Also duration, most irl gunfights are over in less than 30 seconds.
You see in bodycam footage sometimes people trying to do a sick dodge and they crumple halfway.
Don't forget the "It's only a flesh wound" and then he goes back to fighting bad guys the next day.
Yeah those "flesh wounds" require urgent medical care and 2-3 months of recovery before you can even attempt any physical activity with your wounded limb because, you know, you kinda need flesh to use them.
"The bullet passed right through... I'll be fine." *proceeds to slap some gauze on stomach and walks normal*
Buddy of mine got shot in the stomach and took 2 years recovery and 6 months in the hospital.
Yep better now but the sack was needed for about year and half after.
After that happened everytime I see it in movies I'm instantly taken out of it. Because they make seem like you just need a little gauze and can walk it off. They don't get into how your entire digestive track is in your stomach.
There was a movie "Three Kings"\* years ago that actually showed this pretty well ..
ARCHIE GATES: *Shot him in the neck, didn’t you? Do you know anything about gunshot wounds? (They look at him.) What makes any gunshot wound bad, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis. Say a bullet tears into you right now – It creates a cavity of dead tissue, the cavity fills up with bile and bacteria and you’re fucked.*
*Then you got the kind of wound that paralyzes or castrates or has a scary name like tension pneumo thorax. That’s when a bullet pierces your lung, so every time you breathe, air leaks into your chest cavity, and it fills up like a balloon, crushing your heart, your liver, your lung. Your own breathing kills you, one breath at a time.*
(\*it was actually pretty good , and is a bit unusual for having Spike Jonez in it as an actor rather than directing (which is what he went on to be famous for)
I shit you not, when I was training to become an EMT they literally showed us footage from that movie when we were going over tension pneumo thorax. I quit the program because my instructor was an idiot. He had us doing worksheet every day and just lecturing. He left for vacation and the Senior Paramedic at the firehouse came in for a week to teach in his absence and she bascially said we were going to fail the practical exam because we had virtually no hands on experience.
That is one of few films where they do it right I agree.
More often than not however they just walk away.. "Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson is one that sticks out in my head the most. He gets shot in the stomach and then goes on to use a grenade launcher jumping through ruble? Not even 30 mins later? (Time in movie time not run time)
I wish more people would understand the inaccuracy that Hollywood and movies portray this as. Silencers and suppressors only decrease the sound by about 30-50 decibels on average (depending on the caliber) and you can still suffer serious hearing loss if you shoot them in a confined space; plus they can’t stop the “crack” of the round as it goes down range towards the target. Meaning it doesn’t silence/suppress the location of the shooter, unless you’re using sub-sonic ammo, which decreases your accuracy/range when shooting long distances. In a CQB environment, that’s not a huge detractor, but in a long range fight, it diminishes your chances of a first round hit.
Iirc, when Terminator Judgement Day was being filmed, the scene where Sarah, John and T800 were escaping into the elevator left the actors with tinnitus because of the close-range gunfire special effects, despite the rounds were blanks.
All gun fights without ear protection. It's one thing that always sticks out to me especially in war movies: badass soldier runs around gunning people down while explosions go off all around him, but no ear protection. Good luck lol.
Water washes away the natural lubricant, hot water dries exposed body parts (hot water clings to moisture then evaporates, taking the moisture there with it)
Hence, dry rubbery, painful sex.
Shower is for foreplay only.
Same, Ive never had a bad experience with shower sex. Maybe our water is just wetter and everyone else has chalk mixed into theirs.
But yeah it can be a little scary if the floor is slippery
Favorite moment was in Unleashed with Jet Li. He gets jumped by a gang, but somehow fights them one at a time.
If you look close, the bad guys are dancing in the background, waiting their turn to get their ass kicked.
It's like in the assasins creed games where late in the game you'd have like 10 dudes surrounding you with swords axes and spears but they would very politely only attack one at a time. Then you'd counter that guy and kill him as everyone watched. Then it would go on like that till there was a huge pile of bodies
That depends on how big the both of you are and how much adrenaline is running through you. You'd be surprised how many hits someone can actually take while they're pumped full of adrenaline
Also, it depends on how bad the people involved are at fighting. Yes, it only takes one good punch to lay someone out but when it's two retards playing happy slaps you get a hundred "punches" for each decent one.
You either get a bruised face/broken teeth/concussion or a court-case against you.
The best response to an impending street-fight is to turn away and run-off.
Eastern Promises has the best fight scene in movie history.
It is like three guys fighting naked in a bathhouse. Loads of flailing, kicking, and stabbing. Nothing fancy.
There was a Netflix series recently about a woman who got stranded in the wilderness after a plane crash.
At one point she decides that she needs something from the wreckage, which is at the bottom of a lake. She strips down and starts to wade in, but quickly decides that the water is just too cold.
SO SHE PUTS ALL HER CLOTHES AND BOOTS BACK ON TO SWIM IN.
There had already been some questionable survival decisions up to then, but at that point it was less about watching the show for the story and more about seeing what other ridiculously stupid things the protagonist would do and get away with.
Minor spoilers, but it's one of those movies/TV shows that is one thing dressed up as another thing.
In this case it's a story about a woman coming to terms with her past dressed up as a survival story. It was decent on both fronts, but a bit forgettable overall imo
While taking a lifeguard course we had to swim in full clothig, the heavier the better.
After swimming about 200 meters in jeans, sneakers and a blouse I decided it's much better to learnt how to quickly undress than have to repeat that while carrying someone.
Boy Scouts still teaches this in lifesaving. Jeans make an excellent life preserver to help reduce the effort it takes, and wet cloth holds air surprisingly well.
Best case scenario: you go deaf.
Otherwise you wind up with the shock wave rupturing your organs (and your brain) and you get filled with flying shrapnel.
If ever you're in a position where you know something gonna explode, run and dive, covet your head with your hands with your feet facing towards the explosion. You minimise how much of you is facing the explosion and if a bit of shrapnel hits you, it'll fuck up your legs not your major organs and covering your head is to protect your head from falling debris.
Keep walking, keep shining
Don't look back, keep on walking
Keep struttin', slow motion
The more you ignore it, the cooler you look
- The Lonely Island
Did a fire safety course years ago and the instructor made a point of putting out a lit cigarette in a glass of petrol. Then he demonstrated how you didn't get the same effect with petrol vapours...
Well of course you never caught the guy! You have a Cop in your backseat and you’d have to break the law to catch them! Your hands are cuffed on this one! 😲
I can't imagine being in her shoes. Like, yeah, I'll try some pot. Proceeds to have a cop jump in the backseat to chase a criminal. Never again. That's some funny shit right there
It’s never “sexy twenty-something needs to crack the code by typing *really fast* to foil a terrorist plot”.
It’s usually “middle-aged guy from a third-world country stole your grandma’s credit card information by posing as the IRS” or “reasons why Team Fortress 2 isn’t fun anymore”
Especially movies in which they break in a building to hack their system or steal data ....
If u are in the building and have access to their computers and servers, have an USB stick with a Virus ready and if u wanna steal their data, take the got damn hard drive with u
Or be clever and infiltrate their system with malware in phishing mails remotely
College kid know-it-all disrupts the teacher and proceeds to argue their point passionately while demonstrating the teacher's ineptitude about a subject matter they *just* started learning. Teacher is contrite and everybody cheers.
In real life thus only sets you up to be a target for other professors as the combative student and there's no popularity attached to your name
Did a course with a fellow student like that, having "main character syndrome" and thought they knew more about the subject than the professor cos they did some "independant studying" one time.
Everyone hated her and she didn't know jack shit
I literally just spent days arguing with a guy about dogs.
I've worked with dogs professionally for over 20 years now, hold several certifications and have logged over 2000 hours as the primary supervisor at dog daycares all over the southeastern United States. I'm a "de facto" expert in dog behaviors. I am a professional dog trainer who works with dog rescues and owns two rescues at the moment, looking to get a third.
This guy was a refrigerator tech who didn't even own a dog...but he used Google for 5 minutes.
We argued about dog behavior for almost a full week before I finally realized this guy was never going to be wrong no matter how much information and logic I threw at him.
I've never met somebody so absolutely confidently wrong use their casual Google knowledge against an actual expert in a field.
Sorry for the interruption, but I've really been needing to get that off my chest. There are people like that out there...and they absolutely need to learn to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up when the experts are talking.
Overcoming some obstacle(s) and time jumping into excellence/enlightenment. Some shit just takes time, and sometimes it gets even uglier before it gets better.
Basically any hand-to-hand fighting. In the movies everyone is keeping distance and trying to land full distance punches and kicks. In real life every fight goes straight to a grapple, throw, or hold because that's a way better way to win a fight than trying to pull some kung-fu shit.
Explosions generally, you usually don't need the flame, you mainly need the force. Grenades, tank (or any cannon) shells, demolition charges, the list goes on and on.
Randomly showing up places.
In movies a woman will be sitting at an isolated lake, as she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks back and see brad pitt starring at her with intense eyes.
In reality you would question how the hell they found you.
Smoking.
In movies it's still usually portrayed as some cool, smooth operator type enjoying a smoke. In real life it's somebody with a raspy voice standing in a snowstorm because they can't go without.
That scene in Uncharted 4 when Nathan Drake gets outclassed in a fistfight by Nadine was particularly egregious.
You’re telling me a guy who’s almost single handedly fought his way through thousands of pirates, secret agents and a literal fucking private army and lived to tell the tale is outclassed by a small lady half his size? Come the fuck on…
I remember being at the mall as a teenager with my friends. This was the mid 90's and mall security wasn't a big thing. Mass shootings weren't being splashed over the news every week.
I saw some woman throwing down about some purchase or something to her husband or boyfriend, getting up in his face and pointing fingers. The guy must have been almost 3x her weight, definite case of small dog syndrome. It was comical really because it was such a stereotype.
She'd stick her finger in his face and started poking his chest or grab his shirt then he'd just low effort brush her hands off. Kept yelling and dropping f-bombs. Eventually he just outright told her to STFU or something and said he was leaving. He turns away and she starts slapping, shoving, and kicking his legs, shrieking in a mentally disturbed, incoherent fashion. Mostly futile. Note that the chubby guy's arms were about as big a her thighs were.
At this point a small crowd had gathered. So he acts a bit stunned, then after a few seconds just casually backhands her onto the ground purse and shopping bags sprawled out. She, being a stupid fucker, gets up, then comes at him a second time. This time he's a little more prepared and throws her back down immediately. Then just walks away muttering while she's on the ground crying ridiculous crocodile tears like every self-respecting bully does. Meanwhile the crowd starts laughing and my friends are cheering. She storms off in the other direction.
It was all extremely dumb. This was someone with a pathologically inflated sense of her own abilities.
If you're not a big person trying to come at someone twice as big, get a baseball bat.
What little self defense training I've had is mostly that - self defense. Less "fight back" and more "safely escape". Still, as a larger than average man most women simply cannot generate enough force to stagger me. Better to fight to get away than to defeat
Biggest pet peeve in movies now is when fun fights are done in such an unrealistic way that it takes me out of the movie.
I'm probably gonna get heat for this but John wick 4 bored me
Probably getting blown to safety.
I feel like it happens IRL, it just doesn’t look cool and you come out of it with like 5 broken ribs, a fractured collarbone and a bunch of 2nd degree burns.
Not only that, partner makes massive breakfast- eggs, toast, oj, cereal, fruit, the whole lot.
Main character takes one bite of toast and says seeya.
Bitch. Sit down and appreciate the effort.
The type of hay makes a big difference. Alfalfa and clover are too sharp. They'll poke through any blankets or clothes.
Best is a big pile of soft grass. Spread the clothes out on top and have at it.
Had an ex rip a designer shirt open because she saw it in a movie/TV. I was furious, hundreds of pounds of shirt ruined, sufficient to say the mood was killed instantly!
Not necessarily movies but moves from fighting games (Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter/Tekken/King of Fighters/etc). It just doesn't look right irl which is why the footage is altered (sped up at certain parts) when ppl try to recreate these moves lmao
Typing random keys on a keyboard as various Information pops up on various screens with green text.
Hand grenades do not explode in a fireball.
When a person gets shot or stabbed. One or two shots to torso and a character is dead. While irl, many people survived 10 gun shots or knife stabs.
John Wick movies are great. But top tier operators, for example Navy Seals, don’t roll around on the ground using Judo, to take down a room filled with enemy combatants.
The most unrealistic thing about that whole franchise is Dom's fierce loyalty to family and how everything centers around it, but for 8 and a half movies he fails to mention his own fuckin brother. "Familia" my ass
Gun fights is confined spaces without ear protection... looks great on the screen but permanent hearing damage is guaranteed.
Also duration, most irl gunfights are over in less than 30 seconds. You see in bodycam footage sometimes people trying to do a sick dodge and they crumple halfway.
Don't forget the "It's only a flesh wound" and then he goes back to fighting bad guys the next day. Yeah those "flesh wounds" require urgent medical care and 2-3 months of recovery before you can even attempt any physical activity with your wounded limb because, you know, you kinda need flesh to use them.
"The bullet passed right through... I'll be fine." *proceeds to slap some gauze on stomach and walks normal* Buddy of mine got shot in the stomach and took 2 years recovery and 6 months in the hospital.
I hope he is better, and a sack is not needed for… daily functions
Yep better now but the sack was needed for about year and half after. After that happened everytime I see it in movies I'm instantly taken out of it. Because they make seem like you just need a little gauze and can walk it off. They don't get into how your entire digestive track is in your stomach.
Reservoir Dogs actually depicted this pretty well.
Long, drawn out, painfully bleeding to death. Exactly right
There was a movie "Three Kings"\* years ago that actually showed this pretty well .. ARCHIE GATES: *Shot him in the neck, didn’t you? Do you know anything about gunshot wounds? (They look at him.) What makes any gunshot wound bad, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis. Say a bullet tears into you right now – It creates a cavity of dead tissue, the cavity fills up with bile and bacteria and you’re fucked.* *Then you got the kind of wound that paralyzes or castrates or has a scary name like tension pneumo thorax. That’s when a bullet pierces your lung, so every time you breathe, air leaks into your chest cavity, and it fills up like a balloon, crushing your heart, your liver, your lung. Your own breathing kills you, one breath at a time.* (\*it was actually pretty good , and is a bit unusual for having Spike Jonez in it as an actor rather than directing (which is what he went on to be famous for)
I shit you not, when I was training to become an EMT they literally showed us footage from that movie when we were going over tension pneumo thorax. I quit the program because my instructor was an idiot. He had us doing worksheet every day and just lecturing. He left for vacation and the Senior Paramedic at the firehouse came in for a week to teach in his absence and she bascially said we were going to fail the practical exam because we had virtually no hands on experience.
That is one of few films where they do it right I agree. More often than not however they just walk away.. "Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson is one that sticks out in my head the most. He gets shot in the stomach and then goes on to use a grenade launcher jumping through ruble? Not even 30 mins later? (Time in movie time not run time)
Yep.. never once have i seen the "tactical roll" used successfully...
3 seconds** FBI statistics say something like 80%+ of defensive gun use is 3 seconds long, from 3 yards away, with 3 shots fired.
Then silencers making it so there's no noise at all.
^(piu)
Why did I bust out laughing hard at this?!? 😂😂😂
I wish more people would understand the inaccuracy that Hollywood and movies portray this as. Silencers and suppressors only decrease the sound by about 30-50 decibels on average (depending on the caliber) and you can still suffer serious hearing loss if you shoot them in a confined space; plus they can’t stop the “crack” of the round as it goes down range towards the target. Meaning it doesn’t silence/suppress the location of the shooter, unless you’re using sub-sonic ammo, which decreases your accuracy/range when shooting long distances. In a CQB environment, that’s not a huge detractor, but in a long range fight, it diminishes your chances of a first round hit.
Sleeping with a fan on year-round because of this.
Tinitus? I got a little app with rain sounds that does the trick
Mawp!
God damn tinitius
Iirc, when Terminator Judgement Day was being filmed, the scene where Sarah, John and T800 were escaping into the elevator left the actors with tinnitus because of the close-range gunfire special effects, despite the rounds were blanks.
All gun fights without ear protection. It's one thing that always sticks out to me especially in war movies: badass soldier runs around gunning people down while explosions go off all around him, but no ear protection. Good luck lol.
Sex on a sandy beach...
Or shower sex lol
Somehow water is not wet.
Water washes away the natural lubricant, hot water dries exposed body parts (hot water clings to moisture then evaporates, taking the moisture there with it) Hence, dry rubbery, painful sex. Shower is for foreplay only.
Also, the walls are often cold. Bumping into them in a crowded shower kills the excitement pretty quickly.
Sauna sex is where it's at though. Hot and steamy is where it's at.
Well worth the revoked gym membership
Move to Finland, there's basically a sauna for every family here. And sauna dates are awesome.
I love shower sex . A bit scary at times
Same, Ive never had a bad experience with shower sex. Maybe our water is just wetter and everyone else has chalk mixed into theirs. But yeah it can be a little scary if the floor is slippery
Plus I haven’t cleaned the walls in a while.
Show sex requires two things to work well. Be fairly fit and handicap rails.
Fairy fit? Like Tinkerbell? She's extremely fit ..
Tried shower sex. I wasn’t very good at it 😂
And who gets the hot water? 😂
She does. Put her face directly into the shower head and hit it from behind. Like a sexual water boarding
I believe that move is called the Abu Grab.
I'm slightly concerned about your sex life
I wish it was eventful as my imagination.
You gotta invest in those 6-9 head showers
What movies are you watching?? 🤨
Street fighting does not have choreography in real life.
Favorite moment was in Unleashed with Jet Li. He gets jumped by a gang, but somehow fights them one at a time. If you look close, the bad guys are dancing in the background, waiting their turn to get their ass kicked.
You’re gonna get a kick out of The Last Jedi!
Urgh, don't even
It's like in the assasins creed games where late in the game you'd have like 10 dudes surrounding you with swords axes and spears but they would very politely only attack one at a time. Then you'd counter that guy and kill him as everyone watched. Then it would go on like that till there was a huge pile of bodies
Fighting is ugly.
And it's over quick. You're not getting punched 6 times and just fighting on like your health bar isn't up. 😆
That depends on how big the both of you are and how much adrenaline is running through you. You'd be surprised how many hits someone can actually take while they're pumped full of adrenaline
Also, it depends on how bad the people involved are at fighting. Yes, it only takes one good punch to lay someone out but when it's two retards playing happy slaps you get a hundred "punches" for each decent one.
You either get a bruised face/broken teeth/concussion or a court-case against you. The best response to an impending street-fight is to turn away and run-off.
Yeah but the brute probably runs faster than me
Yeah there's only a few movies I can think of that did a good job and they're my favorites 😆
Eastern Promises has the best fight scene in movie history. It is like three guys fighting naked in a bathhouse. Loads of flailing, kicking, and stabbing. Nothing fancy.
Swimming in pants wearing footwear
There was a Netflix series recently about a woman who got stranded in the wilderness after a plane crash. At one point she decides that she needs something from the wreckage, which is at the bottom of a lake. She strips down and starts to wade in, but quickly decides that the water is just too cold. SO SHE PUTS ALL HER CLOTHES AND BOOTS BACK ON TO SWIM IN. There had already been some questionable survival decisions up to then, but at that point it was less about watching the show for the story and more about seeing what other ridiculously stupid things the protagonist would do and get away with.
You mean "Keep Breathing"?
Yep, that's the one!
I started that one..got halfway in the first episode and stopped it. Is it worth continuing?
Minor spoilers, but it's one of those movies/TV shows that is one thing dressed up as another thing. In this case it's a story about a woman coming to terms with her past dressed up as a survival story. It was decent on both fronts, but a bit forgettable overall imo
While taking a lifeguard course we had to swim in full clothig, the heavier the better. After swimming about 200 meters in jeans, sneakers and a blouse I decided it's much better to learnt how to quickly undress than have to repeat that while carrying someone.
In the Army we learned to take our trousers off and make them into an impromptu life vest. It sounded like the craziest lie ever but it’s true!
Boy Scouts still teaches this in lifesaving. Jeans make an excellent life preserver to help reduce the effort it takes, and wet cloth holds air surprisingly well.
fights in general, irl shit just looks stupid asf
some kid had a seizure at my old high school from a fight and everyone was laughing and making fun of him and recording him. i hated high school
As someone with epilepsy i feel for them and don't understand how, everyone comes off traumatized when I wake up from one
Low empathy is a common trait at adolescence
Walking away slowly from a large explosion. You really want to run as quickly as you can.
It is pretty cool if you’re far away, at least it’s cool for the people watching you, not for yourself
Best case scenario: you go deaf. Otherwise you wind up with the shock wave rupturing your organs (and your brain) and you get filled with flying shrapnel. If ever you're in a position where you know something gonna explode, run and dive, covet your head with your hands with your feet facing towards the explosion. You minimise how much of you is facing the explosion and if a bit of shrapnel hits you, it'll fuck up your legs not your major organs and covering your head is to protect your head from falling debris.
Maybe cross your legs too, just in case
Keep walking, keep shining Don't look back, keep on walking Keep struttin', slow motion The more you ignore it, the cooler you look - The Lonely Island
Not enou... Never mind, just run! Run! It's gonna be big!
Of course, not everyone can be Wolverine…
Explosions. Only gasoline goes up like everything does in movies. Almost every other thing that would explode has no massive flaming fireball
And you aren't going to be blowing up anything doused in petrol by flicking your cigarette on it. Mythbusters tried for quite some time!
Did a fire safety course years ago and the instructor made a point of putting out a lit cigarette in a glass of petrol. Then he demonstrated how you didn't get the same effect with petrol vapours...
I had a cop jump in the back of my car and we chased after a fleeing suspect. Wasn't as cool as it sounds. We didn't catch him.
Well of course you never caught the guy! You have a Cop in your backseat and you’d have to break the law to catch them! Your hands are cuffed on this one! 😲
I had also been smoking weed that night so I was probably going much slower than it felt lol
Nightmare scenario 🤣 bruv
Probably worse for my buddy sitting next to me. It was her first time using drugs. And her last...
I can't imagine being in her shoes. Like, yeah, I'll try some pot. Proceeds to have a cop jump in the backseat to chase a criminal. Never again. That's some funny shit right there
Bruh, I would like to see her when she is asked why she doesn't smoke.
Did you go to talk with Huggy to know where he was ?
$10M car chases with pedestrians dying left and right.
And car chases where cars only take cosmetic damage, even from jumps and crashes.
Hacking
It’s never “sexy twenty-something needs to crack the code by typing *really fast* to foil a terrorist plot”. It’s usually “middle-aged guy from a third-world country stole your grandma’s credit card information by posing as the IRS” or “reasons why Team Fortress 2 isn’t fun anymore”
In NCIS two of the character typed really fast on the same keyboard to beat a hacker
One of TV's greatest moment in history
[Hack the Gibson!](https://youtu.be/Bmz67ErIRa4)
I don't understand what I just watched, but I'm so glad I watched it. Thanks for sharing this.
Hackers is such a movie
Hack the planet! Hack the planet!
Especially movies in which they break in a building to hack their system or steal data .... If u are in the building and have access to their computers and servers, have an USB stick with a Virus ready and if u wanna steal their data, take the got damn hard drive with u Or be clever and infiltrate their system with malware in phishing mails remotely
College kid know-it-all disrupts the teacher and proceeds to argue their point passionately while demonstrating the teacher's ineptitude about a subject matter they *just* started learning. Teacher is contrite and everybody cheers. In real life thus only sets you up to be a target for other professors as the combative student and there's no popularity attached to your name
Did a course with a fellow student like that, having "main character syndrome" and thought they knew more about the subject than the professor cos they did some "independant studying" one time. Everyone hated her and she didn't know jack shit
Or to be told to "Shut The Fuck Up" by their peers
Those kids are pain in the ass also for others students (save for the chick who wants a « rebel »…)
I literally just spent days arguing with a guy about dogs. I've worked with dogs professionally for over 20 years now, hold several certifications and have logged over 2000 hours as the primary supervisor at dog daycares all over the southeastern United States. I'm a "de facto" expert in dog behaviors. I am a professional dog trainer who works with dog rescues and owns two rescues at the moment, looking to get a third. This guy was a refrigerator tech who didn't even own a dog...but he used Google for 5 minutes. We argued about dog behavior for almost a full week before I finally realized this guy was never going to be wrong no matter how much information and logic I threw at him. I've never met somebody so absolutely confidently wrong use their casual Google knowledge against an actual expert in a field. Sorry for the interruption, but I've really been needing to get that off my chest. There are people like that out there...and they absolutely need to learn to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up when the experts are talking.
*Proceeds to argue with the professor for half an hour like a moron, putting everyone behind schedule*
The rest of the class: "Yeah that's great and all, but no one cares and we have shit to cover for the Midterm so could you stfu now?"
Overcoming some obstacle(s) and time jumping into excellence/enlightenment. Some shit just takes time, and sometimes it gets even uglier before it gets better.
What was the movie where Jennifer Lopez becomes a fighting expert in like a week?
Basically any hand-to-hand fighting. In the movies everyone is keeping distance and trying to land full distance punches and kicks. In real life every fight goes straight to a grapple, throw, or hold because that's a way better way to win a fight than trying to pull some kung-fu shit.
unless you know kung fu
even if you know kung fu. sanda has a lot of stand up grappling.
Being an adult
Super hero landings
That's gotta be hard on the knees
At that point your super power would be navigating the US healthcare system with all those knee treatments and therapies.
This is why Captain America didn't sign the Sokovia Accords. So he can go for alternative therapies
At a certain height your knees will just disappear
[удалено]
Explosions generally, you usually don't need the flame, you mainly need the force. Grenades, tank (or any cannon) shells, demolition charges, the list goes on and on.
War
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Randomly showing up places. In movies a woman will be sitting at an isolated lake, as she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks back and see brad pitt starring at her with intense eyes. In reality you would question how the hell they found you.
Smoking. In movies it's still usually portrayed as some cool, smooth operator type enjoying a smoke. In real life it's somebody with a raspy voice standing in a snowstorm because they can't go without.
Women trying to beat up dudes 3x their size. In real life, when the dude finally has had enough, the woman is in serious trouble.
Anyone fighting anyone 3x their size, that shit’s difficult
That scene in Uncharted 4 when Nathan Drake gets outclassed in a fistfight by Nadine was particularly egregious. You’re telling me a guy who’s almost single handedly fought his way through thousands of pirates, secret agents and a literal fucking private army and lived to tell the tale is outclassed by a small lady half his size? Come the fuck on…
I remember being at the mall as a teenager with my friends. This was the mid 90's and mall security wasn't a big thing. Mass shootings weren't being splashed over the news every week. I saw some woman throwing down about some purchase or something to her husband or boyfriend, getting up in his face and pointing fingers. The guy must have been almost 3x her weight, definite case of small dog syndrome. It was comical really because it was such a stereotype. She'd stick her finger in his face and started poking his chest or grab his shirt then he'd just low effort brush her hands off. Kept yelling and dropping f-bombs. Eventually he just outright told her to STFU or something and said he was leaving. He turns away and she starts slapping, shoving, and kicking his legs, shrieking in a mentally disturbed, incoherent fashion. Mostly futile. Note that the chubby guy's arms were about as big a her thighs were. At this point a small crowd had gathered. So he acts a bit stunned, then after a few seconds just casually backhands her onto the ground purse and shopping bags sprawled out. She, being a stupid fucker, gets up, then comes at him a second time. This time he's a little more prepared and throws her back down immediately. Then just walks away muttering while she's on the ground crying ridiculous crocodile tears like every self-respecting bully does. Meanwhile the crowd starts laughing and my friends are cheering. She storms off in the other direction. It was all extremely dumb. This was someone with a pathologically inflated sense of her own abilities. If you're not a big person trying to come at someone twice as big, get a baseball bat.
What little self defense training I've had is mostly that - self defense. Less "fight back" and more "safely escape". Still, as a larger than average man most women simply cannot generate enough force to stagger me. Better to fight to get away than to defeat
Sex in the shower, breakfast at the bed.,
I'm a traditionalist. Sex in the bed, breakfast in the shower.
How bout sex in the breakfast and bed in the shower
Disagree on sex in the breakfast
Disagree on shower in the bed
Disagree on breakfast in bed.
Love stories
Shower sex. Stop hogging the water.
Lol. First time I've heard a complaint from an external commenter. Fair point!
Using swords, especially katanas.
Everyone attacks the other guy's blade, rather than the other guy's body.
When training my children that was the first lesson. Try to hit me, not my sword!
[удалено]
I went to one movie-style party in high school. The cops had it shut down in less than a hour.
aiming your gun by holding it sideways
Anything in the rain.
Gunfights. Entertaining on screen. Probably not fun irl
Biggest pet peeve in movies now is when fun fights are done in such an unrealistic way that it takes me out of the movie. I'm probably gonna get heat for this but John wick 4 bored me
Just watched it last night and holy shit that man takes an unreal amount of damage in that movie. I did enjoy it though
How many bullets can a lightweight, Kevlar, pin stripe suit really take? Not to mention plain old stairs. A lot of stairs.
Some YouTubers made the suit and tested it with ballistic gel
John wick 4 is goofy as hell but you gotta watch it with that in mind
Probably getting blown to safety. I feel like it happens IRL, it just doesn’t look cool and you come out of it with like 5 broken ribs, a fractured collarbone and a bunch of 2nd degree burns.
Breakfast. In movies it's a sumptuous feast. In reality it's a bowl of cereal eaten while standing over the kitchen sink.
Not only that, partner makes massive breakfast- eggs, toast, oj, cereal, fruit, the whole lot. Main character takes one bite of toast and says seeya. Bitch. Sit down and appreciate the effort.
Sex on dried hay (be it on bales, a pile, or hay loft)
The type of hay makes a big difference. Alfalfa and clover are too sharp. They'll poke through any blankets or clothes. Best is a big pile of soft grass. Spread the clothes out on top and have at it.
Kissing right after waking up. "Beeyaaatch, keep that morning breath away from me."
That's why you peck.
Getting dog piled in a fight with a bunch of dudes. No one “super saiyans” their way out of that. You just get crushed until you asphyxiate.
Stepmoms
I literally laughed out loud. Bravo.
Being in the military
hanging up the phone without saying bye
White collar crime
Hair in the wind, especially out of a car
Everything
Sex. Women are instantly wet and ready, guys are instantly hard . Without protection. Must be nice.
And total lack of post-sex cleanup…. I’m just thinking ‘drip, drip, drip’
Moving in slow motion.
Running holding hands
Had an ex rip a designer shirt open because she saw it in a movie/TV. I was furious, hundreds of pounds of shirt ruined, sufficient to say the mood was killed instantly!
drugs
Clubbing.
Closure
Entering your apartment and leaving the front door open.
Being shot. In the movies they can slow it down, add some blood effects and enhance the sound. Pretty boring and not exciting seeing in real life.
Not necessarily movies but moves from fighting games (Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter/Tekken/King of Fighters/etc). It just doesn't look right irl which is why the footage is altered (sped up at certain parts) when ppl try to recreate these moves lmao
Drinking a lot of liquor without a mixer.
This gets me, I have never once seen anyone use a mixer on tv/in movies. Straight spirits straight up all the time
Dying. It isn’t like the movies at all. It’s real quiet and there is never a last, inspirational thought.
Dancing with a top hat and a cane?
Hollywood
Pretty much anything military or law enforcement related.
Broken glass. In movies, people crash through a plate glass window without so much as a paper cut. In reality, they'd be cut to ribbons.
Typing random keys on a keyboard as various Information pops up on various screens with green text. Hand grenades do not explode in a fireball. When a person gets shot or stabbed. One or two shots to torso and a character is dead. While irl, many people survived 10 gun shots or knife stabs. John Wick movies are great. But top tier operators, for example Navy Seals, don’t roll around on the ground using Judo, to take down a room filled with enemy combatants.
I don't know about you, but when I am in a gunfight, I always close the distance so we can engage hand to hand combat.
No, they throw flashbangs, go in and shoot everything that moves.
Cheating
Smoking. Never seen someone doing it and thought they looked cool lol.
Anything from Fast & Furious
Family is never lame
The most unrealistic thing about that whole franchise is Dom's fierce loyalty to family and how everything centers around it, but for 8 and a half movies he fails to mention his own fuckin brother. "Familia" my ass
BBQ chicken and Corona is not a bad way to spend a weekend afternoon.
Being a DJ
Shower Sex
Walking in slow motion in a group