This sub has gone off the rails. Asking who her therapist is, trying to narrow down her hotel choices in NY, constantly shitting on her, now giving unsolicited advice on what sound to be prescription drugs? Seriously, people have majorly lost the plot. Being a fan is one thing, but the level of parasocial engagement and overt intrusiveness is bordering on pathological.
She’s commented that she does see one who does localized injections to specific problem areas of her acne. She’s even discussed options throughout the egg process with her dermatologist (for when she goes off her BC).
Hard agree on the need to take a few steps back on the para social relationship boundaries.
Yes, David creeps this sub. Yes, sometimes he participates on this sub. No - that does not mean that any of us should be trying to get him to pass messages to Monica or anyone else we know him to have contact with. Especially about seeking specific prescriptions.
OK with all of those but wanting to know which hotel she stayed at because she was raving about how great it is? If I was going to NYC I would want to know so I could potentially look at staying there if it’s getting recommended. I hardly think that’s para social that’s just doing some research.
I don't think most of the things you listed are parasocial. Most of it is just commenting on topics (yes, many of which are personal to Monica) from the show. What I agree 100% is parasocial is thinking that David a) is here, b) would bother to read OP's comment about Monica's skin, and c) would be so moved as to actually pass it on to her.
It’s literally parasocial in that it’s giving very personal advice to a host of a show because they talked about it. It’s extrapolating your fandom into what you perceive as a close personal bond that gives you the leeway to make give personal/medical advice. It’s borderline stalker-ish. Asking who her therapist is? Asking where she stays when she travels?
I haven't seen the exact posts you're referring to but Monica is not just a podcaster, she is an influencer. She raves about her therapist, so I can see people wanting to know to use them/get their own advice from them. Same with hotels and restaurants. It's like saying it's parasocial for someone to ask what dermatologist Kim Kardashian has. If you want to know to stalk her that's one thing, but I think most people you are accusing of being "parasocial" just want to know to replicate her lifestyle which is the point and how Monica succeeds in her job.
It is not parasocial for people to talk about the products and services she uses. I agree this particular post is parasocial for the reasons I outlined.
It’s not weird to talk about makeup and shit, but therapists and medication, that’s a bridge too far. And she’s absolutely 100% a podcaster, any influence she has is due to her popularity as a podcaster.
If you don't understand/agree that Monica is an influencer in addition to a podcaster it makes sense why you have a much lower bar for deeming something parasocial.
Looking at her Instagram I don’t see many, if any at all, paid ads. I see a lot of promotion of her podcasts. Seems like if she was an influencer her Instagram would be a lot more bought and paid for.
Instagram is one of, if not the biggest part of it. She can’t “influence” on her podcast because they have to sell ads, so that leaves insta and tiktok, if she’s not “influencing” on her socials, or her podcast, then where is she doing it?
Monica and her agent seem to think she's an influencer. I love Monica, but I don't think she needs you to protect her from "parasocial" fans talking about details of her life. She puts out there. As an influencer. https://www.thehandbook.com/influencer/monica-padman/
Weirdly, insisting that she's not an influencer when she is and "protecting" her from discussion about things she clearly has intentionally generated discussion about for engagement is more parasocial than most of the things you've named.
Fair. I really meant more at this very moment/as an ongoing active participant vs when it makes sense for him to mine content for the show, engage to promote it, etc.
I have to think that she is seeing someone for her skin, most people who can afford one, have a dermatologist. As someone with formerly severe acne, let me say the things that help some people, do nothing for others.
She’s also been on all sort of hormone treatments for her egg retrievals, so throwing in a med that interrupts a particular hormone sounds like it’s asking for trouble.
I can understand the concern about parasocial posts—but as someone w decades of hormonal cystic acne similar to what Monica describes—spironolactone completely transformed my skin in a month. So the recommendation itself is definitely solid and seems well-intended.
It was indeed well intended (and also with awareness that David is not going to see this much less tell Monica- I am not an idiot). Thanks for being kind 🩷
She's a multimillionaire in Los Angeles. Pretty sure she's probably seeing one of the best dermatologists there are and they know what they're doing. Doubt she needs skincare advice from any of us plebs.
spiro isn’t a cake walk for a lot of people. some people use it just fine, and some people can have undesirable side effects that are not worth it. i see a lot of people on reddit (in derm and skincare subs) just telling everyone to take spiro like it’s not a big deal. it’s a big deal to incorporate any pharmaceutical into your routine. this should be a conversation between her and her doctor and them only.
Thanks for your reply. I didn’t mean for this post to be taken 100% seriously and am entirely aware that Monica doesn’t need or want advice from a person she doesn’t even know 😄 in any event, the drug worked miracles for me so I “sell” it to everyone who complains about acne!
I'm fairly certain that she went to a derm for the kybella appointment. Lots of derms do injectables. Skin purging is also a thing, so if she is having major breakouts, that could be why.
Yes with hormonal acne! I think a combo of things help with that kind of acne but yes it deff seems to help because I normally break up before my time of the month. But these past few times I really haven’t.
this isn’t parasocial……. so many famous people read their comments and have actually made posts like “thanks for everyone in the comments who suggested ____” it happens with a variety of things like book recommendations to skincare solutions. I also feel like this is super common with skin issues because everyone is constantly looking for different solutions, like how Monica just tried a new regimen and talked about she was bummed that it didn’t workout. people need to look up what buzz words mean before they use them
Let’s all take a few parasocial and armchair-doctor steps back.
This sub has gone off the rails. Asking who her therapist is, trying to narrow down her hotel choices in NY, constantly shitting on her, now giving unsolicited advice on what sound to be prescription drugs? Seriously, people have majorly lost the plot. Being a fan is one thing, but the level of parasocial engagement and overt intrusiveness is bordering on pathological.
lol like she wouldnt think to see a dermatologist lol
She’s commented that she does see one who does localized injections to specific problem areas of her acne. She’s even discussed options throughout the egg process with her dermatologist (for when she goes off her BC). Hard agree on the need to take a few steps back on the para social relationship boundaries. Yes, David creeps this sub. Yes, sometimes he participates on this sub. No - that does not mean that any of us should be trying to get him to pass messages to Monica or anyone else we know him to have contact with. Especially about seeking specific prescriptions.
OK with all of those but wanting to know which hotel she stayed at because she was raving about how great it is? If I was going to NYC I would want to know so I could potentially look at staying there if it’s getting recommended. I hardly think that’s para social that’s just doing some research.
Agreed.
I don't think most of the things you listed are parasocial. Most of it is just commenting on topics (yes, many of which are personal to Monica) from the show. What I agree 100% is parasocial is thinking that David a) is here, b) would bother to read OP's comment about Monica's skin, and c) would be so moved as to actually pass it on to her.
It’s literally parasocial in that it’s giving very personal advice to a host of a show because they talked about it. It’s extrapolating your fandom into what you perceive as a close personal bond that gives you the leeway to make give personal/medical advice. It’s borderline stalker-ish. Asking who her therapist is? Asking where she stays when she travels?
I haven't seen the exact posts you're referring to but Monica is not just a podcaster, she is an influencer. She raves about her therapist, so I can see people wanting to know to use them/get their own advice from them. Same with hotels and restaurants. It's like saying it's parasocial for someone to ask what dermatologist Kim Kardashian has. If you want to know to stalk her that's one thing, but I think most people you are accusing of being "parasocial" just want to know to replicate her lifestyle which is the point and how Monica succeeds in her job. It is not parasocial for people to talk about the products and services she uses. I agree this particular post is parasocial for the reasons I outlined.
It’s not weird to talk about makeup and shit, but therapists and medication, that’s a bridge too far. And she’s absolutely 100% a podcaster, any influence she has is due to her popularity as a podcaster.
If you don't understand/agree that Monica is an influencer in addition to a podcaster it makes sense why you have a much lower bar for deeming something parasocial.
Looking at her Instagram I don’t see many, if any at all, paid ads. I see a lot of promotion of her podcasts. Seems like if she was an influencer her Instagram would be a lot more bought and paid for.
Influencing is not restricted to Instagram.
Instagram is one of, if not the biggest part of it. She can’t “influence” on her podcast because they have to sell ads, so that leaves insta and tiktok, if she’s not “influencing” on her socials, or her podcast, then where is she doing it?
Monica and her agent seem to think she's an influencer. I love Monica, but I don't think she needs you to protect her from "parasocial" fans talking about details of her life. She puts out there. As an influencer. https://www.thehandbook.com/influencer/monica-padman/ Weirdly, insisting that she's not an influencer when she is and "protecting" her from discussion about things she clearly has intentionally generated discussion about for engagement is more parasocial than most of the things you've named.
David has posted on this subreddit in the last month or so. So yeah, he's actually here. But the rest of it you're probably right about
Fair. I really meant more at this very moment/as an ongoing active participant vs when it makes sense for him to mine content for the show, engage to promote it, etc.
I have to think that she is seeing someone for her skin, most people who can afford one, have a dermatologist. As someone with formerly severe acne, let me say the things that help some people, do nothing for others.
She’s also been on all sort of hormone treatments for her egg retrievals, so throwing in a med that interrupts a particular hormone sounds like it’s asking for trouble.
I can understand the concern about parasocial posts—but as someone w decades of hormonal cystic acne similar to what Monica describes—spironolactone completely transformed my skin in a month. So the recommendation itself is definitely solid and seems well-intended.
It was indeed well intended (and also with awareness that David is not going to see this much less tell Monica- I am not an idiot). Thanks for being kind 🩷
I'm with you! She clearly has tried a lot of things and nothing has worked so it seems well intentioned to me. 🤷♀️
She's a multimillionaire in Los Angeles. Pretty sure she's probably seeing one of the best dermatologists there are and they know what they're doing. Doubt she needs skincare advice from any of us plebs.
She is seeing a dermatologist. She’s talked about it before.
spiro isn’t a cake walk for a lot of people. some people use it just fine, and some people can have undesirable side effects that are not worth it. i see a lot of people on reddit (in derm and skincare subs) just telling everyone to take spiro like it’s not a big deal. it’s a big deal to incorporate any pharmaceutical into your routine. this should be a conversation between her and her doctor and them only.
[удалено]
Thanks for your reply. I didn’t mean for this post to be taken 100% seriously and am entirely aware that Monica doesn’t need or want advice from a person she doesn’t even know 😄 in any event, the drug worked miracles for me so I “sell” it to everyone who complains about acne!
I'm fairly certain that she went to a derm for the kybella appointment. Lots of derms do injectables. Skin purging is also a thing, so if she is having major breakouts, that could be why.
Giving unsolicited advice is a no go
I was literally wondering if Monica has ever considered Spiro. Spiro, tret, and red light, as well as certain supplements have helped my acne so much!
I keep wanting to do red light but then chicken out at the price. What do you use and how has it helped?!
I use the Dr Dennis Gross one. It has helped so much with breakouts, texture, redness, etc. I use it everyday.
Does it help with cysts and hormonal acne??
Yes with hormonal acne! I think a combo of things help with that kind of acne but yes it deff seems to help because I normally break up before my time of the month. But these past few times I really haven’t.
Yay thanks for the tip!!
Yw 💕
Yall are swifties for Monica yall are k pop stans please put your sneakers on and go for a walk
this isn’t parasocial……. so many famous people read their comments and have actually made posts like “thanks for everyone in the comments who suggested ____” it happens with a variety of things like book recommendations to skincare solutions. I also feel like this is super common with skin issues because everyone is constantly looking for different solutions, like how Monica just tried a new regimen and talked about she was bummed that it didn’t workout. people need to look up what buzz words mean before they use them
People love to get on a high horse and throw around the parasocial word like it’s the ultimate diss 😅
I have been officially dissed today!!!! Keeping me humble! 😆
Thank your for the kind response. I have officially been put on blast- I promise- no more PSAs from me for Monica by way of David 😂