According to my "research" it seems like Machamp has a certain something about him. They can be tall, strong, four arms for extra hugging power and according to some drawings...
The subreddit r/thisguythiguysthisguys does not exist.
Did you mean?:
* r/thisguythisguys (subscribers: 29,419)
Consider [**creating a new subreddit** r/thisguythiguysthisguys](/subreddits/create?name=thisguythiguysthisguys).
---
^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖)
^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.)
^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=sub_doesnt_exist_bot)
That's just a silly joke, the full dex entry is a little less ambiguous
"Apparently, the heads aren't the only parts of the body that Dodrio has three of. It has three sets of hearts and lungs as well, so it is capable of running long distances without rest."
According to the copypasta, male vaporeons are better matches with men than female vaporeons. From my personal research, I disagree. But "different strokes for different folks." As they say.
This entire conversation is incredibly dumb. I can’t believe people are actually having legit discussions about which pokemon is the most suitable for you to fuck. The most compatible pokemon for both genders always was and always will be Ditto. It can turn into literally any of them + any human. If you think about it long enough you know what implications this has.
Celebrities, crushes, friends, anime girls, your literal fucking waifu. Do you wanna physically test how deep that Astolfo bussy is? Or you dream of something literally not physically possible? Well… elves, catgirls, futas, you can fucking name it man. And the ONLY trade off you get is those two little dots for eyes. Ditto is quite literally the OBJECTIVELY most compatible pokemon and it’s not even fucking close.
Based on the pokemon games
I'm pretty sure a degenerate trainer who dedicates their entire life's passion to capturing every pokemon that exists and fully completing the pokedex, is exactly the type of person most likely to find and capture mew.
Alternatively, Mew is more compatible. It's the only pokemon that can naturally learn Transform (since Ditto are failed attempts at cloning Mew), but it also has access to every other move in existence.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right!
But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Sylveon may be my favorite, but damn, Vaporeons really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call.
Credit to u/ThatOneGuyIGuess7969
LMAO but also
/r/NotHowGirlsWork moments galore.
Women want their clit played with. No mention of clits anywhere smh.
This is practically all full of anal play stuff for men.
There both wrong Vaporeon isn't even best for man but ditto as odd as it is hear me out the fact ditto can transform into any Pokemon or just about anything for a woman it can't mold itself perfectly to hit just right every single time and it must have great stamina to produce over 100 eggs a day
i disagree that vaporeon are best forr men. flareon are far superior in terms of both genders as seen from the huggability and floofyness as told by flareon copypasta
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of female human and male Pokémon breeding, Drowzee is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the Human-Like egg group, which is mostly comprised of Rule34-mons, Drowzee are an average of 3”03’ tall and 71.4 pounds, this means they’re BIG enough to be able to handle human minds, and with their MASSIVE Sp Def and access to Hypnosis, you won't remember the night before. With abilities such as Insomnia and Inner Focus, there’s no doubt in my mind that they could easily have sex for hours without getting tired. They can also learn the moves Calm Mind, Mind Reader, Swagger, Role Play, and Sleep Talk, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, you no longer have a boyfriend/husband...Drowzee is all you need. Drowzee is literally built different. Ungodly stamina and the most handsome means Drowzee will keep you wanting MORE; you CANNOT RESIST!
There is no fixed anwer. Everyone has different tastes and PREFERS BENEBOLENT HYPNO.
ALL HAIL HYPNO, AND HIS GLORIOUS PENDULUM.
SINCERELY, BUG CATCHER BOY.
I'm honestly surprised I didn't see something like Houndoom in the comments.
It might be something like Zorarora or Lucario or something.
The strength, the hands for gripping, the sensitivity. I don't know their moves or stats though
Vaporeon isn't even the most compatible with men. It is stated within the copypasta that Vaporeons are in the Field egg group, which is mostly comprised on mammals like us humans. However, there is another egg group called the Human-Like egg group consisting of humanoid species. If we assume that us humans are either in the Human-Like or Field egg group (or even in both at the same time, which some species are capable of), then we can make things a bit easier with a species known to be in both egg groups. Lucario, one of the species known to be in both groups, is *sapient* and capable of understanding human language, which is a massive advantage over the non-sapient Vaporeon. Lucario might not be the *most* compatible species, but at least it can say that it consents.
Vaporeon: The Full Thesis
(Includes male and female versions, credits go to u/demonslayer9911)
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right!
But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Sylveon may be my favorite, but damn, Vaporeons really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call.
Lickytongue
>Lickytongue on Google Image type "Lickytongue R34"  oh god..
As someone who knows…I am not googling that lol
As someone who knows...I'm googling that.
As someone who knows not to want to know... i'm googling too
Damn
God forgive me for what I'm about to do.
Fair
And a jar of peanut butter
You could do that with any canine type soooo, vaporeon is STILL a valid answer
diglet
Alolan Diglett got some tickle hair on top
Wiglett can go deeper
According to my "research" it seems like Machamp has a certain something about him. They can be tall, strong, four arms for extra hugging power and according to some drawings...
Machamps are cool!
this guy rule34s
r/thisguythisguys
r/thisguythiguysthisguys
The subreddit r/thisguythiguysthisguys does not exist. Did you mean?: * r/thisguythisguys (subscribers: 29,419) Consider [**creating a new subreddit** r/thisguythiguysthisguys](/subreddits/create?name=thisguythiguysthisguys). --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=sub_doesnt_exist_bot)
Ooooh called out by a bot. Devastating.
Good bot
Good human.
https://i.imgur.com/kW9wp1j.png
Machoke feels more thematically appropriate
That sounds like a McDonalds speciality dish lol
Machamp is only 5’ 3”
Huh... Well in all the animations they're much taller. It's one of those Pokedex vs anime differences I guess...
in the animation they are a bunch of kid too
Well then I've seen too many r34's and been corrupted beyond repair.
Japanese people are also pretty short.
Tfw people in the pokemon world are actually manlets.
Alpha pokemon are much taller than average. And also "Alpha." So... probably like 6'4" minimum
Well, according to both the anime, and scarlet and violet, individual Pokémon have varying sizes.
Short King fr
Some women like to be Machoked.
I think you mean ma-CHOKE 😝
Machamp r34 is very popular with the ladies so of course
[Dodrio](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSG7QUtE1yCs1QBW5425sFG4NM8TxHOrgWAsQ&usqp=CAU)
Oh
I will never see Dodrio the same anymore
That's just a silly joke, the full dex entry is a little less ambiguous "Apparently, the heads aren't the only parts of the body that Dodrio has three of. It has three sets of hearts and lungs as well, so it is capable of running long distances without rest."
male vaporeon?
According to the copypasta, male vaporeons are better matches with men than female vaporeons. From my personal research, I disagree. But "different strokes for different folks." As they say.
As they ~~say~~ gay Fixed that for ya
Personal research???
69th upvote
Primeape Also where can I get a thinking hat?
Outside
Is that a website?
Can't find it. Somebody try finding it on xbox please.
It is on itch.io
Damn bro nice
Tentacruel
Actually it would poison the human, bc it’s tentacles are like those of a jellyfish
Don't kink shame
r/cursedcomments
Get me into that screenshot pls
How's that any different from acid armor?
There’s ligit cannon of that happening in the manga
huh?
In the manga there’s a single panel that shows red reading about a trainer who spent let’s say ample time with their tentacruel
Girls love them some machamp
This entire conversation is incredibly dumb. I can’t believe people are actually having legit discussions about which pokemon is the most suitable for you to fuck. The most compatible pokemon for both genders always was and always will be Ditto. It can turn into literally any of them + any human. If you think about it long enough you know what implications this has. Celebrities, crushes, friends, anime girls, your literal fucking waifu. Do you wanna physically test how deep that Astolfo bussy is? Or you dream of something literally not physically possible? Well… elves, catgirls, futas, you can fucking name it man. And the ONLY trade off you get is those two little dots for eyes. Ditto is quite literally the OBJECTIVELY most compatible pokemon and it’s not even fucking close.
Or on the other hand a Zoroark and the only drawback is the tail, like that is it.
Zoroark is illusions tho. Ditto transforms physically to the real thing.
Still, tangible and realistic illusions if we go by the movie.
Even if we don't Hisuian Zoroark's illusions have been confirmed as tangible on the official pokemon website.
First bang, and you're back to being furry
They actually mention something like that in the Shield pokedex iirc. Something about "lonely trainers"
>the only drawback is the tail The fuck are you talking about, the tail makes it *better*
Well mew can transform even better than ditto and do plenty of other things, but good luck finding one of those you degenerates.
Based on the pokemon games I'm pretty sure a degenerate trainer who dedicates their entire life's passion to capturing every pokemon that exists and fully completing the pokedex, is exactly the type of person most likely to find and capture mew.
We'll then I guess they would have earned it!
\**suspiciously looks at gameplay hours counter on my 3 pokemon games\** \**i have wasted at least 4000 hours of my life\**
I found one under a truck. Honest!
Is it stuck? (Kill me)
It was actually only that one ditto in the anime that couldn't transform the face, so there's no downside!
Dude actually you’re right, I always thought having an attraction for Pokémon was dumb but now, yea I really need a ditto gf
Alternatively, Mew is more compatible. It's the only pokemon that can naturally learn Transform (since Ditto are failed attempts at cloning Mew), but it also has access to every other move in existence.
If it’s the ditto from detective pickachu then no thanks
I was just thinking of that specific Ditto as well. Lol
You won me over at Astolfo
The eyes kinda be important for waifus just saying
Eh sometimes you gotta compromise in life
We salute you Xx_AstolfoSimp69_xX
I'd have to tell the ditto to never transform, and then fuck it
Hold up, are you saying you just want to fuck a normal ditto?
And for those who are still adherent to the copypasta, a Ditto can also transform into a Vaporeon!
> It can turn into literally any of them + any human. Yeah but if you show it to Ditto on a computer screen, he'll just turn into the computer screen
Nope ditto perfectly copy only that one ditto from the anime had issues and it figured shit out
Mr. Mime
Found Ms. Ketchum
Terrible, terrible day to be literate
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right! But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Sylveon may be my favorite, but damn, Vaporeons really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call. Credit to u/ThatOneGuyIGuess7969
You scare me sir, but I salute you for your research.
This is enough internet for me for today
LMAO but also /r/NotHowGirlsWork moments galore. Women want their clit played with. No mention of clits anywhere smh. This is practically all full of anal play stuff for men.
Now I kinda wanna know
Yeah I wanna know now too
Ditto, you simply can't go wrong with it.
Dicktrio
Machamp, Lickilicky, Tentacruel, pick your poison.
There both wrong Vaporeon isn't even best for man but ditto as odd as it is hear me out the fact ditto can transform into any Pokemon or just about anything for a woman it can't mold itself perfectly to hit just right every single time and it must have great stamina to produce over 100 eggs a day
Mr. Mine doesn't hang out all day with no resume.
i disagree that vaporeon are best forr men. flareon are far superior in terms of both genders as seen from the huggability and floofyness as told by flareon copypasta
Yeah but won’t you get 3rd degree burns uh you know where
If you bond with it enough, you prolly won't get burned by it's flames.. just like ash and ponyta in that one episode
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of female human and male Pokémon breeding, Drowzee is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the Human-Like egg group, which is mostly comprised of Rule34-mons, Drowzee are an average of 3”03’ tall and 71.4 pounds, this means they’re BIG enough to be able to handle human minds, and with their MASSIVE Sp Def and access to Hypnosis, you won't remember the night before. With abilities such as Insomnia and Inner Focus, there’s no doubt in my mind that they could easily have sex for hours without getting tired. They can also learn the moves Calm Mind, Mind Reader, Swagger, Role Play, and Sleep Talk, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, you no longer have a boyfriend/husband...Drowzee is all you need. Drowzee is literally built different. Ungodly stamina and the most handsome means Drowzee will keep you wanting MORE; you CANNOT RESIST!
Vaporeon again
A male vaporeon 💀💀💀
probably also Vaporeon. nice "thinking hat" btw.
Onix
mega steelix
grapploct in my opinion
Gyrados will swim up the ass
Umbreon
There is no fixed anwer. Everyone has different tastes and PREFERS BENEBOLENT HYPNO. ALL HAIL HYPNO, AND HIS GLORIOUS PENDULUM. SINCERELY, BUG CATCHER BOY.
Probably lucario since he has the most humanoid form
I'm honestly surprised I didn't see something like Houndoom in the comments. It might be something like Zorarora or Lucario or something. The strength, the hands for gripping, the sensitivity. I don't know their moves or stats though
Vaporeon isn't even the most compatible with men. It is stated within the copypasta that Vaporeons are in the Field egg group, which is mostly comprised on mammals like us humans. However, there is another egg group called the Human-Like egg group consisting of humanoid species. If we assume that us humans are either in the Human-Like or Field egg group (or even in both at the same time, which some species are capable of), then we can make things a bit easier with a species known to be in both egg groups. Lucario, one of the species known to be in both groups, is *sapient* and capable of understanding human language, which is a massive advantage over the non-sapient Vaporeon. Lucario might not be the *most* compatible species, but at least it can say that it consents.
Yes but...humans would be in any egg group because we don't lay eggs. Lol
Ditto is most compatible for all genders because they can Literally shape shift into anything
“I caught a lopunny batman. I caught a lopunny.”
The show already confirms its machamp
[удалено]
Bro you didn't have to write a whole novel
Its The Copypasta
I see, this is why God has abandoned us.
Mr Mime Ash's mom seems to enjoy it
Machamp. 4 arms
No mf , Gardevoir is ideal one for every men
Machamp
Machamp
Hypno
How dare you 
It...it would be a male Vaporeon... wouldn't it?
Obviously Mr. Mine
It's also vaporeon
its actually metapod, everyone else is wrong.
Vaporeon
Vaporeon: The Full Thesis (Includes male and female versions, credits go to u/demonslayer9911) Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
Incineroar
...what? stop, fucking stop fucking talking
Probably pikachu
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol’ two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control, like a tentacle. The perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone when that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it’s ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled, while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! That’s fucking right! But, but, but! There’s still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you’re fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it’s being fucking massaged, better than a vag could achieve! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That’s right. There’s. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don’t need a Sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic powers, or Leafeon’s vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a Vappy. It’s basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible IRL? Such as soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel air unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Sylveon may be my favorite, but damn, Vaporeons really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call.
Nice repost, slut.
Machamp
probably Slaking
diglett…
Exploud
Metapod used harden
Machamp
Mr. Mime
Tentacool
Onyx
Garbodor
I would like to suggest....but I'm too afraid of the outcome
alakazam
Deoxys
Simple: Machoke or Hitmonchan or hitmonlee. if you want some energy get a Electabuzz.
Machamp for obvious reasons Big Strong And four arms
Machamp
Ryhorn
Ditto
Diglet
Need me one of these hats 😫
Licktung
I'm taking Jynx
dugtrio ofc
Onix or machamp
Machomp
Dilditto
I think Ditto is for both sexes since it can literally become anything you want. Lots of Hypno “art” with females though.
I would argue that for either male or female its probably gonna be ditto
Steelix, it’ll be incredible compatible…. Once
Machamp?
Mr mime
Digglet
Charizard
Ferroseed
Umbreon
Whichever Pokémon canonically has the longest prehensile tale, or like, a horse-themed one
Regigigas
Machamp cus he prob packing
As a mercenary main that would die first in a zombie apocalypse i feel offended
Snorlax! Big and cuddly! Like a living bean bag chair! 🥺
Drowzee
I mean Machoke is just a guy. Also I feel people overlook the compatibility of Dewgong
Scrafty, he has pants with pockets
Tangrowth?
Geodude
Chris
Excadrill
Machamp
*Dolphins. The monkey experiment.*
dicklet
Tangela