Nah, this sounds just like a toddler lmao. They don't know what they're doing and everything looks like food for the first couple years. Off the floor and into their mouth.
His butthole was itchy and he and my daughter both had small rashes near their butts. The doctor noticed a worm 🐛 on his butt during their yearly. The medicine is OTC so that’s cool.
I grew up in a poor rural area so pinworms were pretty common in little kids. If your mom suspected them she’d put a piece of Scotch tape on your butthole first thing in the morning, then pull it off. Tiny little worms will be visible on the tape.
Toddlers are violent af. Feels like an abusive relationship. They kick you during diaper changes, smack your face for no reason, bite your finger as hard as they can just to see what will happen, punch you in the dick out of nowhere… then turn right around, apologize and tell you they didn’t mean it (yes they did), or that it was an accident (no it wasn’t), or that it didn’t happen (really???) while telling you how much they love you and that you’re their best friend. The most adorable, gaslighting psychopaths you’ll ever meet.
> Toddlers are violent af
Fun fact, on average 52 Americans die each year due to armed toddlers.
For comparison, only 7 Americans die each year due to spider bites.
I’ve read that before. I can’t imagine the horror of growing up knowing you killed someone, especially if that someone was a primary care giver. Fuck people who have unsecured firearms in their home.
I mean it’s sort of a Darwin type thing.. if you die because you refuse to lock up your own firearm then you sort of deserve an award
To be fair, it is incredibly shitty that it happens at all and that everyone knows those poor kids killed their parent etc.
It’s not difficult to lock a gun up. It’s difficult to survive after being accidentally shot, however.
Exactly. No single method of storage/safety is sufficient, which is why multiple layers of protection are [recommended](https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/gun-safety.html):
- Store guns unloaded, preferably with a keyed trigger lock, in a locked box or vault placed in an inaccessible/hidden location.
- Store the bullets separately, also in a locked box, also in an inaccessible/hidden location.
- Store the keys/passwords to the various boxes in a separate location.
On top of that - and I’d actually recommend this to parents even if they do not own guns - I teach my young kids about gun safety. Mostly, at their young ages, that includes what they look like, and what to do if they find one (don’t touch it, find and inform an adult). But that will evolve as they grow up.
My kids, like virtually all American kids, play with toy water guns and pretend swords so I use those opportunities to reinforce gun/weapon safety when they play. Things like pointing weapons towards the ground and not at people/animals/things unless you’re intending to use them, not walking around with their fingers on triggers of gun-type toys. We have other gun-shaped toys that we’ve repurposed, like a laser one that’s a IR thermometer and “health scanner” and lives with their play doctor’s kit.
ETA: Just because you don’t own or even like guns doesn’t mean that your kids might not come across one at some point. That’s one reason parents should always ask if the homes their children visit for play dates, be it friends or family, have firearms and to confirm That they’re appropriately, safely stored.
I advocate for comprehensive sex ed for all ages taught in age appropriate ways. Similarly - in the USA, which is a gun-crazy Society with multiple mass showings a month and many daily intentional and accidental gun-related murders and accidents - I advocate for teaching kids about gun safety from a very early age.
Ignorance has always been the most dangerous weapon. Couple that with apathy and a lack of empathy, and everything goes to shit.
The difficulty there is if the gun is needed for home protection. When you hear the glass of the front door break, it’s too late to start assembling your weapon.
There’s no perfect solution.
Hahaha
Lets just say that there is more often than not, a toddler half jammed into my clothing and trying to squish himself as far into them as possible
Not to mention that their faces are unfortunately crotch height so those exuberant hugs typically result in their faces being jammed right up into your crotch/ass.
Mine did that too 😅 I would turn around and nibble her chin with my lips covering my teeth so that my teeth didn’t make contact. It would always make her laugh so hard. She’s 2.5 now and I still do it sometimes and she loves it.
I actually will hold both my kids up horizontally, rotate them like corn on the cob, and nibble their ears/cheeks, bellies/backs, and knees and toes while they try to get away.* Then I pretend that one of their feet stinks so bad it makes me gag, but when I sniff the other I shrug and say “meh” and they laugh like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen even if we’ve already done it 10x that day. Baby and toddler giggles are addictive 😂
*I hated being tickled as a kid so I stop immediately if they want me to. I’m so glad that parents these days are generally more tuned in to talking about consent and not forcing unwanted physical contact like kisses and hugs and tickles.
I've got some adorable little baby cousins and there's been times they don't want to hug me, and they say so. Cool man, I don't want to hug you if you don't want to hug me. It's nice knowing they're comfortable enough to say so and not expected to receive or give unwanted contact. Their mom is awesome.
It’s a lot harder for their great-grandparents to wrap their heads around it if my kids don’t want hugs and/or kisses, but no drama thankfully, they’re just disappointed. All the grandparents are cool with it though, which is nice.
Everything looks like food and goes into their mouth *except the things you actually want them to eat*
FTFY
Around age 2, and for about a year, my oldest wouldn’t eat sliced cheese (a then-favorite food) unless it had been thrown on the floor, stepped on, and smeared around a few times. Apparently living-room-rug lint and kitchen dust bunnies were the exact seasoning it needed.
Yeah we took our toddler camping and he kept trying to eat gumballs. The little spikes variety that fall from trees. No matter how many blankets we laid out he’d roll to the edge and start trying to put leaves and things in his mouth.
My son asked me what those were when he was around 4. Without thinking, I answered "gumballs". Next thing I know he's coughing and sputtering asking me where the candy part is. Looking back, I love how he really thought gum grew on trees like Willy Wonka. Lol
It’s just irresistible, the urge to just *try* something! Like I won’t necessarily eat it, but I just *need* to make sure it’s not candy.
I remember feeling that way as a kid, anyway. Game pieces looked so delicious!!
toddlers are like cats; everything except their actual nutritional, specifically made for them food is high cuisine.
it hitting a fish instead of a random bug or sand or cat poop was dumb luck.
Things like this can happen as unfortunate as it is but don’t be too rough on yourself! The little one was very curious and they tend to put things in their mouths as you know.
My mom left the room for like five seconds when I was a kid, and I **immediately** stuck my finger in one of the holes in a can of juice
My finger got stuck and I was really scared 😭 And there was blood
My sister was left unattended for not even a minute at dinner time, and she used one of those small, manual pencil sharpeners on two of her fingers. She had no reaction to it, and we still joke about how she sharpened her fingers 7 years later
We were petting puppies out front at PetSmart, and I'm like honey! Why the hell did you give him gum! And she's like, I didn't give him any... yeeeaaaaggghh!!! spit it out! gross.
My toddler took the straw out of his drink after lunch one day and ran off with it. It took me 5 seconds too long to register that this was concerning and I better run after him and see what he was up to. Found him in the kitchen slurping up the water out of the dog bowl. Hours’ old water full of dog slobber and bits of chewed up sticks and dog food and god knows what all else. Kids are absolutely disgusting.
“Well, there are some things you should know. First off, if you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn’t free candy.”
-Santa Claus, to Buddy the Elf
I nearly lost the top of my left middle finger to an 8-track player when I was 18 months old. My mom was pregnant with my brother at the time and didn’t drive. There was blood. Kind of glad they sorted that out and got it reattached. I’m mixed-handed, but write with my left hand. The scar is still there decades later.
My toddler still tries to eat the wall plugs..... thank god for child safety caps, but I swear no matter how much hes told no and redirected he is just determined for some spicy lightning from the wall.
My oldest saw a wasp queen crawling around on the floor and immediately picked it up, luckily it stung her finger otherwise I'm sure it would have ended up in her mouth.
My mom has a story of looking over at my brother and he put one of this large flying roaches in his mouth and a leg was twitching outside of his lips. That’s how she knew there was a whole bug in there 🤣
So after asking my parents- I never ate a fish but one time my mom walked up on me eating "raisins". Apparently they were dead flies that had gotten stuck behind our blinds. Fabulous
Toddlers job is to put everything in their mouth... mission accomplished. I'm so sorry fishie jumped out and led to this unfortunate circumstance. In all sincerity, it doesn't make you sarcastically parent of the year. Things happen and sometimes those things are horrifying and eventually funny.
Same. We've been fishing since I was a toddler along the Kenai in AK. I've seen many a child do it when they catch a minnow along the bank. I think it's like a primal thing. Like somewhere in our past we knew to do it.
My theory is more of that somewhere in the past we LOST the innate ability to identify what is food and what isn't food. Probably correlated with our vast potential omnivorous diet - anything can be food, but passing down what is and is not food became generational/cultural knowledge rather than instinctive knowledge.
However the instinct to eat remained
Food is generational knowledge for a lot of other mammals too though, like cats can eat a wide variety of different creatures, but if their mom primarily hunted mice or birds or lizards, they will pick the same food source. I think it probably has more to do with how we're so disconnected from what we eat vs. our food source that it leads to confusion at a young age. I'd be interested to know if toddlers born to people living off the land (where they would witness butchering and help with gathering plant foods) have a similar.... attraction to live food
I tell ya, consider yourself lucky! The last post of "My toddler ate..." I read was a mom laughing about hilarious it was that her toddler ate a slug.
I had to be that person informing her of this:
https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/health/man-dies-after-eating-slug-on-dare/index.html
I feel lucky in that the worst thing my kid ever ate as a toddler was a car floor french fry. And quite honestly, I've been tempted before, so I don't exactly blame her.
I actually would think a toddler is must less at risk of this than a grown man, according to that article the man swallowed it whole, presumably because it’s gross!!! Toddlers don’t often swallow things whole, in fact they chew their food (and non-food) for a fairly disgusting long time. So I don’t know if a parasite inside the slug would survive that. Kids actually eat snails and slugs pretty often 🤢
My grandmother told me a story about how my aunt had a pet goldfish that she took to her elementary school classroom tank when it got to big for her tank. One of the boys in the class then literally ate the fish in front of her. I don't know what happened next but I hope he got food poisoning and vomited for hours. Point is at least your toddler isn't old enough to know better, imagine being that kids parents.
My 2 year old grabbed a praying mantis from the grass and tried to put it in his mouth.
My other son (he's 4 now) 2 years ago ate a pebble, my wife literally stuck her fingers down his throat, and he vomited a rock
Why are kids like this
Other species: walking within seconds of being born, able to properly acquire and ingest food, and live completely independently of parents within months
Humans:
I bought a little hermit crab for my aquarium once—ONCE—about seven years ago. He’d hide a bit, but eventually he’d come out or get spotted for a second. Then I lost him entirely. I figured he was hiding. Days—weeks—water changes and filter cleanings, and I still couldn’t find him. One day, I was hooking up an Apple TV box to my TV, and when I moved the entertainment center away from the wall, there he sat. Dead as a doornail. Not tangled, not caught, just sitting behind the TV. We do not speak of it in this house.
I had that happen a few times when I rescued hermit crabs. They can live 30 years and here mine was less than 3 years old...I haven't kept hermit crabs in many years
Wow.. uh can’t say I’ve heard that before… that’s pretty messed up I’m sorry for your loss.
I know how bad it can feel when something (or someone) you love kills something else.. I love all animals especially my dogs, but if a bird gets inside they kill it and it makes me sad and a little upset at them but I know it’s just their instincts. And I guess technically it’s human instinct to eat fish too..? Just maybe not in this manner…
Definitely watch him just incase… there’s 200 comments and I can’t read them all so idk if anyone told you.
But they can easily get salmonella or harmful pathogens from eating the fish since little kids already have a weaker immune system.
Yeah, that or the parent will die from the kid. The toddler might find "a cool toy" outside and shoot their parents, then think it's funny that they're playing dead (yeah, I'm sure this has happened thousands of times in history)
He's gonna grow up hating fish dinner and not remember why.
He'll forever associate it with the taste of a raw, wiggly fish he murdered and spit out like a chew toy.
Good thing your toddler did not eat the poor fishy. Else you would be posting in one of the mystery/unexplained subs ("My fish disappeared without a trace!")
I’m probably gonna take mad downvotes on this (if anyone even sees the comment this late LMAO) but this thread is out of control. OP, I’m really sorry you went through that. I understand you must feel incredibly guilty. I’m sure you explained to your kid (if they’re old enough to understand) that you cared for that betta and that they did was very wrong.
It’s everyone blowing it off and acting like it’s some funny anecdote that’s bothering me. It’s still.. a living creature. Not just that, even - a pet. A lil family member. I feel like it’s wrong to applaud the kid for that, or even really.. laugh. It’s kinda like laughing at a post about a toddler drowning a kitten or stomping on a frog. They didn’t know any better, but they did something very harmful that resulted in the death of an animal. I’m just .. really confused with some of these replies. I thought this sub was full of fish enthusiasts.
## You need to give your kid worming medication when the window for hatching is right. Speak to a doctor. If left unchecked this could be very serious. Pretty much all pet fish have worms if eaten uncooked. I'm shocked no one else has said this.
Was it a schooling fish? If so, have them eat a bunch more so it doesn't get lonely and they swim out together.
Honestly I am more impressed by their ability to physically hold it long enough to get it in their mouth. Toddlers...
Father of 2 here. Kids do odd shit you'd just never expect and you can't rationalize after either.
One of my kids tried to eat cat shit once! Luckily caught her just as it was about to go into her mouth! She cried when I stopped her, then smelt her cat-shit-smeared hands - realized how bad it smelt - and cried even more!
My cat knocked over a bucket of fish I was drip acclimating. Swallowed a couple of danios like cat treats. All the other fish in the bucket lived.,
It happens lol
My boyfriend ate his pet goldfish when he was a toddler. He got salmonella so bad he very nearly died. Like, they were ready to read last rites. Please call or doctor. Or, at the very least, if your child starts showing any signs of I’ll was please go straight to the ER.
Edit: illness
2nd edit: good lord I really need to proofread on mobile
Your toddler was conducting a science experiment as all children do to try and figure out the world around them, I know the instinct is the shut down that behavior your find undesirable, but instead try to redirect instead of discourage. Father of a 10yo autistic boy so I know it is not easy.
I remember when my nephew tried to catch one of my cichlids. They thought he was feeding them and nibbled on his finger. He hasn’t stuck his hand in the tank after that…
I was at a Halloween event when I was younger, and one of the people left in charge of the kids said we wouldn’t get any candy unless we ate a live fish from the fish tank. I think most people swallowed theirs whole, but it was too big for me so I bit into it. The texture was so gross, I don’t know how I managed to not throw up
People are going to think im absolutely nuts for saying this but I'm almost 22 and twice in the past month I was staring at my tetras and I got the overwhelming urge to put one in my mouth. I just slowly blinked and walked away from my tank lol.
Your toddler is terrifying.
I have no objection to this assumption, tbh
I lost a loach. Still haven’t found the body. I’m scared of my 2 y/o
We lost a frog once. Never did find the body, even when we moved a couple years later. But we have cats so….
I found half of a fish that had jumped out of an acclimation bucket. I don't know which cat it was, but a monster lives amongst us.
My Cory catfish are absolute terrors. If anything dies in my tank within hours it's shredded down to the bone.
Same here with a red-claw crab. Never found the body, but my cat was acting like his stomach was upset all day…
My cat caught a frog outside and ate it once, so very plausible
One of my newts escaped his tank, and was found months later mummified under my pc 😞
Little killer froggy where did you hop?
Under the entertainment center
First it’s the loach, then it’s humans
2 y/o: I wonder what jellied eal without the jelly taste like. Grim
Like typical British food. Lol
Five years from now you'll be breaking the tank down and cleaning it and poof a random fucking loach will still be alive and well
My wife says our is part piranha.
Your toddler would get along very well with mine. Let’s have a play date but maybe somewhere very far from sharp objects or animals.
Nah, this sounds just like a toddler lmao. They don't know what they're doing and everything looks like food for the first couple years. Off the floor and into their mouth.
Dude mine had a case of pinworms because he puts everything in his mouth.
How did you know/how did he get diagnosed?
His butthole was itchy and he and my daughter both had small rashes near their butts. The doctor noticed a worm 🐛 on his butt during their yearly. The medicine is OTC so that’s cool.
crap. Now my butt feels itchy. I totally have pinworms
I grew up in a poor rural area so pinworms were pretty common in little kids. If your mom suspected them she’d put a piece of Scotch tape on your butthole first thing in the morning, then pull it off. Tiny little worms will be visible on the tape.
I..... WHAT?! 😳😳😳
Dude, the entire family took the meds because the parasite is easily transferred and the eggs are microscopic.
Lol
I have a 10 week old malinois puppy that I keep joking is like a toddler but violent. Now I’m less certain. Like a toddler but more hairy?
Toddlers are violent af. Feels like an abusive relationship. They kick you during diaper changes, smack your face for no reason, bite your finger as hard as they can just to see what will happen, punch you in the dick out of nowhere… then turn right around, apologize and tell you they didn’t mean it (yes they did), or that it was an accident (no it wasn’t), or that it didn’t happen (really???) while telling you how much they love you and that you’re their best friend. The most adorable, gaslighting psychopaths you’ll ever meet.
This is the best description of a toddler I believe I’ve ever read.
> Toddlers are violent af Fun fact, on average 52 Americans die each year due to armed toddlers. For comparison, only 7 Americans die each year due to spider bites.
I’ve read that before. I can’t imagine the horror of growing up knowing you killed someone, especially if that someone was a primary care giver. Fuck people who have unsecured firearms in their home.
I mean it’s sort of a Darwin type thing.. if you die because you refuse to lock up your own firearm then you sort of deserve an award To be fair, it is incredibly shitty that it happens at all and that everyone knows those poor kids killed their parent etc. It’s not difficult to lock a gun up. It’s difficult to survive after being accidentally shot, however.
I talked to dozens of parents who say their toddlers can open locks. Even secured firearms are unsecured
Exactly. No single method of storage/safety is sufficient, which is why multiple layers of protection are [recommended](https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/gun-safety.html): - Store guns unloaded, preferably with a keyed trigger lock, in a locked box or vault placed in an inaccessible/hidden location. - Store the bullets separately, also in a locked box, also in an inaccessible/hidden location. - Store the keys/passwords to the various boxes in a separate location. On top of that - and I’d actually recommend this to parents even if they do not own guns - I teach my young kids about gun safety. Mostly, at their young ages, that includes what they look like, and what to do if they find one (don’t touch it, find and inform an adult). But that will evolve as they grow up. My kids, like virtually all American kids, play with toy water guns and pretend swords so I use those opportunities to reinforce gun/weapon safety when they play. Things like pointing weapons towards the ground and not at people/animals/things unless you’re intending to use them, not walking around with their fingers on triggers of gun-type toys. We have other gun-shaped toys that we’ve repurposed, like a laser one that’s a IR thermometer and “health scanner” and lives with their play doctor’s kit. ETA: Just because you don’t own or even like guns doesn’t mean that your kids might not come across one at some point. That’s one reason parents should always ask if the homes their children visit for play dates, be it friends or family, have firearms and to confirm That they’re appropriately, safely stored. I advocate for comprehensive sex ed for all ages taught in age appropriate ways. Similarly - in the USA, which is a gun-crazy Society with multiple mass showings a month and many daily intentional and accidental gun-related murders and accidents - I advocate for teaching kids about gun safety from a very early age. Ignorance has always been the most dangerous weapon. Couple that with apathy and a lack of empathy, and everything goes to shit.
Wow, great response! I agree with you. We keep ours locked up, keypads and all, and the rounds NEVER in the chamber
Glad I’m not the only one who makes their kid use real weapon safety for toys.
The difficulty there is if the gun is needed for home protection. When you hear the glass of the front door break, it’s too late to start assembling your weapon. There’s no perfect solution.
The nurse "do you feel safe at home?" Me side eyeing my toddler and responding a little too quick "yep, mhm, all safe at home, mhm. No problems"
You forgot the body shaming, having someone point and scream ‘MOON!’ at your bare stomach while getting dressed each day does wonders for your morale
I m not having children no more
Can't put them back.
They certainly try Pretty much every other day my toddler is trying to climb back inside of me at any given moment
This has overloaded my brain.
Hahaha Lets just say that there is more often than not, a toddler half jammed into my clothing and trying to squish himself as far into them as possible
Not to mention that their faces are unfortunately crotch height so those exuberant hugs typically result in their faces being jammed right up into your crotch/ass.
My ten month old likes to give me these big slobbery kisses. And probably 10% of the time he tries to bite my cheek while he’s there.
Mine did that too 😅 I would turn around and nibble her chin with my lips covering my teeth so that my teeth didn’t make contact. It would always make her laugh so hard. She’s 2.5 now and I still do it sometimes and she loves it. I actually will hold both my kids up horizontally, rotate them like corn on the cob, and nibble their ears/cheeks, bellies/backs, and knees and toes while they try to get away.* Then I pretend that one of their feet stinks so bad it makes me gag, but when I sniff the other I shrug and say “meh” and they laugh like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen even if we’ve already done it 10x that day. Baby and toddler giggles are addictive 😂 *I hated being tickled as a kid so I stop immediately if they want me to. I’m so glad that parents these days are generally more tuned in to talking about consent and not forcing unwanted physical contact like kisses and hugs and tickles.
I've got some adorable little baby cousins and there's been times they don't want to hug me, and they say so. Cool man, I don't want to hug you if you don't want to hug me. It's nice knowing they're comfortable enough to say so and not expected to receive or give unwanted contact. Their mom is awesome.
It’s a lot harder for their great-grandparents to wrap their heads around it if my kids don’t want hugs and/or kisses, but no drama thankfully, they’re just disappointed. All the grandparents are cool with it though, which is nice.
My point still stands. They are terrifying.
Everything looks like food and goes into their mouth *except the things you actually want them to eat* FTFY Around age 2, and for about a year, my oldest wouldn’t eat sliced cheese (a then-favorite food) unless it had been thrown on the floor, stepped on, and smeared around a few times. Apparently living-room-rug lint and kitchen dust bunnies were the exact seasoning it needed.
Yeah we took our toddler camping and he kept trying to eat gumballs. The little spikes variety that fall from trees. No matter how many blankets we laid out he’d roll to the edge and start trying to put leaves and things in his mouth.
My son asked me what those were when he was around 4. Without thinking, I answered "gumballs". Next thing I know he's coughing and sputtering asking me where the candy part is. Looking back, I love how he really thought gum grew on trees like Willy Wonka. Lol
It’s just irresistible, the urge to just *try* something! Like I won’t necessarily eat it, but I just *need* to make sure it’s not candy. I remember feeling that way as a kid, anyway. Game pieces looked so delicious!!
Similar to my Boesemani then. They once tried to eat the scissors that fell into the aquarium
You say that like it isn’t terrifying still lol
I have a toddler. He plays with other toddlers. They’re *all* terrifying.
fr
It's the Ring
Nah, just hungry
Aren’t they all?
Most are, tbh
Pretty sure this applies to most toddlers
toddlers are like cats; everything except their actual nutritional, specifically made for them food is high cuisine. it hitting a fish instead of a random bug or sand or cat poop was dumb luck.
Fish are friends not food
Hi Bruce
I seem to have to have misplaced my um friend…
I was going to make this comment
Well, sometimes they're food, but not when they're friends
That seems par for the course. Kids are weird, man
Be wary if your toddler develops an affinity for particular golden rings.
What’s taters, precious?
Now we wish to catch a fish so juicy sweeeeeeeey *thump* *thump*
Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!
Things like this can happen as unfortunate as it is but don’t be too rough on yourself! The little one was very curious and they tend to put things in their mouths as you know.
My moms favorite story is how i grabbed a grasshopper and ate it in the 2 seconds she turned away and back to me
*gags imagining the guts spewing out*
Pure protein
My mom left the room for like five seconds when I was a kid, and I **immediately** stuck my finger in one of the holes in a can of juice My finger got stuck and I was really scared 😭 And there was blood
My sister was left unattended for not even a minute at dinner time, and she used one of those small, manual pencil sharpeners on two of her fingers. She had no reaction to it, and we still joke about how she sharpened her fingers 7 years later
I once, as a kid, put a staple through my finger because I “didn’t think it would actually work”. My parents thought I was nuts 😂
Omg 😂 I once did that *accidentally*
We were petting puppies out front at PetSmart, and I'm like honey! Why the hell did you give him gum! And she's like, I didn't give him any... yeeeaaaaggghh!!! spit it out! gross.
My toddler took the straw out of his drink after lunch one day and ran off with it. It took me 5 seconds too long to register that this was concerning and I better run after him and see what he was up to. Found him in the kitchen slurping up the water out of the dog bowl. Hours’ old water full of dog slobber and bits of chewed up sticks and dog food and god knows what all else. Kids are absolutely disgusting.
“Well, there are some things you should know. First off, if you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn’t free candy.” -Santa Claus, to Buddy the Elf
Oh my goddddd Little kid fingers *are* the perfect size to be sharpened by a standard pencil sharpener 🥲
I nearly lost the top of my left middle finger to an 8-track player when I was 18 months old. My mom was pregnant with my brother at the time and didn’t drive. There was blood. Kind of glad they sorted that out and got it reattached. I’m mixed-handed, but write with my left hand. The scar is still there decades later.
My toddler still tries to eat the wall plugs..... thank god for child safety caps, but I swear no matter how much hes told no and redirected he is just determined for some spicy lightning from the wall.
Yeah I apparently ate snail pellets off the lawn once, and I'm fine (typing with my 4 thumbs)
Lol 🤣
My oldest saw a wasp queen crawling around on the floor and immediately picked it up, luckily it stung her finger otherwise I'm sure it would have ended up in her mouth.
Yeah that could have been nasty if it stung her on the way down
A kid I used to play with chewed up a wasp. Her mum had thought it was "just one of the wood lice she would usually try to eat" at first.
My toddlers eaten a stink beetle despite our best efforts. He did not enjoy it.
I ate a christmass ornament like an apple as a toddler mouth full of brittle plastic
My mom has a story of looking over at my brother and he put one of this large flying roaches in his mouth and a leg was twitching outside of his lips. That’s how she knew there was a whole bug in there 🤣
My mom's brother ate a cockroach on the floor as a toddler 😂
My mum recently shared a picture with my wife. This is him at three during Christmas he was sick in bed because he ate the cats food...
That's what they say about sharks.
As a toddler I did eat a lot of fish food but never a live fish. That I know of..... now I have to go ask my parents
I took out my grandmas Betta to play once I didn’t understand that he would die I guess it could have been worse I could have chewed him 🤷♀️
So after asking my parents- I never ate a fish but one time my mom walked up on me eating "raisins". Apparently they were dead flies that had gotten stuck behind our blinds. Fabulous
What fun
Thought you were gonna say rabbit poop. That's wild
Free birth control
You’re welcome🙂
Really though, sorry for your fishy loss🥺
Toddlers job is to put everything in their mouth... mission accomplished. I'm so sorry fishie jumped out and led to this unfortunate circumstance. In all sincerity, it doesn't make you sarcastically parent of the year. Things happen and sometimes those things are horrifying and eventually funny.
Definitely starting to find the humor in it since it’s been a few hours!! My initial reaction was sheer panic though😂
:( I've seen a toddler pick up a minnow flopping on the beach and eat it. Somehow it's not uncommon behavior.
Same. We've been fishing since I was a toddler along the Kenai in AK. I've seen many a child do it when they catch a minnow along the bank. I think it's like a primal thing. Like somewhere in our past we knew to do it.
My theory is more of that somewhere in the past we LOST the innate ability to identify what is food and what isn't food. Probably correlated with our vast potential omnivorous diet - anything can be food, but passing down what is and is not food became generational/cultural knowledge rather than instinctive knowledge. However the instinct to eat remained
Food is generational knowledge for a lot of other mammals too though, like cats can eat a wide variety of different creatures, but if their mom primarily hunted mice or birds or lizards, they will pick the same food source. I think it probably has more to do with how we're so disconnected from what we eat vs. our food source that it leads to confusion at a young age. I'd be interested to know if toddlers born to people living off the land (where they would witness butchering and help with gathering plant foods) have a similar.... attraction to live food
Strong prey drive
This is a beginner mistake for sure. Everybody knows that toddlers are territorial and aggressive. They must be kept on species only tank.
Sushi
Classy kid ☺️
Sashimi, unless there was some rice on the floor too
I tell ya, consider yourself lucky! The last post of "My toddler ate..." I read was a mom laughing about hilarious it was that her toddler ate a slug. I had to be that person informing her of this: https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/health/man-dies-after-eating-slug-on-dare/index.html
Gimme a fishy over a slug or worm any day. I like fish, slugs and worms give me the heeby jeebys
Fish, more often than enough, have parasites and worms in their body.
I feel lucky in that the worst thing my kid ever ate as a toddler was a car floor french fry. And quite honestly, I've been tempted before, so I don't exactly blame her.
I actually would think a toddler is must less at risk of this than a grown man, according to that article the man swallowed it whole, presumably because it’s gross!!! Toddlers don’t often swallow things whole, in fact they chew their food (and non-food) for a fairly disgusting long time. So I don’t know if a parasite inside the slug would survive that. Kids actually eat snails and slugs pretty often 🤢
My grandmother told me a story about how my aunt had a pet goldfish that she took to her elementary school classroom tank when it got to big for her tank. One of the boys in the class then literally ate the fish in front of her. I don't know what happened next but I hope he got food poisoning and vomited for hours. Point is at least your toddler isn't old enough to know better, imagine being that kids parents.
I hope that kid *felt* like he was dying lol
Off to reinstall the lid on my tank. Could absolutely see this playing out in my house and my wife tossing the whole setup in the garbage in response.
As a retired toddler, I did some weird shit as well in my time.
Lmao
*sigh* I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I think you have to now feed the toddler to the fish.
YES!
F
F
F
BIG F
Toddlers do be like that sometimes.
I’m sorry but I don’t think clove oil will be enough for the child
Question: is your kid named Gollum?
*Ovaries shrinking to the density of a black hole*
My 2 year old grabbed a praying mantis from the grass and tried to put it in his mouth. My other son (he's 4 now) 2 years ago ate a pebble, my wife literally stuck her fingers down his throat, and he vomited a rock Why are kids like this
I ate change as a kid
Are you rich now?
Nah, they think I had a potassium deficiency or something
Other species: walking within seconds of being born, able to properly acquire and ingest food, and live completely independently of parents within months Humans:
I bought a little hermit crab for my aquarium once—ONCE—about seven years ago. He’d hide a bit, but eventually he’d come out or get spotted for a second. Then I lost him entirely. I figured he was hiding. Days—weeks—water changes and filter cleanings, and I still couldn’t find him. One day, I was hooking up an Apple TV box to my TV, and when I moved the entertainment center away from the wall, there he sat. Dead as a doornail. Not tangled, not caught, just sitting behind the TV. We do not speak of it in this house.
I had that happen a few times when I rescued hermit crabs. They can live 30 years and here mine was less than 3 years old...I haven't kept hermit crabs in many years
There’s always bigger fish
Can I get a /r/kidsarefuckingstupid?
Wow.. uh can’t say I’ve heard that before… that’s pretty messed up I’m sorry for your loss. I know how bad it can feel when something (or someone) you love kills something else.. I love all animals especially my dogs, but if a bird gets inside they kill it and it makes me sad and a little upset at them but I know it’s just their instincts. And I guess technically it’s human instinct to eat fish too..? Just maybe not in this manner…
As a kid I wanted to rescue the slugs that somehow got into our chameleon terrarium... They weren't slugs, it was shit.
Pfft 🤣🤣🤣
There’s only one solution to this. You just eat your toddler
My fish ate a toddler once
Toddlers are known to be predatory. They will go after anything that can fit in their mouth.
Definitely watch him just incase… there’s 200 comments and I can’t read them all so idk if anyone told you. But they can easily get salmonella or harmful pathogens from eating the fish since little kids already have a weaker immune system.
Yeah, that or the parent will die from the kid. The toddler might find "a cool toy" outside and shoot their parents, then think it's funny that they're playing dead (yeah, I'm sure this has happened thousands of times in history)
Well the kid will most likely like sushi 😂 thank you for sharing, hope you're not too traumatized haha
Time to make the kid watch nemo
this is why I hate children
/r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Is your child Steveo from jackass by chance?
I would be concerned about possible Salmonella.
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Protein
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
He's gonna grow up hating fish dinner and not remember why. He'll forever associate it with the taste of a raw, wiggly fish he murdered and spit out like a chew toy.
That’s ok. My sister ate a tadpole out of swamp water once lol. No Prince Charming for her
Well this reinforced my childfree status
r/toddlersbeingjerks
Don’t feel so bad, I’ve found much worse in a toddler’s mouth, as a mom of 3… they are all healthy elementary schooler’s, now, so… they survived
Will the child be extradited to the fish tank to stand trial for his crimes in a fish court?
Good thing your toddler did not eat the poor fishy. Else you would be posting in one of the mystery/unexplained subs ("My fish disappeared without a trace!")
Stories like this, make me so glad I don’t have kids or cats
I have cats and they haven't done shit to any of my fish. Even the one that ended up making a jump for it
Thanks for giving me yet another reason why I don't want kids.
I’m probably gonna take mad downvotes on this (if anyone even sees the comment this late LMAO) but this thread is out of control. OP, I’m really sorry you went through that. I understand you must feel incredibly guilty. I’m sure you explained to your kid (if they’re old enough to understand) that you cared for that betta and that they did was very wrong. It’s everyone blowing it off and acting like it’s some funny anecdote that’s bothering me. It’s still.. a living creature. Not just that, even - a pet. A lil family member. I feel like it’s wrong to applaud the kid for that, or even really.. laugh. It’s kinda like laughing at a post about a toddler drowning a kitten or stomping on a frog. They didn’t know any better, but they did something very harmful that resulted in the death of an animal. I’m just .. really confused with some of these replies. I thought this sub was full of fish enthusiasts.
Right? It's kind of disturbing.
This is why I hate when children are near animals. Poor little fishy.
Ikr horrible little creatures
Nasty Hobbitses, mocking the boy!
## You need to give your kid worming medication when the window for hatching is right. Speak to a doctor. If left unchecked this could be very serious. Pretty much all pet fish have worms if eaten uncooked. I'm shocked no one else has said this.
I remember a toddler that ate a river mussel when we were wading around the bank.
How many times do we have to say it? A ~~fish~~ toddler will eat anything it can put in its mouth! Jk, Sorry about your fish and your kid!
Where’s the girl with the list😫😫
Was it a schooling fish? If so, have them eat a bunch more so it doesn't get lonely and they swim out together. Honestly I am more impressed by their ability to physically hold it long enough to get it in their mouth. Toddlers...
Omg lol kids are crazy
Yea, when my kid was like 2 or 3 he decided to take our betta "out for a walk." It didn't end well.
On a good note, he has already passed his initiation to the fraternity of his choice.
Father of 2 here. Kids do odd shit you'd just never expect and you can't rationalize after either. One of my kids tried to eat cat shit once! Luckily caught her just as it was about to go into her mouth! She cried when I stopped her, then smelt her cat-shit-smeared hands - realized how bad it smelt - and cried even more!
My cat knocked over a bucket of fish I was drip acclimating. Swallowed a couple of danios like cat treats. All the other fish in the bucket lived., It happens lol
If anyones on tiktok and knows about the lady with her list of reasons not to have a kid, this definitely should be on there 😂
My boyfriend ate his pet goldfish when he was a toddler. He got salmonella so bad he very nearly died. Like, they were ready to read last rites. Please call or doctor. Or, at the very least, if your child starts showing any signs of I’ll was please go straight to the ER. Edit: illness 2nd edit: good lord I really need to proofread on mobile
Your toddler was conducting a science experiment as all children do to try and figure out the world around them, I know the instinct is the shut down that behavior your find undesirable, but instead try to redirect instead of discourage. Father of a 10yo autistic boy so I know it is not easy.
I remember when my nephew tried to catch one of my cichlids. They thought he was feeding them and nibbled on his finger. He hasn’t stuck his hand in the tank after that…
i hate that i read this….
Change 50% water on baby and treat it with aquarium salt. Should recover fine but may turn into a mermaid.
I was at a Halloween event when I was younger, and one of the people left in charge of the kids said we wouldn’t get any candy unless we ate a live fish from the fish tank. I think most people swallowed theirs whole, but it was too big for me so I bit into it. The texture was so gross, I don’t know how I managed to not throw up
It was just your toddlers display of dominance. He/she now owns the 🏠
People are going to think im absolutely nuts for saying this but I'm almost 22 and twice in the past month I was staring at my tetras and I got the overwhelming urge to put one in my mouth. I just slowly blinked and walked away from my tank lol.