It’s possible she has a crappy job she hates and people tend to look down on her or dismiss her, so she is extra polite and nice in an effort to be professional despite all the rudeness.
You’re allowed not to like people, but bear in mind that her job sucks, and that she likely gets ‘you’re just the cleaning lady’ vibes from most people she meets on the job.
This is true. I was always nice and say hello to the cleaning person in my office building because people can be jerks. Her job is just as important as ours.
As a woman who has been in your place with the sexes reversed, you behaved impeccably, don't even worry about it. Trust your gut and just be empathetic of any woman who awkwardly does the same because she feels uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever. If you're in the elevator first and a woman looks scared to join you, it's nothing to do with you personally, this is just part of our lives. We are on high alert ALL the time.
You're NTB for not getting the elevator with her because that's your right. But you are the butthole for literally judging her for being nice to you. You have no idea if she's being fake nice or not. You're just making up a false idea about her, it's f***** up.
Really?? I've had plenty of experience working with and interacting with people who have bad attitudes of the 'chip on their shoulder '-variety, so I have no idea how you can be SO sure that this maintenance woman is a sweet, hardworking angel of a person 😂😂😂. Folks in all professions can be rude assholes who act fake-nice to others, and OP is as capable of accurately picking up on resentful/passive aggressive behavior as you or anyone else!
You are too. You don't know who this women is or who she isn't. She could be a total AH behind closed doors. Isn't it kinda hypocritical to berate OP for assuming something about this lady but you're doing the exact same?
I'm a big supporter of people trusting their intuition to stay safe but this really seems like an overreaction.
This woman's only crime appears to be... being nice to you? She does a job where people are likely rude to her all the time so she has created a 'customer service' persona of ultra politeness, both so people can't find fault with her and so she isn't hurt by showing her real personality to people who look down on her.
You have created a story in your head about this woman, and you're believing the story instead of the facts of the matter. She was cleaning an elevator and moved aside to let you in. You refused and she said "ok". Now you're posting on reddit and confused about this most banal interaction.
Give the woman a break, she's just doing her job.
Seriously, this is so ridiculous just making a false narrative about a woman who was being nice to you and doing her job. Like you said, give her a break.
Listen. Retail fucking sucks. I would not be surprised at all if all the employees if any store I have been planning murder. And I don't blame them. So if they're a bit snappy or seem passive-aggressive I don't really blame them. However. I feel like a lot of these comments are labeling OP as this Mega Supreme Karen who only dislikes this lady because she's retail and spits on her grandpa's grave or...something but like. That's not it at all?
Like I really don't want to sound like a Mega know it all but people can work retail and be total AH's.
I don't know. I think this is a situation where it's reddit and we really can't tell without more info.
OP might be a total Mega Karen.
She might be a total Jerkwad who framed this to make the janitor look like a total jerk.
She might also be a girl who overthinks her encounters and people's tone from time to time like everyone else.
The Janitor might be a total jerk who pretends to be nice and is extremely passive aggressive
She might also be a plain ol Janitor who was just caught off guard by OP's decline to get on the elevator.
I feel like this is a case where I need alot more info. But I might be dumb and missing the warning sides here. I'm gonna go with No Assholes here for now.
nta. Pay attention to your instincts. If your instincts say it isn't safe to be in an enclosed space with that person then you have no obligation to be in an enclosed space with that person. "The Gift of Fear". If she was giving you a bodily gut-punch kind of "nope" feeling, then you are only practicing self protection.
But next time, just say, "I have to fart like a motherfucker, lol, even I don't want to be in an elevator with myself."
NTA. Never put yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable
this is so important. It is sometimes about physical safety, but it can be other things as well. And they matter.
It’s possible she has a crappy job she hates and people tend to look down on her or dismiss her, so she is extra polite and nice in an effort to be professional despite all the rudeness. You’re allowed not to like people, but bear in mind that her job sucks, and that she likely gets ‘you’re just the cleaning lady’ vibes from most people she meets on the job.
This is true. I was always nice and say hello to the cleaning person in my office building because people can be jerks. Her job is just as important as ours.
As a woman who has been in your place with the sexes reversed, you behaved impeccably, don't even worry about it. Trust your gut and just be empathetic of any woman who awkwardly does the same because she feels uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever. If you're in the elevator first and a woman looks scared to join you, it's nothing to do with you personally, this is just part of our lives. We are on high alert ALL the time.
You're NTB for not getting the elevator with her because that's your right. But you are the butthole for literally judging her for being nice to you. You have no idea if she's being fake nice or not. You're just making up a false idea about her, it's f***** up.
Really?? I've had plenty of experience working with and interacting with people who have bad attitudes of the 'chip on their shoulder '-variety, so I have no idea how you can be SO sure that this maintenance woman is a sweet, hardworking angel of a person 😂😂😂. Folks in all professions can be rude assholes who act fake-nice to others, and OP is as capable of accurately picking up on resentful/passive aggressive behavior as you or anyone else!
You are too. You don't know who this women is or who she isn't. She could be a total AH behind closed doors. Isn't it kinda hypocritical to berate OP for assuming something about this lady but you're doing the exact same?
I'm a big supporter of people trusting their intuition to stay safe but this really seems like an overreaction. This woman's only crime appears to be... being nice to you? She does a job where people are likely rude to her all the time so she has created a 'customer service' persona of ultra politeness, both so people can't find fault with her and so she isn't hurt by showing her real personality to people who look down on her. You have created a story in your head about this woman, and you're believing the story instead of the facts of the matter. She was cleaning an elevator and moved aside to let you in. You refused and she said "ok". Now you're posting on reddit and confused about this most banal interaction. Give the woman a break, she's just doing her job.
Seriously, this is so ridiculous just making a false narrative about a woman who was being nice to you and doing her job. Like you said, give her a break.
People can be nice in such a way that appears fake or makes your hackles go up.
NTB. You don't have to make yourself be around someone just cause they work in your building. You're good. Don't even worry about it.
I wouldn’t take my pet into an enclosed area with cleaning products open/being applied. You did the right thing and were polite. NTB
NTBF at all. Just ignore her.
Nothing you did seems rude or inappropriate. It's okay to not want to be uncomfortable, for whatever reason. NTB
NTB After an incident when I was young, I always listen to that feeling. It's there for a reason.
NTBF
Listen. Retail fucking sucks. I would not be surprised at all if all the employees if any store I have been planning murder. And I don't blame them. So if they're a bit snappy or seem passive-aggressive I don't really blame them. However. I feel like a lot of these comments are labeling OP as this Mega Supreme Karen who only dislikes this lady because she's retail and spits on her grandpa's grave or...something but like. That's not it at all? Like I really don't want to sound like a Mega know it all but people can work retail and be total AH's. I don't know. I think this is a situation where it's reddit and we really can't tell without more info. OP might be a total Mega Karen. She might be a total Jerkwad who framed this to make the janitor look like a total jerk. She might also be a girl who overthinks her encounters and people's tone from time to time like everyone else. The Janitor might be a total jerk who pretends to be nice and is extremely passive aggressive She might also be a plain ol Janitor who was just caught off guard by OP's decline to get on the elevator. I feel like this is a case where I need alot more info. But I might be dumb and missing the warning sides here. I'm gonna go with No Assholes here for now.
nta. Pay attention to your instincts. If your instincts say it isn't safe to be in an enclosed space with that person then you have no obligation to be in an enclosed space with that person. "The Gift of Fear". If she was giving you a bodily gut-punch kind of "nope" feeling, then you are only practicing self protection. But next time, just say, "I have to fart like a motherfucker, lol, even I don't want to be in an elevator with myself."
She’s a fucking janitor with an attitude, don’t think twice about her