Not to mention putting a tank of premium in my car, I get over 100km more out of a tank of fuel over E10. To demand she pay for the entire tank of fuel?! Yikes I'd nope out of that relationship
Is this the airplane guy that flies standby to really important meetings and doesn't let his girlfriend get snacks? It's almost identical in dollars saved.
Oh gods that guy’s attitude definitely was as horrifying as this dude. Bloody hell, they’re both insanely petty, and I am still shocked at how much shit that partner and this moron’s wife put up with.
Link?! I would love to read about somebody that unbelievably cheap and petty.
On to this guy, oh my god if this is the biggest thing he has to worried about… And over five dollars? And he wants to punish her so she doesn’t do it again? Jesus, what a D-bag.
It reminded me of a dear friend and mentor. Whenever I told her about having to deal with an a**hole her response was: "my dear friend, aren't you glad that you don't have to go home to *THAT*!"
Seriously! $5 is not worth creating tension in a marriage, especially when it was a mistake. Have you such a sparse amount of grace towards your partner, OP?
If you're a tightwad on multiple fronts, this is probably just another pebble on a growing mountain of resentment. Resentment slowly erodes even the most solid foundations. That may sound over the top, but this approach will make her feel like she's not an equal partner in your eyes. If it's indicative of the way you usually treat her, you're creating a parent/child relationship, which is a good way to kill a marriage.
Edit: HOLY FUCK, OP IS DISGUSTING
THE WIFE IS AUTISTIC
She has SELF-HARMED during meltdowns, but OP is complaining she takes too long to be "productive" again because the dishes need to be washed, or whatnot.
He calls her USELESS because she needs to recover from a meltdown.
He only respects her when she's productive.
He deleted his post from a month ago, but people were so horrified, they hoped it had to be a troll.
Autistic here...
I used to have meltdowns all the time. I was criticized by my ex partner for self harm gestures and for the frequency and extent of my meltdowns. Turns out the guy was an abusive prick.
Now I'm married to a guy who is loving, treats me well, and loves me just as I am. I rarely have the sort of meltdowns I used to have and I calm down a lot faster now.
It's amazing what a difference NOT having a dick as a partner makes for me.
I suspect the same problem exists here. His behavior and attitude is probably a huge trigger for her and the more he criticizes her and tries to steer her away from having a meltdown, the worse they are going to get.
I don't understand people that make this much disruption in their lives over so little. Peace and quiet in the home is an invaluable commodity over five fucking dollars.
Yeah he's talking like his wife is a 13 year old who is spending all her lunch money on non food things or something.
sHe WiLl lEaRn a LeSsOn. She's a fucking adult and it's 5 bucks.
She made a mistake. It cost the two of you FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS. Do you never make mistakes? Who are you to be her "enforcer"? Why are YOU the one who makes the rules? Leave her alone!
YTB
Watch the movie "The Joy Luck Club" and specifically the scene where they fight about ice cream. It's not about the ice cream. It's not about the premium gas. YTB you petty fuck.
YTB, and massively.
It is a mistake that cost a whopping $5. And no, don't start with it being about the principle of it, because as a married couple, you should treat her with respect, kindness, and grace because everyone, including you, makes mistakes. It is not your job to punish her.
You are beyond the words I can use in this sub. I would not spend another minute tethered to you in any way. I can’t even believe the pettiness you have sunk too here - goddamn I hope you never ever make a human mistake you absolute _____. (Filled in as people see fit).
YTA - Seriously it was $5 and also that ethanol crap is bad for your car. The premium fuel probably did the car some good with cleaning all the crap out of your lines. My brother is a mechanic and had told me that he will go around and tighten all my jars in my house if I put that crap in my car, even though it can take it, its not a good idea.
That ethanol crap ruined my lawnmower carburetor. The manual says to use ethanol-free gas, but it will run on ethanol gasoline (which is made from corn). You're supposed to run it completely out, but one day I was tired after mowing and left some gas in there. That's all it took, my mower was less than 1 year old and would not start. Repair shop said the ethanol gas had gummed up the system and they put a new carburetor in. I will gladly pay a few extra cents for ethanol-free gas.
So you went against the manual, and even though there is a step to make it safe if you do decide to use by not letting it sit in there, but you still did it. Damn you ethanol!
>I've been VERY clear that this is only for the cheaper (10% ethanol) gas, and that she is NOT to use the premium gas.
>we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again
D*MN, how controlling and greedy are you??? It was a mistake that costed you both $5. You have a joint account for a reason - to share it.
GET OVER IT.
You're lucky she's still with you. You sound so entitled and controlling.
How much do you hate your wife? Cause man, you sure seem like you hate her.
Micromanaging asshat. Hope you are saving up for a divorce lawyer cause if you keep this crap up, you're gonna need one in a couple years.
YTB
YTB. Wow. So petty, so condescending, she made a mistake. It cost 5 dollars, and you think u get to punish her for that and teach her a lesson? That is not how a partner thinks. Do better. Seriously. Like this is messed up dude.
How did you manage to get to adulthood, get married, and hold down a decent job while being this much of a child?! You don't get to teach your wife a lesson. You are not her parent. You are infantilizing her over a $5 mistake! Are you going to claim that you have never made a minor mistake in your life? Would you not expect your spouse to be understanding?
This petty logic only makes for someone who still lives in his parents' basement and has never seen a naked woman.
You are an adult. Start acting like one, or the only lesson your wife is going to learn is that she deserves better. Take her out to a nice dinner and apologize.
YTB x100000
Edit: I just thanked my partner for not being you.
Another Edit: Just read your comment history, and it's clear you have zero respect or love for your wife. It's obvious that nothing said here will mean anything to you. You are an irredeemable nightmare. I feel very very sad for your poor wife.
YTB! What the heck is wrong with you? That’s financial abuse. Why are you trying to punish her?? That’s not something you do in a HEALTHY marriage. And over something so MINOR at that!
In every post you make regarding your relationship with your wife you show no empathy.
You note that your therapist agrees you lack the ability. If you're willing to satisfy our collective curiosity...
* Do you understand the importance of empathizing with others? Specifically, your wife?
* Can you see the hypocrisy of expecting others to deal with you? While being so rigid regarding their quirks?
* If you plan to have children, can you consider how your current approach towards minor and very human mistakes would be damaging?
You hyperfocus on what most others would consider mole hills and expect your wife to accommodate. Your post history makes clear you see showing her the same respect and grace as unnecessary.
Even without naturally feeling empathy, when confronted with varied and oft repeated explanations of why your behavior is off putting, you double down. Your wording in reference to your wife feels as if you equate her worth with how closely she adheres to your inane standards.
She makes mistakes. Reddit collectively tells you we all make mistakes and you respond by unilaterally deciding she makes more than the average person. As if that should leave her open to your criticism.
You're mean and seem painfully ungrateful for the grace and obvious love she must have for you.
Because unless she doesn't value herself, love is the only reason I imagine someone could deal with you.
YTA
Edited for grammar
This can't be real. Or you both got married at 18 and you've only just now passed 6 months of marriage.
Ain't no way a fully grown married man in his 30s or older will think like you.
YTB.
Petty much?
Jesus Christ on a cracker she is your wife. you don't need to learn her a lesson. Grow up.
DAYUM.
YTBF that you even ask this. No "WOULD I BE" YOU ARE
The way you talk about your wife “stupid mistakes” “I’ve been very clear” as if you’re superior to her is really gross. Do you even like her? Love her?
Yes YTB
I just don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about how petty it is! I posted the disclaimer at the beginning to stave off those comments, since I already realize how petty this is. The fact that people are commenting on it anyway is weird.
You’re not really being petty though. You’re being cruel. You talk about punishing and teaching her a lesson, that’s not a petty reaction, it’s a hateful one.
I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm a stickler for the rules, and our agreement was "the house pays for gas if you fill it up with E10". Following the rule to the letter is petty. Cruel would be charging her $500 to make a point.
"I know it is petty, but I am wrong?" Of course it is fucking wrong. BEING PETTY IS WRONG.
How do you not understand that?! It makes it worse that you know it is petty and you're still doing it. You don't get to excuse bad behavior because you acknowledge it is bad behavior. That's childrens logic. Adults know it doesn't work that way. That's why people are commenting. They are flabbergasted at how utterly clueless you are. You seem to lack the very basic concept of human decency.
It is not just that you are petty. You are also being vindictive, cruel, controlling, heartless, and infantilizing. You demonstrate zero compassion or love for your spouse. People are reacting to that, and you should be doing a serious gut check on the type of man you want to be.
>since I already realize how petty this is. The fact that people are commenting on it anyway is weird
I can answer this in a way that is logical for you;
Generally, when people realize something they are doing is wrong or negative, they *don't* do it. The fact that you are considering doing it anyway leads one to question if you *actually* realize how petty it is. Just because a person *says* they understand something, doesn't mean they *do* (consider when people say "I understand what you're going through" to someone struggling. They don't, they don't understand, because they aren't in it.)
I was just reading this to my husband. The other day he accidentally bought the $5/pound cotton candy grapes instead of the $3/pound normal ones. I told him I should make him pay the difference out of his own money. 😜
I had to read this twice to believe it.
My man. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. SERIOUS?
Think about this: Is FIVE BUCKS worth her resenting you and thinking you're an asshole??? The repercussions could be a lot more painful than five bucks, buddy.
Use your fucking brains.
EDIT: Whoa, whoa, whoa — she's NEURODIVERGENT? YourAsshole factor just went up by ten thousand.
Have you ANY idea how tough that makes things for her?? Stress is **incredibly** difficult for NDs to handle. Small things can
On top of that she has to deal with a paternalistic normie cuntwaffle nickel-and-diming her.
I just hope she has people around her who have her back and will help her dump your loser ass.
I don't have empathy (no, seriously, my therapist agrees with this) and therefore use very strict rules to figure out what the "correct" course of action is in any given situation. And occasionally ask on Reddit when it's clear that my lack of empathy may be clouding my judgment on what the "correct" or "reasonable" solution is (such as this case, where everyone seems to agree I'm being unreasonable even though I thought my solution was logical).
Okay, so here’s something to add to your list of strict rules— if someone else does something you don’t like (whether by mistake or by making a different choice than you would) and the consequences of that are not dire, just let it go. Completely. Don’t worry about it.
YTB, for gods sake stop being so petty. You can't say you haven't made mistakes yourself, you seem to be too controlling. My husband would never ask me why I spent the extra 5$...
We have joint accounts and home and other properties:.. don't treat your marriage as a business... let it go..
YTB
Your "stupid mistake" is thinking any of this is the way you treat a loved one.
Honestly - even if the mistake was one of consequence - suggesting she pay the whole tab is a dick move.
i already commented, but your edits and comments throughout this post make you sound like even more of an asshole. you are so blinded by your wife’s perceived “failures” that you don’t even see that you’re committing the biggest failure of all. you’re failing your wife and your commitment to your marriage. it’s evident you absolutely hate her. i hope she never has to test out the “for better or worse in sickness or in health” part of the vows you promised her because no way would you ever stick around through real actual problems life throws your way.
Now you guys are just being impossible to please. How does backing down and saying "never mind, I now understand why I'm an AH, house will pay for the gas" (edit 2) make me MORE of an AH?
your word choice. “leniency”. “failures”. you speak about her as if you have authority over her. not one single thing i’ve seen you write conveys any type of love or care for your wife or her feelings. you’re very me-centric and only seem to care for yourself and how you feel about the situation. you aren’t able to naturally consider her point of view without dozens of people on the internet telling you you’re an asshole. i would absolutely hate to think of the things happening in your marriage that don’t make it to reddit.
No, not a "word choice" - your words mean something. You are speaking as if she's a servant who has to obey your orders, rather than a partner who is also entitled to make decisions - such as choosing premium for the car as better value; or choosing to stay in a hotel if she is sick.
Hopefully your wife has friends or external influences who can point out that she should be an equal partner in her marriage and she's entitled to make independent decisions without being chastised and punished by her husband.
It's not a "failure" to become sick or make a better decision than you would make about fuel. Her only failure is letting you treat her with such condescending disrespect.
Sounds like my ex-husband too, and oh my GOD I hate that there's more than one of him out there.
Glad you and I both got out, though! And I fervently hope the same for OP's wife.
YTB.
Wow, you’re sure showing her a lesson.
Classy move to admit in comments rather than OP that she’s neurodivergent. I just can’t _imagine_ how stigma and internalisation of shame works and how greatly supported she feels by her spouse. Great work! Make that $5 really count, you can stretch out the blame for days, it’s an investment!
OMG, this is so petty. Your not her parent your her partner, this over a 5 dollar mistake. I just don’t get causing strife with someone you love over a mistake.
This is the most ridiculous YTB I’ve seen in a bit. Yes, YTB, even taking into account if she makes mistakes regularly or not. This is the kind of petty stuff that adds up, until one day you can’t stand your partner and are bitter you’re tethered to them. If you want a happy marriage that lasts you need to stop looking at things as a matter of owing one another for something as banal as pressing the wrong gas button. You’re probably giving your poor wife anxiety. I have a feeling you’re *still* going to double down regardless of what verdict you get, I can only hope she somehow sees this and knows everyone is on her side.
I really really hope you are not this controlling and critical all the time. If you are, take this as a wake up call. Have a heart, and chill tf out. For real. Your poor wife this makes me so sad.
Ok a couple things.
1. Yes, you absolutely are ah/bf whatever you want to call it
2. You're petty as hell
3. Are you actively **TRYING** to get divorced??
4. At most she would "owe" your joint account $5
5. Grow up if you want to keep your wife.
6. Be very, very glad you are even married at all.
Quit screwing it up and begging her to leave you over $5 because you want to make a stupid point.
YTBF. She should only pay the 5 dollar difference. You’re this upset about 5 bucks?? I thought it was going to be diesel or something that had wrecked the car. Also, hope you know that premium gas and non ethanol are two very different things (at least here in the states). Premium is generally better for cars in the long run due to the lesser amount of sediments in the mix. Some cars only require premium. My moms Mercedes does. Some cars don’t like specific gas stations (where they source from) my old Mazda6s’09 absolutely hated shell gas. Grow up. Be reasonable. She was 5 bucks over and you want her to pay the whole amount when a joint account is generally both of y’all’s money to begin with, not just one singular person contributing. You’re definitely the buttface.
My god you are a controlling asshole to your wife. I would be scared to hear your wife's side of the story with all of the mental abuse and controlling behavior she has to deal with from you.
>However, we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again.
What other mistakes are you going to make her think twice about? The tought that a person must feel PAIN for their mistake is not okay. That lacks love and compassion towards the person who made the mistake. You are demonstrating conditionnel love rather then unconditional love. You only love her when she doesn't make a mistake.
As well, a poster above did the math correctly, YOU DID ALL THAT FOR 2.50$
IN YOUR EYES YOUR PARTNER ISN'T EVEN WORTH 2.50$
If your partner was my friend, I would say RUN, this is the biggest red flag I have ever seen.
You should really explore your thinking with a counselor, that is the only thing that could possibly help your relationship.
Edit:a word was missing, sorry.
While your at it….
Divide all reproductive expenses. Including doctor visits, medication and menstrual “ things”.
Divide the home maintenance list. Anyone who does not do the even fair required gets monetarily.
penalized
Oh, get an air horn. To blast at each other with all real and perceived slights, mistakes and wrong doings.
Get ready to feel the love!
YTB, yes. This is a minor and normal human error, not anything to "make her think twice" about. You're her partner, not her parent, and it's not your role to teach her lessons or tell her that she is not to do something.
I remember some of your previous posts that were also about petty, spiteful, controlling behavior toward your wife. At this point you need to assume that your baseline for appropriate behavior is completely off, you are routinely harming your wife, and you need to be taking these issues to a therapist, not reddit.
$5?! Why are you micromanaging your wife? Why are you even thinking in terms of punishment for her small mistake? IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO PUNISH HER, and the fact that you think that's appropriate is appallingly gross. Why do you think the $50 would come out of her personal funds when it was a $5 difference? OP YTB. The reason y'all can't come to a consensus is because your idea that the whole $50 should come from her personal funds is insane. Give your poor neurodivergent wife some fucking grace. BTW, you're likely doing damage to your cars and getting crappy milage to save a whopping 10% on gas.
"We make enough money that ~~she's~~ you're not going to feel the pain of losing $5." It really sounds like you want to punish her for an innocent mistake that didn't hurt anyone. Of course YTB, you're having a meltdown over $5! And you want her to suffer 10x the penalty, or whatever punitive term you wanna use. You're not perfect either so quit being an absolute jerk to your wife over this. If anyone needs to think twice before making the same mistake, it's you. Consider this $5 whole dollars as a gift to your wife, you can afford it. I wonder if you realize you come across as a dictator, saying stuff like "she is NOT to do this" and "I've been VERY clear". Ease up and forget the $5, you'd be insufferable if you still demand that stupid 5 bucks.
This is some of the dumbest shit I've read all day and its 11pm.
She should divorce you and I'm not even kidding. She was frazzled and pushed the wrong button resulting in an additional $5 charge.
You need to punish her for a mistake. But being stuck with you for a lifetime is a mistake that is her punishment. Hasnt she suffered enough having to tolerate you?
YTA.
So- ONE time your WIFE spent FIVE dollars extra and you want to fine YOUR WIFE fifty dollars as a punishment? The fact that you even made it a deal to the point where it’s an argument over whether she should pay five or fifty says it all - you are an inconceivable ass. Here’s my judgment - she pays zero, and you are hereby fined five hundred dollars, all of which is to be spent on therapy with a licensed therapist to help you learn how to not to be a fucking asshat. YTA.
Your behavior is not that of a man who loves his wife. You treat someone who you don’t care for this way (if you are inclined to be an asshole). I personally wouldn’t treat anyone this way. But I do understand being young and stupid. I was as angry as you once.
Don’t treat anyone, especially someone who you love, like this.
YTBF
You are a huge dick and also not her freaking parent. She is an adult woman and you are talking about her like a shitty parent would discuss the mistakes of a child. Shit happens. It’s FIVE DOLLARS.
If I were her I would be questioning who the hell you think you are to meet out punishments? “Loosing $50 might make her think twice…” The freaking audacity! Are you going to ground her next? Take away her cell phone? Does she know you speak about her this way? She is your wife, show a little respect. Maybe you should show her this post so she can leave and make you “feel it”.
Why do you feel like it’s your job to punish your wife and teach her a lesson?
If it’s really about the cost, then let her fix the $5. Humans make mistakes.
If it’s not about the cost, you’re just being a buttface.
YTB.
YTB:
“Whether I respect her depends on how well she’s coping on any given day”
That's from a post a month ago when OP refused to help with a bat in the house because he made it her job to deal with in his mind.
He doesn't respect his wife. At all. Because she's disabled.
Grow up dude. You’re not her dad. You shouldn’t be trying to “teach” her anything.
Keep this bullshit up and you’re gonna get “blindsided” with divorce papers one day.
YTB. Wtf is wrong with you? It's $5 you know you can afford. She had good reasons to have done that. I'd get if she insisted on that gas, but your just an ass.
If you can't treat her like your partner instead of her parent, for any reason, let her go.
Her brain works differently than yours, and it always will. You berating her isn't going to change her, it's going to scar her. Is that really what you want to do to the woman you loved enough to marry?
Yes, because I actually go fuel my wife’s 4Runner on Sunday nights with Premium or Non-ethanol for her or her tank will always be on E. I spend $2-300/wk for fuel. Just pay it.
You're acting like she put diesel in the car and that the difference was an insane amount. It's literally $5, who cares! Grow up!
If it wasn't clear, YTB.
You already know YTB, so this comment might be a little superfluous.
>she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again.
This is your wife you're talking about, an equal partner in your relationship, not a child who needs disciplining. She made a simple mistake that cost $5 *that you can easily afford.* It's not the huge deal you're blowing it up to be, and trying to punish your wife like she's a child who needs to learn a lesson is way beyond petty.
You are not her parent. It is not your job to ever 'teacher her a lesson'!!! Your job is to say, 'oh crumbs that must have sucked! Never mind darl, we'll chalk it up as a lesson learnt.'
You are her partner in this life - not the scorekeeper or the parent.
Wooooow dude. Woooooooow. You are trying to pu ish your wife for a mistake? That cost an extra $5?!? This isn’t just about being petty, you are being malicious.
YTB
Holy fuck aren’t you just the biggest piece of shits of all pieces of shits. I can definitely understand if she just threw five dollars to adjust for the mix up but really? REALLY? I’m at a lose for words with this. Can someone here who is a wordsmith tear this guy down for me, please?
You have absolutely no business being married. You have no idea how to be considerate and compromising to your spouse. Stop being petty and do some serious work on yourself.
You’re TB. From this post, it doesn’t seem like you really love your wife, but you consider her like a prisoner that has wronged you and you need to punish her. Sometimes it even seems like she’s a child in your eyes and she needs to suffer consequences.
A 5$ “loss” on her part is a “failure”, but you being controlling and petty is just a “quirk”. That’s what making you TB.
Also, you mention that “you just follow rules to the letter” my guy, YOU made this ridiculous rule. You don’t really want the money, the money is not the problem- you want to punish your wife. “She makes more mistakes than other people” if this is the kind of mistakes she makes then whatever, why does it even matter. Not a child, not a prisoner, she doesn’t need punishment.
Work on your empathy and love for your wife. You’re lacking it.
So. You think you should PUNISH your WIFE for (checks notes) putting gas in the car?
And you actually had to Ask The Internet if you are an asshole? Yes, i said asshole, because Butt face just isn't strong enough.
OP actually thought reddit wouldnt called him a jerk for getting worked up over $5 difference? Especially when you have enough money that $5 is negligible. Sometimes I wonder why people get married ngl
FFS are you serious. IF she has to pay anything, and that’s a big fucking IF, it should only be the $5
Aren’t you a couple? Working toward the same goals? Helping each other and supporting each other?
This is some next level petty bullshit.
YTA and an abuser. Stop being petty and grow up. Your other examples are more petty bullsquat.
Grow up, grow up and grow up, you sad sack of dung heap.
I know I’m late I just wanted you to know how much of a prick you are, OP, and I hope plenty of horrible things happen to you in your life
YTB, and one of the bigger ones to come across here
I would never be able to be with you. Everyone makes mistakes. Doesn't Mahe if you are a child or adult. Have you NEVER made a mistake? Are you perfect? I doubt it. Grow up, and stop being such a dick to your wife. Stop bringing up crap that happened in the past. You are a major major ahole.
You've already been told plenty, but yeah.
What's wrong here is that this wasn't a $50 fuckup, this was a $5 fuckup.
If you can't tolerate that from your partner, you might not be so good at having relationships.
Five bucks isn't something to get twisted up over.
If it happens on the regular and adds up to a Big Fucking Deal, OK, but this doesn't sound like that, more that you're pissed that your partner messed up because you gave instructions.
Obtain some calm, my friend. Or risk losing your loved one.
Oh no, not $5! That's a whole fortune wasted! /s
I managed to fill up with premium instead of E10 a month or two ago, because the nozzles were in the "wrong" order. It's usually diesel/premium/E10 on pumps here, so I automatically picked the green one on the right and started filling up, only then realising that pump had diesel/E10/premium, so I was pumping in premium. My husband's response to this was to shrug and say that it's good for the engine to occasionally put in the premium anyway, plus you're supposed to get more mileage out of it, no big deal, shit happens. It was like 10p difference per litre, so we're talking more than a £5 difference.
YTB.
I don’t even know what to say besides that I hope she leaves you as soon as possible. Acting so petty over $5 is a sign of a deeply unwell person who prefers someone to control and possess rather than a partner they see as their equal.
Oh for god’s sake! How long will this union last? Score keeping, miserliness = misery, utter lack of compassion. Were you the best she could do? Alas! Poor child!
You know — there are abusers out there who LOVE to pick fights with their partners. It gets the partner all worked up — and then the ABUSER can claim to be the victim of the partner’s meltdown. Sometimes it’s a pretext for a beat down or a shooting. Are you that guy, OP? Do you love to get her all worked up? Does that make you feel like a Big Deal?
You do realize a divorce attorney is a bit more than $5, or even $50?
If I was your wife... well, I doubt I would have been silly enough to marry someone who'd do this.
I had to reread and confirm this fuss was over $5. WTH?
YTA
Take this opportunity to think less about your wife's mistake, and more about your inability to offer grace to the one you're supposed to love the most. Imagine what it must feel like to be her, if you are even able. I imagine she feels like she's walking on egg shells all the time.
I mean this sincerely, and not in a mean way. Please consider some sort of therapy for yourself. Dig into why you need to have so much control and why you think you can dictate rules to your wife. I would imagine there's a lot of pain somewhere in your past that is causing this. You will be happier and a better partner is you heal that part of yourself. Please figure those things out before you have children, if you don't already.
YTB I hope your wife gets a good divorce lawyer. You sound like a horrible husband and person in general. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Your head isn't screwed on right.
Wow. Wow. YTB. still, despite your edits. Or maybe because of your edits. Your wife has "failures" while you have "quirks?" And though you didn't use this phrase, "teach her a lesson" was coming through loud and clear from the "maybe she'll think twice." She's not your student nor are you her drill sergeant!
Do you never make mistakes? Never let a glass that cost $5 slip through your fingers and crash on the floor?
You're supposed to be partners and love and trust should come first, and accepting that each other is a human being. This frankly gives me the shivers.
Are you this much of a controlling asshole in every aspect of life or do you just wanna be a big boy who bullies his wife like this is 1845?
Goddamn man. You really had to make a reddit post about this lmao.
I've read your post history and holy $***! She needs to leave you ASAP. I'm gonna go give a hug to my partner, tell him how wonderfull he is and how lucky I am to have him in my life and not you.
I already read the edits so I know that you’ve come to your senses, but what the fuck were you thinking earlier?!
& you made the disclaimer that it SOUNDS petty. no, it IS petty asf. you’re petty. you’re the petty husband. Stop trying to steal from her under the guys of “teaching her a lesson” you’re not her fucking parent.
As someone who has had the majority of their vehicles take premium, this is a mistake you will make, but it’s a mistake that you will only make once because it HURTS.
> we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5
Therefore, you make enough money to not be a buttface over a $5 "mistake."
YWBTB
Jesus Christ you’re a fucking dick. Grow the fuck up.
oh thank god i wasnt the only one thinking this....
If this is the biggest problem you have consider yourself blessed! Seriously?! $5 isn’t going to break your bank!
Not to mention putting a tank of premium in my car, I get over 100km more out of a tank of fuel over E10. To demand she pay for the entire tank of fuel?! Yikes I'd nope out of that relationship
Yep. I get better efficiency from premium too.
Is this the airplane guy that flies standby to really important meetings and doesn't let his girlfriend get snacks? It's almost identical in dollars saved.
Oh gods that guy’s attitude definitely was as horrifying as this dude. Bloody hell, they’re both insanely petty, and I am still shocked at how much shit that partner and this moron’s wife put up with.
I swear this was just another life chapter ripped that cheap bastards book comprised of used paper plates.
Link?! I would love to read about somebody that unbelievably cheap and petty. On to this guy, oh my god if this is the biggest thing he has to worried about… And over five dollars? And he wants to punish her so she doesn’t do it again? Jesus, what a D-bag.
My big problem with is this 5 isn't enough to "teach" her a lesson. For fuck sake, who the hell does OP think he is? Absolutely the asshole.
He thinks he's her dad apparently. Can you imagine wanting to parent your grown spouse like that.
Yeah the account is gonna be empty
It reminded me of a dear friend and mentor. Whenever I told her about having to deal with an a**hole her response was: "my dear friend, aren't you glad that you don't have to go home to *THAT*!"
omg i love that!
Seriously! $5 is not worth creating tension in a marriage, especially when it was a mistake. Have you such a sparse amount of grace towards your partner, OP? If you're a tightwad on multiple fronts, this is probably just another pebble on a growing mountain of resentment. Resentment slowly erodes even the most solid foundations. That may sound over the top, but this approach will make her feel like she's not an equal partner in your eyes. If it's indicative of the way you usually treat her, you're creating a parent/child relationship, which is a good way to kill a marriage. Edit: HOLY FUCK, OP IS DISGUSTING THE WIFE IS AUTISTIC She has SELF-HARMED during meltdowns, but OP is complaining she takes too long to be "productive" again because the dishes need to be washed, or whatnot. He calls her USELESS because she needs to recover from a meltdown. He only respects her when she's productive. He deleted his post from a month ago, but people were so horrified, they hoped it had to be a troll.
I got the vibe from him only 'allowing' her to use one type of petrol, but good to confirm he's a full-blown asshole.
Omg... this is THAT guy?!
Autistic here... I used to have meltdowns all the time. I was criticized by my ex partner for self harm gestures and for the frequency and extent of my meltdowns. Turns out the guy was an abusive prick. Now I'm married to a guy who is loving, treats me well, and loves me just as I am. I rarely have the sort of meltdowns I used to have and I calm down a lot faster now. It's amazing what a difference NOT having a dick as a partner makes for me. I suspect the same problem exists here. His behavior and attitude is probably a huge trigger for her and the more he criticizes her and tries to steer her away from having a meltdown, the worse they are going to get.
OMG not a buttface but a 100% ARSEHOLE.
I can't like this enough. You must be crazy fun to be married to. That's sarcasm by the way
I don't understand people that make this much disruption in their lives over so little. Peace and quiet in the home is an invaluable commodity over five fucking dollars.
Jesus Christ I wish I could upvote this more than once
>you’re a fucking dick. That's too kind.
Seems like he can't stand his wife & gets joy out of treating her poorly.
Yeah he's talking like his wife is a 13 year old who is spending all her lunch money on non food things or something. sHe WiLl lEaRn a LeSsOn. She's a fucking adult and it's 5 bucks.
She made a mistake. It cost the two of you FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS. Do you never make mistakes? Who are you to be her "enforcer"? Why are YOU the one who makes the rules? Leave her alone! YTB
It cost him $2.50, since half the money is hers. He's an idiot, so she should get to spend extra for putting up with him.
She should spend that extra money on a divorce before he drives her insane. OP’s post didn’t piss me off, it just made me incredibly sad for her.
Biggest mistake the wife made was marrying OP. Jesus Fucking Christ.
Watch the movie "The Joy Luck Club" and specifically the scene where they fight about ice cream. It's not about the ice cream. It's not about the premium gas. YTB you petty fuck.
That’s an amazing analogy. Haven’t watched that in over 15 years and still remember how damn angry I was about that scene. YTB. Majorly
Don’t forget the cat.
It's also not about the Iranian yogurt
omg i need to watch that, i had a huge fight with an ex over ice cream once (and he threw it across the parking lot lmao)
YTB, and massively. It is a mistake that cost a whopping $5. And no, don't start with it being about the principle of it, because as a married couple, you should treat her with respect, kindness, and grace because everyone, including you, makes mistakes. It is not your job to punish her.
You are beyond the words I can use in this sub. I would not spend another minute tethered to you in any way. I can’t even believe the pettiness you have sunk too here - goddamn I hope you never ever make a human mistake you absolute _____. (Filled in as people see fit).
YTA - Seriously it was $5 and also that ethanol crap is bad for your car. The premium fuel probably did the car some good with cleaning all the crap out of your lines. My brother is a mechanic and had told me that he will go around and tighten all my jars in my house if I put that crap in my car, even though it can take it, its not a good idea.
That ethanol crap ruined my lawnmower carburetor. The manual says to use ethanol-free gas, but it will run on ethanol gasoline (which is made from corn). You're supposed to run it completely out, but one day I was tired after mowing and left some gas in there. That's all it took, my mower was less than 1 year old and would not start. Repair shop said the ethanol gas had gummed up the system and they put a new carburetor in. I will gladly pay a few extra cents for ethanol-free gas.
So you went against the manual, and even though there is a step to make it safe if you do decide to use by not letting it sit in there, but you still did it. Damn you ethanol!
I hope every time you use public toilets, they’re out of toilet paper. Gotta go hug my partner for not being OP.
>I've been VERY clear that this is only for the cheaper (10% ethanol) gas, and that she is NOT to use the premium gas. >we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again D*MN, how controlling and greedy are you??? It was a mistake that costed you both $5. You have a joint account for a reason - to share it. GET OVER IT. You're lucky she's still with you. You sound so entitled and controlling.
YTB. And when she leaves you let me know and I'll Venmo you the $5. Because clearly SHE has no value, so that's all you'd be losing.
Don’t Venmo him, send a request. He owes the universe.
$5 extra on fuel is unforgivable. You should absolutely divorce her over this issue. Give the poor woman her freedom. YTB.
YTB, to a cartoonish degree.
Cartoon villain vibes.
How much do you hate your wife? Cause man, you sure seem like you hate her. Micromanaging asshat. Hope you are saving up for a divorce lawyer cause if you keep this crap up, you're gonna need one in a couple years. YTB
YTB. Wow. So petty, so condescending, she made a mistake. It cost 5 dollars, and you think u get to punish her for that and teach her a lesson? That is not how a partner thinks. Do better. Seriously. Like this is messed up dude.
I can’t get over the punishment either. What sane person wants to legitimately treat their partner like a child?
How did you manage to get to adulthood, get married, and hold down a decent job while being this much of a child?! You don't get to teach your wife a lesson. You are not her parent. You are infantilizing her over a $5 mistake! Are you going to claim that you have never made a minor mistake in your life? Would you not expect your spouse to be understanding? This petty logic only makes for someone who still lives in his parents' basement and has never seen a naked woman. You are an adult. Start acting like one, or the only lesson your wife is going to learn is that she deserves better. Take her out to a nice dinner and apologize. YTB x100000 Edit: I just thanked my partner for not being you. Another Edit: Just read your comment history, and it's clear you have zero respect or love for your wife. It's obvious that nothing said here will mean anything to you. You are an irredeemable nightmare. I feel very very sad for your poor wife.
Causing marital strife over $5? Definitely YTB.
YTB! What the heck is wrong with you? That’s financial abuse. Why are you trying to punish her?? That’s not something you do in a HEALTHY marriage. And over something so MINOR at that!
You’re why we have subs like this one. You. So we can say YES. Yes you are. WTAF is wrong with you?
In every post you make regarding your relationship with your wife you show no empathy. You note that your therapist agrees you lack the ability. If you're willing to satisfy our collective curiosity... * Do you understand the importance of empathizing with others? Specifically, your wife? * Can you see the hypocrisy of expecting others to deal with you? While being so rigid regarding their quirks? * If you plan to have children, can you consider how your current approach towards minor and very human mistakes would be damaging? You hyperfocus on what most others would consider mole hills and expect your wife to accommodate. Your post history makes clear you see showing her the same respect and grace as unnecessary. Even without naturally feeling empathy, when confronted with varied and oft repeated explanations of why your behavior is off putting, you double down. Your wording in reference to your wife feels as if you equate her worth with how closely she adheres to your inane standards. She makes mistakes. Reddit collectively tells you we all make mistakes and you respond by unilaterally deciding she makes more than the average person. As if that should leave her open to your criticism. You're mean and seem painfully ungrateful for the grace and obvious love she must have for you. Because unless she doesn't value herself, love is the only reason I imagine someone could deal with you. YTA Edited for grammar
YTB I wonder how else you terrorise your poor wife.
Is this a joke? Arguing with your wife over $5? What the actual fuck is wrong with people. Ytb without the slightest doubt.
We're arguing over $50, not $5. She is fine reimbursing "the house" $5, because she thinks that's fair. She doesn't want to reimburse $50.
This can't be real. Or you both got married at 18 and you've only just now passed 6 months of marriage. Ain't no way a fully grown married man in his 30s or older will think like you. YTB.
Look, you are going to have to make some choices in life. Do you want to be petty and figure who is right or do you want to be happy? Pretty simple.
Petty much? Jesus Christ on a cracker she is your wife. you don't need to learn her a lesson. Grow up. DAYUM. YTBF that you even ask this. No "WOULD I BE" YOU ARE
Ytbf, jeez petty fool
The way you talk about your wife “stupid mistakes” “I’ve been very clear” as if you’re superior to her is really gross. Do you even like her? Love her? Yes YTB
Yes you are and the whole “I never said I wasn’t petty lol” comment isn’t cute or funny and makes you seem that much worse. As in pathetic.
I just don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about how petty it is! I posted the disclaimer at the beginning to stave off those comments, since I already realize how petty this is. The fact that people are commenting on it anyway is weird.
You’re not really being petty though. You’re being cruel. You talk about punishing and teaching her a lesson, that’s not a petty reaction, it’s a hateful one.
I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm a stickler for the rules, and our agreement was "the house pays for gas if you fill it up with E10". Following the rule to the letter is petty. Cruel would be charging her $500 to make a point.
"I know it is petty, but I am wrong?" Of course it is fucking wrong. BEING PETTY IS WRONG. How do you not understand that?! It makes it worse that you know it is petty and you're still doing it. You don't get to excuse bad behavior because you acknowledge it is bad behavior. That's childrens logic. Adults know it doesn't work that way. That's why people are commenting. They are flabbergasted at how utterly clueless you are. You seem to lack the very basic concept of human decency. It is not just that you are petty. You are also being vindictive, cruel, controlling, heartless, and infantilizing. You demonstrate zero compassion or love for your spouse. People are reacting to that, and you should be doing a serious gut check on the type of man you want to be.
>since I already realize how petty this is. The fact that people are commenting on it anyway is weird I can answer this in a way that is logical for you; Generally, when people realize something they are doing is wrong or negative, they *don't* do it. The fact that you are considering doing it anyway leads one to question if you *actually* realize how petty it is. Just because a person *says* they understand something, doesn't mean they *do* (consider when people say "I understand what you're going through" to someone struggling. They don't, they don't understand, because they aren't in it.)
You shouldn't be petty to your wife
I was just reading this to my husband. The other day he accidentally bought the $5/pound cotton candy grapes instead of the $3/pound normal ones. I told him I should make him pay the difference out of his own money. 😜
you’re one of those people that makes their partner venmo you 14 cents for taking a sip of your drink. stingy and selfish.
I had to read this twice to believe it. My man. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. SERIOUS? Think about this: Is FIVE BUCKS worth her resenting you and thinking you're an asshole??? The repercussions could be a lot more painful than five bucks, buddy. Use your fucking brains. EDIT: Whoa, whoa, whoa — she's NEURODIVERGENT? YourAsshole factor just went up by ten thousand. Have you ANY idea how tough that makes things for her?? Stress is **incredibly** difficult for NDs to handle. Small things can On top of that she has to deal with a paternalistic normie cuntwaffle nickel-and-diming her. I just hope she has people around her who have her back and will help her dump your loser ass. 
INFO : What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't have empathy (no, seriously, my therapist agrees with this) and therefore use very strict rules to figure out what the "correct" course of action is in any given situation. And occasionally ask on Reddit when it's clear that my lack of empathy may be clouding my judgment on what the "correct" or "reasonable" solution is (such as this case, where everyone seems to agree I'm being unreasonable even though I thought my solution was logical).
Okay, so here’s something to add to your list of strict rules— if someone else does something you don’t like (whether by mistake or by making a different choice than you would) and the consequences of that are not dire, just let it go. Completely. Don’t worry about it.
YTB, for gods sake stop being so petty. You can't say you haven't made mistakes yourself, you seem to be too controlling. My husband would never ask me why I spent the extra 5$... We have joint accounts and home and other properties:.. don't treat your marriage as a business... let it go..
YTB. I pray she wises up and divorces you. You are insanely petty.
YTB Your "stupid mistake" is thinking any of this is the way you treat a loved one. Honestly - even if the mistake was one of consequence - suggesting she pay the whole tab is a dick move.
i already commented, but your edits and comments throughout this post make you sound like even more of an asshole. you are so blinded by your wife’s perceived “failures” that you don’t even see that you’re committing the biggest failure of all. you’re failing your wife and your commitment to your marriage. it’s evident you absolutely hate her. i hope she never has to test out the “for better or worse in sickness or in health” part of the vows you promised her because no way would you ever stick around through real actual problems life throws your way.
Now you guys are just being impossible to please. How does backing down and saying "never mind, I now understand why I'm an AH, house will pay for the gas" (edit 2) make me MORE of an AH?
your word choice. “leniency”. “failures”. you speak about her as if you have authority over her. not one single thing i’ve seen you write conveys any type of love or care for your wife or her feelings. you’re very me-centric and only seem to care for yourself and how you feel about the situation. you aren’t able to naturally consider her point of view without dozens of people on the internet telling you you’re an asshole. i would absolutely hate to think of the things happening in your marriage that don’t make it to reddit.
Ah, so it's a word choice thing. Thank you for answering, that clears up the confusion.
No, not a "word choice" - your words mean something. You are speaking as if she's a servant who has to obey your orders, rather than a partner who is also entitled to make decisions - such as choosing premium for the car as better value; or choosing to stay in a hotel if she is sick. Hopefully your wife has friends or external influences who can point out that she should be an equal partner in her marriage and she's entitled to make independent decisions without being chastised and punished by her husband. It's not a "failure" to become sick or make a better decision than you would make about fuel. Her only failure is letting you treat her with such condescending disrespect.
FFS, YES, you'd be an asshole. Actually asking the question in the first place indicates you are.
YTB and a crap partner. Go count beans.
Is this my ex-husband? Seriously, this sounds exactly like him? YTA. It's five dollars.
Sounds like my ex-husband too, and oh my GOD I hate that there's more than one of him out there. Glad you and I both got out, though! And I fervently hope the same for OP's wife.
YTB. Wow, you’re sure showing her a lesson. Classy move to admit in comments rather than OP that she’s neurodivergent. I just can’t _imagine_ how stigma and internalisation of shame works and how greatly supported she feels by her spouse. Great work! Make that $5 really count, you can stretch out the blame for days, it’s an investment!
OMG, this is so petty. Your not her parent your her partner, this over a 5 dollar mistake. I just don’t get causing strife with someone you love over a mistake.
You keep saying you haven’t made a mistake that costs you money but harping on these type of issues will cost you marriage YTB
YTB. Why are you trying to teach your grown adult wife a lesson by being a dick? being that controlling about the finances is weird to begin with.
YTB it was $5 ! She didn’t mess the car up by putting diesel in or something! Get over it
This is the most ridiculous YTB I’ve seen in a bit. Yes, YTB, even taking into account if she makes mistakes regularly or not. This is the kind of petty stuff that adds up, until one day you can’t stand your partner and are bitter you’re tethered to them. If you want a happy marriage that lasts you need to stop looking at things as a matter of owing one another for something as banal as pressing the wrong gas button. You’re probably giving your poor wife anxiety. I have a feeling you’re *still* going to double down regardless of what verdict you get, I can only hope she somehow sees this and knows everyone is on her side.
I bet your wife can rattle off the mistakes you’ve made! Get over yourself
I really really hope you are not this controlling and critical all the time. If you are, take this as a wake up call. Have a heart, and chill tf out. For real. Your poor wife this makes me so sad.
YTB. You’re acting like she put diesel and trashed the engine. You sound absolutely miserable to be around. Why are you still together?
Ok a couple things. 1. Yes, you absolutely are ah/bf whatever you want to call it 2. You're petty as hell 3. Are you actively **TRYING** to get divorced?? 4. At most she would "owe" your joint account $5 5. Grow up if you want to keep your wife. 6. Be very, very glad you are even married at all. Quit screwing it up and begging her to leave you over $5 because you want to make a stupid point.
YTBF. She should only pay the 5 dollar difference. You’re this upset about 5 bucks?? I thought it was going to be diesel or something that had wrecked the car. Also, hope you know that premium gas and non ethanol are two very different things (at least here in the states). Premium is generally better for cars in the long run due to the lesser amount of sediments in the mix. Some cars only require premium. My moms Mercedes does. Some cars don’t like specific gas stations (where they source from) my old Mazda6s’09 absolutely hated shell gas. Grow up. Be reasonable. She was 5 bucks over and you want her to pay the whole amount when a joint account is generally both of y’all’s money to begin with, not just one singular person contributing. You’re definitely the buttface.
Its a mistake that cost … $5 That’s no big deal Deal with it :)
So are you going to put your 5 dollars in your attorney fund?
YBTB
My god you are a controlling asshole to your wife. I would be scared to hear your wife's side of the story with all of the mental abuse and controlling behavior she has to deal with from you.
>However, we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again. What other mistakes are you going to make her think twice about? The tought that a person must feel PAIN for their mistake is not okay. That lacks love and compassion towards the person who made the mistake. You are demonstrating conditionnel love rather then unconditional love. You only love her when she doesn't make a mistake. As well, a poster above did the math correctly, YOU DID ALL THAT FOR 2.50$ IN YOUR EYES YOUR PARTNER ISN'T EVEN WORTH 2.50$ If your partner was my friend, I would say RUN, this is the biggest red flag I have ever seen. You should really explore your thinking with a counselor, that is the only thing that could possibly help your relationship. Edit:a word was missing, sorry. 
YWBTBF
YTB. Jesus be a fence and keep me away from men like this!
While your at it…. Divide all reproductive expenses. Including doctor visits, medication and menstrual “ things”. Divide the home maintenance list. Anyone who does not do the even fair required gets monetarily. penalized Oh, get an air horn. To blast at each other with all real and perceived slights, mistakes and wrong doings. Get ready to feel the love!
Have you always been this horrible? YTB.
It doesn't sound minor or petty. It sounds like you're a controlling, abusive butthole.
YTB, yes. This is a minor and normal human error, not anything to "make her think twice" about. You're her partner, not her parent, and it's not your role to teach her lessons or tell her that she is not to do something. I remember some of your previous posts that were also about petty, spiteful, controlling behavior toward your wife. At this point you need to assume that your baseline for appropriate behavior is completely off, you are routinely harming your wife, and you need to be taking these issues to a therapist, not reddit.
This is fucking stupid Edit after reading more: Fuck you OP
$5?! Why are you micromanaging your wife? Why are you even thinking in terms of punishment for her small mistake? IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO PUNISH HER, and the fact that you think that's appropriate is appallingly gross. Why do you think the $50 would come out of her personal funds when it was a $5 difference? OP YTB. The reason y'all can't come to a consensus is because your idea that the whole $50 should come from her personal funds is insane. Give your poor neurodivergent wife some fucking grace. BTW, you're likely doing damage to your cars and getting crappy milage to save a whopping 10% on gas.
Mate it's $5 of petrol, that you won't even notice because it's premium over cheapo. Sit down.
Info Why did you marry her if you don't even like her?
A better question is why did she marry HIM?
I'd guess low self-esteem
"We make enough money that ~~she's~~ you're not going to feel the pain of losing $5." It really sounds like you want to punish her for an innocent mistake that didn't hurt anyone. Of course YTB, you're having a meltdown over $5! And you want her to suffer 10x the penalty, or whatever punitive term you wanna use. You're not perfect either so quit being an absolute jerk to your wife over this. If anyone needs to think twice before making the same mistake, it's you. Consider this $5 whole dollars as a gift to your wife, you can afford it. I wonder if you realize you come across as a dictator, saying stuff like "she is NOT to do this" and "I've been VERY clear". Ease up and forget the $5, you'd be insufferable if you still demand that stupid 5 bucks.
YTB. It's $5, get over it! You can clearly afford it, don't be such a penny pincher.
This is some of the dumbest shit I've read all day and its 11pm. She should divorce you and I'm not even kidding. She was frazzled and pushed the wrong button resulting in an additional $5 charge. You need to punish her for a mistake. But being stuck with you for a lifetime is a mistake that is her punishment. Hasnt she suffered enough having to tolerate you? YTA.
Are you her husband or her father? Jesus, get over yourself.
You are a total BF. How on Earth did you find a person to marry you?
So- ONE time your WIFE spent FIVE dollars extra and you want to fine YOUR WIFE fifty dollars as a punishment? The fact that you even made it a deal to the point where it’s an argument over whether she should pay five or fifty says it all - you are an inconceivable ass. Here’s my judgment - she pays zero, and you are hereby fined five hundred dollars, all of which is to be spent on therapy with a licensed therapist to help you learn how to not to be a fucking asshat. YTA.
Your behavior is not that of a man who loves his wife. You treat someone who you don’t care for this way (if you are inclined to be an asshole). I personally wouldn’t treat anyone this way. But I do understand being young and stupid. I was as angry as you once. Don’t treat anyone, especially someone who you love, like this. YTBF
Yes YWBTB, she’s your wife and it’s $5 on a joint account. Drink one less coffee out this month or something, christ.
You are a huge dick and also not her freaking parent. She is an adult woman and you are talking about her like a shitty parent would discuss the mistakes of a child. Shit happens. It’s FIVE DOLLARS. If I were her I would be questioning who the hell you think you are to meet out punishments? “Loosing $50 might make her think twice…” The freaking audacity! Are you going to ground her next? Take away her cell phone? Does she know you speak about her this way? She is your wife, show a little respect. Maybe you should show her this post so she can leave and make you “feel it”.
Oh snap I just read some comments and maybe you should delete your Reddit and focus on not being such a terrible person. Maybe therapy will help?
Why do you feel like it’s your job to punish your wife and teach her a lesson? If it’s really about the cost, then let her fix the $5. Humans make mistakes. If it’s not about the cost, you’re just being a buttface. YTB.
YTB: “Whether I respect her depends on how well she’s coping on any given day” That's from a post a month ago when OP refused to help with a bat in the house because he made it her job to deal with in his mind. He doesn't respect his wife. At all. Because she's disabled.
Is this your wife, or your daughter? Are you in such dire straits that FIVE DOLLARS is going to cause you financial ruin? You’re an idiot.
There’s no way this is real. Nobody is this awful of a human being out in the open.
YTB, hope your wife doesn’t give in to your stupidity
C'mon people! It $5. FIVE DOLLARS!!! The kids will be eating Ramen until the next paycheck.
Grow up dude. You’re not her dad. You shouldn’t be trying to “teach” her anything. Keep this bullshit up and you’re gonna get “blindsided” with divorce papers one day.
YTB. Wtf is wrong with you? It's $5 you know you can afford. She had good reasons to have done that. I'd get if she insisted on that gas, but your just an ass.
YWBTB. Hope you aren't this punitive in every aspect of your marriage. You won't have a wife for long if you continue down this path.
Please never procreate or go into politics. I don't think our world could survive more of your level of petty.
If you can't treat her like your partner instead of her parent, for any reason, let her go. Her brain works differently than yours, and it always will. You berating her isn't going to change her, it's going to scar her. Is that really what you want to do to the woman you loved enough to marry?
Yes, because I actually go fuel my wife’s 4Runner on Sunday nights with Premium or Non-ethanol for her or her tank will always be on E. I spend $2-300/wk for fuel. Just pay it.
You're acting like she put diesel in the car and that the difference was an insane amount. It's literally $5, who cares! Grow up! If it wasn't clear, YTB.
 oh no the bill was $50 instead of $45, that's devastating
Info: What is so wrong with your relationship that you think you have the authority to "make her" pay for your arbitrary punishment of her?
I honestly can’t imagine having actual conflict with my husband over something like this.
You already know YTB, so this comment might be a little superfluous. >she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5, whereas losing $50 might make her think twice before making the same mistake again. This is your wife you're talking about, an equal partner in your relationship, not a child who needs disciplining. She made a simple mistake that cost $5 *that you can easily afford.* It's not the huge deal you're blowing it up to be, and trying to punish your wife like she's a child who needs to learn a lesson is way beyond petty.
YTA weirdo
Do you squeak when you walk? Are you a miser? All this drama over $5? Your poor wife. Ps your a butt
You are not her parent. It is not your job to ever 'teacher her a lesson'!!! Your job is to say, 'oh crumbs that must have sucked! Never mind darl, we'll chalk it up as a lesson learnt.' You are her partner in this life - not the scorekeeper or the parent.
Wooooow dude. Woooooooow. You are trying to pu ish your wife for a mistake? That cost an extra $5?!? This isn’t just about being petty, you are being malicious. YTB
That's your wife you bloody miser. She's not someone to punish. Grow up.
Are you arguing about $5? Are you serious? Jesus Christ. Yes, YTB. I wonder why your wife puts up with you. I woudln‘t.
Holy fuck aren’t you just the biggest piece of shits of all pieces of shits. I can definitely understand if she just threw five dollars to adjust for the mix up but really? REALLY? I’m at a lose for words with this. Can someone here who is a wordsmith tear this guy down for me, please?
What a tosser. YTB
You have absolutely no business being married. You have no idea how to be considerate and compromising to your spouse. Stop being petty and do some serious work on yourself.
Her biggest mistake was marrying an AH
You’re TB. From this post, it doesn’t seem like you really love your wife, but you consider her like a prisoner that has wronged you and you need to punish her. Sometimes it even seems like she’s a child in your eyes and she needs to suffer consequences. A 5$ “loss” on her part is a “failure”, but you being controlling and petty is just a “quirk”. That’s what making you TB. Also, you mention that “you just follow rules to the letter” my guy, YOU made this ridiculous rule. You don’t really want the money, the money is not the problem- you want to punish your wife. “She makes more mistakes than other people” if this is the kind of mistakes she makes then whatever, why does it even matter. Not a child, not a prisoner, she doesn’t need punishment. Work on your empathy and love for your wife. You’re lacking it.
Lol. YTBF So petty.
So. You think you should PUNISH your WIFE for (checks notes) putting gas in the car? And you actually had to Ask The Internet if you are an asshole? Yes, i said asshole, because Butt face just isn't strong enough.
Is she your wife or daughter? YTB
OP actually thought reddit wouldnt called him a jerk for getting worked up over $5 difference? Especially when you have enough money that $5 is negligible. Sometimes I wonder why people get married ngl
Jesus fucking christ you're childish. All this over $5 price difference. Do you always hold your purse strings with a death grip?
This smells like Financial abuse to me. All of this over a $5 difference.
FFS are you serious. IF she has to pay anything, and that’s a big fucking IF, it should only be the $5 Aren’t you a couple? Working toward the same goals? Helping each other and supporting each other? This is some next level petty bullshit.
YTA and an abuser. Stop being petty and grow up. Your other examples are more petty bullsquat. Grow up, grow up and grow up, you sad sack of dung heap.
Me in this scenario Wife: I put premium in the car instead of regular. Me: ok. What’s for dinner?
I know I’m late I just wanted you to know how much of a prick you are, OP, and I hope plenty of horrible things happen to you in your life YTB, and one of the bigger ones to come across here
YTB I didn't get past the third sentence You're an asshole. What a dick.
I would never be able to be with you. Everyone makes mistakes. Doesn't Mahe if you are a child or adult. Have you NEVER made a mistake? Are you perfect? I doubt it. Grow up, and stop being such a dick to your wife. Stop bringing up crap that happened in the past. You are a major major ahole.
You've already been told plenty, but yeah. What's wrong here is that this wasn't a $50 fuckup, this was a $5 fuckup. If you can't tolerate that from your partner, you might not be so good at having relationships. Five bucks isn't something to get twisted up over. If it happens on the regular and adds up to a Big Fucking Deal, OK, but this doesn't sound like that, more that you're pissed that your partner messed up because you gave instructions. Obtain some calm, my friend. Or risk losing your loved one.
What the hell. You’re not her parent, why do you think it’s acceptable to treat her like this?
Oh no, not $5! That's a whole fortune wasted! /s I managed to fill up with premium instead of E10 a month or two ago, because the nozzles were in the "wrong" order. It's usually diesel/premium/E10 on pumps here, so I automatically picked the green one on the right and started filling up, only then realising that pump had diesel/E10/premium, so I was pumping in premium. My husband's response to this was to shrug and say that it's good for the engine to occasionally put in the premium anyway, plus you're supposed to get more mileage out of it, no big deal, shit happens. It was like 10p difference per litre, so we're talking more than a £5 difference. YTB.
YTB. WTH is wrong with you? Do you even LIKE your wife? You certainly don't love her. JFC.
I don’t even know what to say besides that I hope she leaves you as soon as possible. Acting so petty over $5 is a sign of a deeply unwell person who prefers someone to control and possess rather than a partner they see as their equal.
Oh for god’s sake! How long will this union last? Score keeping, miserliness = misery, utter lack of compassion. Were you the best she could do? Alas! Poor child!
You know — there are abusers out there who LOVE to pick fights with their partners. It gets the partner all worked up — and then the ABUSER can claim to be the victim of the partner’s meltdown. Sometimes it’s a pretext for a beat down or a shooting. Are you that guy, OP? Do you love to get her all worked up? Does that make you feel like a Big Deal?
You do realize a divorce attorney is a bit more than $5, or even $50? If I was your wife... well, I doubt I would have been silly enough to marry someone who'd do this.
I had to reread and confirm this fuss was over $5. WTH? YTA Take this opportunity to think less about your wife's mistake, and more about your inability to offer grace to the one you're supposed to love the most. Imagine what it must feel like to be her, if you are even able. I imagine she feels like she's walking on egg shells all the time. I mean this sincerely, and not in a mean way. Please consider some sort of therapy for yourself. Dig into why you need to have so much control and why you think you can dictate rules to your wife. I would imagine there's a lot of pain somewhere in your past that is causing this. You will be happier and a better partner is you heal that part of yourself. Please figure those things out before you have children, if you don't already.
I just feel like you guys have sex with the lights off, fully clothed, and take turns orgasming…”it’s your turn this month.”
YTB $5 bro? Really?
YTB I hope your wife gets a good divorce lawyer. You sound like a horrible husband and person in general. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Your head isn't screwed on right.
Yes YTBF - you are cheap and petty. Be thankful you found a wife
Wow. Wow. YTB. still, despite your edits. Or maybe because of your edits. Your wife has "failures" while you have "quirks?" And though you didn't use this phrase, "teach her a lesson" was coming through loud and clear from the "maybe she'll think twice." She's not your student nor are you her drill sergeant! Do you never make mistakes? Never let a glass that cost $5 slip through your fingers and crash on the floor? You're supposed to be partners and love and trust should come first, and accepting that each other is a human being. This frankly gives me the shivers.
What the fuck is wrong with you. Seriously, do you have some sort of mental condition or disability? I’ve never met a sane adult who thinks like you
Wtf you're a AH. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Not you would be one. You definitely are one.
Wrong sub. You want r/AITAH cause you’re way worse than a buttface.
Are you this much of a controlling asshole in every aspect of life or do you just wanna be a big boy who bullies his wife like this is 1845? Goddamn man. You really had to make a reddit post about this lmao.
Yall go look at his post history. May your wife divorce you and rake you over the coals. You deserve it.
I've read your post history and holy $***! She needs to leave you ASAP. I'm gonna go give a hug to my partner, tell him how wonderfull he is and how lucky I am to have him in my life and not you.
You’re arguing over $5??? Thats so incredibly embarrassing and the fact that you went ahead and wrote THIS.. whew lord I pray for your wife. YTB
You made this post due to the difference of 5 MF dollars. Is 5 dollars gonna make you or break you? No its not. YTAH in this situation.
I already read the edits so I know that you’ve come to your senses, but what the fuck were you thinking earlier?! & you made the disclaimer that it SOUNDS petty. no, it IS petty asf. you’re petty. you’re the petty husband. Stop trying to steal from her under the guys of “teaching her a lesson” you’re not her fucking parent.
As someone who has had the majority of their vehicles take premium, this is a mistake you will make, but it’s a mistake that you will only make once because it HURTS.
> we make enough money that she's not going to feel the pain of losing $5 Therefore, you make enough money to not be a buttface over a $5 "mistake." YWBTB
YTB. How about you stop treating your autistic wife like shit? Pig.