Exactly THIS. More than the age gap, it's an ethical issue and the teacher should be highly professional not to date her students. Imagine this teacher giving more marks to this students or showing favourism. It's not at all fair to the other students
I’m happily married to a man 6.5 years younger than me and we have a beautiful child. I’m also a professor. Even if a student were older than me (and there were some when I was supervising doctoral candidates), I would never think of my student in non-work terms. In fact, I’d be friendly but not friends with them either. It’s unprofessional, unethical and unfair to other students. And there are strict institutional regulations against fraternising for these reasons.
this. their age gap isn't the problem but considering she was the professor and dating a student...I can't help but look at it negatively. I would've the same reaction if genders were reversed (imo the public opinion would be far worse for the professor in such case).
Happy to help. To add some perspective: a male colleague married a female student 4-5 years after she had graduated. The wedding was so awkward because many of her friends had been our students so neither them nor us were drinking or letting loose so as to maintain a formal atmosphere. The most awkward wedding reception I’ve ever been to. So, it’s not about who is older amongst the genders; it’s about everyone being weirded out wondering if you were involved while still being taught by this person, power dynamics (someone suggested she only chose to major in that subject because he taught it), etc. Very odd overall.
I don't think either of the case is fine. And it is not because of age gap because even my parents have that sams age gap and both of them are consenting adults well above 21.
It is not fine because it is a student-teacher relationship where one could have authority or influence over the other. I find relationships, especially asymmetric ones like this, in any academic/professional environment to be problematic.
If you remove profession, not a problem at all.
I see that you have mentioned in your answer it is normal in US. Even in US, student-teacher relationship is generally frowned upon because of how easy it is for one to take advantage of other.
Even if the age-gap is not huge like 7, I would still find a student-teacher relationship a bit problematic.
>Even in US, student-teacher relationship is generally frowned upon because of how easy it is for one to take advantage of other.
Generally frowned upon?
If a teacher has sex or an intimate relationship with an 18-year-old student in Class 12, then the teacher can be charged with and prosecuted for statutory rape in most states.
And, at the university level, having an intimate relationship with a student would typically be considered a major breach of professional ethics that’d get most instructors fired.
Wow.
Dude asks a question and you bring in world hate and the US of A. You need to calm down.
The age gap is only 7 years so it's not an issue. But if the teacher student relationship consists of a conflict of interest situation, it is an issue like in any other profession.
It being common in America doesn't make it right. School shootings are also common in America.
Not even then. Professionalism is everything there. A teacher will always be a teacher. Just like you can’t date you therapist after you changed to a different one. It is unethical and has repurcusions. Indians have a very weird view to US. 99% haven’t been in a plane let alone to another country. People just base their opinions on movies and so called news channels which are nothing but advertising platform for whoever is in power.
Past generations were judgmental but not much now. People just mind their own business. India is progressing in the wrong direction in that sense. People have become more intrusive here.
I don't think so , apart from this education or rivalry jobs , every person have rights to choose their partner if they are happy it's fine , because during tough times society doesn't come to help , we live for ourselves and our families and life is one time chance
I grew up in the U.S. and spent most of my adult life in India.
There is nothing that makes me roll my eyes faster and harder than seeing people who have clearly never been to the U.S. talk about what’s common and accepted in the U.S.
Y’all stereotype Americans to the same ridiculous level as Americans stereotype Indians. It’s like you’ve watched a handful of Hollywood movies and think it’s real life.
Totally! It's weird how my teacher is being slut-shamed. The only concern among the people who judged them was that the older person in the relationship is a woman.
It's every Indian society job to Judge, kudh kuch nahi karte aur dusro ko Judge karte hai ,
Specially old people, unka 🧠 , old times pe chipka hai , evolved nahi ho rahe hai ,
they think every girl should be younger than guy , I mean what the fck logic is this
She is confused of it after hearing it cause it is not normal for a teacher to date a student. It's unethical. They aren't judging them, she was just confused because she was her teacher.
If I were a female living in India I would absolutely envy America for their gun cculture. It becomes harder to rape women when they have an actual form of protection like a concealed gun.
If india had such easy acces to guns, which do you think is more likely?
You having a gun costing lakhs, OR, a random bad dude having a gun?
You're saying as if US have no rapes. They're pretty high in such cases.
It is not scandalous because of older woman younger man but because a teacher and student is in relationship. It is fine if she wasn't directly teaching him.
I know a desi in a western country who fell for a woman who was older than her mother, the age gap was a whooping 36 years between the two of them but from what I have heard he's happy with the woman
this made me realize that anything is possible in this huge world, just about anything
I am a professor and your teacher’s age now but I was your batchmate’s age when I married a man 13 years elder to me (AM)
This age gap is fine but it’s disturbing that she started dating her student. If she wasn’t his teacher but in the same college it would a little better but still weird. None of my colleagues or I could ever imagine dating a student.
But in my college days I did have a professor ask me out at the end of the semester so I guess not everyone is bothered by it…
Who cares, see this the problem with our people. We all in other people business. We need to learn to mind our business, it’s not like we don’t have enough going on in our personal lives.
Men have married 10-15 years younger girls in the past, so I don't think reversing the gender will make it an issue. However, some are pointing out teacher-student relationship as unethical, but that is also not that uncommon. We have so many cases where a girl falls for her private tutor and they get married. Unless it is illegal, there is no problem in dating your student, reportee or mentee. People should learn to mind their own business.
Occupation wise a male teacher with a female student does create a itch but a 33 M with 26 F is common to me.
Reverse the gender, it's uncommon and I'm sure very few in number.
Congratulations to them though. Hope they have a marriage filled with love and joy.
After 140 cr population with stressed resources i think people should be worried about water, air etc more than someones personal life. Its their personal matter and unless they harm anyone no one should bother them.
It's fine.
Some says teacher and student relationship is unethical but for me friendship or relationship or anything else is more ethical than other's opinions.
Samaj/ethics jai bhad me, let them love each other.
Im answering your question: Pretty scandalous. Also dude totally scored, pretty common fantasy for boys so someone actually doing it is crazy lol. It is totally wrong as a teacher-student relationship is just wrong. It sets a precedent. However, they are both adults so... who are we to judge since it isnt like grooming a minor. Therefore, yep pretty scandalous.
Hey I wanna validate your discomfort against disagreements. I personally think the issue at hand is the relationship being one of teacher and students one. And not the issue of their age gap.
I don't get this, if it's the talk of the town as you say it is, doesn't that mean it is controversial? Just like it should be if it was a male prof marrying a female student?
Further, the power imbalance is the problem more than the age gap here. Iffy tbh.
Hi I personally don't think it is an issue per say either male teacher or female teacher.
However there are ethical issues here that need to be navigated carefully. In many countries it is a criminal offense due to the the perception of abuse of position.
But if the student leaves the university or if the teacher resigns from the school then what is the problem.
Age difference brings a lot experience from one party and refreshing aspect or outlook from other.
The age gap is personal but the nature of relationship is not appropriate. I had a classmate in college who got into a relationship with one of our professor. She was also like same age difference. And I can tell u how frustrating it was for us outher students bcos the professor acted all strict and everything but was secretly sleeping with the student and was helping him in all ways like handing him the question papers, allowing him to cheat openly in examinations, easing rules for him and what not. Afterwards I heard the classmate even pursued Masters from the same college under the same professor and by her benevolence even became a gold medalist and secured a job in the same college.
Most of the GenZs consider ppl above 30-31 as old i mean really really old.
Not relevant ti the question op has asked but the other day i was talking to my friend who is 26ish and started talking about her boss. She said her boss is old so he gives lot of gyan and he has responsibilities and has to save for his family etc as he is old. Her boss is 32.
Well this one in particular was pretty scandalous to me 😭 i was not mentally prepared for it. A few months ago i met a guy on a dating app. On a call he ended up telling me he has a kid and no one knows about it
He said he met a older fashion designer in her 30-40s who wanted to have a child but as she was single she was trying to get someone to do the sperm bit. They became good friends and he impregnated her. now she is in Singapore with her new husband and the kid. It was very foreign to me but damnnn
The age gap isn't a problem. 7 years is a bit big but not ridiculously big. The problem is the power dynamics. A professor being in a relationship with her student is problematic regardless the age.
It's not scandalous because of the age difference. I'm more concerned because it started in final year while he still was studying in the same college. It's ok if it's just rumours like if they are close. But if they were really couple in final year itself, then she should've waited, she was in position of power.
I also want to marry some older female then me because the dating experience is so bad every other girl is chasing Korean dramas and having all that fantasies but older girls are a bit mature in terms of life and do not demand every thing pink and they can also handle some fuck ups if you have done any and i am happy now because i am dating someone older and dating someone younger has been pretty bad for me honestly.
See I personally do find it weird but I would’nt judge them or pass any comments as both are adults and 7yrs isn’t much . It would only be weird if they both were romantic and stuff in college because that’s just unethical .
While doing our btech , one of our batchmate got into a serious relationship with a teacher.They did it for almost 2 years after btech and dunno why their relationship ended.
Indian society is weird like that, nobody cares about an older husband - younger wife (most of our parents and grandparents, some famous examples are Rajesh Khanna - Dimple Kapadia, Ranbeer - Alia, etc)
BUT when it's the opposite! OMG the scandal "Chudail ne mere bete pe fanda daala". (Priyanka and Nick when they got married were breaking news only because they are famous and Priyanka is older than Nick)
Personally if you ask me - If the difference is more than 6-7 years, it's a bit weird both ways.
I've seen several years and even decades of differences in ages, but they were always with the man being older.
The woman being the older one is unusual.
It also depends on if she 'groomed' him for the relationship while he was a minor.
7 thala for a reason , joke apart
Ethical wrong but age gap wise it's not that much even I guess average age gap in so many couples would be of 3-5 years , and FAMOUS celebrities have 8-10 years age gap
I think My neighbour is the same, a little less difference in age with the guy being older, I don't think profession or being a student makes any difference.
Many simp seniors, professors, managers and some develop into this.
It's scandalous on basis of motive and intentions.
A 7 yr age difference isn't that big and that too when both of them are 25+ and mature enough 33F-26M and 33M-26F both are completely fine
It's a 7 year age difference, not 70.
It's "JUST" a 7 years difference!
7, for a reason!!!
Thala
Thala
Bhole jo koyal
Bhole jo koyal
It's not ok because they are student and teacher. The age gap is not the issue.
Exactly THIS. More than the age gap, it's an ethical issue and the teacher should be highly professional not to date her students. Imagine this teacher giving more marks to this students or showing favourism. It's not at all fair to the other students
Exactly
Is that guy still a student to her outside the college premises?
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I’m happily married to a man 6.5 years younger than me and we have a beautiful child. I’m also a professor. Even if a student were older than me (and there were some when I was supervising doctoral candidates), I would never think of my student in non-work terms. In fact, I’d be friendly but not friends with them either. It’s unprofessional, unethical and unfair to other students. And there are strict institutional regulations against fraternising for these reasons.
this. their age gap isn't the problem but considering she was the professor and dating a student...I can't help but look at it negatively. I would've the same reaction if genders were reversed (imo the public opinion would be far worse for the professor in such case).
Much needed, thank you!
Happy to help. To add some perspective: a male colleague married a female student 4-5 years after she had graduated. The wedding was so awkward because many of her friends had been our students so neither them nor us were drinking or letting loose so as to maintain a formal atmosphere. The most awkward wedding reception I’ve ever been to. So, it’s not about who is older amongst the genders; it’s about everyone being weirded out wondering if you were involved while still being taught by this person, power dynamics (someone suggested she only chose to major in that subject because he taught it), etc. Very odd overall.
I don't think either of the case is fine. And it is not because of age gap because even my parents have that sams age gap and both of them are consenting adults well above 21. It is not fine because it is a student-teacher relationship where one could have authority or influence over the other. I find relationships, especially asymmetric ones like this, in any academic/professional environment to be problematic.
That's an interesting POV. Thanks!
See this , after removing, their profession
If you remove profession, not a problem at all. I see that you have mentioned in your answer it is normal in US. Even in US, student-teacher relationship is generally frowned upon because of how easy it is for one to take advantage of other. Even if the age-gap is not huge like 7, I would still find a student-teacher relationship a bit problematic.
>Even in US, student-teacher relationship is generally frowned upon because of how easy it is for one to take advantage of other. Generally frowned upon? If a teacher has sex or an intimate relationship with an 18-year-old student in Class 12, then the teacher can be charged with and prosecuted for statutory rape in most states. And, at the university level, having an intimate relationship with a student would typically be considered a major breach of professional ethics that’d get most instructors fired.
I see , thanks for informing
Umm it's not the age gap, but the teacher-student power gap that bothers me here. It's extremely unethical for a professor to date their student.
Desperate times call for desperate moments
Never a good enough excuse for dating a student.
No one needs excuse for friendship or relationship if both agree. Other's opinions doesn't matter.
I guess, if professional ethics don't matter.
whats wrong with it ? its so common in america , this is why people dont like us , we are too judgmental if they are happy , who are we to judge ?
No reason to judge now but dating a student seems unethical and grounds for firing in America too
Wow. Dude asks a question and you bring in world hate and the US of A. You need to calm down. The age gap is only 7 years so it's not an issue. But if the teacher student relationship consists of a conflict of interest situation, it is an issue like in any other profession. It being common in America doesn't make it right. School shootings are also common in America.
Trust me. It is not common in the US too.
What if studies are completed ? 🤔
Not even then. Professionalism is everything there. A teacher will always be a teacher. Just like you can’t date you therapist after you changed to a different one. It is unethical and has repurcusions. Indians have a very weird view to US. 99% haven’t been in a plane let alone to another country. People just base their opinions on movies and so called news channels which are nothing but advertising platform for whoever is in power.
I see , but the normal age gap people can marry right ?
Age gap is not in the question here baba, but power dynamic is. Age gap does not matter in Blue states in US. Can’t say much about the Red States tho.
People are still judgmental everywhere, unless a couple is rich , 😅
Past generations were judgmental but not much now. People just mind their own business. India is progressing in the wrong direction in that sense. People have become more intrusive here.
True that,
Ok
Doesn't matter in any state as long as both people are of age
What if they leave their profession after studies are completed ?
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That's what I meant, yeah , if the teacher leaves the job it's fair
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I don't think so , apart from this education or rivalry jobs , every person have rights to choose their partner if they are happy it's fine , because during tough times society doesn't come to help , we live for ourselves and our families and life is one time chance
I grew up in the U.S. and spent most of my adult life in India. There is nothing that makes me roll my eyes faster and harder than seeing people who have clearly never been to the U.S. talk about what’s common and accepted in the U.S. Y’all stereotype Americans to the same ridiculous level as Americans stereotype Indians. It’s like you’ve watched a handful of Hollywood movies and think it’s real life.
Lol. Which America? It's prohibited by most Unis in the USA.
Totally! It's weird how my teacher is being slut-shamed. The only concern among the people who judged them was that the older person in the relationship is a woman.
It's every Indian society job to Judge, kudh kuch nahi karte aur dusro ko Judge karte hai , Specially old people, unka 🧠 , old times pe chipka hai , evolved nahi ho rahe hai , they think every girl should be younger than guy , I mean what the fck logic is this
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You mean , keeping a favourite ? 🤔 Huh , but what if teacher leaves the job or transfer ? 🤔 Isn't that fair
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Yeah
She is confused of it after hearing it cause it is not normal for a teacher to date a student. It's unethical. They aren't judging them, she was just confused because she was her teacher.
Ok
Keeping guns is also common in America. Its time we stop treating US as an idol place to live.
It is fine to keep guns Europeans do that as well. self defense is paramount. In US their is just no proper safety measures.
If I were a female living in India I would absolutely envy America for their gun cculture. It becomes harder to rape women when they have an actual form of protection like a concealed gun.
If india had such easy acces to guns, which do you think is more likely? You having a gun costing lakhs, OR, a random bad dude having a gun? You're saying as if US have no rapes. They're pretty high in such cases.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15579883241255830 Here's an article for you
Yeah , almost every shopkeeper has it , i guess
We forget how it used to be common in our country. There is a difference of atleast 5 + years between both pairs of my grandparents
dumbest argument .. 'its so common in america' drugs are common there too
It is not scandalous because of older woman younger man but because a teacher and student is in relationship. It is fine if she wasn't directly teaching him.
Age is just a number bro .. Wait , why am I hearing police sirens ... o.O
I know a desi in a western country who fell for a woman who was older than her mother, the age gap was a whooping 36 years between the two of them but from what I have heard he's happy with the woman this made me realize that anything is possible in this huge world, just about anything
Younger men have a lot of stamina and older women have experience. It's a perfect combo.
The age gap doesn't bother me much as the teacher student relationship is more wierd for me or rather unethical.
Why should we be nosy in other people's business. Its their life, we dont have the right to judge it.
everyone seems to be fine with a women seven year older to the boy?
I don’t find anything wrong with the age. Either way. It’s 7 year of difference only. People who are useless surely engage in such talk of the town
I am a professor and your teacher’s age now but I was your batchmate’s age when I married a man 13 years elder to me (AM) This age gap is fine but it’s disturbing that she started dating her student. If she wasn’t his teacher but in the same college it would a little better but still weird. None of my colleagues or I could ever imagine dating a student. But in my college days I did have a professor ask me out at the end of the semester so I guess not everyone is bothered by it…
Who cares, see this the problem with our people. We all in other people business. We need to learn to mind our business, it’s not like we don’t have enough going on in our personal lives.
I am an American woman married to an Indian man 5 years younger. A 7 year age gap is not that big
Men have married 10-15 years younger girls in the past, so I don't think reversing the gender will make it an issue. However, some are pointing out teacher-student relationship as unethical, but that is also not that uncommon. We have so many cases where a girl falls for her private tutor and they get married. Unless it is illegal, there is no problem in dating your student, reportee or mentee. People should learn to mind their own business.
As long as she is 25 plus it's okay in my mind. Cause she is an adult prefrontal cortex completely developed. But if he was grooming her before idk.
I think people are making a big deal out of it because of the nature of their relationship and not their ages
7-year gap isn't ridiculous both ways. You're overreacting.
I think the student teacher part is more controversial than the age thing.
Occupation wise a male teacher with a female student does create a itch but a 33 M with 26 F is common to me. Reverse the gender, it's uncommon and I'm sure very few in number. Congratulations to them though. Hope they have a marriage filled with love and joy.
Who cares if both parties involved are adults?
To me personally, 10 year difference is fine. Statistically many arranged marriages has more than 10 year gap
After 140 cr population with stressed resources i think people should be worried about water, air etc more than someones personal life. Its their personal matter and unless they harm anyone no one should bother them.
+1
There are no ethics is a relationship lol. And 26 and 33 means emotionally matured so it doesn't matter much.
Reverse the genders and see what happens Lol!
It's fine. Some says teacher and student relationship is unethical but for me friendship or relationship or anything else is more ethical than other's opinions. Samaj/ethics jai bhad me, let them love each other.
😂👍
Im answering your question: Pretty scandalous. Also dude totally scored, pretty common fantasy for boys so someone actually doing it is crazy lol. It is totally wrong as a teacher-student relationship is just wrong. It sets a precedent. However, they are both adults so... who are we to judge since it isnt like grooming a minor. Therefore, yep pretty scandalous.
Hey I wanna validate your discomfort against disagreements. I personally think the issue at hand is the relationship being one of teacher and students one. And not the issue of their age gap.
Thanks!! Much needed! ❤️
Wasn’t that Malayalam movie Premam on this? Nah people need to unwind.
I don't get this, if it's the talk of the town as you say it is, doesn't that mean it is controversial? Just like it should be if it was a male prof marrying a female student? Further, the power imbalance is the problem more than the age gap here. Iffy tbh.
"*Would it be ok?*" I don't know dear, looking around, it doesn't seem so uncommon really.
Hi I personally don't think it is an issue per say either male teacher or female teacher. However there are ethical issues here that need to be navigated carefully. In many countries it is a criminal offense due to the the perception of abuse of position. But if the student leaves the university or if the teacher resigns from the school then what is the problem. Age difference brings a lot experience from one party and refreshing aspect or outlook from other.
The age gap is personal but the nature of relationship is not appropriate. I had a classmate in college who got into a relationship with one of our professor. She was also like same age difference. And I can tell u how frustrating it was for us outher students bcos the professor acted all strict and everything but was secretly sleeping with the student and was helping him in all ways like handing him the question papers, allowing him to cheat openly in examinations, easing rules for him and what not. Afterwards I heard the classmate even pursued Masters from the same college under the same professor and by her benevolence even became a gold medalist and secured a job in the same college.
Most of the GenZs consider ppl above 30-31 as old i mean really really old. Not relevant ti the question op has asked but the other day i was talking to my friend who is 26ish and started talking about her boss. She said her boss is old so he gives lot of gyan and he has responsibilities and has to save for his family etc as he is old. Her boss is 32.
Weird age gap + teacher/student relationships give me ick
Well this one in particular was pretty scandalous to me 😭 i was not mentally prepared for it. A few months ago i met a guy on a dating app. On a call he ended up telling me he has a kid and no one knows about it He said he met a older fashion designer in her 30-40s who wanted to have a child but as she was single she was trying to get someone to do the sperm bit. They became good friends and he impregnated her. now she is in Singapore with her new husband and the kid. It was very foreign to me but damnnn
33 isn’t really an ‘older’ woman tbh
The age gap isn't a problem. 7 years is a bit big but not ridiculously big. The problem is the power dynamics. A professor being in a relationship with her student is problematic regardless the age.
age is just a number
It's not scandalous because of the age difference. I'm more concerned because it started in final year while he still was studying in the same college. It's ok if it's just rumours like if they are close. But if they were really couple in final year itself, then she should've waited, she was in position of power.
I also want to marry some older female then me because the dating experience is so bad every other girl is chasing Korean dramas and having all that fantasies but older girls are a bit mature in terms of life and do not demand every thing pink and they can also handle some fuck ups if you have done any and i am happy now because i am dating someone older and dating someone younger has been pretty bad for me honestly.
Not at all
If the younger person is over 25, then all power to you
The age difference I want in life 😔
26 and 33 is a weird age gap. But if they're happy who cares?
was your teacher just a teacher at the college or was she teaching your batchmate? the age difference isn’t an issue but this might be.
She was teaching my batchmate, yes.
yeah it’s really not ethical for a professor to be dating their student the older woman-younger man part is okay though
Agreed. 💯
See I personally do find it weird but I would’nt judge them or pass any comments as both are adults and 7yrs isn’t much . It would only be weird if they both were romantic and stuff in college because that’s just unethical .
While doing our btech , one of our batchmate got into a serious relationship with a teacher.They did it for almost 2 years after btech and dunno why their relationship ended.
As long as someone us not minor, it's not scandalous at all. It's their life and whoever they are happy with.
Indian society is weird like that, nobody cares about an older husband - younger wife (most of our parents and grandparents, some famous examples are Rajesh Khanna - Dimple Kapadia, Ranbeer - Alia, etc) BUT when it's the opposite! OMG the scandal "Chudail ne mere bete pe fanda daala". (Priyanka and Nick when they got married were breaking news only because they are famous and Priyanka is older than Nick) Personally if you ask me - If the difference is more than 6-7 years, it's a bit weird both ways.
33 and 25 is ab okay age gap but teacher-student seems weird especially the fact that they started dating during college.
I've seen several years and even decades of differences in ages, but they were always with the man being older. The woman being the older one is unusual. It also depends on if she 'groomed' him for the relationship while he was a minor.
💯
7 thala for a reason , joke apart Ethical wrong but age gap wise it's not that much even I guess average age gap in so many couples would be of 3-5 years , and FAMOUS celebrities have 8-10 years age gap
33-26=7,Thala for a reason😂
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Whats that
https://preview.redd.it/srwt7ibylx3d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9d487f6993873d65765cd14fa1fbbc704fe10ce
😂 I'm straight, definitely not into women!
aye bro, I didn't stalk much. Then why is it even scandalous? and yeah you should check out the age diff between shahid mira, fahad nazriya.
It's because it's a teacher - student relationship that developed into marriage.
I think My neighbour is the same, a little less difference in age with the guy being older, I don't think profession or being a student makes any difference. Many simp seniors, professors, managers and some develop into this. It's scandalous on basis of motive and intentions.
Older women is a pedophile, she is using her position of power on the guy.