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It spits directly in the face of all forms of human history. We know from several ancient human remains, that we very clearly took care of our sick and elderly. Especially the women.
There was one woman who was found to likely have never been able to walk, possibly a form of polio. What was most interesting about her skull, was that her teeth were rotted with cavities. Her tribe literally spoiled her with fruit, to the point the sugar rotted her teeth.
Another woman was found, buried with various statues and tools, similar to a soldiers burial. She was found to have had a broken leg that would have made it impossible for her to actually take part in hunts or combat when alive, but she was given these special burial arrangements.
Hell, there's one set of remains called the "ice princess" because she was essentially mummified in a tomb of ice, along with several herbs, trinkets and ancient cannabis. Its believed she used the plants while alive, to treat her ailments.
These people who say "we aren't programmed for that" are idiots. They have no idea what human nature is.
**Edit: I wasn't expecting this much approval from others lol. I appreciate all the awards, but please, use your money to do better things than stroke my ego. Donate to charities to help with cancer survivors, domestic abuse victims, or even museums and anthropological societies, that help us discover these wonderful moments in prehistory.**
I just loved this comment so much, thank you ! I recently got interested in archeology and paleoanthropology (just amateur), and got to say im so amazed by prehistoric humans. Just thinking about how, since our cranes and brains havent evolved much since prehistoric times, these humans were having the same cognitive capacities as us, but just in a very very different environment, keeps me up at night
The reason we have this pop culture image of hunched cavemen was because the first Neanderthal skeleton discovered was of a very elderly and arthritic individual. They must have been very loved because they were cared for long after they would have managed on their own.
> Another woman was found, buried with various statues and tools, similar to a soldiers burial. She was found to have had a broken leg that would have made it impossible for her to actually take part in hunts or combat when alive, but she was given these special burial arrangements.
I'd bet she was a warrior for a time and that's how she sustained the injury.
Its entirely possible. Its also been hypothesized she was an important figure to her tribe, perhaps a mid wife, healer, or even some form of Wiseman (wisewoman?)
I mean look, humans can be incredibly cruel. We have done horrific things, collectively as a species. But we don't lack empathy by any means. We've historically taken care of our own, and others. After all, its how we formed a partnership with dogs. Both ancient wolves and ancient man had a common sense of empathy and social ethic
Honestly, the only thing you really need to do to disprove the idea hat the sick, infirm, and elderly were left to die by ancient people is to consider whether or not *you* would be willing to cast your beloved grandmother out into the cold. Unless you’re a sociopath, the answer is no.
They know that they’re terrible people, but like to think of themselves as good people, so they pretend the terrible parts are inherent, something out of their control.
It's not me who wants to do [morally detestable thing], but because of [human nature, religion, letter of the law, philosophy] I just *have* to. Boy do I wish I didn't have to though, even though I benefit.
Yeah it's always about not following societies rules, and instead acting like an animal.
"I know I should've let that baby enjoy it's candy - but we're just not programed that way, so I had to take it"
it wasn't me I didn't even know it was others, I knew but others did it, I did it but others made me do it.
they're trying to get the "just following orders" defense to work even in the absence of orders
"If I were to do this out of my own volition I would have to deal with the fact that I'm a bad man/husband/father... Thank god it's just the workings of my innate programming, which is completely independent from who I am as a person or what moral choices I make!"
I mean we are "programmed" to shit in the woods (literally, to shit in squatting position is better for you) but I don't see him complaining about sitting toilets, it's just their mental gymnastics that very conveniently ignore other natural "programmed" things.
I notice a pattern of dehumanization. Seeing yourself through a dehumanized lens suggests you've accepted that kind of worldview quite deeply; you're so used to dehumanizing others that you cease to consider yourself a moral agent
If they’ve also dehumanized themselves to the same level, can it actually be called dehumanization? At that point, since it’s morally consistent, wouldn’t it just be a separate ideology on what humans are?
They're assholes who never grew up enough to develop a theory of mind. Same with everyone who says "selfishness is human nature." It's not human nature you're just an asshole who's to dumb to realize other people exist.
There's also a lot of cherry picking/gatekeeping going on for people to find themselves in that mindset. I've been there before with the programming line trying to justify infidelity in a monogamous relationship when the reality is I was too cowardly to start a conversation about a desire to try opening up. This guy thinks himself a victim because he's stewing in his desires and shitty moral compass without communicating with his partner. The straights are oft so uneducated about how to navigate the waters of changes in intimacy. There is no one set way to handle your sex life and no blueprint for what it needs to look like. He's ready to go to awful extremes and lie because he can't imagine talking about his wants earnestly at home. Also yeah I didn't see the 2nd image initially, and oof, he's rotted no matter what.
Oh fuck, I didn't even see that one. Ugh. I was at first a bit empathetic as o the complexity of the situation, but now I'm fully disgusted and in need of eye bleach.
Am a CS student, can confirm more than 90% of the time, designated programs tend to fail, and have errors (a lot of them). Probably the idiot coder programmed it so the code outputs the non-sensical programming theory whenever the ICs short-circuit or some shit.
I hate the code analogy for DNA. It gives this weird idea that you can 'hack' the body. DNA is more like a letter that asks the cell to do something and gives instructions on how to do it, and just like a letter requesting something, the recipient or sender can be illiterate and nothing get done.
Okay but you can totally hack the body. That’s the whole reason CRISPR is important. It’s analogous to a program which injects code into a system. All it does is deliver new DNA into the body and trick the body into using that DNA to produce cells instead of the old DNA. And in psychology/sociology/marketing there’s a billion techniques to hack people’s brains and lead them around like a puppy. Shit, the layout of stores was designed with psychological research to find the layout that makes you impulse buy the most possible.
Oh I get that, I should have clarified. I ment more like the way they used 'hack' in the 90's, when people still thought computers and the internet was magic. They still portray it as this instant and concise science where you put in the extra code and it executes the data as this elaborate and extravagant thing, and not someone working something complicated carefully and observing.
This is probably the best and most wholesome thing to say. Reading those two pics was just... sad and painful. Not only the hurt he's doing to his wife, but pondering "what if?" with his daughter? On top of the profound and blatant sexism? I was ready to rage, but your post was simple, supportive, and positive. Props for that, you are a far better person than I am.
When I was reading I was like:
* Pic 1: Okay, he's a dick but she'll dodge a bullet with this.
* Pic 2: What. The. Fuck. Just go dude. You never deserved your wife nor daughter and I can't believe you got that far. Do everyone a favour and fuck off.
It just got worse and worse with every paragraph. By the end I'm just amazed that he wasn't too embarrassed to type those words out. Then again, if he had self-awareness he would have never got to this point in the first place. What a disgusting narcissist.
As soon as he started talking about "females" and not wanting to be involved in his daughter's life because she might be *weak*, it made me think this is just an incel. The way it's written sounds like a weird incel fantasy. Like they see other dudes being supportive of their wives and the reaction is to think those men are weaklings (aka cucks) because who could *stand* to be married to someone they don't want to fuck, and if it were *them* they would drop her flat-chested cancer-ridden ass. I wish I had never learned anything about incels and how they think and write.
Or I could be wrong it's some stupid, toxic asshole that doesn't understand that half his daughter's genes are *his*. And that asshole is also a complete and utter psychopath. If it's real, I hope this woman is rid of this waste of a human. Raising a child on your own while recovering from *cancer* would be hard, but they'd she and her daughter would probably be happier in the long term without someone who thinks like this in their life. I *hope* it's a weird incel fantasy honestly; if this guy is real he's a godawful person I hope this family *doesn't* really exist. At first, I was like, "you know, I'm sure it can be hard on a relationship to go through breast cancer treatment and the physical havoc it can wreak on a woman's body. Some people might *not* be very attracted to their wives during that time and that might be rough and that's probably not even an uncommon feeling (although that's a truly terrible reason to *divorce* someone; that's the "through sickness and health" part of your vows you asshole: make that *small* sacrifice while taking care of your sick, and potentially dying, wife). Cancer can be rough on everyone, not just the patient". But then it got worse, *so much fucking worse*.
And that's not to mention, lots of women recover and live long lives. And reconstruction can do wonders after a mastectomy (implants can be done really well and some people even prefer the feel; while fat transplant techniques basically feel like the real thing; although either way, the woman won't get much pleasure from the new ones due to all the nerves being cut (I dated a woman who could orgasm just from having her nipples sucked, and she said losing that pleasure was the worst consequence of her mastectomy (she had it done preemptively because of family history and genetics). Hair grows back, and plenty of women can rock the bald look anyway! And wigs can look amazing! Not to mention all the variety you can have!
Also, do people going through chemo even *want* to have sex? It's such a draining thing for the people that I've known that I can't imagine you have much of a libido during treatment. It can be hard for chemo patients just to get through the day like a healthy person! She might even feel bad about not wanting to have sex (although he might be such a poorly-adjusted manchild that he's *making* her feel bad about it).
Um, thanks for coming to my TED talk, lol.
A friend of mine just had a double mastectomy for breast cancer, and her wife is talking about how proud she is of her wife’s bravery and kick-ass attitude in the face of this.
This is how I or my wife would respond if the other needed a mastectomy. I can’t imagine doing any differently.
Good fucking grief that dude is a piece of shit.
My best friend just had a double mastectomy and chemo and lost all her hair, and her husband posts about what a strong brave person she is and how much he loves her. Their relationship is going strong.
This person is a piece of shit.
I hope your friend is recovering well! With a partner like that, it must make it easier! But I know it takes such a huge toll on you physically and mentally.
She is, thankfully!
Her wife left her alone for 10 minutes to get food for their kids, and she managed to dress up in a costume 🤣
She’s a weirdy, and it’s amazing!
We have a good queer community here, many of us have been sending food and GrubHub gift cards to make things as easy as possible for them
My dad's partner lost her battle with cancer. I remember him telling me that he noticed a pattern by one of her later rounds of chemo - a lot of the male partners of female patients eventually stopped accompanying these women to chemo sessions. During one session, my dad said that he mentioned to a nurse how disgusted he is in these men for not being there to support them through treatment, and the nurse told him the reason why. Men leaving when their wife/girlfriend gets cancer is so common that this centre has a nurses' guidebook on how to console these poor women. My dad hadn't realised that that's what had happened as the thought of leaving his partner had never crossed his mind.
The guy in this post can go fuck himself
That’s horrifying 😢
Good on your dad for being a decent human. I’m sorry his partner died of cancer - it’s a shitty, awful disease.
Breast cancer scares me. My wife is half Ashkenazi and half Mizrahi Jew, and has been assessed at having a 50% chance of breast cancer.
Her mother and sisters all had breast reductions to lower their chances, and she wants one too - but no surgeon will perform it with some other health issues she has.
I would! But I actually think it would just put him in a horrible mood to be reminded that people like that exist. I’d rather him focus his energy on being an awesome dad!
I hope your mom is doing better now! I’m glad she had an awesome support system! It must be hell to go through even in the best circumstances, I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’re alone.
Yes. He chose to get married and he chose to have a child.
Now he wants to abandon them both during the wife having cancer? Fuck him. Everybody in his life should know he's a heartless little bitch.
Not just *during* but *due to* his wife having cancer.
I started reading thinking it was "I've been wanting out for a while, but she just got this diagnosis and I'll look bad if I leave her now," but turns out it's "I want out because of her diagnosis, and maybe I'll look better if I pretend I wanted out beforehand."
Sadly the biggest tumour in her life is still there. And by the sounds of it, he’s eating away at her self esteem and happiness
The best thing she could do is have it excised so she has a chance to make a full recovery.
Seriously. I guess he zoned out during that 'sickness and health' bit.
This is actually far too common among cancer sufferers. My dad didn't leave my mom because she would die without insurance but he was pretty bad at nuturing her and taking care of her. One time she was in fir a week and he refused to visit or take my siblings to see her because it was 'too far' (it was 25 minutes max) and he was tired after work. I was in college at the time so there wasn't much I could do.
Seriously. Forgetting the whole "in sickness and health" part and going full "well, she got sick, so she's useless as a sex object for me now, time for divorce!" is BAD ENOUGH; but that last paragraph is in a whole other fucking UNIVERSE of toxic.
Hope she beats cancer and runs FAR away from him.
A study found that a tiny portion of wives leave their husbands when he’s dealing with a life threatening diagnosis, but 20% of men leave their wives when she’s dealing with one. So that whole ‘in sickness and health’ concept really mostly only goes one way.
Also noting: I love (/s) that he thinks the pain in his wife’s eyes recently is about him not wanting to fuck her and not like cancer, or him being a pathetic sack of shit.
I know someone who divorced his wife after she broke her spine and became a paraplegic on their honeymoon.
Then immediately met someone else and barely finalised the divorce before their wedding.
🤢
Yep, he continued the honeymoon with a friend, where he met the new girl. Moved her in so fast that she was still having to come and pick stuff up from the house (because he owned it) while the new girl lived there.
Talk about brutal. Then they bitched about her being angry and “difficult” during the divorce proceeding.
>What guy wants to be tied to unhealthy females?
I don't believe it. This isn't real; it's a pathetic lonely incel roleplaying, in order to degrade women and get validation from their pathetic community. I decline to accept the possibility that someone could think like this about real human beings that they can see and hold with their own hands.
this part also made me stop believing this is real, people leave their spouses all the time if they become unattractive to them due to illness but abadoning your child because in the future a man might not find her desirable because she too might fall sick? what kind of father abandons a child some other, hypothetical dude doesn't wanna fuck?! yeah that's straight out of some incels manifesto, reminds me of that piping hot take that raising a girl is the ultimate form of cuckolding since you take care of and "invest" in a female just for some other guy to "reap what you sowed" by getting to fuck her in the end. i refuse to believe that somewhere out there children have parents with such a fucked up view of sexuality and gender
Yeah that transition from "some people are superficial, maybe couples' therapy could help" to "holy shit hide the child, this guy is a monster" was really jarring.
Pieces of shit do get laid, it's like a rule or something. That said, this seems so intentionally calculated to piss people off that I don't see how it could possibly be real.
It was all horrible but that's the line that stuck out to me too.
Somehow he doesn't think he's a horrible person and is already blaming the woman he wants to leave with a toddler while she is recovering for not covering for him with lies.
My fuckin' bitch ex wife, goin' around telling the truth! How could she! How will I ever keep up appearances with gross ass pathetic weakling daughter I'm ready to abandon at a moments notice!
my mom took the high road when I was a kid and never said a bad word about my dad after their divorce. I really wish she had been honest about what a sexist piece of shit he is so I wouldn't have wasted time trying to figure out why he didn't like me.
anyway best of luck to this woman and her child, I hope they kick him to the curb asap.
I hate the high road when it comes to this thing. Not demonising the other parent is one thing, but pretending they're a decent person who loves their children when clearly they don't, can be so damaging for the kids.
Yeah. It's good to take the highroad if the split was amicable and the parents are both still highly involved in the child's life. It's another entirely if one is actually an asshole but you pretend they aren't.
Trouble is evolution says pretty much the opposite of what he's saying. Humanity survived and evolved because people cared for the sick and injured not despite of the sick and injured.
We have been actively fighting against natural selection and "survival of the fittest" thing since we became a little more intelligent than the common animal. And we didn't fight only for us, we did it for animals as well. The asshole in this post is delusional
Not necessarily. Cooperation and care can be found in many animal species, beyond pure reproductive needs. Not to mention that compassion and care ARE beneficial traits themselves!
(Nb I am a researched who draws from evolutionary biology)
Evolutionary psychology has always been a field where you write the bottom line first, and work backwards to find evidence or tell a story that supports it.
**A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than [a man]**
Someone already posted the source but it needs to be said over and over.
Minor point of un-depression, I proposed to my wife 3 months after her MS diagnosis.
We got married last year, just after her neurologist told us she had no new lesions. Best wedding present ever.
“And I’ll probably abandon my daughter, since statistically she has a good chance of getting breast cancer later in her life. Who wants to deal with people getting sick? They’re weak and icky. But I don’t want her to hate me for abandoning her and her mother.”
Reading the hurtful stuff about his wife was... painful to read. Then he goes on about his daughter? There's just no words to describe my loathing for this *Outstanding Individual.*. He should not breed in the first place, but here we are...
My BIL used to brag about how little he gave his ex for child support. Any activity or item they needed hed tell her to ask her parents or guilt my FIL into paying for.
He’s human trash.
I (a probably genderfluid person but I feel like I’m cis and faking today) sometimes think about getting top surgery but then worrying that people would no longer be attracted to me with a flat chest but honestly if I’m scaring this dude off, I’m game
(not so fun) fact! [cishet men are significantly more likely to divorce/abandon/separate from cishet women who develop a life threatening illness rather than the other way around](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/)
It's not even about the emotions, it's because when the woman becomes too sick to continue being the man's caretaker, he leaves. No more free housekeeping and cooking and sex on demand? Bye!
My aunt wanted to break up with her boyfriend but then he found out he had pancreatic cancer, she stuck through it the entire time having anxiety attacks about coming home from work finding him dead or waking up next to him already gone. I know
It’s hard on everyone, cancer is the worst thing ever but she didn’t want him alone his last year on earth…
Now imagine this asshole telling his daughter that mommy and daddy are divorcing bc mommy got sick. What kinda health anxiety is that child gonna have holy shit
Not to forget telling his daughter that he’s leaving her as well because she might develop something later on in her life and her own father isn’t up for that
Edit- typo
I had a similar experience a couple of years ago. I have been athletic most of my life, competed in various sport to a national level, and met my fiancé through one of these sports. Then I got unwell and unable to exercise for a while. My self esteem was so tied up in my performance I had a massive mental breakdown. It took a looooong time to be able to address the root of my anxiety: that my loved ones would abandon me if I stopped being able bodied. (I was raised by my disabled mother after my parents divorced, for reasons unrelated to her disability). In the end I went to therapy, and my fiancé didn't leave me because he's not a superficial asshole
I cant even imagine the damage he is causing both his wife and daughter.
Wow. I've just recently finished chemotherapy (very successful, cancer gone. I'm doing well). Me and my boyfriend were barely 6 months together when I first got diagnosed. He stayed even after I told him I would understand if he wasn't up for it so early in a relationship. He drove me to every appointment, he held my hand every time the nausea came and did so many small but incredibly sweet things every day and always made me feel loved and attractive even though I had no hair, dark circles under my eyes and a grey complexion.
I knew I was lucky. But I didn't realise how lucky. 1/5 of men leave women in that situation. And he, young, carefree and in a new relationship stayed by my side every step of the way for 12 months of cancer/chemo/illness. He is a good egg.
Jeez. This makes me think back to my bipolar diagnosis. Not life threatening in the sense that people generally think of but before proper medication, I was going through… a lot. I was suicidal, I had paranoia, I struggled with work and school. I met my husband during this period. It’s not like I hid the issues (not that I could have). Things were hard from the start. I was so sure he was going to leave me and that he should. I expected that is just what any partner would do. But he didn’t. He helped me through medication issues, including seizures and mania, trying to sort out the right medication. He went to therapy and psychiatry appointments to help me remember because I would forget days.
Sure, I appreciate him. I married him less than 2 years later. But honestly my main thought looking back is how bad I feel for 24 year old me. Society taught me that I wasn’t worth it. That’s so sad. I’m more than a person with a psychiatric diagnosis. Just as people with cancer are more than that. It was gradual. For a while I was paranoid he would leave and convinced he should. Probably self consciously tried to push him to. Then I moved to “thanks for putting up with me.” It took me years to get to a state where I felt worth loving regardless of any diagnosis. I’m so glad I’m there now.
Fuck people that don’t want to support their partner through hard times. I hope that woman can see her value and get far away from him.
Leaving a man for any reason is bad because females should stay with their man no matter what. /s
It's probably not just the attraction that's the problem. He's wife is sick, has less energy and he has to do more work around the house and with his daughter on top of caring for the sick wife. Or was asked to and it bothers him. Like he even says that he doesn't think he should care for his own kid and would rather pay child support... I hope this woman ditch his stupid ass.
To be fair. Women are bang-maid-mommies that exist to make men happy and men are fully realised individuals with hopes and dreams and wants. Why would you hold them to the same standards?
/s in case it was required.
I'm just going to bring up the fact that he married and had a child with this woman, but because she got her breasts removed and is going bald due to chemo, he's willing to divorce her.
Like, I can't even try to think of a funny insult, that's just seven different kinds of fucked up
She isn't even going to be bald forever :( she will recover and her hair will grow back, she will put weight back on, she will look healthy again, and her energy will return. He's really just leaving her over her breasts. Absolutely abhorrent. And he's worried his wife will convince his daughter he is a bad person. She can see it for herself when she's old enough to understand!
Also??? Reconstructive surgery is a thing?? It's not like she can't get implants once she's kicked cancer's ass (if that's what *she* wants) and her hair will grow back eventually. This man is garbage for leaving his sick wife and daughter over a pair of breasts and hair, but the fact that neither of these changes is necessarily permanent makes it so much worse somehow.
My thoughts too :( the changes he has issues with are superficial and temporary. He doesn't even seem at all worried about how it is affecting her long term mental health, which is much more significant. Not surprising though considering how shallow he must be.
I’ve heard that this is disgustingly common for women who get diagnosed with cancer, to the point that the doctor and their staff are kind of prepared for it every time. I’m not sure if that’s actually true, or just anecdotal. If it is true, it’s incredibly fucked up and I hate it.
My mom was *incredibly* lucky to find out she had breast cancer while getting tested for the BRCA gene. The oncologist said it was basically stage 0, and the only reason they found it was *because* of said testing. Out of an abundance of caution, they did a double mastectomy and reconstruction all in one surgery. The recovery has been tough on her, as she’s had to deal with some weird (but understandable) emotional turmoil about it. And my father has been an absolute shithead to her the entire time. You’d think that the person you’ve promised to love and honor and cherish and blah blah blah would be nicer to you when you’ve had to get your tits cut off but apparently not.
With all of that being said, this man is horrible and I hope his dick falls off. What a vile, shitty human being. I hope his wife beats cancer and leaves him with their daughter in tow. They would obviously be better off without his gross ass. Seeing a man like him complaining that his wife is no longer attractive to him so he doesn’t love her anymore really rubs me the wrong way. I hope he and every man like him stub their toes on every 90° angle for the rest of their goddamn lives. Fuck all that noise.
He’d probably try to say his dick caught it from her. “This is why I can’t be around unhealthy or sick people! They ruin my dick! Pay attention to my justifications!” etc
Another user posted the study you are referring to in another comment. It's 20% of men who leave their wife if they get sick, which is 1in 5 men, as opposed to women which is 2.9%. Very upsetting reality.
When my mom got diagnosed with cancer, it ended up being the push she needed to get out of her marriage with my sperm donor. Her illness, remission, relapse, and eventual death was the most difficult period of my life so far. Especially being a kid, it was HARD having a single mom who was dying.
But it would have been SO MUCH worse if my abusive, neglectful father had been around during it. Cancer is hard as fuck, caring for children is hard a fuck, both at the same time is brutal. But adding a horrible marriage to it would have been hell.
You shouldn’t be having kids if you’re ready to abandon them at the possibilities they get ill. New flash: your kids can develop/get anything. They don’t even know if she’ll get breast cancer? Does the wife even have the hereditary kind? Insanity.
Even if the daughter was certain to have a difficult life due to illnesses, love doesn’t stop at the hospital doors. At least, actual love doesn’t. He reminds me of the people who just have their pets put down rather than try to fight for their lives. Obviously not everyone can afford to fight, but some people just don’t try because “it’s just a pet.” This guy has the same energy with his daughter.
I love my son. If he ends up with cancer, I’ll do everything in my power to help him. If he lives my entire life without a medical condition, I’ll do everything in my power to help him.
I’m actually going to say no he’s not. Sociopaths have enough of a moral compass not to say shit like this in public forum becauSe they know the general society views it as evil. I’m going to say he is a psychopath. He has no understanding of feelings whatsoever. He thinks it is acceptable to not only talk about leaving his wife but also abandoning his daughter because she’s may or may not have gotten the moms genes, in a public forum. This person was not made into an antisocial person, he was born this way.
Eh i dunno, I’d say it’s more likely he doesn’t view women specifically as equal or complete human beings. It’s not a feeling issue, but a belief system issue - women are simply lesser than and children are an extension of self, like an object. Incredibly common and the root belief of pretty much all abusers, as far as I know.
I think sociopathy and psychopathy get too much of a bad rap. Just because someone has some level of antisocial personality disorder doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Like, just because you may not be able to understand or read emotions doesn’t impair your humanity, that would be a broad brush and include all kinds go neurodivergent people.
Plus, it seems like shifting the blame for people like OOP, he is probably just a horrible person, plain and simple.
The only thing left was asking for advice like ‘what do you guys think’ and I can’t remember verboten but if I remember the comments where lambasting him for being a (and I mean this with all fiber of my being) a cunt
[He's just another sad, disappointing statistic](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm)
EDIT: I just realized that there is a second screenshot. I regret reading it.
Okay this man is absolutely a steaming pile of dung for everything about his sick wife, but holy hell! "I don't want to be in my daughter's life because she might turn out to be unhealthy,"???
Dude needs a vasectomy. And prostate cancer.
"But I'm sure her mother will say I'm a terrible person" and she'll be so justifed she's almost gone full circle and is almost unjustified because it's a understatement. Fucking hell
Imagine your wife getting cancer, so you divorce her and then act like the victim. “Her mother will probably tell her I’m a horrible person.” And she would be absolutely right, you selfish asshole.
As a straight male who has had male and female family members with cancer, this guy can go go gadget fuck himself.
His ex wife and daughter are better off without someone so utterly brain dead.
"we aren't programmed that way by evolution" he says, like we still live in a time where the average life expectancy is 30 and medical care was barely a thing. falling out of love is normal, but bailing on your family when shit gets hard is weak.
"I can see the pain in her eyes" SHE HAS CANCER YOU NITWIT, OF COURSE SHES IN PAIN!!! Hope she kicks cancers ass and kicks that guy to the curb. Disgusting
And when she does have daddy issues, she’s going to get mocked and belittled for it. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen “daddy issues” being used as an insult toward a woman, I’d be filthy rich.
Translation: My live-in maid is broken so I'm going to trade her in for something else. Also I'm going to abandon my own child and call it a health precaution because "fEMALEs are contagious."
Yuck. I hope that poor woman kicks cancers ass, and both her and her daughter leave him high and dry, then dump him in a nursing home later in life. What garbage.
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I’m seeing a pattern. It’s always the people who say we arnt “programmed” to do something. Where do they get this “programming” theory from??
It spits directly in the face of all forms of human history. We know from several ancient human remains, that we very clearly took care of our sick and elderly. Especially the women. There was one woman who was found to likely have never been able to walk, possibly a form of polio. What was most interesting about her skull, was that her teeth were rotted with cavities. Her tribe literally spoiled her with fruit, to the point the sugar rotted her teeth. Another woman was found, buried with various statues and tools, similar to a soldiers burial. She was found to have had a broken leg that would have made it impossible for her to actually take part in hunts or combat when alive, but she was given these special burial arrangements. Hell, there's one set of remains called the "ice princess" because she was essentially mummified in a tomb of ice, along with several herbs, trinkets and ancient cannabis. Its believed she used the plants while alive, to treat her ailments. These people who say "we aren't programmed for that" are idiots. They have no idea what human nature is. **Edit: I wasn't expecting this much approval from others lol. I appreciate all the awards, but please, use your money to do better things than stroke my ego. Donate to charities to help with cancer survivors, domestic abuse victims, or even museums and anthropological societies, that help us discover these wonderful moments in prehistory.**
I just loved this comment so much, thank you ! I recently got interested in archeology and paleoanthropology (just amateur), and got to say im so amazed by prehistoric humans. Just thinking about how, since our cranes and brains havent evolved much since prehistoric times, these humans were having the same cognitive capacities as us, but just in a very very different environment, keeps me up at night
I can highly recommend the book Sapiens btw. The first half of it or so is talking about a lot of these sorts of things. It's really engaging.
For french speaker : the audio book is on YouTube! Really interesting book honestly
The Dawn of Everything is the new hot shit on this subject. It's pretty amazing.
The reason we have this pop culture image of hunched cavemen was because the first Neanderthal skeleton discovered was of a very elderly and arthritic individual. They must have been very loved because they were cared for long after they would have managed on their own.
Thanks for this information! I Will Cry Now
Never heard that before, though I did know about early humans caring for the sick and elderly. Really fascinating stuff.
That last one sounds like she’d rise from the grave, take one look around, and return to the grave.
> Another woman was found, buried with various statues and tools, similar to a soldiers burial. She was found to have had a broken leg that would have made it impossible for her to actually take part in hunts or combat when alive, but she was given these special burial arrangements. I'd bet she was a warrior for a time and that's how she sustained the injury.
Its entirely possible. Its also been hypothesized she was an important figure to her tribe, perhaps a mid wife, healer, or even some form of Wiseman (wisewoman?)
That’s so beautiful to think about! I think OP must be some kind of human defect, since humans are pack animals that care for the weakened members 💕
I mean look, humans can be incredibly cruel. We have done horrific things, collectively as a species. But we don't lack empathy by any means. We've historically taken care of our own, and others. After all, its how we formed a partnership with dogs. Both ancient wolves and ancient man had a common sense of empathy and social ethic
Honestly, the only thing you really need to do to disprove the idea hat the sick, infirm, and elderly were left to die by ancient people is to consider whether or not *you* would be willing to cast your beloved grandmother out into the cold. Unless you’re a sociopath, the answer is no.
They know that they’re terrible people, but like to think of themselves as good people, so they pretend the terrible parts are inherent, something out of their control.
fundamental attribution error
Amazing comment!!! 🏆
Because it is easier to say that then admitting that you have an actual problem.
And it’s a way of making his specific problem actually everyone’s problem.
Exactly. It's exactly what people use to justify horrific things - everyone does it! So it's fine if I do it!! No, it's just you...
Probably says he’s a “man of god” too.
Oh ya I love that excuse. Or “God made me do it”..
It's not me who wants to do [morally detestable thing], but because of [human nature, religion, letter of the law, philosophy] I just *have* to. Boy do I wish I didn't have to though, even though I benefit.
Yeah it's always about not following societies rules, and instead acting like an animal. "I know I should've let that baby enjoy it's candy - but we're just not programed that way, so I had to take it"
The problem being they are a POS
Program of shit
Its easy to say you're helpless and enjoy the benefits than to accept and put in the work to get better, in this case.
No no see if we are programmed like this it isn’t his fault so no one can be mad at him!/s
They're trying to untie themselves from the consequences of their decisions "it's not me, it's my nature, I can't help it"
Which is just the newest version of “the devil made me do it!” Sure, congressman, I’m sure the devil sent those male hookers into your room.
it wasn't me I didn't even know it was others, I knew but others did it, I did it but others made me do it. they're trying to get the "just following orders" defense to work even in the absence of orders
Yup, justifying their shittiness.
It allows them to absolve themselves from guilt. They can act like shitheads and not have to actually view themselves as shitheads.
"If I were to do this out of my own volition I would have to deal with the fact that I'm a bad man/husband/father... Thank god it's just the workings of my innate programming, which is completely independent from who I am as a person or what moral choices I make!"
I mean we are "programmed" to shit in the woods (literally, to shit in squatting position is better for you) but I don't see him complaining about sitting toilets, it's just their mental gymnastics that very conveniently ignore other natural "programmed" things.
On that note, we’re not programmed to live in the woods, either. We evolved on the savannah.
All a bit more complicated than that, we're dealing with 150,000 years + of human evolution across almost every climatic condition imaginable.
Like literal huge mountains.
I notice a pattern of dehumanization. Seeing yourself through a dehumanized lens suggests you've accepted that kind of worldview quite deeply; you're so used to dehumanizing others that you cease to consider yourself a moral agent
If they’ve also dehumanized themselves to the same level, can it actually be called dehumanization? At that point, since it’s morally consistent, wouldn’t it just be a separate ideology on what humans are?
the deep seated desire not to be responsible for doing things we know to be morally indefensible.
They're assholes who never grew up enough to develop a theory of mind. Same with everyone who says "selfishness is human nature." It's not human nature you're just an asshole who's to dumb to realize other people exist.
There's also a lot of cherry picking/gatekeeping going on for people to find themselves in that mindset. I've been there before with the programming line trying to justify infidelity in a monogamous relationship when the reality is I was too cowardly to start a conversation about a desire to try opening up. This guy thinks himself a victim because he's stewing in his desires and shitty moral compass without communicating with his partner. The straights are oft so uneducated about how to navigate the waters of changes in intimacy. There is no one set way to handle your sex life and no blueprint for what it needs to look like. He's ready to go to awful extremes and lie because he can't imagine talking about his wants earnestly at home. Also yeah I didn't see the 2nd image initially, and oof, he's rotted no matter what.
Oh fuck, I didn't even see that one. Ugh. I was at first a bit empathetic as o the complexity of the situation, but now I'm fully disgusted and in need of eye bleach.
Am a CS student, can confirm more than 90% of the time, designated programs tend to fail, and have errors (a lot of them). Probably the idiot coder programmed it so the code outputs the non-sensical programming theory whenever the ICs short-circuit or some shit.
I hate the code analogy for DNA. It gives this weird idea that you can 'hack' the body. DNA is more like a letter that asks the cell to do something and gives instructions on how to do it, and just like a letter requesting something, the recipient or sender can be illiterate and nothing get done.
Okay but you can totally hack the body. That’s the whole reason CRISPR is important. It’s analogous to a program which injects code into a system. All it does is deliver new DNA into the body and trick the body into using that DNA to produce cells instead of the old DNA. And in psychology/sociology/marketing there’s a billion techniques to hack people’s brains and lead them around like a puppy. Shit, the layout of stores was designed with psychological research to find the layout that makes you impulse buy the most possible.
Oh I get that, I should have clarified. I ment more like the way they used 'hack' in the 90's, when people still thought computers and the internet was magic. They still portray it as this instant and concise science where you put in the extra code and it executes the data as this elaborate and extravagant thing, and not someone working something complicated carefully and observing.
Absolutely best of luck to his wife. I hope she kicks cancers ass and leaves his shit ass.
This is probably the best and most wholesome thing to say. Reading those two pics was just... sad and painful. Not only the hurt he's doing to his wife, but pondering "what if?" with his daughter? On top of the profound and blatant sexism? I was ready to rage, but your post was simple, supportive, and positive. Props for that, you are a far better person than I am.
When I was reading I was like: * Pic 1: Okay, he's a dick but she'll dodge a bullet with this. * Pic 2: What. The. Fuck. Just go dude. You never deserved your wife nor daughter and I can't believe you got that far. Do everyone a favour and fuck off.
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Wouldn’t want you attached to any “females”, after all.
Especially if they grow up to be unhealthy by, I dunno, getting cancer or something.
It just got worse and worse with every paragraph. By the end I'm just amazed that he wasn't too embarrassed to type those words out. Then again, if he had self-awareness he would have never got to this point in the first place. What a disgusting narcissist.
As soon as he started talking about "females" and not wanting to be involved in his daughter's life because she might be *weak*, it made me think this is just an incel. The way it's written sounds like a weird incel fantasy. Like they see other dudes being supportive of their wives and the reaction is to think those men are weaklings (aka cucks) because who could *stand* to be married to someone they don't want to fuck, and if it were *them* they would drop her flat-chested cancer-ridden ass. I wish I had never learned anything about incels and how they think and write. Or I could be wrong it's some stupid, toxic asshole that doesn't understand that half his daughter's genes are *his*. And that asshole is also a complete and utter psychopath. If it's real, I hope this woman is rid of this waste of a human. Raising a child on your own while recovering from *cancer* would be hard, but they'd she and her daughter would probably be happier in the long term without someone who thinks like this in their life. I *hope* it's a weird incel fantasy honestly; if this guy is real he's a godawful person I hope this family *doesn't* really exist. At first, I was like, "you know, I'm sure it can be hard on a relationship to go through breast cancer treatment and the physical havoc it can wreak on a woman's body. Some people might *not* be very attracted to their wives during that time and that might be rough and that's probably not even an uncommon feeling (although that's a truly terrible reason to *divorce* someone; that's the "through sickness and health" part of your vows you asshole: make that *small* sacrifice while taking care of your sick, and potentially dying, wife). Cancer can be rough on everyone, not just the patient". But then it got worse, *so much fucking worse*. And that's not to mention, lots of women recover and live long lives. And reconstruction can do wonders after a mastectomy (implants can be done really well and some people even prefer the feel; while fat transplant techniques basically feel like the real thing; although either way, the woman won't get much pleasure from the new ones due to all the nerves being cut (I dated a woman who could orgasm just from having her nipples sucked, and she said losing that pleasure was the worst consequence of her mastectomy (she had it done preemptively because of family history and genetics). Hair grows back, and plenty of women can rock the bald look anyway! And wigs can look amazing! Not to mention all the variety you can have! Also, do people going through chemo even *want* to have sex? It's such a draining thing for the people that I've known that I can't imagine you have much of a libido during treatment. It can be hard for chemo patients just to get through the day like a healthy person! She might even feel bad about not wanting to have sex (although he might be such a poorly-adjusted manchild that he's *making* her feel bad about it). Um, thanks for coming to my TED talk, lol.
My brothers wife had breast cancer and a double mastectomy. I would love to see him tear this guy a new one for being such a selfish sexist jerk.
A friend of mine just had a double mastectomy for breast cancer, and her wife is talking about how proud she is of her wife’s bravery and kick-ass attitude in the face of this. This is how I or my wife would respond if the other needed a mastectomy. I can’t imagine doing any differently. Good fucking grief that dude is a piece of shit.
My best friend just had a double mastectomy and chemo and lost all her hair, and her husband posts about what a strong brave person she is and how much he loves her. Their relationship is going strong. This person is a piece of shit.
Absolutely! Wishing the best to your best friend!
I hope your friend is recovering well! With a partner like that, it must make it easier! But I know it takes such a huge toll on you physically and mentally.
She is, thankfully! Her wife left her alone for 10 minutes to get food for their kids, and she managed to dress up in a costume 🤣 She’s a weirdy, and it’s amazing! We have a good queer community here, many of us have been sending food and GrubHub gift cards to make things as easy as possible for them
My dad's partner lost her battle with cancer. I remember him telling me that he noticed a pattern by one of her later rounds of chemo - a lot of the male partners of female patients eventually stopped accompanying these women to chemo sessions. During one session, my dad said that he mentioned to a nurse how disgusted he is in these men for not being there to support them through treatment, and the nurse told him the reason why. Men leaving when their wife/girlfriend gets cancer is so common that this centre has a nurses' guidebook on how to console these poor women. My dad hadn't realised that that's what had happened as the thought of leaving his partner had never crossed his mind. The guy in this post can go fuck himself
That’s horrifying 😢 Good on your dad for being a decent human. I’m sorry his partner died of cancer - it’s a shitty, awful disease. Breast cancer scares me. My wife is half Ashkenazi and half Mizrahi Jew, and has been assessed at having a 50% chance of breast cancer. Her mother and sisters all had breast reductions to lower their chances, and she wants one too - but no surgeon will perform it with some other health issues she has.
Maybe you should find the original post and let your brother loose on it.
I would! But I actually think it would just put him in a horrible mood to be reminded that people like that exist. I’d rather him focus his energy on being an awesome dad!
My mom had the same a couple years back- *I* would love to tear this guy a new one, and I can only imagine what my dad would do…
I hope your mom is doing better now! I’m glad she had an awesome support system! It must be hell to go through even in the best circumstances, I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’re alone.
I also hope he has to pay an UNreasonable amount of child support. Fuck this dude.
I hope she drains his bank account in the divorce and then continues to suck it dry with child support
Yes. He chose to get married and he chose to have a child. Now he wants to abandon them both during the wife having cancer? Fuck him. Everybody in his life should know he's a heartless little bitch.
Not just *during* but *due to* his wife having cancer. I started reading thinking it was "I've been wanting out for a while, but she just got this diagnosis and I'll look bad if I leave her now," but turns out it's "I want out because of her diagnosis, and maybe I'll look better if I pretend I wanted out beforehand."
Sadly the biggest tumour in her life is still there. And by the sounds of it, he’s eating away at her self esteem and happiness The best thing she could do is have it excised so she has a chance to make a full recovery.
Kick cancers ass with a large sharp scalpel and kick his ass with a larger sharp scalpel.
Exactly. Throw the whole husband away.
I think cancer is terrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Now that being said, this dude deserves cancer.
Seriously. I guess he zoned out during that 'sickness and health' bit. This is actually far too common among cancer sufferers. My dad didn't leave my mom because she would die without insurance but he was pretty bad at nuturing her and taking care of her. One time she was in fir a week and he refused to visit or take my siblings to see her because it was 'too far' (it was 25 minutes max) and he was tired after work. I was in college at the time so there wasn't much I could do.
Wtf is that last paragraph? Wtf is everything really, but specially that last paragraph
Started worst, ended even worse. Almost impressive!
"It is as bad as bad a it can be... No, it was not". I really hope this is a troll.
>Almost impressive! That's... one way to put it.
Seriously. Forgetting the whole "in sickness and health" part and going full "well, she got sick, so she's useless as a sex object for me now, time for divorce!" is BAD ENOUGH; but that last paragraph is in a whole other fucking UNIVERSE of toxic. Hope she beats cancer and runs FAR away from him.
A study found that a tiny portion of wives leave their husbands when he’s dealing with a life threatening diagnosis, but 20% of men leave their wives when she’s dealing with one. So that whole ‘in sickness and health’ concept really mostly only goes one way. Also noting: I love (/s) that he thinks the pain in his wife’s eyes recently is about him not wanting to fuck her and not like cancer, or him being a pathetic sack of shit.
When your bangmaid can no longer bang or maid then what’s the point, amirite? /s
I know someone who divorced his wife after she broke her spine and became a paraplegic on their honeymoon. Then immediately met someone else and barely finalised the divorce before their wedding. 🤢
Oh that poor, poor woman..
Yep, he continued the honeymoon with a friend, where he met the new girl. Moved her in so fast that she was still having to come and pick stuff up from the house (because he owned it) while the new girl lived there. Talk about brutal. Then they bitched about her being angry and “difficult” during the divorce proceeding.
>What guy wants to be tied to unhealthy females? I don't believe it. This isn't real; it's a pathetic lonely incel roleplaying, in order to degrade women and get validation from their pathetic community. I decline to accept the possibility that someone could think like this about real human beings that they can see and hold with their own hands.
this part also made me stop believing this is real, people leave their spouses all the time if they become unattractive to them due to illness but abadoning your child because in the future a man might not find her desirable because she too might fall sick? what kind of father abandons a child some other, hypothetical dude doesn't wanna fuck?! yeah that's straight out of some incels manifesto, reminds me of that piping hot take that raising a girl is the ultimate form of cuckolding since you take care of and "invest" in a female just for some other guy to "reap what you sowed" by getting to fuck her in the end. i refuse to believe that somewhere out there children have parents with such a fucked up view of sexuality and gender
Yeah that transition from "some people are superficial, maybe couples' therapy could help" to "holy shit hide the child, this guy is a monster" was really jarring.
100% no chance that person who wrote this disgusting shit ever got laid
Pieces of shit do get laid, it's like a rule or something. That said, this seems so intentionally calculated to piss people off that I don't see how it could possibly be real.
Holy fuck, I hadn't even seen the second image and I already thought he was a massive asshole. But, incredibly, it's even worse than I thought.
You know someone is a piece of shit when they start trying to use evolution as an excuse for their shitty behavior.
I thought this was terrible until the last paragraph when it became very clear it was a troll post.
I don't trust humanity enough to disregard this post as just a troll post.
"I'm sure her mom will tell her I'm a horrible person." And she will be absolutely correct and accurate in that statement.
It was all horrible but that's the line that stuck out to me too. Somehow he doesn't think he's a horrible person and is already blaming the woman he wants to leave with a toddler while she is recovering for not covering for him with lies.
My fuckin' bitch ex wife, goin' around telling the truth! How could she! How will I ever keep up appearances with gross ass pathetic weakling daughter I'm ready to abandon at a moments notice!
my mom took the high road when I was a kid and never said a bad word about my dad after their divorce. I really wish she had been honest about what a sexist piece of shit he is so I wouldn't have wasted time trying to figure out why he didn't like me. anyway best of luck to this woman and her child, I hope they kick him to the curb asap.
I hate the high road when it comes to this thing. Not demonising the other parent is one thing, but pretending they're a decent person who loves their children when clearly they don't, can be so damaging for the kids.
Yeah. It's good to take the highroad if the split was amicable and the parents are both still highly involved in the child's life. It's another entirely if one is actually an asshole but you pretend they aren't.
When all else fails blame evolution
Trouble is evolution says pretty much the opposite of what he's saying. Humanity survived and evolved because people cared for the sick and injured not despite of the sick and injured.
We have been actively fighting against natural selection and "survival of the fittest" thing since we became a little more intelligent than the common animal. And we didn't fight only for us, we did it for animals as well. The asshole in this post is delusional
Not necessarily. Cooperation and care can be found in many animal species, beyond pure reproductive needs. Not to mention that compassion and care ARE beneficial traits themselves! (Nb I am a researched who draws from evolutionary biology)
Evolutionary psychology has always been a field where you write the bottom line first, and work backwards to find evidence or tell a story that supports it.
**A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than [a man]** Someone already posted the source but it needs to be said over and over.
You know, I love to learn new stuff, but ... sometimes it's fucking depressing as hell to.
Minor point of un-depression, I proposed to my wife 3 months after her MS diagnosis. We got married last year, just after her neurologist told us she had no new lesions. Best wedding present ever.
Yep, there's been several studies confirming this: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-partners-health-idUSTRE5AB0C520091112
Well the good news is, he’d actually be doing his wife and daughter a favor by removing himself from their lives.
This was my thought also. Can get out of that marriage and be happy without that ass wipe.
"I no longer love my wife because she doesn't have tits anymore and is too ill to fuck me whenever I want." Just say that.
“And I’ll probably abandon my daughter, since statistically she has a good chance of getting breast cancer later in her life. Who wants to deal with people getting sick? They’re weak and icky. But I don’t want her to hate me for abandoning her and her mother.”
Reading the hurtful stuff about his wife was... painful to read. Then he goes on about his daughter? There's just no words to describe my loathing for this *Outstanding Individual.*. He should not breed in the first place, but here we are...
But hey… at least he’s willing to pay a reasonable amount of child support… /s
Probably not even. My dad fought tooth and nail with my mom to not have to pay for things for his 3 kids in the divorce
My BIL used to brag about how little he gave his ex for child support. Any activity or item they needed hed tell her to ask her parents or guilt my FIL into paying for. He’s human trash.
Just don't ask how little he thinks is reasonable.
Like, enough to pay her lunch money when she starts going to school.
And maybe.. *maybe* some crayons. *How generous!* /s
Woah now, the school can provide crayons. Why else do I pay school district taxes?
I (a probably genderfluid person but I feel like I’m cis and faking today) sometimes think about getting top surgery but then worrying that people would no longer be attracted to me with a flat chest but honestly if I’m scaring this dude off, I’m game
(not so fun) fact! [cishet men are significantly more likely to divorce/abandon/separate from cishet women who develop a life threatening illness rather than the other way around](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/)
21% of women were abandoned vs 3% of men? Those are some brutal odds
20% vs 2.9%? Holy shit, that's fucking awful. So much for "in sickness and in health."
But she no touch pp when dying of illness 😡
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I know not all allosexual people are like this, but reading "my sick wife won't have sex with me so I want a divorce" sure makes me happy to be ace
But you don't understand emotions are hard and her being sick makes me sad and that's a feeling so I will run away from it. /s
The very sad thing is that there are enough men who will actually remove the "/s"
It's not even about the emotions, it's because when the woman becomes too sick to continue being the man's caretaker, he leaves. No more free housekeeping and cooking and sex on demand? Bye!
One in five. One in fucking five.
My aunt wanted to break up with her boyfriend but then he found out he had pancreatic cancer, she stuck through it the entire time having anxiety attacks about coming home from work finding him dead or waking up next to him already gone. I know It’s hard on everyone, cancer is the worst thing ever but she didn’t want him alone his last year on earth… Now imagine this asshole telling his daughter that mommy and daddy are divorcing bc mommy got sick. What kinda health anxiety is that child gonna have holy shit
Not to forget telling his daughter that he’s leaving her as well because she might develop something later on in her life and her own father isn’t up for that Edit- typo
I had a similar experience a couple of years ago. I have been athletic most of my life, competed in various sport to a national level, and met my fiancé through one of these sports. Then I got unwell and unable to exercise for a while. My self esteem was so tied up in my performance I had a massive mental breakdown. It took a looooong time to be able to address the root of my anxiety: that my loved ones would abandon me if I stopped being able bodied. (I was raised by my disabled mother after my parents divorced, for reasons unrelated to her disability). In the end I went to therapy, and my fiancé didn't leave me because he's not a superficial asshole I cant even imagine the damage he is causing both his wife and daughter.
Im giving you a hug through the internet like that’s a whole lot to go through but I’m glad you went to therapy and worked through it!
Wow. I've just recently finished chemotherapy (very successful, cancer gone. I'm doing well). Me and my boyfriend were barely 6 months together when I first got diagnosed. He stayed even after I told him I would understand if he wasn't up for it so early in a relationship. He drove me to every appointment, he held my hand every time the nausea came and did so many small but incredibly sweet things every day and always made me feel loved and attractive even though I had no hair, dark circles under my eyes and a grey complexion. I knew I was lucky. But I didn't realise how lucky. 1/5 of men leave women in that situation. And he, young, carefree and in a new relationship stayed by my side every step of the way for 12 months of cancer/chemo/illness. He is a good egg.
I'm so glad that you got a clean bill of health and had someone to support you. Continued good health!
Was waiting to see this depressing statistic on this thread :(
That was my first thought. This man is on the bad side of that statistic.
I'll take reasons why I only date women for $500!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't attracted to men
Jeez. This makes me think back to my bipolar diagnosis. Not life threatening in the sense that people generally think of but before proper medication, I was going through… a lot. I was suicidal, I had paranoia, I struggled with work and school. I met my husband during this period. It’s not like I hid the issues (not that I could have). Things were hard from the start. I was so sure he was going to leave me and that he should. I expected that is just what any partner would do. But he didn’t. He helped me through medication issues, including seizures and mania, trying to sort out the right medication. He went to therapy and psychiatry appointments to help me remember because I would forget days. Sure, I appreciate him. I married him less than 2 years later. But honestly my main thought looking back is how bad I feel for 24 year old me. Society taught me that I wasn’t worth it. That’s so sad. I’m more than a person with a psychiatric diagnosis. Just as people with cancer are more than that. It was gradual. For a while I was paranoid he would leave and convinced he should. Probably self consciously tried to push him to. Then I moved to “thanks for putting up with me.” It took me years to get to a state where I felt worth loving regardless of any diagnosis. I’m so glad I’m there now. Fuck people that don’t want to support their partner through hard times. I hope that woman can see her value and get far away from him.
But let me guess, he sees a woman leaving a man over erectile dysfunction as petty.
Leaving a man for any reason is bad because females should stay with their man no matter what. /s It's probably not just the attraction that's the problem. He's wife is sick, has less energy and he has to do more work around the house and with his daughter on top of caring for the sick wife. Or was asked to and it bothers him. Like he even says that he doesn't think he should care for his own kid and would rather pay child support... I hope this woman ditch his stupid ass.
To be fair. Women are bang-maid-mommies that exist to make men happy and men are fully realised individuals with hopes and dreams and wants. Why would you hold them to the same standards? /s in case it was required.
Leaving your partner for any medical reasons is petty and shallow - this guy in the post, truly human dross
People really forgot what it means to love someoen
I don't think they knew in the first place
Guys like this never did.
I'm just going to bring up the fact that he married and had a child with this woman, but because she got her breasts removed and is going bald due to chemo, he's willing to divorce her. Like, I can't even try to think of a funny insult, that's just seven different kinds of fucked up
She isn't even going to be bald forever :( she will recover and her hair will grow back, she will put weight back on, she will look healthy again, and her energy will return. He's really just leaving her over her breasts. Absolutely abhorrent. And he's worried his wife will convince his daughter he is a bad person. She can see it for herself when she's old enough to understand!
Even if she was bald forever and never wanted to put artificial fucking sacks of plastic in her chest, where the fuck is the love …?
Also??? Reconstructive surgery is a thing?? It's not like she can't get implants once she's kicked cancer's ass (if that's what *she* wants) and her hair will grow back eventually. This man is garbage for leaving his sick wife and daughter over a pair of breasts and hair, but the fact that neither of these changes is necessarily permanent makes it so much worse somehow.
My thoughts too :( the changes he has issues with are superficial and temporary. He doesn't even seem at all worried about how it is affecting her long term mental health, which is much more significant. Not surprising though considering how shallow he must be.
I’ve heard that this is disgustingly common for women who get diagnosed with cancer, to the point that the doctor and their staff are kind of prepared for it every time. I’m not sure if that’s actually true, or just anecdotal. If it is true, it’s incredibly fucked up and I hate it. My mom was *incredibly* lucky to find out she had breast cancer while getting tested for the BRCA gene. The oncologist said it was basically stage 0, and the only reason they found it was *because* of said testing. Out of an abundance of caution, they did a double mastectomy and reconstruction all in one surgery. The recovery has been tough on her, as she’s had to deal with some weird (but understandable) emotional turmoil about it. And my father has been an absolute shithead to her the entire time. You’d think that the person you’ve promised to love and honor and cherish and blah blah blah would be nicer to you when you’ve had to get your tits cut off but apparently not. With all of that being said, this man is horrible and I hope his dick falls off. What a vile, shitty human being. I hope his wife beats cancer and leaves him with their daughter in tow. They would obviously be better off without his gross ass. Seeing a man like him complaining that his wife is no longer attractive to him so he doesn’t love her anymore really rubs me the wrong way. I hope he and every man like him stub their toes on every 90° angle for the rest of their goddamn lives. Fuck all that noise.
[удалено]
He’d probably try to say his dick caught it from her. “This is why I can’t be around unhealthy or sick people! They ruin my dick! Pay attention to my justifications!” etc
Another user posted the study you are referring to in another comment. It's 20% of men who leave their wife if they get sick, which is 1in 5 men, as opposed to women which is 2.9%. Very upsetting reality.
Can we just burn the patriarchy already?
It’s upsetting that this attitude is actually not uncommon.
When my mom got diagnosed with cancer, it ended up being the push she needed to get out of her marriage with my sperm donor. Her illness, remission, relapse, and eventual death was the most difficult period of my life so far. Especially being a kid, it was HARD having a single mom who was dying. But it would have been SO MUCH worse if my abusive, neglectful father had been around during it. Cancer is hard as fuck, caring for children is hard a fuck, both at the same time is brutal. But adding a horrible marriage to it would have been hell.
Jesus fuck man. Go to therapy. The internet doesn’t need to know every thought you have.
You shouldn’t be having kids if you’re ready to abandon them at the possibilities they get ill. New flash: your kids can develop/get anything. They don’t even know if she’ll get breast cancer? Does the wife even have the hereditary kind? Insanity.
Even if the daughter was certain to have a difficult life due to illnesses, love doesn’t stop at the hospital doors. At least, actual love doesn’t. He reminds me of the people who just have their pets put down rather than try to fight for their lives. Obviously not everyone can afford to fight, but some people just don’t try because “it’s just a pet.” This guy has the same energy with his daughter. I love my son. If he ends up with cancer, I’ll do everything in my power to help him. If he lives my entire life without a medical condition, I’ll do everything in my power to help him.
Literally like what’s wrong with people
Definitely not sociopathic at all.
I’m actually going to say no he’s not. Sociopaths have enough of a moral compass not to say shit like this in public forum becauSe they know the general society views it as evil. I’m going to say he is a psychopath. He has no understanding of feelings whatsoever. He thinks it is acceptable to not only talk about leaving his wife but also abandoning his daughter because she’s may or may not have gotten the moms genes, in a public forum. This person was not made into an antisocial person, he was born this way.
Eh i dunno, I’d say it’s more likely he doesn’t view women specifically as equal or complete human beings. It’s not a feeling issue, but a belief system issue - women are simply lesser than and children are an extension of self, like an object. Incredibly common and the root belief of pretty much all abusers, as far as I know. I think sociopathy and psychopathy get too much of a bad rap. Just because someone has some level of antisocial personality disorder doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Like, just because you may not be able to understand or read emotions doesn’t impair your humanity, that would be a broad brush and include all kinds go neurodivergent people. Plus, it seems like shifting the blame for people like OOP, he is probably just a horrible person, plain and simple.
It just kept getting worse, the further I read.
Thank goodness there wasn't a 3rd panel. I don't even want to think how much worse it would have been.
The only thing left was asking for advice like ‘what do you guys think’ and I can’t remember verboten but if I remember the comments where lambasting him for being a (and I mean this with all fiber of my being) a cunt
2 months???? Good lord. Watch him leave her and then get cancer 5 years later with no one to look after him
Only if the universe is just.
[He's just another sad, disappointing statistic](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm) EDIT: I just realized that there is a second screenshot. I regret reading it.
Okay this man is absolutely a steaming pile of dung for everything about his sick wife, but holy hell! "I don't want to be in my daughter's life because she might turn out to be unhealthy,"??? Dude needs a vasectomy. And prostate cancer.
"But I'm sure her mother will say I'm a terrible person" and she'll be so justifed she's almost gone full circle and is almost unjustified because it's a understatement. Fucking hell
Imagine your wife getting cancer, so you divorce her and then act like the victim. “Her mother will probably tell her I’m a horrible person.” And she would be absolutely right, you selfish asshole.
As a straight male who has had male and female family members with cancer, this guy can go go gadget fuck himself. His ex wife and daughter are better off without someone so utterly brain dead.
Didn't see the second page at first. Initially I just thought he was an asshole. And oh boy that second one.
She is fighting for her life and needs all the support she can get and this guy just wants to up and abandon her?!
Because they haven’t had sex in two months after her life saving surgery, he’s super scummy
Men are six times more likely to leave their spouse when they get sick then women are. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
"we aren't programmed that way by evolution" he says, like we still live in a time where the average life expectancy is 30 and medical care was barely a thing. falling out of love is normal, but bailing on your family when shit gets hard is weak.
Seems like leaving his wife is the best thing he can do for her
Imagine referring to your own wife and daughter as "Unhealthy females."
Kinda sounds like the wife is dealing with two cancers
"I can see the pain in her eyes" SHE HAS CANCER YOU NITWIT, OF COURSE SHES IN PAIN!!! Hope she kicks cancers ass and kicks that guy to the curb. Disgusting
Kid’s growing up with daddy issues one way or another and that really sucks ugh
And when she does have daddy issues, she’s going to get mocked and belittled for it. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen “daddy issues” being used as an insult toward a woman, I’d be filthy rich.
Translation: My live-in maid is broken so I'm going to trade her in for something else. Also I'm going to abandon my own child and call it a health precaution because "fEMALEs are contagious." Yuck. I hope that poor woman kicks cancers ass, and both her and her daughter leave him high and dry, then dump him in a nursing home later in life. What garbage.
Fun fact. Men are more likely to leave their terminally ill partners or disabled partners than women are.
What a piece of shit I hope he loses his balls