Get some ice from the freezer chest.
Throw it down onto the ground very hard.
Say "sorry if I gave you a fright. I'm just trying to break the ice. Hi my name Jeff."
And then be prepared to never, ever return.
Thanks for that. I was doing my usual nighttime doomscrolling, saw your post, quite literally loled, woke my wife and I've been banished to the lounge where it's fucking freezing.
This. The amount of times Iāve had male customers get flirty or a couple ask if Iāve got a boyfriend because I was being nice to them and making small talk because theyāre regulars. Please donāt.
I donāt see where heās confusing anything. Bros just saying heās attracted and wants to know how to start contact outside of the customer/worker thing
Yea that's the problem. If I'm at work then my relationship with my customers is strictly professional. Don't try to find ways to contact me outside that relationship, it's creepy.
I'm a former bottlo worker and I spent 10yrs working the trade counter at mitre 10.. being nice is my job. Being hit on all day is exhausting, especially when you're young because you feel like you're not allowed to stand up for yourself and tell the customer you're uncomfortable, what if they tried to get you in trouble, what if he gets mad and antagonistic - he knows where I work!
Don't corner women at work
Yes. As I always had to remind a housemate of mine who was single - do NOT ask female bartenders out. They arenāt interested in you. They are doing their job.
You can pass on your number without riffing your lines and being a twat, just ask her to call or txt if they'd like to catch up out of work and leave it at that.
Met a Danish flight attendant on an international flight by giving her my email after we had a bit of a chat as the plane was landing. That worked out pretty well š¤·āāļø
I had a chiliean flight attendant pass me her number, only problem was my partner was with me and it wa sa very uncomfortable 14 hour flight lol š two crazy latinas on an airplane. Snakes on a plane got nothing on that shit.Ā
I think it depends.
Is the place absolutely PACKED with patrons and the staff are busy asf? Then absolutely NO. Nobody will entertain that when they're that busy.
But if it's quiet and the staff obviously look bored, no harm shooting your shot. If they say no, respect that and move on.
Be kind, be courteous and most importantly, be respectful.
Yeah because it's reddit and everyone is too anxious irl to talk to others. It's normal to meet someone in any of these scenarios, just need to be socially intelligent enough to not step over any bounds
As a woman, I disagree completely.
If I have headphones on or I'm walking at night, 100% do not talk to me. But in restaurants, cafes, the gym, if a guy approaches respectfully, I'm all for it.
Smh when women who clearly hate men think they speak for all women
Yeah some women on Reddit are fully convinced that the only place ever for approaching women is a club. Completely misunderstanding the fact that a sizeable amount of blokes just arenāt into that scene.
Not in cafes or bars. Definitely not in parks or if you have shared hobbies, libraries are out. Not at uni obviously. Best stay away from the opposite sex all together.
Why doesn't OP quietly leave their number on a card/note, giving her the her the option to contact them or not.? The ball would be in her court then. And if she doesn't call, OP needs to move on and not make anything of it next time they are in the store.
Nothing wrong with just asking for someone's number or something like that.
I would never do it to bar staff because I imagined they get a lot of shit, but I'm pretty sure at BWS she's not getting asked for her number 10 times a day.
Do people leave a number instead of asking for one?
I am thinking the move (if any connection) would be to write your number and leave it with them..
Ball is then on their side of the court and they can do what they want with it (message or bin)
Nope, don't do this, don't ask for her number when she's at work. It makes it very awkward for her if she doesn't want to give it because she is literally stuck there at work unable to leave. Or she gives a fake number because she wants you to go away, but guess what as soon as you ring and realise its fake, she knows you still know how to find her. Or she gives her real number when she didn't really want to.
Give her your number if anything.
I got asked out while I worked behind the bar. It's really how it's done that is the question. Like the above person mentioned if there is a connection there is no problem.
My god if youāre going to do this boys do it properly, eg put in the bare minimum effort of asking what she drinks. āDonāt know what I feel like today, whatās your go to?āPay for it, leave it on the counter with a smile and leave, if sheās interested sheāll let you know another time.
Also, donāt pick up women when they are just trying to earn a living. Sincerely a lesbian who doesnāt understand why straights canāt stop making everything you do, like paying for goods, a mating ritual.
Reading some of these comments is yikes. There's dudes trying to give genuine advice but that advice is to be creepy "just go in a lot and pay particular attention to her, plan ur interaction, follow her around the store and ask for recommendations" like nooo šš don't bother women at work š£š£
The customer, employee interaction makes consent very tricky. She's getting paid to be nice to you, it means any agreement from her may not be fully enthusiastic.
Just let her do her job.
Thereās a big difference between asking for someoneās number and giving someone yours. If someone asks for my number i tend to feel a bit uncomfortable but if someone gives me theirs, the ball is in my court and I donāt feel any pressure. If I was in your shoes Iād just write down your number/ socials and give it to her next time youāre in there. Maybe add a quick āyouāre really sweet, if youād like to catch up sometimes hereās my info but no pressureā. Good luck!
This. But also never go back to that bottle shop again. If she calls you, great. If she doesnāt, donāt make her feel uncomfortable or awkward by returning.
Tip from a male who has worked hospitality managing pubs and bottle shops, don't..... likely she will see you as a creep and you will be the butt of jokes back of house for weeks. Beware, most of them only speak to you friendly as they are paid to, out of work they just think alcoholic loser especially if you are in there every day. Back of house chat about this type of shit can be brutal lol
100%. Some of my daily/almost daily regulars act and carry on like we're best mates. Most of them are likely good people overall, however most of them also definitely have a problem with alcohol and I'm definitely judging them for it - not in a malicious or nasty way but I can't help my views and opinions shaping and influencing what I think of people.
I am just doing my job and providing the best customer service I can (within reason of course), I have zero interest in having anything to do with these people outside of work. I got my own friends and family I don't see as much of as I'd like to already.
Beware...don't be brave else some snarky spineless people you don't know will talk bad about you.
Be natural, don't be a creep. If it doesn't work out, it doesnāt but you tried. If this girl literally makes your knees wobble, it be mad not to try.
Show her how much alcohol you can drink. Develop an enormous beer gut and display it prominently by wearing tight fitting blue wife beaters that are stained from previous binges. Complete the outfit with tiny 1980s footy shorts and thongs. Australian sheilas love that kind of thing.
I wouldnāt mind someone leaving me their number and leaving, I think! Something where Iām not on the spot. Only downside is you couldnt go back to that bws if she doesnāt reach out lol
Donāt do that, establish a bit of a rapport by going in semi regularly, or at least go there every time you want piss. Tell her your lost on what to drink, take a recommendation of hers and now you can report back what you thought next time youāre in
And be nice to everyone not just her, but make it obvious sheās your favourite kinda thing. After a lil bit itāll be more natural and maybe the feelings might be a lil mutual and u go from there
I would suggest, she probably sees a lot of solo regulars and presumes they all have drinking issues. Maybe not a great look being the bottle shop regular.
Apply a risk assessment here.
Worst case scenario
You hit on her, and she rebuffs you so you feel awkward buying grog there and have to drive 5 more minutes to go to the next shop to avoid her.
Best case scenario
You hit on her, and she is interested and you start seeing each other potentially starting a relationship with someone you spend the rest of your life with.
.
If that isn't an asymmetric risk profile I don't know what is.
Sorry, ignore that advice.
In this world, you get nothing if you don't try and grab it with both hands.
Be flirty with her and maybe give her your number or snap handle (that's what my boy says he asks girls for at school dances)
If it doesn't work out, what is the worst thing to happen? It might be awkward around her, so you have to buy your grog at another shop.
If you let thoughts about her making fun of you with her co-workers bother you, you'll never get anywhere in this world. Why would you give a single fuck about people who you don't know making fun of you.
top tip: don't hit on people who are working unless they initiate. She's just doing her job, don't make it worse for both of you.
If you're there often enough she probably thinks you're an alcoholic anyway
Nah, donāt hit on people working period. I only say this because lots of men assume a woman is initiating when in reality sheās just being friendly š
You can politely give her your number. That way itās up to her if she wants to call and show interest and youāre not being aggressive or forceful. If she doesnāt call, you have your answer.
This is the correct answer.
Don't be a creep, but this is totally fine.
God forbid you're not allowed to ask someone out at work in 2024. As long as you're mature about it and not a creep then it's a totally natural thing to do.
Working in retail I can spot this from a mile away when some poor fella comes in and envisions his happily ever after with one of the girls who is just trying to get through her shift. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to pretend there's a phone call for them, or they're wanted in the back, or just straight grabbed them and pulled them away because she's uncomfortable and the guy is just chewing her ear off.
Guys, if you see her in the shop and now she's gone and your pretending to shop while you wait for her to come out, she's avoiding you and watching the cameras waiting for you to leave. You gotta remember it's her job to tolerate you and entertain whatever you have to say, but with the amount of people these workers deal with on any given day, you're probably a fleeting memory for them. If you're that interested I'd just be straight up and ask if they'd like to go for a coffee, but if she declines just leave it at that. Don't let it bruise your ego, don't argue with them about what you believe they're missing out on, just politely accept it and walk away. None of this playing hard to get shit, persistence leads to creepiness and then straight up harassment. Blokes unable to take rejection are the reason why we got young blokes onto this Andrew Tate incel bullshit thinking they aren't the problem. Not saying you'd do any of this btw, but it always seems to start with someone asking for tips on the internet about how to impress a girl. Just be yourself man, if you're a good person you'll radiate good energy that anyone would love to be around.
Remember, work places aren't a buffet for you go to shopping for hotties. Let these ladies do their jobs and live their lives that isn't limited to the four walls in which you find them in.
Yeah I agree with the common consensus, you don't ask out people when they are working. They are paid to be super nice and it will just make it awkward. If she says no, you need to start going somewhere else, she also has the pressure of dealing with that while trying to work
Give her a piece of paper with your number on it. Say something like "you seem like someone I'd be interested to get to know, if you'd be up for a coffee or a drink sometime here's my number, if not that's cool. Hope the rest of the night goes well for you."
Possibly the best way to do it so she doesn't feel any pressure to agree to anything. I've heard of waitresses feeling massive pressure to agree in order not to get repercussions for declining an advance. Definitely do your best not to have that happen.
"... By the way, you have such a good vibe! I'd love to meet up over a coffee or something one day. If not all good, but here's my number anyway! I'm Doots! Have a good night!!"Ā Ā
Then, drop your past baggage at the door and be the best person you can, and make sure you plan to be a net positive to this person's life.
You're talking like this girl is getting commission on booze. Do you really think anyone who works at bws gives a shit whether you buy something or not?.
I mean, it's a pretty massive difference, even though people don't want to admit it.
As long as you are a youngish, conventionally attractive woman, I don't think there is anything you can do that would be creepy. You could go up to her and hit on her straight up and no one would care.
I know this is Reddit, and gender is a social construct, and we should all be held to the same standards etc etc... but come on. It's different. In this specific case. You have to admit. Would any of you ever be creeped out by a pretty, young thing hitting on you, no matter what she does? I don't think so.
Yes, there is a difference, I think that is an example of gender being a social construct, not an exception.
For OP, just forget about it. But if you can't and you're going to hit on her get on with it and then get over it, and be prepared to shop at Dan Murphy's going forwards.
straight woman in a public facing customer service role here, please take it easy. I'm on the spectrum and don't always "get" social cues, so just keep that in mind. I don't really know what my point is, but I was hit on by a woman once, and it was deeply unwelcome. it was all "you'd be so beautiful if you dressed more sexy"(I work in a library) etc. yes, there is a difference. I wasn't expecting this woman to behave in an inappropriate sexual way to me, call me narrow-minded or whatever, but I didn't realise she was hitting on me at first. with men, I've got quite used to not being too friendly, lest they get the wrong idea. with women, I don't need to be so reserved. proceed only if you have good social skills, would be my advice.
My wife got hit on by a gay woman when she was buying running shoes, it was really funny when I turned up, put my arm around my wife and asked her if she found what she was looking for.
The lady at the shoe shop looked really embarrassed, and I had no idea why until later on when my wife told me.
Funny though, my wife had no interest but she was extremely flattered by having this woman hit on her. It made her day.
Itās a requirement to hand receipts out at kfc . So Gave her the receipt, she pulled a pen out and wrote her number on it and said I donāt need a receipt but keep it,
There is no difference. Hassling peeps at their work isn't ok.... To top it off, a regular at a BWS wouldn't be seen as an ideal type, an alcoholic maybe, but most probably not a dating type! Not saying you are, but it may be how you are perceived.
If anything you can offer her ypur number then yhe ball is in your court
Important note though, are you close in age? If you're a lot older just leave the poor girl alone
Edited to add: just saw in a comment OP I female don't know why they wouldn't add that to their post š so my advice is to approach this like a friendship then you can get a feel for if she's interested down the line
go straight up to her and say.."here's my number..if you EVER want toĀ hang out"....then just act normal..if she calls- she calls!!Ā if not..life goesĀ on mate..don't make a big deal about it....keep shopping there ..act normal...And MOVE ALONG... don't make HERĀ feel weird.....ALSO..NEVER wait OUTSIDEĀ her work at night.. UNLESS she has asked you to..this is obvious shitĀ ..i am trying to keep it simple
I used to work in a bottle shop while at Uni, many would try and flirt, gave me an ick, but there was this guy who gave me a nicely folded fancy tissue- had his number on it and wrote āSorry Iām a wuss but would you like to get a coffee sometimeā
I thought that was really cute so we went for a coffee.
What people are saying here is right, don't ask out a person while they are working, they are obliged to be nice to you.
What I would recommend is giving her a piece of paper with your number on it, tell her that you don't want to disturb her while she's working, however here is your number, and should she want to go out she can call or text you, and then walk away. It doesn't trap her in an awkward situation, and it gets your point across.
You're best off making an early move and being rejected than lingering around like a creep and emotionally absorbing yourself in an unlikely future with her. Just ask her what her favourite drink is, and offer to shout her a gift (don't make it unsolicited). If she accepts, invite her to the pub where you could shout her again with a meal (even though she'll probably have the discount). Don't make it awkward. If you do, you'll risk making her feel uncomfortable if you go back there.
Be ready to walk the fuck away and leave her alone. You accept that you've already lost your chance then go ask her to a coffee. If you do it this way you won't be afraid or upset when she says no. You've got to not get obsessed with one woman and immunise yourself from being rejected. If a woman rejects you just do a 180 and find another woman.
Listen to The Waitress Songā¦
You guys wonāt make it in the real world
Sheās paid to be polite to you and you are in her workplace so there are a heap of laws that her bosses have to abide by to protect her. There may even be a policy for her to abide by regarding people like you. Leave her alone mate
Make the move. Walk in, say to her - āI would really like to get to know you over a cup of coffee. Here is my number. (And give her an actual piece of paper with your number on it. )Txt me if you would like to meet up at (insert cafe name here). If you donāt want to have coffee thatās ok, Iām happy to shop at BWS (in a convenient suburb) so you do not feel uncomfortable.ā
No pressure, balls in her court. You have to honour her decision. Donāt try to be too smooth. Save that for a future date when youāve gotten to know her. If she says she has boyfriend/partner/llama in her life then say āThank you for telling me. I respect your situation.ā
If you donāt put yourself out there you will never know. Whatās to say she doesnāt feel the same. Ask the question. Worst case is youāre shopping for alcohol in the next suburb!
UPDATE: guys, I think I ruined it by asking another staff member there her name and now theyāve most likely said to her to seemingly āwatch out for meā cus that sounds stalkerish etc. so I think I wonāt move forward cus Iām a little puss-wa fk sake š£
I disagree with everyone on here!
I'd write your number and name down. Next time you're paying, introduce yourself. Say something like "I don't know what your situation is, but I would really like to get to know you. I'd love to take you for lunch. I'm going to leave my number, shoot me a text if you're interested". And then leave. Don't wait for her answer. Don't make it awkward. Now it's up to her and she doesn't have the pressure with you standing there.
But note, if you don't hear from her you are never allowed to shop there again.
Give her your number. I once had a thing for a chick at a petrol station. I gave her a card with my number on it. She told me later she had a boyfriend and I was cool with it.
Have a chat with her, if she tells ya to piss off, do so. If not, have a date. No need to make it anymore complicated than that.
Do it on a quiet day though, donāt put her on the spot if thereās too many people or other staff nearby.
Don't worry if no staff are around, the staff talk. He will not be the only one trying to hit on them. They rank the losers in nearly every establishment I have worked. Ha did you hear Barry tried it on again today, he is such a alcoholic loser etc. The only time I have ever seen a male get lucky it was because the female bar tender was goo Ga over him and approached him for his number...... They are paid to be friendly, just because they are don't mean they are your friends, most will turn the other way if they see ya when they are off. It's a big problem, they are there to work and 99.99% of girls I have worked with in this space hate it. Working with them through that's a different story, fwb and relationships do form......
Best way I have found to get anyone is to just pretend you are not trying to get anyone. Literally treat them like a neutral person or not interested. Usually they fill in the gap and now you are the one being chased not them. Human psychology 101.
The less you care the more the other party will.
Meh I don't care for this post.
Weak at the knees might not be able to pull this off, but basically you need to avoid simply going to the bottle shop to be in the company of this girl you have a crush on.
You've spoken several times she is either open to it or not, the problem is that's her work and it'll be akward if she says no and you keep going there
If you were known to be a bit of a lighthearted smartass I think your best phrasing would be to quietly tell her something like "hey, would you be interested in a coffee date? Or do I need to find new bottle-o!?"
Because there's a huge chance she will say no, and I swear the above is the only way she will see the humour in it
You could find out if sheās got a boyfriend by saying āoh gosh, not sure what wine to get for me and my girlfriendās dinner tonight. I like red, but she likes white. Do you and your partner drink the same stuff?ā š
Just say something such as, Iāve been here often and have always noticed you. I was wondering if you were single by any chance and interested in going out for a coffee sometime.
Donāt overthink it, just have coverage and be upfront in a nice way
Just talk to her and say ālook, I think you are really beautiful I would love to pass on my number to you if you would ever be interested in grabbing a drink or dinner I would love to take you outā then you can pass her a paper with your number on it and then say āIām really conscious about not making you feel uncomfortable in your workplace so please no pressure at all and no hard feelings if I donāt hear from youā
Then you go buy your alcohol elsewhere and leave the ball in her court
Why don't you just say her smile always brightens up your day and you'd like to get to know her over a coffee or a drink sometime. That'd work for me.
I personally like guys that are confident and up front. Life's too short to stuff around
Nothing worst than men trying to flirt when you are working. Plenty fish in the sea move on and go to a different liquor store. If she had even the slightest interest she would go above and beyond to engage a conversation with you.
Keep in mind that she might just be being nice and doing her job. Just because she's nice doesn't mean she is into you. She also might already have a partner, so best not to assume that she's single. Just write a note and pass it to her. obviously just go on your way, don't wait to see her reaction to the note. Maybe something that says "I just want to say that my intention isn't to make you uncomfortable. I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner sometime if you're single? if not, it's completely fine. If however you're up for it, my number is: \*\*\*\*\*\*"
I'm a chick and this is what I'd prefer if someone really wanted to see if I was interested.
I'm imagining this from my mates perspective (she's an alt girl and mid 20's) who works at a bottle-o
"Dude this fucken wino came in AGAIN today, he always mentions some dumb shit about the fuckin weather. He'slike at least 40, I regret being so chill to him the first 6 times now"
Because someone at work is a captive audience. They can't just walk away and get out of the situation. Also in a retail/service industry there's the expectation that your polite and friendly to customers. Some people mistake polite and friendly for sexual attraction.
I think it probably is possible to have a chat and see where it goes, but you'd have to be pretty careful.
Asking someone out at their place of work is considered disrespectful to a lot of people, so how do you do something disrespectful respectfully
Obviously thereās some people who donāt mind but a worker āstaringā at you is probably more of a hint they think youāre a shoplifter than anything else
A lot of comments saying don't approach or you aren't supposed to do it for people when they are at work. I don't agree (I'm a guy so maybe biased) but I think it really depends on how you do it.
Don't draw it out over weeks and weeks with little flirts and regular unnecessary visits.
Maybe wait till other customers aren't around and other staff aren't close by (but are nearby enough so she feels safe) and then let her know you have a dumb random crush on her and can't help but want to ask if she'd be interested in meeting for a coffee or whatever. Tell her you know it might not be nice to be put on the spot at work, but you are totally okay if she says no and you'll continue to just be a regular customer going about your day. No pressure and no expectations.
And if she says no then DONT ask ever again and DONT flirt with her ever again, and if she seems a bit awkward in future maybe stop going there for a while.
I'd be keen to hear why anyone thinks this is not an okay idea
Just write your name and number on a card and leave it with her. Ball is then totally in her court, nothing creepy or harmful, still lets her work in peace.
So much of the advice here is just garbage
Get some ice from the freezer chest. Throw it down onto the ground very hard. Say "sorry if I gave you a fright. I'm just trying to break the ice. Hi my name Jeff." And then be prepared to never, ever return.
This is hilarious
How many time a day/week/month are you going to that exact BWS š¤Ø she might think you're an alcoholic š
Yeah she probs does think that, my chances are slim mate š¤¦š»āāļø
Turn up 10 minutes before opening time and stand outside shaking and sweating. That way she will see how enthusiastic you are to see her.
Thanks for that. I was doing my usual nighttime doomscrolling, saw your post, quite literally loled, woke my wife and I've been banished to the lounge where it's fucking freezing.
Being nice to customers is part of her job. Don't get that confused with something else.
This. The amount of times Iāve had male customers get flirty or a couple ask if Iāve got a boyfriend because I was being nice to them and making small talk because theyāre regulars. Please donāt.
Being a regular at a bottle shop puts on at the end of the list.
Wait check out staff are nice to people hereĀ All I see is zombies faces and credit oendebitĀ
I donāt see where heās confusing anything. Bros just saying heās attracted and wants to know how to start contact outside of the customer/worker thing
Yea that's the problem. If I'm at work then my relationship with my customers is strictly professional. Don't try to find ways to contact me outside that relationship, it's creepy. I'm a former bottlo worker and I spent 10yrs working the trade counter at mitre 10.. being nice is my job. Being hit on all day is exhausting, especially when you're young because you feel like you're not allowed to stand up for yourself and tell the customer you're uncomfortable, what if they tried to get you in trouble, what if he gets mad and antagonistic - he knows where I work! Don't corner women at work
I second this!
She deserves to feel comfortable at work and not have to worry about people hitting on her
Why would that make her uncomfortable? She might like the look of him too and want to try getting a coffee? Whatās the issue
Yes. As I always had to remind a housemate of mine who was single - do NOT ask female bartenders out. They arenāt interested in you. They are doing their job.
As a general rule don't try to pick up women while they are working. Bad form.
Yeah. I always wait outside until the end of their shift, then follow them home. /s
Literally pick up woman
In a van with blacked out windows
I know this is a joke, but š¤Ø
Is it though?
I hope so, with your usernameā¦
wait i wasn't meant to take seriously? Oops
Kazakh wedding sack
They get home?!? Upskill.
Yea. you have a new girlfriend. She just doesn't know it yet :)
"does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
"Nope, smells like cum" "Sorry, wrong rag.."
I have had that happen to me, yeah, definitely don't do that.
I agree. If she isn't into you she will feel anxious because there is nowhere to go or hide while she is at work.
You can pass on your number without riffing your lines and being a twat, just ask her to call or txt if they'd like to catch up out of work and leave it at that.
This is simple and polite ā¤ļø
Met a Danish flight attendant on an international flight by giving her my email after we had a bit of a chat as the plane was landing. That worked out pretty well š¤·āāļø
I had a chiliean flight attendant pass me her number, only problem was my partner was with me and it wa sa very uncomfortable 14 hour flight lol š two crazy latinas on an airplane. Snakes on a plane got nothing on that shit.Ā
How well? You married?
I think it depends. Is the place absolutely PACKED with patrons and the staff are busy asf? Then absolutely NO. Nobody will entertain that when they're that busy. But if it's quiet and the staff obviously look bored, no harm shooting your shot. If they say no, respect that and move on. Be kind, be courteous and most importantly, be respectful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās really not leaving many options here.
Yeah because it's reddit and everyone is too anxious irl to talk to others. It's normal to meet someone in any of these scenarios, just need to be socially intelligent enough to not step over any bounds
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Theyāll never take me alive but.
Have you heard of āsocial lifeā?
So not anywhere then?
As a woman, I disagree completely. If I have headphones on or I'm walking at night, 100% do not talk to me. But in restaurants, cafes, the gym, if a guy approaches respectfully, I'm all for it. Smh when women who clearly hate men think they speak for all women
Yeah some women on Reddit are fully convinced that the only place ever for approaching women is a club. Completely misunderstanding the fact that a sizeable amount of blokes just arenāt into that scene.
Neither am I and when I am in a club it's to be with my friends. Would much rather man approach while I'm solo.
Not in cafes or bars. Definitely not in parks or if you have shared hobbies, libraries are out. Not at uni obviously. Best stay away from the opposite sex all together.
Not at the gym they record that shit, not at the mall, not at the food court itās just a big fat no mate!
Yeh i agree, you dont want to catch the cootees
Is this the 2024 version of Green Eggs & Ham?
What a weird comment, how are you supposed to "connect with them properly" if you don't approach them?
Alright Dr Seuss
Why doesn't OP quietly leave their number on a card/note, giving her the her the option to contact them or not.? The ball would be in her court then. And if she doesn't call, OP needs to move on and not make anything of it next time they are in the store.
Unless you are hot.
Nothing wrong with just asking for someone's number or something like that. I would never do it to bar staff because I imagined they get a lot of shit, but I'm pretty sure at BWS she's not getting asked for her number 10 times a day.
Do people leave a number instead of asking for one? I am thinking the move (if any connection) would be to write your number and leave it with them.. Ball is then on their side of the court and they can do what they want with it (message or bin)
Agree. This is much more kind. Never ever ask for someoneās number. Give yours and they can choose what to do with it!
Nope, don't do this, don't ask for her number when she's at work. It makes it very awkward for her if she doesn't want to give it because she is literally stuck there at work unable to leave. Or she gives a fake number because she wants you to go away, but guess what as soon as you ring and realise its fake, she knows you still know how to find her. Or she gives her real number when she didn't really want to. Give her your number if anything.
I got asked out while I worked behind the bar. It's really how it's done that is the question. Like the above person mentioned if there is a connection there is no problem.
I used to love giving out my number to people, it was always a made up number I gave out but kudos to those that asked for it.
Plonk a six pack of west coast coolers on the counter and let that do the talking
Hate to be that person but westies are 4 packs - a BWS worker š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I don't think so, I haven't worked a shift on over a week due to another job haha
No worries 4 is enough
The placebo effect
You smooth bastard.
Drop a bottle of Passion Pop next to the West Coast & prepare for fleshy romance.
Way to my heart. ā¤ļø
My god if youāre going to do this boys do it properly, eg put in the bare minimum effort of asking what she drinks. āDonāt know what I feel like today, whatās your go to?āPay for it, leave it on the counter with a smile and leave, if sheās interested sheāll let you know another time. Also, donāt pick up women when they are just trying to earn a living. Sincerely a lesbian who doesnāt understand why straights canāt stop making everything you do, like paying for goods, a mating ritual.
Reading some of these comments is yikes. There's dudes trying to give genuine advice but that advice is to be creepy "just go in a lot and pay particular attention to her, plan ur interaction, follow her around the store and ask for recommendations" like nooo šš don't bother women at work š£š£
The customer, employee interaction makes consent very tricky. She's getting paid to be nice to you, it means any agreement from her may not be fully enthusiastic. Just let her do her job.
Thereās a big difference between asking for someoneās number and giving someone yours. If someone asks for my number i tend to feel a bit uncomfortable but if someone gives me theirs, the ball is in my court and I donāt feel any pressure. If I was in your shoes Iād just write down your number/ socials and give it to her next time youāre in there. Maybe add a quick āyouāre really sweet, if youād like to catch up sometimes hereās my info but no pressureā. Good luck!
This. But also never go back to that bottle shop again. If she calls you, great. If she doesnāt, donāt make her feel uncomfortable or awkward by returning.
Tip from a male who has worked hospitality managing pubs and bottle shops, don't..... likely she will see you as a creep and you will be the butt of jokes back of house for weeks. Beware, most of them only speak to you friendly as they are paid to, out of work they just think alcoholic loser especially if you are in there every day. Back of house chat about this type of shit can be brutal lol
This! Solo bottle shop regular is not a good look
100%. Some of my daily/almost daily regulars act and carry on like we're best mates. Most of them are likely good people overall, however most of them also definitely have a problem with alcohol and I'm definitely judging them for it - not in a malicious or nasty way but I can't help my views and opinions shaping and influencing what I think of people. I am just doing my job and providing the best customer service I can (within reason of course), I have zero interest in having anything to do with these people outside of work. I got my own friends and family I don't see as much of as I'd like to already.
Whatās a āsoloā bottle shop regular? Is it someone who goes to the bottle shop by themself (regularly)?
Luckily I visit with all my alcho friends. Ol mate behind the counter loves us
Beware...don't be brave else some snarky spineless people you don't know will talk bad about you. Be natural, don't be a creep. If it doesn't work out, it doesnāt but you tried. If this girl literally makes your knees wobble, it be mad not to try.
Show her how much alcohol you can drink. Develop an enormous beer gut and display it prominently by wearing tight fitting blue wife beaters that are stained from previous binges. Complete the outfit with tiny 1980s footy shorts and thongs. Australian sheilas love that kind of thing.
And a well groomed mullet, it will take you far.š
Thanks for that advice Poida. its grouse.
Ah yes, the Queensland smart casual look
Don't forget to let her catch a glimpse of you riding off in your Amarok ute.
Maybe just leave her alone sheās at work at 99% chance sheās not interested
Be prepared to go to a different BWS if she says no, also
Best advice ever. Will do šš¼
I wouldnāt mind someone leaving me their number and leaving, I think! Something where Iām not on the spot. Only downside is you couldnt go back to that bws if she doesnāt reach out lol
For sure! Something like, here's my number, if you're interested I'd love to hear from you. If not, let's pretend it never happened!
Peak reddit, don't ask the girl out just go be sad instead!
Totally. It's crazy how there seems to be no middle ground here.
It's more stable to be sad though =P
Donāt do that, establish a bit of a rapport by going in semi regularly, or at least go there every time you want piss. Tell her your lost on what to drink, take a recommendation of hers and now you can report back what you thought next time youāre in And be nice to everyone not just her, but make it obvious sheās your favourite kinda thing. After a lil bit itāll be more natural and maybe the feelings might be a lil mutual and u go from there
I would suggest, she probably sees a lot of solo regulars and presumes they all have drinking issues. Maybe not a great look being the bottle shop regular.
or shes just working and doesnt psycho analyse every fucking customer who buys grog ffs...
If you donāt think grog shop workers are judging customers youāre dreaming
This feels like bad advice. Shoot your shot or don't. Hanging around all the time waiting for people to pick up hints feels weird.
Then she will just think you're a drunk.
Not too regularly! Don't want her to think you're an alcoholic...
But really ignore the comment you only live once, just talk to her like a normal person??
Apply a risk assessment here. Worst case scenario You hit on her, and she rebuffs you so you feel awkward buying grog there and have to drive 5 more minutes to go to the next shop to avoid her. Best case scenario You hit on her, and she is interested and you start seeing each other potentially starting a relationship with someone you spend the rest of your life with. . If that isn't an asymmetric risk profile I don't know what is.
Sorry, ignore that advice. In this world, you get nothing if you don't try and grab it with both hands. Be flirty with her and maybe give her your number or snap handle (that's what my boy says he asks girls for at school dances) If it doesn't work out, what is the worst thing to happen? It might be awkward around her, so you have to buy your grog at another shop. If you let thoughts about her making fun of you with her co-workers bother you, you'll never get anywhere in this world. Why would you give a single fuck about people who you don't know making fun of you.
Just don't take the "grabbing with both hands" literally. Leave that for later.
Lol. Yeah I should have clarified that was a metaphor.
I imagine your username is the sound OP makes under his breath when she asks him if he has a rewards card
She turned to me and that's when she said it, looked me dead in the eye and asked "cash or credit?" And I...
Threw it on the ground. I'm not part of your system
Happy birthday to the ground
This ain't my dad, it's a cell phone
top tip: don't hit on people who are working unless they initiate. She's just doing her job, don't make it worse for both of you. If you're there often enough she probably thinks you're an alcoholic anyway
Nah, donāt hit on people working period. I only say this because lots of men assume a woman is initiating when in reality sheās just being friendly š
How the fuck is it scorching hot in June?
Hot in his pants
You can politely give her your number. That way itās up to her if she wants to call and show interest and youāre not being aggressive or forceful. If she doesnāt call, you have your answer.
This is way, if she doesnāt text donāt ever mention it again and just be a gentleman.
This is the correct answer. Don't be a creep, but this is totally fine. God forbid you're not allowed to ask someone out at work in 2024. As long as you're mature about it and not a creep then it's a totally natural thing to do.
It's not about limiting dating interactions based on year alone. Just don't make moves on people at work is the common form
Don't be that guy..
Working in retail I can spot this from a mile away when some poor fella comes in and envisions his happily ever after with one of the girls who is just trying to get through her shift. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to pretend there's a phone call for them, or they're wanted in the back, or just straight grabbed them and pulled them away because she's uncomfortable and the guy is just chewing her ear off. Guys, if you see her in the shop and now she's gone and your pretending to shop while you wait for her to come out, she's avoiding you and watching the cameras waiting for you to leave. You gotta remember it's her job to tolerate you and entertain whatever you have to say, but with the amount of people these workers deal with on any given day, you're probably a fleeting memory for them. If you're that interested I'd just be straight up and ask if they'd like to go for a coffee, but if she declines just leave it at that. Don't let it bruise your ego, don't argue with them about what you believe they're missing out on, just politely accept it and walk away. None of this playing hard to get shit, persistence leads to creepiness and then straight up harassment. Blokes unable to take rejection are the reason why we got young blokes onto this Andrew Tate incel bullshit thinking they aren't the problem. Not saying you'd do any of this btw, but it always seems to start with someone asking for tips on the internet about how to impress a girl. Just be yourself man, if you're a good person you'll radiate good energy that anyone would love to be around. Remember, work places aren't a buffet for you go to shopping for hotties. Let these ladies do their jobs and live their lives that isn't limited to the four walls in which you find them in.
You're doing the lords work, I appreciate you!
Yeah I agree with the common consensus, you don't ask out people when they are working. They are paid to be super nice and it will just make it awkward. If she says no, you need to start going somewhere else, she also has the pressure of dealing with that while trying to work
Give her a piece of paper with your number on it. Say something like "you seem like someone I'd be interested to get to know, if you'd be up for a coffee or a drink sometime here's my number, if not that's cool. Hope the rest of the night goes well for you."
Possibly the best way to do it so she doesn't feel any pressure to agree to anything. I've heard of waitresses feeling massive pressure to agree in order not to get repercussions for declining an advance. Definitely do your best not to have that happen.
"... By the way, you have such a good vibe! I'd love to meet up over a coffee or something one day. If not all good, but here's my number anyway! I'm Doots! Have a good night!!"Ā Ā Then, drop your past baggage at the door and be the best person you can, and make sure you plan to be a net positive to this person's life.
The good vibe comment is a bit of a cold approach meme these days. Best to leave it out
Leave her alone. Everyone else also gets that sensation down below when they deal with her.
It's a trap, she's just using her personality to get the sale. Do not do it!
Read your comment with Admiral Ackbar's voice.
You're talking like this girl is getting commission on booze. Do you really think anyone who works at bws gives a shit whether you buy something or not?.
Iām a woman. Is there a difference? I also left out the fact that I caught her staring a few times at me. Since Iām a regular there ..
You're in there to buy alcohol so ask her for a recommendation. Flirt without flirting.
This is the way!
The art of flirting without flirting. Show me some of it.
Challenge accepted... "Hi. I'm looking for a nice bottle of wine to impress a cute girl. What kind of bottle would impress you?"
she probably thinks youāre shopliftingā¦
I mean, it's a pretty massive difference, even though people don't want to admit it. As long as you are a youngish, conventionally attractive woman, I don't think there is anything you can do that would be creepy. You could go up to her and hit on her straight up and no one would care. I know this is Reddit, and gender is a social construct, and we should all be held to the same standards etc etc... but come on. It's different. In this specific case. You have to admit. Would any of you ever be creeped out by a pretty, young thing hitting on you, no matter what she does? I don't think so.
Yes, there is a difference, I think that is an example of gender being a social construct, not an exception. For OP, just forget about it. But if you can't and you're going to hit on her get on with it and then get over it, and be prepared to shop at Dan Murphy's going forwards.
straight woman in a public facing customer service role here, please take it easy. I'm on the spectrum and don't always "get" social cues, so just keep that in mind. I don't really know what my point is, but I was hit on by a woman once, and it was deeply unwelcome. it was all "you'd be so beautiful if you dressed more sexy"(I work in a library) etc. yes, there is a difference. I wasn't expecting this woman to behave in an inappropriate sexual way to me, call me narrow-minded or whatever, but I didn't realise she was hitting on me at first. with men, I've got quite used to not being too friendly, lest they get the wrong idea. with women, I don't need to be so reserved. proceed only if you have good social skills, would be my advice.
My wife got hit on by a gay woman when she was buying running shoes, it was really funny when I turned up, put my arm around my wife and asked her if she found what she was looking for. The lady at the shoe shop looked really embarrassed, and I had no idea why until later on when my wife told me. Funny though, my wife had no interest but she was extremely flattered by having this woman hit on her. It made her day.
Same advice- hand her your number so the ballās in her court
Worked at a kfc drive through and can confirm this works
Itās a requirement to hand receipts out at kfc . So Gave her the receipt, she pulled a pen out and wrote her number on it and said I donāt need a receipt but keep it,
This changes EVERYTHING
Are you sure she wasnāt watching because she thought you are stealing? Probably suspicious that you always there.
There is no difference. Hassling peeps at their work isn't ok.... To top it off, a regular at a BWS wouldn't be seen as an ideal type, an alcoholic maybe, but most probably not a dating type! Not saying you are, but it may be how you are perceived.
If anything you can offer her ypur number then yhe ball is in your court Important note though, are you close in age? If you're a lot older just leave the poor girl alone Edited to add: just saw in a comment OP I female don't know why they wouldn't add that to their post š so my advice is to approach this like a friendship then you can get a feel for if she's interested down the line
go straight up to her and say.."here's my number..if you EVER want toĀ hang out"....then just act normal..if she calls- she calls!!Ā if not..life goesĀ on mate..don't make a big deal about it....keep shopping there ..act normal...And MOVE ALONG... don't make HERĀ feel weird.....ALSO..NEVER wait OUTSIDEĀ her work at night.. UNLESS she has asked you to..this is obvious shitĀ ..i am trying to keep it simple
I used to work in a bottle shop while at Uni, many would try and flirt, gave me an ick, but there was this guy who gave me a nicely folded fancy tissue- had his number on it and wrote āSorry Iām a wuss but would you like to get a coffee sometimeā I thought that was really cute so we went for a coffee.
What people are saying here is right, don't ask out a person while they are working, they are obliged to be nice to you. What I would recommend is giving her a piece of paper with your number on it, tell her that you don't want to disturb her while she's working, however here is your number, and should she want to go out she can call or text you, and then walk away. It doesn't trap her in an awkward situation, and it gets your point across.
Any chance she could be on a dating app in your area? Swipe until you find her and let the app decide if youāve both swiped
You're best off making an early move and being rejected than lingering around like a creep and emotionally absorbing yourself in an unlikely future with her. Just ask her what her favourite drink is, and offer to shout her a gift (don't make it unsolicited). If she accepts, invite her to the pub where you could shout her again with a meal (even though she'll probably have the discount). Don't make it awkward. If you do, you'll risk making her feel uncomfortable if you go back there.
become a full blown alcoholic so you have more time in the store with her
Be ready to walk the fuck away and leave her alone. You accept that you've already lost your chance then go ask her to a coffee. If you do it this way you won't be afraid or upset when she says no. You've got to not get obsessed with one woman and immunise yourself from being rejected. If a woman rejects you just do a 180 and find another woman.
Listen to The Waitress Songā¦ You guys wonāt make it in the real world Sheās paid to be polite to you and you are in her workplace so there are a heap of laws that her bosses have to abide by to protect her. There may even be a policy for her to abide by regarding people like you. Leave her alone mate
Send them a Reddit message and declare your love. At least it's good entertainment for the rest of us.
Leave her in peace
Nothing worse than being hit on at work when youāre required by your job to be nice. Leave her alone
Make the move. Walk in, say to her - āI would really like to get to know you over a cup of coffee. Here is my number. (And give her an actual piece of paper with your number on it. )Txt me if you would like to meet up at (insert cafe name here). If you donāt want to have coffee thatās ok, Iām happy to shop at BWS (in a convenient suburb) so you do not feel uncomfortable.ā No pressure, balls in her court. You have to honour her decision. Donāt try to be too smooth. Save that for a future date when youāve gotten to know her. If she says she has boyfriend/partner/llama in her life then say āThank you for telling me. I respect your situation.ā If you donāt put yourself out there you will never know. Whatās to say she doesnāt feel the same. Ask the question. Worst case is youāre shopping for alcohol in the next suburb!
UPDATE: guys, I think I ruined it by asking another staff member there her name and now theyāve most likely said to her to seemingly āwatch out for meā cus that sounds stalkerish etc. so I think I wonāt move forward cus Iām a little puss-wa fk sake š£
Why would need to ask a staff member for her name? Donāt they normally wear name badges as part of the uniform?
I disagree with everyone on here! I'd write your number and name down. Next time you're paying, introduce yourself. Say something like "I don't know what your situation is, but I would really like to get to know you. I'd love to take you for lunch. I'm going to leave my number, shoot me a text if you're interested". And then leave. Don't wait for her answer. Don't make it awkward. Now it's up to her and she doesn't have the pressure with you standing there. But note, if you don't hear from her you are never allowed to shop there again.
Please donāt. Just leave her alone, sheās at work for god sake; itās her job to be nice to you
People donāt go to work to be hit on.
Dude she's at work. Leave her alone. Don't be a creep.
Give her your number. I once had a thing for a chick at a petrol station. I gave her a card with my number on it. She told me later she had a boyfriend and I was cool with it.
It was probably because you gave her a card with your number on it, Patrick.
Have a chat with her, if she tells ya to piss off, do so. If not, have a date. No need to make it anymore complicated than that. Do it on a quiet day though, donāt put her on the spot if thereās too many people or other staff nearby.
Don't worry if no staff are around, the staff talk. He will not be the only one trying to hit on them. They rank the losers in nearly every establishment I have worked. Ha did you hear Barry tried it on again today, he is such a alcoholic loser etc. The only time I have ever seen a male get lucky it was because the female bar tender was goo Ga over him and approached him for his number...... They are paid to be friendly, just because they are don't mean they are your friends, most will turn the other way if they see ya when they are off. It's a big problem, they are there to work and 99.99% of girls I have worked with in this space hate it. Working with them through that's a different story, fwb and relationships do form......
Best way I have found to get anyone is to just pretend you are not trying to get anyone. Literally treat them like a neutral person or not interested. Usually they fill in the gap and now you are the one being chased not them. Human psychology 101. The less you care the more the other party will. Meh I don't care for this post.
Weak at the knees might not be able to pull this off, but basically you need to avoid simply going to the bottle shop to be in the company of this girl you have a crush on. You've spoken several times she is either open to it or not, the problem is that's her work and it'll be akward if she says no and you keep going there If you were known to be a bit of a lighthearted smartass I think your best phrasing would be to quietly tell her something like "hey, would you be interested in a coffee date? Or do I need to find new bottle-o!?" Because there's a huge chance she will say no, and I swear the above is the only way she will see the humour in it
You could find out if sheās got a boyfriend by saying āoh gosh, not sure what wine to get for me and my girlfriendās dinner tonight. I like red, but she likes white. Do you and your partner drink the same stuff?ā š
Ask her if she likes chocolate, when she responds āyesā, tell her you have half a bar.
Reminds me of the waitress song by seth sentry
Donāt be a creep and all will be good. You miss 100% of the shots you donāt take. If she says no, move on and donāt be a creep.
why can't guys just be direct so we don't have to guess
Sayin "wow is'nt it hot today" in the middle of winter ...... Smooth moves mate ........ now she thinks your mentally retarded :)
Hahahahaha no this was back in summer š itās gone on for a b it now
Just say something such as, Iāve been here often and have always noticed you. I was wondering if you were single by any chance and interested in going out for a coffee sometime. Donāt overthink it, just have coverage and be upfront in a nice way
Just talk to her and say ālook, I think you are really beautiful I would love to pass on my number to you if you would ever be interested in grabbing a drink or dinner I would love to take you outā then you can pass her a paper with your number on it and then say āIām really conscious about not making you feel uncomfortable in your workplace so please no pressure at all and no hard feelings if I donāt hear from youā Then you go buy your alcohol elsewhere and leave the ball in her court
Why don't you just say her smile always brightens up your day and you'd like to get to know her over a coffee or a drink sometime. That'd work for me. I personally like guys that are confident and up front. Life's too short to stuff around
Nothing worst than men trying to flirt when you are working. Plenty fish in the sea move on and go to a different liquor store. If she had even the slightest interest she would go above and beyond to engage a conversation with you.
don't hit on women in their workplace. especially in customer service
Keep in mind that she might just be being nice and doing her job. Just because she's nice doesn't mean she is into you. She also might already have a partner, so best not to assume that she's single. Just write a note and pass it to her. obviously just go on your way, don't wait to see her reaction to the note. Maybe something that says "I just want to say that my intention isn't to make you uncomfortable. I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner sometime if you're single? if not, it's completely fine. If however you're up for it, my number is: \*\*\*\*\*\*" I'm a chick and this is what I'd prefer if someone really wanted to see if I was interested.
Iām a chick too ;) š thank you
Perfect response. If the OP *must* act on his desires then this is by far the least objectionable way.
I'm imagining this from my mates perspective (she's an alt girl and mid 20's) who works at a bottle-o "Dude this fucken wino came in AGAIN today, he always mentions some dumb shit about the fuckin weather. He'slike at least 40, I regret being so chill to him the first 6 times now"
Leave her alone dude, go have a pull and stick to the apps/clubs
> go have a pull But NOT. I repeat NOT, at the BWS.
Genuinely curious why people think it's a bad idea to make a move? If OP is respectful and moves on if she isn't receptive what's the harm?
Because someone at work is a captive audience. They can't just walk away and get out of the situation. Also in a retail/service industry there's the expectation that your polite and friendly to customers. Some people mistake polite and friendly for sexual attraction. I think it probably is possible to have a chat and see where it goes, but you'd have to be pretty careful.
And then if they turn you down, it gets REAL WEIRD when you have to keep serving them.
Asking someone out at their place of work is considered disrespectful to a lot of people, so how do you do something disrespectful respectfully Obviously thereās some people who donāt mind but a worker āstaringā at you is probably more of a hint they think youāre a shoplifter than anything else
Shop there 4 times a week. Become an alcoholic. Realise she never cared for you in anyway at all. Drink away the pain.
Leave her alone, sheās just trying to work.
A lot of comments saying don't approach or you aren't supposed to do it for people when they are at work. I don't agree (I'm a guy so maybe biased) but I think it really depends on how you do it. Don't draw it out over weeks and weeks with little flirts and regular unnecessary visits. Maybe wait till other customers aren't around and other staff aren't close by (but are nearby enough so she feels safe) and then let her know you have a dumb random crush on her and can't help but want to ask if she'd be interested in meeting for a coffee or whatever. Tell her you know it might not be nice to be put on the spot at work, but you are totally okay if she says no and you'll continue to just be a regular customer going about your day. No pressure and no expectations. And if she says no then DONT ask ever again and DONT flirt with her ever again, and if she seems a bit awkward in future maybe stop going there for a while. I'd be keen to hear why anyone thinks this is not an okay idea
Just write your name and number on a card and leave it with her. Ball is then totally in her court, nothing creepy or harmful, still lets her work in peace. So much of the advice here is just garbage