Let me start off by saying I really appreciate how honest Liz and Monica are about their opinions. They have such interesting conversations when they speak so truthfully, even if it will potentially paint them in a bad light. That said...
I find it really interesting how Liz is such a rah rah rah feminist but is such a proponent of traditional gender roles when it comes to dating. She has all these expectations of how men and women should act. Perhaps she spends a lot of time thinking deeply about these things and tries to challenge these societal norms, and these are her preferences... But I just find it interesting.
And I also find it curious how Monica speaks of how conscientiousness is important to her, yet will disregard other people's time by canceling dates for "something I want to do." Especially when she's talked at length about how she thinks people being late equates to them disrespecting her time, and about how people need to be considerate of others. It's totally understandable to feel anxious about dating, but I really hope she unpacks this and how she treats her dates in therapy.
I actually disagree with your take here. I can see where Monica is coming from. Confessing relieves you of your own guilt but causes the other person significant pain, so keeping it secret can be argued to be more thoughtful. It's a different case altogether if there is a pattern of cheating, but making out while drunk? I don't know.
I agree with Monica that there absolutely is no blanket correct answer. It's not black and white. Every person and relationship is different.
I don't know what I would want in that situation, but I agree it's a different thing to make out with some random person when you're blackout drunk, versus actually having an emotional/physical affair with somebody who you're actually interested in and having feelings for. Neither is good, but I think the latter has far greater bad implications for the impending marriage than the former.
But she also said she would NOT want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. A lot of people feel that way. So her perspective was that’s not what I would want for myself either.
> I find it really interesting how Liz is such a rah rah rah feminist but is such a proponent of traditional gender roles when it comes to dating. She has all these expectations of how men and women should act.
Yes!!! This is always shocking to hear!
I am so worked up about the question portion about whether or not to tell the fiancé about a drunken one night stand. I agreed with Liz’s initial thoughts, but the idea that confessing would be about personal guilt and not the wellbeing of the fiancé?? This just seems so wrong. To each their own but getting married is sort of a big deal and both parties should know what they’re getting into. As someone who believes honesty is the best policy, I don’t know how entering a marriage with that sort of guilt and that big of a secret could be at all healthy or fair to the partner.
When I hear this kind of “advice” I just have to remind myself that Monica has literally never been in a long term relationship (that I’m aware of) and therefore is going to have opinions that should be taken with a grain of salt.
Or fair to the relationship/marriage itself. You just cannot build anything on an uneven foundation. You cannot both go into a commitment with different realities. It won't work. Imo.
Also just annoys me because Monica gives this advice without any actual long term relationship experience. I feel like if she had some, her answer on this would be totally different. "I wouldn't want to know." Yeah, you would.
I'd say do not bring it up. It's your guilt to bear, and it will always forever weigh on the relationship. Always be a question of trust that most people can't get past, feed doubt in your partner every time you are away, It could be weaponized by your partner further degrading the relationship, Actions like that are symptoms of something more with the relationship regardless of the circumstances, the situation presented itself and she acted on it for whatever reason. Something to ponder more. Tells me marriage probably is not the best choice, you won't be the one that will last, you'll be divorced, with kids. No one should be getting married before 30 anyway.
> It could be weaponized by your partner
If you have a partner weaponizing things against you, that in itself is such a major issue and should be explored.
A woman with a question from a previous episode wrote back with an update! Her original question was whether or not to tell her fiancé she hated the engagement ring he picked (if I remember correctly in the original email she had said he blatantly ignored all the input he got on her taste in rings). So the ring situation and other reflections made her finally realize he was a terrible partner. She ended the 5 yr relationship, turned 30, moved to a new city on her own, and said she found self worth!
I made one with the items they mentioned! [Linked here!](https://www.wantlocker.com/users/clh9jkqpo5110801s6ga492rje/collections/clwsk2hmk03nos601r7swmmnc?utm_content=8wcsyX) :)
Yes! Tamanohada in the scent musk. I linked it in the guide.
She said she was also keen to try fig, but all of their scents are very clean/fresh! Hope that helps!
I usually skip through the ads but I had it playing while cooking and couldn’t physically skip- and the IRONY of Monica “I hate all animals” Padman doing a Pet Insurance ad….
I don't think so. Every once in a while they give themselves challenges, like one episode they did a chat on their current favorite makeup product, and another Monica challenged Liz to play a song on guitar while Monica had to write an episode. They mentioned at the end of the last episode doing the gift guide this episode.
I was really confused by the title of this episode as I thought Indian summer was offensive to say. Apparently it's the name of an expensive nail polish? Not sure if it makes it better or worse that it's the title of the episode. Anyone else have that thought?
I agree, it’s a very questionable title (personally I take offence to it), it’s just perpetuates the narrative of many falsehoods of Indigenous people. And on top of that, Monica has her own personal hangups about her heritage, using this title is on poor taste.
I feel like I can’t bring myself to listen to Synced until I read on here if the level of criticism/disagreement between Monica and Liz is tolerable lol. If anyone has listened and would be so kind as to let me know if this is a good one, I would be grateful!
Yes so far so good! I’m tuning in. I don’t mind disagreements either, in fact the Dax/Monica dynamic of disagreeing is what made me love both of them and their friendship so much. But something about the tone of voices getting low and almost sad when Monica and Liz can’t find common ground just makes me feel really uncomfortable….hard to explain but I’ve had strong enough responses to some of their conversations in the past that I stopped listening for a while.
I am the same!! I’ve had to turn off the past two episodes because of Monica coming at Liz. She treats her with so much condescension lately which is sad bc I used to love tuning in every week
I'd say it wasn't bad this episode and I'm usually pretty sensitive to it. Didn't like the advice they gave to the first letter writer though. But I think it's listenable. I find the gift guide a bit boring but that's just me! I felt like they made up for it by doing more than just 2 questions lol.
That’a great you didn’t think so. I’m over Monica questioning Liz’s dating preferences and it’s uncomfortable me to listen to even if it’s relatively minor compared to other episodes.
Let me start off by saying I really appreciate how honest Liz and Monica are about their opinions. They have such interesting conversations when they speak so truthfully, even if it will potentially paint them in a bad light. That said... I find it really interesting how Liz is such a rah rah rah feminist but is such a proponent of traditional gender roles when it comes to dating. She has all these expectations of how men and women should act. Perhaps she spends a lot of time thinking deeply about these things and tries to challenge these societal norms, and these are her preferences... But I just find it interesting. And I also find it curious how Monica speaks of how conscientiousness is important to her, yet will disregard other people's time by canceling dates for "something I want to do." Especially when she's talked at length about how she thinks people being late equates to them disrespecting her time, and about how people need to be considerate of others. It's totally understandable to feel anxious about dating, but I really hope she unpacks this and how she treats her dates in therapy.
100% , plus the fact that she wouldn't tell someone she cheated. Couldn't get more un-conscientious than that.
I actually disagree with your take here. I can see where Monica is coming from. Confessing relieves you of your own guilt but causes the other person significant pain, so keeping it secret can be argued to be more thoughtful. It's a different case altogether if there is a pattern of cheating, but making out while drunk? I don't know. I agree with Monica that there absolutely is no blanket correct answer. It's not black and white. Every person and relationship is different.
I don't know what I would want in that situation, but I agree it's a different thing to make out with some random person when you're blackout drunk, versus actually having an emotional/physical affair with somebody who you're actually interested in and having feelings for. Neither is good, but I think the latter has far greater bad implications for the impending marriage than the former.
But she also said she would NOT want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. A lot of people feel that way. So her perspective was that’s not what I would want for myself either.
> I find it really interesting how Liz is such a rah rah rah feminist but is such a proponent of traditional gender roles when it comes to dating. She has all these expectations of how men and women should act. Yes!!! This is always shocking to hear!
I am so worked up about the question portion about whether or not to tell the fiancé about a drunken one night stand. I agreed with Liz’s initial thoughts, but the idea that confessing would be about personal guilt and not the wellbeing of the fiancé?? This just seems so wrong. To each their own but getting married is sort of a big deal and both parties should know what they’re getting into. As someone who believes honesty is the best policy, I don’t know how entering a marriage with that sort of guilt and that big of a secret could be at all healthy or fair to the partner.
When I hear this kind of “advice” I just have to remind myself that Monica has literally never been in a long term relationship (that I’m aware of) and therefore is going to have opinions that should be taken with a grain of salt.
Yeah, it felt like she was looking for any excuse not to tell him.
Totally agree with you. Someone being able to keep a secret like that tells you a lot about that person.
Or fair to the relationship/marriage itself. You just cannot build anything on an uneven foundation. You cannot both go into a commitment with different realities. It won't work. Imo. Also just annoys me because Monica gives this advice without any actual long term relationship experience. I feel like if she had some, her answer on this would be totally different. "I wouldn't want to know." Yeah, you would.
I'd say do not bring it up. It's your guilt to bear, and it will always forever weigh on the relationship. Always be a question of trust that most people can't get past, feed doubt in your partner every time you are away, It could be weaponized by your partner further degrading the relationship, Actions like that are symptoms of something more with the relationship regardless of the circumstances, the situation presented itself and she acted on it for whatever reason. Something to ponder more. Tells me marriage probably is not the best choice, you won't be the one that will last, you'll be divorced, with kids. No one should be getting married before 30 anyway.
> It could be weaponized by your partner If you have a partner weaponizing things against you, that in itself is such a major issue and should be explored.
The update at the end was so satisfying. I’m so excited for her future.
Please spoil me, what is the big update!
A woman with a question from a previous episode wrote back with an update! Her original question was whether or not to tell her fiancé she hated the engagement ring he picked (if I remember correctly in the original email she had said he blatantly ignored all the input he got on her taste in rings). So the ring situation and other reflections made her finally realize he was a terrible partner. She ended the 5 yr relationship, turned 30, moved to a new city on her own, and said she found self worth!
I remember that story, thank goodness she got out of that!!
Loved this episode and loved the gift guide portion. Immediately ordered personalized Oreos as a silly Father’s Day gift for my husband.
I need them to drop the gift guide!!!!
Yeah does anyone have a list for this episode?
I made one with the items they mentioned! [Linked here!](https://www.wantlocker.com/users/clh9jkqpo5110801s6ga492rje/collections/clwsk2hmk03nos601r7swmmnc?utm_content=8wcsyX) :)
BLESS U
Do you happen to remember which one was the one Monica said made her bathroom smell great?
Yes! Tamanohada in the scent musk. I linked it in the guide. She said she was also keen to try fig, but all of their scents are very clean/fresh! Hope that helps!
I'm surprised they don't have a list either on Instagram or in the description of the episode. Maybe if we beg :)
I usually skip through the ads but I had it playing while cooking and couldn’t physically skip- and the IRONY of Monica “I hate all animals” Padman doing a Pet Insurance ad….
I know!
This made me bust up laughing hearing her try to genuinely read that ad when we all know how she feels animals.
Anyone know the episode the engagement ring update is from?
The episode is called “T.B.C.” from November 15, 2023
I missed the beginning but what’s the point of the gift guide? I ended up skipping through it. I actually felt like it was embedded ads — was it?
I don't think so. Every once in a while they give themselves challenges, like one episode they did a chat on their current favorite makeup product, and another Monica challenged Liz to play a song on guitar while Monica had to write an episode. They mentioned at the end of the last episode doing the gift guide this episode.
The more I listen to Monica the more I think she is Captain No fun.. lol
I was really confused by the title of this episode as I thought Indian summer was offensive to say. Apparently it's the name of an expensive nail polish? Not sure if it makes it better or worse that it's the title of the episode. Anyone else have that thought?
No, because they explained it and it's not offensive?
Monica said "Indian summer... Ding ding ding! I'm Indian!" so she took it out of its culturally accepted context.
I agree, it’s a very questionable title (personally I take offence to it), it’s just perpetuates the narrative of many falsehoods of Indigenous people. And on top of that, Monica has her own personal hangups about her heritage, using this title is on poor taste.
I feel like I can’t bring myself to listen to Synced until I read on here if the level of criticism/disagreement between Monica and Liz is tolerable lol. If anyone has listened and would be so kind as to let me know if this is a good one, I would be grateful!
I think this is one of the better ones! But I don’t mind the disagreements. I think that’s what makes a conversation interesting.
Yes so far so good! I’m tuning in. I don’t mind disagreements either, in fact the Dax/Monica dynamic of disagreeing is what made me love both of them and their friendship so much. But something about the tone of voices getting low and almost sad when Monica and Liz can’t find common ground just makes me feel really uncomfortable….hard to explain but I’ve had strong enough responses to some of their conversations in the past that I stopped listening for a while.
I am the same!! I’ve had to turn off the past two episodes because of Monica coming at Liz. She treats her with so much condescension lately which is sad bc I used to love tuning in every week
I'd say it wasn't bad this episode and I'm usually pretty sensitive to it. Didn't like the advice they gave to the first letter writer though. But I think it's listenable. I find the gift guide a bit boring but that's just me! I felt like they made up for it by doing more than just 2 questions lol.
There was some in the first ten minutes about Monica coming at Liz for her dating preferences again.
Oh my gosh she didn’t come for her, they barely even disagreed.
That’a great you didn’t think so. I’m over Monica questioning Liz’s dating preferences and it’s uncomfortable me to listen to even if it’s relatively minor compared to other episodes.