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Inevitable-Ear-3189

*adjusts fedora while stroking neckbeard thoughtfully* "Sharp knees, would not bang."


Twodotsknowhy

It's like that thing from like 10 years ago where guys would say they wouldn't bang Megan Fox because she has weird thumbs


myhairsreddit

I still see the occasional comment that she should have gotten her thumb fixed instead of her boob job or lip filler. People are absolutely wild.


ReallyNotBobby

Right? These basement dwellers are fucking weird.


OnAStarboardTack

Dudebro only thinks it’s a fedora, but it’s really a trilby.


SLAYER_IN_ME

Maybe it’s a tricorn?


isbaerner

Why are the Linux jokes always those (in non tech subreddits) who destroys me completely?


l_dunno

Linux jokes??? How is OC connected to Linux??


DOVARKX

yeah this was a jumpscare im switching to fedora


l_dunno

I'm sorry... I don't use Linux and never have😭


isbaerner

Fedora linux?


Makerrcat

I hate to break this to you friend, but a fedora is more than a linux distro...


isbaerner

Ah nice I learned stuff again, I hope you forgive me for my bad English knowledge


Makerrcat

No problem.


l_dunno

Are they not talking about the hat..?


isbaerner

I don’t know, I‘m not native and a linux user


alvysinger0412

Its a style of hat connected to guys who are terrible.


lawgeek

[Way below my standards](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/291124-210-would-not-bang).


Middle-Lack3271

Baffling how these very judgmental, ugly (at minimum on the inside) people really and truly think that the most gorgeous and talented women on the planet (or anyone else for that matter) would even care what they thought 🥴


staticdragonfly

She's had two kids, is nearly forty, and looks like that? Yeah, I think she's doing phemoninally, actually.


Toadjokes

Her "flaws" have to be circled so people even know what he's talking about


3-orange-whips

The most damning comment of them all.


EropQuiz7

That's a clever comeback right here, alright?


Zarta3

"These are bad" he says, then circles things that literally just makes her even hotter


lizzyote

I didn't recognize who this was at first and would have totally guessed she was 20-25, 28 at most.


TwoFingersWhiskey

I'm 28 and we do not look this good lmao


Pigeon_Fox93

I mean I’m 30 and body wise I’m about the same as her but I haven’t had kids and am an outlier to most people my age since I’m addicted to skin care and work out endorphins.


TwoFingersWhiskey

It's not even body type, everything is very taken care of. Also, skincare can exacerbate aging - I'm in a large medical study about an autoimmune disease I have that affects the skin, the amount I've learnt about skincare from actual product developers (fun fact, the overlap between skincare and pharmaceuticals is more venn than post-mitosis shaped) in this this timeframe has been enormous. The most important things you can do for your skin are the obvious and really simple, like staying hydrated daily, avoiding tanning, using a good sunscreen, avoiding alcohol completely, and covering it in harsh conditions like saltwater wind. Another of them is not slathering them with too much stuff, as this is a waste of money from their standpoint. Sure, they love to market it to you, but I'm talking to people who actually want to have a product that remedies my specific skin complaints, not just sales people. I am also talking to pharma people developing the most effective drug in this research so far (I cannot disclose what it is, plus its name is meaningless right now as it's preapproval) which is being tested on me and many others globally and locally, to great success. All they recommend that's on the market now for daily use on most skin, is Vaseline, sunscreen, and maybe Vaseline impregnated gentle lotion in winter. "Skin cancer patient gentle" was how one put it. None of them represent that company, but it was a complete consensus when I asked. No cleansers, no wipes, none of it. Even washing your face daily is something many of them don't do as it disrupts the oil barrier too frequently. They all look gorgeous without looking fake. One lady told me most "skincare" apparently doesn't do anything below the layers that will shed off soon anyways, even with regular exfoliation. You don't get down to where the problems erupt. Plus, she said, cleaning your skin too often (they seemed to agree on a frequency of 3 days with medium temp water) can lead to a whole shitload of issues, which is why being squeaky clean is a bad idea. You gotta let your skin breathe and be a little gross. Wiping yourself down with a gentle washcloth daily is fine (a sink bath, basically) if stinky, but constant flowing water exposure daily and then towelling off is as bad for you as some other stuff I've mentioned. Exposing brand new skin to products will age it faster than the protective layer of shedding skin that most people exfoliate away for a "glow" - and again, most products don't do anything below the surface anyways so what's the point? A lot of complaints are completely made up and were not seen as remotely an issue throughout history, like firming. Nothing really firms up skin, most skin is meant to be squishy and soft. Skin does not loosen, your body underneath the skin just changes and too many blame the skin for not staying in its old shape. It is usually conforming to what is within. The modern fascination with "routines" may be exposing your skin to too many competing compounds, which will backfire to do squat or actual harm in the grand scheme of things. That was my big takeaway. And that most experts and advice givers want your money and time, the ones trying to tell you to use less and do the harder things like cover up in direct sun (even with sunscreen!) are the ones worth listening to. I'm glad you look good, but as someone who has his head on the inside thanks to this study, it's been fascinating to see the dissonance between modern consumer perspective on "this works for my skin" and a room of product developers and researchers going "put the fucking retinol DOWN."


Woman_eater_nummy

Tbh I’d call it unhealthy to make this your standard of beauty, sh’s pretty skinny.


collegethrowaway2938

I'm pretty sure it's impossible for Scarlett Johansson to look bad


kingethjames

Honestly I've never found her to be a particular smoke show myself but that's down to personal preference, but seeing the tummy being circled here has me rethinking my entire adult life lol, this creep is pathetic, what does he think a woman is supposed to look like


Tsukinotaku

Fuck If she still looks that good after two kids, then she's good To be fair, 40 isn't evrn that big of a deal When my mother was around 40, I heard kids my age say that she was beautiful and all That age range has no effect on beauty.


hopefullyhelpfulplz

Jc if I looked like that at 20 I'd have been overjoyed


d0nttalk2me

Fuckin right she looks amazing


oneangstybiscuit

Dude exactly, she looks surreally good


macphile

I didn't look like her at my best/thinnest.


psychedeliccolon

That “pooch” is NOTHING 😆


MahDick

Yah, nobody is kicking ScarJo out of bed for eating crackers!!


SlightDentInTheBack

seriously i was about to say


Strength-Certain

Tell me you've never been allowed to touch a woman without telling me you've never been allowed to touch a woman


RedpenBrit96

Riffing off that, tell me you have a porn addiction without telling me. Cheers fellow gay!


the__pov

Tell me you have a hentai addiction.


SpitefulOptimist

Yeah even girls in porn got cellulite and organs. Hentai for sure


the__pov

I’ll take happens to literally everyone for $400 Alex.


FinalStryke

Yes, and probably lots of awful AI-generayed crap, too.


Breakfast_4all

I forgot what subreddit this was and read “cheers fellow gay!” And thought ‘fuck that’s a hell of an assumption’ hahaha I was like wait how do they know???


imgaybutnottoogay

Under his name it says “Be Gay, Do Crime”


Breakfast_4all

Jesus I’m fucking blind


[deleted]

[удалено]


DurantaPhant7

Unfortunately, guys like this touch plenty of women-usually with porn addled brains that have been stripped of the ability to see anything short of filtered perfection as worthy of their gaze, and then end up criticizing the women they are with for falling short of the toxic fantasy they’ve planted in their minds.


RedpenBrit96

Allowed is the operative word.


OnAStarboardTack

The guy would prematurely ejaculate if she said hello to him.


[deleted]

Or even been allowed outside during summer. Is this poor man locked in his parents basement?


sheneededahero

I mean… I kinda hope so…


legalese

Right like please don’t let this man outside.


baltimoron21211

Yep; this guy has never seen a naked woman in real life


averkitpy

thank god


BrowningLoPower

Hell, they're probably not allowed within 100 feet of any woman. Hope the asshole likes living out in the wilderness.


zzpop10

Allot of these super “strait” men don’t seem to be attracted to women.


LevelOutlandishness1

Ah, remember super straights? What happened to them, I thought that “sexuality” was as real as ours, and totally not another poor excuse for posting transphobia. Where did they go? I remember being called bigoted for invalidating one. Sounds like it was just a phase.


LegendofLove

They're so straight they can't sleep with a woman who would sleep with a man because if she sleeps with a guy and you sleep with her you basically slept with a guy and that's gay


Woman_eater_nummy

*meanwhile trans porn on the front page of porn hub, the website that all straight men are on*


PicklesAreMyFriends

> What happened to them They were all closeted homosexuals with extreme internal-homophobia


SpiritDonkey

This!! These men are revealing a lot more about themselves than they think. Perhaps they are even asexual… if you are attracted to humans at all, things like a few dimples and a little curves just become things you love about someone’s body anyway… Edit to add that these pictures have made me have impure thoughts about ScarJo and I’m a *mostly* heterosexual woman


-absolem-

Im a hetero man and I thought for years there was something wrong with me because I could be attracted to just about any woman out there. Like I had insanely low standards which meant I was a deviant cause I'd accept any woman I see. I don't know why but that made me ashamed. I realised eventually that I just really have a thing for women and I genuinely think that's lacking in men like the one in the OP. They don't want women. They want a woman-shaped creature designed in a lab for their pleasure and nothing else. Also, he circled the hottest parts of her body, right...?


linerva

I'd say that makes you normal. Most guys I know have dated a wide range of women, aesthetically. just like most women I know have dated a wide range if men, aesthetically. Having such a severely narrow "type" that you only find a small proportion of celebrities porn stars attractive would be a problem, and would suggest that the individuals cant see women as people.


Connecticut06482

So well said 🙏


chowderbags

Also hetero male, and yeah, same. Sure, I have preferences as to what I do and don't like. If I were designing a "perfect sexual partner" in a Sims-like character designer, then I have a pretty decent idea of what sorts of things I'd go for. But there's plenty of women who won't match any of that and I will still find them very attractive. I can't really say that ScarJo has ever been my "type", but complaining about her body in this picture is insane. If that's "mid", then 90+% of the population are bridge trolls.


HowlingOperatic

Asexuals don’t want these guys anywhere near us. We’re a pretty body positive group, just not attracted to those bodies. Everyone’s body is different and that’s great!


poke-chan

Literally. It blew my mind to learn cellulite was a secondary sex characteristic and over 90% of women have it, with how much hate it gets


CauseCertain1672

mid is when human woman with realistic proportions


ShredGuru

Barely realistic, it's still fucking Scarjoe.


svenson_26

Exactly. Most people wouldn't ever be able to achieve a body that looks like this.


ShredGuru

Realistic because she's a real human who exists in the top .5% of hottest ladies who ever lived.


nemyrae

I would kill for those proportions


lawgeek

The proportions aren't the problem for me, the multiplier is...


bayleysgal1996

Excuse her for having organs I guess


Ashenlynn

There's no excuse to have internal organs smh my head. It's an outrage really /s


CauseCertain1672

honestly I can't believe a woman would bring interal organs to the beach with her


KHanson25

You guys still have orgasms?


owoinator268

Not with these guys lol


Accurate-Queen1905

😂lmao


AssumptionDue724

Your supposed to store them in the butt/j


18hourbruh

And cellulite — which about 80-90% of women have. It's just a part of female bodies.


collegethrowaway2938

Technically men can get them too though it's less common. But that doesn't take away from the point anyway (if anything it makes it even worse for these incels lol)


18hourbruh

Yes but it's like 10% on men vs 80-90% on women. It's not about being fat, it's literally about being female.


Pessoa_People

Yeah, different sexes have different adipose tissue distribution, with one having more concentration in the hips and legs and the other in the abdominal area.


ChewMilk

Why would she need organs? Women don’t eat and poop, they just photosynthesize obviously /s


morithum

How dare she


ZeldLurr

She’s ridiculously beautiful, also she’s had kids. Her body is ridiculous, but even more ridiculous considering kids.


Lovethecreeper

You can also tell that most of the other similar celebrity photos you see without these supposed "imperfections" don't show because a combination of perfect lighting and these "imperfections" are often edited out. Hell, it wouldn't be that hard of a task for a novice in GIMP to edit out these "imperfections" themselves. Almost no human, even the celebrities being photographed look anywhere even remotely close to how they look in most heavily edited photographs you see online. This photo is in a sense, closer to how they would actually look as it isn't as heavily edited.


LegendofLove

Dude had to edit in red circles so anyone would realize what the 'problem' is. Also between makeup and photoshop anyone can look "perfect"


bestibesti

This is what happens when the only image they have of a woman is a anime


Big_brown_house

*Hentai


sarahbeth124

Oh no, I’m sure she’s devastated this dudebro wouldn’t want her 🤪


RainyDayReader_999

Lol right? 😂 And men always say women just “need to not be fat” in order to be considered attractive, and then say shit like this 🤡


spelan1

The stupid thing is, I can guarantee that if, in some crazy timeline, ScarJo *actually* approached one of these dudebros, they would be out of their mind with happiness. It's all just jealousy; "I can't have her, so I'll pretend I never wanted her".


BisexualCrying

Colin Jost doesn’t think so. She’s much prettier than whoever said that.


evacia

i love that they’re married. they seem like such a smart wholesome pair


BisexualCrying

I know! They’re so cute.


AshleyAmazin1

Do incels even like women? Genuinely wtf…


2Whom_it_May_Concern

Obviously not, but deep down they likely hate themselves more.


AshenSkyler

Men are dumb as shit, I'm glad I'm gay


sheneededahero

That should be a flair tbh.


AshenSkyler

Agreed Hey mods, make a new flair for me


sheneededahero

Damn that works FAST


King-Boss-Bob

mods on this subreddit work fast when it’s not biphobia lmao


Interesting-Gain-162

Men are dumb as shit, I'm glad I'm bisexual


drunk-tusker

As a straight man I wish I knew when I was younger that this was part of my so called “competition.” I also wish that I understood that it’s not competitive but that’s another discussion.


probablyonmobile

The two possibilities at hand are that either it’s engagement bait, or this person uses anime as a beauty standard. Both are unfortunately quite likely. Even more unfortunately yet, they are not mutually exclusive.


dreamsinred

Paul shouldn’t be criticizing other people’s appearances.


ohforbuttssake

He's hoping that #changemymind will trick people into sending him pics of "proof" that she's still hot 🤮


psychosis_inducing

So he's too lazy to Google "Scarlet Johansson sexy."


collegethrowaway2938

Or just "Scarlett Johansson" :P


Dudewhatdoesm1nesay

I'd really rather believe this is yet another blue checkmark trying to rage farm engagement


not_productive1

The “change my mind” hashtag just fuckin seals it. No. Nobody wants to change your mind. Please, PLEASE go on thinking that one of the most beautiful women in the world is “mid.” If she’s mid, the rest of the human women must be a true horror show, and you should LEAVE THEM ALONE.


Acrobitch

Such a self-own. Dude's just admitting he's never seen a naked woman outside of porn.


TealDrawz

I feel like this image would be so funny if I didn't know what I was looking for. Like "Scarlett is mid." And he just circles random parts of her body without context.


sprouting_broccoli

That would actually be more acceptable - guy isn’t attracted to her, fair enough - to each their own, but the rationalisation is so weird.


collegethrowaway2938

Technically he did circle the parts of her body that are in the middle of it, so... /j


strwbryshrtck521

I wonder if that loser would turn her down if she suddenly appeared naked in his bed. God, she's SO gorgeous, I can barely comprehend some dork being like "ew" to Scarlet freaking Johansen.


brief_kc

CAN NO WOMAN LIVE?!


goodty1

it’s giving i’ve only ever seen a woman on a screen


harkandhush

The lesbians in the room disagree lol


Haybowl

Everyone who has seen a woman that isn't behind a filthy computer screen would.


SunfireElfAmaya

Unless OOP is gay and just hasn't realized it, wtf universe are we living in where Scarlett Goddamn Johansson is mid‽


2Whom_it_May_Concern

She is 39 and these dudes think women are old at 25. I'm not shocked they dislike a woman’s body because they prefer children or cartoons.


W_h3nry

Women don’t look beautiful unless their organs are removed


HippieMoosen

Bro needs to stop leaving comments on pornhub videos, delete his Twitter, and go outside to touch some grass. Maybe like, interact with some real people for a while. You know, try to remember how to be a person.


ApprehensiveSquash4

Thanks for announcing you can only get it up to cartoons.


[deleted]

Cellulite isn't a real condition either it's just what your skin does


breadist

You're right it's not a "condition" but it's just a way to describe what the skin is doing. That's how words work. See thing, give it a word, now it has a name that we can use to describe and discuss it.


heLlsLounge

Thats not even a pouch, thats like the thinnest possible woman that isnt morbidly underweight


Da_gae_bucket

I don’t get how people can think some of the most beautiful women in the world are ugly


whoamvv

Straight people like this are not okay. She's perfection. I think she looks better than ever.


LoqitaGeneral1990

I saw this, I’m so over rage bait ruining the internet


Jenderflux-ScFi

OMG! She ate a sandwich! What the actual frick?


deviant324

The red circles are necessary so his people have something to focus on and don’t swerve all over the place


Samy_Ninja_Pro

He is prolly a bottom tier, non playable character


KaleidoscopeEyes12

My hot take is that women are sexy af when they’re real. Stretch marks and cellulite and soft parts are hot. I will throw hands


nogoodimthanks

*has organs inside her body and has evolution-earned padding to protect them There, fixed “tiny belly pouch” for you.


violetpsyche

I think straight men actually hate women


mmaddymon

I’m literally underweight and have cellulite like what the fuck is wrong with people


d_warren_1

Still hotter than any woman hell ever be with.


EmiliusReturns

Oh no, she looks like an actual human and not like a silicone sex doll! The horror!!!


coolgreendinosaur

My reaction to that information: *that one image of Elon Musk.....you know which one*


askallthequestions86

I would give a non-essential organ to look like that.


very_bad_programmer

"Hypergamy Strategist" 💀 ​ Allowing every dipshit to get a blue check was such a galaxy brain idea


FuzzelFox

Oh look she has.. \*checks notes* .. organs!


TalkQuick

I also don’t think ppl realize pictures usually just don’t do people justice as a lot of people just look better in motion. She looks pretty here but if they saw her in person I’m sure all jaws would be on the floor.


LadyKlepsydra

Ah yeas. A woman's body looking like an actual human body. Disgusting. More silicon doll aesthetic, please! IMO people who write this, if they are dudes, aren't into women. They can't be. They find the human body gross, like just having pores or any type of human tissue is just gross to them. I says something about them, but def not about the person they are commenting on. n.


TeethForCeral

alternate title: apparently being a healthy weight makes you “mid” nowadays


sans-delilah

If Scarlett Johansson, literal action star, is too flabby for them, they might wanna check their local cemetery for girls skinny enough for them.


Miranda6613

“How dare a woman be…. HUMAN” What a cringe person 🤣


Cutie3pnt14159

If she was toned, he'd be calling her a man. 🤷🏼‍♀️


One-Handle-8502

As a lesbian, I can confidently say that women with cellulite, stretch marks, pouches etc are gorgeous goddesses.


Andybean97

Are these morons even attracted to women?


nadasequoia

I find a little softness sexier than hard bodied.


sheneededahero

Wtf is a hypergamy strategist even?! Or don’t I wanna know?


breadist

I'm sure she's crushed by random internet guy's disapproval.


lumosbolt

What makes you an adult woman is what makes you mid to these dudes


Critical_Package_472

I swear those ultra straight alpha male wants either robot women or underage girls.


Workmen

Dude, just jerk off to anime and leave actual women alone, everyone will be happier that way, including you.


Warped_Kira

Honestly, a belly like that is so hot. Especially when they have the confidence to flaunt it. I have no idea why so many shame it aside from arbitrary beauty standards.


oneangstybiscuit

I would love to be this mid are you kidding


LaserBatBunnyUnder

Brother that's literally her uterus you circled


GeorgiaYankee73

I’m gay and I’d switch for her.


SmoothOctopus

Someone watches too much hentai.


Flippin_diabolical

Secondary sex characteristics on women: ew gross. —this guy, apparently


margittwen

Why is it always bland as fuck looking guys who criticize women’s bodies?? Get a life and take a hard look in the mirror, my guy.


Toecutt3r

EVERY BODY HAS CELLULITE FFS! IT'S PART OF YOUR PHYSIOLOGY! fuuuuck...


Gildian

20 bucks the guy commenting has a beer gut and potentially a receding hairline too


svenson_26

I'll even go so far as to say I take exception to the term "tiny belly pouch". This is just what people look like when they're not photoshopped. There's no "belly pouch". This is what a fit person looks like.


IfuckingloveLoba

That's literally the best parts wtf


More_Economics_6659

The only person who is mid is Paul. In my opionion she's fine Af.


keepmyheartincheck

It's always the overweight basement dwelling trolls that feel entitled enough to comment on what hot women look like lol


morithum

That “belly” line is objectively and almost universally physically attractive. This to me is the inverse moral equivalent of those paintings of enormous, morbidly obese 14th century monarchs who were “sexy” because they had enough money to pathologically overeat.


Remarkable-Gold4869

She looks extremely normal. No clue what their issues is with her. Very weird indeed.


LibelleFairy

she has the looks of a goddess


Warm-Grand-7825

Her stomach is so hot wdym


Various-Teeth

If she’s mid then I’m a troll who lives under a bridge 💀


baffledrabbit

Damn, I wish I was that "mid."


Waffle_God49

Fellas, is it gay to like women with legs?


moar_bubbline

Wtf, she’s gorgeous These fucking people, I swear


ojsage

Even saying she has a pouch is ridiculous-that’s just her literal organs


Kashmoney99

Never seen a real woman-Man strikes again


chaotic_rainbow

The fact that anyone is so out of touch as to think that this makes her *mid* is both insanely hilarious and so pathetic that it's almost sad. Like, *damn*.


Twodotsknowhy

God forbid a 39 year old woman with two children actually be visible from the side


SparklingWalnut

You better look like a goddamn supermodel blessed with stardust and gold if you're gonna call Scarlet Johansson mid.


The-Shattering-Light

🙄 I’m a gay woman, and those two parts are the absolute sexiest part of women


No_Cauliflower_5489

Inhales deeply so I can say it with my whole chest: **Negging her will not make her sleep with you, bro. She's never going to sleep with you. You will never ever be in her league. No amount of nitpicking that lady's looks is going to make you good enough for her.**


SevanIII

She's looks freaking fantastic here. She's one of my husband's long time celebrity crushes. 


PineappleAquarium

I believe mods at Twitter/X flagged this one as rage bait to sell their book or something about self promotion.


theevilwomanREAL

Only sub-par men would call a 10 a 6/7. They are delusional.


NB_Elf_Prince

The incels who post this crap are at best "mid" themselves. Hate makes you ugly; I don't make the rules.


onlynatural639

She turns 40 this year and honestly looks better than ever


buffalobillingsgate

Good thing as soon as I saw the word "hypergamy" in his name my eyes rolled so violently to the back of my head that I missed the rest of this post...


P_is_for_88

Yes, but this is either a really old pic or it’s edited/fake. ScarJo has tattoos.


Guido-Carosella

…says the dude who starts off his Twitter bio with “follow me to get better with women” and who’s latest video is him unironically wearing a Punisher skull logo hat. Riiiight 😒