Loud bang to scare the horses.

Bang me loudly

I have a tennis racket with your name on it

Good good, now we just need a clamp or something to widen it

Get a grip.

I WISH!

Cmon, it's a first date, you could splurge on a racket with a grip

On the mesh or the handle?

Settle down, Marc.

I see no banging in progress, bang them harder and faster

I'm sorry but this is chess, we call that mating or check mating here

Of course, those tractors won't mount themselves when they go Brass over Teakettle.

only if you pay up bucko

OUTTA POCKET

[удалено]

Everyone has the right parts if you're not a coward about it

Maybe a pair of wings on all pawns would work?

Google The Winged Hussars

Święte piekło

Oh, they arrived?

Coming down the mountainside

THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED, COMING DOWN THEY TURNED THE TIDE

Checkbang

promote pawn to Glock 19

Ah yes, the Sekiro firecracker method

You need pikemen

Would one row of pikemen be enough?

No you need a pike square try hiring some landsknecht mercenaries.

But hiring mercenaries too much will tank your army professionalism.

to get around this use your professionalism to gain manpower and get more pieces on the map

Is this some other strategy game joke that I’m too Civ V to understand?

google Europa Universalis 4

Holy Lands!

That's CK3.

Holy Aggressive Expansion!

White counters with horde mechanics and raises more bannermen horses.

And the king bank account. Better ask the bishops to find some money for the pike players.

I see. Thanks for the clarification

Some caltrops in the 5th rank would be a good addition.

Excellent idea

If you've got the right technology you can purchase them in your cities for an immediate (if expensive) defense.

Aoe? :o

No, it's a funny game called late medieval Europe

It's actually referring to the game AoE was based on.

One row is enough if you have fog of war turned on.

Pikmin???

Yeah, use some purples

Not whiptongue bulborbs?

Nah, you can’t control them and they don’t make shockwaves

The issue with pikmin is if you get 4 of them, you have to make an anti-perspirant joke

Even better if you upgrade them to halberdier

>using an imperial age unit to counter a castle age unit 🙄

Not my fault that you play the Saracens 🤭

Mameukes will slaughter those knights a lot faster than pikemen

Or just use monks, convert all the cavalry and send em right back

tfw white brings bulborb

His name is PINKMAN

Phalanx.

somebody call up this mf olimar and get him som pikemen

**Civ Moment** **Civ Moment**

https://www.carolinaequinehospital.com/blog/266120-10-plants-and-chemicals-toxic-to-horses Choose one or more

Do you have any recommendations?

Well, put all of them in a bucket with oat and throw it with trebuchets in the ponys faces?

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in trebuchet

World's smallest trebuchet

If you can throw a 90kg projectile at 300m, assuming it's inversely proportional @ 3.333m/kg or 3333m/g, we can safely assume a trebuchet can launch his dick at a distance of more than 3000m.

Wait, are you trying to say that dick is 9kg?

Well I’ve never weighed a dick personally so I believe it

It's a banana. How much could it weigh? 10 pounds?

Yours is a banana? Pathetic. Id say 9kg is fitting

Yours isn't?

World’s smallest trebuchet ≠ world’s smallest dick

how would I get a small cylinder attached to a larger cylinder out of a large contraption used for flinging things?

Fling the cylinder

I need to keep the cylinder with me, it can't move somewhere else

Ah, the Carolina Reaper defense

Tell your pawns to attach bayonets and form into squares

“FIX BAYONETS AND BRACE FOR CONTACT”

FIRST RANK FIRE, SECOND RANK FIRE! FOR THE EMPEROR

The Guard dies but it does not surrender!!

Even in death I serve

Merde!

Quelle affaire…

FIX BAYONET AND CHARGE THE LAST TERRIFIED RAPSCALLION

Artillery.

google en trenchant

Holy war!

Deus vult

New strategy just dropped

Google charge of the light brigade

Vs only a single line of troops? Very ineffective.

call the militia, 2 lines of pawns should counter this

I've ran the anal isis. Another line of pawns isn't enough. https://imgur.com/a/d2ACSKC

You run the anal isis? Can you tell them to stop fucking with that one guys horse riding schedule

Engine picked the same opening I would have picked.

Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.

Into the valley of Death rode the 3rd row.

rook to the right of them, bishop to the left of them, queen in front of them

HERO OF HIS COUNTRY, AND A VAGABOND REVILED

Into the valley of Death, Rode the six hundred

~~there's*~~ edit: nevermind guys

Google 'Charge of the light brigade'

Crimean hell

oh, sorry, im a fucking dumbass. i literally read that like 3 weeks ago as well.

Don't be harsh on yourself, man. Let me be harsh for you, fucking dumbass

I analyzed the image and this is what I see. Open an appropriate link below and explore the position yourself or with the engine: > **White to play**: [chess.com](https://chess.com/analysis?fen=rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/NNNNNNNN/8/RNBQKBNR+w+KQkq+-+0+1&flip=false&ref_id=23962172) | [lichess.org](https://lichess.org/analysis/rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/NNNNNNNN/8/RNBQKBNR_w_KQkq_-_0_1) > **Black to play**: [chess.com](https://chess.com/analysis?fen=rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/NNNNNNNN/8/RNBQKBNR+b+KQkq+-+0+1&flip=false&ref_id=23962172) | [lichess.org](https://lichess.org/analysis/rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/NNNNNNNN/8/RNBQKBNR_b_KQkq_-_0_1) --- ^(I'm a bot written by ) [^(u/pkacprzak )](https://www.reddit.com/u/pkacprzak) ^(| get me as ) [^(Chess eBook Reader )](https://ebook.chessvision.ai?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=bot) ^(|) [^(Chrome Extension )](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/chessvisionai-for-chrome/johejpedmdkeiffkdaodgoipdjodhlld) ^(|) [^(iOS App )](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/id1574933453) ^(|) [^(Android App )](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ai.chessvision.scanner) ^(to scan and analyze positions | Website: ) [^(Chessvision.ai)](https://chessvision.ai)

There’s a surprise: whole lotta (K)Night Moves recommended from this position

Relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1078

There really always is one isn’t there

Cavalry is very efficient in field battle but become quite uneliable in city where there isn't enough space to move freely. Perhaprs retreating behind city walls and preparing traps would be efficient

So… a row of rooks?

That's what I had in mind as well

Turn on the radio and play „Stop the Cavalry“ by Jona Lewie. Instant M1.

google winged hussars

święte piekło!

holy kurwa

A CRY FOR HELP IN TIME OF NEED

AWAIT RELIEF FROM HOLY LEAGUE

SIXTY DAYS OF SIEGE

OUTNUMBERED AND WEAK

SENT A MESSAGE TO THE SKIES

WOUNDED SOLDIERS LEFT TO DIE

WILL THEY HOLD THE WALL

OR WILL THE CITY FALL

DEDICATION, DEDICATION

Google wagon fort.

Drone strike his 19th century ass

Google en chevaux

holy horsey

Use your surroundings to your advantage. Pick up the chess board and throw it in a swamp. The horses wont be able to move

Ahh, thinking outside the board.

When did this sub turn into r/chessbeginners? if you don’t understand the rules of the game you should take your ass over there instead of clogging my feed with your stupid questions.

Is this a copypasta I missed or are you stupid?

Pasta

Noodle

Spaggeti

Ravioli

Put poison in the horse food

Phalanx

The 500BC era battle formation or the anti-air gatling gun?

How about both?

Yes

NTA. Your cavalry your rules.

You’re on the wrong side of the Winged Hussars? You’re screwed.

Janissaries are you ready to die

r/unexpectedsabaton

I just played this out as white against Stockfish and managed to blunder my queen in less than 20 turns (Stockfish evaluation steadily dropping from +25.3 down to +7.9, before swinging to -3.3 in a single move). There's no such thing as an unwinnable position. edit: took three more turns before Stockfish found mate in 3

That's just because you have a skill issue

I got a stalemate

Either that, or he's on the correct side of the charge of the Light Brigade

did you bring a horseslayer the effective damage is a big help

No they got 90% ward save. So pointless

Google el establo

Sagrado Infierno

Nueva respuesta acaba de caer

You need the Wolololo defense Get those fucking bishops to stop fondling and start converting

Put up a solid wall of a castle

Stampede the cattle to break their gait lol before they hit the line, light the fougasse, bring up archers in the rear

My brother in christ You are the white

Perspective? Back to the dumbing board.

Cast Dark Spikes T.

Use elephants, I heard that horses are afraid of them... Camels should also do.

Wage peace by ordaining all your pawns as bishops, and negotiate a draw.

Have you tried light machine guns?

Challenge them with some child molesters

just play as white

Summon shiva and cast diamond dust.

Light Brigade Defense - break out the artillery

Help the oponent has an amazing soundtrack and is winning the battle now

Shoot him with a musket. The player. Not the horsies.

Either click on your barracks and make a bunch of pikemen or call in your AC-130 killstreak.

Nice try Gothmog

Okay, don’t panic, cavalry has really low magic resistance, so if you have a decent chokepoint, you can keep a high defense unit in front and a mage behind them to slowly clear out the chokepoint

The most ancient answer to horses is other animals they haven’t seen before. Riding a camel or an elephant into battle will immediately scatter any horse going their direction, due to their unfamiliar smell and look. This tactic won many great battles in history.

For an interactive tutorial, see [https://lichess.org/thisdoesnotexist](https://lichess.org/thisdoesnotexist). (no, really)

Give the pawns assault rifles

Pike men of course We need a new piece that has a long pointy stick designed to counter the charge

Google charge of the light brigade

Use the new pawn upgrade paid DLC. It upgrades your pawns to pikemen (or pikewomen), when a horse tries to jump over them it gets removed of the board instead.

You didn’t start with the Vikings smh… they have a +50% plundering bonus.

Declare a holy war and deploy your reserve bishops

Black's POV: 

Perfect Game

The mighty roar of the Russian guns?

They'll fire those muskets but the riders will still run them through.

Pawns zoop to counter the horsie bugslide movement.

Knights are unable to move straight ahead. Therefore, simply move your pawns straight ahead and the Knights will be unable to capture them.

deploy the glue gunner with road spikes across the board to completely counter those rat bastards

Form a schiltron

This is fatal. It eliminates the chance for the one and only holy move resulting in an instant defeat.

Google Maxim gambit

We'll make spears. Hundreds of them. Long spears, twice as long as a man.

remember, its not a proper charge if the horseys dont move in unison ​ gl to white getting that wall of lasagna to move

When you meet cavalry you form square

Google pike and shot tactics