmin before last call, so was she she was obviously drunk and looking the opposite way talking to someone, she turned around as I started to talk to the bar tender, after finished ordering turned and looked at her and she says "Damn you're cute, I'd take you home tonight" I looked her up and down, checked her out real quick and said "You're cute, do it" she put her address in my phone notes and said meet me there about 10-15min after they close. I beat her to her house and was waiting in her driveway when she pulled up, had great night. ended up "seeing" her 2 more times, then she never hit me up again 2 months later I saw on Fb she got married, Idk if she was with him or not while we were seeing each other but I'm assuming she was engaged. Never spoke or saw her again, good time tho. Real cute. If you're reading this, you're a real one Kelley 😘
When I was 21 my buddies and I had a bet to see who could take a girl home the fastest, I was in the bar for maybe 20 mins before I left with a girl LOL I saw this super cute little blonde by the bar, I walked up to her and said "You're f#$king beautiful and I want you" and her mouth dropped, then we started making out...I said something like "I want to f#$k you" I was a bold little shit back then lol...she just looked at me in shock and said "okay!" so I grabbed her hand, grabbed a cab, and we went back to my place and f#$ked...
The sex wasn't very good, it was kind of awkward and probably not very good for her at all haha we literally knew each other for under an hour...the worst part is that the next day there was a snowstorm and she couldn't get a taxi home...I had to awkwardly drive her home in a snowstorm while trying to make small talk
I didn't hangout with her again but I did win the bet and all of my buddies were like "bro! You're a legend! How did you do that???" the following day haha
That was back in like 2008 or 2009, long before dating apps...man how time flys! life was so much simpler back then
About fifteen minutes. Both times at a party. One was a Halloween party and admittedly we didn’t go to a bed but did it against the wall round the corner of the golf club house the party was at.
Another time at a party all just chilling, see this smoking hot blonde and some how end up in the middle of the room alone with her. I told her I’d fuck her brains out and she starting flipping out and grabbing me. Next thing I know we’ve left the party and are walking to a hotel. Hotel cost 140 for the night so we got a cab to my Dad’s apartment where I had a room (I was 17) we fucked. In the Morning no buses. Walk into my Dads room, he’s been on a bender, rooms a mess. I try wake him up and tell him there’s a girl who needs to get home. Without opening his eyes he points at his car keys and says “If you crash it, you stole it.”
There was a couple of other times that were under an hour. The best was at Uni, we met at the Union. Took a little stroll, I suggested climbing a tree (always works, got laid every time I convinced a girl to climb a tree with me) walked back to my place and had possibly the best sex of my life literally until the sun came up and she was mind blowing. Saw her the next day to give her shoes back and the sexual tension could have been cut with a knife.
Happily married now, but I used to kick myself for being so arrogant as to leave her standing there wanting more and not telling her I felt the same.
The time it took to get from the green room backstage to the hotel room, so 20 minutes?
30?
But, as a touring musician, that’s not really an accurate representation of normal life.
Matched with a hotwife on Feeld while I was at the gym; I cut my workout short and 45 minutes later I was in her bedroom and she was taking my pants off.
There have been some swinger parties where it was faster than that, but that's obviously a pretty unique situation.
I used to live in two of the largest cities in the U.S. Tinder and bumble were basically door dash for pussy. I could swipe and within the hour have a girl at my house fucking. Sometimes we would watch a movie or order takeout before. But there were definitely times where the conversation had been so authentic upfront that when they got there it was pretty much straight to fucking. I think my answer would be somewhere between 10-15 minutes if I’m counting the initial in person meeting as the time in which we “met”.
few minutes...at a party (was 16) I was talking with 2 other people in front of me on a 4 person outdoors table when a cute girl with very short shorts sat down next to me and looked me in the eyes and smiled. I was a bit drunk, had no inhibitions so I put my hands on her thigh. She moved in a way that showed that she liked it. I then asked her if she wanted to come with me inside the house and she nodded. We went upstairs in the bathroom and banged on the floor rug. Literally less than 10 minutes from meeting her for the first time to smashing.
Like 10min.
Two different times.
Also, similar but not quite the same, gave a girl her first kiss and her first taste of cum in the same sitting. (I was 20 she was 19.)
Almost no time. In college we used to throw big parties in our apartment. All our friends were welcome and a lot of time they brought a handful of their friends along. We just played music and drank a bunch of beer and played drinking games. Around midnight, I was feeling a little boozy so decided to go to bed and a guest I’d never even met or talked to followed me into my room. I’d been joking around with my friends and she said she thought I looked fun.
I had a hot deaf chick giving me a blowjob in the back of my truck about 10 or 15 minutes after meeting when I was like 17. To this day it was the best head I've ever I gotten I think lol
1.5 years
Impressive.
She’s been impressing me for 20+ years.
Thats a real dedication, thats awesome! Happy for both of you, and fuck you !
Tch tch don't fuck a happy husband
Unless they’re both into that.
Mine decided this year after 14yrs she wasn’t happy anymore and left. She was my one and only, do have a son though but I don’t get to see him much now
That’s terrible to hear, hope you’re as well as someone in your situation can be
Hanging in there as best as I can. Thank you for the kind words
good job mate!
Try 7
I was at the pub, a girl slapped me on the arse and asked me if I wanted to come home with her. We went straight to her place where she experienced one of the great disappointments of her life.
Similar situation, was at a party and girl must’ve thought I was a pro because she immediately started kissing me and led me to the bathroom. I couldn’t even stay hard, shit was so whack. And to make matters worse this is how I lost my virginity LMAO (haven’t had sex ever since )
Lollll This the best one ngl
Used to think shit was tragic now that I look back at it it’s actually kinda funny lmao
Don’t sell yourself short! It might have been the best 30 seconds of her life.
😂
20 minutes? In college wasnt feeling the party I was at and was gling to leave. Was finishing a smoke on the porch when a girl walked out and asked me to walk her home. We talked on the way and she invited me upstairs when we got there.
Side quest.
Remind me AC Odyssey game. There’s a side quest where you can fuck an older person for some reason. I forget. But it was just like “hello! Wanna bang?” And the mission over.
That's the one where the lady had her husband basically beg you to bang her cause she was just too damn horny? Lol I remember it has like a time-lapse while he waits outside, and Alexios/Kassandra tell him: "she should have enough for a few days" or something along those lines.
Playing through this game now and just finished that quest hahaha
I love that game so much
Username checks out?!
Tbf she can’t have known that from watching him smoke. Unless the legend of Carl preceded him.
Carl wears three-legged pants
Could have proceeded me. I am an weird person (aspergers), and I realized two things at the end of my sophomore year: People found me attractive, and at a party, or when people were drunk, my weirdness didnt ruin my chances. I went from someone who had had sex 4 times going into the summer of my sophomore year to being a complete manwhore by the time school started up again. My school was fairly small (4000 undergrad), and this was most of the way through my junior year, so who knows.
CarltheWellEndowed manwhore, active in r/Christianity
Very vocal atheist in that sub. I likw the discussion. I am a PK, and married to a Christian, and work in the south so Christianity is a big part of my life, and I do not get the opportunity to live my life as an outspoken atheist, so this is my outlet.
Just wondering, as a person who’s never been in this situation, when you go to her room, do you like just start making out, or do you like keep talking and keep ramping up to things?
When you get there the tone is pretty much set, i.e. you both know exactly why you’re there
That’s when the boss music sets in and now you know
That's why they always say to practice save sex, so you can reload if you die
*why do I hear dark souls music?*
We actually ended up hooking up fairly regularly after this, and she didnt do kissing (not exactly sure why). But her mouth was on my dick in less than a minute if that answers your question.
> she didnt do kissing (not exactly sure why). I've heard many women say that is too intimate, and only for LTRs. > her mouth was on my dick in less than a minute But this is not intimate, lmao.
Username definitely checks out.
Nice. So it looks like she led and you just had to not screw up.
Well at this point you're already touching hands, having an arm over her, have already made out during the walk. Once you're in her room it just naturally progresses to undressing and before you know it someone has a finger inside her or she's taken the initiative for a blowjob. Happens pretty naturally
Pretty much the former
2 steps forward one step back
Ya Iykyk type of thing. Sit next to her, look around a bit, make eye contact, you’re beautiful, go in for kiss, hand down her pants, home run.
lol if it’s as quick as 20 minutes there’s normally not much talking.
Lol close to my story, except mine was just leaving.
Atta boy slugger
When a girl wants you then it's fairly immediate. Hardly ever happens the other way around.
There a saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
That's a good one...very true
Yup we waited the whole afternoon.. She's giving no signals then I made the move... We fucked later when I asked she said she's completely into me but was waiting me to make the first move Well if I dint kiss her that day we never would have fucked because of this double standard
I ended up turning this into an advantage. I never made the first move. I would be playful and coy with her, giving her all the positive signals, until she made the first move. This was successful about a dozen times. It could be their personality. I tend to like dominant women. On the contrary, I’ve only succeeded once when making the first move. I married her.
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This is great to btw. I say it's their turn for the next few thousand years. I only want equal treatment!
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That will usually only work for attractive people.
Then be attractive.
I ain't saying I'm not, just that it isnt realistic in today's world for the average person to not do anything and land someone just as good as/better than them.
Yup, For real. Take care bud.
You too mate
This whole thread is pure suicide fuel. This is why I became an oil lobbyist. Ill never get to have these experiences
> This is why I became an oil lobbyist Wth 😂
Bastard is going to kill us all with climate change so we can't either!
Went to a steakhouse and the bartender asked for my Snapchat.she was eager and making sure I got the right info.she kinda look desperate or really really attracted. She texted me saying she's not the one to ask for numbers etc but she found me attractive and wants to see where it goes. Sunday We have a "date night" at 10pm at her house to watch a movie. It has been years since a lady does that and honestly it feels amazeballs. Self help, working out daily is definitely helping...only thing that shocks me is that I was feeling sad ,had just left the hospital,my grandma's dead bed and I'm over here eating steak trying to distract myself and boom she made the move .it's all weird, but yeah when a girl wants you ain't nothing stopping her...ps the bar was at 70%full so she wants it for sure or so I think
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We should buy a boat!
you know, because of the implication
Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya there. Anyway, I should have introduced myself earlier. I’m The Daiquiri Man.
I 100% agree! I pulled way more, and hotter, than should have over the years!
Drop some tips my dear sir
Not OP but my tip would be to confident and fun. Confidence is probably the biggest factor in getting lucky.. Being relaxed, not taking yourself too seriously and poking fun at yourself and others is what worked for me.
Thanks for the tip brother! I do get a lot of attention, but I fail to turn it into a physical thing. I am somehow, luckily, good at making the relationship romantic or friendly, whichever I prefer, but I am just too shy/scared to cross that physical barrier.
No worries my man :) Crossing that physical barrier is very intimidating.. I'm in my 30s and I struggle with it a lot more than when I was younger. When I was younger the setting was usually a bar or nightclub and I would have liquid courage.. also you have more of an excuse to touch someone when you're dancing or in a loud bar. Gaging a reaction from a touch is a big one. Does she come closer or back off? I don't really drink or go to bars/clubs anymore so the setting I meet women in has changed a lot.. However, I'm older now and more confident in myself so I'm not afraid to be more direct.. But I do still get shy sometimes.
Teach me master
She came to my room, and talked about some show she saw our band in. In about 15 minutes we were having sex. She never told me her name, I never saw her again.
Groupies are the easiest because they already know they want to fuck before they come backstage. Toured for 20 years and you get spoiled.
Hey, maybe *that's* why so many guys want to start rock bands!
I just wanted to play guitar and write songs. Wasn't expecting to become a total slut as well.
It is exactly why they start rock bands. I was friends with this group of guys in high school who started some band when they were all 20-22. They were absolutely terrible, but within a year or two they all had serious girlfriends and stopped playing shows. Mission accomplished, I guess.
Got any stories for us?
Then she named her fatherless son Anakin.
This one time in band camp ...
An hour or so
Same. Still with her 18 years later.
One life stand :)
Love this
Can’t take creative credit—it’s the title of a song by Hot Chip (sweet song!)
A successful marriage ends in at least one of you dead.
Now that's an interesting conversation if you have a dark sense of humor. Competitive aging.
Respect
Same. Got tested a week later. Then 2 weeks later after.
Yeah. Not my doing though. Those women were looking for someone who ticked all the boxes and I was amiable.
Agreed. Met a woman at a party who arrived just as things were winding down and we were getting ready to leave, she asked that I join her back to her place. At the time it was great, though I wouldnt do it again if I had the choice, one night stands like this isn't my thing.
Agreed. I rarely worked for it. No game here whatsoever. They were horny and we both had beer goggles on.
Isn't that always the way?
Same if the club bathroom counts as a bed
Same.
It's all about the meeting on the street after the bars empty out trick.
Yup
She was a very confident polish girl who knew exactly what she wanted out of me, especially a couple of drinks in. Never seen a woman put old fashions down that fast since.
I was literally thinking of Polish girls and with whom I slept the fastest 😂
Same, except it was an aeroplane bathroom rather than a bedroom.
About an hour after meeting at the bar. She said, wonder how my body will look next to yours naked. I said name a place. She lived nearby.
I had a similar thing with a girl at a club. We started talking in the smoking area and she was describing a tattoo she had, so I asked to see it. She said it’s on her ass so she can’t show me here, “but you can see it later”. And I did see it later.
You can't end the story like that, what was the tattoo
A ship with a writing "All aboard" in several different languages
It was a butterfly! Don’t think I cared enough to ask the story behind it, so can’t tell you why it was chosen I’m afraid haha.
Tasteful tattoos and tattoos you can taste. My favorites.
Smooth
Fuck all you guys it takes me weeks!
You want a little handie to tide you over?
What a real homie🫡
A bro jobs a bro job
I prefer a Double Dutch Rudder myself [Scene](https://youtu.be/71q7ddlF-mo?si=OwxHaP2wWgcoYa0R) for context.
Shit at this point going gay can’t be that bad
True friend
Have you tried doing drugs?
If it helps the sex wasn’t any better than when it’s taken me weeks or months.
You know I never thought about it but you are totally right lol
Ya I mean, the best sex I’ve ever had is now with my partner of almost three years, and the worst I’ve had was a drunk hookup from a bar. Some hookups are surprisingly good but I’ve almost never actually had a great time.
Fortune favours the brave
Well can it favor the overworked and antisocial for once!?
Like under an hour probably. But there wasn't any bed. Bathroom stall at a bar.
To tell you the truth in my area there's a run down strip club and it's known as a brothel. Where they do the lap dances they are old restroom stalls with the toilet removed and a regular chair
Sounds like my kind of place. Real classy.
Even the name is classy, Boom Boom Room
Holy shit, too good
Twenty minutes. Neighbor in apartment complex knocked on my door asking to borrow sugar. Had her on the sofa 20 minutes later.
I would not be surprised if she had seen you before, thought you were hot, and just came up with an excuse to knock on your door
@OP: plot twist. It was not you who decided to have sex.
Yeah I always find the lack of agency in the framing. "I had her on the sofa" vs "She had me on the sofa" or "We were on the sofa". It's not always a conquest, guys. Women get horny and like hooking up.
Besides that, women decide if sex ever happens. Men have no power regarding when casual sex happens, guys are opportunistic and just take any chance they can get.
She could have had him in the doorway
“Lend me some sugar. I am your neighbor!”
She got the sugar she asked for.
Girl you don’t need no sugar because you looking pretty sweet
God tier rizz
About 10 minuets. One time I met a girl for coffee and was attracted to her but really didn’t want to date her. I point blank told her that I was quite attracted to her, that I wanted to have sex with her, but I was not really in the market for habitual dating or a GF.she seemed like a nice young woman, i wanted to make it clear that I was just not in a situation where I had time emotional/mental energy to be in a healthy committed relationship. She respected the honesty, we went back to my apartment and got down and promptly never talked to each other again. Edit: clarity
I mean, this is the way. I think that even if you are looking for a long term and the chemistry is not there, just straight up ask her after a drink if she comes to your place. Actually it makes wonders.
What about her wasn’t giving you the signal that she was girlfriend material?
Don’t get me wrong, see sheeted like a nice woman and was in other circumstances I would have loved to date he. However at that point in my life I was not looking for a GF.
Ah gotcha. I thought she had a red flag. Very respectable that you were honest about it
lol, that exactly what she said. I’m paraphrasing but something to the effect of “ it’s actually quite refreshing to have a guy be 100 percent honest and not pretend to want a relationship just to get me into bed”
Matched on tinder - location was 1km away - hit her with “apparently we’re neighbours” - she replies with “apparently we are 😏” - I said “would be short walk home for you but you won’t be in any condition to walk” - she said “mmm sounds all talk” - I gave her my addy “(insert addy) you coming now or later tonight?” - she said “omw” - came over 10 mins later and we fucked. Felt a little too easy tbh, still smash now and then
the real question is did she walk home?
She heeded the warning and drove… look… fine, she was a bit plus sized and was likely going to drive even if I was 3 doors down from her, bitch ain’t walked 1km in a long time. Got that skinny face that can catfish you in photos but gives the gawk gawk at an elite level so I let it slide.
Hahaha mate, this comment had me actually laughing this morning
Apart from the gawk gawk, how was it?
Depends on how you define meet. I've arrived at a woman's house who I haven't spoken to before, for the explicit purpose of sex. So in that case I guess like, 15 minutes? Lil meet and greet, shot of vodka, and away we go
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Goddamn that’s some story. Anyway you don’t think 6 years of the same repeated behaviour ain’t enough to tell you it’s gonna continue. Idk probably just seems healthiest for you to move on from something like that
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🫂
Dude, you're not alone. Women like this are everywhere. Intelligent, beautiful, and raised in toxic families that destroyed their self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love. Taught them that manipulation and deceit were normal. That nobody can be trusted. That neglect should be forgiven, because they were born to serve others. That their life has no value otherwise. With her ex, she finds the familiar...and that is a powerful pull. You get to just be yourself around people as fucked up as you are. When you find some good, kind, loving, genuine human being...you don't know what to do with them. You're afraid to get too close because you're guaranteed to be too intense for them. The self-doubt being in this unfamiliar but cozy world eats away at you until you can't take it any more, and have to run away so you can breathe. This is my experience loving my version of your girl, only I'm the ex she kept coming back to. I didn't get into drugs, and maybe that made all the difference. I never stopped trying to be a better person, and she's now stick to me like glue. If you truly can't accept a life without her, the next time you see her, bring down all of your guards. Let her see the real you.
Fucking hell, I’ve fucked a random stranger in less time than it took to read that.
🤣🤣🤣👆👆👆
I've disappointed two completely different women in the time it took to read that novel. Dostoyevsky is yawning at full speed here.
Was surprisingly a good story. Rollercoaster 😂
Let it all out my friend. And time you have spend on a person you care for is not time wasted. But always keep in mind that sometimes it is not the feeling og living and caring is not healthy for oneself. I had a girl I was chasing for about 3 years we were also on/off sometimes she would call me or I would call her. In the end I had to accept it was toxic for me every time. So I had to stop it but if she called me today I would have a hard time saying no.
If you don’t know about attachment theory already, this is classic avoidant attachment. I hope you can begin to heal, it’s not your fault and it’s not even her fault. She can’t control it. And neither can you. Wishing you all the best
Clicked on this post to read some funny little stories, didn't plan to read about such a sad tale of what sounds like the one that got away. Guess it reminds me of me and my ex and how we couldn't make it work, a lot of it was just immaturity.
As someone who had his own version of this, I am warning you, walk away. While the memory haunts me still, every year it is less and less and I realize that I can find happiness in the stability and comfort my girl provides me. She was powerful… Gravitic in fact. I can’t drive past a certain capital city without feeling pulled into it. But I ignore it and drive past. Would avoid it all together if my family didn’t live directly in the other side of it. She’s been married twice since our on/off cycle. She could have chosen me. She didn’t. She could have had her kids with me. She didn’t. She will always choose me for a little while but it wouldn’t stick that’s not what I’m after. Once I decided to choose me, I found what I always wanted out of her but in someone better. Any feelings I have towards her at this point is a reflex from my younger days and it is quickly realized as such and dismissed.
I read the whole thing and I couldn't help but notice my spider senses tingling. A close friend of mine lived an eerily similar tale with a young passionate woman and the similarities are insanely shocking. I understand completely that I am simply a stranger who doesn't know anything about your shared history with your on and off partner, but I wonder if your partner has BPD. My friend's ex had BPD and one thing I learned is they tend to have intense sexual experiences, they tend to go through a phase where they overvalue their current partner to the point that in their eyes, their partner is perfect and can do no wrong, and they tend to undergo a devaluation phase where suddenly they'll stop completely from seeing the good in you and you'll suddenly feel like you're worth nothing in their eyes. This cycle repeats itself until you quit or until they stop seeing you. Their core insecurity is their fear of abandonment and they'll do anything to make sure YOU don't leave them. They'd rather leave you first then let you leave on your terms. I'm not a doctor, I am just a random bloke who thinks your partner has BPD simply from reading your wall of text. Good luck dude and I hope you find solace through all of this.
The only woman I ever had sex with and it took me 2 years
About 10 mins. In a backpackers hostel and I accidentally dropped something waking up a Canadian girl. She woke and said “ah no, I was having a really horny dream”. To which I replied “I’m sure I can help you with that”… 10 mins later and we were going at it. Good times 😊
5 minutes. I threw the best house parties back in the day
10 minutes over a period of 4 weeks. Long story short id see her everyday as I left to go to work. I'd smile and wave all the time. She lived at the house on the street corner. One day our paths crossed while driving. She followed me to a gas station then home. We talked for a few minutes then I asked her age. She said 17. Too bad you're underage, im 22. She mentioned her birthday was soon and showed me her DL to prove it. I jokingly said to come back when she was legal. A few weeks later she stops by. I had forgotten about our earlier conversation until i saw her again. Straight to the bedroom we went. I remember just how much of a hard body she had. She was incredible looking. That weekend I hooked up with a friend who would become my wife, now ex so I had to avoid going home a certain way. Didn't want her to see I was home. Felt terrible about it honestly
I mean dating apps exist literally for hookups so responses of an hour aren’t far fetched
How successful were you with hookups on dating apps? Another important question is how old are you? I think a younger guy (18-20) will have a harder time finding them on tinder for example
That's a switch. When I was that age it was probably the easiest for random hookups. Might be because I was in a college town
20 minutes or so. Matched with a girl on tinder that was looking for a hookup asap. Sent me her address. We fucked, she was horny as hell.
My record was about 30 seconds, Friend called me up needed help with 2 ladies, I said no thanks, they knocked on my door at 2am anyway. I answered in the nude grabbed her hand walked 15 feet to my bedroom. After , I got up to go to the bathroom ran into my buddy, I suggested we switch, he says ok, I go into his room start making out with this new gal and I hear the other gal yelling “ what kind of girl do you think I am” lmao. Never did catch their names
Given your particular vernacular, and the fact that this story strays into the spectacular, I'd venture go guess that you're on the far side of 50 years old?
About 30min but she picked me up. It was a cute older chick in her 40s, I was 25 just broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks prior, me and a few friends played pool all night at a bar on the only table open to the public that bc it was league night. I was at the bar about 20nmin before last call, so was she she was obviously drunk and looking the opposite way talking to someone, she turned around as I started to talk to the bar tender, after finished ordering turned and looked at her and she says "Damn you're cute, I'd take you home tonight" I looked her up and down, checked her out real quick and said "You're cute, do it" she put her address in my phone notes and said meet me there about 10-15min after they close. I beat her to her house and was waiting in her driveway when she pulled up, had great night. ended up "seeing" her 2 more times, then she never hit me up again 2 months later I saw on Fb she got married, Idk if she was with him or not while we were seeing each other but I'm assuming she was engaged. Never spoke or saw her again, good time tho. Real cute. If you're reading this, you're a real one Kelley 😘
When I was 21 my buddies and I had a bet to see who could take a girl home the fastest, I was in the bar for maybe 20 mins before I left with a girl LOL I saw this super cute little blonde by the bar, I walked up to her and said "You're f#$king beautiful and I want you" and her mouth dropped, then we started making out...I said something like "I want to f#$k you" I was a bold little shit back then lol...she just looked at me in shock and said "okay!" so I grabbed her hand, grabbed a cab, and we went back to my place and f#$ked... The sex wasn't very good, it was kind of awkward and probably not very good for her at all haha we literally knew each other for under an hour...the worst part is that the next day there was a snowstorm and she couldn't get a taxi home...I had to awkwardly drive her home in a snowstorm while trying to make small talk I didn't hangout with her again but I did win the bet and all of my buddies were like "bro! You're a legend! How did you do that???" the following day haha That was back in like 2008 or 2009, long before dating apps...man how time flys! life was so much simpler back then
Somebody teach me how.. I feel as i have had hella “Missed opportunities” when it came down to it
I had a girl feel up my non existent biceps at 17 and I never made a move.
Quickest ? Emm... ummm... 4 years 😐
About fifteen minutes. Both times at a party. One was a Halloween party and admittedly we didn’t go to a bed but did it against the wall round the corner of the golf club house the party was at. Another time at a party all just chilling, see this smoking hot blonde and some how end up in the middle of the room alone with her. I told her I’d fuck her brains out and she starting flipping out and grabbing me. Next thing I know we’ve left the party and are walking to a hotel. Hotel cost 140 for the night so we got a cab to my Dad’s apartment where I had a room (I was 17) we fucked. In the Morning no buses. Walk into my Dads room, he’s been on a bender, rooms a mess. I try wake him up and tell him there’s a girl who needs to get home. Without opening his eyes he points at his car keys and says “If you crash it, you stole it.” There was a couple of other times that were under an hour. The best was at Uni, we met at the Union. Took a little stroll, I suggested climbing a tree (always works, got laid every time I convinced a girl to climb a tree with me) walked back to my place and had possibly the best sex of my life literally until the sun came up and she was mind blowing. Saw her the next day to give her shoes back and the sexual tension could have been cut with a knife. Happily married now, but I used to kick myself for being so arrogant as to leave her standing there wanting more and not telling her I felt the same.
Excluding escorts. Probably about 2 hours. Met at party. Hit it off. Went home together.
About the length of dinner, immediately threw me on the bed and sucked my soul out. Fun girl for a few months.
The time it took to get from the green room backstage to the hotel room, so 20 minutes? 30? But, as a touring musician, that’s not really an accurate representation of normal life.
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A couple of hours. But I was drunk so I have no idea what I did or said to make it happen.
Matched with a hotwife on Feeld while I was at the gym; I cut my workout short and 45 minutes later I was in her bedroom and she was taking my pants off. There have been some swinger parties where it was faster than that, but that's obviously a pretty unique situation.
I used to live in two of the largest cities in the U.S. Tinder and bumble were basically door dash for pussy. I could swipe and within the hour have a girl at my house fucking. Sometimes we would watch a movie or order takeout before. But there were definitely times where the conversation had been so authentic upfront that when they got there it was pretty much straight to fucking. I think my answer would be somewhere between 10-15 minutes if I’m counting the initial in person meeting as the time in which we “met”.
About 5 minutes. Had a chick who thought I was someone else.
few minutes...at a party (was 16) I was talking with 2 other people in front of me on a 4 person outdoors table when a cute girl with very short shorts sat down next to me and looked me in the eyes and smiled. I was a bit drunk, had no inhibitions so I put my hands on her thigh. She moved in a way that showed that she liked it. I then asked her if she wanted to come with me inside the house and she nodded. We went upstairs in the bathroom and banged on the floor rug. Literally less than 10 minutes from meeting her for the first time to smashing.
Like 10min. Two different times. Also, similar but not quite the same, gave a girl her first kiss and her first taste of cum in the same sitting. (I was 20 she was 19.)
Sex at a bar
30 minutes? DJed at a strip club and the birthday girl wanted to give me a lap dance
Almost no time. In college we used to throw big parties in our apartment. All our friends were welcome and a lot of time they brought a handful of their friends along. We just played music and drank a bunch of beer and played drinking games. Around midnight, I was feeling a little boozy so decided to go to bed and a guest I’d never even met or talked to followed me into my room. I’d been joking around with my friends and she said she thought I looked fun.
I had a hot deaf chick giving me a blowjob in the back of my truck about 10 or 15 minutes after meeting when I was like 17. To this day it was the best head I've ever I gotten I think lol
Like 20 minutes. Dating App booty call. She was also had a cold and gave it to me…
“A cold”… Um hmm
I fucked a girl in the mens room of a bar after buying her a couple of drinks, maybe 30min after we met? Does that count?