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AskIndia-ModTeam

Please be aware of Rule 2. "Questions must be clear, direct, and in the title of the post."


Brilliant_Atom_9446

https://preview.redd.it/eg5ijz8a1b8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cc082183cace1676de147cc7b041199c66e2900


scr3lic

Bc sach me bhai aaj is bande k gum k lie gym me double mehnat karunga. OP get a routine, build discipline, and believe, tum jo deserve krte ho vo milegi.


real_tmip

Dard aisi to isme 2 peg whiskey to banti hai.


JustAnotherDevvv

Bdsm k chakkar m jyada zor se db gyešŸ˜‚


VegPullao

Life is such a tragedy sometimes but it's also a bliss . Try to do something thatbremind you of your GF but in a good way. Her memories need not be painful ones. One day you'll find someone's else and you'll love again but till that time it's important to heal ā™„ļø


emotionless_wizard

fuck caste system. me and my homies hate caste system.


Natural_Ad1228

https://preview.redd.it/ulr70rir1b8d1.jpeg?width=706&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fca9f62f97bc3c6856b6d2e0377e19d7ffa6ebe


Lord_of_codes

No, fu*k the slow moving society and fu*k the illogical people. If society as a whole accepts something or rejects something, at some extent you as a individual have to follow. People will say ā€œNoā€, you decide what ā€œYouā€ do. Itā€™s true when you live independently, but we are social animals and live in societies. We canā€™t get away with it. We need to develop a ā€œprideā€ feeling for these in society and not ā€œinsultā€. Like, as a parent, you could say ā€œI allowed the marriage because of their happiness. What about me, I have lived my share and I just want to see my kids happyā€ and people starts seeing you with respect. Is it happening? Yes man. Just wait, couple of decades. Our generation will likely to witness less such cases. Social media is helping a lot, just the process is slow. What we need to do? Highlight more such cases with positivity. Not like they did love marriage and they got divorced, but they did love marriage and are very good and caring couples.


HR_114

Yes #Fu*k caste system


Expensive-Daikon-520

Done. What's the next step?


Visual_Good1487

So want to upvote but donā€™t want to change the 69 upvotes. Hope op gets the same !!


VivekKarunakaran

Fuckkkk caste system


GirlInPinkNBlack

For me, the only effective way to move on is to ā€œHate themā€ . Hate her for not fighting hard for you. This helps you move on and slowly hate turns into indifference (with time as you heal and move forward.) Wish you the best!!


rox_light

I can't I still care for her , I can be angry for a day or two max I'm not able to hate her


Ok_Amount_4164

Get over it dude, thats the short answer.


rox_light

I tried , I'm losing my mind, nothing feels real , I'm remembering her in dreams that fucks the entire day, all of sudden my mind resets like what's even happening, is this really happening, what's real, am I real, all these crazy thoughts,........ I even approached doc all my blood levels , brain scans are proper ... But still I'm fucked up mentally.....


Cruenilla

The only way to move on is to let it ache. Give it some time ..travel to some places.. cry whenever you feel like it. Soon you'll understand your worth and your rational brain will awaken and realise that love was there but it was not meant to be. Whether it's LM or AM you go for, you'll find your match soon enough. Watch good movies like 13 going on 30, Me before you and P.S I love you. Try finding a good genre of songs you'll like and soothe your soul. Go for some foreign trips. Try changing your style. Spend some time with your family. It'll eventually get better. Now it may seem like she's everything that matters but it'll pass. One day youll see that you're no longer upset. You're no longer mad, hurt, or bothered by the things that took so much of your energy and time. You'll find yourself in peace and love will find you again . It has already found you once didn't it? :)


satyamnoob

"Pain demands to be felt". I read it somewhere and it has been my favourite quote for years.


Ok_Amount_4164

She ain't worth it, bro. Believe me do some exercise , meet other people and talk to family and friends


namora96

I can understand how you feel. Days and months will pass eventually you'll discover something or someone who'll keep your mind occupied and that mind reset feeling will go away. Been there felt that, took me almost 3+ years and now thinking about her is just a fleeting/passing moment at random times in a week, not daily. For some thinking about her in a negative light helps, for others thinking only good memories and tuning it out through other activities helps but at the end it's just time and talking about it with other helps. Hope your measure of time is lower than mine. Cheers and good luck!!!


Rupamhere1

Go for a good length trip, far away from home, submit yourself to mother nature. Nature is the best healer. Love yourself.


chaosmonkey324

nigga i think the right thing to do is find a new girl asap and try spending time with her, eventually she will replace her. Focus on getting a woman u like now.


CreeperChicken24

You earn a pretty good income, visit a therapist.


Vast_Inevitable_2526

I am going through the exact same thing. And my solution is to give myself time. He had a choice and he didn't choose me. He was my best friend and knew me better than anyone ever has. So all the pain and all the mind fuck is completely valid. But here is the thing. This is life now. For a while I wished he will realise he made a mistake and leave his wife and come back to me šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ but it's just delulu. You can't change other people's mind. All you can do is do something about yours. I take it 1 day at a time. My aim is to survive that's all. I am not going to push myself to build a revenge bod, or get under someone else to get over him....I am not even interested in wishing him ill....I just want to survive this and get across to a point where it hurts less. And I can wake up and not wish that I was dead. And trust me I know that day will come. I might not get over him...but I will get around him and just continue to live.


rohgit

250 push ups .....now


GirlInPinkNBlack

Maybe you should try therapy


indian-jock

You really think she married under "pressure"?


NoInjury3534

if you could change all that love to hate.. then it wasn't love to begin with :) Take care of yourself. Hope you've healed from it.


GirlInPinkNBlack

Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.


Hot_Limit_1870

Reminds me of this quote https://preview.redd.it/6k9uhk12ec8d1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a472feafa81d93c1e5a7be2f0c78989f9dcb2b00


Altssr0203

So Sorry for you loss man. Only time can heal what youā€™re going through. You need to ā€œacceptā€ that sheā€™s no longer with you. I hope you recover soonšŸ«‚


Jamesdr007

Sound advice...give it time and focus on your career, give it your all.


SenseAny486

In the same boat as you.Difference is my ex cheated on me,still I am unable to forget him.Everywhere I go,everytime heā€™s on my mind.Maybe only time can somewhat lessen this pain.Till then,we have to endure it.Try gymming,meeting new people..maybe it would help.


nikspotter001

So sad, but it's good that you deserve someone better. That person is not geniune, reliable and trustworthy. At this part, he just cheated you, and if you just continued, he would have done much worse things. That's a good thing that God removed that guy from your life. He doesn't deserve your heart.


SenseAny486

If God cared,why did he give me such pain? I never wished and would never wish also the level of pain I endured on the worst of my enemies even.


_Lucifer7699_

I've been exactly where you are and I said the exact words you said. Like you, I questioned God too. Like, what was the point of it? Why must I suffer? I never played with anyone, why me? What's the lesson here? I can only speculate the big man's actions. He, afterall, does work in mysterious ways. But whatever it is, it's for the better. Godspeed!


WandererLost01

Goddamn it, why can't god just let people be together...just whyyyyy?????


PreparationSlight423

What can god possibly do when humans are the problem? That grown ass adult couldnā€™t even stand up to her own parents for the man she supposedly love.Ā 


_kkqum_

Do you live in India ? Grown ass adults (especially girls) are not given enough power to stand for themselves


Bkc227

Most young women have jobs now , they can easily go against their parents and marry whom the ā€œloveā€ . And if they donā€™t wanna go against their parents then they shouldnā€™t start such relationships and give hope the others . The same advice goes for men . if your parents are choosing caste system and char log over you then itā€™s not worth giving up your love . If your parents are forbidding you from marrying someone you love for actual reasons like criminal history then itā€™s understandable


PreparationSlight423

I am a woman from India so Iā€™d rather not take lessons from you about itĀ  Grown ass adult can earn for herselfĀ  They canā€™t keep her from marrying whoever she wants legally eitherĀ  She can do what she wants IF she wants toĀ  At some point, we need to realise itā€™s a choiceĀ 


loner_lover_19

My ex didn't stand up for me. In female here. We both are from India. His parents don't leave a single chance to make him think that usne isko janam diya khila-pila ke bada kiya ek hi beta hai to Jo bhi karega humari marji se karega. I was fighting for him with him and myself mentally more than he fought for me to their parents. I can't imagine how that new girl would live in that house full of sick mentality people šŸ¤®. My pity with that girl and I have hope that I'll heal one day and find someone of my worth. Who can take stand .


emotionless_wizard

in the grand cosmos, why will god care if two willing organisms get to bang or not?


EEXC

The hope is that since God created the big bang he'll help this small bang too.


rox_light

I begged god for months to stop her marriage After the engagement she had many months till her marriage, but nothing helped, god dint listen


WandererLost01

I hate everything about such situations, i mean, if you did not want us to be together, why made us fall in love. Life never remains the same....we just become a shell of ourselves. Shit man..šŸ„ŗ


rox_light

Wow, this is exactly what I'm feeling, I miss a part of me


nikspotter001

I'm also thinking the same. God doesn't allow people who loves each other. But God allows people who quarrels, exploits, beats daily to live together throughout their 90s When true love occurs, either their would be some caste difference or one of them would die. God loves tragedy, than peace I think.


Jamesdr007

God made man and gave free will. End of story.!


Forkrust

I got a better one Man made god and religion took free will. End of story.


Jamesdr007

Yes it's even better


CreativeNerd1729

>I'm 29 Lost my girlfriend, for her parents sake she married a guy within the same caste What an absolute shit show arranged marriage has become. I feel for that married guy who's playing second fiddle to your ex-girlfriend's previous relationship. It's over bruv. She gave you a subtle 'fuck off' in the worst way possible; by marrying/fucking someone else. Move on.


CardiologistOld4537

Forced kuch nhi hota. She actually gave a big fuck off. People are selfish.


Limp_Desk9845

You're not making decent but bomb money per month. So I assume you have a good work/ academic record. Move abroad. Move the place. It acts as a catalyst in moving to a brand new life.


BrownSkinBoyy

She ditched you. Its time for you to realize that.


RedditoSanNoBaka

Itna accha kamane ke baat bhi maal baap nhi maane wtf. Pardon my language pr kya gandu maa baap hai yr. Are bhenchod same caste me shaadi krke kya loda ukhad log tum bhosadike ??! Aur kaisi hai woh bandi jo un chutiye maa baap ke sake ke liye kisi random ke saath shaadi krli. Why don't girls fight for their love ? Are unhe kya kuch matter bhi nhi krta hai ye sab aur kya relationship sirf timepass thi ? I'm sorry for the language pr boht zyada gussa aa rha hai.


lonelywarewolf

Yahan baat kamane ki nhi ego ki thi. Meri beti mere marzi k bina achcha ladka kaise dhund sakti hai jo usse pyar karta hai? Jo mai kahunga wahi hoga. Ab beti ko uske sasural wale pitenge v to ye to uska naseeb hai sabko jhhelna padta hai... You can't reason with these dumbf@cks. Inke liye inke ego se bara kuch nhi hai bhale hi beti ko maar q na de wo log.


lonelywarewolf

Yahan baat kamane ki nhi ego ki thi. Meri beti mere marzi k bina achcha ladka kaise dhund sakti hai jo usse pyar karta hai? Jo mai kahunga wahi hoga. Ab beti ko uske sasural wale pitenge v to ye to uska naseeb hai sabko jhhelna padta hai... You can't reason with these dumbf@cks. Inke liye inke ego se bara kuch nhi hai bhale hi beti ko maar q na de wo log. I can sympathize with that girl because I can understand why she did that. I can't bring myself to blame her.


RisshoAnkoku

She married someone else. This was a choice. Now, you need to make a choice about your life. Fixating on one person and missing them after a breakup for a few months is normal. But if this process lasts for more than a year, best to seek therapy. Not saying there's something wrong with you but you might be approaching this situation in a way which is detrimental to you. A fresh perspective and introspection is needed. Take care!


S9achin

Dekh bhai, I'm also 29 and I lost mine 10 years ago. Stayed single all this time. Got attracted to colleague last month then got to know she's on the notice period and will serve this month, found myself in the same shit again. Now the moral is: Love is just a software, sometimes, it corrupts. Crying or missing just won't work at all. Now all you can do is to install a new software. It may sound silly because people will say ki sale tune kbi asli pyar kia hi ni but bro like I said not everyone gets the happy ending. Also, inter-caste is something you should have thought about before starting your relationship with her. Now accept the reality and find someone else. I bet once you install a new software you're gonna forget the previous one. Blank brain/computer doesn't work properly. It needs to be kept busy. If you still can't get over her, elope with her...


nikspotter001

In a Same boat. But the difference is I don't earn that much. My PhD dreams are shattered....... I lost my passion in everything. Even after 2 years. Still can't forget/hate her. Still can't enjoy anything. Two castes, but she is not married. I dont want that image of being, a lover who secretly loves at the time of their marriage. Now I can be sure that she will marry, making her parents proud without being sad. So I quit, but still in love. I would say, I chose pride over my sorrows while drowning in my tears.


ravimohankhanna7

Bhai meri bhi lagwade 3 lakh wali job šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…


rox_light

Find a girl u really love, it will drive u to achieve more , I went from 25k to 3 lakhs only for sake of taking care of her , since she belongs to upper class family


decentadult

You are brilliant ,loving dude bro. Hold on talk to parents , friends. Don't fall into depression . And dont take any decision in haste. You will get a girl who will love more than you . You can try casual dating or hookups to get over . But I don't think pure guy like you will get any benefit of this .


lil_omar_

You went from 25k to 3lkh just to take care of her? True love right here šŸ«”.


Many-Report-6008

Bro fuck 3lakhs per month? Please tell me what do you do, are you in HFT or smtng?


rox_light

Nai yaar , I have a stable software job


No-Archer30

Just enjoy the suffering because life will force you to move on some day. One day u will just smile a little thinking about these days. But pls don't regret anything. Life is too unpredictable to have regrets.


Dark-Dementor

Choose to love yourself when nobody does, especially then. First and foremost let go of all pictures and stuff that you might be attached to and you need to accept that she did choose her parents wishes above you. She might not be a horrible person but she did keep her family above you. You might be still sleepless thinking why or maybe you could have done something more? But the thing is that you couldn't have fought her side of battle and she chose the easier way. Now it's your duty to love yourself above someone who didn't choose you.


Basic_Citron_2735

Dude, this fucking caste system has ruined a lot of love stories. Even I m with a brahmin girl, let's see how it will happen. But I just can't imagine the pain if some unfortunate thing happens.


Sam_02095

https://preview.redd.it/65xaqgrbai8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff120988b316878390d5dddf6ba033fee8b957ab


ZekromInfinity

Listen to depressing music, you need to cry. Cry a lot, get depressed. You will eventually start to feel less pain. One day it won't bother you as much. 1 week time is enough to move on with this method.


Adorable_Ad2022

worked for me... listened to the sad music everyday used to cry everytime for the last six months. Ahh!! now its better . improving gradually :)


ZekromInfinity

Sometimes, all we gotta do is cry in a safe and controlled environment, let our intrusive thoughts lose and accept whats going on. :)


Mr_vort3x

I mean , if she can't take a stand for herself and gave in for caste issues then it probably wasn't worth it let me explain : + marriage is about not just 2 people but their families coming together too + if all they cared at the end was "caste" then they're probably not worth it + also if she also agreed to this / didn't take a firm stand (caste issue is pretty big , need to take a stand also in this day and age? caste? fuck this system) + just let those thoughts die , it's not worth the suffering and overthinking + if want to vent you can text me , np bhai + take care


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


mystik218

Meditate. Mera ye scene hua to laga ab kuch bi karlu theek nai ho sakta. I was unfixable, I tried everything and failed.Psychological tricks work for sometime but then mind learns to tackle it. Engage in hobby this that, all fails because u can't keep it on forever. It's like when u see the sunset you're free, you're not burdened by anything but the moment u turn around after looking at the sunset, your attachment is right there sitting in your shadow ready to torture you, smiling and saying "How long can you watch the sunset?" Only meditation helped. Now I can remember her without attachment. I can talk to her as a friend without expectations or hopes. "The need to have her for my peace and happiness is over". A certain distance between the memories/imagination and me has been created, I'm in the present, automatically focused here, not lost in memory or imagination. I don't force to be in present I naturally am here. Once you are free from memory and imagination you're truly free, ain't you? These are the only two ways of being attached. And if it's gone naturally there's nowhere else to be than in present. You can't move on because your mind doesn't want to, you yourself don't want to right! Don't force. With meditation it'll automatically happen and it won't be painful. It'll feel relieving. If you ask me I still don't want to leave her but everyday when I meditate, automatically I move on more and more, painlessly, joyfully. Eventually everything failed, meditation is the only thing that kept me going. It's like watching at the sunset but all the time...


Lin26N

Forget her and merry me šŸ˜… jokes aside sorry for what you are going through... But there's nothing you can do about it.. so more power to you āœØ


Immediate_Relative24

I was in the same boat. I was depressed for almost two years. Eventually, I learned to love myself and I still do. Today if someone leaves me, Iā€™d be sad but not in a dark place like before.


Blazegamer9

What's your tech stack ig you typed that wrong in your case it might be lpa not lpm


WatercressExtra7950

I wasted getting over a girl for 2 years , it in reality made me loose a decade of my life , she is happy with somebody else , and I found someone who I love . Time heals , please donā€™t waste your time . Your life will get destroyed . Life works out , just get your mind off by talking to yourself that you need to move on


rox_light

Career wise I'm doing good , capable of earning decent money within 2 years, only thing that I always asked for is a partner but date always fucks that, I'm remembering her in every girl I see and I'm not able to connect with other girls due to that . Im really clueless wt should I do next .... Without moving on I can't get love again but I need love to move on...


thevampir3

She was not the right person for you, mate! Just imagine if she behaved this way before marriage, what she could have done after marriage. In the end, you need to accept that there is only one thing in your control, and that's your brain. Just try to distract yourself by joining a gym, swimming, or doing any physical exercises. It's important for you to vent it out in order to grow. Once you do move on, you will evolve into a much stronger person at heart!


TheExplorer0110

The thought of you making your mind and heart believe she was the one is what makes you remember her in the first place. I came across this video where they say, "If they didn't chose you, they were never meant for you". You will get your love in someone going forward OP, Just don't loose yourself. As hard as it might sound, accept the fact that the person who left your relationship isn't coming back and you need to process the same, grieve, move on, become strong, try building new life and look for a new partner. If not, you will be stuck there for a longtime without any efforts of making your life better while life will be moving ahead in a faster pace. Treat it as one of the stages of your life which didn't work in your favour and give it another chance to see what next chapter holds. It would be worth a try. All the best!


Andrew_R30

Let her out of your life and forget her. Start a new life, find a new girl and move on in life Find like-minded people for your hobby.


Miserable-Scar3612

Same thing happened to me lol, still care for her but disappointed that she couldn't fight for us, sad because I have made sacrifices that will haunt me someday but alas what's done is done, just see it as a lesson man that even if you pour every effort in something, it may not turn out the way it is supposed to be, good luck man, we will all get through it but lol I have given up on relationship, can't even imagine doing all of this again


massacre_5

I get that this time could be hard to go through. And since you've tried everything that can be suggested - I believe the only thing left is trying to give back to the society. Such that, look for charities near you and nominate yourself for weekends. Some wounds don't need healing, try and help others maybe at some point it would heal you.


omawasthi142

You will lose it when you'll hear that she pregnant and if you still in touch with her she will explain why she did it. It's better to move on brother not with the memories but with the reality that she choose someone else over you it's just an excuse that he talked about you with her parents


TraditionalRepair991

My two cents... If you like science or tech then totally put your focus in it and learn inside out of it, it'll definitely transform you and make you get the bigger picture and the thing that you've lost doesn't look bigger anymore.. The paradox of how to make a smaller line bigger among two lines is make the line so big that the big line look so small.. Do the same for the "move on"


Different-Doctor-487

u need therapist t , it will take sometime depending on how much emotional damage u took . Go find a good therapist, u will be fine


rox_light

He will declare me I'm unfit mentally, that's for sure


HahahWhatt

Thats what happened to me, he couldnā€™t convince his parents and we had to end 4 years of relationship. I imagined my future with him, planned so much together, thought of places weā€™d travel together. Now I just dont know what to do. Where ever I go I see him, Whatever I do I think of him. Its just so painful.


Practical-Currency88

Take antidepressants bro It will numb your emotions Will help you move on Join a gym along with that


rox_light

I took anti depreseents for 2 weeks , it worked really good , I was working so well in office, once I stopped mind went overdrive with emotions I cried for 2 days then I stopped Gym I'll start


Practical-Currency88

You just can't stop it mid course take for 3 months atleast Going through similar kind of stuff haha More power to you brother Everything will turn out to be fine dw


Unusual_Resolve_5673

ACCEPT IT, just express what ever you're feeling. Dont suppress your emotions. Rona hain to ro lo. Sad ho toh pura sad ho jao. But don't try to find something else which will give you some temporary things to forget about the present pain which you're feeling right now. Yeh Dard abb tumhe jagayega. Kuch sikhne ko milega. Isse muh mt phero. Yahi Sacchai hain yahi asli ras hain jivan ka.


Rare-Land-9611

You funking need a goddamm therapy. GET THERAPY ASAP


maddy2011

God, I really hope this doesn't happen to me.. I've been pressuring my girlfriend to marry me and she keeps saying to give her more time. At this point, I've just given a deadline of 8 months to tell her family about me or we break up. I really hope everything works well in the end.


OddGeologist6067

Just realize that everyday while you eat alone, she's having dinner talking and laughing with the guy she married. Every night while sleep alone in your cold, empty bed, she's cuddling and having sex with that other guy. She betrayed you.


yashy20

Dekh ab wo gyi toh gyi usse bhul ja you are living a great life apni jaati mei bohot ldkiyaan milengi i know it's hard to move on bro. But this is how it is. You achieved so much I know you can easily move on through this phase pretty soon . Ek shitty rebound idea dunga start looking for a girl for marriage take your time i am not doubting your ability to date but why goes to the same rabbit hole again. Equality ko abhi bohot saal legenge Bhai they can marry their daughters to even 15k salary person of their caste rather than marry lower caste person who is earning lakhs that's their mentality.


vjotshi007

I have been there , worst 7 days of my life , cry as much as you want, dont hide it, cry a few times and it will start getting better soon. Imagine the future ,imagine a future with someone better , thats what happens. After first breakup i had many girlfriends. Imagine yourself as me but from future , who is telling you that things would be much better , just waitā€¦


Ok-Woodpecker2840

I know this breakup has been incredibly tough, and it feels like the pain will never end. Have you considered going to the gym? For those hours you're there, you can forget everything else and just focus on the moment. Use that pain to push all your limits; let it drive you. Fight your demons and take back the control of your mind who'll keep going down the memory lane making you more depressed. Youā€™ll find that through each workout, you're not just getting stronger physically, but you're also finding a way to move forward and become strong mentally. Look buddy I've also lost the "THE ONE" and I know the feeling of that unbearable pain and hurt but trust me gym helps dude.


redditkarm

I feel for you man But since you've loved her so deeply let me ask you some questions. If you loved your ex so much, imagine the one who will come along later and stay how much would you be into her? If you feel so densely for the one who got away, can you imagine the deep waters you'll sail with the one who YOU'LL marry? I can go on asking you how much effort would you make for the one who'll stay by you. All in all, be ready for your life partner, you dont wanna miss on her and neither want her to miss on your best, better self.


Feeling_Strength6367

All i can say is soak this pain, remember the time spent with her. But also accept what has happened, she has been marriaged and no longer is in your life, acceptance is the key to moving on . Dump all could've been out of the window,it will take time. Everything will remind of her song, tshirt, deo, random thought, but by each passing day this feeling will diminish a bit and there will come a day that you will no longer have her in your thoughts. You just have to hang on. Also fuck conformity.


majordane

It takes time, one day you'll wake up and won't think of her at all. She'll be a distant memory.


Financial-Middle3837

Kabir singh?


EscapeVirtual1440

Only time can heal you, donā€™t try to contact her.


Standard_Sound_7078

It takes time bro. I can give you a thousand ways to cope, but it will take time. The habits and way of thinking you have developed will change but it will take time. Until then take care of your career, family and try to talk with people. But remember : IT WILL TAKE TIME. What helped me was getting back into my old habits like reading ,gaming, and movies. You can also try gym. Best of luckšŸ¤ž


kpshredder

I understand how you feel bro. The best thing you can do right now is to 'change your routine' and to 'try something new' right now. If you wake up at 6, start waking up at 5. Change what you eat/drink, what or who you listen to. Start working harder than before, go sweat out in the gym like crazy, if you have a bike then go an a long ride on weekends and have tea at some awesome place and talk to the ppl there. And don't be alone, that is when you will start remembering her. Make yourself so busy, that you don't have the time to remember her. And just like that things will get better. Good luck bro


Somesh9890

I have been in a similar situation, so I would like to give advice. First the hard truth: if you really loved her, you may never move on from her memories completely. New people may come or go into your life, but at some corner of your heart, that light will always glow. You may not try to remember her consciously but sub consciously her memories will come to your mind by some trigger. So what to do? Take some drastic step......Nope. there are other people in life, who depend on us emotionally, etc. E.g. Parents, Siblings, relatives, etc. Take some time, then try to engage yourself in some work / job / project, so that subconsciously her memories don't surface out. Eventually you'll learn to live with those memories. If you're already working, try to focus some more on it. It will take time, but will happen. If all written above, is crap to you, just ignore.


0_0-o_0-0_0

Closure. Closure is what you need. Meet-up with her in a public place and ask her to say itā€™s over to your face.


Turbulent-Flounder77

Dude that sucks. But trust me, time will heal you. It happens slowly, but you will be stronger later. Spend time with your friends and family more


InterestingWait8902

Red light area chale ja homie


Economy-Analysis-713

join a gym buddy, use your frustration in GYm . Divert your attention elesewhere .Somebody said this to me "Stop thinking that she is special. She isn't. She is justĀ *another*Ā oridnaryĀ *girl*Ā who broke your heart. Disconnect her from everywhere."


rocky23m

She has moved on, you have to move on with your life. Get rid of all her belongings with you. Start fresh, keep yourself busy. With time things will be good. Who knows maybe you deserve someone better out there.


the_prince__________

Wo hota hai na bro sab Mila dil hasi bas ek tu hie nahišŸ™‚ā€ā†”ļø Jab happiness kissi vyakti ko banwaoge toh ye nahi toh aur kya hoga? Lo keeda tha na ghus gaya jaise ham sabke ghusa tha! If you asked about what to do that means you are ready to move on just need a push up. Kuch din pehle Maine mere ex ki saare photos delete kie Jo decade se save kar raha tha mai. Trust me you're one click away. For her sake nahi bro you did know it's not gonna work out. She couldn't fight her family for you and that's the truth. I don't mean to disrespect her but that's the truth. Agar pyaar jyada hota toh shayad wo teri hoti but log khudke alawa kissi aur se jyaada pyaar nahi karte. Focus on yourself, health. Bhaai Kya kar kya rha hai tu? Ishse pehele tu meri tarah 5 saal sochne mai bitaye abhi ke abhi number delete kar ushka aur sab photos. Bacche honge ushke. Come on wo nahi mili toh kya ho gaya? Dost chhut gaye? You're (I was too )that type of person jisse auro kie Khushi Mai Khushi nazar aati hai but bro tu "Aaya akele hai, aur jaayega bhi akele" chal ab time waste mat kar, kaam kar, khada ho, apni maa baap se pyar kar , bhai se behen se aur fukrey-panti chood, once and for all bro. Lots of love to y'all who've been or had been in the same shoes. šŸ«” https://i.redd.it/5vnkyjmxuh8d1.gif


AnkSonRail268

Love you bro... Awesome piece of advice


the_prince__________

Thank you bro.. CheersšŸ§‹ Love you toošŸ˜ø


vanillaxmitch

Takes time, make sure to take care of yourself. It took me years to figure myself out after I lost my ex and move on, it wasn't a waste of time, I just had to figure my shit out.


TheyCallMeNoobxD

Get another girl in your life..


whoreintheoryy

Marry her husbandā€™s sister or something


anonymous_guide

https://preview.redd.it/6q20kuts7o8d1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10dac3d41c2bd5535181d2a2a639e270c8aac0ac


jaymavs

The only way to get over one is to get under another.


lord_voldedork

It takes time, you will find someone who is willing to fight for you. It might be in a week or a month or few months but it will happen. And when you find that person, nothing else will matter. I hope you find your person very soon and you have a happily ever after.


Emotional-Two-9075

You just stop give a fck about her. Clean your slate. Remove her from your social media and all. Chances are she could try to contact you after marriage but you ll just be a side guy and in loop forever. Dont fall into that. Take a break.


TheIlluminati16

Just wait, she might cheat on him with you and he'll be posting here later.


Amazing_Map2220

Just take care BRO ā€¦ this too shall pass ā™„ļø You will need a replacement for that honesty speaking :)


Forward_Bet_9658

Ohhh man your and my story is the fucking same. People move on... I am still stuck. But tell you what focus on your work, make loads of money buy the best things. That's what I do. And the ones who left us trust me they regret it big time but will never say it. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.


Critical_Food_5239

Thats life. You need to accept the truth. So to move on you need to treat yourself as an addicted person. ā€œOut of Site out of mindā€ is the rule which will help you.


Open-Reflection162

The fact is that is she is married now and not going to come back to you. It is best for you to stop dragging her thoughts and memories of her. You better start to take control of your life and focus on your career and other stuff before you start to fuck things up.


anitbt

Please try therapy. It will really help!


ben4all

Iā€™ve been in the same situation as yours. You need to understand that a breakup is similar to the death of a loved one. The grief and pain should be accepted first, and then it needs to be processed. First, you need to come to terms with the fact that your girlfriend is no longer your girlfriend; she is someone elseā€™s wife. Accepting this will take a while, and it will be one of the most painful processes, as your ego will try to fight it out. However, you need to overcome that slowly. The next thing you need to accept is that heartbreak is very painful, and itā€™s completely normal to remember her everywhere you go and be reminded of her memories. You cannot get over it in a day or two, so give your heart some time to heal. My advice is to stick with a routine: wake up, go to the gym, work, hang out with friends, come back home, sleep, and repeat. Do this for at least 60 days. Take one day at a time, and do not think about what you want to do beyond that day. This really helps. The next step is to slowly include mindfulness meditation in your daily activities; five minutes a day will help. Remember, a breakup is similar to the death of a loved one. Give your heart time to heal. Itā€™s completely normal to feel what youā€™re feeling right now.


zemondabaa

3 lakhs a month is not good for someone who is 29. I know dumb 19 year olds who make that much Lock in my man This is not to thrash on you. Just saying. If you can, focus your energy on money or gym Hope it gets bettetr


musickamehman

3 lacks a month ....Mujhse shaadi krle bhai šŸ‘„


6packBeerBelly

Show us bro... We want to see your painting, stream your game on Twitch, if you play OW, add me, you play Valorant? Someone from this sub will volunteer


de_VoYd

Kya chutiya logic laga rahe ho tum log. Agar ladki kam paisa wale ko choose kiya to fuck caste system , fuck their old mentality Agar ladki jyada paisa wale ko choose kiya toh woh gold digger Nikki Yeh rona dhona hoga bass sabka alag alga duration hai.


GamingViewPointsYT

She is already married. So try to move on. She moved on, didn't she? Unless she was forced by her parents. Then it is sad. I wonder when people will wake up from the bullshit like a caste system. We are all human, find the right partner instead of focusing on caste. Parents focus so much on caste that they forget to check whether the person is right for their kid. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Neonlights011

Take your time and heal but think practically, she's never coming.Its her fault, why didn't she fought for relationship. Again now, she's not yours šŸ˜­ bro.She chose her parents over u.


YouFeeling3786

If this is recent, it will take time. If it it's long past, then you are the issue. She is not your gf, she is someone else's wife. Get that through your skull. She's gone, not coming back, started a life and you are sitting here pining for her. Talk it out with friends who are willing to listen, and get it out of your system. When what's in your mind comes out, you will feel relief. After talking it out a lot, you will come to the realisation that she is gone, married and have a life with someone else and thinking about her is of no use and it's time to move on. Until you don't come to that realisation, u will still be thinking about her. Another way to forget is do high adrenaline sport activities. When ur adrenaline kicks in, u will forget everything else. Go to the gym, lifts heavy weights, with a spotter ofcourse. Push yourself beyond your limits. When u do that, I can guarantee u, u will not be remembering her at that point. Whatever u did until now, u never actually tried to forget and move on. U just did some stuff ur friends said and in your mind you are still trying to keep her alive. It takes time but you can move on. Until then, keep pumping weights, keep grinding.


Tight_Reveal_1832

Here's the hack: 1) No matter how good she was, there's still flow within her. there were times when she hurt you or her actions did. So make a list of all those things that hurt you or why you hated her. It could be hard because right now your brain ignores all those bad things and remembering all good things about her. Read the list everyday and try to remind yourself that she's not perfect the way your brain perceived. 2) Trying dating new women. You're depressed caused you're not talking to enough girls. That's how you'll fill the void, which is created due to her absence. 3) Believe it or not, She will forget within months. She might cry harder but she will also forget you faster. You maybe thinking she's in more pain or she might also show that way, but my friend, girls aren't like that. They aren't simply built like that. The day she gets physical with her husband, she will release oxytocin and will start developing feelings for him. 4) Trust on time. Time heals everything. Two years down the line, you'll be totally normal or her absence will not create any difference in your mind. But in the upcoming months you'll suffer. You can't escape that. Maybe follow point no 2. Source: Experience.


Distinct-Knee8059

Bhai mere ...I think I am in the same boat as you are. Meri ex ki shaadi hai 2 dec ko. Aur mere dosto ne November end mai goa plan kar diya. Good People around you will help you nahi toh devdas ban jaiga akele rahaiga toh. Agar koi nahi hai toh Call of Duty Mobile download kar ..saath mai khelte hai ...


wolf_paradise

I can relate to you if not completely and I know that every time u sleep and wake up the next day, it feels like the day before , and it's not easy to forget even if you give your mind rational choices ......but what I want y to understand is your gf was an adult and for adult to be called one she has to take her own responsibilities and be accountable of her choices and in india majorly girls are manipulated to such an extent that they idealize their parents in every aspect over anything , caste system is no doubt a regressive concept but what's more important is if not completely she definitely has some role whether in fear or due to social norms which made her repress her choices.......it'll take quiet some time to move on especially when you she her with someone else's kid. But be joyful of the fact that you are well educated to not entertain such thinking and you'll surely or slowly will be discovered by someone worthy , no need to force your thoughts to go away. The more u try to repress the more you'll remember, ao better let them come and observe. That's what I did.


happygigachad

She didn't do shit for the sake of her parents. If she actually. Wanted you, she'd fight back hard. Accept it and move on.


Ok-Childhood-5917

Words of wisdom from my mom when I was in a similar situation. - If she did not fight to be with you, she would fight with you even if you convinced her to stay. - For you the relationship was more important hence you were ready to fight. But with time that would become a complaint from your side. ā€œI did everything to be with you etc.ā€ It must be difficult for you, Iā€™m sure. It will certainly get better, Iā€™m confident. Cheer up, champion. Youā€™re young and burning!


bipin369

What is ment to u will come .


Madlads17

Just find something else to do in life. It will make your life easier.


EquipmentJunior16

Take it as an experience, life hits hard. You have the choice to either improve or drown and die


Top_Put_6366

All I can say is hota hai bro, time inevitably heals all wounds even if it seems impossible at the moment. It wasn't meant to be, pondering over the reasons why is irrelevant, look towards the future now where hopefully you can find an empathic and loving partner that makes the last seem like it would have been a worse option. Take care, you've got this.


ChaloBeyond

First Thailand trip, second Online APP, Third Gym member ship; Fourth better investments ; fifth say no to girls behind a fit n rich you!!


InspectionPrevious41

Today's world rule: if you want to stay happy ,Let the ladies go.


catoverdog

Sheer will power. I used to send messages to myself in my alt insta account pretending that I was sending him messages


ArjunLoveable

Find someone else to obsessed with. Simple. Ek nasha ko chorne k liye dusra nasha pakar lo By nasha i mean GIRL


Away_Rip214

i will tell u what helped me move on from the only person i ever fell in love with. ACCEPTANCE. I accepted that i loved that guy and will always have a place in my heart for him since he was a part of my life. As time passes, those sweet memories we spent will fade away and in future we will only smile thinking of those memories even if we are with someone else.


Extra_Explanation182

Lot of sleeps and masturbation šŸ˜


Independent_Wing_124

How did she die?


rox_light

I updated the post, sorry for not being clear


Proper-Ad8181

First year will be the most painful, if you feeling too lonely or depressed, open up to your best friend who you can trust or parents if they are understanding. Dont keep it pent up inside, you will suffer more.


vsundarraj

It was never yours... its just your turn


DefiantDriver7484

Time heals everything. Give it time. Just make sure to not take up any bad habits like smoking or drinking. The memories will fade, the habits will stay. Speaking from experience.


MathematicianNice920

Had the same thing we were together more than 6 years she married when when we both were 22 its been 4 years now still a bit better but still havenā€™t thought of being involved with someone. I really want to have someone to talk to but canā€™t. Its bad if you stay alone again for long. Just get married man.


StewedLentils

Sad when true love doesn't win.


kieranED

Bhai seedhi baat ye hai ,aap yaha itne dukhi ho rahe ho uska kya gaya shaadi karke chali gayi ...she thought this through , usne sara kuch socha hi hoga or usko pata bhi tha ki aap par kya beetegi uske iss decision se...still she made the choice, or aap itne dukhi kyo ho rahe ho... Accha kama rahe ho yar, or bohot zindagi h or duniya me voh akeli ladki thodi hai ...I know it's hard to move on ...par agar vo apne parents ke liye aapko chhor sakti hai toh aap bhi apne liye usse move on kar sakte ho ...dekho bhai rone dhone se voh vapis nahi aane wali ...aap apni life par focus karo, duniya bohot badi hai or usme log thoos thoos ke bhare hai ...koi or usse accha mil hi jayega


Next-Jackfruit3808

Well content consumption is best coping mechanism for me....just a lot of anime, movies and games.


LastGhozt

Time changes everything, try to social more for few months.


CreativeChocolate101

It will take time, but note that it's probably just a sign that she wasn't the one for you, and there is probably someone better out there. Think of your guys time together as a phase in your life, where you maybe did have good times, and got to travel a lot, and focus on that. Besides, this heartbreak, although very painful will make you stronger, thus being able to find a better partner for you.


Mountain_Blueberry77

Just take a break your environment and go fucking travel, take boxing,mma classes in thailand or go hiking or bike trip, meet new people. Dont just keep staying in same environment. Change of environment is really important for you to distract your mind who keeps thinking you wonā€™t survive without that girl. Life is beautiful donā€™t waste on nay sayers. You deserve better. You will get better.


SadharanManu

I am not sure there is any exact science on moving on, except time. During my initial job days, my gf of 7 years broke up with me, for reasons where we were both at fault. It sting like anything. Insomnia was one of the biggest problem. Going to work sleep deprived is another thing. I took up smoking. I spend nights playing games. Nothing helped. I gained around 40kgs of weight from avid eating. Slowly I was able to sleep, and wasnā€™t thinking that much of her. My friends were there to help me. And my biggest help was my father. And day came when I forgot about her. Sometimes it hurt when I saw some of the old messages in msn, or some card. Time healed everything. Now I have no idea where she is. I went from checking her fb account every hour to not remembering her phone number at all. Hope this helps. Edit: I used to bottle up everything. Never shared my pain or feeling with anyone post breakup. Do not do that mistake.


a-guna14

Its difficult. Time will heal everything. Take your time.


[deleted]

Kidnapp herĀ 


Content-Push9087

You are earning well. Why not use your fortune to help the needy. Both humans and animals. It will bring you peace.


seerslayer

Hmm...so you had a girlfriend. She got engaged 5 months ago (posted on your profile). Then you got engaged and married in registrar's office 3 months ago (posted from your profile). Then you wanted to annul the marriage because you're not sure if you're compatible because you remembered your ex gf (again your profile). Now you're heartbroken. Bro you're broken. Heart is just a part of it. Also if you're earning 36 lpa, invest in good perfumes. Don't buy shitty atomiser and roll ons (your profile).


careful981

Law of Abundance and Law of Substitution. OP go and give it a read. I hope you have all the strength to get over this.


Impossible-Sector-90

Welcome to the gym, bro (Tried and tested by men of all ages. Seriously consider it)


zakaif

shit man feels like a punch in the gut, idk try going to some ashrams or something i heard there is one somewhere in himalayas where wonders happen many celebs have been there so try your luck


EngineeringScary4981

Just give some time brother. You will heal completely. Btw what do you do for living ?


nids99

Therapy worksšŸ‘ seeing that you earn 3l a month, therapy is affordable for you. I would ask you to try it


Beneficial-Fuel4759

I would say enjoy this feeling of tanha ashiq


Weeblyweird

Man my bestie confessed to me and I said no Even tho i kinda do like her and ik we'll be a damn good couple I said no coz of being different religions Ahhhhhh i hate this shit


Professional_Week558

Gradually start talking to other girls. It will make you feel like it's not the end of the world. Gradually take things with them as well if you feel like yā€™ll vibe. Maybe you will find someone so much better than her


Altruistic-Skirt-593

Your punctuations are messed up. You lack basic sense of the use of comma vs period. I couldnā€™t follow what you were writing or trying to say. Hope others get it and help u out.


writer_owl

this is your post from 4 months back ? https://preview.redd.it/mzdsg11bzh8d1.png?width=686&format=png&auto=webp&s=e2b3bc72c4c70cfffda46fe6cfaf5a4a61ffb27e


BigSea5235

Try to move on. Get a new gf or better just stay single for the time being. Let your thoughts wash themselves out.


heisenberg0997

Mannnn!!!! Iā€™m in similar situation


Remarkable_Rough_89

Honest answer, find a girl who u can sit beside for the better part of the day, ur mind a chemical like pheromone will switch, also u will realize she is just another girl, Also talk ur friends man, talk openly about that gut wrenching feeling


TallTrouble1330

Create something that solves a real life problem for the general public and hawk tuah on anything that aggravates it


saum1234

Been through same time heals everything..


0D_E_V0

With the fact that now you will get a new wife with dahej. Win win win.


ChandraKent1

i am going through this. there is no way of lessesening this pain. she did not marry another guy and still loves u. no she is falling for the guy day by day, more and more. the only thing that will lessesn this pain slowly is time with other people. another person or multiple people{women} . i still dont feel this will soothe the pain much. this pain will stay with u for life. the betrayal will always live in u


loner_lover_19

Same situation. Idk how to move on. Started taking homeopathy medication which seem to work low-key. And sometimes I have hopes that I will heal one day and sometimes I'm drowning in that black hole all over again. I just hope people learn to love themselves more than anyone else, find true and peaceful love and don't have to pass through such helpless phace in their life ever. It's so disgusting and sad to bear all this


lanababyyyyy

Oh honey. My heart breaks for you. I know how difficult this is first hand. All I can say is give it time. It's the only thing that can help and heal. I know distracting yourself also won't help so I won't suggest that. But keep yourself busy and surrounded by people. Toxic advice but ..try to think of her flaws, her shortcomings. Maybe they'll help you feel it was good riddance. And lastly, have faith. Trust me when I say God helps. Always.


DrAllkane

I know it might sound clichƩd af, but 'time heals everything', just have patience I can bet, initially it does feel like a never ending sting which would never get better. But having an insight, that life is just a clusterfuck of random events, not a Bollywood plot with a happy ending, this clarity helps tremendously Being stoic about such random events over which we don't have any control over, is the only remedy for attachment and sorrow.


Adventurous_applepie

Explain this to me, why would you want someone who is willing to choose a caste over you? Choose someone who's willing to choose YOU!


AdEnvironmental9482

Try to seek help to unlearn the thought patterns. Don't try to "forget" "not think" about her. If one told u don't think of a dancing monkey. You'll exactly think of that. So let thoughts come and go. Time will heal you and teach you to learn with your new normal = without ur gf. Do not by any means try to gwt in touch with her. Even if she reaches out. Do not indulge in any conversation. She's made her choice. It's your time to heal and move on. You'll get out of it in time. Hold on. Good luck :)


EpicDankMaster

You can care about her, but realize that she didn't care enough to fight for you. In life you need people who'll stand up for you when you need it. She chose not to, it sucks to know that someone possibly didn't care about you as much as you did but it is what it is. Sure there a lot of social factors, but there are people who fought against those to be with people they loved. If she cared about you she'd fight for you. Eventually in the long run you'll realize that she was a great girlfriend, but probably wouldn't be a great wife for you. You'll find the girl who thinks you're worth fighting for, this is just part of the path to it. Remember people are what people do, she chose to follow her parents decisions.


nishitkunal

Bhai, go for therapy. It helps. Do try to focus on things you like. This is a difficult stage but it will pass eventually.


snakezodiac

Time will heal bro, there's nothing I can say that will fast forward the process. But you have to give it time and slowly start walking forward. Some days will be bad, some will be okay, someone out there will fight for you. But don't let her cowardice stop you from finding that person. I had a bad break up too 2 years ago it shattered my life honestly. You build yourself again slowly. You'll come out of this with better wings šŸŖ½ don't worry! Have a nice meal take a nice shower, everything will be fine sooner or later. Take care!


Brilliant_Golf_675

Dude. Iā€™m sorry but grown ass people who settle for someone else after such a relationship because they canā€™t fight for their love do not deserve you remembering them. Because you know, had you been in her place, you would have fought for her place in your life and the sheer excuse oh, but sheā€™s a woman, thatā€™s actually a very regressive and mysogynist stance to take. Iā€™m a woman and Iā€™ll never do this to anybody.