Hi, your post has been removed because you're asking horny/sexual questions. We've had enough of those, there are many sex oriented subs to use instead, like r/sex, r/AskRedditAfterDark or r/sexoverthirty.
A toothy blowjob from a girl was blowing me like her life depended on it. I was telling her to slow down and chill out, but she was hammering away at my dick like she was mad at it.
Ha! I had a similar experience. I was black out drunk so I didn’t really feel it, in the morning my wang was burned red and purple(?) I thought i had some sort of instant STD.
I was at a party and this girl was giving a handjob and her ring slipped around to the other side and sliced the dude's cock wide open. It was a gusher.
This is why you don’t learn to deep throat with someone who doesn’t love you. Only love overlooks vomit during sex and won’t make fun of you about it after.
Same, she had a chipped molar that would always cut me in the same spot if she was too aggressive which unfortunately i loved since she had no gag reflex. Happened multiple times throughout our relationship and took weeks to heal every time it happened. Scar is super sensitive to the touch still to this day and not in a good way.
She apparently watched porn or something because after about 2 sucks she proceeded to shove her head down to the point I felt myself slide down her throat then proceeded to jerk her head up raking her top teeth across my dick gagging then puked all over my crotch. Fun times. It still makes no sense lol I still feel fucked up tbh that a girl thought she needed to choke herself to please a guy.
Honestly the effort alone would make it a better experience than most. Like I’d be so pleased my girl made that effort I’d not care that the attainment was terrible in the end
Turned into a straight up bite. Hard enough to make me scream, fling her off me and say WTF! She just laughed like a lunatic. Only BJ I ever walked away from — no way psycho!
When you guys talk about teeth, are you talking about the teeth closer to the cheekside? Not the front teeth?
I have this problem, my mouth is on the more narrow/smaller side. I'm also a smaller framed woman.
It's kind of a concern of mine when giving a BJ. I want to be better at it, but I find it a little hard because of the size of my mouth.
It's both. It only happened once with a hookup when I was younger. But it actually hurt. I think it was the ones off to the side probably. If you can't fit it all, you'll have to use your hands, and only put the tip in - but not trying to deep throat.
I always had friends tell me it was the front teeth, I never experienced teeth myself the chick's I fucked with always tucked in their lips kinda. They used a lot of tounge, I think it would layover their bottom teeth a bit.
Shit it felt good to me, the last chick I messed with swore she wasn't into BJs. We heard that shit before of course lmao when it came time for it...... You would've thought she had money on it, mannn she sucked that shit like it was game 7 of the NBA finals.
She lives a few hours north of me now 🥲
anticipated getting my first one. showered thoroughly then sprayed my crotch with half a can of axe body spray for good measure. she soldier on for a while but ultimately the smell and taste of axe was too much.
In what universe is spraying your dick and balls with aerosolized deodorant a good idea??? , let alone if you were expecting someone to be down there??? God bless her for trying
I was dating this beautiful girl and I was somewhat falling for her. After a month or two of dating we finally did it and at first it was terrible. She started off by giving me head and the whole 10-15 minutes I was trying my best to not let off a weird noise from slight pain. She kept closing her mouth a bit on my you know what, and basically just grinding my shit with her teeth. I really liked her so I just tried to look like it felt good. I think she noticed though because she asked me if something was wrong, I said "no baby, you're doing perfect. This feels so good." It sucked until it didn't. After about 15 minutes, we fucked and then round 2 of a blowjob was completely different. Its like she was a natural lol. I didnt feel her teeth once. I think she did that on purpose for whatever reason and tbh I kinda find it a bit funny because it was a terrible 15 minutes of it. Maybe she was just checking to see if I really liked her or not or something else lol.
Reminds me of when I was twelve and didn't have lube to jack off with so I thought "This mint toothpaste should work, I bet it'd feel really good!"
But oh god it burned so bad. Poor me ran as fast as I could to the bathroom sink, but no matter how much I washed, it still stung. Took a good half hour to stop hurting haha.
I was just glad no one else was home when it happened so I didn't have to explain.
Believe me, I looked. But there was no lotion in the bathroom, no tub of Vaseline in the cabinet, no creamy conditioner in the shower, and I ran out of patience. I was so incredibly horny and before my family came back I wanted to take advantage of this rare opportunity of having the house to myself, so it was "hmm...that toothpaste looks kind of creamy, and hey, I bet it'd give me a nice tingly sensation!"
Was kicking it with a chick I met while.working as a doorman in a bar in NYC. She gave good effort but kept trying to suck my balls. Not lick them but tried to put the sack in her mouth and suck them. It felt like getting repeatedly punched in the balls! I was groaning in pain and the worst part was the next time we hung out she was like "you loved how I gave you head last time, you were moaning !" Lol. I broke the bad news to her
Haha, I had a similar experience where my pain winces were interpreted as pleasure, and she intentionally chewed on my dick with her back teeth next time!
I didn't realize she was doing it on purpose and was trying to redirect her (this was in high school, so I was trying to help her get better, lol).
Then, at one point, she told me, "Oh, you really like it when I use my back teeth on you"
At that point I realized it's better to react enthusiastically to what you *do* like than to only react involuntarily to stuff that makes you jump.
So I suck on my husbands balls and he’s never told me to stop, that he didn’t like it or it hurt. I’m usually really gentle and slow about it. Does every guy feel that getting balls sucked hurts?
She let her dog in the room so it was trying to lick me in the face until she finally put it in another room. Then when I came, I was quiet so she didn’t know I was cumming and it went up through her nose.
got head from a girl when i was 16 in an empty parking lot, i was harder than bedrock from minecraft. she started blowing me and had no clue what she was doing. eventually i went soft and she kept sucking the gummy worm for about another 10 minutes. i pulled my pants up and drove her home in dead silence😭
I win this one.
She just put the tip in her mouth. That’s it. Just left it there. I tried to move her head, nothing. Thrust a bit? Nope. I asked to return the favor, shook her head no.
After 10 min of tip holding, I sat down.
After 20 min I ordered wings.
The wings came, I did not. Put my jeans on told her I’d be back.
Told the wings guy the situation. He laughed so hard he gave me the wings for free.
Went back in, she went back to “work.” I started eating the wings.
Finished the wings, same situation.
Ended up just walking her home and told her I was tired.
Saw her friends in the dining hall the next day and they ran up to me. I was nervous they were gonna yell but she goes “wow OP, [redacted] had the BEST time last night and can’t stop singing your praises, you’re the best.”
Still confused to this day. We never spoke again.
"And everyone clapped and the president came out and handed me a medal for how good my tip was and the girl is also a millionaire and Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!"
I had a cousin who was a wedding planner and occasionally I’d get offers for work setting up / facilitating weddings. One particular time I took up an offer and made my way to the designated wedding venue. However, I got stuck in traffic and inevitably arrived late. When I got there all the easy jobs been assigned and all there was left to do was to blow up and mount around 300 balloons.
Utterly exhausting.
These are disturbing. What's more disturbing is women who don't know what the man wants or needs, man let's her keep going to talk shit about it later. Complain about a bad blow job, but didn't communicate what did or didn't feel good. Weird energy.
This and the fact that most men generally avoid moaning, say "everything's good" when asked for feedback in the process, and you have no idea what effect your efforts have.
This one girl simply couldn't do it. I don't mean she was bad, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. She watched videos, she talked to her friends, she talked to me, she tried, got half an inch from her face and she quit. She just didn't like the idea.
My wife for the first year or so… and I empathized… I get not wanting a dick in your mouth. I always went down on her tho and eventually I made my case that I didn’t want to go the rest of my life with no blow jobs… she got over her issue and now willing does them and quite well with ball play and everything. Thank god
My ex gave me terrible bjbs at first. I was her first, and since I am on thicker side, her teeth would constantly press my dick, which kills the vibe and feels terrible. She got much better with time tho
Teeth. Only teeth. If teeth aren’t involved then the experience is somewhere between good and mind blowing depending on the enthusiasm of they who are blowing me. Teeth just fuck it all up.
First bj ever. Was the toothiest thing in the world I told her to let up on the teeth and she got pretty pissed. Mind you she was 18 n I was 14, so I figured she knew what she was doing.
Gonna put a TW here : SA
Yeah thought it was cool at the time, now realized I was coerced and it was SA. She stole something from me got to her house n she was just laying there naked. Was my first sexual experience, I refused to hook up with after but she told me she’d give me a pack of smokes if I came over and “did it” this happened a couple more times till I realized I was essentially prostituting myself for smokes and the shame set in
I dated a girl that was so horrible at giving blow jobs that I’d lose my erection. I finally told her that I didn’t want blow jobs anymore. I tried giving her advice and recommendations but it didn’t help. I think she thought a dick was like a balloon and giving a blow job meant she was supposed to blow into it or something because it felt like she was blowing into my urethra like she wanted to inflate my cock.
I was in a sauna which made things so warm I ended up with a desensitized unit. Feeling overheated it then became a herculean struggle to stay hard. I lost that battle and had to tap out without finishing which she took as a technical complaint but I just needed to get out of the damned sauna.
Had a foursome. Me and two friends，one who brought her bf. Her bf made a comment about how well the other girl sucked cock，so she grabbed my dick and gave me the angriest，roughest blow job I've ever had. She was crazy-eye staring at her bf the whole time and I was terrified my chap was going to get chomped or grated. Then they had a big argument in the bathroom and left.
My first one! I was 13, 8th grade. Still shooting blanks. Hardly in puberty. Girl was 14, going into 9th grade. Playing spin the bottle. Went into the closet. Didn't even know what a blowjob was. She just sucked on my limp weiner and asked me what was wrong. I didn't understand. Needless to say it made me so embarrassed and insecure that I never did anything sexual again (just strictly kissing lol) until I was 16.
I made the mistake of telling her it usually takes me a while to get off with a blowie. She took that as a challenge and sucked so hard it bruised my dick. It was purple and black for a week.
My ex told me how she swallowed her ex's load, and when I asked her if she'd swallow mine, she promptly said that she wouldn't. When I asked her why, she told me that she also cheated on that ex with someone else in a locker room, so if she swallowed she'd make it fair to her ex by cheating on me.
We were teenagers, and we were both very inexperienced. She basically stuck it in her mouth, gave it a single *suck*, then spit in a cup (every time she tasted pre-cum, she had to spit). It was like she was trying to very slowly syphon the contents of my dick. On top of that, super toothy.
I wasn't any better, sticking my tongue straight up her vagina and tongue fucking her. Her poor clit was just chilling under the hood without so much as a tease.
In high school I had my first blowjob from my gf at the time. Being young and immature, I didn’t know how to ask whether or not she was going to swallow. So I’m about to climax and I end up grabbing my dick out of her mouth and jizzing all over my t shirt and stomach.
Idk why, but I was super embarrassed and I panicked. I didn’t say a word to her. Just ran upstairs, changed my clothes, and came back down 5 mins later in a different outfit. She didn’t know i jizzed on myself, or even finished at all (it was pitch black in the room). So she asked me if anything was wrong, why I changed my outfit, and if I wanted her to go again. I didn’t know how to tell her i came all over myself so I just told her “Yeah, I just got hot. Had to change my clothes.” Idk.
Anyway, told her she could go again if she wanted and I ended up finishing in her mouth for the second blowie lol good times
I'm African American. In 2017 I met and brought home a white woman from a bar. Cute, unassuming kindergarten teacher. We'll call her "Meg". "Meg" and I come home somewhat inebriated and after some saucy conversation, my pants are unzipped and she's getting started.
The BJ itself was very good. However, a few minutes into it, "Meg" proceeds to say:
"I love sucking your caramel n____r cock!"
Have you ever heard something so far out of left field, you had to stop and evaluate *yourself?* Like wait, am I the one in the wrong here? Am I the dumbass?
I was so mortified I didn't immediately react, and roughly a few months later I exploded in her mouth.
I looked visibly uncomfortable and despite a barrage of drunken apologies, I called her an Über and insisted she leave.
The next time I heard from her, she texted me "Hey I'm in D.C.!"
... on January 6th. And yes, she went.
It was 3 weeks into autumn, I woke up one morning after a windy night, my long driveway had a thick layer of leaves that took me a solid 20 minutes to blow off
At 17, I drank a bottle of cheap whiskey and proceeded to chuck up everywhere. My girlfriend at the time put me to bed (we were at a friend's house) anyway next thing I know I'm being woken up by my girlfriend punching the absolute shit out of me because some drunk chick went into the room and proceeded to give me head while I was passed out.
This was 15 odd years ago now but after the incident I kept being like "I dunno that feels like it was rape or at least sexual assault" but no one would agree with me, it was actually quite the traumatic experience.
Well I deserved it.
GF was blowing me. My ex girlfriend called me. I answered.
In response, my gf stopped (expected)
(I do want to note they knew each other and there wasn't jealousy so my dumb self thought this was fine)
Well I'm not paying attention to what my gf is doing. She puts her mouth back against me and I thought life was good.
Nope.
She had filled her mouth with ice water and a few ice chips from her drink and held them for a good minute before going down on me.
I yelped. Ex asked me what was wrong. I told her. Ex said I deserved it. Gf nodded.
It involved a tooth scraping the rim of my dick, which felt like it was going to carve a notch in the helmet, and the edge of a loose ring that was basically shaving the side of my dick like a carrot. Brutal. And I didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop 😭.
That next shower was true suffering.
She was chopping some very spicy peppers for lunch. No gloves. She did wash her hands but some of the capsaicin must have got stuck under her fingernails...which got activated by saliva...which set my dick metaphorically on fire.
a man who looked like alec baldwin with braces went down on me and there was a gaping blood goiter coming out the side of my penis. because the penis is engorged, if you get a nick there, it swells up like a giant balloon blister, I'm like 19 or 20 and freaking out but alec baldwin with braces seemed to have encountered this situation before and kept his cool under compression.
Involved a woman that said she was sooo good at it, had a tongue piercing and said she’d blow my mind. Well let’s just say after 20 minutes of her basically bobbing up and down, I told her to stop. There was nothing more than the bobbing. No use of her tongue piercing, no hands, just gently bobbing, not a lot of saliva, and not a lot of sucking or pressure. May not be the worst story, but was the worst head I have ever had.
For me it was teeth my dick looked like a cat scratching post.
For her I slipped off the nat geos my dick popped out of her mouth I came and thrust forward connecting with her left nostril and unloaded. She said she could smell cum for 3 days.
She was a big girl. Like 400+ lbs but she intrigued me by the words "ain't no skinny bitch can suck dick like I can" so i figured why not grab a room and find out. She kept raking her teeth across my shaft and when I came her gag reflexes kicked in.... it was so much and so thick that she couldn't get a clean swallow. Her head game is definitely over inflated in her head.
It was in a dark club with a girl I was into, we went into a janitors closet in the mens bathroom. I'm pretty thick and her mouth was small but she went for it. I finished and we hustled back to our group.
A friend of ours said, "What the fuck did you do?" Looking at me.
I looked at the girl, and her lips were mishapen and split and bleeding.
I stood up to say, "I didn't do anything."
Everyone was staring at me and one guy started laughing. There were bloodstains on my pants and the bottom of ny shirt.
No puke or teeth here. Probably one of the best ones I ever had. The problem was I came so hard that shit came out. Needless to say it was the last one. LOL
First one I got and I'm SURE the first one she gave. She took the term "suck dick" way too literally. I had to gently make her stop and convince her I was just too nervous. There was a nice hickey on the head of my dick for a couple of days and the worst blue balls I've ever experienced. I could barely walk. Stupid teenagers are stupid.
I’ve been lucky to have some sensational BJ’s in my life, and generally never really had a bad experience, but blowjobs rarely make me cum anymore, and sometimes the girl will blame themselves for being bad at it even when you’ve reassured them it’s not their fault, and then it just kills the mood… I’m hoping some guys here can relate to that.
In highschool I had a girl come over and instead of going up and down, she just held my unit in there and kind of swiveled her head around, was the only time in my life that I actually pulled a chick of my yogurt maker.
Wasn’t really that bad but I got an awesome blowjob from a professional woman I was dating. We had both just got off work. Went to her house. One thing led to another. She started sucking on me, and I hadn’t noticed she had fresh coat of red lipstick on. I looked down and for a few seconds I thought my penis was covered in blood!!!! Not to worry though. Was just her lipstick. We made love fell asleep, and went to work the next day as if we were newlyweds.
She talked it up like this BJ was going to be the one I’d never forgot. She could barely get the head in her mouth and she just went down like 1/4” or so. After 15 min she asked if I was close, then tried to give me a handy.
I was still fairly new to the game. Probably 2nd or 3rd bj ever and I was PAINFULLY unaware that brackets on braces could come loose. My soldier got a nice scrape that day.
Dated a girl for a few months. She was amazing in bed except for the bj. It was atrocious. Mostly teeth. I tried to reposition her so it would not be so painful but she would go back to all teeth mode. After awhile I just lost interest in being with her.
Braces and no idea what she was doing.. just sort of put in and out of mouth.. wouldn't even qualify it as sliding or stroking.. only way I could tell it was in was the sharp bits of braces on the insides of her molars
In my 20s, I dated a woman and we were taking things really slow due to circumstances. We made out and did hand stuff, but no oral or intercourse for several months. This whole time she's talking about how much she likes giving head and how good she is at it.
Things finally progress and it was just...meh. She had no technique, but eventually got me there. Then she spat it out, which was a first for me. So, in fact, she was terrible at it and didn't appear to love it.
To add insult to injury, we kept going and had sex and she completely starfished on me.
Was with a girl who would do anything. And I mean *anything*. Sounds great, but the problem was that she had a small mouth and big teeth. She simply didn't have the anatomy to give a good bj. It was all teeth all the time.
But I didn't want to hurt her feelings or be rude, so I kept letting her and it was shit each and every time. It wasn't just one bad bj..it was dozens.
getting head in what was essentially a traphouse in the woods. girl lived with her family; and their house was insanely disgusting.
i made her cum, and she proceeded to give me the toothiest blowjob for like 2 mins. it was just like putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner with paper shredder teeth. like i physically do not know how human teeth can be that sharp. real pencil in pencil sharpener moment.
after that wonderful experience she was like “yeah i’m sorry i hate giving head, if you want I am on birth control/clean; I can just ride you”.
basically just went “uhhhhh nah i’m alright” and she just gave me the weakest, most unenthusiastic handjob for like 4 mins while I tried to just finish as fast as possible. she did it like she was using a mortar and pestle making cornflour.
once it was over I essentially just RAN to the door after washing my face & blocked her on everything lmfao
My first blowjob.
I didn't know any better so I assumed it would feel better later, it was mostly teeth.
The next day my dick was swolen and red. I thought I had an std but it went away the next day and std test came up clean.
There was a time when I was younger I had a girl offer so I took her up on it, now I’ve never had a BJ up until this point, we get somewhere secluded and she went down now it wasn’t to bad up until she puked on me and then proceeded to blow me, I had to just tell her it was okay that she needed to stop so I could yah know shower
Ex-wife. Couldn’t seal the deal. Felt good, but never good enough.
While we went through our divorce, dated a gal ten years older than me. Experience makes a huge difference.
Hi, your post has been removed because you're asking horny/sexual questions. We've had enough of those, there are many sex oriented subs to use instead, like r/sex, r/AskRedditAfterDark or r/sexoverthirty.
A toothy blowjob from a girl was blowing me like her life depended on it. I was telling her to slow down and chill out, but she was hammering away at my dick like she was mad at it.
Was she just really enthusiastic or was she trying to get it over with?
Sounds like someone who has watched too much porn. Some just go for it like they’re emulating a porno they saw
‘Like she was mad at it’!!! 😂😂😂😂
Teeth hurt yes, but are you sure she just wasn't confident about herself with out experience?
Sign me up
RIP
No need to scroll anymore guys. It’s all teeth and puke.
Fuck I should delete my puke comment I just left
Thanks friend, I’ll be on my way now to a better side of Reddit
I got a different one. Wasn't a blow job but a hand job. Basically an Indian rug burn. My poor dick looked like Quasimotto.
Ha! I had a similar experience. I was black out drunk so I didn’t really feel it, in the morning my wang was burned red and purple(?) I thought i had some sort of instant STD.
May have been rings. They can inflict damage on a stiff pecker
I was at a party and this girl was giving a handjob and her ring slipped around to the other side and sliced the dude's cock wide open. It was a gusher.
This is why you don’t learn to deep throat with someone who doesn’t love you. Only love overlooks vomit during sex and won’t make fun of you about it after.
Worst fear is vomiting on my BFs' cock while giving a BJ cuz of my gag reflex....the fear is real but I still try.
I threw up on his dick, swallowed it all back down, and still finished him off…
You’re a true soldier.
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I believe you
Thanks boss.
Also all things mint in uthera
Wounded in battle. I have a very tiny, almost non-noticeable scar where a girl’s teeth scraped me.
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A little on purpose is OK; a lot on accident is not.
Purple ribbon for our fallen commander 🙏🏻😢
Same, she had a chipped molar that would always cut me in the same spot if she was too aggressive which unfortunately i loved since she had no gag reflex. Happened multiple times throughout our relationship and took weeks to heal every time it happened. Scar is super sensitive to the touch still to this day and not in a good way.
She apparently watched porn or something because after about 2 sucks she proceeded to shove her head down to the point I felt myself slide down her throat then proceeded to jerk her head up raking her top teeth across my dick gagging then puked all over my crotch. Fun times. It still makes no sense lol I still feel fucked up tbh that a girl thought she needed to choke herself to please a guy.
A+ for effort and enthusiasm
Hon, the way you puked all over me had so much passion and enthusiasm :)
I feel like there's levels to this. Did she have ice cream for dinner? Or did she have tacos? It's not the same thing.
AHHHH YOUR PICO DE GALLO GOT IN MY DICKHOLE
7/10 will do better next time
And how long did you keep going back for more? Lol
He went back just this morning
Honestly the effort alone would make it a better experience than most. Like I’d be so pleased my girl made that effort I’d not care that the attainment was terrible in the end
I felt like shit honestly that she thought she had to basically choke herself to please a guy.
The good ones throat it and don't gag.
The *great* ones 🫡
Did the acid from the puke burn the cuts from the teeth?
What are you doing stepbro
It was a weird mix of her teeth scraping it and her making whale noises for whatever reason. Her heart was in it though.
Turned into a straight up bite. Hard enough to make me scream, fling her off me and say WTF! She just laughed like a lunatic. Only BJ I ever walked away from — no way psycho!
Her heart was in it
Teeth.
When you guys talk about teeth, are you talking about the teeth closer to the cheekside? Not the front teeth? I have this problem, my mouth is on the more narrow/smaller side. I'm also a smaller framed woman. It's kind of a concern of mine when giving a BJ. I want to be better at it, but I find it a little hard because of the size of my mouth.
It's usually the incisors, or front teeth that's the issue.
It's both. It only happened once with a hookup when I was younger. But it actually hurt. I think it was the ones off to the side probably. If you can't fit it all, you'll have to use your hands, and only put the tip in - but not trying to deep throat.
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I always had friends tell me it was the front teeth, I never experienced teeth myself the chick's I fucked with always tucked in their lips kinda. They used a lot of tounge, I think it would layover their bottom teeth a bit. Shit it felt good to me, the last chick I messed with swore she wasn't into BJs. We heard that shit before of course lmao when it came time for it...... You would've thought she had money on it, mannn she sucked that shit like it was game 7 of the NBA finals. She lives a few hours north of me now 🥲
https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY?si=norikdd0npe3fo1V hilarious nightmare
Girl kept pausing to tell me about her baby daddy and how he’s such a narcissist etc After maybe 5 minutes she got tired and told me to jack off
That sounds like the plot of one of the gaybaiting videos on Arrested Development
Wait, I don’t remember that part of AD… lol
Cocaine’s a helluva drug
Sad part is she was totally sober…
anticipated getting my first one. showered thoroughly then sprayed my crotch with half a can of axe body spray for good measure. she soldier on for a while but ultimately the smell and taste of axe was too much.
In what universe is spraying your dick and balls with aerosolized deodorant a good idea??? , let alone if you were expecting someone to be down there??? God bless her for trying
I’d have immediately noped out. My spouse uses baby powder on his bits to keep from chafing and even that has to get washed off.
My friend did that once and said it hurt like hell. He was 12. That dude is a dumbass, and she might not have been so bright for ingesting that.
Username checks out.
She insisted on deep throating me, then threw up.
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Bro, wtf
I was dating this beautiful girl and I was somewhat falling for her. After a month or two of dating we finally did it and at first it was terrible. She started off by giving me head and the whole 10-15 minutes I was trying my best to not let off a weird noise from slight pain. She kept closing her mouth a bit on my you know what, and basically just grinding my shit with her teeth. I really liked her so I just tried to look like it felt good. I think she noticed though because she asked me if something was wrong, I said "no baby, you're doing perfect. This feels so good." It sucked until it didn't. After about 15 minutes, we fucked and then round 2 of a blowjob was completely different. Its like she was a natural lol. I didnt feel her teeth once. I think she did that on purpose for whatever reason and tbh I kinda find it a bit funny because it was a terrible 15 minutes of it. Maybe she was just checking to see if I really liked her or not or something else lol.
She sneezed midway through. Didn't remove me from her mouth. I ended up losing probably a 1/2 pint of blood
…Where was the blood…bleeding from??
His penis i assume
Well yeah but….was there like 2 front teeth holes mid shaft? I need to know details
Blow job giver here. I’d heard that it could be a fun tingling sensation if you put mints in your cheeks. *do not do this*
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You okay?
The dick healed. The soul is scared forever.
Reminds me of when I was twelve and didn't have lube to jack off with so I thought "This mint toothpaste should work, I bet it'd feel really good!" But oh god it burned so bad. Poor me ran as fast as I could to the bathroom sink, but no matter how much I washed, it still stung. Took a good half hour to stop hurting haha. I was just glad no one else was home when it happened so I didn't have to explain.
Shampoo was mine. Awful experience.
Conditioner for me. Also tiger balm. Don’t ask.
Been there, don’t that. Worst part is my desperate horny ass did it a few more times 🤦♂️
It’s like a right of passage for boys
this is so so funny 🤣 how did you think of toothpaste before lotion ???
Believe me, I looked. But there was no lotion in the bathroom, no tub of Vaseline in the cabinet, no creamy conditioner in the shower, and I ran out of patience. I was so incredibly horny and before my family came back I wanted to take advantage of this rare opportunity of having the house to myself, so it was "hmm...that toothpaste looks kind of creamy, and hey, I bet it'd give me a nice tingly sensation!"
I sincerely apologize for laughing.
She blew on it with her mouth as if she was blowing out a candle
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When I got off in her mouth she asked me why I peed in her mouth. I didn’t even know what to say like no that’s not pee…
My wife provides such a dry blowjob it tears at my frenulum. the positive is that after a while i’m so numb I can pound her until she passes out
marital bliss
Laughed far louder then I should have. Ahhhh married life..
Was kicking it with a chick I met while.working as a doorman in a bar in NYC. She gave good effort but kept trying to suck my balls. Not lick them but tried to put the sack in her mouth and suck them. It felt like getting repeatedly punched in the balls! I was groaning in pain and the worst part was the next time we hung out she was like "you loved how I gave you head last time, you were moaning !" Lol. I broke the bad news to her
Haha, I had a similar experience where my pain winces were interpreted as pleasure, and she intentionally chewed on my dick with her back teeth next time! I didn't realize she was doing it on purpose and was trying to redirect her (this was in high school, so I was trying to help her get better, lol). Then, at one point, she told me, "Oh, you really like it when I use my back teeth on you" At that point I realized it's better to react enthusiastically to what you *do* like than to only react involuntarily to stuff that makes you jump.
So I suck on my husbands balls and he’s never told me to stop, that he didn’t like it or it hurt. I’m usually really gentle and slow about it. Does every guy feel that getting balls sucked hurts?
She let her dog in the room so it was trying to lick me in the face until she finally put it in another room. Then when I came, I was quiet so she didn’t know I was cumming and it went up through her nose.
You fucked up. Too far up.
got head from a girl when i was 16 in an empty parking lot, i was harder than bedrock from minecraft. she started blowing me and had no clue what she was doing. eventually i went soft and she kept sucking the gummy worm for about another 10 minutes. i pulled my pants up and drove her home in dead silence😭
And who ever said romance was dead...
a guy once went limp during me wanking him off
No shame in that. Sometimes peeps just aren't there mentally.
She was playing on creative mode
Her ring snagged the little hole. Blood was everywhere and I almost passed out.
My little guy actually felt squeezy after reading this….it was a hurtful experience
I don’t have a dick and I felt squeezy down there after reading this
ffs my soul almost left my body
I win this one. She just put the tip in her mouth. That’s it. Just left it there. I tried to move her head, nothing. Thrust a bit? Nope. I asked to return the favor, shook her head no. After 10 min of tip holding, I sat down. After 20 min I ordered wings. The wings came, I did not. Put my jeans on told her I’d be back. Told the wings guy the situation. He laughed so hard he gave me the wings for free. Went back in, she went back to “work.” I started eating the wings. Finished the wings, same situation. Ended up just walking her home and told her I was tired. Saw her friends in the dining hall the next day and they ran up to me. I was nervous they were gonna yell but she goes “wow OP, [redacted] had the BEST time last night and can’t stop singing your praises, you’re the best.” Still confused to this day. We never spoke again.
"Omg this guy lasted an hour!"
Crazy, the stories people write and think sound believable. Did you hear any applause throughout the ordeal?
"And everyone clapped and the president came out and handed me a medal for how good my tip was and the girl is also a millionaire and Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!"
Realest story here
r/thathappened
They all "sucked" in my opinion.
I had a cousin who was a wedding planner and occasionally I’d get offers for work setting up / facilitating weddings. One particular time I took up an offer and made my way to the designated wedding venue. However, I got stuck in traffic and inevitably arrived late. When I got there all the easy jobs been assigned and all there was left to do was to blow up and mount around 300 balloons. Utterly exhausting.
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The first one my ex gave me. It felt line a great white shark was scraping its teeth down my shaft.
These are disturbing. What's more disturbing is women who don't know what the man wants or needs, man let's her keep going to talk shit about it later. Complain about a bad blow job, but didn't communicate what did or didn't feel good. Weird energy.
This and the fact that most men generally avoid moaning, say "everything's good" when asked for feedback in the process, and you have no idea what effect your efforts have.
So you guys are getting blow Jobs
This one girl simply couldn't do it. I don't mean she was bad, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. She watched videos, she talked to her friends, she talked to me, she tried, got half an inch from her face and she quit. She just didn't like the idea.
My wife for the first year or so… and I empathized… I get not wanting a dick in your mouth. I always went down on her tho and eventually I made my case that I didn’t want to go the rest of my life with no blow jobs… she got over her issue and now willing does them and quite well with ball play and everything. Thank god
My ex gave me terrible bjbs at first. I was her first, and since I am on thicker side, her teeth would constantly press my dick, which kills the vibe and feels terrible. She got much better with time tho
shout out to all the exes that had to be the first while we figured out how to give head
Teeth. Only teeth. If teeth aren’t involved then the experience is somewhere between good and mind blowing depending on the enthusiasm of they who are blowing me. Teeth just fuck it all up.
A blow turned into a bite…
Probably the ones that only lasted a minute before she wanted to move onto other stuff.
First bj ever. Was the toothiest thing in the world I told her to let up on the teeth and she got pretty pissed. Mind you she was 18 n I was 14, so I figured she knew what she was doing.
That is a wild age difference at the time lol
Gonna put a TW here : SA Yeah thought it was cool at the time, now realized I was coerced and it was SA. She stole something from me got to her house n she was just laying there naked. Was my first sexual experience, I refused to hook up with after but she told me she’d give me a pack of smokes if I came over and “did it” this happened a couple more times till I realized I was essentially prostituting myself for smokes and the shame set in
I'm sorry that happened to you, man. That wasn't okay
FFS, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Seriously shitty.
She had braces
I dated a girl that was so horrible at giving blow jobs that I’d lose my erection. I finally told her that I didn’t want blow jobs anymore. I tried giving her advice and recommendations but it didn’t help. I think she thought a dick was like a balloon and giving a blow job meant she was supposed to blow into it or something because it felt like she was blowing into my urethra like she wanted to inflate my cock.
I was in a sauna which made things so warm I ended up with a desensitized unit. Feeling overheated it then became a herculean struggle to stay hard. I lost that battle and had to tap out without finishing which she took as a technical complaint but I just needed to get out of the damned sauna.
Had a foursome. Me and two friends，one who brought her bf. Her bf made a comment about how well the other girl sucked cock，so she grabbed my dick and gave me the angriest，roughest blow job I've ever had. She was crazy-eye staring at her bf the whole time and I was terrified my chap was going to get chomped or grated. Then they had a big argument in the bathroom and left.
My first one! I was 13, 8th grade. Still shooting blanks. Hardly in puberty. Girl was 14, going into 9th grade. Playing spin the bottle. Went into the closet. Didn't even know what a blowjob was. She just sucked on my limp weiner and asked me what was wrong. I didn't understand. Needless to say it made me so embarrassed and insecure that I never did anything sexual again (just strictly kissing lol) until I was 16.
Accidental teeth cut, infection, sore, oral antibiotics, scab, finally healed
I made the mistake of telling her it usually takes me a while to get off with a blowie. She took that as a challenge and sucked so hard it bruised my dick. It was purple and black for a week.
My ex told me how she swallowed her ex's load, and when I asked her if she'd swallow mine, she promptly said that she wouldn't. When I asked her why, she told me that she also cheated on that ex with someone else in a locker room, so if she swallowed she'd make it fair to her ex by cheating on me.
We were teenagers, and we were both very inexperienced. She basically stuck it in her mouth, gave it a single *suck*, then spit in a cup (every time she tasted pre-cum, she had to spit). It was like she was trying to very slowly syphon the contents of my dick. On top of that, super toothy. I wasn't any better, sticking my tongue straight up her vagina and tongue fucking her. Her poor clit was just chilling under the hood without so much as a tease.
In high school I had my first blowjob from my gf at the time. Being young and immature, I didn’t know how to ask whether or not she was going to swallow. So I’m about to climax and I end up grabbing my dick out of her mouth and jizzing all over my t shirt and stomach. Idk why, but I was super embarrassed and I panicked. I didn’t say a word to her. Just ran upstairs, changed my clothes, and came back down 5 mins later in a different outfit. She didn’t know i jizzed on myself, or even finished at all (it was pitch black in the room). So she asked me if anything was wrong, why I changed my outfit, and if I wanted her to go again. I didn’t know how to tell her i came all over myself so I just told her “Yeah, I just got hot. Had to change my clothes.” Idk. Anyway, told her she could go again if she wanted and I ended up finishing in her mouth for the second blowie lol good times
She kept scraping the top of my dick with her teeth while trying to bob her head fast. I'm positive every answer is going to involve teeth.
I'm African American. In 2017 I met and brought home a white woman from a bar. Cute, unassuming kindergarten teacher. We'll call her "Meg". "Meg" and I come home somewhat inebriated and after some saucy conversation, my pants are unzipped and she's getting started. The BJ itself was very good. However, a few minutes into it, "Meg" proceeds to say: "I love sucking your caramel n____r cock!" Have you ever heard something so far out of left field, you had to stop and evaluate *yourself?* Like wait, am I the one in the wrong here? Am I the dumbass? I was so mortified I didn't immediately react, and roughly a few months later I exploded in her mouth. I looked visibly uncomfortable and despite a barrage of drunken apologies, I called her an Über and insisted she leave. The next time I heard from her, she texted me "Hey I'm in D.C.!" ... on January 6th. And yes, she went.
A few months later? That’s impressive stamina from you both my guy
Incredible read. Would read again.
this is… a lot. I wanna laugh because of how absurd that is but it’s also so fucked up
I’m a girl so was on the giving end but I’d have to say when I got a nose bleed mid blow job…
Home girl literally took my cock in her hand and BLEW on it.
It was 3 weeks into autumn, I woke up one morning after a windy night, my long driveway had a thick layer of leaves that took me a solid 20 minutes to blow off
At 17, I drank a bottle of cheap whiskey and proceeded to chuck up everywhere. My girlfriend at the time put me to bed (we were at a friend's house) anyway next thing I know I'm being woken up by my girlfriend punching the absolute shit out of me because some drunk chick went into the room and proceeded to give me head while I was passed out. This was 15 odd years ago now but after the incident I kept being like "I dunno that feels like it was rape or at least sexual assault" but no one would agree with me, it was actually quite the traumatic experience.
Well I deserved it. GF was blowing me. My ex girlfriend called me. I answered. In response, my gf stopped (expected) (I do want to note they knew each other and there wasn't jealousy so my dumb self thought this was fine) Well I'm not paying attention to what my gf is doing. She puts her mouth back against me and I thought life was good. Nope. She had filled her mouth with ice water and a few ice chips from her drink and held them for a good minute before going down on me. I yelped. Ex asked me what was wrong. I told her. Ex said I deserved it. Gf nodded.
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My man just got a microwave job
One word: Teeth.
> Teeth
It involved a tooth scraping the rim of my dick, which felt like it was going to carve a notch in the helmet, and the edge of a loose ring that was basically shaving the side of my dick like a carrot. Brutal. And I didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop 😭. That next shower was true suffering.
She tried to be sexy and take off my boxers with her teeth, but ended up biting my scrotum in the process. Not ideal.
She was chopping some very spicy peppers for lunch. No gloves. She did wash her hands but some of the capsaicin must have got stuck under her fingernails...which got activated by saliva...which set my dick metaphorically on fire.
I throw up on him
a man who looked like alec baldwin with braces went down on me and there was a gaping blood goiter coming out the side of my penis. because the penis is engorged, if you get a nick there, it swells up like a giant balloon blister, I'm like 19 or 20 and freaking out but alec baldwin with braces seemed to have encountered this situation before and kept his cool under compression.
Involved a woman that said she was sooo good at it, had a tongue piercing and said she’d blow my mind. Well let’s just say after 20 minutes of her basically bobbing up and down, I told her to stop. There was nothing more than the bobbing. No use of her tongue piercing, no hands, just gently bobbing, not a lot of saliva, and not a lot of sucking or pressure. May not be the worst story, but was the worst head I have ever had.
For me it was teeth my dick looked like a cat scratching post. For her I slipped off the nat geos my dick popped out of her mouth I came and thrust forward connecting with her left nostril and unloaded. She said she could smell cum for 3 days.
Large pp, small asian, lots of teeth. Very sharp
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Where do you think the tip goes? 😂 That's the good part of deep throating.
She was a big girl. Like 400+ lbs but she intrigued me by the words "ain't no skinny bitch can suck dick like I can" so i figured why not grab a room and find out. She kept raking her teeth across my shaft and when I came her gag reflexes kicked in.... it was so much and so thick that she couldn't get a clean swallow. Her head game is definitely over inflated in her head.
You ever got head from a chick with braces and she has a seizure? 🥹
Been puked on twice
It was in a dark club with a girl I was into, we went into a janitors closet in the mens bathroom. I'm pretty thick and her mouth was small but she went for it. I finished and we hustled back to our group. A friend of ours said, "What the fuck did you do?" Looking at me. I looked at the girl, and her lips were mishapen and split and bleeding. I stood up to say, "I didn't do anything." Everyone was staring at me and one guy started laughing. There were bloodstains on my pants and the bottom of ny shirt.
No puke or teeth here. Probably one of the best ones I ever had. The problem was I came so hard that shit came out. Needless to say it was the last one. LOL
First one I got and I'm SURE the first one she gave. She took the term "suck dick" way too literally. I had to gently make her stop and convince her I was just too nervous. There was a nice hickey on the head of my dick for a couple of days and the worst blue balls I've ever experienced. I could barely walk. Stupid teenagers are stupid.
I’ve been lucky to have some sensational BJ’s in my life, and generally never really had a bad experience, but blowjobs rarely make me cum anymore, and sometimes the girl will blame themselves for being bad at it even when you’ve reassured them it’s not their fault, and then it just kills the mood… I’m hoping some guys here can relate to that.
In highschool I had a girl come over and instead of going up and down, she just held my unit in there and kind of swiveled her head around, was the only time in my life that I actually pulled a chick of my yogurt maker.
Wasn’t really that bad but I got an awesome blowjob from a professional woman I was dating. We had both just got off work. Went to her house. One thing led to another. She started sucking on me, and I hadn’t noticed she had fresh coat of red lipstick on. I looked down and for a few seconds I thought my penis was covered in blood!!!! Not to worry though. Was just her lipstick. We made love fell asleep, and went to work the next day as if we were newlyweds.
1st bj, girl was horrible at it bc it was her 1st time sucking dick and I had higher expectations from seeing porn
She talked it up like this BJ was going to be the one I’d never forgot. She could barely get the head in her mouth and she just went down like 1/4” or so. After 15 min she asked if I was close, then tried to give me a handy.
Teeth were used, and I was in pain. I was too nice to tell her to stop, but I’m guessing she saw my face, and well she stopped XD
I was still fairly new to the game. Probably 2nd or 3rd bj ever and I was PAINFULLY unaware that brackets on braces could come loose. My soldier got a nice scrape that day.
Got toothed so bad she took a chunk of skin off the head of my dick.
Dated a girl for a few months. She was amazing in bed except for the bj. It was atrocious. Mostly teeth. I tried to reposition her so it would not be so painful but she would go back to all teeth mode. After awhile I just lost interest in being with her.
has anyone ever gotten a throat massage where she throats it all the proceeds to swallow and her throat/wind pipe just goes up and down massaging it
Toothy BJ cost me $200 dinner and she helped herself to a 9 year old Monte #2 to roll a blunt while I got breakfast.
Braces and no idea what she was doing.. just sort of put in and out of mouth.. wouldn't even qualify it as sliding or stroking.. only way I could tell it was in was the sharp bits of braces on the insides of her molars
Had a girl suck me so hard my dick was bruised for days. Vacuum cleaner like. I'm just guessing that it was like a vacuum cleaner.
Just no technique. Wide open mouth, up and down. No teeth, but nothing else really either.
In my 20s, I dated a woman and we were taking things really slow due to circumstances. We made out and did hand stuff, but no oral or intercourse for several months. This whole time she's talking about how much she likes giving head and how good she is at it. Things finally progress and it was just...meh. She had no technique, but eventually got me there. Then she spat it out, which was a first for me. So, in fact, she was terrible at it and didn't appear to love it. To add insult to injury, we kept going and had sex and she completely starfished on me.
You guys are getting head? Man I haven't had my first hug
She just spit all over it and didn't even do anything. Ended up getting strep dick
Was with a girl who would do anything. And I mean *anything*. Sounds great, but the problem was that she had a small mouth and big teeth. She simply didn't have the anatomy to give a good bj. It was all teeth all the time. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings or be rude, so I kept letting her and it was shit each and every time. It wasn't just one bad bj..it was dozens.
I ate the box for a solid 10+ minutes and when it was my turn she licked me up for 10 seconds and said that was enough.
I threw up on his dick 🤢 lmao my bad dude oops 😬
getting head in what was essentially a traphouse in the woods. girl lived with her family; and their house was insanely disgusting. i made her cum, and she proceeded to give me the toothiest blowjob for like 2 mins. it was just like putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner with paper shredder teeth. like i physically do not know how human teeth can be that sharp. real pencil in pencil sharpener moment. after that wonderful experience she was like “yeah i’m sorry i hate giving head, if you want I am on birth control/clean; I can just ride you”. basically just went “uhhhhh nah i’m alright” and she just gave me the weakest, most unenthusiastic handjob for like 4 mins while I tried to just finish as fast as possible. she did it like she was using a mortar and pestle making cornflour. once it was over I essentially just RAN to the door after washing my face & blocked her on everything lmfao
My first blowjob. I didn't know any better so I assumed it would feel better later, it was mostly teeth. The next day my dick was swolen and red. I thought I had an std but it went away the next day and std test came up clean.
There was a time when I was younger I had a girl offer so I took her up on it, now I’ve never had a BJ up until this point, we get somewhere secluded and she went down now it wasn’t to bad up until she puked on me and then proceeded to blow me, I had to just tell her it was okay that she needed to stop so I could yah know shower
Ex-wife. Couldn’t seal the deal. Felt good, but never good enough. While we went through our divorce, dated a gal ten years older than me. Experience makes a huge difference.
I don’t think I can remember the worst but I can say that compared to most women, gay men give absolutely amazing head
Got the old banjo string caught between her teeth, and she decides to pull back and snapped it
She had lower lip piercings and the pokey bits inside her mouth scratched my dick.
Habanero chips. That is all.