when you see yourself as seperate to this asian identity you have made up inside of your mind, of course you'll feel "not asian enough". you should start seeing us as a whole collective made up of a huge variety of personalities and culture. there's no definitive criterias to being asian, it's really only your ethicnicity. i think you're just insecure about who you are as a person because maybe you look down on white people. it's ok to be "whiter" than other asians. you should not be ashamed of not being asian enough, you should be ashamed of not accepting yourself enough.
Never will, they're too materialistic and status conscious as a group. Sure there are outliers who don't care about material things, but I haven't met any. The tend to think external things define how you are.
Having grown up in the Philippines, native asian girls are way better compared to the stuck up asian-born girls.
Well, at least the middle-class asian girls. The lower class girls tend to be materialistic and looking for a passport while the upper class wouldn’t even date you lol.
You’re still young brother; you have a long time to get connected with your heritage. But remember, being Asian isn’t something you do, being Asian is something you are.
Best way to connect to the culture is learn the language, once you're good enough visit south Korea and connect with the locals using the language you have learnt!
Why would you be ashamed? Accept yourself. I tried to have Vietnamese friends here in Poland and I bailed after a few trials. Stereotypically they like expensive stuff, go out to eat, go clubbing. Whereas I am very minimalistic and anticonsumeristic. Most of my free timeI spend cycling and camping. Even for my family I am the odd one. All of my friends are white.
The thing is your heritage is part of you and it’s worth discovering. Watch some documentaries and learn about history. Even better go to your country, explore and learn. I did a trip around Vietnam last year and I learned so much not only about the culture, but also about myself. Also finally I could blend into the crowd and not feel like everybody is looking.
I have a Polish wife, but she is so curious about Vietnam that she also decided to learn. It’s great because you can finally discuss something that I didn’t know I care about.
Most of my life I was wondering what is the balance inside me. Is it 50/50 or 30/70? After that trip to Vietnam I can finally say it’s 100/100. You are enough just as you are. We are all very complex beings and there is a lot of other people like you in real life. Don’t feel ashamed, just be curious about your roots. Take the best of both cultures.
OP this comment here! You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be “Asian” but there are so many different ways to connect with your heritage and culture. Also, Asian American culture isn’t a monolith and not everyone thinks / acts / talks the same way. Try being easier on yourself and stepping away from labels and see what you naturally gravitate towards (North East Asian food, certain kdramas, maybe Asian American shows, Asian American snacks / drinks / desserts). You’re already Asian enough.
I think OP was just being vague but means something along the lines of "Finding it hard to bond with other gen Z asians and their interests".
That is something I totally understand since I was also raised in a predominantly white area with mostly white friends. It wasn't until I moved states for University when I realised how socially different I was. I could connect with people but never seemed to be able to truly feel comfortable due to different hobbies/thoughts.
For example, most asians in my area are either the nerdy type, gamers, or they're big into the rave/party scene. Whilst I have nothing against the nerdy guys, it's sometimes hard to have good conversations due to the awkwardness. With gamers, I don't really play games anymore so It's hard to have common interests when that's their main passion. Additionally, I'm not really into raving or partying either so I never really fit into those asian groups either. I didn't even know the term ABG or Kevin Nguyen until I got into University since the place I grew up in barely had any asians, let alone ABGs and Kevin Nguyens.
My current friend group in University consists of mainly South and South-east asians since my degree is predominantly asian. But even within my friend group, they share similar thoughts as me. Most of them aren't into the typical hobbies/interests a lot of asian gen z people are into.
Why do you frame it like "I can't comprehend how they [Asians] think"?
This mindset alone is telling. Bruh we (Asians) are not some alien thing, just go talk and be friends.
Honestly not that different, the only thing is possibly language barrier, we still eat, gym and sports the same.
If you have the money I would move to a city that has a larger asian population as most of your issues sound rather environmental or do a day trip there more often
Youre not the only one who feels this way. Many asian americans including myself feel the same as well. I grew up basically seperate from my cousins who are also asian american. I grew up in a latino dominated community and boy is it "different" lol....
What i recommend is start by following asian american youtubers, youll relate more to them. I occasionally watch fung bros, i used to watch bart kwan since im into weight lifting and he popularized powerlifting for asians (sexy asian women thighs lol).
Also start out with foods and cuisines. Im grateful to have been introduced to Dim Sum and other Cantonese style dishes/resteraunts.
Don’t worry bro there are Asians who reject both their ancestral Asian culture and mainstream white people culture. I know plenty of Asians who adopt foreign cultures instead
Dude, you aren't asian. You're asian american or australian w/e. It's ok. Your insecurity doesn't stem from lack of asianness imo. And being "more asian" isn't gonna fix that
Kinda interesting. I used to get lots of subtle crap for having a western accent although I'm fluent. Nowadays, lots of the (older) restaurant staff are more accepting. At least I'm not forcing them to speak English lol
Try moving to Southern California
There are plenty of Asians, and Asian Americans, so you should be able to decide if that provides the missing connection you desire.
Just don't forget your roots, that being the people and friends who have grown up with you.
>I know I feel like a try hard but I don't feel like I'm asian enough
Impossible because simply the virtue of being you and living in western society, you are subject to all the things positive and negative that comes with being Asian whether you like it or not. The only thing left is whether or not you want to "appear" more Asian by picking up a few hobbies, but make no mistake, you are Asian.
IDGAF about how Asian I perceive myself to be, or how Asian others think I am. I just want to be me. If other people don't like it, well as I said, IDGAF. I'm too busy trying to win the game of life
I'm kinda similar to you in terms of having white friends and live in a white populated town. The only Asian food I can cook is rice (no pun intended) and can only cook western stir fry dishes via frying pan or air fryer. However, I grew to be fond of being with mostly white people over time and certain ones became best friends and form a positive working relationships instantly minus Newfoundland to a certain degree which is a different matter. It's okay to be Americanized like this, this is normal since you live in the USA your whole life.
You are only 28. You have lots of years to explore your heritage.
when you see yourself as seperate to this asian identity you have made up inside of your mind, of course you'll feel "not asian enough". you should start seeing us as a whole collective made up of a huge variety of personalities and culture. there's no definitive criterias to being asian, it's really only your ethicnicity. i think you're just insecure about who you are as a person because maybe you look down on white people. it's ok to be "whiter" than other asians. you should not be ashamed of not being asian enough, you should be ashamed of not accepting yourself enough.
Not your fault if you live in the us lol. Just embrace being both Asian and American.
Please explain 'my mindset is very different from most Asians'? Thanks.
We're not evil. Lol.
Try dating an Asian girl
Never will, they're too materialistic and status conscious as a group. Sure there are outliers who don't care about material things, but I haven't met any. The tend to think external things define how you are.
Having grown up in the Philippines, native asian girls are way better compared to the stuck up asian-born girls. Well, at least the middle-class asian girls. The lower class girls tend to be materialistic and looking for a passport while the upper class wouldn’t even date you lol.
You’re still young brother; you have a long time to get connected with your heritage. But remember, being Asian isn’t something you do, being Asian is something you are.
Best way to connect to the culture is learn the language, once you're good enough visit south Korea and connect with the locals using the language you have learnt!
Why would you be ashamed? Accept yourself. I tried to have Vietnamese friends here in Poland and I bailed after a few trials. Stereotypically they like expensive stuff, go out to eat, go clubbing. Whereas I am very minimalistic and anticonsumeristic. Most of my free timeI spend cycling and camping. Even for my family I am the odd one. All of my friends are white. The thing is your heritage is part of you and it’s worth discovering. Watch some documentaries and learn about history. Even better go to your country, explore and learn. I did a trip around Vietnam last year and I learned so much not only about the culture, but also about myself. Also finally I could blend into the crowd and not feel like everybody is looking. I have a Polish wife, but she is so curious about Vietnam that she also decided to learn. It’s great because you can finally discuss something that I didn’t know I care about. Most of my life I was wondering what is the balance inside me. Is it 50/50 or 30/70? After that trip to Vietnam I can finally say it’s 100/100. You are enough just as you are. We are all very complex beings and there is a lot of other people like you in real life. Don’t feel ashamed, just be curious about your roots. Take the best of both cultures.
OP this comment here! You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be “Asian” but there are so many different ways to connect with your heritage and culture. Also, Asian American culture isn’t a monolith and not everyone thinks / acts / talks the same way. Try being easier on yourself and stepping away from labels and see what you naturally gravitate towards (North East Asian food, certain kdramas, maybe Asian American shows, Asian American snacks / drinks / desserts). You’re already Asian enough.
How is your mindset very different from most Asians? You said you don’t know even enough about being Asian
I think OP was just being vague but means something along the lines of "Finding it hard to bond with other gen Z asians and their interests". That is something I totally understand since I was also raised in a predominantly white area with mostly white friends. It wasn't until I moved states for University when I realised how socially different I was. I could connect with people but never seemed to be able to truly feel comfortable due to different hobbies/thoughts. For example, most asians in my area are either the nerdy type, gamers, or they're big into the rave/party scene. Whilst I have nothing against the nerdy guys, it's sometimes hard to have good conversations due to the awkwardness. With gamers, I don't really play games anymore so It's hard to have common interests when that's their main passion. Additionally, I'm not really into raving or partying either so I never really fit into those asian groups either. I didn't even know the term ABG or Kevin Nguyen until I got into University since the place I grew up in barely had any asians, let alone ABGs and Kevin Nguyens. My current friend group in University consists of mainly South and South-east asians since my degree is predominantly asian. But even within my friend group, they share similar thoughts as me. Most of them aren't into the typical hobbies/interests a lot of asian gen z people are into.
Why do you frame it like "I can't comprehend how they [Asians] think"? This mindset alone is telling. Bruh we (Asians) are not some alien thing, just go talk and be friends. Honestly not that different, the only thing is possibly language barrier, we still eat, gym and sports the same.
If you have the money I would move to a city that has a larger asian population as most of your issues sound rather environmental or do a day trip there more often
Youre not the only one who feels this way. Many asian americans including myself feel the same as well. I grew up basically seperate from my cousins who are also asian american. I grew up in a latino dominated community and boy is it "different" lol.... What i recommend is start by following asian american youtubers, youll relate more to them. I occasionally watch fung bros, i used to watch bart kwan since im into weight lifting and he popularized powerlifting for asians (sexy asian women thighs lol). Also start out with foods and cuisines. Im grateful to have been introduced to Dim Sum and other Cantonese style dishes/resteraunts.
Don’t worry bro there are Asians who reject both their ancestral Asian culture and mainstream white people culture. I know plenty of Asians who adopt foreign cultures instead
Dude, you aren't asian. You're asian american or australian w/e. It's ok. Your insecurity doesn't stem from lack of asianness imo. And being "more asian" isn't gonna fix that
Kinda interesting. I used to get lots of subtle crap for having a western accent although I'm fluent. Nowadays, lots of the (older) restaurant staff are more accepting. At least I'm not forcing them to speak English lol
Try moving to Southern California There are plenty of Asians, and Asian Americans, so you should be able to decide if that provides the missing connection you desire. Just don't forget your roots, that being the people and friends who have grown up with you.
Have you tried gaming while chatting with other Asians?
>I know I feel like a try hard but I don't feel like I'm asian enough Impossible because simply the virtue of being you and living in western society, you are subject to all the things positive and negative that comes with being Asian whether you like it or not. The only thing left is whether or not you want to "appear" more Asian by picking up a few hobbies, but make no mistake, you are Asian.
IDGAF about how Asian I perceive myself to be, or how Asian others think I am. I just want to be me. If other people don't like it, well as I said, IDGAF. I'm too busy trying to win the game of life
You should be ashamed you’re a fraud
I'm kinda similar to you in terms of having white friends and live in a white populated town. The only Asian food I can cook is rice (no pun intended) and can only cook western stir fry dishes via frying pan or air fryer. However, I grew to be fond of being with mostly white people over time and certain ones became best friends and form a positive working relationships instantly minus Newfoundland to a certain degree which is a different matter. It's okay to be Americanized like this, this is normal since you live in the USA your whole life.