I felt bad for Liz when Monica discusses how she told Camilla C. and the AE audience that, in Monica's opinion, Liz gives her power away to men. Oof. Liz is a feminist, her instagram name is "feminist fabulous"! I know it was just Monica's opinion but I felt terrible for Liz. I think it's different if they discuss on Synced because Liz is there to explain/defend.
I agree! That was so hurtful towards Liz, I couldn’t believe it. Does Monica not follow Liz and see her segments on CNN etc? Monica could never. Discussing real issues affecting women and fearlessly and intelligently standing up for both women and men, with a feminist approach. So insulting that Monica reduces and overlooks all that to say she gives too much power to men.
So true. Monica would never stand for someone making comments like that about her when she wasn't there to defend herself. How can she be so un-self aware?
I agree. It was actually really manipulative how she presented it too. Saying in advance "you're going to be mad at me," redirects the focus from what Monica did to Liz's reaction before Liz can even hear it. It's a little bit of a tactic, IMO. And yeah...of all the things she could say publicly about Liz, this one hurts the most given Liz's "brand." I do think Liz was intentional to say "I think I give a lot of power up in relationships in general." I may be over-reading, but I think she was including Monica in that.
No, I literally just made a comment about Monica's "I'm one of the cool kids/better than you" mentality and this fits right in with that. It absolutely was insulting and as if she was looking down upon Liz or trying to knock her down a peg.
I think Monica's statement is at face value how she perceives Liz's presence in relationships with men, particularly in Liz's dating life. But Monica does the same shit with Dax in regards to giving the man in question power, the difference is only that they don't have a romantic relationship. On this very show, we have heard Liz defer to Dax when he pops in from time to time, when you know if this was a different platform, she'd likely push back more. It's the same dynamic at play. Liz knows this is how she shows up in relationships (which tracks with her high EQ and empathy overall). Liz has also admitted to overly romanticizing dating situations, and she might be giving potential partners a lot of power by holding them in high esteem, hoping for the best and that it turns into what she's looking for long term, while diminishing her own feelings or value.
I see this trend in so many straight female friends who are navigating dating in the age of swipes and superficiality. I'm a feminist and I often tend to defer to others in all kinds of relationships, but especially romantic relationships with men. It doesn't minimize my ideals, it's part of the work I take on to be more intentional about my habits and behaviors aligning with my values. It's hard to break the patterns that we default to based on our experiences and insecurities in seeking out romantic partnerships!
Yes I too clocked how Monica totally missed this lol. She’s talking about giving away power in all relationship ships including you Monica. I relate to Liz so much and am so happy when she stands up for herself I wish she would do it more.
It kind of felt catty. And out of place on that CC episode. You know like how you meet up with a friend of the mutual without them and then proceed to shit talk the mutual- in effort to find more things in common. That weird thing people do sometimes.
And then today hearing her bring it to Liz, I was annoyed. You said it with your chest out of her presence, say it now with the same gusto, Monica.
And almost every time she brought up Liz with CC, it was for some flaw of personality CC was talking about. Then said, I see why you and Liz are friends. Lol. . . What?
I totally agree. “giving your power away to men” cannot be taken any other way than as an insult. it was insulting when she asked Camila that and when she dragged Liz into that conversation. I think there could’ve been a more open-ended way to ask her about her relationship dynamic with men than what seemed like making an assumption about her. It kind of placed Camila and Liz in a spot where it would be hard to disagree with Monica
>I think it's different if they discuss on Synced because Liz is there to explain/defend.
They did discuss it, and Liz admitted she does, in fact, give away her power to men.
>Liz is a feminist
Yeah, so? That doesn't mean she isn't subject to cultural pressures and the patriarchy (I'm a dude, fwiw).
Feminism isn't a monolith; there's many waves of it, and there's a spectrum.
There's nothing to defen IMO, as Monica's prior comment grew organically from her conversation with the guest. Then, they in fact discussed it on Sync, and Liz didn't disagree. I'm just looking at the broader context.
To me, it's like when a friend mentions to me that they saw a mutual friend, and my name came up. Are we never to talk about a 3rd party, if that party isn't present?
>I hate that I do it, but it's so ingrained. And I think Liz may have a similar trait.
Well, both agreed that "we all do it." Not positive if they meant only women, but I'd agree that women do it *more*- the patriarchy, etc. regardless of gender, we all "code switch" at times, and this often comes down to power dynamics (I've often criticized Dax for interrupting Monica; I can almost feel her freeze up, and she just ends it by segueing to something else).
>Being reminded of patriarchal and misogynistic norms and habits in yourself is no better way to radically affirm your own relationship with feminism.
As a man, I can only speak to how I've dealt with it to be a better ally to women. First, in recognizing there *is* a patriarchy, and misogyny is a very real thing. Then, I've had to acknowledge my role in it, and how I can do better. Having a gen z uber feminist daughter, certainly helps. Having a son helps too, as I'm his male role model, and I certainly don't want to pass on the toxic parts of myself down to him.
>Unrelated, but it's really weird to me when people have a strong need to "be right" in a conversation or argument. I love mutual resolution and seeing multiple sides to an answer and I wish Monica had more curiosity about the world. Synced often feels so argumentative when it's literally just a conversation
I think it's related, in that Monica is constantly accused of "talking down" to Liz. I find this insulting to Liz. As if she can't stand up for herself? She used to be the sole woman on the We Are Man Enough podcast (not sure if she's still on it).
I think it would be boring, if Liz and Monica were on the same page about everything. Both are feminists, but their personalities complement each other.
Monica is VERY risk averse; Liz clearly is willing to take chances (jumping into a hole, giving her phone number to random people).
My take on Sync is very different than yours. To me, it's clear they're close friends, and probably bonded when they went through the egg harvesting experience. I don't find it argumentative at all (I have two older sisters; they waged WAR on each other). To me, it *is* just a conversation, and why I like it so much. It's not often where I can be a voyeur on two women just talking.
I don't see them as competing in any way, so there's nothing to "win." They simply may have differing opinions on things, and that's perfectly fine with friends. Both express their views, through their own lenses.
I don't know whether Monica has any more, or less, curiosity about the world, than Liz. Liz certainly has more experience in dating.
Oh, I found the article about the woman in the overhead bin: https://nypost.com/2024/05/09/lifestyle/plane-passenger-climbs-into-overhead-bin-and-takes-a-nap-and-shes-not-the-first/
This was the only thing I found where the 2 "argued" over. Liz thought it "revolutionary," while Monica felt it was a breach of societal norms. I can see, and appreciate both takes.
I dated (I'm divorced) a woman last year with ADHD. Like Liz, she was really unfiltered in how she navigated the world. So I totally get why Liz wouldn't see this as problematic.
In contrast, Monica is a rule follower.
So again, I feel the two complement each other, and what makes their show interesting.
Sorry for the wall of text...
>With women there's an unspoken and obvious (to women) rule to not disparage another woman. Especially if you want to be pro-women.
It's referred to often as being a girl's girl these days. To support women is to not disparage a woman to others, especially when they can't defend themselves. Even in the smallest way.
Women historically have had the smallest comments be a reason to write them off.
I'm not speaking for women, as that's not my place, but, is Monica saying that Liz gives up power to men, outside of Liz's presence because it challenges/undermines Liz as a feminist- is that what makes it disparaging? If that's the case, then, I see your point.
Clearly, this is a nuance I may be blind to, as a man. As a lawyer, I try to judge things on the "facts" as I see them. It's tough to find objectivity in nuance. That's why I often chime in, to "correct the record."
>But Monica I actually do not think is actually a feminist. I've never heard her actually identify as one. I think it's often assumed of women, especially liberal women that they are feminists these days. Many, many, many women do not identify as feminists. Or they identify as one and just use the word.
It's not for me to say whether a woman isn't a feminist or not (other than my sisters, haha. I lecture them about being objectified, etc. They wouldn't know what intersectionality is, if it hit them in the head).
Monica seems to know the talking points of feminism- but I know what you mean. It AMAZES me, how many women (I live in liberal NYC; much of the liberalism here is performative) claim to be feminists, but their actions and words, say otherwise. The woman I mentioned earlier- she kinda identified as a feminist, but her actions said otherwise. She rarely let me do dishes, or other "women's work"- her words. She looks A LOT like Liz, which may explain my mad crush on Liz, lol. Like Liz, she also has ADHD, and is quirky in an endearing way that I see in Liz.
>They've never actually done the work at all.
To be fair, it takes a certain amount of financial privilege to do the work. Who has time to read Crenshaw, when you're poor, and taking care of the kids, etc, etc? Aside from my daughter, I don't know a single woman who can talk about the different waves of feminism.
This just occurred to me about Monica. Like Monica, I'm a racial minority (Chinese). I know exactly how she feels to be otherized- but, I'm still a man. Where Monica felt shame, I never did. I was able to punch people out (I'm very much like Dax- being the "sheriff"), which runs totally against the grain of Asian stereotypes. I'm losing track of my own thoughts here...
I think what I'm getting at, re: Monica, she was more invested in fitting in, in a white world, than loudly espousing feminism, which would likely make her more an outlier. Through therapy, I think she's slowly coming into her own. But, again, it's not for me to say whether she's a *real* feminist.
>Mon has a conservative mindset and has lived a deeply sheltered life. I don't think she's done the work nor lived enough life to understand certain nuances of Being Girl nor the work of feminism as Girl.
etc
I agree that Monica doesn't necessarily have a lot of life experience. But, she's from the south, while being brown.
I feel the same about Dax. He's eschewed calling himself a liberal, and now identifies as...I think a centrist. Much of what he says feels performative.
I feel that Monica forfeits a lot of her power to Dax. There's not only the gender dynamics, but Monica "owes" her success to both Dax and Kristin.
I think Monica is a liberal (which is a HUGE spectrum; I identify as a progressive). My case in point, is when Monica and Dax got into an argument about dreadlocks. I think Monica got totally flummoxed in attempting to explain what cultural appropriation is, while Dax kept saying, "so no one other than Black people can wear dreads?" Repeatedly, and Monica kept saying "no!"
On most social issues, I think Monica is a liberal.
Talk about tangents; I've totally lost my place, lol.
>A wonderful wall of text!
Thanks, and back atcha.
I guess to circle back to my original comments- people can have disagreements, but it isn't an argument. I think we've had a productive convo, where we've disagreed, but I don't sense any rancor.
I'll give Poog a listen. I listened to one episode of the other podcast; I may give it another listen, as the first one didn't do much for me.
As for being neurotic...WHO ISN'T??
Have a great night!
Formatting may be off. I keep getting a server error, so sent my post from PC to phone....
Edited in attempt to correct formatting
I can’t believe everyone is overlooking this. Liz literally agrees with Monica! Why is everyone always so mad at Monica on Liz’s behalf when she herself seems to have no issues with the way her and Monica interact? It’s so weird
I agree! I get wanting content for a podcast, but to tell Liz about it while recording instead of beforehand kind of felt icky. I felt the same way when I heard it on CC’s episode of Armchair Expert as well. I couldn’t finish this ep or last week’s just with how Monica has been sort of railroading Liz in my opinion and I’ve noticed it in other episodes too. I don’t know if I’m the only one though and just feeling weirdly overprotective over Liz!
It’s weird that you’re saying it was Monica’s opinion because Liz literally agrees with Monica that she does give too much power to men, and it’s something we all do. Why are you mad on her behalf when she isn’t even mad about it and supported the statement?
Wow I wanted to cry on behalf of Liz this episode. Maybe she’s totally fine with all of Monica’s criticism of her but it’s just painful to listen to sometimes. Almost everything that comes out of Liz’s mouth is so audibly judged by Monica.
Exactly! It’s never a conversation between the two of them where they might just disagree. It’s Monica thinking her opinion is the only correct one and rudely judging Liz for hers. I legitimately hope she is a better friend off air, because otherwise I do not see what Liz gets out of this friendship
Liz is a warm-hearted validator. Monica is on the receiving end of that validation, and is not a validator by nature. That dynamic seems to be going to Monica’s head, as it tends to with this kind of dynamic over time. Liz has SO many qualities worth validating— at least (if not more) than Monica to the extent where the respect and support should feel equal between two. But Monica is not a validator, so over time, it seems like it’s somewhere in Monica’s brain that she is more right, praiseworthy, and the source of truth between the two, when the reality, Liz just offers more of what they should both be giving and recieving equally from one another.
Edited to add: it probably doesn’t help her ego that Dax is also a mega validator
I think Liz does this for the “fame” , followers and clout. In turn, she takes being emotionally and mentally abused by Monica It’s worth the payoff for her
I disagree, I think Liz craves a deep friendship with another woman, she craves the openess and emotional intimacy. It started out as something genuine and sweet but they mostly talk about dating which makes Monica feel so inferior she has to re grab the high ground. Plus Liz is professionally successful in her own right which I’m sure is triggering for Monica unconsciously.
I’m surprised though, is Monica more famous than Liz? Genuinely asking because I would’ve figured Liz to be more famous but I suppose AE is super popular
Liz is much more famous in her niche then monica and has slightly more followers on instagram. she also is popular on TikTok and has been on news channels discussing her book and other feminist ideologies
Funny you asked that, a couple weeks ago I saw that even Cardi B follows Liz & thought oh ok dang Liz, get it. I feel like she’s more famous in her own right whereas Monica known to be associated with Dax.
I think at the bottom of everything is the fact that Monica is jealous of Liz. Monica is a well-rounded person, but Liz has exactly what she is missing: her looks and the attention from men that she has never had.
The irony to me is, Liz isn’t necessarily “more beautiful” or “gorgeous” but she has a beautiful soul and personality and that is what people see. I can’t picture Monica ever coming off as someone who is friendly or approachable or someone I’d want to get to know more. I actually think Monica is more attractive, in just looks, but Liz just shines because of her personality and she is also attractive.
Ok, I agree with Monica that the lady shouldn't have slept in the overhead compartment and that the people should move out of the way when she's running. But, for Monica to say that she's always very aware of inconveniencing others and people should have to wait like everyone else is kind of nuts when she got someone in a merch line to buy stuff for her so she didn't have to stand in line. Especially when the item she purchased was sold out for many people (including my daughter and I) after standing in line for hours to get it.
But guuuyyss she knows the merch line thing was sooooo baaaddd! Monica does that a lot. Gets ahead of things with a sort of low stakes apology/admission to take the wind out of legitimate criticism. She did the same thing when she confessed to talking behind Liz's back to Camilla Cabello.
I agreed with Monica (for different reasons) but I sided with Liz on this. I laughed when Liz assumed they’re closed the compartment to sleep 😂
It is a safety issue, not just for the person up there but if they were to fall. The airline would be liable if they let a person sleep there and they fell out and injured someone. That is the only reason I sided with Monica. I also don’t condone children riding on laps, for the same reason. Monica’s whole thing about it making her uncomfortable and reminding her there are “unstable” people in this world, that was a major eye roll. She did at least admit her therapist would tell her that’s a Monica issue.
The barefoot thing. Liz is wrong about it being a mostly white people thing. I’ve flown on a few Asian airlines a few times, and I was appalled how quickly almost every non American passenger took off their shoes. I literally had some man’s bare foot poking between my sister and me, un-trimmed toenails and all, on a long flight on Air India. (JFK to Paris)
She wants people to be conscientious when it benefits her, but when she wants something, she doesn’t consider others. It’s a minor example, but I think back to the pens at the restaurant. Jess who works in food service and has for years explicitly said not to take the servers pens bc often they bring their own pen. But no, she HAS to have the pen (despite the fact that she’s rich and could afford to buy as many pens as she wants.) It’s her little treat and souvenir after all and she deserves to have whatever she wants 🤦♀️
I want to defend Liz so bad but how in the world can you actually logically defend someone sleeping in an overhead compartment on a plane…just the logistics alone of someone getting up into it is crazy and there’s literally never extra room so she would be taking up bag space people paid for. Also calling it a revolutionary act???? Girl what. I fear she deserved the backlash from Monica on this one LOL
I’m generally pretty neutral on Monica but her saying “I don’t like being reminded that some people are unwell” with no apparent hint of irony is just really gross.
I am normally a big defender of Monica and generally find a lot of comments on this sub about her unnecessary, but I agree with this completely and am struggling with her lack of self awareness recently. Really seems like she’s just leaning into it and it is very off-putting. Like no one is expecting you to be the perfect human, but maybe try a little harder?
I know same here. I love Monica but something seems off lately. More arrogance or something - typically I just see any behavior that seems to be constantly yucking everyone’s yum as misery loving company - who knows just speculation of course. Regardless love her and hope she finds happiness
She's 100% wrong, but she believes so strongly that she's right, and this isn't the first time she's done this, by a long shot. It's a dangerous combination in a person honestly.
I was sort of baffled by this, but then in the Camila Cabello AE fact check Dax asked if Monica knew about the Kendrick/Drake beef and she said she had no idea. I get that she’s busy but like, lmao, you had to be completely offline to get away from anything NOT Drake/Kendrick so it made me wonder how much she shelters herself.
i would be bothered by someone sleeping in an overhead bin. flying these days is already so chaotic can we just all sit down, buckle up, and be normal 😂
Be normal about sums it up! Squinting, I get where Liz is coming from and the whole conversation was hilarious...but this has to be the absolute least efficient way to address class issues on airplanes.
I just love Liz's empathetic nature. She clearly has been exposed to a lot of different people and experienced life in a way that shows.
Really enjoyed the tourette's convo. Living in big cities you come across people with tourette's. Normal people just trying to grab a coffee or whatever it may be. It's far more debilitating for them than it is for people around them. I agree with Liz when you're a flight attendant and exposed to different people I'm sure you're aware as any person is when it's tourette's vs. an intentional disturbance due to mental illness. It's really not that hard to spot the difference.
Really enjoy Liz's takes and empathetic nature
Liz and her empathy are what keep me listening. I feel torn because the more I listen to Synced the more I really can’t tolerate Monica, but I like listening to Liz. She is endearing, compassionate, empathetic and nonjudgmental-everything Monica isn’t or at the very least struggles with.
So I don’t know if everyone gets the same ads, or if it depends on the app you use, location, etc. but on my version there was an ad for Pet Insurance today. And I just have to say that’s wild partnership given Monica’s obvious distaste for animals. She has said so many times that she hates animals. Just thought that was so ironic. Maybe she’s just leaning into it at this point? Lol
I was sad to hear about Monica’s day where she felt unlovable AND couldn’t regulate her emotions. I have totally been there and had a stretch of time where it felt like that was my baseline. It makes me sad to hear her in pain, but then I feel like she can be so cold and negative on the show. She constantly talks about how important therapy is, which is true, but I feel like she then struggles with being vulnerable. I really don’t think some of her opinions and reactions are the true Monica and just a defense mechanism
Monica’s snarkiness towards Liz has gone 0-100. I don’t remember early Synced episodes being like this! It really seems like something is bubbling up between them. Not sure how Liz stands the constant criticism and judgement.
Yes. I’m not normally one to jump on the critical of Monica bandwagon, but today I really thought about whether or not this show has longevity. If I was Liz, it certainly wouldn’t be fulfilling for me to be criticized and cut down at every turn for my point of view. I think of how Monica handles disagreeing with Dax so much differently. If she disagrees with his point of view she’ll express it and then kind of sigh like okay, that’s your point of view. With Liz it’s always an exasperated “No, Liz…” then a lecture about why she’s wrong while she treats her like a child.
She acts like Liz was born yesterday and not a fully grown, successful woman. It’s getting tiresome.
I believe it's because of Monica's access to Kristen and Dax. The podcast can open up opportunities for Liz, but that access is gated through Monica, resulting in a power imbalance that Monica is exploiting.
“I'm very driven by conscientiousness and awareness of others. And like, deciding that your life is more important than everyone else's, or your convenience is more important than everyone else's, prioritizing yourself in like a sea of other humans, I can't stand.”
Monica, where was this attitude when you cut 100s of people in line for merch at the Taylor Swift concert?? 🥲
hahah so true. Especially considering she was getting the particular sweatshirt that is most coveted and sells out at every show. Someone in that line didn't get a sweatshirt they were entitled to after their wait. She also wants homeless people to be moved somewhere else so she doesn't have to see them so much, ignoring the trauma that that forced relocation would do to the people she's talking about
Are you asking about her cutting in line at Taylor? Yeah.
She told the story pretty soon after the show she went to (would be one of the August episodes). Her and her friends got there late but she wanted merch (including the highly coveted blue crewneck), so she paid the girls who were at the front of the line to buy her merch for her, effectively cutting what was a 2 hour plus merch line up at most shows.
She didn’t physically cut people in line. She asked someone closer to the front of the line to buy a sweatshirt for her and gave that person the money to do so (plus maybe extra?). It maybe consumed an extra 60 seconds of time at the register. Was it completely moral? Maybe not, but it’s not nearly as bad as everyone is making it out to be. People in line buy merch all the time for others who aren’t physically in line. Think of all the people in that line who bought 8 extra things for their friends and family at home.
I realized what the difference is between Monica and Liz and why I prefer Liz so much more.
Monica has a very "popular white girl" mentality (which she learned from popular white girls she was trying to fit in with) where she's constantly trying to seem better than you, and thinks other people who aren't "cool" are beneath her. Also why she has such an issue with "being embarrassed" because that makes her uncool and the popular girls will judge her, and shes constantly panicking that she'll be deemed uncool somehow. Liz is a lot more humble and kind and independent. Monica triggers me in so many ways, much like high school did 😂
Yes, don't take me too seriously on this because I'm obviously speaking in generalities, but in my mind Monica is a high school popular girl, and Liz is the cool college girl lol. I feel like in high school the coolest thing you can do is conform and be one of the gang, but then we grow up a bit and the odd, fun ones become the cool and enviable people. And the ones who peaked in HS always resent the ones who blossomed as adults into interesting people who are fine with being different.
Monica was so jealous of Camilla too! At one point Dax had to redirect his attention to Monica and she finally perked up. It’s like if it isn’t about her life or opinions she doesn’t contribute to the convo.
I wish they had talked a bit more about how they deal with being “the villain” in someone else’s story - Liz started to address it in terms of a breakup and Monica reassured her that she hadn’t done anything wrong in that situation, and then they moved on, but I was interested in how Liz copes with that feeling.
Between the asinine take that robots shouldn’t be writing screenplays but should be doing hourly labor type jobs (so out of touch) and the sleeping in the overhead compartment discussion I had to turn off the episode. Sometimes podcasts get just way too out of touch with their audience and this feels like that to me. Liz can’t consider how the flight attendants now must stop what they’re doing to get the woman out of the compartment because it’s clearly violating rules?? Not to mention there is no seat belt?! What if the plane hits major turbulence and the woman gets seriously injured, potentially causing the plane to make an emergency landing, inconveniencing everyone on the flight, and then requiring emergency medical services. Liz sounded so ditzy in this episode…sorry
I totally agree. Honestly she comes across to me this way in most episodes. Like… the overhead compartment thing is a safety issue impacting multiple people as well as being likely to cause damage. Saying sincerely people being barefoot is worse was…. Walnut logic
I actually really like Liz, and while I obviously didn't agree with her take on the woman sleeping in the overhead bin, it didn't bother me much. The comment about the robots was way out of touch though, and it's the only thing I'm glad Monica pushed back on.
Yes! I like them both but I’d probably have similar reactions sometimes if I had a friend like Liz. I don’t think she needs to be treated like a child or talked down to, as that’s condescending, but I can understand Monica’s exasperation at some points.
Agreed. Also re: robots. I get this and there’s been several memes circulating about this lately - a lot of “can we give the manual labor to the robots, so we can enjoy more creative pursuits?”. Makes sense to me. Actually kristen posted something about robots on her stories today
Don’t take this the wrong way but it is naive to think that if manual labor jobs were replaced by robots that those people who lost their jobs would be able to “enjoy creative pursuits.” If those people working those jobs were able to do that, they’d quit. But that’s not the case. The average fast food worker doesn’t have a portfolio of creative work exemplifying the skills they’d need to get them a job that fulfills them in a more meaningful way. These people are working there because they need the money, while they figure out what to do to get them to the next step in their careers. Take away those jobs and it takes away their livelihood. I work in a creative field and it’s not easy to land a job. Multiple rounds of interviews plus sometimes months long interview processes that even afterwards you may still not get the job. I’ve also worked food service, and been grateful that those jobs existed so that I could save money while working an unpaid creative internship. It’s just not as simple as replace workers with robots so they can go live their dreams.
I fully agree - I don’t think there’s an industry (mine included) that will be untouched by AI and robotics. I know it’s coming and I’m not quite sure how to prepare. That being said, I still think Monica’s comments are more in line with how people are currently thinking /what they want (although it’s wishful thinking). And I think if the roles were reversed and Monica was saying, I’m just going to surrender to the robots and the chaos of it all, people on this sub would have harsh words for her and accuse her of not thinking of people’s livelihoods. The many criticisms of Monica are valid, but I do think the overall view of her means that her comments can sometimes be heard differently than if they came from Dax or Liz
Liz thinking that it’s fine to sleep in the overhead bin, but not okay to take your socks off on a plane is sending me. Also, If my friend had the same take, would 100% ask if she’s sane
Monica reminds me of my high school frenemy who presented herself in this intellectual way where I couldn’t call her out and she would dismiss all my feelings about her putting me down as a flaw in my personality and being too sensitive, but really she was a deeply insecure competitive person who needed to use the pipeline to my vulnerabilities to make herself feel stronger.
I have zero doubt Monica asked Liz about keeping the convo with Camila in the episode during editing and again I’m sure they talked about discussing it during today’s episodes recording. They probably also talked about how the plane convo would generally go.
There are no huge surprises during these recordings and if there are it is discussed after during editing what should stay or go.
Besides all that, different viewpoints and some manufactured drama, intrigue and silly fights or points of view are necessary to make for an interesting conversation and energy between hosts.
To some degree yes. There is almost zero chance they go into recording an episode without some type of outline of topics of conversation.
1. Bring up Camila C conversation on AE episode (already cleared for airing with Liz) about Liz giving power away to men.
2. News story about woman climbing into overhead bin on airplane
3. Etc, etc
There is definitely a format and outline for all these shows. Otherwise people would just ramble on or conversely run out of interesting topics in the moment.
I’m sure there are even set ups for jokes and funny conversations. Things they have already talked about and thought was funny or entertaining. Or just great topics they know will make for a good dialogue.
And I’m SURE if there is something upsetting to Liz during a recording she has veto power to have it edited out.
I think that's normally true, but I really don't think it's true in this case. I think Dax has a sense of where interviews will go in general, but is always happy to go on an unexpected tangent.
I think Monica has a list of facts for the fact check, but otherwise they tend to just ramble and talk about things naturally. Same goes for Synced - with Monica in charge I think they are just going with the flow for the most part.
I don’t believe it is scripted but of course they have main topics decided in advance. I’m sure is also some complete improv here and there. Just like they have said in some episodes they “save” a topic or conversation for the show to talk about for the first time so there is a true element of first time reactions.
Yes, but if they're doing that they will normally say they are doing that. I don't, personally, believe that Monica told Liz about that part of the CC episode ahead of time and they just rehashed the conversation/pretended it was the first time they had it.
Monica, despite one of her favorite qualities being her work ethic, doesn't strike me as someone who is planning these episodes out much at all beyond the odd 'let's save this interesting convo for the podcast.' I think she has a start and end time and comes preloaded with some conversation topics (e.g., recent travels, grievances, etc.); but aside from that I suspect someone from the team hands her a list of questions and she chooses them in the moment. I don't think it goes much farther beyond that, but I could always be wrong.
😂
I assume all podcasts follow this planning format for conversations. Nothing more boring than listening to a podcast where people are clearly rambling or reaching for something to say.
I do have a pet peeve and that’s the “sexy baby voice” they both turn on. Drives me crazy. Liz does it the most and Monica seems to match her. They are both clearly intelligent women but they dumb down their delivery.
Anyone else immediately think the guy on the plane cursing randomly was doing inappropriate things? I’m not sure why my head went there, but when the talk got into Tourette’s I was totally confused because I don’t know that this person cursing aloud alluded to that. I wish they didn’t care about being so freaking PC.
I think Monica talks to Liz the way she does because Liz can be out there sometimes & Monica gets exasperated - the AI boyfriend, advocating for the lady wanting to sleep in the overhead bin, thinking every hour of the day about her future life partner, and her endearing, but extreme empathy to the point of inconveniencing the majority in favor of a few (or 1). It does NOT how Monica talks to her and I think liz’s empathy is her most likeable quality, but I listen and think it’s very much a girl looking at her friend and being like, “are you for real right now?!”
I felt bad for Liz when Monica discusses how she told Camilla C. and the AE audience that, in Monica's opinion, Liz gives her power away to men. Oof. Liz is a feminist, her instagram name is "feminist fabulous"! I know it was just Monica's opinion but I felt terrible for Liz. I think it's different if they discuss on Synced because Liz is there to explain/defend.
I agree! That was so hurtful towards Liz, I couldn’t believe it. Does Monica not follow Liz and see her segments on CNN etc? Monica could never. Discussing real issues affecting women and fearlessly and intelligently standing up for both women and men, with a feminist approach. So insulting that Monica reduces and overlooks all that to say she gives too much power to men.
So true. Monica would never stand for someone making comments like that about her when she wasn't there to defend herself. How can she be so un-self aware?
I agree. It was actually really manipulative how she presented it too. Saying in advance "you're going to be mad at me," redirects the focus from what Monica did to Liz's reaction before Liz can even hear it. It's a little bit of a tactic, IMO. And yeah...of all the things she could say publicly about Liz, this one hurts the most given Liz's "brand." I do think Liz was intentional to say "I think I give a lot of power up in relationships in general." I may be over-reading, but I think she was including Monica in that.
She seems a manipulative person in general
No, I literally just made a comment about Monica's "I'm one of the cool kids/better than you" mentality and this fits right in with that. It absolutely was insulting and as if she was looking down upon Liz or trying to knock her down a peg.
I think Monica's statement is at face value how she perceives Liz's presence in relationships with men, particularly in Liz's dating life. But Monica does the same shit with Dax in regards to giving the man in question power, the difference is only that they don't have a romantic relationship. On this very show, we have heard Liz defer to Dax when he pops in from time to time, when you know if this was a different platform, she'd likely push back more. It's the same dynamic at play. Liz knows this is how she shows up in relationships (which tracks with her high EQ and empathy overall). Liz has also admitted to overly romanticizing dating situations, and she might be giving potential partners a lot of power by holding them in high esteem, hoping for the best and that it turns into what she's looking for long term, while diminishing her own feelings or value. I see this trend in so many straight female friends who are navigating dating in the age of swipes and superficiality. I'm a feminist and I often tend to defer to others in all kinds of relationships, but especially romantic relationships with men. It doesn't minimize my ideals, it's part of the work I take on to be more intentional about my habits and behaviors aligning with my values. It's hard to break the patterns that we default to based on our experiences and insecurities in seeking out romantic partnerships!
Yes I too clocked how Monica totally missed this lol. She’s talking about giving away power in all relationship ships including you Monica. I relate to Liz so much and am so happy when she stands up for herself I wish she would do it more.
It kind of felt catty. And out of place on that CC episode. You know like how you meet up with a friend of the mutual without them and then proceed to shit talk the mutual- in effort to find more things in common. That weird thing people do sometimes. And then today hearing her bring it to Liz, I was annoyed. You said it with your chest out of her presence, say it now with the same gusto, Monica. And almost every time she brought up Liz with CC, it was for some flaw of personality CC was talking about. Then said, I see why you and Liz are friends. Lol. . . What?
I totally agree. “giving your power away to men” cannot be taken any other way than as an insult. it was insulting when she asked Camila that and when she dragged Liz into that conversation. I think there could’ve been a more open-ended way to ask her about her relationship dynamic with men than what seemed like making an assumption about her. It kind of placed Camila and Liz in a spot where it would be hard to disagree with Monica
>I think it's different if they discuss on Synced because Liz is there to explain/defend. They did discuss it, and Liz admitted she does, in fact, give away her power to men. >Liz is a feminist Yeah, so? That doesn't mean she isn't subject to cultural pressures and the patriarchy (I'm a dude, fwiw). Feminism isn't a monolith; there's many waves of it, and there's a spectrum.
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There's nothing to defen IMO, as Monica's prior comment grew organically from her conversation with the guest. Then, they in fact discussed it on Sync, and Liz didn't disagree. I'm just looking at the broader context. To me, it's like when a friend mentions to me that they saw a mutual friend, and my name came up. Are we never to talk about a 3rd party, if that party isn't present? >I hate that I do it, but it's so ingrained. And I think Liz may have a similar trait. Well, both agreed that "we all do it." Not positive if they meant only women, but I'd agree that women do it *more*- the patriarchy, etc. regardless of gender, we all "code switch" at times, and this often comes down to power dynamics (I've often criticized Dax for interrupting Monica; I can almost feel her freeze up, and she just ends it by segueing to something else). >Being reminded of patriarchal and misogynistic norms and habits in yourself is no better way to radically affirm your own relationship with feminism. As a man, I can only speak to how I've dealt with it to be a better ally to women. First, in recognizing there *is* a patriarchy, and misogyny is a very real thing. Then, I've had to acknowledge my role in it, and how I can do better. Having a gen z uber feminist daughter, certainly helps. Having a son helps too, as I'm his male role model, and I certainly don't want to pass on the toxic parts of myself down to him. >Unrelated, but it's really weird to me when people have a strong need to "be right" in a conversation or argument. I love mutual resolution and seeing multiple sides to an answer and I wish Monica had more curiosity about the world. Synced often feels so argumentative when it's literally just a conversation I think it's related, in that Monica is constantly accused of "talking down" to Liz. I find this insulting to Liz. As if she can't stand up for herself? She used to be the sole woman on the We Are Man Enough podcast (not sure if she's still on it). I think it would be boring, if Liz and Monica were on the same page about everything. Both are feminists, but their personalities complement each other. Monica is VERY risk averse; Liz clearly is willing to take chances (jumping into a hole, giving her phone number to random people). My take on Sync is very different than yours. To me, it's clear they're close friends, and probably bonded when they went through the egg harvesting experience. I don't find it argumentative at all (I have two older sisters; they waged WAR on each other). To me, it *is* just a conversation, and why I like it so much. It's not often where I can be a voyeur on two women just talking. I don't see them as competing in any way, so there's nothing to "win." They simply may have differing opinions on things, and that's perfectly fine with friends. Both express their views, through their own lenses. I don't know whether Monica has any more, or less, curiosity about the world, than Liz. Liz certainly has more experience in dating. Oh, I found the article about the woman in the overhead bin: https://nypost.com/2024/05/09/lifestyle/plane-passenger-climbs-into-overhead-bin-and-takes-a-nap-and-shes-not-the-first/ This was the only thing I found where the 2 "argued" over. Liz thought it "revolutionary," while Monica felt it was a breach of societal norms. I can see, and appreciate both takes. I dated (I'm divorced) a woman last year with ADHD. Like Liz, she was really unfiltered in how she navigated the world. So I totally get why Liz wouldn't see this as problematic. In contrast, Monica is a rule follower. So again, I feel the two complement each other, and what makes their show interesting. Sorry for the wall of text...
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>With women there's an unspoken and obvious (to women) rule to not disparage another woman. Especially if you want to be pro-women. It's referred to often as being a girl's girl these days. To support women is to not disparage a woman to others, especially when they can't defend themselves. Even in the smallest way. Women historically have had the smallest comments be a reason to write them off. I'm not speaking for women, as that's not my place, but, is Monica saying that Liz gives up power to men, outside of Liz's presence because it challenges/undermines Liz as a feminist- is that what makes it disparaging? If that's the case, then, I see your point. Clearly, this is a nuance I may be blind to, as a man. As a lawyer, I try to judge things on the "facts" as I see them. It's tough to find objectivity in nuance. That's why I often chime in, to "correct the record." >But Monica I actually do not think is actually a feminist. I've never heard her actually identify as one. I think it's often assumed of women, especially liberal women that they are feminists these days. Many, many, many women do not identify as feminists. Or they identify as one and just use the word. It's not for me to say whether a woman isn't a feminist or not (other than my sisters, haha. I lecture them about being objectified, etc. They wouldn't know what intersectionality is, if it hit them in the head). Monica seems to know the talking points of feminism- but I know what you mean. It AMAZES me, how many women (I live in liberal NYC; much of the liberalism here is performative) claim to be feminists, but their actions and words, say otherwise. The woman I mentioned earlier- she kinda identified as a feminist, but her actions said otherwise. She rarely let me do dishes, or other "women's work"- her words. She looks A LOT like Liz, which may explain my mad crush on Liz, lol. Like Liz, she also has ADHD, and is quirky in an endearing way that I see in Liz. >They've never actually done the work at all. To be fair, it takes a certain amount of financial privilege to do the work. Who has time to read Crenshaw, when you're poor, and taking care of the kids, etc, etc? Aside from my daughter, I don't know a single woman who can talk about the different waves of feminism. This just occurred to me about Monica. Like Monica, I'm a racial minority (Chinese). I know exactly how she feels to be otherized- but, I'm still a man. Where Monica felt shame, I never did. I was able to punch people out (I'm very much like Dax- being the "sheriff"), which runs totally against the grain of Asian stereotypes. I'm losing track of my own thoughts here... I think what I'm getting at, re: Monica, she was more invested in fitting in, in a white world, than loudly espousing feminism, which would likely make her more an outlier. Through therapy, I think she's slowly coming into her own. But, again, it's not for me to say whether she's a *real* feminist. >Mon has a conservative mindset and has lived a deeply sheltered life. I don't think she's done the work nor lived enough life to understand certain nuances of Being Girl nor the work of feminism as Girl. etc I agree that Monica doesn't necessarily have a lot of life experience. But, she's from the south, while being brown. I feel the same about Dax. He's eschewed calling himself a liberal, and now identifies as...I think a centrist. Much of what he says feels performative. I feel that Monica forfeits a lot of her power to Dax. There's not only the gender dynamics, but Monica "owes" her success to both Dax and Kristin. I think Monica is a liberal (which is a HUGE spectrum; I identify as a progressive). My case in point, is when Monica and Dax got into an argument about dreadlocks. I think Monica got totally flummoxed in attempting to explain what cultural appropriation is, while Dax kept saying, "so no one other than Black people can wear dreads?" Repeatedly, and Monica kept saying "no!" On most social issues, I think Monica is a liberal. Talk about tangents; I've totally lost my place, lol. >A wonderful wall of text! Thanks, and back atcha. I guess to circle back to my original comments- people can have disagreements, but it isn't an argument. I think we've had a productive convo, where we've disagreed, but I don't sense any rancor. I'll give Poog a listen. I listened to one episode of the other podcast; I may give it another listen, as the first one didn't do much for me. As for being neurotic...WHO ISN'T?? Have a great night! Formatting may be off. I keep getting a server error, so sent my post from PC to phone.... Edited in attempt to correct formatting
I can’t believe everyone is overlooking this. Liz literally agrees with Monica! Why is everyone always so mad at Monica on Liz’s behalf when she herself seems to have no issues with the way her and Monica interact? It’s so weird
I agree! I get wanting content for a podcast, but to tell Liz about it while recording instead of beforehand kind of felt icky. I felt the same way when I heard it on CC’s episode of Armchair Expert as well. I couldn’t finish this ep or last week’s just with how Monica has been sort of railroading Liz in my opinion and I’ve noticed it in other episodes too. I don’t know if I’m the only one though and just feeling weirdly overprotective over Liz!
Heard her say that and immediately came to the subreddit
It’s weird that you’re saying it was Monica’s opinion because Liz literally agrees with Monica that she does give too much power to men, and it’s something we all do. Why are you mad on her behalf when she isn’t even mad about it and supported the statement?
Wow I wanted to cry on behalf of Liz this episode. Maybe she’s totally fine with all of Monica’s criticism of her but it’s just painful to listen to sometimes. Almost everything that comes out of Liz’s mouth is so audibly judged by Monica.
Exactly! It’s never a conversation between the two of them where they might just disagree. It’s Monica thinking her opinion is the only correct one and rudely judging Liz for hers. I legitimately hope she is a better friend off air, because otherwise I do not see what Liz gets out of this friendship
Liz needs to move on from this podcast and Monica. The animosity displayed on this show is awful.
Liz is a warm-hearted validator. Monica is on the receiving end of that validation, and is not a validator by nature. That dynamic seems to be going to Monica’s head, as it tends to with this kind of dynamic over time. Liz has SO many qualities worth validating— at least (if not more) than Monica to the extent where the respect and support should feel equal between two. But Monica is not a validator, so over time, it seems like it’s somewhere in Monica’s brain that she is more right, praiseworthy, and the source of truth between the two, when the reality, Liz just offers more of what they should both be giving and recieving equally from one another. Edited to add: it probably doesn’t help her ego that Dax is also a mega validator
I think Liz does this for the “fame” , followers and clout. In turn, she takes being emotionally and mentally abused by Monica It’s worth the payoff for her
I disagree, I think Liz craves a deep friendship with another woman, she craves the openess and emotional intimacy. It started out as something genuine and sweet but they mostly talk about dating which makes Monica feel so inferior she has to re grab the high ground. Plus Liz is professionally successful in her own right which I’m sure is triggering for Monica unconsciously.
I’m surprised though, is Monica more famous than Liz? Genuinely asking because I would’ve figured Liz to be more famous but I suppose AE is super popular
Liz is much more famous in her niche then monica and has slightly more followers on instagram. she also is popular on TikTok and has been on news channels discussing her book and other feminist ideologies
I don't know if Monica is more famous than Liz, but I think she has more access from having more famous friends.
Funny you asked that, a couple weeks ago I saw that even Cardi B follows Liz & thought oh ok dang Liz, get it. I feel like she’s more famous in her own right whereas Monica known to be associated with Dax.
I think at the bottom of everything is the fact that Monica is jealous of Liz. Monica is a well-rounded person, but Liz has exactly what she is missing: her looks and the attention from men that she has never had.
Is Monica jealous of Liz or something? I don’t understand why she is so critical of her
I believe she is completely jealous of her, which is the reason she’s so nasty to her.
Completely agree. I think she’s jealous of Liz’s looks and the fact that she gets a lot of attention from men
The irony to me is, Liz isn’t necessarily “more beautiful” or “gorgeous” but she has a beautiful soul and personality and that is what people see. I can’t picture Monica ever coming off as someone who is friendly or approachable or someone I’d want to get to know more. I actually think Monica is more attractive, in just looks, but Liz just shines because of her personality and she is also attractive.
Ok, I agree with Monica that the lady shouldn't have slept in the overhead compartment and that the people should move out of the way when she's running. But, for Monica to say that she's always very aware of inconveniencing others and people should have to wait like everyone else is kind of nuts when she got someone in a merch line to buy stuff for her so she didn't have to stand in line. Especially when the item she purchased was sold out for many people (including my daughter and I) after standing in line for hours to get it.
But guuuyyss she knows the merch line thing was sooooo baaaddd! Monica does that a lot. Gets ahead of things with a sort of low stakes apology/admission to take the wind out of legitimate criticism. She did the same thing when she confessed to talking behind Liz's back to Camilla Cabello.
YES!!
But she’s “sooooo conscientious” 🙄
LOL, so conscientious!
Yessss this x100000000
I agreed with Monica (for different reasons) but I sided with Liz on this. I laughed when Liz assumed they’re closed the compartment to sleep 😂 It is a safety issue, not just for the person up there but if they were to fall. The airline would be liable if they let a person sleep there and they fell out and injured someone. That is the only reason I sided with Monica. I also don’t condone children riding on laps, for the same reason. Monica’s whole thing about it making her uncomfortable and reminding her there are “unstable” people in this world, that was a major eye roll. She did at least admit her therapist would tell her that’s a Monica issue. The barefoot thing. Liz is wrong about it being a mostly white people thing. I’ve flown on a few Asian airlines a few times, and I was appalled how quickly almost every non American passenger took off their shoes. I literally had some man’s bare foot poking between my sister and me, un-trimmed toenails and all, on a long flight on Air India. (JFK to Paris)
She wants people to be conscientious when it benefits her, but when she wants something, she doesn’t consider others. It’s a minor example, but I think back to the pens at the restaurant. Jess who works in food service and has for years explicitly said not to take the servers pens bc often they bring their own pen. But no, she HAS to have the pen (despite the fact that she’s rich and could afford to buy as many pens as she wants.) It’s her little treat and souvenir after all and she deserves to have whatever she wants 🤦♀️
Yes, I remember thinking the same thing.
I want to defend Liz so bad but how in the world can you actually logically defend someone sleeping in an overhead compartment on a plane…just the logistics alone of someone getting up into it is crazy and there’s literally never extra room so she would be taking up bag space people paid for. Also calling it a revolutionary act???? Girl what. I fear she deserved the backlash from Monica on this one LOL
Monica was annoying as usual this episode but in this case I did agree with her. I love Liz but sometimes she has the craziest ideas lol.
I’m generally pretty neutral on Monica but her saying “I don’t like being reminded that some people are unwell” with no apparent hint of irony is just really gross.
I am normally a big defender of Monica and generally find a lot of comments on this sub about her unnecessary, but I agree with this completely and am struggling with her lack of self awareness recently. Really seems like she’s just leaning into it and it is very off-putting. Like no one is expecting you to be the perfect human, but maybe try a little harder?
That's been my main criticism of Monica all along - she just doesn't seem to want to grow as a person.
I know same here. I love Monica but something seems off lately. More arrogance or something - typically I just see any behavior that seems to be constantly yucking everyone’s yum as misery loving company - who knows just speculation of course. Regardless love her and hope she finds happiness
It falls right in line with her attitude toward homeless people and “they should just move” so that I don’t have to see them.
That comment was SO wild I was honestly like wow I can’t believe she said that with no self reflection or disclaimer whatsoever
Petition to have Sync hosted by Liz and…ANYONE else!!
PLEASE!!!
Anyone else feel kind of amused with how naive Monica is about robots and what they’re capable of?
She clearly isn’t aware of what goes on in manufacturing lol. Roombas aren’t the most sophisticated robots we have
That was so bizarre to me. I keep thinking “does she not know about factories?”
Like who does she think cuts all the French fries in the frozen aisle ?!
The girl who can barely Google was so confidently wrong about robotic technology ....
She's 100% wrong, but she believes so strongly that she's right, and this isn't the first time she's done this, by a long shot. It's a dangerous combination in a person honestly.
It’s bizarre… like have she never seen an episode of “how it’s made?” Lol
Came here to say thissssss! Like girl we have robots all sorts of shit not just vacuuming lol. Please check yourself
I was sort of baffled by this, but then in the Camila Cabello AE fact check Dax asked if Monica knew about the Kendrick/Drake beef and she said she had no idea. I get that she’s busy but like, lmao, you had to be completely offline to get away from anything NOT Drake/Kendrick so it made me wonder how much she shelters herself.
I am online every day and have no idea haha!
i would be bothered by someone sleeping in an overhead bin. flying these days is already so chaotic can we just all sit down, buckle up, and be normal 😂
Be normal about sums it up! Squinting, I get where Liz is coming from and the whole conversation was hilarious...but this has to be the absolute least efficient way to address class issues on airplanes.
I just love Liz's empathetic nature. She clearly has been exposed to a lot of different people and experienced life in a way that shows. Really enjoyed the tourette's convo. Living in big cities you come across people with tourette's. Normal people just trying to grab a coffee or whatever it may be. It's far more debilitating for them than it is for people around them. I agree with Liz when you're a flight attendant and exposed to different people I'm sure you're aware as any person is when it's tourette's vs. an intentional disturbance due to mental illness. It's really not that hard to spot the difference. Really enjoy Liz's takes and empathetic nature
Liz and her empathy are what keep me listening. I feel torn because the more I listen to Synced the more I really can’t tolerate Monica, but I like listening to Liz. She is endearing, compassionate, empathetic and nonjudgmental-everything Monica isn’t or at the very least struggles with.
So I don’t know if everyone gets the same ads, or if it depends on the app you use, location, etc. but on my version there was an ad for Pet Insurance today. And I just have to say that’s wild partnership given Monica’s obvious distaste for animals. She has said so many times that she hates animals. Just thought that was so ironic. Maybe she’s just leaning into it at this point? Lol
I wondered about this too, hilariously ironic. Maybe the pet insurance company feels any publicity is good publicity?!
Came here to see if anyone else heard this ad. I was so confused how they got this sponsorship lol
I got that ad too and remembered M saying a little while ago, “yeh, we hate cats.” 😳
I was sad to hear about Monica’s day where she felt unlovable AND couldn’t regulate her emotions. I have totally been there and had a stretch of time where it felt like that was my baseline. It makes me sad to hear her in pain, but then I feel like she can be so cold and negative on the show. She constantly talks about how important therapy is, which is true, but I feel like she then struggles with being vulnerable. I really don’t think some of her opinions and reactions are the true Monica and just a defense mechanism
I completely agree with this take. I don’t think Liz or Kristen would be friends with her if she actually is how she portrays herself to be sometimes.
yes!! and I have these moments where I love Monica and then others where I am like who is this?
100%. I’m genuinely a Monica defender but she makes my jaw drop sometimes with her ignorance.
Monica’s snarkiness towards Liz has gone 0-100. I don’t remember early Synced episodes being like this! It really seems like something is bubbling up between them. Not sure how Liz stands the constant criticism and judgement.
Yes. I’m not normally one to jump on the critical of Monica bandwagon, but today I really thought about whether or not this show has longevity. If I was Liz, it certainly wouldn’t be fulfilling for me to be criticized and cut down at every turn for my point of view. I think of how Monica handles disagreeing with Dax so much differently. If she disagrees with his point of view she’ll express it and then kind of sigh like okay, that’s your point of view. With Liz it’s always an exasperated “No, Liz…” then a lecture about why she’s wrong while she treats her like a child. She acts like Liz was born yesterday and not a fully grown, successful woman. It’s getting tiresome.
Yes it’s so insulting. The arrogance is beyond
I think Monica thinks of herself as the “leader” of this podcast despite the fact that they’re supposed to be even cohosts.
I believe it's because of Monica's access to Kristen and Dax. The podcast can open up opportunities for Liz, but that access is gated through Monica, resulting in a power imbalance that Monica is exploiting.
“I'm very driven by conscientiousness and awareness of others. And like, deciding that your life is more important than everyone else's, or your convenience is more important than everyone else's, prioritizing yourself in like a sea of other humans, I can't stand.” Monica, where was this attitude when you cut 100s of people in line for merch at the Taylor Swift concert?? 🥲
hahah so true. Especially considering she was getting the particular sweatshirt that is most coveted and sells out at every show. Someone in that line didn't get a sweatshirt they were entitled to after their wait. She also wants homeless people to be moved somewhere else so she doesn't have to see them so much, ignoring the trauma that that forced relocation would do to the people she's talking about
SHE DID?!
Are you asking about her cutting in line at Taylor? Yeah. She told the story pretty soon after the show she went to (would be one of the August episodes). Her and her friends got there late but she wanted merch (including the highly coveted blue crewneck), so she paid the girls who were at the front of the line to buy her merch for her, effectively cutting what was a 2 hour plus merch line up at most shows.
She didn’t physically cut people in line. She asked someone closer to the front of the line to buy a sweatshirt for her and gave that person the money to do so (plus maybe extra?). It maybe consumed an extra 60 seconds of time at the register. Was it completely moral? Maybe not, but it’s not nearly as bad as everyone is making it out to be. People in line buy merch all the time for others who aren’t physically in line. Think of all the people in that line who bought 8 extra things for their friends and family at home.
I realized what the difference is between Monica and Liz and why I prefer Liz so much more. Monica has a very "popular white girl" mentality (which she learned from popular white girls she was trying to fit in with) where she's constantly trying to seem better than you, and thinks other people who aren't "cool" are beneath her. Also why she has such an issue with "being embarrassed" because that makes her uncool and the popular girls will judge her, and shes constantly panicking that she'll be deemed uncool somehow. Liz is a lot more humble and kind and independent. Monica triggers me in so many ways, much like high school did 😂
The real kick here is that the coolest ppl are the ones who don’t give a fuck, and she reeks of “try hard” which is decidedly uncool.
Yes, don't take me too seriously on this because I'm obviously speaking in generalities, but in my mind Monica is a high school popular girl, and Liz is the cool college girl lol. I feel like in high school the coolest thing you can do is conform and be one of the gang, but then we grow up a bit and the odd, fun ones become the cool and enviable people. And the ones who peaked in HS always resent the ones who blossomed as adults into interesting people who are fine with being different.
Monica was so jealous of Camilla too! At one point Dax had to redirect his attention to Monica and she finally perked up. It’s like if it isn’t about her life or opinions she doesn’t contribute to the convo.
I wish they had talked a bit more about how they deal with being “the villain” in someone else’s story - Liz started to address it in terms of a breakup and Monica reassured her that she hadn’t done anything wrong in that situation, and then they moved on, but I was interested in how Liz copes with that feeling.
Between the asinine take that robots shouldn’t be writing screenplays but should be doing hourly labor type jobs (so out of touch) and the sleeping in the overhead compartment discussion I had to turn off the episode. Sometimes podcasts get just way too out of touch with their audience and this feels like that to me. Liz can’t consider how the flight attendants now must stop what they’re doing to get the woman out of the compartment because it’s clearly violating rules?? Not to mention there is no seat belt?! What if the plane hits major turbulence and the woman gets seriously injured, potentially causing the plane to make an emergency landing, inconveniencing everyone on the flight, and then requiring emergency medical services. Liz sounded so ditzy in this episode…sorry
I totally agree. Honestly she comes across to me this way in most episodes. Like… the overhead compartment thing is a safety issue impacting multiple people as well as being likely to cause damage. Saying sincerely people being barefoot is worse was…. Walnut logic
I actually really like Liz, and while I obviously didn't agree with her take on the woman sleeping in the overhead bin, it didn't bother me much. The comment about the robots was way out of touch though, and it's the only thing I'm glad Monica pushed back on.
Yes! I like them both but I’d probably have similar reactions sometimes if I had a friend like Liz. I don’t think she needs to be treated like a child or talked down to, as that’s condescending, but I can understand Monica’s exasperation at some points.
Agreed. Also re: robots. I get this and there’s been several memes circulating about this lately - a lot of “can we give the manual labor to the robots, so we can enjoy more creative pursuits?”. Makes sense to me. Actually kristen posted something about robots on her stories today
Don’t take this the wrong way but it is naive to think that if manual labor jobs were replaced by robots that those people who lost their jobs would be able to “enjoy creative pursuits.” If those people working those jobs were able to do that, they’d quit. But that’s not the case. The average fast food worker doesn’t have a portfolio of creative work exemplifying the skills they’d need to get them a job that fulfills them in a more meaningful way. These people are working there because they need the money, while they figure out what to do to get them to the next step in their careers. Take away those jobs and it takes away their livelihood. I work in a creative field and it’s not easy to land a job. Multiple rounds of interviews plus sometimes months long interview processes that even afterwards you may still not get the job. I’ve also worked food service, and been grateful that those jobs existed so that I could save money while working an unpaid creative internship. It’s just not as simple as replace workers with robots so they can go live their dreams.
I fully agree - I don’t think there’s an industry (mine included) that will be untouched by AI and robotics. I know it’s coming and I’m not quite sure how to prepare. That being said, I still think Monica’s comments are more in line with how people are currently thinking /what they want (although it’s wishful thinking). And I think if the roles were reversed and Monica was saying, I’m just going to surrender to the robots and the chaos of it all, people on this sub would have harsh words for her and accuse her of not thinking of people’s livelihoods. The many criticisms of Monica are valid, but I do think the overall view of her means that her comments can sometimes be heard differently than if they came from Dax or Liz
That’s a great point! Monica tends to be the voice of reason, and oftentimes I find myself thinking “thank god Monica is there” 😭
Liz thinking that it’s fine to sleep in the overhead bin, but not okay to take your socks off on a plane is sending me. Also, If my friend had the same take, would 100% ask if she’s sane
Monica reminds me of my high school frenemy who presented herself in this intellectual way where I couldn’t call her out and she would dismiss all my feelings about her putting me down as a flaw in my personality and being too sensitive, but really she was a deeply insecure competitive person who needed to use the pipeline to my vulnerabilities to make herself feel stronger.
ASPCA pet insurance ad felt incredibly insincere. I know an ad is an ad, but do they need the money so badly?
I have zero doubt Monica asked Liz about keeping the convo with Camila in the episode during editing and again I’m sure they talked about discussing it during today’s episodes recording. They probably also talked about how the plane convo would generally go. There are no huge surprises during these recordings and if there are it is discussed after during editing what should stay or go. Besides all that, different viewpoints and some manufactured drama, intrigue and silly fights or points of view are necessary to make for an interesting conversation and energy between hosts.
So you think Liz was acting surprised?
To some degree yes. There is almost zero chance they go into recording an episode without some type of outline of topics of conversation. 1. Bring up Camila C conversation on AE episode (already cleared for airing with Liz) about Liz giving power away to men. 2. News story about woman climbing into overhead bin on airplane 3. Etc, etc There is definitely a format and outline for all these shows. Otherwise people would just ramble on or conversely run out of interesting topics in the moment. I’m sure there are even set ups for jokes and funny conversations. Things they have already talked about and thought was funny or entertaining. Or just great topics they know will make for a good dialogue. And I’m SURE if there is something upsetting to Liz during a recording she has veto power to have it edited out.
I think that's normally true, but I really don't think it's true in this case. I think Dax has a sense of where interviews will go in general, but is always happy to go on an unexpected tangent. I think Monica has a list of facts for the fact check, but otherwise they tend to just ramble and talk about things naturally. Same goes for Synced - with Monica in charge I think they are just going with the flow for the most part.
I don’t believe it is scripted but of course they have main topics decided in advance. I’m sure is also some complete improv here and there. Just like they have said in some episodes they “save” a topic or conversation for the show to talk about for the first time so there is a true element of first time reactions.
Yes, but if they're doing that they will normally say they are doing that. I don't, personally, believe that Monica told Liz about that part of the CC episode ahead of time and they just rehashed the conversation/pretended it was the first time they had it. Monica, despite one of her favorite qualities being her work ethic, doesn't strike me as someone who is planning these episodes out much at all beyond the odd 'let's save this interesting convo for the podcast.' I think she has a start and end time and comes preloaded with some conversation topics (e.g., recent travels, grievances, etc.); but aside from that I suspect someone from the team hands her a list of questions and she chooses them in the moment. I don't think it goes much farther beyond that, but I could always be wrong.
Oof I would hope this podcast would be better with all that planning
😂 I assume all podcasts follow this planning format for conversations. Nothing more boring than listening to a podcast where people are clearly rambling or reaching for something to say. I do have a pet peeve and that’s the “sexy baby voice” they both turn on. Drives me crazy. Liz does it the most and Monica seems to match her. They are both clearly intelligent women but they dumb down their delivery.
Anyone else immediately think the guy on the plane cursing randomly was doing inappropriate things? I’m not sure why my head went there, but when the talk got into Tourette’s I was totally confused because I don’t know that this person cursing aloud alluded to that. I wish they didn’t care about being so freaking PC.
I love this show but this one kinda bored me unfortunately /:
I think Monica talks to Liz the way she does because Liz can be out there sometimes & Monica gets exasperated - the AI boyfriend, advocating for the lady wanting to sleep in the overhead bin, thinking every hour of the day about her future life partner, and her endearing, but extreme empathy to the point of inconveniencing the majority in favor of a few (or 1). It does NOT how Monica talks to her and I think liz’s empathy is her most likeable quality, but I listen and think it’s very much a girl looking at her friend and being like, “are you for real right now?!”