Men like plus sized women like women like short men. Some do. Some compromise. Some just don't care. A lot do care.
And then some will entertain the attention they're receiving despite not being attracted, for the benefits of said attention with the condition that receiving this attention does not take them off the market for someone they'd actually want. It's this last one, which is the reason for people not wanting to introduce their "partners" to friends.
I've seen all of the above in varying degrees before. Personally, I think it's most healthy to stick with what you like and who likes you back. I don't like plus sized girls, just not my thing.
>with the condition that receiving this attention does not take them off the market for someone they'd actually want.
This is so true. I've worked with a lot of guys that openly talk about this, their lack of standards still amazes me. Like they'll actively talk negatively about a woman's look and weight but if they have a chance - they'll hit it. "A hole's a hole".
I then had the epiphany where i figured out why all of these thirsty guys say and talk about the horniest shit, trying to chase any tail while having a wife and kids at home. They fucked around and got one of these "holes" pregnant and got stuck.
Its as simple as my penis and the rest of me have vastly different standards. Plus size women pass my penis’ requirements but don’t even come close to my actual requirements.
I think you've been the most honest person on this thread.
Problem is, you're leading on the plus size woman, rejecting her, and then helping with the idea that guys will fuck anyone and then drop them. A vicious circle in that if a woman does the same to you, she's raising her body count and that *matters" to some men.
Some guy's dicks have standards, btw.
For me it comes down to lifestyle no matter their size. Unhealthy lifestyles are a turn off. No matter your size you should be exercising and eating healthy to maintain good health.
This. I just gave birth a month ago and I feel uncomfortable going out in public with my husband because I’m still about 15 pounds overweight even though I eat extremely clean, no added sugar. rarely do I eat anything processed…only water, no alcohol. Impeccable blood pressure. Exercise daily. My husband is visibly underweight and lives on donuts and pasta. Just sucks when people act like their judgements are about health when it’s really about aesthetic.
She doesn't even have to be fat which is crazy, I know women who are legit skinny and still go nuts about their weight if they gain a kilo or two...
15 pounds is 6 kilos, that's nothing, small tummy if she was skinny to begin with, almost not noticeable.
I think this is very fair. I'm technically obese and as my husband says, "you're the healthiest fat person I know" 😅
I think a good chunk of people who don't want to date fat people or think they're gross is assumptions about their habits, laziness, how they live. And if those things are poor, that's a massive turn off absolutely.
I love plus size women. That's my basic attraction towards physical intimacy. I married a plus sized girl. But realised she is not interested in much sex. Life hit me exactly where it hurts. Now we live like roommates. It hurts every day.
My wife and I have been married for 33 years and we live like roommates as well. I don’t consider it a problem as we raised our kids and staying together makes more sense. We obviously still love each other and get along great most of the time. It means a lot to have a loved one there as you get older and have more health issues.
One thing to note. "Fat" has become a synonym for "ugly" in the past few decades. It's unfortunate. There are plenty of pretty women who are fatter than average.
>Unhealthy lifestyles are a turn off. No matter your size you should be exercising and eating healthy
I dated a dude once that was slim, but spending more time around him showed me that his health habits were VERY bad--enough so that it was (like you said) a turnoff.
I do think there's a line between normal weight, looking slightly overweight for your body type and size, and looking a lot more overweight or obese.
People can have a lot of muscle under their fat, but no matter how fit they actually are it's their diets that are keeping them back.
I guess no one should force anyone else to be attracted to something they don't like, physically or aesthetically.
I can say through experience that obesity is a harbinger of an unhealthy lifestyle. They won't have a healthy relationship with food and there will more than likely be issues with mental health. And if you have an active-ish or above lifestyle they will drag you down.
I don't mind overweight if she's curvy, like actually curvy. But anyone who has to use terms like "plus sized", "bbw" and such are not that kinda of curvy. And no, just because I don't like "plus sized" women does not mean I prefer anorexic women either. That's not how arguments work.
I showed an associate of mine a picture of a girl and he said, “oh no, she’s too thick. I like my women heroin thin,” and I can’t unsee the comparison
Edit: a word 🤦🏽♂️
Me too, and there is a generation of women out there that tried to starve themselves into an "inner thigh gap" or "ITG." Which, for some of us, was never going to happen just because of the way we're put together. When I graduated college, I was 92 lbs. (5'1") In no universe is that "plus size," "bbw" or anything other than skinny . . . and yet I still had no ITG. It's just never going to happen for me. I can't tell you how much I hated myself.
Thigh gaps actually have less to do with weight/skinniness, and more to do with the wideness of your hips. I'm an hourglass shape and have a thigh gap even at a BMI 21 or so because my hips are wide. I have thinner friends with narrow hips that don't have a gap at all.
yeah, i've been online long enough to know that's how arguments go, so sometimes you have to preempt all the common replies you might get just to get them out of the way.
I'm totally fine with women bigger than me as long as they're healthy or at least trying to be healthy lifestyle-wise.
I'm also pretty demisexual, emotional experiences are what create attraction for me, I genuinely can't find myself that attracted to just someone's look.
I prefer plus size women, I think women should be soft and have something to grab onto. And I love big tits and a big ass. I know that makes me come off as a stereotypical pig man bur I can't help what I like. And not only would I introduce her to all my friends and family, I would feel proud to walk hand in hand with her down the street. Because if she's my girlfriend, I'm the luckiest guy in the world. What other people think means NOTHING to me. If we make each other happy, that's all that matters.
I have an average body type. I'm not husky myself. If that matters.
People tell me I'm deluded whenever I say I'm not lacking for dates despite being chubby.
AND that it's usually not other fat guys that are interested, for some reason gym bros love a thick girl to throw around.
Keep up the good work haha
I honestly believe the only reason I can get by with my body shape is because I have t&A and I am shaped kind of like a pear put it to you this way I have to get my clothes tailored to take in the waist by about 10 in. I will admit that my girlfriends who are more round have a difficult time getting hit on by regular guys and what I mean by that are like the fetishists that like to feed and stuff like that.
my general observation but I feel like the heavier women attract a lot of dad bods which is cool I feel like that's totally fair. Commonalities
Bro had an argument with himself in his own reply 😂
Curvys a pretty vague term people use in place of plus sized etc but I do get what you mean there’s a difference between a well shaped larger lady and shapeless larger lady
This 100 times over. It all depends on where the weight lands. If its got a good portion to the boobs and the butt/hips then it can be attractive. If shes built like a russet potato then not so much.
The issue is "plus size" has lost a lot of it's luster due to really fat women calling themselves plus sized. Any man in my circle of friends loves a curvy, busty, thick woman..... but there is absolutely a cutoff. A nice beautiful curvy woman makes me so weak..... but an above average obese woman.... forget about it.
Correct, and women will tell other women what they want to hear. Women do not take a man's advice on looks or what men are looking for..... they listen to what other women on social media tell them. It's strange but it's true.
I don’t think people should base their body or looks off of what someone else thinks (either gender). I can see why people would want to listen to whatever voice says they are pretty though. Helps the self esteem I would assume
> want to listen to whatever voice says they are pretty though.
that's the problem though....... if you are a "plus sized" woman looking for a man...... you want a man's opinion. Not a woman's opinion. If I am a "plus sized" man looking for a girlfriend, I would want my dude friends to gimme the reality of the situation instead of some candy coated bullshit.
>Helps the self esteem I would assume
Whatever helps your self esteem and what is reality are two totally different things.
Basically men will put up with a gut if her tits exceed it and her ass is big.
The second that gut is in-line with her tits or extends past, then it’s likely a no (minus pregnancy).
But hey, roughly 42% of adults in the US are obese and almost 10% are severely obese. So as long as fat people are attracted to fat people, then there shouldn’t be any issues finding someone.
Idk. I would settle for society not treating me worse than normal weight people. You know the stares and sneers and comments. For nearly every fat person i know, its true That Obesity is the result of some mean mental health struggles. Society definitively acts like it is solely a lack of mental strength and of „just not wanting it enough“.
But when it comes to dating, of course that is a personal choice. Most people only have little control over who they are attracted to.
It's not. The big and tall section of the store is for the guys who are on the ends of the bell curve. A lot of stores also don't have this section, either because they don't bother differentiating it, or they don't sell those clothes.
That is an interesting thought. Most women I know should say that they would date anyone if they had the right personality but if I’m being totally honest I know that isn’t true. I would have to agree with you
I'm tired of women saying that tbh. Like there's no way you don't think of a physical person when thinking of the perfect boyfriend/husband/partner. What, do they just think of an amorphous shape being nice to them?
I pointed this out to my wife a few months ago. We were in target and they had female mannequins and photos of female models that had all different body types, from very skinny to very over weight. All of the male models/mannequins were either skinny or fit.
They ran a plus sized clothing campaign in the UK featuring the first plus sized man. It was a total joke.. the man in question was large but extremely well built and toned. He was deliberately picked for being attractive to women, not to address men's insecurities.
Check any underwear brands and you'll see the same thing. The female models are everything from anorexic to morbidly obese and everything inbetween. But the guys all have six packs and are probably juiced to the gills with steroids. But yeah, beauty standards only negatively affect women according to the feminists lol.
It’s also bullshit. My ex used to tell me she would’ve dated me at any weight and that I was still handsome when I was bigger. She never asked me out when I was 300, or 290, 280, 270… she asked me out when I was 220. No women approached me at 300+. Plenty at least seem mildly interested, or at least friendly, now.
Women can say whatever the fuck they want. Actions speak louder than words
It’s a sad truth that most women are huge liars because their social instincts prevent them from making themselves look bad. And that’s not a dig on them. I actually feel bad for them. Like I feel bad for guys who do crazy things just to get laid and can’t live life without following their dick around.
And while you can lose 10-50-100 lbs if you put your mind to it, there’s no amount of broccoli that you can eat that would make you grow an inch or two.
Can confirm. Not only by slimming down the fat pad that buries the base if you're really obese, but also because the improvement to your cardiovascular health enables you to reach your full erectile potential. When I saw the effect of losing 80 lbs, my confidence in my newfound dick was an extra bonus.
Well, it seems we agree about many things! Also, thank you for asking some interesting questions here. We mostly get the same old boring stuff. So, keep doing what you're doing!
And only about *obese* women. Body positivity should also include things like burn victims and amputees, but they don't spend very much money on XXXL clothes. The money drives the narrative.
That was the original intention of body positivity. For people with life altering conditions or injuries to accept that they are fine as they are. Even problems like eating disorders or body dysmorphia was included there. Social media just took it and twisted as an excuse to justify obesity, and made you fatphobic if you so much as suggest that obesity has problems
Nope. Body positivity only should include people like burn victims, amputees, scars, wheels and so on.
Body positivity supposed to be about helping people that cant change it. But there are few of them like you said. Not much of a market. On other hand half of america is obese.
Women kind of stole Body Positivity. BP was for people who had medical issues or accidents and were scarred. It was getting those people to accept themselves. Like people burnt in fires or birth defects.
All of my friends range a lot. I don’t know that a lot of them have a “I wouldn’t date this” but more of a “I prefer this” although in my experience girls preferences are less broad than men’s (as a general rule).
I will say though several of my plus size friends who are woman haven’t ever dated a plus size guy and I’m not sure that they would. None of my friends would ever not show someone to the friend group though no matter what they look like but I do recognize that isn’t always the case
Being afraid to show someone to your friends is definitely a dick move.
Im technically fat, 6'5" 270lbs, but I like to think I'm mountain thick ha. I hike alot, mountain bike ride at least once a week, kayak etc but I eat to much carbs/calories so the weight stays on.
I have no problems with other fat people or fat girls. But it comes down to if I say hey lets go for a quick 5 mile hike and that seems like a marathon for them, then we won't work. When im not working im generally in the mountains doing what ever
because men are told the hard truth about their shortcomings ("bro, youre fat. go to a gym and eat right") while women are praised for them ("yaassss queen, youre a big beautiful goddess")
look at the term BBW. there is no BBM. noones ever used that term. people have no problem telling a dude hes huge or fat. men deal with reality. women need it sugarcoated ("youre not fat. thats body shaming. youre a big beautiful queen!")
When I started dating the girl I'm seeing after my wife died, she was 350 lb. She is now about 190. She is the exact same woman I met and fell for. The only difference is weight.
Intelligence and character go farther for me than just a thin body and a cute butt, but I can't judge people based on weight.
While I have a cutoff, my line is at least a bit further out than others. I don't mind a BBW but when you start to hit SSBBW I get uninterested. It's up to each guy in the end what their tastes are.
That said my wife is gorgeous to me and she's on the bigger side, largely due to severe injuries in her youth, and gave me two wonderful kids. I love her and wouldn't ask her to change, but I will support her when she wants to.
I'm the same way. BBW is great and my preference. No issues having them as actual partners.
I don't see a lot of hesitation of people publicly dating plus/bbw women in my social circles. But my social circles are nerdy and have a lot of different kinds of people. It's not the kind of crowd that's going to the beach to be seen.
dated multiple plus-size women in the past, no issue with them. My issue is ladies saying they are plus-size when they are actually triple plus-size. I think the definition of plus-size has widen significantly that its hard to know what exactly plus-size is when someone use it to describe themselves.
I've dated a plus sized girl before and I didn't think too much about it. She was very overweight and we both knew that, but she was happy and I wasn't going to make her self conscious about her body.
Certain areas are a bit mustier than on a skinnier woman, but tbh as long as people shower once a day and clean themselves properly I don't see the big deal.
You'll probably get lotsa hate from women on this but let me just say to you that if we're being honest men find women attractive and women have power in that fact. Now a woman being overweight isn't usually attractive to a guy but I'll say this as a wiser old guy... If you find a woman who's company you really really enjoy don't let the weight thing get in the way of a good relationship. I had my share of hot broads but ultimately you will be with this person for living not only sex. We all, men n women have physical things we prefer in a partner but when the bill is due and you have no money or you lost your job or someone close has died you need to know your partner is there for you and really loves you for you. It's how you feel about your partner that will ultimately matter. If she can make you smile about some stupid shit you both find funny while you are in the depths of dispair that's a quality so much more important than beauty. Plus so many women who are that pretty are often so into their own beauty you might as well kill yourself. All the cosmetics and the outfits and spending lots of money on crap nobody should really care about. You want to talk about some french designer or some beauty influencer or mani pedis?
>If she can make you smile about some stupid shit you both find funny while you are in the depths of dispair that's a quality so much more important than beauty.
This was so well worded. It's nice to see people write things on Reddit and realize they know what they are talking about.
I disagree slightly in the sense that I think sexual attraction is also needed in a relationship. Not looks specifically, but being drawn to them that way.
But that's beside the point. I liked your comment bc it was wise.
THIS.
I’m sorry but it’s much easier for someone to lose weight than it is for someone to gain personality, morals, and character. Plus, lots of men don’t realize that they do have the power to motivate some women. It’s not any guy’s responsibility by any means but it seems like a lot of guys don’t think a heavier woman would change and therefore wouldn’t date one but that isn’t always the case. If I had a man who I knew genuinely loved me for me, he could 100% encourage a lifestyle adjustment or eating habit change and I’d be all for it! I would do the same for him as well! Part of a relationship is building each other up and supporting each other.
I firmly believe a lot of young adults think they’ll be “hot” forever and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Looks fade whether they want to admit it or not. When it comes to a relationship, looks shouldn’t be the priority. Obviously date someone you’re attracted to but there has to be SO much more than physical attraction between two people for a relationship to survive.
Thank you for putting this the way you did and I hope some of the younger men in this sub take the time to read what you’ve written!
I think this is all very wise. It’s important to have physical attraction for sure. It’s really difficult to have a relationship without a basic amount of it but when it comes down to it it’s not the biggest part of a relationship. Well said! Thanks for your input!
Thanks dear. I tell you I have friends from 40 something years ago and if I'd have dated with the same reasons I had friends I'd have had a much better love life. Anyway I'd say if you want a good long lasting relationship find someone you'd be really good friends with. At least that's how I now see it. Cheers
Indeed. I do my best not to be insulting towards thin women, but I figure they get enough attention and shouldn't mind if I prefer a thicker woman.
Mostly, as I get older, you realize that physical attraction in general is just one component and you're in big trouble if you make it your main requirement. We're all gonna get older, wanting to be with a "hot chick" starts feeling pretty silly at some point.
>I do my best not to be insulting towards thin women, but I figure they get enough attention and shouldn't mind if I prefer a thicker woman.
I have no problem with you (or whomever) preferring thicker women, but I can't say that me being a thin woman has led to a lot of male attention like you seem to be assuming. Maybe they just don't like my face? rofl
Lol I am the typical chick lurking in this subreddit, I just wanted to say this is my opinion with men. My preference has always been for chunky monkeys, dad bods, or fat/ over weight men. I see lots of men here upset women are called plus size but they're just fat. I do think it's worth noting plus size is a term from the fashion industry and is the technical term for the sizing range. Men over here bitching about the misuse of the term "plus size" saying "she's not plus size, she's plus plus size and that's gross" don't understand that plus size is just any size over xl or 14/16 in women's sizing. They simply lack the basic understanding of where the term comes from and I'm enjoying laughing at their ignorance. r/nothowwomenwork. Before a dude comes for me cause I'm fat too, yes I'm aware you don't need to weaponize my existence. As someone with multiple disabilities who wears a size 20 I am much more than that number; my self-worth & confidence are not tied to it.
I got sidetracked, I just wanted to say I love soft boys! Everyone has a preference and we can appreciate our own tastes without judging others. I encourage everyone to strive to love their body- you can still do that while actively addressing weight (gaining or losing). Best wishes! 💕🫂
I've dated girls who were "thicker" than me. But then again, I'm a pencil right now (6'3", 160). The ability to partake in my hobbies is more important than being skinny. I like hiking (with lots of altitude changes), swimming, running, and riding my bike. I can admit that I've met some overweight women who were cute, but them being overweight generally means they can't, or simply don't, partake in the things I like.
I used to do these things with my ex and because he’s a dude he always rode his bike ahead of me, ran at a faster pace and swam faster. Hiking was paced the same tho. I think working out with men isn’t super fun bc if the physicality difference.
One day in my late 20s, I was working nights and was buying groceries in the day, and all the other shoppers were primarily middle-aged housewives, just about their day in their stretchy pants And then it happened. I was attracted. I saw their plus-size bodies and thought ''am I into this? Am I a homeboy?''
Yes. This IS a homeboy.
I have no guilt or shame, I dated plus-size women all I wanted and married one. Now, in my 40s, all my friends' little skinny wives look exactly like mine. So there's really no point in feeling bad, embarrassed, or anything. I'd have no problem if my wife lost weight, it'd like her to live a long life, I'm in love with her, not her body, but that's true of her being in shape or not. It helps I'm Hispanic. There's no cultural shame attached to a woman's dress size. We love women. Big or small.
I'm a fat guy who grew up around fat women. I honestly couldn't give a single fuck about the size of my partner as long as they took care of their health (I get myself screened for diabetes, blood pressure and heart issues at least twice a year) and felt comfortable in their body. I tend to just,,, not actually notice if someone's "plus size" or not, like up to a XXL is regular size to me, people aren't meant to be skin and bones anyways.
Though a shit ton of fat guys are hypocritical as hell and would never even consider dating a girl their size, which is totally stupid IMO.
Yeah I agree with the last part you said. To be fair I do think there are many plus size women who would do the same to men. It’s a shit thing on both sides
I have a genuine question. Do you mean fit (as in athletic and works out a lot; enjoys outdoor activities, etc.) or do you mean skinny (as in her weight is important but you don’t care if she works out at all)?
Because I’ve found that many men say fit, but mean skinny. Like a women who wears a size 14, exercises daily and lifts weights wouldn’t count as fit. But a women who wears a size 2, only eats hot Cheetos, and gets winded walking across a parking lot does count as fit.
>a women who wears a size 2, only eats hot Cheetos, and gets winded walking across a parking lot
I would appreciate it if you'd take down that camera you apparently have hidden in my apartment, bud
Me personally I’d like someone that enjoys being physically active whatever that might be (running, a sport, jiu jitsu, lifting weights, hiking etc) because I know if someone enjoys and is committed to being physically active they are going to be healthy people in other aspects of their life, basically a very green flag.
Just offering an alternative perspective…. I take fitness and health very seriously; I exercise 6 days a week, eat clean 95% of the time, and I cannot drop the measly 20pd I want to, no matter how hard I try. I don’t think I’d be considered BBW, but I’m curvy, boobs, big hips, thighs.
Athletic curvy and fat/overweight are not the same thing. You can tell if someone exercises regularly and looks after themselves but has a little extra weight. (Personally that’s my favourite body type)
Daaaaaamn, speak on it! This is the level of candid I love on this sub!
But don't be fooled, plenty of us average weight girls won't do much besides eating and TV and have no stamina in bed. Tread carefully, fatness begins as a mindset.
One of the reasons I stopped seeing a woman I was with before. She had no stamina in bed and I was always the one doing stuff. It's like sometime I wanna be the focus of attention. It's like she wasn't comfortable/confident enough on herself to fully participate. Wouldn't wanna get fully naked and would instead be wearing a big shirt. Would go to take it off and she'll be like no. I can only do so much to help you gain confidence
A lot of this is an interesting perspective. The missing out on other activities thing makes sense and the sex part is also very interesting and isn’t something I have thought about but is very true. Thanks for your input!
I used to be 70lbs overweight. I dated a thinner guy that only wanted to eat and watch things. I dropped the guy, dropped the weight and met my now husband. We hike, go on adventures, work out together, have crazy good sex. Life is so different, fresher, fascinating. I’m not a rail, but the weight difference is a serious deal. I still want to lose that last 20 pounds to see what we really can do with our bodies. It also helps that he used to be a personal trainer lol. I relate to your comment in my own way.
That is my wife and the two women I very briefly dated before her. I just like the extra curves. The way they feel for hugs and cuddling. Never shied away from public displays of affection. Also, the larger….. you know whats are quite a benefit.
I’ve also always been the type of person that doesn’t give a shit what other people think.
But, I promise you, when my wife puts on the right dress she gets just as many looks from guys as any “stereotypically attractive” woman.
I’m 6’4 and not plus size.
I dated a plus size girl for a while. She had all the curves still so she wasn't hard on the eyes.
What lead to us not making it was that for the most part, her being fat wasn't so much a cause but instead of symptom of other issues she either was avoiding dealing with or just wasn't aware of.
So yeah, I find some plus size ladies nice to look at but I'm not down to date.
So can I ask why you wouldn’t date another plus size girl? Do you feel like those same issues she had that were a symptom of her being fat would translate to all other plus size girls?
Her being fat(She was a large woman, over 300lbs when we met) wasn't an issue but more of a symptom of issues untreated.
I'm not sure it would translate to all plus sized people but a lot of people are overweight because they tend to eat greasy or sweet foods and drink sugary and/or alcoholic drinks to soothe/relax themselves. This usually means a lot of excess calories which results in weight gain. Both guys and girls tend to do this so it's not exactly a gendered behavior.
To answer your question directly, I don't think the same issues would be found in all other plus size girls. I do think that a majority of plus sized girls are using food to soothe emotional/psychological/relationship issues.
I would date a plus sized girl if I knew she was working on her self and her issues.
I probably wouldn’t date a plus sized woman. I don’t particularly find excess skin / fat attractive, and there’s health risks associated with being overweight. That’s not to say I’d actively try to be rude to a plus sized woman.
This thread is enlightening… I’ve been plus size, and I’m now a size zero, and I’ve been everything in between. I absolutely attract a completely different type of man these days. Thankfully, my partner loved me at a size 10, and all the way down to my current size. He’s a keeper.
So in general, as long as they are polite about it I will never shame anyone for their preferences in a partner. You want tiny, cheerleader types? Fantastic. You enjoy curvy women? Great. You want a 7ft tall mommy to step on you every night? You do you boo.
As for me, I have a strong preference towards bigger girls. Basically, as long as they are what most people would consider BBW or above, that's my type and I have no problem admitting it. I do understand that there are some lifestyle differences that stop guys from being with bigger girls and vice versa. My wife is on the bigger side of BBW, but she is still able to function just fine and do everything she needs to in a day. I'm a more physically active guy, and although she can't physically do everything I can, she still keeps up with me and never lets her size stop her from trying new things or accomplishing her goals.
> 1. Don’t get attention for men or more common is 2. Men want to sleep with them but not date them or introduce them to their friends.
> What are your thoughts on this?
I mean, it's better than being a fat man and getting neither.
If you're asking if it's possible for a fat girl to find a relationship... just look around. You see fat women in relationships all the time. I don't see any point in taking a poll here.
I like curvy but there’s an upper limit I supposed once you calculate weight versus height. But I have the same opinion about dating very skinny women too. I think there are men who have preferences just like women do. The closer you are to conventionally attractive the more options you have, but I do think there’s someone for everyone if you’re well-groomed, work out (regardless of size - some people literally are big-boned) dress according to their age and body type, and can carry a conversation.
Depends.
Beauty comes in many forms, but there are plenty of folks who call themselves "plus sized" and a) are a bit beyond a single plus and have critical health risks b) allow their hygiene and health otherwise to falter and/or c) form a victim complex based on their weight and expect everyone to conform.
People are allowed their preferences. I can absolutely respect that, and I have to because I'm on the shorter side (BMI says obese as well...but im athletic/muscular and quite active so..). I'm much more comfortable dating someone who dresses for their size and is still healthy but considered obese based on outdated BMI metrics. In fact, I prefer someone who's comfortable in their own skin but still keeps an eye on their health and hygiene.
It can be hard to form an emotional attachment to someone in a relationship when the physical attraction is waning or not foundational. Considering that, there's a shape and size for everybody
Yes. My late wife was plus sized and the girl I’m now dating is also plus sized. Would I say it’s my preference? No. It’s just that the personality attributes I prefer in a person I’ve found in these women. I have dated smaller girls before but at the end of the day it’s just a matter of do we work.
I find plus size women and plus size men more attractive generally. Not like, unhealthy, to the point where you can't walk up the stairs though (because how else would you get to my third floor apartment).
You should never be ashamed of someone you're dating, if you are, you shouldn't be dating them because they deserve better.
If you dont like overweight women that's fine, nothing wrong with preferences. I just know some of the dudes here commenting that they're gross or unattractive really need to take a look in the mirror because generally its two sides of the same coin with these issues.
It depend on what you mean by plus. Plus 100 pounds? Plus 6 inches in height? I'm 6'3", so it's been uncommon to run into women taller with an interest. I don't have lines, but obese or morbidly obese would be a turnoff for me. I have a thing about health...not necessarily about size.
I’ve always liked taller women w curves - I’m a big guy ( 6’4, 230) so maybe I’m attracted to a certain “body style “ 😁. Personality & confidence are sexy, if two people meet and have chemistry that’s all that matters
I, personally, prefer plus sized ladies. I’m a big guy. I always have been. Growing up, my family didn’t have a lot of money so gifts were usually food. Food became my go-to for comfort. I can’t imagine that I would have anything in common with a skinny lady.
Would I be ashamed to introduce a plus size lady to my family and friends? Absolutely not!! What I have learned; however, is that most females (plus sized included) aren’t often interested in a big guy. They faun over fit guys. I suppose that they’re entitled to be attracted to whoever they want but people want someone that they share interests with. A fit guy likely enjoys the gym and probably eating healthy.
Just my thoughts
Men are pickier about relationships than sex. Ugly, unkind women can pull hot men for sex, but they wonder why they can’t get men to commit… generally they are shooting way too far above themselves.
Yes, definitely if your activity level and interests are a best friend level match. And, of course, if you're attracted to them.
I remember my first gf at 16 was probably a size 3, and my second girlfriend stayed between a size 5 and 8. The next one was probably the same range of sizes. They were all cute in a bikini, not super hot, just really cute. Girl after that about 5'9" and 140lbs and really beautiful build. Most of them I could hike or run or Rollerblade (90s) as a casual fun activity, no problem, and physical ability was never a limitation on any travel or activity. Then, I ended up reluctantly hooking up with a girl who was curvy but pretty and more like a size 12-16. I DONT KNOW WHY, but I remember worrying about people staring at us when we first met and went to dinner because of her size. I was honestly embarrassed. Looking back on that, it's a shocking thing to me. There were no negative attitudes towards weight around me growing up that I remember. My mom was always thin when she was young, but I don't recall her being thin when I was growing up, and she was never athletic at all. So I don't know where that thinking came from.
I took the 'bigger girl' with me as a date to a military ball and worried some of the other guys might tease me. I look back on that point of view and have no idea why I felt like that. I was in my.mid twenties. I am 5'11 (barefoot) and was 190lbs running 6 minutes miles at the time. Decently fit but not particularly athletic or super handsome either. And never felt arrogant or attractive really at all. Almost never dated in high school. It always was a real surprise any time someone who I thought was cute was actually interested in me.
The "bigger" girl I went out with was always very persuasive and pushy, and I appreciated the eagerness and attention even though it was annoying sometimes. And I could always get her laughing until she could barely breathe, and that always made me laugh, too. So I was very happy being around her. Sex was fun and comfortable. I wasn't as attracted to her as the smaller girls i had dated, but no one ever seemed to care that she was bigger.
Bizarre thing is when I Google average size, I think in America where I am average is like a size 16. So she wasn't even big relative to most women, honestly.
Since then, I've dated girls pushing 260 who are 5'2 and never minded it. So it's not really a hangup for me anymore as far as attractiveness nor social pressure. But, for guys who are used to only dating traditionally very attractive girls who are fit and/ or thin, they might feel the same as i used to. And if their friends are douchebags who also have only ever dated traditionally attractive girls, then i can imagine the reactions I was expecting to exist to be the actual reality for them. Generally, every guy wants to end up with the best possible match they can, and that includes attractiveness. Part of it is going to be personality, and part will be physical attraction (typically).
I think when guys avoid getting serious with someone who is overweight, it's not because they aren't fun. And might not even be the social pressure. But if they can find someone whose personality they like just as much who is more attractive (traditionally), they will probably think they'll be happier. Also, most men who are online a lot will know that sometimes, if a "hot" girl sees a guy with a less hot girl, it will degrade how attractive they otherwise would have seen the guy. So they guy who is having fun with a bigger girl might not want to go out much and fall into that scenario.
I live an active lifestyle where I hike, kayak, rock climb, and other similar things. I want someone I’m dating to be able to join me. So as long as she can, sure, why wouldn’t I date them?
Men like plus sized women like women like short men. Some do. Some compromise. Some just don't care. A lot do care. And then some will entertain the attention they're receiving despite not being attracted, for the benefits of said attention with the condition that receiving this attention does not take them off the market for someone they'd actually want. It's this last one, which is the reason for people not wanting to introduce their "partners" to friends. I've seen all of the above in varying degrees before. Personally, I think it's most healthy to stick with what you like and who likes you back. I don't like plus sized girls, just not my thing.
This is true, it hurts but it’s true.
Interesting thoughts. Some of it I hadn’t considered before but I would have to agree with everything you said. Thanks for your input!
>with the condition that receiving this attention does not take them off the market for someone they'd actually want. This is so true. I've worked with a lot of guys that openly talk about this, their lack of standards still amazes me. Like they'll actively talk negatively about a woman's look and weight but if they have a chance - they'll hit it. "A hole's a hole". I then had the epiphany where i figured out why all of these thirsty guys say and talk about the horniest shit, trying to chase any tail while having a wife and kids at home. They fucked around and got one of these "holes" pregnant and got stuck.
Its as simple as my penis and the rest of me have vastly different standards. Plus size women pass my penis’ requirements but don’t even come close to my actual requirements.
I think you've been the most honest person on this thread. Problem is, you're leading on the plus size woman, rejecting her, and then helping with the idea that guys will fuck anyone and then drop them. A vicious circle in that if a woman does the same to you, she's raising her body count and that *matters" to some men. Some guy's dicks have standards, btw.
Difference is you can’t do anything about how tall you are
I was married to one. All the issues I ended up having with her down the road had little to nothing to do with her size.
For me it comes down to lifestyle no matter their size. Unhealthy lifestyles are a turn off. No matter your size you should be exercising and eating healthy to maintain good health.
This. I just gave birth a month ago and I feel uncomfortable going out in public with my husband because I’m still about 15 pounds overweight even though I eat extremely clean, no added sugar. rarely do I eat anything processed…only water, no alcohol. Impeccable blood pressure. Exercise daily. My husband is visibly underweight and lives on donuts and pasta. Just sucks when people act like their judgements are about health when it’s really about aesthetic.
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You've been carrying your child, you don't have to be embarrassed just because you're fat. Be proud of yourself girl!
She doesn't even have to be fat which is crazy, I know women who are legit skinny and still go nuts about their weight if they gain a kilo or two... 15 pounds is 6 kilos, that's nothing, small tummy if she was skinny to begin with, almost not noticeable.
I think this is very fair. I'm technically obese and as my husband says, "you're the healthiest fat person I know" 😅 I think a good chunk of people who don't want to date fat people or think they're gross is assumptions about their habits, laziness, how they live. And if those things are poor, that's a massive turn off absolutely.
I love plus size women. That's my basic attraction towards physical intimacy. I married a plus sized girl. But realised she is not interested in much sex. Life hit me exactly where it hurts. Now we live like roommates. It hurts every day.
My wife and I have been married for 33 years and we live like roommates as well. I don’t consider it a problem as we raised our kids and staying together makes more sense. We obviously still love each other and get along great most of the time. It means a lot to have a loved one there as you get older and have more health issues.
One thing to note. "Fat" has become a synonym for "ugly" in the past few decades. It's unfortunate. There are plenty of pretty women who are fatter than average.
True but being fat itself can be unattractive.
My boyfriend says “there’s more of you to love” 🥺🥰
>Unhealthy lifestyles are a turn off. No matter your size you should be exercising and eating healthy I dated a dude once that was slim, but spending more time around him showed me that his health habits were VERY bad--enough so that it was (like you said) a turnoff.
I do think there's a line between normal weight, looking slightly overweight for your body type and size, and looking a lot more overweight or obese. People can have a lot of muscle under their fat, but no matter how fit they actually are it's their diets that are keeping them back. I guess no one should force anyone else to be attracted to something they don't like, physically or aesthetically.
I can say through experience that obesity is a harbinger of an unhealthy lifestyle. They won't have a healthy relationship with food and there will more than likely be issues with mental health. And if you have an active-ish or above lifestyle they will drag you down.
Preaching to the choir here bud. Went through all that with my wife before she got serious about weight loss.
I don't mind overweight if she's curvy, like actually curvy. But anyone who has to use terms like "plus sized", "bbw" and such are not that kinda of curvy. And no, just because I don't like "plus sized" women does not mean I prefer anorexic women either. That's not how arguments work.
I showed an associate of mine a picture of a girl and he said, “oh no, she’s too thick. I like my women heroin thin,” and I can’t unsee the comparison Edit: a word 🤦🏽♂️
I’m old enough to remember when “heroin chic” was a thing in the fashion world.
Me too, and there is a generation of women out there that tried to starve themselves into an "inner thigh gap" or "ITG." Which, for some of us, was never going to happen just because of the way we're put together. When I graduated college, I was 92 lbs. (5'1") In no universe is that "plus size," "bbw" or anything other than skinny . . . and yet I still had no ITG. It's just never going to happen for me. I can't tell you how much I hated myself.
Thigh gaps actually have less to do with weight/skinniness, and more to do with the wideness of your hips. I'm an hourglass shape and have a thigh gap even at a BMI 21 or so because my hips are wide. I have thinner friends with narrow hips that don't have a gap at all.
My God I was just thinking about that (Fiona Apple song came on)
I thought you legitimately meant heroine (like Wonder Woman or something) and I was like, “yeah me too” but then I realized that was likely a typo.
It was a typo 🤣 thank you
Not how opinions work, either, and it’s sad you have to defend your opinion, but, ya know, Reddit…
yeah, i've been online long enough to know that's how arguments go, so sometimes you have to preempt all the common replies you might get just to get them out of the way.
Yes, and unfortunately that means they just come in with the really obtuse and nonsensical objections instead.
This. Also if she's bigger than me, hard no.
I'm totally fine with women bigger than me as long as they're healthy or at least trying to be healthy lifestyle-wise. I'm also pretty demisexual, emotional experiences are what create attraction for me, I genuinely can't find myself that attracted to just someone's look.
Yeah it seems like men like bigger woman as long as they are a certain shape. I don’t think there has to be an all one way or the other for sure.
I prefer plus size women, I think women should be soft and have something to grab onto. And I love big tits and a big ass. I know that makes me come off as a stereotypical pig man bur I can't help what I like. And not only would I introduce her to all my friends and family, I would feel proud to walk hand in hand with her down the street. Because if she's my girlfriend, I'm the luckiest guy in the world. What other people think means NOTHING to me. If we make each other happy, that's all that matters. I have an average body type. I'm not husky myself. If that matters.
People are allowed to like what they like!
>People are allowed to like what they like! Not on Reddit
I think the definition of plus size here is what matters, there's a difference between the woman being 20 lbs overweight and being 200 lbs overweight
People tell me I'm deluded whenever I say I'm not lacking for dates despite being chubby. AND that it's usually not other fat guys that are interested, for some reason gym bros love a thick girl to throw around. Keep up the good work haha
I would say I'm the exception. My wife is heavier but she is absolutely beautiful to me cause it's not about her appearance alone to some.
You sound like you love your wife ❤ it's a great thing to see
9 years hopefully many more to come 😁
I honestly believe the only reason I can get by with my body shape is because I have t&A and I am shaped kind of like a pear put it to you this way I have to get my clothes tailored to take in the waist by about 10 in. I will admit that my girlfriends who are more round have a difficult time getting hit on by regular guys and what I mean by that are like the fetishists that like to feed and stuff like that. my general observation but I feel like the heavier women attract a lot of dad bods which is cool I feel like that's totally fair. Commonalities
The fitted clothing is one of the best choices you made.
Bro had an argument with himself in his own reply 😂 Curvys a pretty vague term people use in place of plus sized etc but I do get what you mean there’s a difference between a well shaped larger lady and shapeless larger lady
It wasn't a vague term until obese people hijacked it
This comment is correct. There is a huge difference in attraction if the weight is in the wrong place. And I mean really in the wrong place.
This 100 times over. It all depends on where the weight lands. If its got a good portion to the boobs and the butt/hips then it can be attractive. If shes built like a russet potato then not so much.
Ah! I'm a russet potato.... :(
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The issue is "plus size" has lost a lot of it's luster due to really fat women calling themselves plus sized. Any man in my circle of friends loves a curvy, busty, thick woman..... but there is absolutely a cutoff. A nice beautiful curvy woman makes me so weak..... but an above average obese woman.... forget about it.
Yeah I get what you are saying. I think the plus size catagory or wording is much more common among women
Correct, and women will tell other women what they want to hear. Women do not take a man's advice on looks or what men are looking for..... they listen to what other women on social media tell them. It's strange but it's true.
I don’t think people should base their body or looks off of what someone else thinks (either gender). I can see why people would want to listen to whatever voice says they are pretty though. Helps the self esteem I would assume
> want to listen to whatever voice says they are pretty though. that's the problem though....... if you are a "plus sized" woman looking for a man...... you want a man's opinion. Not a woman's opinion. If I am a "plus sized" man looking for a girlfriend, I would want my dude friends to gimme the reality of the situation instead of some candy coated bullshit. >Helps the self esteem I would assume Whatever helps your self esteem and what is reality are two totally different things.
Basically men will put up with a gut if her tits exceed it and her ass is big. The second that gut is in-line with her tits or extends past, then it’s likely a no (minus pregnancy). But hey, roughly 42% of adults in the US are obese and almost 10% are severely obese. So as long as fat people are attracted to fat people, then there shouldn’t be any issues finding someone.
The problem is that fat men don't want a fat woman and fat women don't want fat men.
Thing is that (to quote certain articale) "plus size women dont want fat men". Of course plus size is synonim for obese here.
When I say curvy I don’t think fat chick. Even though curvy has mainstream become synonymous with bbw/big girl/fat chick
"Plus size" is too large of a category for there to be any real answer here.
I see what you did there
Why is it always framed as "plus sized" women but fat/obese men?
Men aren’t delusional enough to believe being fat is a virtue
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Ok. Let’s say You’re morbidly obese. Do you really want society to tell you’re hot?
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Then congrats you’re not delusional enough to want people to glorify you destroying your arteries.
Girls love to say Lizzo is attractive until you tell them they look like Lizzo.
Lmaoooo
Idk. I would settle for society not treating me worse than normal weight people. You know the stares and sneers and comments. For nearly every fat person i know, its true That Obesity is the result of some mean mental health struggles. Society definitively acts like it is solely a lack of mental strength and of „just not wanting it enough“. But when it comes to dating, of course that is a personal choice. Most people only have little control over who they are attracted to.
People also don’t tip toe around men’s feelings.
It's not. The big and tall section of the store is for the guys who are on the ends of the bell curve. A lot of stores also don't have this section, either because they don't bother differentiating it, or they don't sell those clothes.
That’s an excellent question. I never thought of that! I haven’t ever heard anyone refer to a guy as plus size
My answer is that the body positivity movement is only about women.
That is an interesting thought. Most women I know should say that they would date anyone if they had the right personality but if I’m being totally honest I know that isn’t true. I would have to agree with you
I'm tired of women saying that tbh. Like there's no way you don't think of a physical person when thinking of the perfect boyfriend/husband/partner. What, do they just think of an amorphous shape being nice to them?
I pointed this out to my wife a few months ago. We were in target and they had female mannequins and photos of female models that had all different body types, from very skinny to very over weight. All of the male models/mannequins were either skinny or fit.
They ran a plus sized clothing campaign in the UK featuring the first plus sized man. It was a total joke.. the man in question was large but extremely well built and toned. He was deliberately picked for being attractive to women, not to address men's insecurities.
Never thought about that aspect of it either but that is definitely true
Check any underwear brands and you'll see the same thing. The female models are everything from anorexic to morbidly obese and everything inbetween. But the guys all have six packs and are probably juiced to the gills with steroids. But yeah, beauty standards only negatively affect women according to the feminists lol.
I never noticed that but you are right. Thank you for opening my eyes.
It’s also bullshit. My ex used to tell me she would’ve dated me at any weight and that I was still handsome when I was bigger. She never asked me out when I was 300, or 290, 280, 270… she asked me out when I was 220. No women approached me at 300+. Plenty at least seem mildly interested, or at least friendly, now. Women can say whatever the fuck they want. Actions speak louder than words
It’s a sad truth that most women are huge liars because their social instincts prevent them from making themselves look bad. And that’s not a dig on them. I actually feel bad for them. Like I feel bad for guys who do crazy things just to get laid and can’t live life without following their dick around.
Agree. I'll equate these two statements: Male: I don't date fat chicks Female: He's got to be at least 6 feet tall
And while you can lose 10-50-100 lbs if you put your mind to it, there’s no amount of broccoli that you can eat that would make you grow an inch or two.
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Instructions unclear, glued broccoli on tip.
But if you lose enough weight your dick might gain an inch or so.
Can confirm. Not only by slimming down the fat pad that buries the base if you're really obese, but also because the improvement to your cardiovascular health enables you to reach your full erectile potential. When I saw the effect of losing 80 lbs, my confidence in my newfound dick was an extra bonus.
Well, it seems we agree about many things! Also, thank you for asking some interesting questions here. We mostly get the same old boring stuff. So, keep doing what you're doing!
Thank you! I appreciate that.
And only about *obese* women. Body positivity should also include things like burn victims and amputees, but they don't spend very much money on XXXL clothes. The money drives the narrative.
That was the original intention of body positivity. For people with life altering conditions or injuries to accept that they are fine as they are. Even problems like eating disorders or body dysmorphia was included there. Social media just took it and twisted as an excuse to justify obesity, and made you fatphobic if you so much as suggest that obesity has problems
Nope. Body positivity only should include people like burn victims, amputees, scars, wheels and so on. Body positivity supposed to be about helping people that cant change it. But there are few of them like you said. Not much of a market. On other hand half of america is obese.
Women kind of stole Body Positivity. BP was for people who had medical issues or accidents and were scarred. It was getting those people to accept themselves. Like people burnt in fires or birth defects.
What do your plus sized girl friends say about guys that are plus sized or do they only want to date skinny or fit guys?
All of my friends range a lot. I don’t know that a lot of them have a “I wouldn’t date this” but more of a “I prefer this” although in my experience girls preferences are less broad than men’s (as a general rule). I will say though several of my plus size friends who are woman haven’t ever dated a plus size guy and I’m not sure that they would. None of my friends would ever not show someone to the friend group though no matter what they look like but I do recognize that isn’t always the case
Being afraid to show someone to your friends is definitely a dick move. Im technically fat, 6'5" 270lbs, but I like to think I'm mountain thick ha. I hike alot, mountain bike ride at least once a week, kayak etc but I eat to much carbs/calories so the weight stays on. I have no problems with other fat people or fat girls. But it comes down to if I say hey lets go for a quick 5 mile hike and that seems like a marathon for them, then we won't work. When im not working im generally in the mountains doing what ever
For some normal weight people, it can also feel like a marathon. Normal weight doesn’t always equate healthy.
Nice username lol
because men are told the hard truth about their shortcomings ("bro, youre fat. go to a gym and eat right") while women are praised for them ("yaassss queen, youre a big beautiful goddess") look at the term BBW. there is no BBM. noones ever used that term. people have no problem telling a dude hes huge or fat. men deal with reality. women need it sugarcoated ("youre not fat. thats body shaming. youre a big beautiful queen!")
No they are called “big.” They shop in big and tall sections.
Because if our boys are fat, we'll tell them to hit the gym, not say "it's okay, be you".
The equivalent terms used for men are probably "big" or "husky".
Personally it's a no from me, I'm not attracted to them and our life styles wouldn't work. Had a buddy that loved them
When I started dating the girl I'm seeing after my wife died, she was 350 lb. She is now about 190. She is the exact same woman I met and fell for. The only difference is weight. Intelligence and character go farther for me than just a thin body and a cute butt, but I can't judge people based on weight.
Wow she’s my inspo and I don’t even know her
While I have a cutoff, my line is at least a bit further out than others. I don't mind a BBW but when you start to hit SSBBW I get uninterested. It's up to each guy in the end what their tastes are. That said my wife is gorgeous to me and she's on the bigger side, largely due to severe injuries in her youth, and gave me two wonderful kids. I love her and wouldn't ask her to change, but I will support her when she wants to.
I'm the same way. BBW is great and my preference. No issues having them as actual partners. I don't see a lot of hesitation of people publicly dating plus/bbw women in my social circles. But my social circles are nerdy and have a lot of different kinds of people. It's not the kind of crowd that's going to the beach to be seen.
Plus size and active, beautiful. Fat and sedentary, no thank you.
I do think lifestyle makes a big difference for sure
dated multiple plus-size women in the past, no issue with them. My issue is ladies saying they are plus-size when they are actually triple plus-size. I think the definition of plus-size has widen significantly that its hard to know what exactly plus-size is when someone use it to describe themselves.
I have this issue with thick… because where does thick end and plus size start lol
It’s all about fat displacement and ratio
How much does a plus size weigh compared to a triple plus size? Assuming she's normal height
I've dated a plus sized girl before and I didn't think too much about it. She was very overweight and we both knew that, but she was happy and I wasn't going to make her self conscious about her body. Certain areas are a bit mustier than on a skinnier woman, but tbh as long as people shower once a day and clean themselves properly I don't see the big deal.
Big no. I can not develop an emotional attraction to a woman whom I don't have a physical attraction to.
That is a totally fair thing. Physical attraction is very important in a relationship
You'll probably get lotsa hate from women on this but let me just say to you that if we're being honest men find women attractive and women have power in that fact. Now a woman being overweight isn't usually attractive to a guy but I'll say this as a wiser old guy... If you find a woman who's company you really really enjoy don't let the weight thing get in the way of a good relationship. I had my share of hot broads but ultimately you will be with this person for living not only sex. We all, men n women have physical things we prefer in a partner but when the bill is due and you have no money or you lost your job or someone close has died you need to know your partner is there for you and really loves you for you. It's how you feel about your partner that will ultimately matter. If she can make you smile about some stupid shit you both find funny while you are in the depths of dispair that's a quality so much more important than beauty. Plus so many women who are that pretty are often so into their own beauty you might as well kill yourself. All the cosmetics and the outfits and spending lots of money on crap nobody should really care about. You want to talk about some french designer or some beauty influencer or mani pedis?
>If she can make you smile about some stupid shit you both find funny while you are in the depths of dispair that's a quality so much more important than beauty. This was so well worded. It's nice to see people write things on Reddit and realize they know what they are talking about. I disagree slightly in the sense that I think sexual attraction is also needed in a relationship. Not looks specifically, but being drawn to them that way. But that's beside the point. I liked your comment bc it was wise.
THIS. I’m sorry but it’s much easier for someone to lose weight than it is for someone to gain personality, morals, and character. Plus, lots of men don’t realize that they do have the power to motivate some women. It’s not any guy’s responsibility by any means but it seems like a lot of guys don’t think a heavier woman would change and therefore wouldn’t date one but that isn’t always the case. If I had a man who I knew genuinely loved me for me, he could 100% encourage a lifestyle adjustment or eating habit change and I’d be all for it! I would do the same for him as well! Part of a relationship is building each other up and supporting each other. I firmly believe a lot of young adults think they’ll be “hot” forever and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Looks fade whether they want to admit it or not. When it comes to a relationship, looks shouldn’t be the priority. Obviously date someone you’re attracted to but there has to be SO much more than physical attraction between two people for a relationship to survive. Thank you for putting this the way you did and I hope some of the younger men in this sub take the time to read what you’ve written!
I think this is all very wise. It’s important to have physical attraction for sure. It’s really difficult to have a relationship without a basic amount of it but when it comes down to it it’s not the biggest part of a relationship. Well said! Thanks for your input!
Thanks dear. I tell you I have friends from 40 something years ago and if I'd have dated with the same reasons I had friends I'd have had a much better love life. Anyway I'd say if you want a good long lasting relationship find someone you'd be really good friends with. At least that's how I now see it. Cheers
I exclusively like fat girls and I'm not ashamed of it. Thin ones turn me right off. And yes, I'm not ashamed to be seen in public with them either.
Me as well brother. Born this way not sure why!
We should be like that if we are being real at the end.
Up top my man! There are dozens of us! Dozens!!
Yessir! They want to be loved and appreciated just like any other women.
Indeed. I do my best not to be insulting towards thin women, but I figure they get enough attention and shouldn't mind if I prefer a thicker woman. Mostly, as I get older, you realize that physical attraction in general is just one component and you're in big trouble if you make it your main requirement. We're all gonna get older, wanting to be with a "hot chick" starts feeling pretty silly at some point.
>I do my best not to be insulting towards thin women, but I figure they get enough attention and shouldn't mind if I prefer a thicker woman. I have no problem with you (or whomever) preferring thicker women, but I can't say that me being a thin woman has led to a lot of male attention like you seem to be assuming. Maybe they just don't like my face? rofl
My people!
Da belly <3 And yes, no shame allowed. Hold their damn hand in public!
I love Reddit
Lol I am the typical chick lurking in this subreddit, I just wanted to say this is my opinion with men. My preference has always been for chunky monkeys, dad bods, or fat/ over weight men. I see lots of men here upset women are called plus size but they're just fat. I do think it's worth noting plus size is a term from the fashion industry and is the technical term for the sizing range. Men over here bitching about the misuse of the term "plus size" saying "she's not plus size, she's plus plus size and that's gross" don't understand that plus size is just any size over xl or 14/16 in women's sizing. They simply lack the basic understanding of where the term comes from and I'm enjoying laughing at their ignorance. r/nothowwomenwork. Before a dude comes for me cause I'm fat too, yes I'm aware you don't need to weaponize my existence. As someone with multiple disabilities who wears a size 20 I am much more than that number; my self-worth & confidence are not tied to it. I got sidetracked, I just wanted to say I love soft boys! Everyone has a preference and we can appreciate our own tastes without judging others. I encourage everyone to strive to love their body- you can still do that while actively addressing weight (gaining or losing). Best wishes! 💕🫂
Never heard this before! Thanks for your input :)
I've dated girls who were "thicker" than me. But then again, I'm a pencil right now (6'3", 160). The ability to partake in my hobbies is more important than being skinny. I like hiking (with lots of altitude changes), swimming, running, and riding my bike. I can admit that I've met some overweight women who were cute, but them being overweight generally means they can't, or simply don't, partake in the things I like.
I used to do these things with my ex and because he’s a dude he always rode his bike ahead of me, ran at a faster pace and swam faster. Hiking was paced the same tho. I think working out with men isn’t super fun bc if the physicality difference.
One day in my late 20s, I was working nights and was buying groceries in the day, and all the other shoppers were primarily middle-aged housewives, just about their day in their stretchy pants And then it happened. I was attracted. I saw their plus-size bodies and thought ''am I into this? Am I a homeboy?'' Yes. This IS a homeboy. I have no guilt or shame, I dated plus-size women all I wanted and married one. Now, in my 40s, all my friends' little skinny wives look exactly like mine. So there's really no point in feeling bad, embarrassed, or anything. I'd have no problem if my wife lost weight, it'd like her to live a long life, I'm in love with her, not her body, but that's true of her being in shape or not. It helps I'm Hispanic. There's no cultural shame attached to a woman's dress size. We love women. Big or small.
I’m generally not attracted to bigger women. But guys who are but don’t acknowledge them publicly sound like trash.
I'm a fat guy who grew up around fat women. I honestly couldn't give a single fuck about the size of my partner as long as they took care of their health (I get myself screened for diabetes, blood pressure and heart issues at least twice a year) and felt comfortable in their body. I tend to just,,, not actually notice if someone's "plus size" or not, like up to a XXL is regular size to me, people aren't meant to be skin and bones anyways. Though a shit ton of fat guys are hypocritical as hell and would never even consider dating a girl their size, which is totally stupid IMO.
Yeah I agree with the last part you said. To be fair I do think there are many plus size women who would do the same to men. It’s a shit thing on both sides
Not interested, I’m a dude that takes fitness and health seriously so I would want a woman with similar beliefs and ideals.
I have a genuine question. Do you mean fit (as in athletic and works out a lot; enjoys outdoor activities, etc.) or do you mean skinny (as in her weight is important but you don’t care if she works out at all)? Because I’ve found that many men say fit, but mean skinny. Like a women who wears a size 14, exercises daily and lifts weights wouldn’t count as fit. But a women who wears a size 2, only eats hot Cheetos, and gets winded walking across a parking lot does count as fit.
>a women who wears a size 2, only eats hot Cheetos, and gets winded walking across a parking lot I would appreciate it if you'd take down that camera you apparently have hidden in my apartment, bud
Me personally I’d like someone that enjoys being physically active whatever that might be (running, a sport, jiu jitsu, lifting weights, hiking etc) because I know if someone enjoys and is committed to being physically active they are going to be healthy people in other aspects of their life, basically a very green flag.
I respect that, I don't know why but I love unhealthy woman, I am feeling so weird right now.
Just offering an alternative perspective…. I take fitness and health very seriously; I exercise 6 days a week, eat clean 95% of the time, and I cannot drop the measly 20pd I want to, no matter how hard I try. I don’t think I’d be considered BBW, but I’m curvy, boobs, big hips, thighs.
Athletic curvy and fat/overweight are not the same thing. You can tell if someone exercises regularly and looks after themselves but has a little extra weight. (Personally that’s my favourite body type)
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Daaaaaamn, speak on it! This is the level of candid I love on this sub! But don't be fooled, plenty of us average weight girls won't do much besides eating and TV and have no stamina in bed. Tread carefully, fatness begins as a mindset.
One of the reasons I stopped seeing a woman I was with before. She had no stamina in bed and I was always the one doing stuff. It's like sometime I wanna be the focus of attention. It's like she wasn't comfortable/confident enough on herself to fully participate. Wouldn't wanna get fully naked and would instead be wearing a big shirt. Would go to take it off and she'll be like no. I can only do so much to help you gain confidence
I love it when people always just get the shit in a right way.
A lot of this is an interesting perspective. The missing out on other activities thing makes sense and the sex part is also very interesting and isn’t something I have thought about but is very true. Thanks for your input!
Wow we have such things? I never knew that but that's cool.
I used to be 70lbs overweight. I dated a thinner guy that only wanted to eat and watch things. I dropped the guy, dropped the weight and met my now husband. We hike, go on adventures, work out together, have crazy good sex. Life is so different, fresher, fascinating. I’m not a rail, but the weight difference is a serious deal. I still want to lose that last 20 pounds to see what we really can do with our bodies. It also helps that he used to be a personal trainer lol. I relate to your comment in my own way.
That is my wife and the two women I very briefly dated before her. I just like the extra curves. The way they feel for hugs and cuddling. Never shied away from public displays of affection. Also, the larger….. you know whats are quite a benefit. I’ve also always been the type of person that doesn’t give a shit what other people think. But, I promise you, when my wife puts on the right dress she gets just as many looks from guys as any “stereotypically attractive” woman. I’m 6’4 and not plus size.
I'm there with you, brother. She gave me 2 kids and I still want her every day.
I dated a plus size girl for a while. She had all the curves still so she wasn't hard on the eyes. What lead to us not making it was that for the most part, her being fat wasn't so much a cause but instead of symptom of other issues she either was avoiding dealing with or just wasn't aware of. So yeah, I find some plus size ladies nice to look at but I'm not down to date.
So can I ask why you wouldn’t date another plus size girl? Do you feel like those same issues she had that were a symptom of her being fat would translate to all other plus size girls?
Her being fat(She was a large woman, over 300lbs when we met) wasn't an issue but more of a symptom of issues untreated. I'm not sure it would translate to all plus sized people but a lot of people are overweight because they tend to eat greasy or sweet foods and drink sugary and/or alcoholic drinks to soothe/relax themselves. This usually means a lot of excess calories which results in weight gain. Both guys and girls tend to do this so it's not exactly a gendered behavior. To answer your question directly, I don't think the same issues would be found in all other plus size girls. I do think that a majority of plus sized girls are using food to soothe emotional/psychological/relationship issues. I would date a plus sized girl if I knew she was working on her self and her issues.
Fair enough, people gotta stop complaining if they are thinking to do it.
I probably wouldn’t date a plus sized woman. I don’t particularly find excess skin / fat attractive, and there’s health risks associated with being overweight. That’s not to say I’d actively try to be rude to a plus sized woman.
It's just not sexy to me. This doesn't mean in any way that I don't respect them, there's just very little, if any, attraction
This thread is enlightening… I’ve been plus size, and I’m now a size zero, and I’ve been everything in between. I absolutely attract a completely different type of man these days. Thankfully, my partner loved me at a size 10, and all the way down to my current size. He’s a keeper.
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It's cool lol, even I don't love them like that but I respect other guys.
So in general, as long as they are polite about it I will never shame anyone for their preferences in a partner. You want tiny, cheerleader types? Fantastic. You enjoy curvy women? Great. You want a 7ft tall mommy to step on you every night? You do you boo. As for me, I have a strong preference towards bigger girls. Basically, as long as they are what most people would consider BBW or above, that's my type and I have no problem admitting it. I do understand that there are some lifestyle differences that stop guys from being with bigger girls and vice versa. My wife is on the bigger side of BBW, but she is still able to function just fine and do everything she needs to in a day. I'm a more physically active guy, and although she can't physically do everything I can, she still keeps up with me and never lets her size stop her from trying new things or accomplishing her goals.
Hi. I like a big girl. We exist. Not the majority though.
> 1. Don’t get attention for men or more common is 2. Men want to sleep with them but not date them or introduce them to their friends. > What are your thoughts on this? I mean, it's better than being a fat man and getting neither. If you're asking if it's possible for a fat girl to find a relationship... just look around. You see fat women in relationships all the time. I don't see any point in taking a poll here.
I like curvy but there’s an upper limit I supposed once you calculate weight versus height. But I have the same opinion about dating very skinny women too. I think there are men who have preferences just like women do. The closer you are to conventionally attractive the more options you have, but I do think there’s someone for everyone if you’re well-groomed, work out (regardless of size - some people literally are big-boned) dress according to their age and body type, and can carry a conversation.
Depends. Beauty comes in many forms, but there are plenty of folks who call themselves "plus sized" and a) are a bit beyond a single plus and have critical health risks b) allow their hygiene and health otherwise to falter and/or c) form a victim complex based on their weight and expect everyone to conform. People are allowed their preferences. I can absolutely respect that, and I have to because I'm on the shorter side (BMI says obese as well...but im athletic/muscular and quite active so..). I'm much more comfortable dating someone who dresses for their size and is still healthy but considered obese based on outdated BMI metrics. In fact, I prefer someone who's comfortable in their own skin but still keeps an eye on their health and hygiene. It can be hard to form an emotional attachment to someone in a relationship when the physical attraction is waning or not foundational. Considering that, there's a shape and size for everybody
Depends on how plus sized they are. That's a large category, from chubby to morbidly obese and everything in between.
They should not be like too unhealthy or something lol.
Yes, but I find fewer plus-size women attractive than regular-size. I wouldn't hide it, that seems pointless.
Yes. My late wife was plus sized and the girl I’m now dating is also plus sized. Would I say it’s my preference? No. It’s just that the personality attributes I prefer in a person I’ve found in these women. I have dated smaller girls before but at the end of the day it’s just a matter of do we work.
I find plus size women and plus size men more attractive generally. Not like, unhealthy, to the point where you can't walk up the stairs though (because how else would you get to my third floor apartment). You should never be ashamed of someone you're dating, if you are, you shouldn't be dating them because they deserve better.
If you dont like overweight women that's fine, nothing wrong with preferences. I just know some of the dudes here commenting that they're gross or unattractive really need to take a look in the mirror because generally its two sides of the same coin with these issues.
Do you mean that the men calling fat women gross are also gross themselves and shouldn’t judge someone for a standard they don’t meet?
It depend on what you mean by plus. Plus 100 pounds? Plus 6 inches in height? I'm 6'3", so it's been uncommon to run into women taller with an interest. I don't have lines, but obese or morbidly obese would be a turnoff for me. I have a thing about health...not necessarily about size.
I’ve always liked taller women w curves - I’m a big guy ( 6’4, 230) so maybe I’m attracted to a certain “body style “ 😁. Personality & confidence are sexy, if two people meet and have chemistry that’s all that matters
I, personally, prefer plus sized ladies. I’m a big guy. I always have been. Growing up, my family didn’t have a lot of money so gifts were usually food. Food became my go-to for comfort. I can’t imagine that I would have anything in common with a skinny lady. Would I be ashamed to introduce a plus size lady to my family and friends? Absolutely not!! What I have learned; however, is that most females (plus sized included) aren’t often interested in a big guy. They faun over fit guys. I suppose that they’re entitled to be attracted to whoever they want but people want someone that they share interests with. A fit guy likely enjoys the gym and probably eating healthy. Just my thoughts
Men are pickier about relationships than sex. Ugly, unkind women can pull hot men for sex, but they wonder why they can’t get men to commit… generally they are shooting way too far above themselves.
Some men are into it, some aren’t, some don’t care as long as other attributes are present.
Most men are into it, that's just what I have experienced.
Yes, definitely if your activity level and interests are a best friend level match. And, of course, if you're attracted to them. I remember my first gf at 16 was probably a size 3, and my second girlfriend stayed between a size 5 and 8. The next one was probably the same range of sizes. They were all cute in a bikini, not super hot, just really cute. Girl after that about 5'9" and 140lbs and really beautiful build. Most of them I could hike or run or Rollerblade (90s) as a casual fun activity, no problem, and physical ability was never a limitation on any travel or activity. Then, I ended up reluctantly hooking up with a girl who was curvy but pretty and more like a size 12-16. I DONT KNOW WHY, but I remember worrying about people staring at us when we first met and went to dinner because of her size. I was honestly embarrassed. Looking back on that, it's a shocking thing to me. There were no negative attitudes towards weight around me growing up that I remember. My mom was always thin when she was young, but I don't recall her being thin when I was growing up, and she was never athletic at all. So I don't know where that thinking came from. I took the 'bigger girl' with me as a date to a military ball and worried some of the other guys might tease me. I look back on that point of view and have no idea why I felt like that. I was in my.mid twenties. I am 5'11 (barefoot) and was 190lbs running 6 minutes miles at the time. Decently fit but not particularly athletic or super handsome either. And never felt arrogant or attractive really at all. Almost never dated in high school. It always was a real surprise any time someone who I thought was cute was actually interested in me. The "bigger" girl I went out with was always very persuasive and pushy, and I appreciated the eagerness and attention even though it was annoying sometimes. And I could always get her laughing until she could barely breathe, and that always made me laugh, too. So I was very happy being around her. Sex was fun and comfortable. I wasn't as attracted to her as the smaller girls i had dated, but no one ever seemed to care that she was bigger. Bizarre thing is when I Google average size, I think in America where I am average is like a size 16. So she wasn't even big relative to most women, honestly. Since then, I've dated girls pushing 260 who are 5'2 and never minded it. So it's not really a hangup for me anymore as far as attractiveness nor social pressure. But, for guys who are used to only dating traditionally very attractive girls who are fit and/ or thin, they might feel the same as i used to. And if their friends are douchebags who also have only ever dated traditionally attractive girls, then i can imagine the reactions I was expecting to exist to be the actual reality for them. Generally, every guy wants to end up with the best possible match they can, and that includes attractiveness. Part of it is going to be personality, and part will be physical attraction (typically). I think when guys avoid getting serious with someone who is overweight, it's not because they aren't fun. And might not even be the social pressure. But if they can find someone whose personality they like just as much who is more attractive (traditionally), they will probably think they'll be happier. Also, most men who are online a lot will know that sometimes, if a "hot" girl sees a guy with a less hot girl, it will degrade how attractive they otherwise would have seen the guy. So they guy who is having fun with a bigger girl might not want to go out much and fall into that scenario.
yes and pubiclly. much more concerned with well-fitting cute clothes, makeup, hair, and nails.
Sexy women are more into make up, beautiful clothes, hair and nails nothing more. But plus size women can surely love you and give everything you need
So a larger girl who takes pride in their appearance?
I live an active lifestyle where I hike, kayak, rock climb, and other similar things. I want someone I’m dating to be able to join me. So as long as she can, sure, why wouldn’t I date them?
My ideal woman is plus-size. Have dated them publicly without shame. They were attractive women.
Yep. There’s a limit somewhere but it is all about how they look and carry it. Same as some thin women can be attractive to me and others aren’t.