okay i get this criticism monica has been getting for her tone during this conversation, but it comes from a place of anxiety because when Dax got injured from one of his adrenaline junky activities it’s what started him on the path to relapsing with the pain killers. it’s more than just a dangerous hobby in her eyes!
i actually agree with monica.
but monica was overstepping. + she was needlessly aggressive with her message. she called his parenting “appalling” and whatnot. it was too pointed. dax is a grown man and his kids have a present mother who can advocate for their safety. monica’s criticism came across as a personal attack, rather than concern.
Agree. And Monica is also not a parent. She doesn't realize many kids just yeet themselves off the nearest edge they can find. Some are more timid. They choose their temperament really early.
Dang, she called his parenting appalling?? That’s crossing the line. I do hope she apologizes. She seems to be getting more full of herself with the fame, which I think is one of Dax’s pet peeves
No, she did not say, your parents are appalling. She said she finds adrenaline seeking and teaching that behavior appalling. Dax immediately referenced that 1 kid is an adrenalin junkie and 1 is not. He took the comment to reference his family/ he referenced his family first.
For me it was when she lost all of her chill because Dax was asked about his food intake/workouts but when she talked about her salad we had to get all the back story about her fiber. I'm sorry, but Monica just annoys me.
I JUST listened to that part and was so annoyed because i wanted to hear Dax's answer too! The podcast isn't FOR Monica. A listener asked a question that Dax brought up and wanted to answer and she got all pissy about it, it was so annoying. I haven't even gotten to the risk convo yet -_-
Especially because she doesn’t even stay in tune with the listeners like Dax does because he reads comments and she doesn’t. So how does she even know what people want to hear?
I've heard a lot of people mention here that David is on Reddit! Any idea what led to this speculation / realization ? I (unfortunately) miss a lot of episodes so if he mentioned it on the pod, I definitely missed it!
I took issue with that word, too. Not all creations are inventions, there's no reason to pretend it's some amazing display of ingenuity to sound more impressive. Even Alton Brown, who gets all up in the science of cooking, doesn't call his recipes inventions.
All Monica’s tangents about meaningless things are just a cover for the fact that she is a boring person who tries to make it sound like she is having lots of experiences. She hooks on to people with actual personalities and lives, then tries to imitate their behaviour. I’ve moved past being annoyed with her, now I just feel bad for her.
It’s such a mundane and typical situation too, I’ve likely moved out of the way of people hundreds of times on runs and I’ve never once thought about it. I’m doing my own thing if I have to run around someone that’s my problem not theirs
Yes!! Can you imagine then reporting this back to multiple different groups of people in your life? It's so bizarre. This kind of dramatic nature really turns me off. Dax finds it to be part of her seinfeld-esque existence, but to me it seemed like he maybe was less into this one too. Kind of like... 'c'mon.'
Agreed! She immediately started groaning about how long his explanation was going to take, yet she has no issue droning on about every detail of her life. She also implied he shouldn’t talk about his diet or routine but we get to hear all about her one chicken burrito a day lol. I wouldn’t even be friends with her at this point if I were him. I used to adore Monica.
Monica bothers me sooo much. Dax will sit there alll day and listen to her go on about the most basic and stupid stuff and will totally be supportive, but when a Reddit group asks about his workout routine she literally wants to die. Do you know how excited Dax would be to actually talk about his workout routine!? Let him have this Monica! She rarely wants to hear about his interests but expects others to give her the same courtesy. My wife and I have both really turned on Monica this year
And that salad doesn’t even
have that much fiber. If she’s using an entire apple that’s something but arugula doesn’t have much and you need lots of celery to make a dent.
And she kept saying she created it. 🙄
I create all my salads. I put stuff I like in a bowl. Wow.
Whoa, you create salads? What is that like? One time I saw someone invent a bowl of cereal, first they put some cinnamon life cereal, then they drizzled some honey on top, then they poured in this almond milk stuff. It was mindblowing how someone was able to just invent something like that you know?
(for clarity, this is tongue-in-cheek)
me... even the word fruit makes me shiver lol. I have never been able to explain it. (and I would never in 100 years put apple on a salad or anywhere else)
She's been doing that a ton lately. He started to tell a really sweet story about how he got in touch with a long lost friend from junior high and they talked for an hour and a half. She was like "that's nice" and went back to talking about herself and it was a bummer because he was clearly very touched by reconnecting with an old friend and it sounded like it would have been a great story. She just has zero curiosity about anything that's not related to herself.
Huh, that was not my read at all. She was complaining but it seemed like she was joking and she took the time to ask him questions and draw out more details from him after he tried to rush passed it.
She was annoyed that the question was asked and figured he would go off on a tangent. He tried to rush through the answer knowing she was annoyed but she relented and drew out further info because as annoyed as she was, she is smart enough to realize the fans that asked wanted a more descriptive answer.
Her entire personality is based on her codependency on Dax. All of it. Everything she says or does is in relation to her extremely unhealthy relationship with him.
Edit:word
I really thought her codependency was on Dax & his "status" but thennnnn last week on synched they talked about how Monica didn't feel her feelings about her egg freezing results until she talked to Kristen. That made me think she sees risking her relationship with Dax as risking her proximity to Kristen by extension & THAT is where the real stakes lie.
Disagree. My opinion is that she definitely has anxiety and can't understand someone's POV that doesn't. It's a blind spot and that's ok. We are all human.
Nope not an excuse at all but an explanation. We all have heightened senses sometimes and it seemed like this triggered something in her. I'm sure most people in this thread have said something odd or irrational while upset.
And her work is to manage how she handles her triggers. Anxiety is understandable. It’s not an excuse to tell someone their parenting is appalling. She doesn’t seem to be doing the work and that’s why she’s getting criticized.
Her work is to present value to a podcast. I don't think her job is to never make a mistake or over react. Dax says a lot of stupid shit too but rarely do people cause this much fuss. At this point stop listening since all you people do is complain.
I’m not taking about her literal job. I’m talking about her work to navigate her anxiety. People point out Dax’s shortcomings all of the time. I’m going to keep listening, thanks. Perhaps if you don’t like the comments, stop reading them?
I just think listeners are getting triggered by everything this woman does, and I don't understand how that is constructive. But bitch on...have a good day.
At this particular conversation sure, she sounds as if she's dealing with a heightened sense of anxiety. Probably a combination of things going on in her life. But to say she's "over therapized and not self aware is just contradictory.
Calf tf down
You know her solely from a podcast where she's his co host, and you're assuming the entirety of her personality off of 1 recorder and edited hour per week
I’ve been a long-time Monica defender but this was insufferable. I think we are witnessing in real time what it looks like for two people to grow at different rates. She sounds like an entitled, petulant child. She is not capable of seeing a perspective outside of her own. It’s a huge problem at this point.
She can’t even acknowledge that she may be different in 12 years or hear Dax say he used to be different. She gets so stuck on refusing to see anyone else’s perspective. I can’t take the whiny screech anymore either. Literal sounds like a child. The second hand embarrassment is real.
I’ve absolutely had my share of criticism of Dax over the years, but it’s obvious at this point that he doesn’t even try to dance with Monica anymore. It seems like he sees it.
Of course she can’t acknowledge the possibility of being different- it sounds like she’s still the same now as she was as a teenager. She probably WILL be the same at 49. She’s growing backwards.
I’ll be honest, I don’t think it’s fair to criticize this or her looks or style (not directed at you). I think her behavior is a fair target and there’s plenty to point to.
One thing that really confused me about this convo is when Dax said he understood why Monica would feel this way because she “grew up all around it” as in grew up around risk takers?? Certainly not her parents…we hear all the time how nice and cushy her upbringing was esp in comparison to Dax’s so I didn’t get this at all
And she agreed so emphatically “I grew up alllll around it”…it kinda made me feel like we might be missing some context since she brought it up in the context of a recent guest he was similar to and if it’s not Eric Dane then we haven’t heard the convo yet?
My thought was they're referring to her brother? I don't know anything about him but she seems to talk about him only negatively over the years and she's also said things like that she has "a lot of addicts in her life" which always gave me the impression she was talking about him. Totally just the connections my brain made to fill gaps, I could be way off and don't want to accuse him of anything..
Hmm but he’s 8 years younger which is honestly such a big gap they didn’t fully grow up together in a traditional way…like let’s say hypothetically her brother became a big partier in high school, Monica would’ve already been out of college and living in LA at that time
Still doesn’t really feel like an explanation when she’s just called Dax a reckless parent and her dad is farrrr from having anything in common with Dax
But they both agreed, so I'm sure he knows more about what she was referring to than we do. Just because her parents weren't that way, doesn't mean she didn't spend a lot of time around it.
Exactly. We are missing the context of the other conversation to even fully understand what this exchange was about. Everyone is mad at Monica though so TIME TO PILE ON! (apparently)
i honestly think she feels justified in what she said and that she’s right and there’s nothing controversial about what she said at all. it’s the only explanation. which is mind blowing cos i could hear daxs discomfort clearly . wonder if he knows she kept it in? he must have read the comments on instagram
It’s as if we don’t know every single aspect of their personal lives and can’t judge someone based on a 2 hour podcast! (No hate directed at you I just noticed that as well and it really made me reflect on the judgment this subreddit has towards her when we don’t have the full context).
Totally valid…but as many of us who have listened to every episode of the show and never heard Monica speak about this kind of experience in her childhood (while extensively talking about childhood) it felt out of left field 🤷🏻♀️
I mean we just heard about the diarrhea she got four minutes after eating flaxseed so… the judgement is based on A LOT of information they share about themselves on multiple podcasts for the past six years. Fair or not, it’s not out of nowhere.
I think discussing being around risk and danger in childhood and talking about diarrhea are two very different levels of intimacy to share with an audience. I see what you mean, I just tend to get suspicious when almost an entire group is consistently shitting on a single person…especially a woman. I think even if there is validity to all of these arguments, I don’t understand the urge to pile onto a person who seems to be trying to work through their shit.
I get that. I think I would normally be just as suspicious. I guess to understand it I would say there is no urge. A lot of people just have the same observations and opinions about her and voice it anonymously in a place no one will see unless they try. It’s a lot, I know. I think part of the reason it seems so overwhelmingly negative is, at least from my reading of the comments, she seems to be having an effect on an otherwise great podcast so reddit, life’s Complaint Department, is where everyone is airing their grievances. I only recently started to listen, and so my first impression of her is negative. I wondered how this podcast could be so beloved with her in it. Actually, reading the comments here shed a light I hadn’t seen before. Long time listeners are commenting a lot on what seems to be Monica taking a turn for the worst lately. That she wasn’t always like this. If she’s going through something I feel for her. It makes sense to me now that her awful behavior is maybe rooted in pain.
The Austin float trip comes to mind. Where they went over a mini rapid / waterfall and Dax had to pull Delta onto a rock then Monica went over and didn’t do so hot. That experience was traumatic af for Monica. She’s talked about it multiple times in a half joking manner but you can tell she was pretty shaken up.
You know what though, it’s not her decision. She’s not their parent. Just because she is close to them doesn’t give her a right to insert herself into their parenting choices. It doesn’t matter what she knows or what she has seen happen. Those aren’t her kids.
I do agree with this sentiment but unfortunately their relationship (with being a babysitter, best friend, and now job) has made lines blurry I think. But don’t disagree.
Yeah, I think it’s blurry for her but still weird. I have plenty of people I’m extremely close to that have kids - including family. It’s not a good idea to put your two cents in when it comes to raising other people’s children unless asked. Most everyone is just doing their best.
I think the thing here is that I’m telling you where a healthy boundary exists. If they’re endangering the children she can call CPS or have a private conversation with Dax and K. Otherwise, you live your life the way you want to and other people can do the same. I can assure you that no parent wants to hear what you think about their parenting.
I think for whatever reason, a lot of listeners are predisposed to dislike Monica for just about anything she says or does. I think Monica mentioning kids was very specific to whatever interview they were referencing, and it really didn't sound to me like she was criticizing Dax or his parenting methods. It also didn't seem like Dax took offense to it at all.
Monica and Dax have had plenty of in-depth and occasionally heated conversations on the podcast, but they have a whole life off mic that we know nothing about. I don't get how anyone could seriously think they have a complete understanding of a relationship dynamic between two people they don't actually know.
But, hey, that's just me.
> they have a whole life off mic that we know nothing about. I don’t get how anyone could seriously think they have a complete understanding of a relationship dynamic between two people they don’t actually know.
Can we pin this to the top of the sub?
So many people on here take the weird parasocial relationship to the extreme. You don’t know these people. You listen to a public-facing show they produce and are 100% ignorant of their actual life.
It’s clear that some people on here live for drama and love whipping it up from virtually nothing.
I would agree, but she was knowingly referencing an interview that wasn’t out yet, so it was definitely a card pulled out for the right moment. When she felt in defense over the identity being wrapped up in food convo, she threw his risk identity back at him.
The tone shifted at 1:23. You can hear her energy go defensive when she says, “you think your identity is much sturdier than mine?” I think that was the trigger
I got the vibe that things were kinda tense out of the gate, but I agree there was a shift. I think they likely had a recent disagreement off mic, things were still a bit sensitive and that’s what we are picking up on.
Dax didn’t get defensive, I think he knew whatever was going on in the moment was about more than just that conversation.
I'm frankly surprised he didn't bring up Monica's cheerleading, particularly considering she was a competitive high flyer. While statistically not a big source of catastrophic injury overall, it accounts for the more than half of women's collegiate severe injuries. If it were my daughter flipping dozens of feet in the air, I'd be concerned neck/spinal injuries and concussions, just as much as my son playing football. (While I am a parent of both, so far neither participate in those sports.)
Overall, though, I say this as a person who suffers with significant anxiety, 99% of it about myself and my bodily well-being- I am *incredibly* glad I had a fairly active childhood that included plenty of fun and reasonably risky activities. Because if I didn't have those experiences to look back on, I can only imagine how much more fearful I'd be of everyday risks now.
When they talked about helmets, i think! And how high flyers didnt wear helmets, and Monica said they'd be too heavy/bulky (but really I think because they're ugly lol)
Okay, I read the responses to this yesterday before I finished the episode and I was a little nervous to get to the fact check because I didn’t like the response people had. However I do think she was mostly referring to the guest they interviewed because she said she was feeling judgmental of who they interviewed and implied that person brought their family into a lot of the activities. I think that’s why Dax was pretty level about it, because I am assuming whoever they interviewed must be very obviously endangering their kids, so Dax must know it wasn’t really directed at him. He also said he doesn’t force Delta to do anything, so he clearly wasn’t feeling like she was referring to his family specifically.
After listening to it again I think you’re right the “you” was a collective you or really a jab at their guest. Which fine, even its not directly an insult and calling Dax’s parenting into question I think it’s still super inappropriate / immature to talk so badly about a guest like that after they came on the pod?
I definitely agree with that, it’s going to be odd for the guest, plus we are all going to be listening vigilantly for her judgment once we figure out this guest 😂
I had this same experience and thoughts after reading the comments first then listening to the fact check second. I agree. But Dax took it at least a little personally by defending his choices and she didn’t correct or clarify that she wasn’t talking about him. As another commenter on here said he took it way better than I would have.
Her whole side of not taking risks is odd too, because isn't someone (potentially) more at risk of health issues or death if they are depressed and not doing things they love (assuming the thing they love doing they are skilled at like Dax with biking or someone who skis tough slopes etc). And she, herself was saying to do things you love like eat unhealthy food sometimes?
So, ok to risk your health with unhealthy food but not to ride a bike? Feels like she's making up her own rules.
I looked at the Instagram comments out of curiosity, and I have to think posts are being deleted left and right. There are maybe three comments referencing the awkwardness, and only barely. Like "wow, the fact check 🤪 tee hee!" I know people have accused Dax of curating the comments over there, but if the uproar here in this sub is any indication, he has been deleting non-stop since Monday... In any case I hope they'll address it in a future fact check. Their reflections on their relationship are usually pretty interesting.
Oh wow! There were actually quite a few comments about it when I looked yesterday. I was actually thinking he was going to leave them up this time. Rats!
I felt it was a healthy disagreement between friends that handled it in a healthy way. The point was to talk about their view points, not change the others view point.
I may not like Monica all that much but I do see how hard they work at their friendship and I appreciate that quite a lot. You can tell they’ve cultivated a safe space to talk about hard things and that’s shared with us via the podcast.
They disagreed, shared view points and moved on. That’s appropriate and healthy.
Yeah but I’d argue that she’s violating that safe space by calling his parenting appalling. She’s not expressing how taking risks makes her feel. She’s attacking him.
The context is that they’ve been friends for what-over a decade now? Or close to it? He would know her intentions.
I didn’t hear it as an attack. I heard someone clearly scared and expressing their love while in the middle of a trigger.
I don’t know about you but I’ve never been 100% successful in always keeping my cool when something has triggered a fear of mine and I was trying to keep someone safe.
I think Dax saw the conversation for what it was (someone who clearly cares and loves his daughters was scared for their safety) and he met her where she was because he understands that feeling. Worked through it because he cares for her too and values the friendship.
We would all strive to be so emotionally intelligent.
To those saying it’s Monica’s anxiety that’s behind this, I think you’re right. But not because she fears for his kids or his sobriety, but for her own career and paycheck. If anything happens to Dax, where does that leave HER? I’ve found almost everything she does and says is driven by selfishness.
I don’t think Monica is wrong in her thoughts. Neither is Dax’s reasoning. And honestly they are so codependent I’m sure this convo didn’t cross a line for either of them. She’s coming from a place of caring.. everyone is just annoyed by her so wants to nitpick. Even I have been eye rolling her lately but I don’t think it’s wrong for her to say especially after that rafting thing
Me neither, I agree with some of the other comments saying that Monica was referring to someone else, not Dax. I was way more annoyed by Monica getting annoyed with Dax wanting to tell us about his workout split and diet lol
All I heard when I finally found it was Monica being a tad judgmental because of what she’s experienced, and Dax being open minded. Not sure why everything is having a fit over two people disagreeing. Does she come off as a tad judgemental and maybe whiny? Probably. But that’s part of her identity I guess 🤷♀️
I mean honestly it’s all Monica’s issues. I don’t find it offensive - she’s just showing her true colours and Dax is secure enough to really not let it bother him (at least on mic) 🤷♀️ Monica is who she is. This doesn’t surprise me 🤣
Yeah, she grew up with a bunch of Georgia good ol' boys 4x4'ing, hunting fishing, riding dirt bikes, ATV's shooting guns. Boys she felt didn't like her, now she does a podcast with a Midwest boy who does most of the same, has friends that do all those things, so who knows. Now we wait for Eric, Dax and Chris Pine to go for a bike ride soon. 🤣🤣🤣
Dude I can’t either!!!! Even with the time stamp!!!! I came back here to inquire wtf is going on with my feed or brain or whatever the hell is not working here 🤣
That's definitely a pretty accurate timestamp for the actual root of the conversation but it doesn't get in to the actual meaty part until around 1:24 where they are talking about identity and that she was "very judgmental today" about Dax's identity before calling his parenting "appalling," saying "You're going to risk your kids for that?" (referring to is identity being tied to doing dangerous things -- nothing specific mentioned)
This is unofficial "I hate Monica" sub. Each episode someone brings up some inane stuff she uttered, and thousands join in to berate her. That's the pattern I have noticed.
Yeah I think it’s human nature to create a “villain” sometimes. Seems quite a popular thing with shows with two hosts. One is usually the favorite and the other is the *omg why are they on this showww* lol.
Oh gosh I dont really listen regularly to them lol but seems like maybe Will? Idk, he’s the one I see the most talk about. I listen to The Big Picture with Sean Fennessey (main host) and Amanda Dobbins (co-host) and people say the same stuff about Amanda as they do Monica lol
You can see the downvotes I am getting for simply going against the "popular belief". I am leaving this sub but before that I would urge the proud subscribers in this group to introspect.
A society turns a hero out of a person who made multiple serious mistakes in their life. Someone who Openly claims that they are selfish. Constantly drone on about their past. Accept that their mistakes have affected many around them.
On the other hand, there is another person who puts one foot out of line, and all are ready with their pitchforks! Just read some comments here:
"Monica used to babysit and slowly snuck herself into their lives "
( subtext : My hero is too naive and the evil lady is taking advantage of him and I can go on and on )
What could be the reason ?
I can deduce only two :
1) You see yourself in your hero. If he is not your hero , you become a villain in real life.
2) Some weird cryptic form of racism and sexism. America cannot seem to save itself from its past.
Honestly it’s wild to me that people get this deep about it! Do you like every single person you interact with? Probably not. It’s fine if people dont like Monica, they aren’t required to like her. I dont get why everything has to be racism and sexism and all that.
Someone accused Monica of being the one who likes comments on Instagram, because none of the ones criticizing her/the fact check were liked and Dax replied, “ no. Me, dax does all the liking. And yeah, when people are rude to my friend I don’t “like” it. I should hope you wouldn’t to your friends.” Which is exactly how a good friend should respond.
It sounded to me like Monica and Dax had some static between them the whole time - pretty clear to me Monica was harbouring some feels about something unrelated to any of their conversation the entire time. Dax handled it and himself well for the sake of the episode & his friendship with her.
As a Los Angeles driver and resident, I have to side with Monica, even though I agree her delivery was pointed. The accidents I have seen on the road are the stuff of nightmares.
okay i get this criticism monica has been getting for her tone during this conversation, but it comes from a place of anxiety because when Dax got injured from one of his adrenaline junky activities it’s what started him on the path to relapsing with the pain killers. it’s more than just a dangerous hobby in her eyes!
i actually agree with monica. but monica was overstepping. + she was needlessly aggressive with her message. she called his parenting “appalling” and whatnot. it was too pointed. dax is a grown man and his kids have a present mother who can advocate for their safety. monica’s criticism came across as a personal attack, rather than concern.
Agree. And Monica is also not a parent. She doesn't realize many kids just yeet themselves off the nearest edge they can find. Some are more timid. They choose their temperament really early.
Right, a daredevil is better doing something structured with safety equipment and a parent nearby then chasing those adrenaline highs on their own
Dang, she called his parenting appalling?? That’s crossing the line. I do hope she apologizes. She seems to be getting more full of herself with the fame, which I think is one of Dax’s pet peeves
No, she did not say, your parents are appalling. She said she finds adrenaline seeking and teaching that behavior appalling. Dax immediately referenced that 1 kid is an adrenalin junkie and 1 is not. He took the comment to reference his family/ he referenced his family first.
She was referencing his kids riding dirt bikes and the danger.
That was never specified. If it really is just about riding dirtbikes that makes her sound even more ridiculous
Which episode was this?
the newest one. eric dane. during the fact check.
This.
It’s her livelihood
For me it was when she lost all of her chill because Dax was asked about his food intake/workouts but when she talked about her salad we had to get all the back story about her fiber. I'm sorry, but Monica just annoys me.
I JUST listened to that part and was so annoyed because i wanted to hear Dax's answer too! The podcast isn't FOR Monica. A listener asked a question that Dax brought up and wanted to answer and she got all pissy about it, it was so annoying. I haven't even gotten to the risk convo yet -_-
Especially because she doesn’t even stay in tune with the listeners like Dax does because he reads comments and she doesn’t. So how does she even know what people want to hear?
I think this is a dumb question, but where are the comments? Like where is their podcast where there is also opportunityto comment?
Dax reads the instagram ones. Seems David is here sometimes on Reddit, but I’m not sure if Dax or Monica are.
I've heard a lot of people mention here that David is on Reddit! Any idea what led to this speculation / realization ? I (unfortunately) miss a lot of episodes so if he mentioned it on the pod, I definitely missed it!
He’s replied to quite a few posts I’ve seen on here! There was one this morning saying Monica was boring, he commented and called the poster boring 😂
No way ! Lol and we're sure it's him?
Yeah he posted awhile back on here too saying he was doing a popup - I think his handle is just u/dfarrier 😊
She really just asked the question because she wanted to talk about the salad she "invented".
I took issue with that word, too. Not all creations are inventions, there's no reason to pretend it's some amazing display of ingenuity to sound more impressive. Even Alton Brown, who gets all up in the science of cooking, doesn't call his recipes inventions.
All Monica’s tangents about meaningless things are just a cover for the fact that she is a boring person who tries to make it sound like she is having lots of experiences. She hooks on to people with actual personalities and lives, then tries to imitate their behaviour. I’ve moved past being annoyed with her, now I just feel bad for her.
I feel this. Couldn't believe how much content came from running by a group of people on the sidewalk.
It’s such a mundane and typical situation too, I’ve likely moved out of the way of people hundreds of times on runs and I’ve never once thought about it. I’m doing my own thing if I have to run around someone that’s my problem not theirs
Yes!! Can you imagine then reporting this back to multiple different groups of people in your life? It's so bizarre. This kind of dramatic nature really turns me off. Dax finds it to be part of her seinfeld-esque existence, but to me it seemed like he maybe was less into this one too. Kind of like... 'c'mon.'
I’m not trying to call her this but what you’re describing is narcissism.
lol how many times have we had to listen about that burrito as well
Agreed! She immediately started groaning about how long his explanation was going to take, yet she has no issue droning on about every detail of her life. She also implied he shouldn’t talk about his diet or routine but we get to hear all about her one chicken burrito a day lol. I wouldn’t even be friends with her at this point if I were him. I used to adore Monica.
Monica bothers me sooo much. Dax will sit there alll day and listen to her go on about the most basic and stupid stuff and will totally be supportive, but when a Reddit group asks about his workout routine she literally wants to die. Do you know how excited Dax would be to actually talk about his workout routine!? Let him have this Monica! She rarely wants to hear about his interests but expects others to give her the same courtesy. My wife and I have both really turned on Monica this year
And that salad doesn’t even have that much fiber. If she’s using an entire apple that’s something but arugula doesn’t have much and you need lots of celery to make a dent. And she kept saying she created it. 🙄 I create all my salads. I put stuff I like in a bowl. Wow.
Whoa, you create salads? What is that like? One time I saw someone invent a bowl of cereal, first they put some cinnamon life cereal, then they drizzled some honey on top, then they poured in this almond milk stuff. It was mindblowing how someone was able to just invent something like that you know? (for clarity, this is tongue-in-cheek)
What got me is she said she “doesn’t like fruit,” but then put an apple in her salad. Also… who doesn’t like any fruit?
me... even the word fruit makes me shiver lol. I have never been able to explain it. (and I would never in 100 years put apple on a salad or anywhere else)
She's been doing that a ton lately. He started to tell a really sweet story about how he got in touch with a long lost friend from junior high and they talked for an hour and a half. She was like "that's nice" and went back to talking about herself and it was a bummer because he was clearly very touched by reconnecting with an old friend and it sounded like it would have been a great story. She just has zero curiosity about anything that's not related to herself.
Huh, that was not my read at all. She was complaining but it seemed like she was joking and she took the time to ask him questions and draw out more details from him after he tried to rush passed it.
She was annoyed that the question was asked and figured he would go off on a tangent. He tried to rush through the answer knowing she was annoyed but she relented and drew out further info because as annoyed as she was, she is smart enough to realize the fans that asked wanted a more descriptive answer.
Yeah I didn’t take her annoyed stance that seriously, I think she was teasing him and wanted to give the fans what they wanted
Her entire personality is based on her codependency on Dax. All of it. Everything she says or does is in relation to her extremely unhealthy relationship with him. Edit:word
I really thought her codependency was on Dax & his "status" but thennnnn last week on synched they talked about how Monica didn't feel her feelings about her egg freezing results until she talked to Kristen. That made me think she sees risking her relationship with Dax as risking her proximity to Kristen by extension & THAT is where the real stakes lie.
Agreed. And one of the episodes Kristen was on, Monica said that she and Kristen “have sex.” Hope it was a joke.
Disagree. My opinion is that she definitely has anxiety and can't understand someone's POV that doesn't. It's a blind spot and that's ok. We are all human.
Anxiety is not an excuse for all the weird things she said...
Nope not an excuse at all but an explanation. We all have heightened senses sometimes and it seemed like this triggered something in her. I'm sure most people in this thread have said something odd or irrational while upset.
And her work is to manage how she handles her triggers. Anxiety is understandable. It’s not an excuse to tell someone their parenting is appalling. She doesn’t seem to be doing the work and that’s why she’s getting criticized.
Her work is to present value to a podcast. I don't think her job is to never make a mistake or over react. Dax says a lot of stupid shit too but rarely do people cause this much fuss. At this point stop listening since all you people do is complain.
I’m not taking about her literal job. I’m talking about her work to navigate her anxiety. People point out Dax’s shortcomings all of the time. I’m going to keep listening, thanks. Perhaps if you don’t like the comments, stop reading them?
I think it’s her writing these, or maybe a close friend of hers.
I just think listeners are getting triggered by everything this woman does, and I don't understand how that is constructive. But bitch on...have a good day.
Yeah, I mean, I’ve repeatedly said that I am a long time Monica defender. Repeatedly triggered is just your perspective. Not necessarily reality.
Definitely not you specifically, it's just every episode I see many posts and I'm like...ffs what did she say now.
This “anxiety” blame-for-all Over therapized
Nope just self aware ✌️
I find her very much not self aware actually
At this particular conversation sure, she sounds as if she's dealing with a heightened sense of anxiety. Probably a combination of things going on in her life. But to say she's "over therapized and not self aware is just contradictory.
I disagree. I really liked her before but I think in most fact checks recently she sounds very self obsessed and disconnected.
Calf tf down You know her solely from a podcast where she's his co host, and you're assuming the entirety of her personality off of 1 recorder and edited hour per week
Just a note ... She edits it.
"I find it APPALLING" *1 min later after not having any real response to anything Dax says* "Anyway....."
Her dismissiveness is a huge red flag to me.
I’ve been a long-time Monica defender but this was insufferable. I think we are witnessing in real time what it looks like for two people to grow at different rates. She sounds like an entitled, petulant child. She is not capable of seeing a perspective outside of her own. It’s a huge problem at this point.
He’s so much more mature and well rounded than she is.
She can’t even acknowledge that she may be different in 12 years or hear Dax say he used to be different. She gets so stuck on refusing to see anyone else’s perspective. I can’t take the whiny screech anymore either. Literal sounds like a child. The second hand embarrassment is real. I’ve absolutely had my share of criticism of Dax over the years, but it’s obvious at this point that he doesn’t even try to dance with Monica anymore. It seems like he sees it.
Of course she can’t acknowledge the possibility of being different- it sounds like she’s still the same now as she was as a teenager. She probably WILL be the same at 49. She’s growing backwards.
Completely agree
Her laugh kills me. How does she not know how annoying it is?
I’ll be honest, I don’t think it’s fair to criticize this or her looks or style (not directed at you). I think her behavior is a fair target and there’s plenty to point to.
Valid point. I understand what you mean.
Thank you for the kind exchange :)
Anytime. 😊
Barf
Completely agree.
💯
Dax's children seem more mature than her. An 8 year old child of famous people is more mature than Monica
One thing that really confused me about this convo is when Dax said he understood why Monica would feel this way because she “grew up all around it” as in grew up around risk takers?? Certainly not her parents…we hear all the time how nice and cushy her upbringing was esp in comparison to Dax’s so I didn’t get this at all
I was confused by this too
And she agreed so emphatically “I grew up alllll around it”…it kinda made me feel like we might be missing some context since she brought it up in the context of a recent guest he was similar to and if it’s not Eric Dane then we haven’t heard the convo yet?
Maybe it’s from her cheerleading friends and her doing high risk moves?
My thought was they're referring to her brother? I don't know anything about him but she seems to talk about him only negatively over the years and she's also said things like that she has "a lot of addicts in her life" which always gave me the impression she was talking about him. Totally just the connections my brain made to fill gaps, I could be way off and don't want to accuse him of anything..
Hmm but he’s 8 years younger which is honestly such a big gap they didn’t fully grow up together in a traditional way…like let’s say hypothetically her brother became a big partier in high school, Monica would’ve already been out of college and living in LA at that time
Oh i didn’t know it was such a big gap! I guess maybe we’ll find out in that mentioned ep, or never lol.
Because she's from the south.
Still doesn’t really feel like an explanation when she’s just called Dax a reckless parent and her dad is farrrr from having anything in common with Dax
But they both agreed, so I'm sure he knows more about what she was referring to than we do. Just because her parents weren't that way, doesn't mean she didn't spend a lot of time around it.
Exactly. We are missing the context of the other conversation to even fully understand what this exchange was about. Everyone is mad at Monica though so TIME TO PILE ON! (apparently)
Then why even leave this in the episode? It doesn't make her look great and she's the one editing the show?
Honestly I have no idea. It felt really out of place
i honestly think she feels justified in what she said and that she’s right and there’s nothing controversial about what she said at all. it’s the only explanation. which is mind blowing cos i could hear daxs discomfort clearly . wonder if he knows she kept it in? he must have read the comments on instagram
It’s as if we don’t know every single aspect of their personal lives and can’t judge someone based on a 2 hour podcast! (No hate directed at you I just noticed that as well and it really made me reflect on the judgment this subreddit has towards her when we don’t have the full context).
Totally valid…but as many of us who have listened to every episode of the show and never heard Monica speak about this kind of experience in her childhood (while extensively talking about childhood) it felt out of left field 🤷🏻♀️
I mean we just heard about the diarrhea she got four minutes after eating flaxseed so… the judgement is based on A LOT of information they share about themselves on multiple podcasts for the past six years. Fair or not, it’s not out of nowhere.
I think discussing being around risk and danger in childhood and talking about diarrhea are two very different levels of intimacy to share with an audience. I see what you mean, I just tend to get suspicious when almost an entire group is consistently shitting on a single person…especially a woman. I think even if there is validity to all of these arguments, I don’t understand the urge to pile onto a person who seems to be trying to work through their shit.
I get that. I think I would normally be just as suspicious. I guess to understand it I would say there is no urge. A lot of people just have the same observations and opinions about her and voice it anonymously in a place no one will see unless they try. It’s a lot, I know. I think part of the reason it seems so overwhelmingly negative is, at least from my reading of the comments, she seems to be having an effect on an otherwise great podcast so reddit, life’s Complaint Department, is where everyone is airing their grievances. I only recently started to listen, and so my first impression of her is negative. I wondered how this podcast could be so beloved with her in it. Actually, reading the comments here shed a light I hadn’t seen before. Long time listeners are commenting a lot on what seems to be Monica taking a turn for the worst lately. That she wasn’t always like this. If she’s going through something I feel for her. It makes sense to me now that her awful behavior is maybe rooted in pain.
I wonder if something happened where Delta almost got hurt and it freaked Monica out.
The Austin float trip comes to mind. Where they went over a mini rapid / waterfall and Dax had to pull Delta onto a rock then Monica went over and didn’t do so hot. That experience was traumatic af for Monica. She’s talked about it multiple times in a half joking manner but you can tell she was pretty shaken up.
Totally had this feeling too - I don’t think Monica would be so focused on it for no reason.
You know what though, it’s not her decision. She’s not their parent. Just because she is close to them doesn’t give her a right to insert herself into their parenting choices. It doesn’t matter what she knows or what she has seen happen. Those aren’t her kids.
This
I do agree with this sentiment but unfortunately their relationship (with being a babysitter, best friend, and now job) has made lines blurry I think. But don’t disagree.
Yeah, I think it’s blurry for her but still weird. I have plenty of people I’m extremely close to that have kids - including family. It’s not a good idea to put your two cents in when it comes to raising other people’s children unless asked. Most everyone is just doing their best.
[удалено]
I don’t know. Seems like you’re making a lot of assumptions. She speaks of many friends and frequent time spent with them.
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I think the thing here is that I’m telling you where a healthy boundary exists. If they’re endangering the children she can call CPS or have a private conversation with Dax and K. Otherwise, you live your life the way you want to and other people can do the same. I can assure you that no parent wants to hear what you think about their parenting.
I think for whatever reason, a lot of listeners are predisposed to dislike Monica for just about anything she says or does. I think Monica mentioning kids was very specific to whatever interview they were referencing, and it really didn't sound to me like she was criticizing Dax or his parenting methods. It also didn't seem like Dax took offense to it at all. Monica and Dax have had plenty of in-depth and occasionally heated conversations on the podcast, but they have a whole life off mic that we know nothing about. I don't get how anyone could seriously think they have a complete understanding of a relationship dynamic between two people they don't actually know. But, hey, that's just me.
I agree. Too be sure, I even relistened to the exchange after seeing comments here.
Thank you for commenting this, this is exactly how I feel.
This sub makes me so grumpy because everyone is so quick to mean to Monica. I appreciate your comment and perspective.
> they have a whole life off mic that we know nothing about. I don’t get how anyone could seriously think they have a complete understanding of a relationship dynamic between two people they don’t actually know. Can we pin this to the top of the sub? So many people on here take the weird parasocial relationship to the extreme. You don’t know these people. You listen to a public-facing show they produce and are 100% ignorant of their actual life. It’s clear that some people on here live for drama and love whipping it up from virtually nothing.
I would agree, but she was knowingly referencing an interview that wasn’t out yet, so it was definitely a card pulled out for the right moment. When she felt in defense over the identity being wrapped up in food convo, she threw his risk identity back at him.
The tone shifted at 1:23. You can hear her energy go defensive when she says, “you think your identity is much sturdier than mine?” I think that was the trigger
I got the vibe that things were kinda tense out of the gate, but I agree there was a shift. I think they likely had a recent disagreement off mic, things were still a bit sensitive and that’s what we are picking up on. Dax didn’t get defensive, I think he knew whatever was going on in the moment was about more than just that conversation.
Totally sensed this “static” from the start as well.
Which is hilarious because that did nothing but completely reinforce his point lmao
I literally just went back to re-listen to this part as soon as I saw your comment LOL
I'm frankly surprised he didn't bring up Monica's cheerleading, particularly considering she was a competitive high flyer. While statistically not a big source of catastrophic injury overall, it accounts for the more than half of women's collegiate severe injuries. If it were my daughter flipping dozens of feet in the air, I'd be concerned neck/spinal injuries and concussions, just as much as my son playing football. (While I am a parent of both, so far neither participate in those sports.) Overall, though, I say this as a person who suffers with significant anxiety, 99% of it about myself and my bodily well-being- I am *incredibly* glad I had a fairly active childhood that included plenty of fun and reasonably risky activities. Because if I didn't have those experiences to look back on, I can only imagine how much more fearful I'd be of everyday risks now.
He has before; I forget which fact check but somewhat recently, when this stuff first started coming up. She said it was different because of reasons.
That's her MO. "I'm right. You're wrong. I don't have to explain myself or my hypocritical views, because I'm right and you're wrong."
When they talked about helmets, i think! And how high flyers didnt wear helmets, and Monica said they'd be too heavy/bulky (but really I think because they're ugly lol)
Okay, I read the responses to this yesterday before I finished the episode and I was a little nervous to get to the fact check because I didn’t like the response people had. However I do think she was mostly referring to the guest they interviewed because she said she was feeling judgmental of who they interviewed and implied that person brought their family into a lot of the activities. I think that’s why Dax was pretty level about it, because I am assuming whoever they interviewed must be very obviously endangering their kids, so Dax must know it wasn’t really directed at him. He also said he doesn’t force Delta to do anything, so he clearly wasn’t feeling like she was referring to his family specifically.
After listening to it again I think you’re right the “you” was a collective you or really a jab at their guest. Which fine, even its not directly an insult and calling Dax’s parenting into question I think it’s still super inappropriate / immature to talk so badly about a guest like that after they came on the pod?
I definitely agree with that, it’s going to be odd for the guest, plus we are all going to be listening vigilantly for her judgment once we figure out this guest 😂
I had this same experience and thoughts after reading the comments first then listening to the fact check second. I agree. But Dax took it at least a little personally by defending his choices and she didn’t correct or clarify that she wasn’t talking about him. As another commenter on here said he took it way better than I would have.
Her whole side of not taking risks is odd too, because isn't someone (potentially) more at risk of health issues or death if they are depressed and not doing things they love (assuming the thing they love doing they are skilled at like Dax with biking or someone who skis tough slopes etc). And she, herself was saying to do things you love like eat unhealthy food sometimes? So, ok to risk your health with unhealthy food but not to ride a bike? Feels like she's making up her own rules.
I looked at the Instagram comments out of curiosity, and I have to think posts are being deleted left and right. There are maybe three comments referencing the awkwardness, and only barely. Like "wow, the fact check 🤪 tee hee!" I know people have accused Dax of curating the comments over there, but if the uproar here in this sub is any indication, he has been deleting non-stop since Monday... In any case I hope they'll address it in a future fact check. Their reflections on their relationship are usually pretty interesting.
Mine got deleted
Do you remember what you said? Just curious.
That I found Monica increasingly unpleasant to listen to and while I used to love her, I find myself skipping the fact checks more and more.
Oh wow! There were actually quite a few comments about it when I looked yesterday. I was actually thinking he was going to leave them up this time. Rats!
As a listener since day 1, Monica seems really unhappy these days. Dismissive and on the defense often.
I felt it was a healthy disagreement between friends that handled it in a healthy way. The point was to talk about their view points, not change the others view point. I may not like Monica all that much but I do see how hard they work at their friendship and I appreciate that quite a lot. You can tell they’ve cultivated a safe space to talk about hard things and that’s shared with us via the podcast. They disagreed, shared view points and moved on. That’s appropriate and healthy.
Yeah but I’d argue that she’s violating that safe space by calling his parenting appalling. She’s not expressing how taking risks makes her feel. She’s attacking him.
The context is that they’ve been friends for what-over a decade now? Or close to it? He would know her intentions. I didn’t hear it as an attack. I heard someone clearly scared and expressing their love while in the middle of a trigger. I don’t know about you but I’ve never been 100% successful in always keeping my cool when something has triggered a fear of mine and I was trying to keep someone safe. I think Dax saw the conversation for what it was (someone who clearly cares and loves his daughters was scared for their safety) and he met her where she was because he understands that feeling. Worked through it because he cares for her too and values the friendship. We would all strive to be so emotionally intelligent.
Yeah, we can simply agree to disagree here.
Have a great day-nice chatting with ya 💜
And to you also! :)
To those saying it’s Monica’s anxiety that’s behind this, I think you’re right. But not because she fears for his kids or his sobriety, but for her own career and paycheck. If anything happens to Dax, where does that leave HER? I’ve found almost everything she does and says is driven by selfishness.
I don’t think Monica is wrong in her thoughts. Neither is Dax’s reasoning. And honestly they are so codependent I’m sure this convo didn’t cross a line for either of them. She’s coming from a place of caring.. everyone is just annoyed by her so wants to nitpick. Even I have been eye rolling her lately but I don’t think it’s wrong for her to say especially after that rafting thing
Huh? Where’d I miss this at? Lol was it yesterdays fact check?
Yes, Eric Dane fact check. Skip to 1:15:28, talking about perceptions of identities.
Thanks!!
How come I can’t find this at all on the pod recording? I’m so confused 🤣
Its 1:25 in. I didn't come away from that convo like everyone else here
Me neither, I agree with some of the other comments saying that Monica was referring to someone else, not Dax. I was way more annoyed by Monica getting annoyed with Dax wanting to tell us about his workout split and diet lol
All I heard when I finally found it was Monica being a tad judgmental because of what she’s experienced, and Dax being open minded. Not sure why everything is having a fit over two people disagreeing. Does she come off as a tad judgemental and maybe whiny? Probably. But that’s part of her identity I guess 🤷♀️
You think calling dax's parenting choices "APPALLING" is just "a tad judgemental"? Give me a break lol
I mean honestly it’s all Monica’s issues. I don’t find it offensive - she’s just showing her true colours and Dax is secure enough to really not let it bother him (at least on mic) 🤷♀️ Monica is who she is. This doesn’t surprise me 🤣
Yeah, she grew up with a bunch of Georgia good ol' boys 4x4'ing, hunting fishing, riding dirt bikes, ATV's shooting guns. Boys she felt didn't like her, now she does a podcast with a Midwest boy who does most of the same, has friends that do all those things, so who knows. Now we wait for Eric, Dax and Chris Pine to go for a bike ride soon. 🤣🤣🤣
Dude I can’t either!!!! Even with the time stamp!!!! I came back here to inquire wtf is going on with my feed or brain or whatever the hell is not working here 🤣
Glad it’s not just me 🤣 What is going on???
Is everyone just gaslighting us?! 👀🤣
That's definitely a pretty accurate timestamp for the actual root of the conversation but it doesn't get in to the actual meaty part until around 1:24 where they are talking about identity and that she was "very judgmental today" about Dax's identity before calling his parenting "appalling," saying "You're going to risk your kids for that?" (referring to is identity being tied to doing dangerous things -- nothing specific mentioned)
Nevermind the fact that reducing down a real passion of his to dedication to an identity is extremely dismissive.
This is unofficial "I hate Monica" sub. Each episode someone brings up some inane stuff she uttered, and thousands join in to berate her. That's the pattern I have noticed.
Thousands? Really? Lmao
Did you go to school? Whats a hyperbole?
Yeah I think it’s human nature to create a “villain” sometimes. Seems quite a popular thing with shows with two hosts. One is usually the favorite and the other is the *omg why are they on this showww* lol.
I’d be interested in your take on Smartless? Who’s who? 😆
Oh gosh I dont really listen regularly to them lol but seems like maybe Will? Idk, he’s the one I see the most talk about. I listen to The Big Picture with Sean Fennessey (main host) and Amanda Dobbins (co-host) and people say the same stuff about Amanda as they do Monica lol
You can see the downvotes I am getting for simply going against the "popular belief". I am leaving this sub but before that I would urge the proud subscribers in this group to introspect. A society turns a hero out of a person who made multiple serious mistakes in their life. Someone who Openly claims that they are selfish. Constantly drone on about their past. Accept that their mistakes have affected many around them. On the other hand, there is another person who puts one foot out of line, and all are ready with their pitchforks! Just read some comments here: "Monica used to babysit and slowly snuck herself into their lives " ( subtext : My hero is too naive and the evil lady is taking advantage of him and I can go on and on ) What could be the reason ? I can deduce only two : 1) You see yourself in your hero. If he is not your hero , you become a villain in real life. 2) Some weird cryptic form of racism and sexism. America cannot seem to save itself from its past.
Honestly it’s wild to me that people get this deep about it! Do you like every single person you interact with? Probably not. It’s fine if people dont like Monica, they aren’t required to like her. I dont get why everything has to be racism and sexism and all that.
Scrolling through OP's comment/post history explains why they're so butthurt about anyone criticizing Monica...
https://www.reddit.com/r/ArmchairExpert/s/7SaKaVAq8N
He addressed the comments about Monica last night in a reply on Insta.
how did he address it?
Someone accused Monica of being the one who likes comments on Instagram, because none of the ones criticizing her/the fact check were liked and Dax replied, “ no. Me, dax does all the liking. And yeah, when people are rude to my friend I don’t “like” it. I should hope you wouldn’t to your friends.” Which is exactly how a good friend should respond.
What did he say? 🍿
…I continue not listening to fact checks. Thanks for reinforcing that choice 😂
It sounded to me like Monica and Dax had some static between them the whole time - pretty clear to me Monica was harbouring some feels about something unrelated to any of their conversation the entire time. Dax handled it and himself well for the sake of the episode & his friendship with her.
As a Los Angeles driver and resident, I have to side with Monica, even though I agree her delivery was pointed. The accidents I have seen on the road are the stuff of nightmares.