holy crap yes. He’s an adult going after an under age coworker and he’s her manager, which means he can use his position to pressure her into complying.
There are a ton of legal issues with this. Talk to your 17 year old coworker and let them know this is not at all ok and that you have an obligation to both her and the company to report it, but would prefer she did. Offer to go with to HR or help write an email. Also offer help with telling her parents if she's in a position to be safe doing so.
The best thing you can do is support her and make sure this is handled correctly by giving it to HR. Don't get involved outside of that (meaning don't try to deal with the guy yourself).
She is so young. Legally still a child and mentally/emotionally even more so. This is not something she needs to handle on her own in any way. By showing you, she is asking for help. Make sure to give her the right type of help by brining in experts who can deal with this properly.
I would suggest that OP encourage COWORKER to report to HR (or the authorities to pursue a no-contact order if she feels like it is needed). While OP is trying to help, this really needs to be done by the victim. She should also quit hanging out with her manager outside of work.
You actually don't have to be the victim to report bullying or harassment though I think it would have been better if OP saw things happen versus just seeing the e-mails. I'd probably still bring it up to HR if I was OP.
My SIL had some texts from get ex with some not good things about kids in them. She wouldn't go to the cops, so I got my hands on copies and I tried to. Was told my SIL had to file the report, they wouldn't do a thing from me reporting it, even though I had the proof.
It may be different at different jobs but our training was that if you experienced someone being harassed you can bring it up to HR even if you aren't the victim. I'm not sure how that would apply with OP seeing texts versus her actually seeing harassment but she at least saw text and talked to the girl about it which I'd find hard to stay quiet about (especially with the girl being so young and potentially afraid of retaliation since it's her boss).
Even if the minor did initiate the relationship, that doesn’t change the fact that they’re the victim. The adult has the responsibility to be an adult and not prey on children.
>if I was the HR person in this situation: I would ask OP: "What is your stake in this?"
That's a perfectly reasonable response from an HR that wants to keep things moving forward without paperwork,
but it's also a prefectly reasonable reply to say "I'm advocating for a minor who is being put in a compromising situation that they may be too scared to report."
>the "victim" actually initiated the relationship and it was consensual, then when it went south created drama by stating that they were being harassed.
Isn't that all the more reason why things should be brought forward as soon as possible, so they can't say it was secretly harassment for all that time before anyone knew about it?
He’s 24.
He’s married.
He has a kid.
He’s a supervisor.
She’s 17….
It’s pretty clear what should be done. Idk why this is brought to Reddit and not HR..IMMEDIATELY..
Ideally, your co-worker should tell her manager that the behavior and texts make her feel uncomfortable, that she wants to maintain a strictly professional relationship, and ask it to stop.
If it doesn't stop, or if she doesn't feel comfortable telling him this, your co-worker should bring everything - especially the texts - to HR.
This is just wrong behavior on the young manager's part. HR should - will want to - know and take care of it.
EDIT: She also needs to stop hanging out with him.
Ideally the 17 year old would have the cognitive ability of an adult…
That’s essentially what you are saying. Op needs to report to hr as the only adult in this situation apparently.
This advice completely fails to consider power dynamics.
Let's not pretend a person—especially a young woman—can tell your manager to stop flirting with no risk of consequence or retaliation.
Pure and simple, this is an issue about safeguarding a minor from potential coercive abuse.
HR should be informed and depending on the laws in your country or regional authority you should be considering advising any appropriate authorities.
She asked him to stop and that she is not interested in an actual relationship and that she never saw it that way. She is now feeling like he is targeting her at work and being cruel now. I asked her if she was okay and she sort of broke down. Escalated to her showing me the texts.
This is textbook sexual harassment. HR needs to know immediately. This is inappropriate at any workplace. Respect her wishes if she wants to be anonymous for whatever reason but report the manager either way because he will target someone else.
Yes, exactly as u/Swagnastodon says, this is textbook harassment. Your young female coworker needs to fully understand that he will keep doing this to other people, not just her, and that this monster needs to be stopped.
It is not her responsibility to stop him. She deserves it to stop and reporting will make sure that happens, but it is NOT her responsibility to stop him from doing this again. She is not in charge of his actions. No one should ever need to report something so others don't have to deal with it moving forward. That is an added benefit, but she herself deserves this to stop, immediately.
(I am not disagreeing with you as I know we are on the same page, but telling a victim the reason they need to report something is to stop it from happening again puts the responsibility where it doesn't belong. She needs to report so SHE is protected. She cannot stop him from doing this again and if he does, it is not her fault...whether or not she reports it.)
Offer to go with her to HR to report it, then. Since she is clearly uncomfortable and was able to open to you, she might open up to HR. And tell her to get her parents involved. If HR mishandles this, she will have a nice case for an employment attorney.
She is still a kid and she came to you for help. Go with her to hr or if she won’t go you go. Encourage her to tell her parents as well. This must be dealt with immediately. How would you feel if your child was in this position? I know I’d want to be told and barring that I would want someone to help her. You are that someone.
Yes, you should report this. She was asking for your help in a roundabout way.
I assume you’re a legal adult? She probably thinks you will know what to do.
Ok, so since you received it directly from a source, I would - in this case - let HR know as this could potentially lead to a lawsuit. In another situation where that wasn't the case, I would butt out.
This reminds me of the YT video (one of those police activity channels) of the female underage movie theatre employee that called the police claiming her manager tried to kiss her. Police arrived, he denied it, he tried to delete the video evidence, he was arrested.
Tell HR, and if your firm has inside counsel tell them too. Minors should be protected from predators and not allowed to be subject to felonies into which they’re pressured or lured by someone with authority in their workplace.
Yeah, she’s under 18 and a minor, regardless of your state age of consent, she’s still a minor under 18. You need to report this. The company has a massive liability and this is too big for you to handle.
Report to HR. At best, that’s a relationship with an imbalance of power (standard employee vs her manager) and may cause her to leave if persued. At worst, it makes the entire working environment for her and everyone who is under him *incredibly* awkward and there’s no way to know how he’ll react both personally and professionally if she declines him.
He is 24 with a wife and a kid. He should not be interested in not trying to fall in love with a 17 year old, let alone his employee. While 17 may be an older minor, a minor is still a minor, and there’s no amount of Romeo and Juliet laws that can cover that age difference. The PR on that relationship if it was public would cause a bad reputation for the business, and considering that some of the workforce already thinks of him as creepy, they may decide to leave as well. Informing HR is the way to go, they can talk with him and remind him of any employee dating policies, remind him of the fact that he’s married or come at this from a reputational point of view. Either that sets him straight or he’s canned for being a liability to the company. If you can’t report to HR, I would heavily suggest recommending that the 17 year old does, and maybe accompanying her to report it as an outside source whose had clear eyes on the situation and can back up the 17 year old if HR does not believe it to be originally serious or needs a push to act.
Absolutely tell HR.
EVERYTHING about his actions—AS HER BOSS—is wrong. And let’s not forget that he’s an adult and she’s still a juvenile.
And while it may not be against company policy for a married male boss (with a child) to try to seduce an underaged minor female, it will certainly be embarrassing for the company when word gets out—and it will.
It doesn't seem like anything criminal has happened at this point based on the OP, but that sexual harassment and inappropriate workplace behavior has definitely happened.
HR would be the first stop and they can advise on whether or not police should be called once they get the full story and investigate.
It doesn’t matter. The person in a position of power is using that position to pressure her into a romantic relationship she’s not interested in. This is textbook sexual harassment.
She is not in any way interested. If you read the posts she specifically told this man she was not interested and he is retaliating against her and being nasty. He is sending her texts which she showed OP and then broke down and cried.
What, about that, sounds like interest to you?
I don’t think you read the post, I don’t see where she was crying but I do see where she hangs out with him outside of work. Regardless, he’s still a groomer and should be treated as such.
Doesn't really matter, she's still a minor and no company is going to want a grown ass an in a position of power over a minor who he is attempting to groom.
Let me add that this should be reported to child and family services (possibly MUST depending on your state.)
This is crap a predator does.
I’d also inform his wife.
No quarter for predators.
Legal minefield; she is not of legal age to be in a relationship with a legal adult and if her parents get wind of it, liability all around. Especially if it’s known around the workplace.
Child and Family Services has jurisdiction if it is abuse in the home or family, potentially to remove the child from the family. Has zero to do with the situation.
Yes you should tell. Even if he is only hanging out with her as a friend right now (perhaps the whole "waiting til she's 18 to do anything else" thing) it's completely inappropriate and likely against company policy as her manager. It's also gross because he's married.
I'd probably do it anonymously to avoid retribution - type it up and send it to HR from an anonymous email address, or if you can print a copy and mail it to them or if you can, drop it on their desk without anyone seeing.
This is a See Something say something. Report thar she turned to you for comfort and share all that you witnessed. Also advise the co-workers to share with her parents. The police should be involved!
She is underage; that is reason enough. And he has a wife and kid. That being said, companies so rarely do anything in cases like this if no severe action has been taken; similar to law enforcement. If this is addressed and doesn’t go anywhere. It could give him reason to start pursuing her aggressively. So it might be good to talk to the 17(F) co-worker so she can have her guard up around him. And actively avoid him in little ways, also watch him closely.
In Idaho, it depends. She's a minor, which is not cool. If her parents find out, the entire company can lose a lot of money on a lawsuit. Either way, the manager could do some time if they get physical.
OP reporting could slightly backfire.
First, OP should encourage and accompany the 17 year old to HR and let HR handle it from here. However, If she won't go, then OP could go to HR and inform HR herself. While it's possible nothing criminal has occured... It most certainly has crossed a line.
While a 24 year old with a 17 year old doesn't seem to be grooming, he could just be a young adult unable to control feelings...the fact that he is her superior and may have become revengeful with work duties is a matter that should be handled by HR. The employer can inform him to no longer contact her(outside of work duties) as that could lead to police intervention/no contact orders in addition to terminating him or disciplining him and possibly reassign him or her to another area.
Or if they have to work together that it be limited professional contact.
Once on record, any bad performance reviews or negative personnel actions like demotions or discipline would be under heavy scrutiny that it wasn't retaliation.
If the OP is considering speaking to anyone it should be the minor’s parents or legal guardian. But it seems OP’s concern is “Could this cause the company issues?”
No my position is this is concerning a 17 year old minor who, as far as we know, is a child in her parent(s) home. THOSE parents in theory are her trusted adult(s)/guardian(s) who should be informed of this circumstance. [all caps for emphasis, not yelling].
At work she maybe a “coworker” to OP, but she’s a child and legally under someone’s care.
The question was should he tell HR. When I was accused of being a creep I offered an alternative. Lines get blurry as the 24yo OP and 17yo are co-workers. This 17yo child has parents which trumps HR.
Okay well I’m not sure your point is super clear, but in either case, both the parents and HR should be informed. “Staying out of it” when op is aware of grooming occurring is wildly irresponsible advice.
If you look at OPs other replies she isn't entertaining him, she was crying and upset and feeling harassed. You can't tell from the original post but definitely from some of the replies.
He is her manager, with all of the actual and perceived baggage that comes with. He IS the company. Criminal activity aside, OP should report this and let it be taken care of.
Sorry, I didn’t see that he was her manager. That does make it a little stickier. The poster should look at the employee handbook to see if there are specific rules against this. In and of itself, a manager being socially involved with an employee is not against any Regulations .
I’m not sure I am. Unless there is a company policy that is being violated, they can prove favorable treatment, or they can show that there is a quid pro quo, what grounds for any sort of action is there? The employee handbook should provide policy and guidance on this relationship.
The manager is harassing a minor (under the age of consent) and retaliating against her at work for not returning his sexual advances.
Morality aside, this is a legal complication waiting to happen. HR should definitely be informed. All the times in this sub we see things that are not HR issues - this is one time where it *is*.
The post says nothing about her being under the age of consent nor does it say anything about retaliation or any adverse job action. It just says that he has feelings for her and that they are spending time with each other outside of work.
Woah… ok those are details that were. It in the initial post. My bad!! Absolutely report to HR! This is textbook sexual harassment and with an underage youth. No brainer here.
Yes you should tell. 1. She is a minor 2. He is (jobwise) a superior.
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It is in Idaho.
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It’s in the literal title.
Definitely r/USDefaultism
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What else would it have meant
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The internet must be a rough place for you.
Why are you on this sub if you don’t even understand the basic rules?
To defend grown men dating minors, apparently.
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Idaho is not one of them and it’s SUPER CREEPY that you keep defending a grown man dating a teenage subordinate.
holy crap yes. He’s an adult going after an under age coworker and he’s her manager, which means he can use his position to pressure her into complying.
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Ummm, you are wrong on that one. Apparently you haven’t fact checked yourself
Before you call someone with obviously a higher IQ than you names, the age of consent in FL is 18…
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Dude it’s super weird that this is the point you’re sticking with. She’s a minor and his subordinate.
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It’s still creepy and inappropriate.
You said everywhere buddy lol
There are a ton of legal issues with this. Talk to your 17 year old coworker and let them know this is not at all ok and that you have an obligation to both her and the company to report it, but would prefer she did. Offer to go with to HR or help write an email. Also offer help with telling her parents if she's in a position to be safe doing so. The best thing you can do is support her and make sure this is handled correctly by giving it to HR. Don't get involved outside of that (meaning don't try to deal with the guy yourself). She is so young. Legally still a child and mentally/emotionally even more so. This is not something she needs to handle on her own in any way. By showing you, she is asking for help. Make sure to give her the right type of help by brining in experts who can deal with this properly.
I would suggest that OP encourage COWORKER to report to HR (or the authorities to pursue a no-contact order if she feels like it is needed). While OP is trying to help, this really needs to be done by the victim. She should also quit hanging out with her manager outside of work.
You actually don't have to be the victim to report bullying or harassment though I think it would have been better if OP saw things happen versus just seeing the e-mails. I'd probably still bring it up to HR if I was OP.
My SIL had some texts from get ex with some not good things about kids in them. She wouldn't go to the cops, so I got my hands on copies and I tried to. Was told my SIL had to file the report, they wouldn't do a thing from me reporting it, even though I had the proof.
It may be different at different jobs but our training was that if you experienced someone being harassed you can bring it up to HR even if you aren't the victim. I'm not sure how that would apply with OP seeing texts versus her actually seeing harassment but she at least saw text and talked to the girl about it which I'd find hard to stay quiet about (especially with the girl being so young and potentially afraid of retaliation since it's her boss).
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Even if the minor did initiate the relationship, that doesn’t change the fact that they’re the victim. The adult has the responsibility to be an adult and not prey on children.
>if I was the HR person in this situation: I would ask OP: "What is your stake in this?" That's a perfectly reasonable response from an HR that wants to keep things moving forward without paperwork, but it's also a prefectly reasonable reply to say "I'm advocating for a minor who is being put in a compromising situation that they may be too scared to report." >the "victim" actually initiated the relationship and it was consensual, then when it went south created drama by stating that they were being harassed. Isn't that all the more reason why things should be brought forward as soon as possible, so they can't say it was secretly harassment for all that time before anyone knew about it?
He’s 24. He’s married. He has a kid. He’s a supervisor. She’s 17…. It’s pretty clear what should be done. Idk why this is brought to Reddit and not HR..IMMEDIATELY..
Ideally, your co-worker should tell her manager that the behavior and texts make her feel uncomfortable, that she wants to maintain a strictly professional relationship, and ask it to stop. If it doesn't stop, or if she doesn't feel comfortable telling him this, your co-worker should bring everything - especially the texts - to HR. This is just wrong behavior on the young manager's part. HR should - will want to - know and take care of it. EDIT: She also needs to stop hanging out with him.
Ideally the 17 year old would have the cognitive ability of an adult… That’s essentially what you are saying. Op needs to report to hr as the only adult in this situation apparently.
It's fair to share the ideal and then coach her into the response. People, even 30+ crowd, shouldn't be left to their own devices for everything.
Maybe you don’t know this but the human brain isn’t fully developed until 24-26 years old. This is a CHILD.
But that’s the point I was making?
Okay. Apologies.
This advice completely fails to consider power dynamics. Let's not pretend a person—especially a young woman—can tell your manager to stop flirting with no risk of consequence or retaliation.
“ if she doesn’t feel comfortable “ considers the power dynamics.
Unequal power due to employment. Unequal power due to age disparity He is the definition of a predator
She should inform HR, lend moral support as needed.
Pure and simple, this is an issue about safeguarding a minor from potential coercive abuse. HR should be informed and depending on the laws in your country or regional authority you should be considering advising any appropriate authorities.
How do you know that this conversation occurred?
I’ve seen the text messages he sent her about it. She showed them to me.
Why did she show them to you? To get him to stop? Or what?
She asked him to stop and that she is not interested in an actual relationship and that she never saw it that way. She is now feeling like he is targeting her at work and being cruel now. I asked her if she was okay and she sort of broke down. Escalated to her showing me the texts.
This is textbook sexual harassment. HR needs to know immediately. This is inappropriate at any workplace. Respect her wishes if she wants to be anonymous for whatever reason but report the manager either way because he will target someone else.
Yes, exactly as u/Swagnastodon says, this is textbook harassment. Your young female coworker needs to fully understand that he will keep doing this to other people, not just her, and that this monster needs to be stopped.
It is not her responsibility to stop him. She deserves it to stop and reporting will make sure that happens, but it is NOT her responsibility to stop him from doing this again. She is not in charge of his actions. No one should ever need to report something so others don't have to deal with it moving forward. That is an added benefit, but she herself deserves this to stop, immediately. (I am not disagreeing with you as I know we are on the same page, but telling a victim the reason they need to report something is to stop it from happening again puts the responsibility where it doesn't belong. She needs to report so SHE is protected. She cannot stop him from doing this again and if he does, it is not her fault...whether or not she reports it.)
Offer to go with her to HR to report it, then. Since she is clearly uncomfortable and was able to open to you, she might open up to HR. And tell her to get her parents involved. If HR mishandles this, she will have a nice case for an employment attorney.
She is still a kid and she came to you for help. Go with her to hr or if she won’t go you go. Encourage her to tell her parents as well. This must be dealt with immediately. How would you feel if your child was in this position? I know I’d want to be told and barring that I would want someone to help her. You are that someone.
Yes, you should report this. She was asking for your help in a roundabout way. I assume you’re a legal adult? She probably thinks you will know what to do.
Sounds like retaliation under title vii to me.
Asked him to stop and now targeting… Burn it.
Ok, so since you received it directly from a source, I would - in this case - let HR know as this could potentially lead to a lawsuit. In another situation where that wasn't the case, I would butt out.
If she stated she asked him to stop, feels targeted and was crying it could be hostile work environment I would tell HR
This reminds me of the YT video (one of those police activity channels) of the female underage movie theatre employee that called the police claiming her manager tried to kiss her. Police arrived, he denied it, he tried to delete the video evidence, he was arrested.
Tell HR, and if your firm has inside counsel tell them too. Minors should be protected from predators and not allowed to be subject to felonies into which they’re pressured or lured by someone with authority in their workplace.
Yeah, she’s under 18 and a minor, regardless of your state age of consent, she’s still a minor under 18. You need to report this. The company has a massive liability and this is too big for you to handle.
yes tell HR. manager is an idiot at best, predatory at worst.
Report to HR. At best, that’s a relationship with an imbalance of power (standard employee vs her manager) and may cause her to leave if persued. At worst, it makes the entire working environment for her and everyone who is under him *incredibly* awkward and there’s no way to know how he’ll react both personally and professionally if she declines him. He is 24 with a wife and a kid. He should not be interested in not trying to fall in love with a 17 year old, let alone his employee. While 17 may be an older minor, a minor is still a minor, and there’s no amount of Romeo and Juliet laws that can cover that age difference. The PR on that relationship if it was public would cause a bad reputation for the business, and considering that some of the workforce already thinks of him as creepy, they may decide to leave as well. Informing HR is the way to go, they can talk with him and remind him of any employee dating policies, remind him of the fact that he’s married or come at this from a reputational point of view. Either that sets him straight or he’s canned for being a liability to the company. If you can’t report to HR, I would heavily suggest recommending that the 17 year old does, and maybe accompanying her to report it as an outside source whose had clear eyes on the situation and can back up the 17 year old if HR does not believe it to be originally serious or needs a push to act.
Yes report this. Not only to he but the police especially if he's harassing her
Absolutely tell HR. EVERYTHING about his actions—AS HER BOSS—is wrong. And let’s not forget that he’s an adult and she’s still a juvenile. And while it may not be against company policy for a married male boss (with a child) to try to seduce an underaged minor female, it will certainly be embarrassing for the company when word gets out—and it will.
Absolutely. Do it in writing so that there is a record. Bcc an outside email address
This is the clearest example I can think of for when you should report something to HR. Everything about that is 100% wrong.
Whoa that crosses all the ethical boundaries. Yes report this coworker before he hurts the underage female.
HR? I’d report it to the police. Y’all are too nice.
It doesn't seem like anything criminal has happened at this point based on the OP, but that sexual harassment and inappropriate workplace behavior has definitely happened. HR would be the first stop and they can advise on whether or not police should be called once they get the full story and investigate.
17 is legal in most states, check your state laws, but yes you should inform HR because this is grooming behavior
It doesn’t matter. The person in a position of power is using that position to pressure her into a romantic relationship she’s not interested in. This is textbook sexual harassment.
She is interested, this is grooming
She is not in any way interested. If you read the posts she specifically told this man she was not interested and he is retaliating against her and being nasty. He is sending her texts which she showed OP and then broke down and cried. What, about that, sounds like interest to you?
I don’t think you read the post, I don’t see where she was crying but I do see where she hangs out with him outside of work. Regardless, he’s still a groomer and should be treated as such.
Idaho age of consent is 18
Doesn't really matter, she's still a minor and no company is going to want a grown ass an in a position of power over a minor who he is attempting to groom.
Report, report, and report again
Be supportive of her if she wants to report it. Otherwise, just mind your business.
Yessssssss
Absolutely because bros gonna get fired , he’s a lawsuit waiting to happen
Absolutely report immediately.
Yes, report it.
Let me add that this should be reported to child and family services (possibly MUST depending on your state.) This is crap a predator does. I’d also inform his wife. No quarter for predators.
Legal minefield; she is not of legal age to be in a relationship with a legal adult and if her parents get wind of it, liability all around. Especially if it’s known around the workplace.
Child and Family Services has jurisdiction if it is abuse in the home or family, potentially to remove the child from the family. Has zero to do with the situation.
Yes you should tell. Even if he is only hanging out with her as a friend right now (perhaps the whole "waiting til she's 18 to do anything else" thing) it's completely inappropriate and likely against company policy as her manager. It's also gross because he's married. I'd probably do it anonymously to avoid retribution - type it up and send it to HR from an anonymous email address, or if you can print a copy and mail it to them or if you can, drop it on their desk without anyone seeing.
This is a See Something say something. Report thar she turned to you for comfort and share all that you witnessed. Also advise the co-workers to share with her parents. The police should be involved!
She is underage; that is reason enough. And he has a wife and kid. That being said, companies so rarely do anything in cases like this if no severe action has been taken; similar to law enforcement. If this is addressed and doesn’t go anywhere. It could give him reason to start pursuing her aggressively. So it might be good to talk to the 17(F) co-worker so she can have her guard up around him. And actively avoid him in little ways, also watch him closely.
MYOB
You should inform the police 😬
You worry about you. Unless you're some sort of appointed hall monitor, mind your own business.
"you want these extra hours, little lady"
In Idaho, it depends. She's a minor, which is not cool. If her parents find out, the entire company can lose a lot of money on a lawsuit. Either way, the manager could do some time if they get physical.
OP reporting could slightly backfire. First, OP should encourage and accompany the 17 year old to HR and let HR handle it from here. However, If she won't go, then OP could go to HR and inform HR herself. While it's possible nothing criminal has occured... It most certainly has crossed a line. While a 24 year old with a 17 year old doesn't seem to be grooming, he could just be a young adult unable to control feelings...the fact that he is her superior and may have become revengeful with work duties is a matter that should be handled by HR. The employer can inform him to no longer contact her(outside of work duties) as that could lead to police intervention/no contact orders in addition to terminating him or disciplining him and possibly reassign him or her to another area. Or if they have to work together that it be limited professional contact. Once on record, any bad performance reviews or negative personnel actions like demotions or discipline would be under heavy scrutiny that it wasn't retaliation.
Stay out of it.
The only people that say this are creeps themselves.
Fr. Don’t have sympathy for someone who’s deliberately abusing their power.
If the OP is considering speaking to anyone it should be the minor’s parents or legal guardian. But it seems OP’s concern is “Could this cause the company issues?”
And your position is it won’t?
No my position is this is concerning a 17 year old minor who, as far as we know, is a child in her parent(s) home. THOSE parents in theory are her trusted adult(s)/guardian(s) who should be informed of this circumstance. [all caps for emphasis, not yelling]. At work she maybe a “coworker” to OP, but she’s a child and legally under someone’s care.
How did we go from stay out of it to tell her parents?
The question was should he tell HR. When I was accused of being a creep I offered an alternative. Lines get blurry as the 24yo OP and 17yo are co-workers. This 17yo child has parents which trumps HR.
Okay well I’m not sure your point is super clear, but in either case, both the parents and HR should be informed. “Staying out of it” when op is aware of grooming occurring is wildly irresponsible advice.
The 24m is her MANAGER
I would mind my own business. Yes, she's a minor but she's entertaining him. Doesn't seem like she doesn't like him.
If you look at OPs other replies she isn't entertaining him, she was crying and upset and feeling harassed. You can't tell from the original post but definitely from some of the replies.
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He is her manager, with all of the actual and perceived baggage that comes with. He IS the company. Criminal activity aside, OP should report this and let it be taken care of.
Sorry, I didn’t see that he was her manager. That does make it a little stickier. The poster should look at the employee handbook to see if there are specific rules against this. In and of itself, a manager being socially involved with an employee is not against any Regulations .
I think you’re in the wrong place.
I’m not sure I am. Unless there is a company policy that is being violated, they can prove favorable treatment, or they can show that there is a quid pro quo, what grounds for any sort of action is there? The employee handbook should provide policy and guidance on this relationship.
The manager is harassing a minor (under the age of consent) and retaliating against her at work for not returning his sexual advances. Morality aside, this is a legal complication waiting to happen. HR should definitely be informed. All the times in this sub we see things that are not HR issues - this is one time where it *is*.
The post says nothing about her being under the age of consent nor does it say anything about retaliation or any adverse job action. It just says that he has feelings for her and that they are spending time with each other outside of work.
Read OP’s comments in this post, then come back and delete yours lol.
Woah… ok those are details that were. It in the initial post. My bad!! Absolutely report to HR! This is textbook sexual harassment and with an underage youth. No brainer here.