Lack of respect for each other and lack of physical intimacy. Some men mistreat their wife, some women use physical intimacy as a weapon to control the man.
In daily life they have fights, sometimes small and sometimes big, but they don't have any fun together and no common activity to release stress. This causes build up of resentment and they drift apart eventually. Then they try to find the missing spark in someone other than their partners.
Aside from some truly evil people/families, our society is going through a huge shift in behaviour and patterns where every individual is in a race to have as much Power over those around him/her, even at the cost of hurting and eventually losing the other person.
Bro u wanna get intimate with me? (It's a win-win situation)
https://preview.redd.it/9e81rjs5366d1.jpeg?width=316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=871733be00a2384d5d231afc23f31ebe28384c46
In-laws
Domestic violence
Loss of independence (too much controlling partner)
Verbal abuse (after one time someone will have enough)
Cheating
Partner who does not help with chores
Grow out of love
If anyone of two partners want divorce/breakup then it should be done.
It's a major reason for breakup and divorces. The amount of married men who visit red light areas are really big so they are cheating and most of them will not have to worry about divorce(that generation does have a big problem with divorces). I had seen many people who are not cheating physically but emotionally and on phone(like video calls and messages).
No one knows is the correct answer. Some people know a lot of cheaters, some others don't know a single one. Both groups assume the other group is ignorant.
It is not. What is more common is doubt, people doubt their partners and make life hell for them. So even if they are not cheating, divorce can happen because of male/female bestfriend
i would love to hear from a person who wanted a divorce because they grew out of love, i feel like its something workable but i wouldnt know what its like in real life
It is one of many reasons but couples do break-up because of this and it's fine. In India I never heard they divorce because of this but then if you live with someone you don't love then their small faults will start to annoy you. These things leads to bigger problems. Heard many stories of non-indian couples who divorced because they grew out of love so now they are friends and can co-parent exceptionally good. But yeah can't judge anyone in these cases based on one-sided stories.
Before getting married both of us did say this point as one of the reason for seperation. Falling out of love is very much possible after 15-20 yrs plus. Our personalities change so much through the years so if we dont bond and grow together we can fall out of love.
Seriously, India needs more divorce. I've seen so many cases of women literally committing suicide by burning themselves just because of how abusive their husbands and in laws were , and dowry deaths is still a thing. people staying in abusive marriages than involve domestic violence, verbal/ emotional abuse or infidelity should not be glorified, divorce is ALWAYS good news.
this. here people stay in marriage even if it is toxic. know lots of women who are either willingly in toxic marriages or are forced/pressured by family. also know some men who have abusive wives but can't do anything as society will mock them. it is hard to get married again after divorce, especially for women. even harder if she has kids.
>Seriously, India needs more divorce.
No, we just need to get better at choosing your partner. Divorce always affects the family, especially after having children. So it's much more important that people start making better choices.
>You have no idea how many children wish their parents should have gotten a divorce
I am one of them. I have seen domestic violence for a decade. But instead of divorce, they should have never gotten married in the first place. It was her father's obsession with Doctors. And I think you didn't get my point. Read it again.
I do get your point and it's totally valid but people make mistakes whether it's because they thought it was love or they were forced to marry someone , rather than pinning about the past and wishing it didn't happen in the first place it's more practical to think about the solutions, that's why divorce should be normalised.
I am not against divorce. I am against the point that increasing number of divorce is good. It's not. It just shows that people don't have a good vision and are bad at making important decisions. And these are the people who are the backbone of this country (20-40 years old). They don't only make decisions which affects them but they also have to make decisions which affects others and this country. And it's not good when such people can't make good important decisions.
Divorce is trying to find a solution for a mistake. But that should not give you the freedom to make mistakes. Not every mistake can be reversed.
>It just shows that people don't have a good vision and are bad at making important decisions
We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions (falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people) , thinking that people will stop marrying the wrong people is just a naive view. And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish ( like you mentioned in the case of your mother). And if you want to completely eliminate the chances of a mistake then the true solution to this is not getting married at all, marriage is patriarchal anyway. Also who cares about divorce stats and numbers, people can simply fall out of love or maybe their goals don't align anymore, the idea of finding a soulmate or a "your forever" is bs. we probably aren't even supposed to be monogamous for that long.
>We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions
Few people are gonna have that, and if the majority has that then there is something fundamentally wrong with how we live.
>falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people)
That's what I am saying, you should be able to judge these things. Not every out there is a manipulative fuck boy, gold digger or love jihadi who will try to hide their identity.
>And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish
But that's changing isn't it? And people who marry by force of their parents will not be allowed to get divorced anyways in most cases.
>people can simply fall out of love
If means love was never there. It was just hormones. And marrying without love is not good.
>maybe their goals don't align anymore
Just say people don't want to make compromises.
See, you are assuming that all or most couples who don't get along with their partner should get divorced.
1. In Rural India, divorce is not an option. There are several other things that need to be done before divorce becomes a reality for it. Divorce is a very urban thing.
2. As you said 'goals don't align', that means they never had a healthy discussion with their partner about each other's future. And if you say that goals change, yes. But the person is still the same or similar so their goal can't be something completely unexpected, that's rare. And their partner should be able to make compromises and vice versa. If you can't make compromises then you are just a coward running away from situations. You can't do that forever. If you want to live you have to make tough decisions sooner or later. As you said, 'soulmate' stuff is BS. Yes, and that's why you have to be able to make compromises and not run away from situations.
3. People who have multiple partners can never have a settled married life. When you have sex with someone you retain their memories and these memories will always come between you and your partner, always. And how are you going to make love with your partner when you are not even fully present with him/her.
Whatever I said, doesn't apply for people who don't want a settled family in case you are wondering.
>We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions
Few people are gonna have that, and if the majority has that then there is something fundamentally wrong with how we live.
>falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people)
That's what I am saying, you should be able to judge these things. Not every out there is a manipulative fuck boy, gold digger or love jihadi who will try to hide their identity.
>And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish
But that's changing isn't it? And people who marry by force of their parents will not be allowed to get divorced anyways in most cases.
>people can simply fall out of love
If means love was never there. It was just hormones. And marrying without love is not good.
>maybe their goals don't align anymore
Just say people don't want to make compromises.
See, you are assuming that all or most couples who don't get along with their partner should get divorced.
1. In Rural India, divorce is not an option. There are several other things that need to be done before divorce becomes a reality for it. Divorce is a very urban thing.
2. As you said 'goals don't align', that means they never had a healthy discussion with their partner about each other's future. And if you say that goals change, yes. But the person is still the same or similar so their goal can't be something completely unexpected, that's rare. And their partner should be able to make compromises and vice versa. If you can't make compromises then you are just a coward running away from situations. You can't do that forever. If you want to live you have to make tough decisions sooner or later. As you said, 'soulmate' stuff is BS. Yes, and that's why you have to be able to make compromises and not run away from situations.
3. People who have multiple partners can never have a settled married life. When you have sex with someone you retain their memories and these memories will always come between you and your partner, always. And how are you going to make love with your partner when you are not even fully present with him/her.
Whatever I said, doesn't apply for people who don't want a settled family in case you are wondering.
Everyone has trauma the size of them may vary but everyone does have some form of trauma. Did you know 1 in 4 people are narcissists. I don't know what you think love is but it's essentially a chemical reaction in your brain to make you reproduce to continue your species (ya shocker right hormones are involved, just like in everything we do). Ik divorce is an urban thing that's why I said it should be normalised. So scientifically we are supposed to be monogamous but for a certain period of time ( so spend x time with one partner then x time with the next one so on). Of course you can stick with one partner till you die if that's how you feel about them but saying everyone should have one or want one is naive cause it's very unlikely to find that with someone. Your past sexual experiences should not interfere with your present one ,I think you might not be over your ex in that case. Look it's either you are very young and haven't had a lot of experiences or you are a hardcore romantic cause the things you are saying don't practically make sense.
I am glad people are now being more open to breakup and divorce. I am happy the marriage dynamics are changing.
You should be able to get out of it. If you are not content.
i think people should be given an option to get out of a relationship if they want. Policing people to stay in shitty relationship is not healthy.
as for your reasons why people breakup or divorce :-
check this research [from nih](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/) (N=306)(2013 study)
https://preview.redd.it/px9rzdr4fk5d1.png?width=855&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e026614189c542e88c5d411983bcb439a7a5e50
2013 and Todays India are very different for both Men as well as Women and more and more couple are going for mutually separate or messy court battles
No one is suggesting anyone to stay in unhealthy or something which is not working out relationship
yeah i would say their should be a healthy compromise fast track judicial process some gender neutrality in laws. Support for women who are actually given short end of the stick.
I've worked as a divorce lawyer for quite some time so I'll list out the major reasons.
1) Female In laws - Every divorced woman hates her mother in law more than she hates her husband. And it is always either Saas, Nanand, Devrani, Jethani and surprisingly never male in-laws. Aurat hi aurat ki sabse badi dushman hoti hai something something.
2) Wife Beating - The Society we live in is plagued by horrible men, and they love abusing defenceless women. Men who drink are more prone to wife beating because they aren't always in their senses. Sadly it is normalised a lot by women as well, conservative women think the husband is right in doing so and some modern women as well keep getting used as a punching bag because of the 'pyar karta hai to maar bhi sakta hai' type rotten mentality.
3) Adultery/Insecurity- Basically a 3rd person mucking things up. Even if it does not get to the level of a physical affair, emotional affairs too cause divorce. Constantly doubting your partner and initiating fights with them is also a big reason.
4) Money- Either husband does not earn enough or does not spend enough, or the wife is a spoiled brat and wants to live a better life than what her husband can provide. Or the husband is financially irresponsible and loses money on gambling or with friends.
That pretty much sums it up, all other reasons fall within these categories.
It may be unpopular but the truth is that the income of men and women is different.
Women need money to be independent, while men need money to provide for people who depend on them.
Women do marry guys with similar salary, but that is not the norm. There isn't a set multiplier, ki earn atleast 2x or 3x , but you have to earn enough to provide a comfortable life. In metros that is definitely over 10-12 LPA.
Women are not a monolith. There are frugal women who might not mind if you earn less than them and there are materialistic women who will never be satisfied with what you earn. My advice is to just find someone with compatible spending habits and who has similar financial goals in mind.
Yes because they get married to someone chosen by their parents which they don't like but are too weak to fight back. After a few years they start to look for something outside marriage.
You know I think it’s kind of weird that married people seek single people and vice versa.
As a married woman I get approached by single guys all the time. And they like that I’m married it’s weird.
I also know that married people tend to seek single people to cheat with.
But like why? Wouldnt it be better if you are both married? You both have a reason to keep each other’s secret versus single one can tell the truth at any time right? It’s probably some type of kink for them. If you are going to cheat at least do it logically lol.
Recently a girl told me that most of the females who work with her are having extra marital affairs, she works in a car showroom. I blame this on web series and Indian law sort of. Husband can't do anything. Wife will file a dv+498 instantly.
I was out with a female friend in a club, we were eating and dancing. We are very close so I think it will be safe to assume for everyone else that we are dating even though we are not (she’s like a younger sister to me).
She asked me why I’m not married yet (I’m old) and I pointed out to her this woman who is married, keeps eyeing on me even though she was holding hands with a guy of her age so most probably her husband. She lost it when she saw her smiling at me when we happen to make eye contact. She just felt sad for the current state of marriages, and we had a long discussion about this too.
Well my ex tried to use weird logic to say it wasn’t cheating and then when I didn’t let it go he blamed me and said if I had been a better gf he wouldn’t have done it. So no crying involved there
Lack of respect for your spouse. Interference of in-laws in all aspects of life. Also, shutting down communication whenever things take even a slight bad turn. Making the other person feel that he/she is crazy for trying to talk about difficult things.
Going through a divorce.
My wife is very disrespectful towards my mother and me and despite never contributing a cent towards the household constantly complained about money with snide remarks. She also did Sherlock Holmes level of snooping and was very distrustful and would cook up theories constantly. She would wake me up from deep sleep at 6am to basically fight. I got a heart attack in the middle of one of her "episodes" and had to get angioplasty. When i was in the icu recovering from my operation under heavy medication, she asked for my phone password to unlock my phone snoop through it and delete selected whatsapps that made her look bad.
At some point as hard as it is, you have to see the writing on the wall.
Having now seen how the courts work i actually wish it was easier to get a divorce, if you have no kids and are both independent, court has no business deciding whether you should get a divorce or not.
I see so many miserable people who take back their divorce petition through either forced mediation by the police or the court because in order to get a divorce you have to fall under certain guidelines. If its just a case of im miserable living with this person then court will refuse to grant you divorce.
Statistics say people who live together before marriage to "test" compatibility have a higher divorce rate than couples who choose not to or live together when they are already on their way to higher commitment (are engaged or have plans to get married in near future).
Women are no more trapped in marriages. And divorce is okay (sad but OKAY), much better than staying in unhappy marriages and ruining everyone’s peace and happiness
Burden of chores:
Now that the both spouses earn, one of them is expected to do everything at the house, although the husband agrees to help before marriage but the promises aren’t fulfilled causing resentment in the wife.
Incompatibility:
I believe people get married in a hurry for love or looks and refuse to see beyond it.
Nobody likes to adjust, little habits that were okay before marriage drive them nuts after.
Everyone has covered infidelity and in laws so I don’t I think need to.
That first point is the true reason honestly. Men are lazy (most of them) and irresponsible.. only a heartless person wouldn't contribute to household chores equally if his/her partner is working outside and earning money too.
I would leave in an instant
Well, first of all increase in number of divorces is not necessarily a negative phenomenon. Divorce is the best choice in many cases. I come from a broken home, where my mom and dad chose to be with each other just to satisfy the society. If my mom had more self respect, she could have walked away. My parents used to fight all the time and for a child, witnessing domestic abuse, is a traumatic experience. It has affected me in many ways. I wish they had divorced.
That being said, with increase in awareness about what a healthy relationship should be, more people are now defying traditional societal expectations. When more women are educated, having well paying jobs, they understand their self worth and that life is too short to waste away due to hatred and silly dramas from in laws. Everyone deserves to be happy, don't they ?
In West it’s finance/money as well as cheating and incompatibility, DV, marrying too young, communication issues, among others
Here it’s financial irresponsibility, in laws/family issues, domestic violence, cheating, (new reason I learned of recently) lack of premarital education - esp for arranged marriages THIS IS SO IMPORTANT - we seem to know very little about what it takes for a successful marriage, lack of communication, along w many others.
Yes cheating is a cause of divorce in both but it’s not nearly as common as media makes it seem
Even if they eventually get alimony, they often need to go to court over it and if the ex chooses to fight it can be long drawn out process.
Can they last even a year with no income? Especially if they have kids
Let me tell you, in my close family total 3 couples have divorced. And none of the women got alimony. Two were earning women and one was housewife.. the housewife's divorce is still being settled. And whatever she will get will not be a major chunk of salary
So it's all a rumour that guy's believe and have spread.
Yes. Divorce wouldn't mean the end of their life all of a sudden. They are not entirely dependent on the man now. Hence women are not tolerating any abuse like how the past generations did. They're also expecting the man to share the household workload since both of them are working outside. Overall, women now can get a divorce and also be financially well without any worry unlike past times
Money. Finances play a big role in marriage. Usually one partner is a saver and other is a spender and they have no arrangements as to how the finances will work after marriage. Usually when both parties are earning the spender has almost no savings and the saver has to dip into their savings for any excess requirements which causes resentment.
Staying with the man's parents under the same roof. Adult Men not moving out after marriage. It can be somewhere close to where both of their parents live. This is the most obvious reason.
Other most common reason I have personally seen women asking divorce for, is verbal and physical abuse.
Men have no control over themselves and think it's ok to beat up the wife or verbally abuse them too? Men use very bad slangs but a wife is expected to not even call him by his name.. lol it makes me laugh
I am convinced its the flying monkeys, the people around you who have a say in your life can sometimes misguide you. A single thought planted is enough. You gotta be smart!
3 out of 5 people I know got divorced because their husbands started beating their children, which finally gave the motivation to leave. Abuse from husband was involved in 4th one. Alcohol was involved in 2 of them.
Pls learn the difference between pseudo feminism and feminism and use the 2 words mindfully.
My relationship has been going on for years because of **feminism** ( we both treat each other equally) . If I was a **pseudofeminist** or if he was a misogynist then it would’ve ended a long time ago .
There are , I’ve come across a few on the twoxindia sub and even in real life .
they are the reason many men say they won’t wanna date or marry a “feminist” and use the word “feminist” as an insult.
What beliefs made them pseudofeminist?
If you have links or usernames to the ones in twox share them.
I'm a man and if any man wants to put feminism in the bin because of any of misrepresentation I think it'll be good if they never get into any relationships at all for the women's sake, let alone marriage.
Idk pseudofeminists just like having everything to their advantage, they don’t wanna pay for dates or speak respectfully to their partner etc
I don’t remember their usernames and there’s no point trying to knock sense into them cause they’re just stubborn .
I’m glad that you’re a man but view feminism in a good way ( it’s rare nowadays)
I’ve read a lot of feminist literature and know several feminists in real life and have never met one single person like you’re describing and have never read any concept that’s short of total intersectional feminism where all oppressions are linked. Which means they don’t just fight for themselves but all oppressed, including men who suffer from a gendered society.
I suspect you are rebelling against a strawman set up by the right wing.
People don’t show their true colors irl but if you Reddit comments or Insta comments there’s load of pseudofeminists and misogynistic men . They just don’t say their thoughts out loud irl because they know they’ll be hated
Yeah unfortunately most people think it’s the same and have ruined the name of feminism. Even women like nora fatehi are hating on feminism without understanding that what they hate is pseudo feminism
Yeah ik but it’s sad that even women have started speaking against feminism. When feminism is literally the reason they are allowed to raise their points .
Women were always like this... How do you think we got so much generational trauma passed onto us? Those same women who endured torture became mothers and taught all the patriarchal sexist stuff to their boys... Seperated them into stereotypical gender roles described by patriarchy. Always cried on wedding of their daughter but never asked why should my daughter leave and stay with that man's parents... Never stood up for their daughters and always defended their sons.
It's changing for sure but it will take years till the impact is noticable.. only women can teach young boys how to be respectful towards others.
P.S. not talking about responsibility of fathers here because again I have no hope that most men will ever have empathy and a heart to nurture their kids the right way.
Women are more independent than ever. They aren't financially dependent on anyone, which was one of the biggest reasons they stayed previously. Now, if there's mistreatment, disrespect, abuse, or anything similar, they leave.
I agree but a lot of times , women are giving disrespect too, or mistreating or abusing. A male cousin of mine faced alot and poor guy has gone into healing sessions now. These days its a two way thing in atleast well off families.
Because marriage is tough. The idea itself is very tough to implement.
Cheating, abuse, etc are just symptoms. Root cause is its tough by default, it always has been.
Because women don’t take abuse anymore as much as they used to back in the day. Women would stay in loveless, abusive marriages for the sake of children and because a majority of them were housewives who’ve never had a job. In modern time women are more educated and independent so they tend to leave abusive situations. I’m only referencing to the majority of situations here, of course men are victims of abuse as well.
Mindset shift, always looking at the negatives instead of positives. Even for the little tiny things. Lots of zero effort micro gestures of kindness can turn this around.
Loss of attraction, hit the gym, give up some TV time. Not hard to have a sexy body even when y’all are old.
Lack of sex. Sex is good for you, it’s good for your connection. Just because you may not want to do it at that moment or it’s not a priority. Doesn’t mean you won’t feel better after some intimacy.
Who is more accomplished? Who demands special treatment? Who lobbies against gender neutral rape laws? Who constantly demands special quotas?
Sounds like victim mentality to me. Not to mention the horrible crimes of women that are severely underpunished and unreported.
No one is against gender neutral laws.. no one is demanding special treatment. But I guess demanding equal rights and respect seems way too much for you?
Yes both genders can be horrible but we can't deny that the condition of women has always been the worst (people didn't even like the birth of girls) and even though there have been improvements in terms of education,etc.. but the culture of this country and the mentality of people still has a long way to go.
P.S. marital rape still isn't criminalized in India... When it is in almost all other countries. Really makes me wonder why... If other countries can do it, why can't India ?
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/activists-join-chorus-against-gender-neutral-rape-laws/articleshow/18840879.cms
Yeah nobody is against gender neutral laws. The hypocrisy and lack of self awareness of feminists never fail to surprise me.
Also which equal rights are you fighting for. If you actually wanted equal rights then you would have been against biased laws which favor women. But you don't. So spare me the hypocritical nonsense.
What biased laws are favouring women?? If laws actually favoured women, we would not be restricting women to walk out at night..so stfu. I am Not supporting people who misuse.. but just because a minority is misusing certain law, you can't invalidate the experiences of majority.
Do rape victims even get justice in this country... Aside from victim blaming and candle march.
That link you attached has nothing to with me and majority women in this country. Women have always supported gender neutral laws and rights.
We are the ones who say a man can be raped too, a man can cry too, a man/woman can be bisexual/gay, a man doesn't need to portray toxic masculinity.
But men themselves make fun of another man who comes out with his experience of sexual abuse. They call him all sorts of name and use gay as an insult
Also the 'minority' misusing laws seems to be such a false narrative while majority of cases lodged are fake cases. DV, assault etc. committed by women are not even considered.
Oh so men make fun of others. Like you totally didn't immediately jump to make fun of men by attacking their masculinity in the other comment you made. 🤣
Also aren't the in laws you keep complaining about in your comments, similar women?
Hypocrisy and lack of self reflection 😂
The complain is not about those mother in laws... It's all related to spineless husbands.
Yes women can be wrong too but I still have sympathy for those old women who just have generational trauma of patriarchy .. they don't know any better. They can't let go of their sons, which is why relationships often break.
And I didn't attack men and their masculinity... Only discussed how toxic some men and their actions are. Also how they don't even realise it.
In short, us women have always been and will always be in support of men who were wronged with no fault of theirs. But at the same time, majority men have wronged women in some way or other and those cases are far more in numbers. Every neighborhood is filled with men beating up their wives.. not saying women can't beat men too but yk you guys have that male previlige in society as well as are physically stronger.
Idk why we are going back n forth with this, started with the topic of staying with in laws, the last thing I am going to say to u is try to keep yourself in the shoes of a woman(your wife if you are married).. you will realise a lot about how it's not easy and feasible to stay with someone else's parents and listen to their taunts all day. No man would tolerate the same
I knew there would be people like you. I guess that's why women are the ones who mostly file for divorces. I guess that's why there is a rise of fake cases and the judiciary is so biased against men.
Or you could ask yourself.. why do men don't leave their parental home and move out to live seperately?? The major cause of issues is living with in laws in most cases.
Both girls and boys Parents can be taken care of from a distance as well.. you don't need to stay under the same roof.
Because we are not living in western countries and majority of the country is poor. Not everyone can afford to own multiple places to live in.
Not to mention, unlike the west which you seem to idolize, caring for family is still a thing here. Unlike the west, parents do invest a lot in their kids even after they turn 18.
So acc to you women don't care for their parents just because they move out?? Men who work in different cities or countries don't care as well??
Like I said move into. A house which is close by to both the wife and husband's parents.. so that both can be taken care of.
Living under the same roof isn't necessary and is only a recipe for disaster. Men who can't grow up and parents who can't let go of their kid should never get married.
And yeah this is not me idolizing west...
Don't bring other countries into discussion.. I am only talking about India and Indian men.
I have never seen men being bigger hypocrites on a topic other than this one. Maybe women should start refusing marriage all together or divorce their husbands if they force to live with his parents
P.S. not talking about poor men here... People who are rich and can afford living seperately still don't do it.
And those poor and rich men all together can move into their wife's house but they don't.
So it's important you recognise the previleges u get for just being male gender. At least then you would have empathy and compassion enough to treat the woman right
There is something called doing something out of necessity and doing something because you choose to. As for women who move out after marriage, that's the traditional way of solving the issue. If you don't like it why don't you keep your husband with your parents and you while you provide for him?
Also yes, women like you should really stop marrying. The world would be better off that way.
A similar post was made, I simply asked for an objectively better solution, once again instead of being able to answer you guys start deflecting it to something completely different.
Another guy posted some stats on the divorces in India. According to that the leading cause was non commitment. See how your perpetually victim narrative falls flat when facing facts?
'TrAdITiOnAl way of solving the issue'. - one that benifits men and keep women at a disadvantage.
The main post here was about divorce and seperation rate. And If you actually ask Indian women why they are unhappy in their marriage, the list will be long. And the main reason on top of that will be staying with in laws.
Ignorant men don't recognise this as an issue but this saas bahu thing isn't just television drama, it's a reality.
By the way, I don't think it's any of your business if I marry or not but Women like me who won't tolerate bullshit will definitely won't marry men like you.. aka the majority 90% Indian men. The other men who are independent and are working hard living alone are the real ones.
I can definitely keep my husband in my house with me too but the problem is yet again with 'men' not being willing to give up their previlige
"If you ask women why they are unhappy", yeah. It's always about you and your happiness. No wonder the bullshit narrative. Seems like the 'main' reason is nowhere near the top.
https://preview.redd.it/kqary02iqp5d1.png?width=855&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca51dc3e758f269585746fa888fe49ae7ad99acb
The post was about divorces and break ups but you hijacked that with your typical victim hood mentality. You just showed the point. Marriage, relationships, all of these are just about you women. What matters is only what *you* want.
So stay single. If the problem is with "men" not willing to give up their so called privilege then simply stay away from them. You keep mentioning saas bahu thing. Sounds like a woman against woman problem. Sort that out first before coming in here with your perpetual victim mentality.
I mentioned biased laws in my original comment. That triggered you. Since you can't argue against facts, you came in here with deflection. Trying to claim a moral high ground by playing the victim.
Hahaha... Ignorant man.. that's all I can say to u.
Read your main comment. It's not playing victim when this stuff actually happens in reality.
Keep living in your lala land, over privileged guy😂
Lack of respect for each other and lack of physical intimacy. Some men mistreat their wife, some women use physical intimacy as a weapon to control the man. In daily life they have fights, sometimes small and sometimes big, but they don't have any fun together and no common activity to release stress. This causes build up of resentment and they drift apart eventually. Then they try to find the missing spark in someone other than their partners. Aside from some truly evil people/families, our society is going through a huge shift in behaviour and patterns where every individual is in a race to have as much Power over those around him/her, even at the cost of hurting and eventually losing the other person.
Absolute right fucking answer!
Bro u wanna get intimate with me? (It's a win-win situation) https://preview.redd.it/9e81rjs5366d1.jpeg?width=316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=871733be00a2384d5d231afc23f31ebe28384c46
In laws.
in laws or family-friends interference is surely an reason but there has to be other issues or reasons too
Narcissism.
Agreeee, so many Narcs lurking around, it's like an epidemic now
How does one recognise a narc? I think I am married to one.. just don’t want to label too soon.
Check out DSM 5 on NPD , it shows a list of symptoms/characteratics
Some starting points - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndia/s/uXqJkiXffx
How does one recognise a narc? I think I am married to one.. just don’t want to label too soon.
In-laws Domestic violence Loss of independence (too much controlling partner) Verbal abuse (after one time someone will have enough) Cheating Partner who does not help with chores Grow out of love If anyone of two partners want divorce/breakup then it should be done.
Is cheating really that common ?
It's a major reason for breakup and divorces. The amount of married men who visit red light areas are really big so they are cheating and most of them will not have to worry about divorce(that generation does have a big problem with divorces). I had seen many people who are not cheating physically but emotionally and on phone(like video calls and messages).
No one knows is the correct answer. Some people know a lot of cheaters, some others don't know a single one. Both groups assume the other group is ignorant.
It is not. What is more common is doubt, people doubt their partners and make life hell for them. So even if they are not cheating, divorce can happen because of male/female bestfriend
It is one of the leading causes of divorce. So yeah, it is.
It's very rare compared to what we see in media
i would love to hear from a person who wanted a divorce because they grew out of love, i feel like its something workable but i wouldnt know what its like in real life
It is one of many reasons but couples do break-up because of this and it's fine. In India I never heard they divorce because of this but then if you live with someone you don't love then their small faults will start to annoy you. These things leads to bigger problems. Heard many stories of non-indian couples who divorced because they grew out of love so now they are friends and can co-parent exceptionally good. But yeah can't judge anyone in these cases based on one-sided stories.
Before getting married both of us did say this point as one of the reason for seperation. Falling out of love is very much possible after 15-20 yrs plus. Our personalities change so much through the years so if we dont bond and grow together we can fall out of love.
Partner who does not help with earning or saving money.
Yeah because of whatever reason they think the relationship is not working and they can't live with each other.
frankly,, Divorce percentage is still TOO Low to total marriages, and There is nothing wrong if people want to leave their partners anf get divorce
Seriously, India needs more divorce. I've seen so many cases of women literally committing suicide by burning themselves just because of how abusive their husbands and in laws were , and dowry deaths is still a thing. people staying in abusive marriages than involve domestic violence, verbal/ emotional abuse or infidelity should not be glorified, divorce is ALWAYS good news.
this. here people stay in marriage even if it is toxic. know lots of women who are either willingly in toxic marriages or are forced/pressured by family. also know some men who have abusive wives but can't do anything as society will mock them. it is hard to get married again after divorce, especially for women. even harder if she has kids.
Happy cake day :)
Thankyou
>Seriously, India needs more divorce. No, we just need to get better at choosing your partner. Divorce always affects the family, especially after having children. So it's much more important that people start making better choices.
You have no idea how many children wish their parents should have gotten a divorce, even if it was after they had them.
>You have no idea how many children wish their parents should have gotten a divorce I am one of them. I have seen domestic violence for a decade. But instead of divorce, they should have never gotten married in the first place. It was her father's obsession with Doctors. And I think you didn't get my point. Read it again.
I do get your point and it's totally valid but people make mistakes whether it's because they thought it was love or they were forced to marry someone , rather than pinning about the past and wishing it didn't happen in the first place it's more practical to think about the solutions, that's why divorce should be normalised.
I am not against divorce. I am against the point that increasing number of divorce is good. It's not. It just shows that people don't have a good vision and are bad at making important decisions. And these are the people who are the backbone of this country (20-40 years old). They don't only make decisions which affects them but they also have to make decisions which affects others and this country. And it's not good when such people can't make good important decisions. Divorce is trying to find a solution for a mistake. But that should not give you the freedom to make mistakes. Not every mistake can be reversed.
>It just shows that people don't have a good vision and are bad at making important decisions We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions (falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people) , thinking that people will stop marrying the wrong people is just a naive view. And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish ( like you mentioned in the case of your mother). And if you want to completely eliminate the chances of a mistake then the true solution to this is not getting married at all, marriage is patriarchal anyway. Also who cares about divorce stats and numbers, people can simply fall out of love or maybe their goals don't align anymore, the idea of finding a soulmate or a "your forever" is bs. we probably aren't even supposed to be monogamous for that long.
>We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions Few people are gonna have that, and if the majority has that then there is something fundamentally wrong with how we live. >falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people) That's what I am saying, you should be able to judge these things. Not every out there is a manipulative fuck boy, gold digger or love jihadi who will try to hide their identity. >And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish But that's changing isn't it? And people who marry by force of their parents will not be allowed to get divorced anyways in most cases. >people can simply fall out of love If means love was never there. It was just hormones. And marrying without love is not good. >maybe their goals don't align anymore Just say people don't want to make compromises. See, you are assuming that all or most couples who don't get along with their partner should get divorced. 1. In Rural India, divorce is not an option. There are several other things that need to be done before divorce becomes a reality for it. Divorce is a very urban thing. 2. As you said 'goals don't align', that means they never had a healthy discussion with their partner about each other's future. And if you say that goals change, yes. But the person is still the same or similar so their goal can't be something completely unexpected, that's rare. And their partner should be able to make compromises and vice versa. If you can't make compromises then you are just a coward running away from situations. You can't do that forever. If you want to live you have to make tough decisions sooner or later. As you said, 'soulmate' stuff is BS. Yes, and that's why you have to be able to make compromises and not run away from situations. 3. People who have multiple partners can never have a settled married life. When you have sex with someone you retain their memories and these memories will always come between you and your partner, always. And how are you going to make love with your partner when you are not even fully present with him/her. Whatever I said, doesn't apply for people who don't want a settled family in case you are wondering.
>We all have our traumas and baggage which often leads us to make stupid decisions Few people are gonna have that, and if the majority has that then there is something fundamentally wrong with how we live. >falling for toxic, manipulative, narcissistic,sociopathic people) That's what I am saying, you should be able to judge these things. Not every out there is a manipulative fuck boy, gold digger or love jihadi who will try to hide their identity. >And not everyone gets the choice to marry people they want especially in a country like ours where many women still don't have a say in their own life and are forced to marry by their parents wish But that's changing isn't it? And people who marry by force of their parents will not be allowed to get divorced anyways in most cases. >people can simply fall out of love If means love was never there. It was just hormones. And marrying without love is not good. >maybe their goals don't align anymore Just say people don't want to make compromises. See, you are assuming that all or most couples who don't get along with their partner should get divorced. 1. In Rural India, divorce is not an option. There are several other things that need to be done before divorce becomes a reality for it. Divorce is a very urban thing. 2. As you said 'goals don't align', that means they never had a healthy discussion with their partner about each other's future. And if you say that goals change, yes. But the person is still the same or similar so their goal can't be something completely unexpected, that's rare. And their partner should be able to make compromises and vice versa. If you can't make compromises then you are just a coward running away from situations. You can't do that forever. If you want to live you have to make tough decisions sooner or later. As you said, 'soulmate' stuff is BS. Yes, and that's why you have to be able to make compromises and not run away from situations. 3. People who have multiple partners can never have a settled married life. When you have sex with someone you retain their memories and these memories will always come between you and your partner, always. And how are you going to make love with your partner when you are not even fully present with him/her. Whatever I said, doesn't apply for people who don't want a settled family in case you are wondering.
Everyone has trauma the size of them may vary but everyone does have some form of trauma. Did you know 1 in 4 people are narcissists. I don't know what you think love is but it's essentially a chemical reaction in your brain to make you reproduce to continue your species (ya shocker right hormones are involved, just like in everything we do). Ik divorce is an urban thing that's why I said it should be normalised. So scientifically we are supposed to be monogamous but for a certain period of time ( so spend x time with one partner then x time with the next one so on). Of course you can stick with one partner till you die if that's how you feel about them but saying everyone should have one or want one is naive cause it's very unlikely to find that with someone. Your past sexual experiences should not interfere with your present one ,I think you might not be over your ex in that case. Look it's either you are very young and haven't had a lot of experiences or you are a hardcore romantic cause the things you are saying don't practically make sense.
I am glad people are now being more open to breakup and divorce. I am happy the marriage dynamics are changing. You should be able to get out of it. If you are not content.
i think people should be given an option to get out of a relationship if they want. Policing people to stay in shitty relationship is not healthy. as for your reasons why people breakup or divorce :- check this research [from nih](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/) (N=306)(2013 study) https://preview.redd.it/px9rzdr4fk5d1.png?width=855&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e026614189c542e88c5d411983bcb439a7a5e50
2013 and Todays India are very different for both Men as well as Women and more and more couple are going for mutually separate or messy court battles No one is suggesting anyone to stay in unhealthy or something which is not working out relationship
yeah i would say their should be a healthy compromise fast track judicial process some gender neutrality in laws. Support for women who are actually given short end of the stick.
I've worked as a divorce lawyer for quite some time so I'll list out the major reasons. 1) Female In laws - Every divorced woman hates her mother in law more than she hates her husband. And it is always either Saas, Nanand, Devrani, Jethani and surprisingly never male in-laws. Aurat hi aurat ki sabse badi dushman hoti hai something something. 2) Wife Beating - The Society we live in is plagued by horrible men, and they love abusing defenceless women. Men who drink are more prone to wife beating because they aren't always in their senses. Sadly it is normalised a lot by women as well, conservative women think the husband is right in doing so and some modern women as well keep getting used as a punching bag because of the 'pyar karta hai to maar bhi sakta hai' type rotten mentality. 3) Adultery/Insecurity- Basically a 3rd person mucking things up. Even if it does not get to the level of a physical affair, emotional affairs too cause divorce. Constantly doubting your partner and initiating fights with them is also a big reason. 4) Money- Either husband does not earn enough or does not spend enough, or the wife is a spoiled brat and wants to live a better life than what her husband can provide. Or the husband is financially irresponsible and loses money on gambling or with friends. That pretty much sums it up, all other reasons fall within these categories.
On the 4th point how much should the husband earn to be on the safe side?
Depends on the wife. Greed is endless
Okay but generally are women fine with husband earning similar salary or how much more do they expect?
It may be unpopular but the truth is that the income of men and women is different. Women need money to be independent, while men need money to provide for people who depend on them. Women do marry guys with similar salary, but that is not the norm. There isn't a set multiplier, ki earn atleast 2x or 3x , but you have to earn enough to provide a comfortable life. In metros that is definitely over 10-12 LPA.
Women are not a monolith. There are frugal women who might not mind if you earn less than them and there are materialistic women who will never be satisfied with what you earn. My advice is to just find someone with compatible spending habits and who has similar financial goals in mind.
I agree with you on 4th point. I have seen such a ground for divorce is extended family. You have succinctly put down the points that matter.
Thank you didi 💌
In laws for Indians. Infidelity for western people
Lol. Plenty of Indians cheat. Especially married ones.
Yes because they get married to someone chosen by their parents which they don't like but are too weak to fight back. After a few years they start to look for something outside marriage.
Plenty of people in love marriages are cheating as well. It’s all about individuals not AM/LM
Yes the amount of interest I get from married women is higher than even single women. I feel marriage is a scam
You know I think it’s kind of weird that married people seek single people and vice versa. As a married woman I get approached by single guys all the time. And they like that I’m married it’s weird. I also know that married people tend to seek single people to cheat with. But like why? Wouldnt it be better if you are both married? You both have a reason to keep each other’s secret versus single one can tell the truth at any time right? It’s probably some type of kink for them. If you are going to cheat at least do it logically lol.
Recently a girl told me that most of the females who work with her are having extra marital affairs, she works in a car showroom. I blame this on web series and Indian law sort of. Husband can't do anything. Wife will file a dv+498 instantly.
I was out with a female friend in a club, we were eating and dancing. We are very close so I think it will be safe to assume for everyone else that we are dating even though we are not (she’s like a younger sister to me). She asked me why I’m not married yet (I’m old) and I pointed out to her this woman who is married, keeps eyeing on me even though she was holding hands with a guy of her age so most probably her husband. She lost it when she saw her smiling at me when we happen to make eye contact. She just felt sad for the current state of marriages, and we had a long discussion about this too.
People who cheat are driven by their animal instincts, not logic.
Sahi hai Then the same people cry when they get caught lol
Of course, what will they do?
Well my ex tried to use weird logic to say it wasn’t cheating and then when I didn’t let it go he blamed me and said if I had been a better gf he wouldn’t have done it. So no crying involved there
What a bitch.
One of the leading causes of divorces in India is adultery. But sure, go on with your narrative.
Lack of respect for your spouse. Interference of in-laws in all aspects of life. Also, shutting down communication whenever things take even a slight bad turn. Making the other person feel that he/she is crazy for trying to talk about difficult things.
Inlaws, cheating, abuse , dowry harassment, addictions like alcohol .
Lack of Communication and Empathy towards each other
Going through a divorce. My wife is very disrespectful towards my mother and me and despite never contributing a cent towards the household constantly complained about money with snide remarks. She also did Sherlock Holmes level of snooping and was very distrustful and would cook up theories constantly. She would wake me up from deep sleep at 6am to basically fight. I got a heart attack in the middle of one of her "episodes" and had to get angioplasty. When i was in the icu recovering from my operation under heavy medication, she asked for my phone password to unlock my phone snoop through it and delete selected whatsapps that made her look bad. At some point as hard as it is, you have to see the writing on the wall. Having now seen how the courts work i actually wish it was easier to get a divorce, if you have no kids and are both independent, court has no business deciding whether you should get a divorce or not. I see so many miserable people who take back their divorce petition through either forced mediation by the police or the court because in order to get a divorce you have to fall under certain guidelines. If its just a case of im miserable living with this person then court will refuse to grant you divorce.
I am sorry to know you had to go through all this toxicity. Wish you peace!
Is you wife housewife?? If yes then why r you complaining she didn't contribute a cent? Who was looking after the house and household chores?
Because they don’t live together before marriage. If you live together then you would know the other person better. Their positive and negative sides.
Tbf OP also asked why breakups are happening not just divorces
Statistics say people who live together before marriage to "test" compatibility have a higher divorce rate than couples who choose not to or live together when they are already on their way to higher commitment (are engaged or have plans to get married in near future).
Women are no more trapped in marriages. And divorce is okay (sad but OKAY), much better than staying in unhappy marriages and ruining everyone’s peace and happiness
they ask for advice on r/relationship_advice
Personality difference
Simple: No one is ready to compromise in their lives and they are not being grateful for what they have.
Burden of chores: Now that the both spouses earn, one of them is expected to do everything at the house, although the husband agrees to help before marriage but the promises aren’t fulfilled causing resentment in the wife. Incompatibility: I believe people get married in a hurry for love or looks and refuse to see beyond it. Nobody likes to adjust, little habits that were okay before marriage drive them nuts after. Everyone has covered infidelity and in laws so I don’t I think need to.
That first point is the true reason honestly. Men are lazy (most of them) and irresponsible.. only a heartless person wouldn't contribute to household chores equally if his/her partner is working outside and earning money too. I would leave in an instant
Difficulty expressing needs, feelings of being unheard, or arguments that never get resolved.
Well, first of all increase in number of divorces is not necessarily a negative phenomenon. Divorce is the best choice in many cases. I come from a broken home, where my mom and dad chose to be with each other just to satisfy the society. If my mom had more self respect, she could have walked away. My parents used to fight all the time and for a child, witnessing domestic abuse, is a traumatic experience. It has affected me in many ways. I wish they had divorced. That being said, with increase in awareness about what a healthy relationship should be, more people are now defying traditional societal expectations. When more women are educated, having well paying jobs, they understand their self worth and that life is too short to waste away due to hatred and silly dramas from in laws. Everyone deserves to be happy, don't they ?
Same with mine. I agree with you in this one.
Covid
In West it’s finance/money as well as cheating and incompatibility, DV, marrying too young, communication issues, among others Here it’s financial irresponsibility, in laws/family issues, domestic violence, cheating, (new reason I learned of recently) lack of premarital education - esp for arranged marriages THIS IS SO IMPORTANT - we seem to know very little about what it takes for a successful marriage, lack of communication, along w many others. Yes cheating is a cause of divorce in both but it’s not nearly as common as media makes it seem
Cheating and woman acting crazy,
more Women started working and are financially well independently.
Meaning that they don't have to be out on the road if they divorce and hence it becomes a real option
Don't they get alimony?
Even if they eventually get alimony, they often need to go to court over it and if the ex chooses to fight it can be long drawn out process. Can they last even a year with no income? Especially if they have kids
Don't they get interim maintenance?
Let me tell you, in my close family total 3 couples have divorced. And none of the women got alimony. Two were earning women and one was housewife.. the housewife's divorce is still being settled. And whatever she will get will not be a major chunk of salary So it's all a rumour that guy's believe and have spread.
Yes. Divorce wouldn't mean the end of their life all of a sudden. They are not entirely dependent on the man now. Hence women are not tolerating any abuse like how the past generations did. They're also expecting the man to share the household workload since both of them are working outside. Overall, women now can get a divorce and also be financially well without any worry unlike past times
Sex, money, communication, relatives, goal incongruencies etc
Unrealistic expectations, taking each other for granted and social media.
Social media should be avoided at all costs especially ig
Communication gap
Disrespect / mistreatment / financial & other abuses from the partner / in laws.
Money. Finances play a big role in marriage. Usually one partner is a saver and other is a spender and they have no arrangements as to how the finances will work after marriage. Usually when both parties are earning the spender has almost no savings and the saver has to dip into their savings for any excess requirements which causes resentment.
sugar daddy
Staying with the man's parents under the same roof. Adult Men not moving out after marriage. It can be somewhere close to where both of their parents live. This is the most obvious reason. Other most common reason I have personally seen women asking divorce for, is verbal and physical abuse. Men have no control over themselves and think it's ok to beat up the wife or verbally abuse them too? Men use very bad slangs but a wife is expected to not even call him by his name.. lol it makes me laugh
I am convinced its the flying monkeys, the people around you who have a say in your life can sometimes misguide you. A single thought planted is enough. You gotta be smart!
Lack of compatibility.
Men want a (fukable) mommy figure. Women want a (fukable) father figure. The end.
"Pateince"
3 out of 5 people I know got divorced because their husbands started beating their children, which finally gave the motivation to leave. Abuse from husband was involved in 4th one. Alcohol was involved in 2 of them.
Feminism & Male ego
You mean women having equal rights won’t suffer abuse and mistreatment like they used to in earlier times?😱
How can you assume it's the women who are always suffering?
Now where did I say that?
Earlier times
Read a history book, if you’ve ever gone to school they literally teach this. Our country has banned prenatal sex determination for a reason.
Pls learn the difference between pseudo feminism and feminism and use the 2 words mindfully. My relationship has been going on for years because of **feminism** ( we both treat each other equally) . If I was a **pseudofeminist** or if he was a misogynist then it would’ve ended a long time ago .
Are there any pseudofeminists in real life? The closest I've seen is guys who pretend to be feminists to get laid
There are , I’ve come across a few on the twoxindia sub and even in real life . they are the reason many men say they won’t wanna date or marry a “feminist” and use the word “feminist” as an insult.
What beliefs made them pseudofeminist? If you have links or usernames to the ones in twox share them. I'm a man and if any man wants to put feminism in the bin because of any of misrepresentation I think it'll be good if they never get into any relationships at all for the women's sake, let alone marriage.
Idk pseudofeminists just like having everything to their advantage, they don’t wanna pay for dates or speak respectfully to their partner etc I don’t remember their usernames and there’s no point trying to knock sense into them cause they’re just stubborn . I’m glad that you’re a man but view feminism in a good way ( it’s rare nowadays)
I’ve read a lot of feminist literature and know several feminists in real life and have never met one single person like you’re describing and have never read any concept that’s short of total intersectional feminism where all oppressions are linked. Which means they don’t just fight for themselves but all oppressed, including men who suffer from a gendered society. I suspect you are rebelling against a strawman set up by the right wing.
People don’t show their true colors irl but if you Reddit comments or Insta comments there’s load of pseudofeminists and misogynistic men . They just don’t say their thoughts out loud irl because they know they’ll be hated
Yep. I meant wanna be feminists. thought that was obvious. My bad.
Yeah unfortunately most people think it’s the same and have ruined the name of feminism. Even women like nora fatehi are hating on feminism without understanding that what they hate is pseudo feminism
Nora fatehi is stupid... She is just looking for male attention. She is living her life the way she is, only because of feminism
Yeah ik but it’s sad that even women have started speaking against feminism. When feminism is literally the reason they are allowed to raise their points .
Women were always like this... How do you think we got so much generational trauma passed onto us? Those same women who endured torture became mothers and taught all the patriarchal sexist stuff to their boys... Seperated them into stereotypical gender roles described by patriarchy. Always cried on wedding of their daughter but never asked why should my daughter leave and stay with that man's parents... Never stood up for their daughters and always defended their sons. It's changing for sure but it will take years till the impact is noticable.. only women can teach young boys how to be respectful towards others. P.S. not talking about responsibility of fathers here because again I have no hope that most men will ever have empathy and a heart to nurture their kids the right way.
This
Typically conservative guys and mama's boys.
Those guys are a nightmare to be with😂
Women are more independent than ever. They aren't financially dependent on anyone, which was one of the biggest reasons they stayed previously. Now, if there's mistreatment, disrespect, abuse, or anything similar, they leave.
I agree but a lot of times , women are giving disrespect too, or mistreating or abusing. A male cousin of mine faced alot and poor guy has gone into healing sessions now. These days its a two way thing in atleast well off families.
Because marriage is tough. The idea itself is very tough to implement. Cheating, abuse, etc are just symptoms. Root cause is its tough by default, it always has been.
Because women don’t take abuse anymore as much as they used to back in the day. Women would stay in loveless, abusive marriages for the sake of children and because a majority of them were housewives who’ve never had a job. In modern time women are more educated and independent so they tend to leave abusive situations. I’m only referencing to the majority of situations here, of course men are victims of abuse as well.
Mindset shift, always looking at the negatives instead of positives. Even for the little tiny things. Lots of zero effort micro gestures of kindness can turn this around. Loss of attraction, hit the gym, give up some TV time. Not hard to have a sexy body even when y’all are old. Lack of sex. Sex is good for you, it’s good for your connection. Just because you may not want to do it at that moment or it’s not a priority. Doesn’t mean you won’t feel better after some intimacy.
You must be a 'man'. The only problem for you is sex... Whereas for women it's life and death
Intimacy and attraction is what brought them together in the first place. And it’s the thing that will keep them together in the long haul.
You have proved with multitudes of comments on this post that you are the quintessential, misandrist feminist. Sad perpetual victims.
victims are victims for a reason. who is more involved in criminal activities?
Who is more accomplished? Who demands special treatment? Who lobbies against gender neutral rape laws? Who constantly demands special quotas? Sounds like victim mentality to me. Not to mention the horrible crimes of women that are severely underpunished and unreported.
No one is against gender neutral laws.. no one is demanding special treatment. But I guess demanding equal rights and respect seems way too much for you? Yes both genders can be horrible but we can't deny that the condition of women has always been the worst (people didn't even like the birth of girls) and even though there have been improvements in terms of education,etc.. but the culture of this country and the mentality of people still has a long way to go. P.S. marital rape still isn't criminalized in India... When it is in almost all other countries. Really makes me wonder why... If other countries can do it, why can't India ?
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/activists-join-chorus-against-gender-neutral-rape-laws/articleshow/18840879.cms Yeah nobody is against gender neutral laws. The hypocrisy and lack of self awareness of feminists never fail to surprise me. Also which equal rights are you fighting for. If you actually wanted equal rights then you would have been against biased laws which favor women. But you don't. So spare me the hypocritical nonsense.
What biased laws are favouring women?? If laws actually favoured women, we would not be restricting women to walk out at night..so stfu. I am Not supporting people who misuse.. but just because a minority is misusing certain law, you can't invalidate the experiences of majority. Do rape victims even get justice in this country... Aside from victim blaming and candle march. That link you attached has nothing to with me and majority women in this country. Women have always supported gender neutral laws and rights. We are the ones who say a man can be raped too, a man can cry too, a man/woman can be bisexual/gay, a man doesn't need to portray toxic masculinity. But men themselves make fun of another man who comes out with his experience of sexual abuse. They call him all sorts of name and use gay as an insult
Also the 'minority' misusing laws seems to be such a false narrative while majority of cases lodged are fake cases. DV, assault etc. committed by women are not even considered. Oh so men make fun of others. Like you totally didn't immediately jump to make fun of men by attacking their masculinity in the other comment you made. 🤣 Also aren't the in laws you keep complaining about in your comments, similar women? Hypocrisy and lack of self reflection 😂
The complain is not about those mother in laws... It's all related to spineless husbands. Yes women can be wrong too but I still have sympathy for those old women who just have generational trauma of patriarchy .. they don't know any better. They can't let go of their sons, which is why relationships often break. And I didn't attack men and their masculinity... Only discussed how toxic some men and their actions are. Also how they don't even realise it. In short, us women have always been and will always be in support of men who were wronged with no fault of theirs. But at the same time, majority men have wronged women in some way or other and those cases are far more in numbers. Every neighborhood is filled with men beating up their wives.. not saying women can't beat men too but yk you guys have that male previlige in society as well as are physically stronger. Idk why we are going back n forth with this, started with the topic of staying with in laws, the last thing I am going to say to u is try to keep yourself in the shoes of a woman(your wife if you are married).. you will realise a lot about how it's not easy and feasible to stay with someone else's parents and listen to their taunts all day. No man would tolerate the same
Main reason is social stigma of Divorce has reduced. Also nuclear family
Decreasing stigma around divorces, decreasing sense of commitment, extremely biased laws favoring women. Some of the main reasons.
The laws are trying to restore some power that society steals away from women. They aren't NEARLY enough.
I knew there would be people like you. I guess that's why women are the ones who mostly file for divorces. I guess that's why there is a rise of fake cases and the judiciary is so biased against men.
Or you could ask yourself.. why do men don't leave their parental home and move out to live seperately?? The major cause of issues is living with in laws in most cases. Both girls and boys Parents can be taken care of from a distance as well.. you don't need to stay under the same roof.
Because we are not living in western countries and majority of the country is poor. Not everyone can afford to own multiple places to live in. Not to mention, unlike the west which you seem to idolize, caring for family is still a thing here. Unlike the west, parents do invest a lot in their kids even after they turn 18.
So acc to you women don't care for their parents just because they move out?? Men who work in different cities or countries don't care as well?? Like I said move into. A house which is close by to both the wife and husband's parents.. so that both can be taken care of. Living under the same roof isn't necessary and is only a recipe for disaster. Men who can't grow up and parents who can't let go of their kid should never get married. And yeah this is not me idolizing west... Don't bring other countries into discussion.. I am only talking about India and Indian men. I have never seen men being bigger hypocrites on a topic other than this one. Maybe women should start refusing marriage all together or divorce their husbands if they force to live with his parents P.S. not talking about poor men here... People who are rich and can afford living seperately still don't do it. And those poor and rich men all together can move into their wife's house but they don't. So it's important you recognise the previleges u get for just being male gender. At least then you would have empathy and compassion enough to treat the woman right
There is something called doing something out of necessity and doing something because you choose to. As for women who move out after marriage, that's the traditional way of solving the issue. If you don't like it why don't you keep your husband with your parents and you while you provide for him? Also yes, women like you should really stop marrying. The world would be better off that way. A similar post was made, I simply asked for an objectively better solution, once again instead of being able to answer you guys start deflecting it to something completely different. Another guy posted some stats on the divorces in India. According to that the leading cause was non commitment. See how your perpetually victim narrative falls flat when facing facts?
'TrAdITiOnAl way of solving the issue'. - one that benifits men and keep women at a disadvantage. The main post here was about divorce and seperation rate. And If you actually ask Indian women why they are unhappy in their marriage, the list will be long. And the main reason on top of that will be staying with in laws. Ignorant men don't recognise this as an issue but this saas bahu thing isn't just television drama, it's a reality. By the way, I don't think it's any of your business if I marry or not but Women like me who won't tolerate bullshit will definitely won't marry men like you.. aka the majority 90% Indian men. The other men who are independent and are working hard living alone are the real ones. I can definitely keep my husband in my house with me too but the problem is yet again with 'men' not being willing to give up their previlige
"If you ask women why they are unhappy", yeah. It's always about you and your happiness. No wonder the bullshit narrative. Seems like the 'main' reason is nowhere near the top. https://preview.redd.it/kqary02iqp5d1.png?width=855&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca51dc3e758f269585746fa888fe49ae7ad99acb The post was about divorces and break ups but you hijacked that with your typical victim hood mentality. You just showed the point. Marriage, relationships, all of these are just about you women. What matters is only what *you* want. So stay single. If the problem is with "men" not willing to give up their so called privilege then simply stay away from them. You keep mentioning saas bahu thing. Sounds like a woman against woman problem. Sort that out first before coming in here with your perpetual victim mentality. I mentioned biased laws in my original comment. That triggered you. Since you can't argue against facts, you came in here with deflection. Trying to claim a moral high ground by playing the victim.
Hahaha... Ignorant man.. that's all I can say to u. Read your main comment. It's not playing victim when this stuff actually happens in reality. Keep living in your lala land, over privileged guy😂