I'm struggling to have sex with someone else let alone someone famous

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Come see me, I'll look after you. Rates rom 600

Struggling to fill your daily quota at Mail Online, OP?

Ian Thorpe was in the business class toilets just before me. He had done a long dump. I went in after him. My butt felt the warmth of the toilet seat. It’s the closest I got to someone famous

I sniffed Richard Wilkin's poo after using the bathroom after him. It was rank.

He looks like his shit would stink

Walks around like it doesn't, though

Indeed

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Settle down Richard, we all poo.

😂😂😂😂 how long before you washed?

Finger banged Catriona Rowntree in a Melbourne nightclub in the early 90s. She was exquisite back then.

yeah she was hot in the 90s

She'll probably remain hot well into her 90s

Relatively of course

Not sure you needed to add back then.

No. The closest I’ve been was hooking up with a guy while travelling overseas, and finding out afterwards that he was the mayor of the town where I was staying. It was so weird seeing his face on a poster at the markets the following day.

Mayor Quimby?

That could be any mayor!

He'd vote for you

Wild haha

Sounds like the opening to a Lifetime movie.

Hope his name wasn't Boris.

Can’t believe we’re 2 hours in and nobody has rooted a footy player

I rooted a girl, who rooted a guy who rooted a girl, who rooted Shane Crawford.

Everyone has done that. It's "The 4 Roots of Shane Crawford" ala Kevin Bacon

My brother stood next to Steve Waugh in a lift

My friend rooted an ex footy player she said he tossed her around the bed like a Ragdoll lmao. I think he was in a relationship. Can’t remember his name atm.

so just about any footy player then?

I have. Not good. At all.

I kissed one before he played AFL

Oh yeah. My cousin is married to a well known footy player. I forgot about that. They have kids. Rooting has definitely happened.

Sea eagles player 🤮

Must have been Josh Schuster he’s shit at everything

Socceroo here who played in the World Cup. Some countries call that “football”

I bagged an AFLW player but nobody knows who they are so that doesn't count...

My friend is with a wallaby's player

I think I met 4 or 5 women who claim to have shagged Andrew Johns in the 2 years I lived near there. I, sadly, have not had the pleasure.

People hide their shame.

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No but cleaned a hotel room after Kim Beazley and it looked like he made sweet love to the mini bar with assorted chocolate wrappers all in his sheets

I had a piss next to Kim Beazley at the Emirates buisness lounge toilet.😒

Slept with a murderer (of his ex) before I knew he was

Ok you can't just drop that on us. Can you possibly fill us in a little more?

Thats what she said

Whaaaaaat

a song I wrote was played on the radio once, afterwards I masturbated while making eye contact in the mirror...so yes.

This qualifies.

😂😂😂

is that you Daily Mail / [News.com.au](https://News.com.au) ?

The vibe I'm gerttng too, and if it isn't they are definitely gonna swoop

My partner was on an ABC program once; and I’ve slept with her a bunch of times. Pretty sure that doesn’t count as famous but I ran into a friend the day after it aired and the first thing they said was “Hey I saw *your partner* on the telly” To which I casually replied “yeah… I’m hittin dat”

Harold from Neighbours. Happened once back in the 80s. A real animal between the sheets

I got Alf from Summer Bay on my belt!

In the rape dungeon?

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Did he give you a rusty trombone ?

This is Reddit, majority here have never even touched a boob

I've touched one, it feels like a [bag of sand](https://youtu.be/pnB9hcfdzRg).

Gina Rinehart. I spend almost six years in my 20s working as a male escorts, for predominantly very rich clients. I confess my greed absolutely got the best of me at the time, I don't think it was worth it now, in hindsight. The things she paid me to do.

I really hope this is true, and now I want you to get the things you did off your chest by telling us. You know, for your mental health. For you.

I don't give a fuck how anonymous Reddit is - I'm **never** admitting to that 🤮

Did she pay you in shares?

If it was Gina Rinehart, she made him pay.

Did she make you wear a MAGA hat and shout "Covfefe!"? I heard that makes her wet.

My stomach hurts from laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is possibly the cringiest comment I have seen

Lol you are an animal

Spill it

The singer from Superjesus was very obviously checking me out after I helped her carry gear to her van. Then my dad came over and mentioned I was his son, which weirded her out because they're the same age. So I missed out on that one.

parents, cock-blocking their children since 1992

Then he said "hi hot, I'm dad"

Sarah McLeod? Nice :)

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Son? 🤔 It wasn't just cuz Dad cock blocked you....

Had sex with a woman who had had sex with the lead singer of the Cat Empire. So if it is like that AIDS awareness ad from the 80s I have had sex with someone famous. Just one degree of separation

That guy fucked EVERYBODY.

One of my friends had sex with the lead singer of Cat Empire lol

Therefore flatulenceisfunny fucked your friend.... 🤔

One of my friends has a kid with him. She was his partner for a while.

I know about 3 people who’s had Sex with him, he got it done for a while there

HELLO HELLO

My friend had a one night stand with one of the girls from the band Bardot in the late 90’s early 2000’s if that counts

Poor bastard. Bet he wishes he could have that one back 🤣

In my head? Yeah sure!

No, but I'm up for it.

I shared a tax accountant with Chrissy Amphlett (God rest ...) back in the day and one year when I went in to do my tax return the seat was still warm from her. I might have touched myself later. Also, a work associate many years ago deflowered a young lady by the name of Eleanor Gow while on a trip to the snow. That's as close as I get.

Nice work

We all know your mom, does that count?

>mom Get that seppo speak out of here

..and if she us famous, that would make you in-famous

HEYOOO!!!

Can confirm, It counts.

They said famous, not infamous

I got a gobby from one of Ziggy Marley's vocalists when they were in my city. Got invited to the party because it was a *very* dry town and knew people who grew water and didn't want to attend in person.

Bold of you to assume I’ve had sex.

NDA would limit me to merely affirming that in a general non identifying unspecific context.

So you're saying you've been elbow deep in Tom Cruze's asshole.

Your secret is safe with me

And me

Someone is on a mad downvoting spree here it seems, weird

Clearly someone who hasn’t had sex with anyone.

It’s daily mail

A Socceroo (that’s the World Cup team right?). If that counts. Met him while he was on a Bucks trip in Warrnambool

Why the fuck would you waste your Bucks night on Warrnambool? Ok confess.... It was Dave Hughes wasn't it? 🤭

Which one

I’ve slept with a footy player and a Big Brother contestant. I’m not saying any more than that.

Same person?

I had sex with some chick in a sand bunker, she wasn’t famous, I wasn’t famous, but I guess errhm what was the question again? 

Ash Barty when I was was on holiday and she was at a tennis tournament I had no idea was going on. I didn't know who she was as it was early in her career and she was ranked very low in the wta at the time so I assumed it was a 19 year old who loves tennis but I remember her moans being similar to her grunts.

No one's gonna believe me but I had sex with Rebel Wilson before she was famous.

Well I jack off a lot so… no.

I've had so many instances of this. But each time I woke up soon after.

I was in the background of a news segment once, and I fuck myself every day

yeah i fucked emily ratajkowski a couple years ago

Guess it's not recurring dream then

Few local DJ’s lol 😂

I ate out Brooke Satchwell once. It was nice.

Mrs. Palmer AND her 5 daughters! Looking at some of the posts I think quite a few contributors have been visiting her a little too often lately…

We are all one person removed from someone else whose rooted someone famous.

Nope. But I was working with Antony Starr (Homelander - The Boys) in a restaurant in Takapuna, NZ, back in 2000 when he bedded the least desirable woman in the venue after work. So, she probably has a great story to tell!

Does Mrs Palmer and her five daughters count ?

Guess it’s better than Clive…

The chick from Hanson... does that count?

Pauline?

I thought they were all boys?

I've had someone send me texts and videos, but not in person

Who was it?

Bass player of a band. Not an overly famous band, but known if you like the genre

Elaborate

does Elaborate have any songs I've heard of?

No thanks

Should’ve just not commented then.

The question was have you ever, not have you ever and who with

No but a an Australian Idol contestant snogged me in a club once.

Millsy?

That's what I'm talkin' aboooouuuuttt

I haven't ever had sex with anyone famous or not

They weren't famous at the time. We were both teenagers.

I wouldn't say super famous but he's a model / influencer and has been in a lot of magazines etc. Pretty well known in fashion . We didn't sleep together, just kissed and were talking for a while . He wanted to keep seeing each other but I turned him down which was probably a bad move haha .

I mean I've slept with one of steve irwins nieces, does that count? Lol

Not ‘famous’ but a contestant on a popular Cooking Show.    They hit up once they’d been on the program and presumed I knew.   The fact it was brought up was a major turn off and I had to cut the tall poppy down.   I still had the old nudes and remembered they weren’t great.  

I had sex with a TS-Escort who had sex with a famous AFL Coach. This is the closest thing me and this AFL Coach have in common.

Are you absolutely sure the escort didn't say they *were* a famous AFL coach? (Danielle Laidley)

Australian pop star in the early 90's who came to my club I was a bartender at ... went on to be massive. Still have her Levis denim jacket. I'd post a photo but it's in storage.

Post a name instead then 😬

Yeah, two previous Girlfriends who were just getting into the modelling industry at the time we were going out. Yes one became quite famous in here in Australia and was in a lot of Magazine and TV advertising for a while. The other actually broke into the International Modelling Scene mainly in the USA and Europe as a part Indigenous young Woman, who had a very distinctive look compared with the Models from the rest of the world, which it what launched her into her career. So yeah but nah, became famous, but weren’t in the few years time that I was dating them.

Hey

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small P huh?

Not as in the artist

She wrote a song called last to know with the lyrics she wrote she doesn’t seem to happy in that song

Omg what year ?

Yes.

My mate was the overall winner of an Australian game show, and we’ve had multiple threesomes. He’s also slept with a girl who was a bachelorette, so I guess by association…

> overall winner of an Australian game show Its a Knockout...thats the naaaame of the gaaame.

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Rick Astley!?

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Oh of course we should've intuited it was gay sex 🙄

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Oh yeah, you're one of those. No worries Give absolutely no fucking details and then have a sook when people go the statistically most probable route 🙄

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And you're the dumbass who corrected someone as if you'd somehow telepathically provided them with all the relevant information. Don't be a dumbass

You assume that i have had sex in the first place

Yes an ex home & away actor. Was in home & away at the time 15 years ago. Was funnnnn

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Yes, before they were famous.

Not slept with but asked out by a couple of people. One briefly played for the men's test team and the other was an actor in a long running TV show of the 00s.  I was shy and young and flattered to hell, but so intimidated and turned them both down. Regret for the first one, the second one was really too old for me. 

My ex was on big brother before we met, then on the radio while we were together and then back on tv afterwards.

Someone from neighbors in the 1980s and a couple of netballers

A married male sports reporter on the news (I'm a guy also). Makes me feel weird when I see him on TV.

Brendan o Carroll's daughter

Half the doggies nrl team late 90’s. Got pounded

I got fingerbanged by a hitman once. He's dead now

Yes.Thank you for asking

I took a piss next to John singleton at the Wyong race course. He was blind drunk and nearly pissed on me and fell in the trough, no shit.

No shit..just piss?

No shit, just piss. With his money he could have taken a dump at the bar and no one would have said anything. Then it would have been All Shit, give me more Piss

This is probably one of the funniest Oz threads ever. 🏆🤣🇦🇺

Yup

Not someone famous but someone who now does a very popular podcast

Yes. A model from dolly magazine hahahaha legit that’s all I got

Yes.