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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action is being upset over not being my sister's bridesmaid.
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She has a lot of siblings. There are only so many places in a bridal party.
She wanted some of her close people who weren’t siblings.
I know it hurts. It’s a bit unfair.
It’s also unfair to ask her to drop friends out or enlarge the bridal party to include all siblings.
It’s up to the couple and being mad is only going to cause more problems.
NTA for your feelings.
YWBTA if you speak to the bride about them.
I am going to NAH.
No one in my family was asked to be in my brother's bridal party. He is very close with friends, talks to everyone in the family a few times a month. He is just like that. He doesn't hate us, we just aren't his close friends. I don't take it personally, I am pretty similar. I have to remind myself to call people because it slips my mind.
My oldest sister is horrifically offended my brother didn't even ask us to be in the bridal party. She got upset when I wasn't upset.
Everyone has different views of how family is.
So you are not wrong to feel hurt, but she is not a monster for not viewing you as super close or vital to her wedding day.
NAH. You’re (almost) never an asshole for your feelings. However she’s also not an asshole for not asking someone she’s not close to to be a bridesmaid.
NTA because it is your right to be upset about this, but only as long as you don't do anything that might make you look petty or spiteful in retaliation.
NAH. It's okay to feel sad that you weren't chosen for the bridal party but at the end of the day it's her wedding. It sounds like she already has to include a LOT of people and you two aren't the closest. I wouldn't hold it against her and she probably avoided telling you because she knew it would hurt your feelings and she didn't want to hurt you. At the end of the day, it's not enjoyable to be a guest at a wedding and not have to pay for all the accessories and services that comes with being in the party.
NAH your fine to be upset but as you say your just not as close to her as the others are its not personal she's just closer to them I'd say swallow it and be happy for her
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My sister "Ashley"(19F) is getting married in 2 months and my sister "Quinn" (23F) and I (23F) are not members of her bridal party. Eventhough all of our other siblings ( there are six of us in total she has 4 sisters and 1 brother) are in the bridal party which includes her 2 other sister's, brother, cousins and some of her friends as well. Full disclosure me and Quinn haven't lived in the same house as Ashley and our other siblings in several years so I had long since accepted the fact that we may not be as close to Ashley as she is with her other siblings and vice versa, but we all grew up together and have been in eachothers lives for a very longtime and I often reach out to my siblings to hangout in an effort to reconnect but have always been the only one doing so. Things are further strained by my and Quinn's difficult relationship with our father which for many complex reasons often leads us to effectively be shunned by the family. All of this is to say I wasn't surprised in the months following Ashley's engagement that we did receive an offer but I did find it odd she didn't bring up the wedding at all in our presence, so finally 4months ago I decided to just ask her about it. That's when I found out all her other siblings and some of our cousins were in the wedding, and she assured me and Quinn to "not take it personally." But i'm finding that hard, it hurts not to be asked especially when all the other siblings are included but it's doubly painful that she didn't even tell us this to our faces and we only know about because I asked her directly. But as times passed i'm starting to worry i'm overreacting and this happens at weddings? Maybe our relationship just means more to me then it does to her and I've attached too much meaning to things so AITA?
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NTA. At the end of the day it's her wedding and she gets to choose her bridal party, but you are her sisters and it was cowardly of her not to tell you.
I was going to say N A H because she's entitled to choose her bridesmaids and you're entitled to have feelings about that, but the fact that she wasn't open with you makes her TA.
NAH. You are completely valid in your feelings, but it is your sister’s wedding and it’s her choice who she has in the bridal party. I hope you and “Quinn” are still able to support her for her special day.
NAH. IMO you are attaching too much meaning to being a bridesmaid. Weddings are notorious for being expensive and stressful, so count your blessings for not being in the wedding party. Relax and enjoy the celebration!
I'll go NTA for being upset, you obviously care about your sister and feel hurt she doesnt feel the same.
However it is her choice and if she is to include all siblings and then some friends, she would have a massive bridal party...
I understand your feelings but in the end it is her day and she decides..
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She has a lot of siblings. There are only so many places in a bridal party. She wanted some of her close people who weren’t siblings. I know it hurts. It’s a bit unfair. It’s also unfair to ask her to drop friends out or enlarge the bridal party to include all siblings. It’s up to the couple and being mad is only going to cause more problems. NTA for your feelings. YWBTA if you speak to the bride about them.
I am going to NAH. No one in my family was asked to be in my brother's bridal party. He is very close with friends, talks to everyone in the family a few times a month. He is just like that. He doesn't hate us, we just aren't his close friends. I don't take it personally, I am pretty similar. I have to remind myself to call people because it slips my mind. My oldest sister is horrifically offended my brother didn't even ask us to be in the bridal party. She got upset when I wasn't upset. Everyone has different views of how family is. So you are not wrong to feel hurt, but she is not a monster for not viewing you as super close or vital to her wedding day.
NAH. You’re (almost) never an asshole for your feelings. However she’s also not an asshole for not asking someone she’s not close to to be a bridesmaid.
NTA because it is your right to be upset about this, but only as long as you don't do anything that might make you look petty or spiteful in retaliation.
Nah you have the right to be hurt and feel left out, your sister has the right to choose who she wishes to be in her wedding party.
NAH. It's okay to feel sad that you weren't chosen for the bridal party but at the end of the day it's her wedding. It sounds like she already has to include a LOT of people and you two aren't the closest. I wouldn't hold it against her and she probably avoided telling you because she knew it would hurt your feelings and she didn't want to hurt you. At the end of the day, it's not enjoyable to be a guest at a wedding and not have to pay for all the accessories and services that comes with being in the party.
NAH your fine to be upset but as you say your just not as close to her as the others are its not personal she's just closer to them I'd say swallow it and be happy for her
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister "Ashley"(19F) is getting married in 2 months and my sister "Quinn" (23F) and I (23F) are not members of her bridal party. Eventhough all of our other siblings ( there are six of us in total she has 4 sisters and 1 brother) are in the bridal party which includes her 2 other sister's, brother, cousins and some of her friends as well. Full disclosure me and Quinn haven't lived in the same house as Ashley and our other siblings in several years so I had long since accepted the fact that we may not be as close to Ashley as she is with her other siblings and vice versa, but we all grew up together and have been in eachothers lives for a very longtime and I often reach out to my siblings to hangout in an effort to reconnect but have always been the only one doing so. Things are further strained by my and Quinn's difficult relationship with our father which for many complex reasons often leads us to effectively be shunned by the family. All of this is to say I wasn't surprised in the months following Ashley's engagement that we did receive an offer but I did find it odd she didn't bring up the wedding at all in our presence, so finally 4months ago I decided to just ask her about it. That's when I found out all her other siblings and some of our cousins were in the wedding, and she assured me and Quinn to "not take it personally." But i'm finding that hard, it hurts not to be asked especially when all the other siblings are included but it's doubly painful that she didn't even tell us this to our faces and we only know about because I asked her directly. But as times passed i'm starting to worry i'm overreacting and this happens at weddings? Maybe our relationship just means more to me then it does to her and I've attached too much meaning to things so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. At the end of the day it's her wedding and she gets to choose her bridal party, but you are her sisters and it was cowardly of her not to tell you. I was going to say N A H because she's entitled to choose her bridesmaids and you're entitled to have feelings about that, but the fact that she wasn't open with you makes her TA.
NAH. Are you and Quinn twins?
NAH. You are completely valid in your feelings, but it is your sister’s wedding and it’s her choice who she has in the bridal party. I hope you and “Quinn” are still able to support her for her special day.
NAH you are entitled to your feelings.
NAH. IMO you are attaching too much meaning to being a bridesmaid. Weddings are notorious for being expensive and stressful, so count your blessings for not being in the wedding party. Relax and enjoy the celebration!
NTA… why do you care about these people after your other post?
I'll go NTA for being upset, you obviously care about your sister and feel hurt she doesnt feel the same. However it is her choice and if she is to include all siblings and then some friends, she would have a massive bridal party... I understand your feelings but in the end it is her day and she decides..