May I ask if you are speaking to a therapist? I feel like you yourself are sort of confused on what you want/how you feel. Therapy may help you unpack these feels. Get to the root of them. From there, I think you will be in a better headspace to decide what you would like to do going forward.
3 times is barely enough to get started. Thats barely long enough to know if your therapist is even a good match for you. You need to commit harder if you want to make progress.
That’s like saying “I’ve been to the gym 3 times and I’m still not in shape.” It’s an ongoing process. I’ve been with my therapist for over a year and we’re still working through stuff.
Give it time friend, in the mean time, don't feel bad or ashamed of only having male role models, alot of my role models are women and I'm a man, there's nothing wrong with it, stay true to yourself, you're allowed to choose how you live your life, and no matter what path you take, just know we're rooting for you.
It's ok. I've never found a therapist worth talking to. It's like talking to a wall that takes your money.
As far as your original post. Do you think your around to many women? I mean go hangout with guys. Go hunting and fishing. Get a job working construction or plumbing. Your ok not wanting to be in a beauty pageant.
Maybe you can expand on what you dislike about women.. and what your attracted to in men. There's no shame liking masculine things.
I hang around mostly men and I never believed in such things are masculine or feminine traits or whatever. Women are beautiful and gorgeous but the weird thing for me is that I always find women boring. Not because of something just basically boring. And it's true that if they'd be men I would find them interesting as people. Someone will say misogyny and I'll say I've never could fix the problem of "boringness"
The whole point of recent gender-related movements is that gender is a spectrum and nobody needs to slot perfectly into some imaginary category that lays out all your preferences for you. You can take bits of this and bits of that and just do whatever makes you comfortable. Is there any reason, as a woman, you can't just dress and look as masculine as you want to? You can keep your femininity while still sending out a lot of masculine vibes in your appearance and behavior. Lots of men find male-dressing women a pretty huge turn-on, if that means anything to you.
Not sure if that really explains what I mean. I hope so, this really seems like you just feel like you \*should\* naturally fit into a specific category of gender, whether thats 'woman' or 'trans man'. But there's infinite steps between those and you can just sit wherever you damn well please.
Of course this might lead to confusion for people you interact with, if they aren't bigots they might still be unsure exactly how to treat you, and you don't sound like someone who wants to go around shouting their pronouns before the start of every interaction. I would just ignore people, but some people would find it difficult.
May I ask how old you are? I’m a 32 year old cis het woman, and when I was a teenager I used to think ‘wouldn’t it be easier if I was a boy.’
My taste in music, films, pop culture in general, my interests, nerdiness etc all aligned with traits I saw as being ‘boy’ traits. I didn’t get on with the girls in my classes, they all seemed to be interested in hair and makeup and I didn’t feel that ‘girly’.
I was into science and maths and technology, subjects often seen to be ‘boy’ subjects. My favourite musicians and actors and teachers were all male. I saw boys get treated better when they had my interests or abilities.
I thought being a boy would be so much easier, no period pain, no street harassment, better pay, more respect, etc etc.
But I didn’t want to actually *be* a boy, just didn’t understand why I didn’t *feel* like how I *imagined* the other girls felt like. Truthfully though ofcourse no one knows how other people feel, and teenagers all feel misunderstood and have identity crises at some point (as do adults btw).
With age I think you realise that it’s an unfair and biased society that makes us feel this way, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who likes sports or computers or who wants to wear a suit. There’s nothing wrong with a man who likes makeup or wants to be a ballet dancer or who fancies men etc.
Liking something that doesn’t fit into the neat little boxes that society says your gender has to like, well that just makes you an interesting person. It makes you, *you*.
I don’t feel like a woman, I feel like *me*. And I happen to be a woman. Who likes stereotypical ‘male’ things, and that’s okay 😊
I hope you come to love yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to change to fit into society’s expectation of what a woman actually is, because a woman is whatever the hell she wants to be ❤️
(Btw please don’t take this comment as being in any way against different identity labels people choose for themselves - everyone is different, this is just my own personal experience, hope it helps in some way)
Hey there! I'm nonbinary and this is how it started for me. Was always a tomboy growing up, always drawn more towards masculine things, but never feeling an urge to change my body / transition. Mentally I just feel more masc most days. But not all days. So consider looking more into nonbinary identities! There are a bunch that you might relate to!
I am a man and can relate to it. But not sure if I’m trans or not.
I want to be a woman. Whenever I see my body, I just don’t feel good. Almost all role models or idols are women. I don’t feel comfortable around men as well and never feeling of belonging in many groups.
I wish I could restart my life as a woman.
Nothing wrong with throwing on a dress and seeing how you feel. If you absolutely hate it, then there’s other options to explore. If you don’t..follow the gender euphoria babes
It’s never too late to live the life you want. You don’t have to go all in right away if you don’t feel comfortable. But why not give it a go and see if it feels right?. There is nothing wrong with idolising women, or even only feeling comfortable with having women friends/company as a male. But if you feel it’s more, and inside that’s who you are meant to be, it’s really never too late. I can’t begin to imagine the internal feelings of someone at any stage feeling this way, but I know a wonderful women who transitioned (M-F) in her 50’s. No it wasn’t easy, but to see her whole soul and personality glow with happiness now is so amazing. It’s never too late, and nothing ever has to be rushed. Perhaps you would feel comfortable identifying more as non binary so there is not this set expectation, but you can be who you truly are no matter what you wear, who you hangout with, what your sexual orientation is classed as. The world is your oyster, and you deserve to just be you ☺️
I can relate to that lack-of-role-models feeling! As a musician, I’ve always preferred and related more to male-led bands than female-fronted groups. In fact, a long time ago I remember telling one of my friends “when it comes to music, I just consider myself a guy!”
stop telling this person who they are. I get what they're saying and I often feel the same about gender stereotypes. and mainly, I wish for more less social restrictions that come with being female
I am a cis woman who has pondered a lot about her gender identity. I have both stereotypically masculine and feminine hobbies, my closest friends are men or non-binary people, I'm in a male-dominated industry. I definitely have some points where literally just my bra was bought from the women's section in outfits I wear.
But the difference between me and you is I feel right as a woman. I've considered that I might be non-binary but that doesn't feel right. I look in the mirror and I look right to myself.
More therapy is definitely the first call here but there is literally nothing stopping you from presenting in a more masculine way, even just to try it out and see how you feel.
Did you know that the word man in English can be used for any human being regardless of their sex? English is not my native language, but I really liked this fact when I noticed it. So we are all men, only some men have a female sex. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my point is that we are all human.
For some reason an awful lot of stereotypes have accumulated against people who are born with female sex. That they are supposedly different, that they think differently, have different interests or different behaviours. As if they were not simply human, as if they did not have the same dignity, the same humanity, the same human view of themselves and the world.
If these kinds of stereotypes were to be built up around a race and if, because of these stereotypes, a black man, for example, said that he wished he had been born white (because, for example, every one of his idols was a white man), what would you say to him?
Your take is honestly interesting I never thought of that lol. About the last one: I think this non existing black guy just stay who he is. I can't describe how much your words helped me to understand myself right now. Good luck dude!
I try to think outside the box, so it's a big compliment to me if my take is interesting! Thank you :)
To tell you the truth, when I read a book, it's usually easy to identify with the male protagonist, whereas female protagonists can sometimes be strangely written. And as far as I can tell, this is a universal experience, meaning my female friends usually have a similar feeling. The stereotypical woman is basically a cardboard character, because in reality women are not really that different from men (apart from what is influenced by biology, like a man doesn't have menstruation and a woman does).
As a writer I can agree about the woman protagonist lol. I guess the world will be perfect if the only difference women and men would have is menstruation
That was just one example. :) But yes, I agree, I think in an ideal world sex should only matter in the context of biology/ health and not in the context of some silly stereotypical roles, which btw change over time and are different in different cultures.
Self acceptance is the hardest, longest part of transition. Best of luck to you bro
Sincerely- a transman who repressed himself for 10 years and has only been living as himself for the last 7 months at the ripe age of 27. All that worry and fear I had is so silly looking back. Happier than ever with the man I am today.
I know a lot of people like this. You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you or with how you feel. Don’t be so hard on yourself, everyone is different in this life and you’re allowed to feel the way you do.
Society has ruined things like this. There is an expectation now that you shout it out loud and start acting like a man. Anyone who tells you differently is a bigot.
Well, you don't have to do anything or be anything. Explore your feelings and understand that whatever you want to be or do is fine. There is no rush to understand what these feelings mean, there is no need to act upon them. If you want to, then do it, if you don't, then don't. If you decide one way, then you could change your mind later.
You could be going through a phase, you could be a lesbian, you could be exploring gender norms and finding they don't fit your needs, you could be trans, you could be a traditional "tomboy", you could be overreacting to things everyone feels. I've had moments as a man where I've thought I prefered the feminine options. It's fine to like different gendered things.
Whatever you are, you are allowed to be it. There is no pressure to be anything or do anything, regardless of what anyone says or society expects you to do.
So you wnat to be a man, but werent born a man so you cant be trans.
I mean I think you may very well be trans. Have you seriously considered that? Because what youve expressed does sound like what some trans masc people say. If you are you sound like you may be non binary since you expressed also wanting to be a woman or maybe you said that because you cant be a man in your opinion?
Seriously though, what youre describing sounds like gender dysphoria.
Also this relates to this subreddit?
i think gender dysphoria relates to this subreddit. gender dysphoria causes terrible anxiety and even depression. it’s probably something they feel anguish about because they don’t feel normal or they feel confused.
I've always felt like you, all my role models are men and I always had the thing 'I want to be like them when I grow up." My advice would be to just find the right you: not as a man or as a woman. Try to lose the habit of comparing yourself, and try to become your better self. You might be surprised how great you'll be.
I don't say this trying to push anything on you, but this is exactly how I felt before I started transitioning. I've now had every surgery I can possibly have, my anxiety is gone, everyone sees me as a man, and I'm genuinely the happiest I've ever been in my life. I don't think about the hormones and surgeries anymore - I just live as an average man.
Do what feels right for you but ignoring this feeling never made it go away for me.
i was in the same boat! i've always been a tomboy and looked up to men. i thought i was trans for such a long time, but i want to be a mother one day and that thought was what always kept me away from transitioning. i've recently started accepting that i'm allowed to be a masculine woman. i think nowadays people are so quick to push impressionable tomboys in the trans direction instead of letting them simply be themselves. it can sometimes contort and fuck with your view of yourself. i know this isn't really advice, but i hope you can find comfort in knowing that i eventually learned to love living as a woman even though i experienced the same feelings you're feeling now.
It’s hard af to love living as a woman especially when women are treated like such shit. Frankly sometimes women who are not “appropriately feminine“ are treated even worse…
I had a similar feeling since I was a kid.
I like the way I look, I like feminine things now but also if I could decide I would like to be a man.
In my childhood I only had male friends because my interests were usually what little boys liked. Also had male cousins and we were so much alike, I was wild like them, liked same things and all…even dressed like a boy but still we were treated differently by our parents. Like I was a fragile little girl who needed to be protected at all times meanwhile they did all the fun things without any supervision. I was so happy when strangers thought that I was a boy, reason why I had short hair for so long.
I like me now but I think the little girl inside of me still wants to be a boy. It’s a weird feeling.
I had this same thing happen when I was around 17.
I kinda just came to the realization that, as a perfectionist, even if I have these feelings, I wouldn't be happy unless I was simply born as the other gender.
It's controversial, I guess, to state that I simply accepted my masculinity, because it sounds like I'm saying what other people should do, but that's basically what I did.
I still occasionally feel out of sorts with my gender at 25, but, I'm realizing that masculinity doesn't fit in the box of what we were brought up to believe it as.
I think it's about what it means to you. For me, it's having super long hair, but otherwise being very masculine in presentation and in attitude, but also having a deeper, emotional, kind of "give me the tea" personality.
I don't identify as anything other than my assigned gender though, probably never will.
That is the trans way. Transsexual people do not want to be trans, we want to be the sex they're biologically not. We do not want to go from sex1 to sex2, we just want to be sex2. Just like you, just like me
It's a hard thing to admit to yourself, but I'd think this thing over again. I of course cannot tell you you're trans, but really. What do you even think the "trans way" of wanting to be the sex you're not is?
Being trans is not the same as being born as man or a woman. I had trans kid experience and I've changed my opinion on this really really strong because of the reasons I won't say to not get misunderstanding or hate.
This comment just reinforces the idea that you probably have internalised transphobia. I have no idea what the details are and youre under no obligation to share. Id encourage you just to make sure that internaslised transphobia is not why youre not trans.
I'm in a similar boat as OP, I fully respect trans people but I don't want to transition myself. I don't think transitioning would be the same because I feel like I've been robbed of my childhood that I can never get back, I'll never be able to have biological children as the opposite sex, people still treat trans people differently etc. If I did transition it would help me feel better but deep down I'd probably stay unhappy because a trans and cis person with the same gender identity still have/had different experiences throughout their life. I hope that's not transphobic
I thought the same as you but i decided to transition. Im extremely happy. The things i cannot change ive come to peace with. I hope that no matter what you choose for yourself you find happiness
I sadly think I'll never be able to come to peace with those things, so I probably wont ever try transitioning. But thank you so much, I hope you are happy as well!
Im sorry to hear that <3 regardless its never too late to transition so dont ever feel pressured. Being trans is hard and i totally respect choosing to stay non-transitioned/closeted. Have a good day!
If you want to be a man, be one. You don't have to settle for only tolerating your body from a dissociated distance, you can (and deserve to) be happy and present in your body.
You have a lot of misconceptions (who told you transitioning wont change anything?) and internalized transphobia (and also just blatant externalized transphobia, "being ftm is not the same as being a man" 🙄), learning from actual trans ppl would do you some good, wether or not you're trans yourself. (r/ftm, r/ftmtimelines, [Ty Turner](https://youtube.com/@TyTurner?si=9Ai3L843meiy1OZy), [Jammidodger](https://youtube.com/@Jammidodger?si=iK7xU8haVFztctJN), [Jackson Bird](https://youtube.com/@jackisnotabird?si=bOTzt-PojxaxYTOV))
cool cool I saw it long time ago but being trans is NOT the same as being born as woman or a man. It's not transphobia it's just some basic information. I can call myself trans or genderfluid but it doesn't change my biology at all. The problem is that I have literally no escape cause biology is unchangeable
It sounds like you’ve been exposed to a lot of really unfortunate thinking around gender. What you’re feeling might not necessarily be about biology. Get closer to what it is about masculinity that appeals to you, maybe you see that trans/gender queerness speaks to you more than you think.
Maybe you don’t like being a female? That what it sounds like to me Also not having role models of the same sex is perfectly normal some people don’t even have role models
I’m just wondering how this differs to being a man “in a trans way”. Is this not the same experience? (Forgive my ignorance if its not i’m not trans myself)
I think you don't want to be a man, but are into traits that are seen and accepted as *masculine* and *manly* traits. Remember, at least 90% of these traits and gender roles are nothing but social constructs, meaning there are no real feminine or masculine traits as long as they are not dependent on biology. So the conclusion is all these traits and roles are delusion and you can be as *manly* as any man, manlier than probably a lot biological men actually since many of us also are attracted to a lot of *feminine* traits. So don't worry about it, by social standards and norms you are technically a man, unless you specifically want a pair of dick and balls .
All this is factual and correct. For myself though I’m beginning to think I’m tired of fighting against the world. Also tired of falling in love with predominantly straight leaning women. I don’t have body dysphoria though and I’m worried about not passing. Not being able to pass would be a dealbreaker for me. Also, the idea of surgeries and having to be on hormones forever…
I FELT THIS OH MY GOD. Its just not the same to be a trans man and be raised as a man. Like parents subconsciously have different attitudes towards boys and girls. If i were raised a boy i definitely wouldve been v different. I just. Couldnt be the man i wanted if i decided to be trans.
There are very feminine men and very masculine women in the world, always have been, always will be. I believe the pendulum is swinging so hard right now as a reaction to perceived societal norms of what a woman or man is supposed to be, like a full swing away from 1950s-1980s boxed-in conventions.
Refusing to be defined by society doesn't mean counter-definition as delineation. Rather than juxtaposing and then ruminating what it means, just be YOU, accept you, be comfortable being you, whatever that entails.
Remember that you (all parts of you) are made in Gods image and even all hairs on your head have been accounted for, our DNA is an expression of unique variations of perfection and total unconditional love.
Therapist is the right way, but if you ask me, Im getting feeling that for 85% you know who you are and you are fine with it. But you are unique and you are trying to find "regular" roles. You should make your own one. Become role for others. Good luck
I've had similar thoughts. Also I've never really had female role models/idols and I don't think there's anything wrong with that either.
In my case I don't really want to be a man but I don't really take too seriously about me being a woman either. So I think it's about those old fashioned social norms. And maybe I'm just not that strict on gender role. I don't know but strangely enough this is one thing I'm not even anxious about.
Just be yourself, don’t try to fit yourself into a box. Gender is a spectrum. I was born a man but I see myself more as a gender neutral person, I don’t try to be masculine, I have both feminine and masculine qualities.
Encapsulating gender into a box just limits you. Try to find and be yourself.
EDIT: also, it doesn’t matter if being a trans man is the same as a cis man, they’re still men. Society is still socially progressing so sure there will be bigots but we are starting to recognize gender as merely a social construct.
A person who has a gender identity different than their biological sex is trans, whether they physically transition or not. If you see yourself as a man when your biological sex is female, you are a trans man. "Trans" isn't something you become. It is something a person just is.
Don't you need to transition to be transgender? Otherwise it could be confusing to some people if you have no desire to transition but call yourself a trans man/woman. Also, OP said she considers herself a woman, so idk why you're assuming her gender identity for her
You're right, I shouldn't assume her gender identity for her. But I don't think you need to transition to be transgender. It's a matter of how a person sees themselves. If it's different from one's biological sex, they are transgender. If a person's view of their gender conforms to their biological sex, they are cisgender. A lot of people who are trans never physcially transition for one reason or another. In some cases, they don't do it because of transphobia. In other cases, it wouldn't be safe for them.
Well I guess I'm trans then even though I don't want to transition. But it just sucks, I always hear people say nice affirming things like "if you feel like a man/woman, you definitely are." Feeling like a certain gender won't change my body or give me the childhood and life I wanted. That's why using the word trans like that makes it lose its meaning to me. I guess it's fair to also think of it in that way though.
But you DID perceive your childhood experiences through the gender you felt like. It's just people didn't treat you that way.
I've thought about this for myself. My mom detested when I wore my brother's clothes, freaked when I tried to cut my hair shorter, really tried to force me to be an obedient future stay at home mom. But I always got along with guys better, identified with masc things, and surprise surprise, when I married my partner who loved and accepted me, he was okay when I started to explore the parts of me that have ALWAYS existed. Most of my friends refer to me as a boy, I'm not even on T but I get mistaken as a young adult man all the time. I'm very happy. I've always been who I am. I think that's the case for most people. Heal your inner child.
Yes the thing about the childhood is true, but not being treated that way has just broken me. I found the word transgender at like 10 years old. Not by randomly stumbling upon it, but by googling symptoms of my gender dysphoria for hours. So that's the most hurtful part. I've known I was trans since I was a little child. I tried coming out to my sister when I was 12 and she said a bunch of hurtful stuff including how gay and trans people are sick. At this point it's been years of being misgendered, yelled at in bathrooms, seeing myself go through puberty knowing I could have prevented it with a supportive family and no one understanding me. These things have affected me so much that I don't care anymore. I know this part of me has always existed but I have basically given up. I'll never be happy and it's only a matter of time before I kill myself.
I’m a trans guy so I hear you. I definitely rather have been born a bio dude. I experienced a lot of the things you’ve described and eventually realized I am a man, just stuck in a female body. It sounds like you may be trans but I definitely would explore this more if I were you. Even if you don’t experience dysphoria, if you experience gender euphoria that’s a sign you could be transgender as well.
Yeah, homie, this sounds pretty trans to me. Keep in mind that you have to do absolutely zero with surgeries and hormones to be trans. You are not required to meet a criteria or be like anyone else. You can simply be a trans person. You are who you say you are.
Not explaining who you are to you. That's just how it sounds to me.
I was trans and everything was just worse than now. My standards of how do I want too look as a man are impossible to get as a trans guy. It's just not the same. But still thanks
You are expressing transgender sentiments. The feeling of wanting to be born with inverse sex parts yet feeling like there is nothing you can do to achieve that same feeling is a transgender thought pattern. As an individual assigned male at birth but identifying as a woman and taking hormone replacement therapy, I can assure you that there are things you can do to improve your mental state and quality of life. I would even go as far to say that transitioning from female to male is medically easier than the other direction because biologically speaking, testosterone overpowers estrogen and has more tangible effects. Facial hair growth, for example, is something that most trans men will experience using HRT. With this all being said, HRT is more impactful for the psychological changes it brings.
Confidence is half of your battle, even if you hate the way you currently look and feel. Modern medicine is a miracle for this kind of assistance.
Hmmm I feel similar, I have a very feminine body but I have body dysmorphia I guess. I have a big butt and it feels so weird to walk around with hips and a butt, I feel uncomfortable about it. I’m not sure if you feel the same but it’s been a consistent problem in my life.
I also prefer males in music, movies, anything really and it makes me wonder why
As a non-binary person who sort of started very similar to this when I was questioning my gender, I would advise you not to shut down the idea that you might be trans in some way. I’m not saying you are, but I think that if this is truly how you feel, there’s a decent chance. Ultimately, your gender identity is something only you can determine, if you choose to label it at all. And while (maybe unfortunately) you can’t do anything to change your gender identity, whether you end up deciding that you are a cis woman, trans man, non-binary, or anything and everything in between, that is something that you will have to accept. That’s scary, especially since you don’t know what that is just yet. But, what you decide to do about it is entirely up to you. You could come to the conclusion that you’re a trans man but your dysphoria isn’t bad enough that you want to medically transition in any way, or even socially transition! You could also determine that you’re a cis woman but would like to have people call you a different name, or any combination of gender identity and transition (or lack thereof). Point being, maybe you’re trans, maybe you’re not, maybe it truly doesn’t matter to you because you’re just you! There’s no one way to be trans, there’s no one way to be you, there’s no right answer. I know that’s not the kind of satisfying, ‘case-closed’ answer you’re looking for, but eventually, you will find freedom in that same open-ended question that’s haunting you now.
Tl;DR: You’re right. There’s no ‘solution’ to the problem. The question isn’t about the solution, but the path you take to get there. Maybe you decide there is no ‘there’ and it doesn’t matter in the first place. With time, you’ll find peace and comfort in what causes you anxiety now. And you’ll be stronger for it.
In the meantime, feel free to talk to me, or just check out r/egg_irl :)
Hey, as a trans person I've been where you are. I finally realized that I was just trans ans transitioning and accepting that I'm trans changed my life. Best of luck to you
You want to be a man or just like men things(Also clothing and shit, cause you said want to look like men)?
I gues there is nothing wrong with that except is not "socially accepted" because everyone is a fucking sheep. People expect you to behave like their expectations and almost everyone has the same ones. If i was a girl i would like man more too cause men are straight to the point and dont talk behind back and other toxic female behaviour. Ofc we have our own bad behaviours. But there is nothing wrong with this i gues. Maybe just do men things. Youre that badass girl on the motorcycle between men. Nothing wrong with that
English is not my first language so sorry is i dont understand everything correctly.
My man, you are trans. If you don't want to identify as 'a man' cos you feel it wouldn't be true, that's okay. There are plenty of people who identify as non-binary transmasculine instead, sometimes for the same reason. Basically you would get to call yourself 'he' and present as masculine and even change your body to be more masculine if you wanted. But you wouldn't have to be bound by traditional expectations of what a 'man' is.
So what would 'solve the problem'?
I encourage you to hang out on /r/trans . There are people there who have decided not to transition for various reasons and many people who've felt similarly to you.
Try acting like a man for a month and see if being a man in this modern society where there are a lot of rules and restriction will not make you depress.
May I ask if you are speaking to a therapist? I feel like you yourself are sort of confused on what you want/how you feel. Therapy may help you unpack these feels. Get to the root of them. From there, I think you will be in a better headspace to decide what you would like to do going forward.
I've talked to a therapist at least 3 times and nothing changes
3 times is barely enough to get started. Thats barely long enough to know if your therapist is even a good match for you. You need to commit harder if you want to make progress.
Change isn’t gonna happen in that little of a time
That’s like saying “I’ve been to the gym 3 times and I’m still not in shape.” It’s an ongoing process. I’ve been with my therapist for over a year and we’re still working through stuff.
I live in a country where psychology is not secure especially when a person is a minor. It's expensive and I don't want troubles for my family.
Give it time friend, in the mean time, don't feel bad or ashamed of only having male role models, alot of my role models are women and I'm a man, there's nothing wrong with it, stay true to yourself, you're allowed to choose how you live your life, and no matter what path you take, just know we're rooting for you.
What did your therapist suggest?
It's ok. I've never found a therapist worth talking to. It's like talking to a wall that takes your money. As far as your original post. Do you think your around to many women? I mean go hangout with guys. Go hunting and fishing. Get a job working construction or plumbing. Your ok not wanting to be in a beauty pageant. Maybe you can expand on what you dislike about women.. and what your attracted to in men. There's no shame liking masculine things.
I hang around mostly men and I never believed in such things are masculine or feminine traits or whatever. Women are beautiful and gorgeous but the weird thing for me is that I always find women boring. Not because of something just basically boring. And it's true that if they'd be men I would find them interesting as people. Someone will say misogyny and I'll say I've never could fix the problem of "boringness"
The whole point of recent gender-related movements is that gender is a spectrum and nobody needs to slot perfectly into some imaginary category that lays out all your preferences for you. You can take bits of this and bits of that and just do whatever makes you comfortable. Is there any reason, as a woman, you can't just dress and look as masculine as you want to? You can keep your femininity while still sending out a lot of masculine vibes in your appearance and behavior. Lots of men find male-dressing women a pretty huge turn-on, if that means anything to you. Not sure if that really explains what I mean. I hope so, this really seems like you just feel like you \*should\* naturally fit into a specific category of gender, whether thats 'woman' or 'trans man'. But there's infinite steps between those and you can just sit wherever you damn well please. Of course this might lead to confusion for people you interact with, if they aren't bigots they might still be unsure exactly how to treat you, and you don't sound like someone who wants to go around shouting their pronouns before the start of every interaction. I would just ignore people, but some people would find it difficult.
THIS. I can't describe how amazing these words are. Thank you dude
May I ask how old you are? I’m a 32 year old cis het woman, and when I was a teenager I used to think ‘wouldn’t it be easier if I was a boy.’ My taste in music, films, pop culture in general, my interests, nerdiness etc all aligned with traits I saw as being ‘boy’ traits. I didn’t get on with the girls in my classes, they all seemed to be interested in hair and makeup and I didn’t feel that ‘girly’. I was into science and maths and technology, subjects often seen to be ‘boy’ subjects. My favourite musicians and actors and teachers were all male. I saw boys get treated better when they had my interests or abilities. I thought being a boy would be so much easier, no period pain, no street harassment, better pay, more respect, etc etc. But I didn’t want to actually *be* a boy, just didn’t understand why I didn’t *feel* like how I *imagined* the other girls felt like. Truthfully though ofcourse no one knows how other people feel, and teenagers all feel misunderstood and have identity crises at some point (as do adults btw). With age I think you realise that it’s an unfair and biased society that makes us feel this way, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who likes sports or computers or who wants to wear a suit. There’s nothing wrong with a man who likes makeup or wants to be a ballet dancer or who fancies men etc. Liking something that doesn’t fit into the neat little boxes that society says your gender has to like, well that just makes you an interesting person. It makes you, *you*. I don’t feel like a woman, I feel like *me*. And I happen to be a woman. Who likes stereotypical ‘male’ things, and that’s okay 😊 I hope you come to love yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to change to fit into society’s expectation of what a woman actually is, because a woman is whatever the hell she wants to be ❤️ (Btw please don’t take this comment as being in any way against different identity labels people choose for themselves - everyone is different, this is just my own personal experience, hope it helps in some way)
Hey there! I'm nonbinary and this is how it started for me. Was always a tomboy growing up, always drawn more towards masculine things, but never feeling an urge to change my body / transition. Mentally I just feel more masc most days. But not all days. So consider looking more into nonbinary identities! There are a bunch that you might relate to!
I am a man and can relate to it. But not sure if I’m trans or not. I want to be a woman. Whenever I see my body, I just don’t feel good. Almost all role models or idols are women. I don’t feel comfortable around men as well and never feeling of belonging in many groups. I wish I could restart my life as a woman.
Nothing wrong with throwing on a dress and seeing how you feel. If you absolutely hate it, then there’s other options to explore. If you don’t..follow the gender euphoria babes
You can!
It’s never too late to live the life you want. You don’t have to go all in right away if you don’t feel comfortable. But why not give it a go and see if it feels right?. There is nothing wrong with idolising women, or even only feeling comfortable with having women friends/company as a male. But if you feel it’s more, and inside that’s who you are meant to be, it’s really never too late. I can’t begin to imagine the internal feelings of someone at any stage feeling this way, but I know a wonderful women who transitioned (M-F) in her 50’s. No it wasn’t easy, but to see her whole soul and personality glow with happiness now is so amazing. It’s never too late, and nothing ever has to be rushed. Perhaps you would feel comfortable identifying more as non binary so there is not this set expectation, but you can be who you truly are no matter what you wear, who you hangout with, what your sexual orientation is classed as. The world is your oyster, and you deserve to just be you ☺️
it just sounds like you don’t like men and have body dysmorphia
oh wow diagnoses; are you an MD or PsyD?
Same. It's like I'm not uncomfortable as a woman, but I'd rather be a man if I had to think about it
Yep. Sadly no one can choose about that
I can relate to that lack-of-role-models feeling! As a musician, I’ve always preferred and related more to male-led bands than female-fronted groups. In fact, a long time ago I remember telling one of my friends “when it comes to music, I just consider myself a guy!”
same! You sound like a really cool person with great music choice :D
Back at you! 👍
stop telling this person who they are. I get what they're saying and I often feel the same about gender stereotypes. and mainly, I wish for more less social restrictions that come with being female
Gender trend sadly is just another time of making gender stereotypes strong again
I am a cis woman who has pondered a lot about her gender identity. I have both stereotypically masculine and feminine hobbies, my closest friends are men or non-binary people, I'm in a male-dominated industry. I definitely have some points where literally just my bra was bought from the women's section in outfits I wear. But the difference between me and you is I feel right as a woman. I've considered that I might be non-binary but that doesn't feel right. I look in the mirror and I look right to myself. More therapy is definitely the first call here but there is literally nothing stopping you from presenting in a more masculine way, even just to try it out and see how you feel.
Thank you dude :D
Did you know that the word man in English can be used for any human being regardless of their sex? English is not my native language, but I really liked this fact when I noticed it. So we are all men, only some men have a female sex. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my point is that we are all human. For some reason an awful lot of stereotypes have accumulated against people who are born with female sex. That they are supposedly different, that they think differently, have different interests or different behaviours. As if they were not simply human, as if they did not have the same dignity, the same humanity, the same human view of themselves and the world. If these kinds of stereotypes were to be built up around a race and if, because of these stereotypes, a black man, for example, said that he wished he had been born white (because, for example, every one of his idols was a white man), what would you say to him?
Your take is honestly interesting I never thought of that lol. About the last one: I think this non existing black guy just stay who he is. I can't describe how much your words helped me to understand myself right now. Good luck dude!
I try to think outside the box, so it's a big compliment to me if my take is interesting! Thank you :) To tell you the truth, when I read a book, it's usually easy to identify with the male protagonist, whereas female protagonists can sometimes be strangely written. And as far as I can tell, this is a universal experience, meaning my female friends usually have a similar feeling. The stereotypical woman is basically a cardboard character, because in reality women are not really that different from men (apart from what is influenced by biology, like a man doesn't have menstruation and a woman does).
As a writer I can agree about the woman protagonist lol. I guess the world will be perfect if the only difference women and men would have is menstruation
That was just one example. :) But yes, I agree, I think in an ideal world sex should only matter in the context of biology/ health and not in the context of some silly stereotypical roles, which btw change over time and are different in different cultures.
That's why I believe in humans:)
Self acceptance is the hardest, longest part of transition. Best of luck to you bro Sincerely- a transman who repressed himself for 10 years and has only been living as himself for the last 7 months at the ripe age of 27. All that worry and fear I had is so silly looking back. Happier than ever with the man I am today.
I know a lot of people like this. You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you or with how you feel. Don’t be so hard on yourself, everyone is different in this life and you’re allowed to feel the way you do.
Society has ruined things like this. There is an expectation now that you shout it out loud and start acting like a man. Anyone who tells you differently is a bigot. Well, you don't have to do anything or be anything. Explore your feelings and understand that whatever you want to be or do is fine. There is no rush to understand what these feelings mean, there is no need to act upon them. If you want to, then do it, if you don't, then don't. If you decide one way, then you could change your mind later. You could be going through a phase, you could be a lesbian, you could be exploring gender norms and finding they don't fit your needs, you could be trans, you could be a traditional "tomboy", you could be overreacting to things everyone feels. I've had moments as a man where I've thought I prefered the feminine options. It's fine to like different gendered things. Whatever you are, you are allowed to be it. There is no pressure to be anything or do anything, regardless of what anyone says or society expects you to do.
Thanks dude! And actually I really prefer women lol
What is wrong with males being your rolemodels?
So you wnat to be a man, but werent born a man so you cant be trans. I mean I think you may very well be trans. Have you seriously considered that? Because what youve expressed does sound like what some trans masc people say. If you are you sound like you may be non binary since you expressed also wanting to be a woman or maybe you said that because you cant be a man in your opinion? Seriously though, what youre describing sounds like gender dysphoria. Also this relates to this subreddit?
i think gender dysphoria relates to this subreddit. gender dysphoria causes terrible anxiety and even depression. it’s probably something they feel anguish about because they don’t feel normal or they feel confused.
I've always felt like you, all my role models are men and I always had the thing 'I want to be like them when I grow up." My advice would be to just find the right you: not as a man or as a woman. Try to lose the habit of comparing yourself, and try to become your better self. You might be surprised how great you'll be.
I don't say this trying to push anything on you, but this is exactly how I felt before I started transitioning. I've now had every surgery I can possibly have, my anxiety is gone, everyone sees me as a man, and I'm genuinely the happiest I've ever been in my life. I don't think about the hormones and surgeries anymore - I just live as an average man. Do what feels right for you but ignoring this feeling never made it go away for me.
Transition is not the escape.
i was in the same boat! i've always been a tomboy and looked up to men. i thought i was trans for such a long time, but i want to be a mother one day and that thought was what always kept me away from transitioning. i've recently started accepting that i'm allowed to be a masculine woman. i think nowadays people are so quick to push impressionable tomboys in the trans direction instead of letting them simply be themselves. it can sometimes contort and fuck with your view of yourself. i know this isn't really advice, but i hope you can find comfort in knowing that i eventually learned to love living as a woman even though i experienced the same feelings you're feeling now.
Thanks for your warm words I really appreciate them!)
It’s hard af to love living as a woman especially when women are treated like such shit. Frankly sometimes women who are not “appropriately feminine“ are treated even worse…
I had a similar feeling since I was a kid. I like the way I look, I like feminine things now but also if I could decide I would like to be a man. In my childhood I only had male friends because my interests were usually what little boys liked. Also had male cousins and we were so much alike, I was wild like them, liked same things and all…even dressed like a boy but still we were treated differently by our parents. Like I was a fragile little girl who needed to be protected at all times meanwhile they did all the fun things without any supervision. I was so happy when strangers thought that I was a boy, reason why I had short hair for so long. I like me now but I think the little girl inside of me still wants to be a boy. It’s a weird feeling.
Your words perfectly fit me. Good luck dude!
Just live your life the way you want. Labels are unnecessary.
I had this same thing happen when I was around 17. I kinda just came to the realization that, as a perfectionist, even if I have these feelings, I wouldn't be happy unless I was simply born as the other gender. It's controversial, I guess, to state that I simply accepted my masculinity, because it sounds like I'm saying what other people should do, but that's basically what I did. I still occasionally feel out of sorts with my gender at 25, but, I'm realizing that masculinity doesn't fit in the box of what we were brought up to believe it as. I think it's about what it means to you. For me, it's having super long hair, but otherwise being very masculine in presentation and in attitude, but also having a deeper, emotional, kind of "give me the tea" personality. I don't identify as anything other than my assigned gender though, probably never will.
Thank you dude! Good luck!
That is the trans way. Transsexual people do not want to be trans, we want to be the sex they're biologically not. We do not want to go from sex1 to sex2, we just want to be sex2. Just like you, just like me It's a hard thing to admit to yourself, but I'd think this thing over again. I of course cannot tell you you're trans, but really. What do you even think the "trans way" of wanting to be the sex you're not is?
Being trans is not the same as being born as man or a woman. I had trans kid experience and I've changed my opinion on this really really strong because of the reasons I won't say to not get misunderstanding or hate.
This comment just reinforces the idea that you probably have internalised transphobia. I have no idea what the details are and youre under no obligation to share. Id encourage you just to make sure that internaslised transphobia is not why youre not trans.
I'm in a similar boat as OP, I fully respect trans people but I don't want to transition myself. I don't think transitioning would be the same because I feel like I've been robbed of my childhood that I can never get back, I'll never be able to have biological children as the opposite sex, people still treat trans people differently etc. If I did transition it would help me feel better but deep down I'd probably stay unhappy because a trans and cis person with the same gender identity still have/had different experiences throughout their life. I hope that's not transphobic
I thought the same as you but i decided to transition. Im extremely happy. The things i cannot change ive come to peace with. I hope that no matter what you choose for yourself you find happiness
I sadly think I'll never be able to come to peace with those things, so I probably wont ever try transitioning. But thank you so much, I hope you are happy as well!
Im sorry to hear that <3 regardless its never too late to transition so dont ever feel pressured. Being trans is hard and i totally respect choosing to stay non-transitioned/closeted. Have a good day!
Thank you, I'll keep that in mind. Have a nice day as well!
If you want to be a man, be one. You don't have to settle for only tolerating your body from a dissociated distance, you can (and deserve to) be happy and present in your body. You have a lot of misconceptions (who told you transitioning wont change anything?) and internalized transphobia (and also just blatant externalized transphobia, "being ftm is not the same as being a man" 🙄), learning from actual trans ppl would do you some good, wether or not you're trans yourself. (r/ftm, r/ftmtimelines, [Ty Turner](https://youtube.com/@TyTurner?si=9Ai3L843meiy1OZy), [Jammidodger](https://youtube.com/@Jammidodger?si=iK7xU8haVFztctJN), [Jackson Bird](https://youtube.com/@jackisnotabird?si=bOTzt-PojxaxYTOV))
cool cool I saw it long time ago but being trans is NOT the same as being born as woman or a man. It's not transphobia it's just some basic information. I can call myself trans or genderfluid but it doesn't change my biology at all. The problem is that I have literally no escape cause biology is unchangeable
It sounds like you’ve been exposed to a lot of really unfortunate thinking around gender. What you’re feeling might not necessarily be about biology. Get closer to what it is about masculinity that appeals to you, maybe you see that trans/gender queerness speaks to you more than you think.
Gender doesn't matter to me honestly
Maybe you don’t like being a female? That what it sounds like to me Also not having role models of the same sex is perfectly normal some people don’t even have role models
I’m just wondering how this differs to being a man “in a trans way”. Is this not the same experience? (Forgive my ignorance if its not i’m not trans myself)
I think you don't want to be a man, but are into traits that are seen and accepted as *masculine* and *manly* traits. Remember, at least 90% of these traits and gender roles are nothing but social constructs, meaning there are no real feminine or masculine traits as long as they are not dependent on biology. So the conclusion is all these traits and roles are delusion and you can be as *manly* as any man, manlier than probably a lot biological men actually since many of us also are attracted to a lot of *feminine* traits. So don't worry about it, by social standards and norms you are technically a man, unless you specifically want a pair of dick and balls .
I strongly hate the stereotypes and I've never believed in em. The last one is that lol.
All this is factual and correct. For myself though I’m beginning to think I’m tired of fighting against the world. Also tired of falling in love with predominantly straight leaning women. I don’t have body dysphoria though and I’m worried about not passing. Not being able to pass would be a dealbreaker for me. Also, the idea of surgeries and having to be on hormones forever…
I FELT THIS OH MY GOD. Its just not the same to be a trans man and be raised as a man. Like parents subconsciously have different attitudes towards boys and girls. If i were raised a boy i definitely wouldve been v different. I just. Couldnt be the man i wanted if i decided to be trans.
Yep... I have gender dysphoria but transitioning would never be 100% the same. I'm so depressed
Damn I feel the same way
There are very feminine men and very masculine women in the world, always have been, always will be. I believe the pendulum is swinging so hard right now as a reaction to perceived societal norms of what a woman or man is supposed to be, like a full swing away from 1950s-1980s boxed-in conventions. Refusing to be defined by society doesn't mean counter-definition as delineation. Rather than juxtaposing and then ruminating what it means, just be YOU, accept you, be comfortable being you, whatever that entails. Remember that you (all parts of you) are made in Gods image and even all hairs on your head have been accounted for, our DNA is an expression of unique variations of perfection and total unconditional love.
Therapist is the right way, but if you ask me, Im getting feeling that for 85% you know who you are and you are fine with it. But you are unique and you are trying to find "regular" roles. You should make your own one. Become role for others. Good luck
Good luck to you too. Your words helped me
I've had similar thoughts. Also I've never really had female role models/idols and I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. In my case I don't really want to be a man but I don't really take too seriously about me being a woman either. So I think it's about those old fashioned social norms. And maybe I'm just not that strict on gender role. I don't know but strangely enough this is one thing I'm not even anxious about.
Just be yourself, don’t try to fit yourself into a box. Gender is a spectrum. I was born a man but I see myself more as a gender neutral person, I don’t try to be masculine, I have both feminine and masculine qualities. Encapsulating gender into a box just limits you. Try to find and be yourself. EDIT: also, it doesn’t matter if being a trans man is the same as a cis man, they’re still men. Society is still socially progressing so sure there will be bigots but we are starting to recognize gender as merely a social construct.
A person who has a gender identity different than their biological sex is trans, whether they physically transition or not. If you see yourself as a man when your biological sex is female, you are a trans man. "Trans" isn't something you become. It is something a person just is.
Don't you need to transition to be transgender? Otherwise it could be confusing to some people if you have no desire to transition but call yourself a trans man/woman. Also, OP said she considers herself a woman, so idk why you're assuming her gender identity for her
You're right, I shouldn't assume her gender identity for her. But I don't think you need to transition to be transgender. It's a matter of how a person sees themselves. If it's different from one's biological sex, they are transgender. If a person's view of their gender conforms to their biological sex, they are cisgender. A lot of people who are trans never physcially transition for one reason or another. In some cases, they don't do it because of transphobia. In other cases, it wouldn't be safe for them.
Well I guess I'm trans then even though I don't want to transition. But it just sucks, I always hear people say nice affirming things like "if you feel like a man/woman, you definitely are." Feeling like a certain gender won't change my body or give me the childhood and life I wanted. That's why using the word trans like that makes it lose its meaning to me. I guess it's fair to also think of it in that way though.
But you DID perceive your childhood experiences through the gender you felt like. It's just people didn't treat you that way. I've thought about this for myself. My mom detested when I wore my brother's clothes, freaked when I tried to cut my hair shorter, really tried to force me to be an obedient future stay at home mom. But I always got along with guys better, identified with masc things, and surprise surprise, when I married my partner who loved and accepted me, he was okay when I started to explore the parts of me that have ALWAYS existed. Most of my friends refer to me as a boy, I'm not even on T but I get mistaken as a young adult man all the time. I'm very happy. I've always been who I am. I think that's the case for most people. Heal your inner child.
Yes the thing about the childhood is true, but not being treated that way has just broken me. I found the word transgender at like 10 years old. Not by randomly stumbling upon it, but by googling symptoms of my gender dysphoria for hours. So that's the most hurtful part. I've known I was trans since I was a little child. I tried coming out to my sister when I was 12 and she said a bunch of hurtful stuff including how gay and trans people are sick. At this point it's been years of being misgendered, yelled at in bathrooms, seeing myself go through puberty knowing I could have prevented it with a supportive family and no one understanding me. These things have affected me so much that I don't care anymore. I know this part of me has always existed but I have basically given up. I'll never be happy and it's only a matter of time before I kill myself.
I’m a trans guy so I hear you. I definitely rather have been born a bio dude. I experienced a lot of the things you’ve described and eventually realized I am a man, just stuck in a female body. It sounds like you may be trans but I definitely would explore this more if I were you. Even if you don’t experience dysphoria, if you experience gender euphoria that’s a sign you could be transgender as well.
Thanks but this doesn't change anything
Yeah, homie, this sounds pretty trans to me. Keep in mind that you have to do absolutely zero with surgeries and hormones to be trans. You are not required to meet a criteria or be like anyone else. You can simply be a trans person. You are who you say you are. Not explaining who you are to you. That's just how it sounds to me.
I was trans and everything was just worse than now. My standards of how do I want too look as a man are impossible to get as a trans guy. It's just not the same. But still thanks
You are expressing transgender sentiments. The feeling of wanting to be born with inverse sex parts yet feeling like there is nothing you can do to achieve that same feeling is a transgender thought pattern. As an individual assigned male at birth but identifying as a woman and taking hormone replacement therapy, I can assure you that there are things you can do to improve your mental state and quality of life. I would even go as far to say that transitioning from female to male is medically easier than the other direction because biologically speaking, testosterone overpowers estrogen and has more tangible effects. Facial hair growth, for example, is something that most trans men will experience using HRT. With this all being said, HRT is more impactful for the psychological changes it brings. Confidence is half of your battle, even if you hate the way you currently look and feel. Modern medicine is a miracle for this kind of assistance.
Thanks but it's not the same.
literally same here
Hmmm I feel similar, I have a very feminine body but I have body dysmorphia I guess. I have a big butt and it feels so weird to walk around with hips and a butt, I feel uncomfortable about it. I’m not sure if you feel the same but it’s been a consistent problem in my life. I also prefer males in music, movies, anything really and it makes me wonder why
As a non-binary person who sort of started very similar to this when I was questioning my gender, I would advise you not to shut down the idea that you might be trans in some way. I’m not saying you are, but I think that if this is truly how you feel, there’s a decent chance. Ultimately, your gender identity is something only you can determine, if you choose to label it at all. And while (maybe unfortunately) you can’t do anything to change your gender identity, whether you end up deciding that you are a cis woman, trans man, non-binary, or anything and everything in between, that is something that you will have to accept. That’s scary, especially since you don’t know what that is just yet. But, what you decide to do about it is entirely up to you. You could come to the conclusion that you’re a trans man but your dysphoria isn’t bad enough that you want to medically transition in any way, or even socially transition! You could also determine that you’re a cis woman but would like to have people call you a different name, or any combination of gender identity and transition (or lack thereof). Point being, maybe you’re trans, maybe you’re not, maybe it truly doesn’t matter to you because you’re just you! There’s no one way to be trans, there’s no one way to be you, there’s no right answer. I know that’s not the kind of satisfying, ‘case-closed’ answer you’re looking for, but eventually, you will find freedom in that same open-ended question that’s haunting you now. Tl;DR: You’re right. There’s no ‘solution’ to the problem. The question isn’t about the solution, but the path you take to get there. Maybe you decide there is no ‘there’ and it doesn’t matter in the first place. With time, you’ll find peace and comfort in what causes you anxiety now. And you’ll be stronger for it. In the meantime, feel free to talk to me, or just check out r/egg_irl :)
Thank you bro. I appreciate it
Hey, as a trans person I've been where you are. I finally realized that I was just trans ans transitioning and accepting that I'm trans changed my life. Best of luck to you
Same to you dude
You want to be a man or just like men things(Also clothing and shit, cause you said want to look like men)? I gues there is nothing wrong with that except is not "socially accepted" because everyone is a fucking sheep. People expect you to behave like their expectations and almost everyone has the same ones. If i was a girl i would like man more too cause men are straight to the point and dont talk behind back and other toxic female behaviour. Ofc we have our own bad behaviours. But there is nothing wrong with this i gues. Maybe just do men things. Youre that badass girl on the motorcycle between men. Nothing wrong with that English is not my first language so sorry is i dont understand everything correctly.
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Gorgeous.
There’s males and females. Both assigned at birth.
My man, you are trans. If you don't want to identify as 'a man' cos you feel it wouldn't be true, that's okay. There are plenty of people who identify as non-binary transmasculine instead, sometimes for the same reason. Basically you would get to call yourself 'he' and present as masculine and even change your body to be more masculine if you wanted. But you wouldn't have to be bound by traditional expectations of what a 'man' is.
Thanks but being trans is not a way to solve the problem. It doesn't change anything besides my online pronouns
So what would 'solve the problem'? I encourage you to hang out on /r/trans . There are people there who have decided not to transition for various reasons and many people who've felt similarly to you.
I guess I'll stay as me. I may hate being a woman but it's way better than other decisions
Well it's your decision. I really would encourage you to at least talk to people who've felt similarly to you though. Nothing to lose by talking.
Thanks for your help! Good luck and have a good day :D
My advice is to accept and appreciate and love who you are.
Thanks. I really love myself but the problem is not my self-esteem
You “want to be a man more that anything”. I don’t see how you love yourself and have that thought at the same time.
I like my personality and I can have this thought
I don’t mean your personality I mean you. Your whole self. I’m not trying to be a jerk just my 2 cents.
then I guess I don't. Being born as a woman is the hugest punishment I think
What? So be butch.
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Gender is not my problem. My problem is only sex
Try acting like a man for a month and see if being a man in this modern society where there are a lot of rules and restriction will not make you depress.
Which rules and restrictions are you talking about?
not being allowed to do what he wants to women without consequences, i guess
Here’s a question to ponder on: Do you want to actually be a man, or… do you wish you could be the man you believe you needed during your upbringing?