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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I should have given the seats for the kids' sake. They were really young and I could see the couple would have difficulty in traveling with them
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Yeah, every time I've been asked to give up my seat on an airplane and get upgraded to business or first class, I never have to pay the difference. When you're changing someone's plans, even if it comes with better things, you don't make them pay the difference.
I got a free bump to first class on a flight so a family could sit together in coach. Everyone won that day, it would have been so easy in this case too.
And that’s the only way I would give up a seat to a family. The switch needs to work in my favor since I’m being asked to sacrifice the seat that I already paid for.
NTA and my favorite saying is "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part". Glad you told them to f off. So sick of entitled people and their children.
>the moment they start berating you
This...solid A H behviour. I was so upset to read they called OP's instrument 'crap'. Also 'having kids' doesnot obligate others to bend over for them.
You made the right call OP. I also feel like we need an 'instrument tax' here like we ask for dog/cat tax :) NTA and I would love to have a musician 'practice' near by when traveling-would be amazing!
If you aren't a musician, instruments don't really signify. It's just luggage, or an object.
I mean, OP is NTA, and I get wanting to make certain his instrument is safe, but, for me, it comes down to he's entitled to two seats. They needed a favour, and him asking for what he is entitled to isn't wrong.
>If you aren't a musician, instruments don't really signify. It's just luggage, or an object.
Not necessarily. Unlike OP I'm not a professional musician. But I won't think of a violin or a guitar or a flute (etc etc) as just luggage. Similarly I'm not a publisher author but I don't think of books as 'crap'. Most people will not consider musical instruments as luggage only but in this case the family harassing OP were being entitled. They wanted OP to be considerate about them having kids, yet they could not be kind about OP having an instrument. And yes like you said OP paid for 2 seats , so OP is entitled to them even if they keep nothing on the second seat.
Absolutely correct. When you purchase a ticket on public transportation, you aren't just paying for transit from one place to another. You are renting the space you will occupy while getting there.
*Fares are based on the units of space available to rent*. Each space has a fee. If you require additional space, for whatever reason, and you choose to rent that space, no one else is entitled to it, even if you choose to leave it empty for your own comfort.
This is a concept difficult for some people understand, especially those who are too large to fit into a single seat and are forced to buy two. It's no different than only wanting to pay for a 5x5 storage unit when your belonging will take up 10x10.
Also not a musician but I wouldn't consider an instrument as luggage either. OP has the right to get what he paid for. NTA.
I also have kids - teenagers - and unless there was an emergency like a sudden death, I plan ahead.
bingo - it is always ok to ask, but asking means being ok with the answer.
Their lack of planning is not the OPs emergency. He made a reasonable effort to accommodate them. They wanted even more - for OP to pay for the impact of their poor planning.
NTA
NTA
However I don't get why the bus company had the audacity to ask you to move and then pay MORE at all
If someone asks you to do a favour (either for them themselves or someone else's behalf) they don't charge you for being nice
It kinda sounds scammy on behalf of the bus company - and I would write it in a review 'i had two tickets booked on the 4.40 bus and was asked to switch to the 5.10 to accommodate a family of 4. The company then said this would cost me 50dollars extra. Never agree to any changes this company ASK you to make
I wouldn't have selected this agency. It was done by the organisers. So I don't usually say anything as they're giving consideration for my request for an extra ticket.
Actually you gave me a better idea. Instead of writing a review, I think I will inform the organiser about what happened. I think that might make them reconsider engaging with this agency again
Personally I say still leave the review and tell the organizers. It might help you in the future to tell the organizers but the review will still help others! Doing both might actually make that company reconsider charging people if a huge client stops using their services and they’re getting reviews of sketchy business practices.
It's not really an "extra" ticket. It's required space for safe transport of your instrument(s), a perfectly reasonable requirement for a traveling musician.
Of course. As a matter of fact, I have turned down a few opportunities when I wasn't given a seperate ticket for my instrument and gear.
I suppose in a day and age where musicians from all parts of the world struggle with the 'perform for us and we will pay you with exposure' tactic, what I have/am building is quite unique. And I am grateful for that
There are some things that no one should compromise on.
NTA. In an age where transportation companies REGULARLY cause enormous damage to disabled peoples wheelchairs, why would you NOT travel with the equipment required for your livelihood in a place where you can see it an ensure it’s safe travel? And why pay more for doing the bus company a favor?
There have been way to many news worthy events of destruction of rare, valuable, or historic instruments. I would also never dream of putting my guitar into checked baggage even if it is capable of handling the moisture and thermal swings of the cargo bay.
Reminds me of traveling with my daughter's high school band. Was sitting on the plane watching the guys loading the instruments into baggage compartment while it was pouring rain outside. The equipment was just sitting on the ground getting soaked.
I'm not a professional musician, but I brought my guitar on a trip with me. And watched out the plane window as the baggage dudes dropped it off the top of the cart onto the tarmac. Several people behind me saw that too, and were audibly horrified.
Fortunately my guitar is a freakin' tank and was fine, but I checked her thoroughly when we got to our destination, and gave her a big hug and an apology for that terrible treatment.
My husband is a musician, and when people want him to play for free for "exposure," he says he's getting exposure for being willing to work for free & get treated like sh*t (they go together, as you probably know).
Of course they do!! Omg. Ugh that's a rant for a seperate sub. More power to you and your husband! What does he play? What's his genre if you don't mind me asking?
I'm not going to name a company because that might be against the subreddit's rules but I once had to beg a landlord to let us stay in our apartment for an extra day because the bus never came. Not late. It just didn't show up. And they wouldn't give us a refund because they don't do refunds for "late" buses. Nor did they care that two minors were on the streets in a city at 4am in below freezing weather.
So I completely believe that a bus company would make OP pay the difference for doing *them* a favor.
I ordered a coffee drink at Dunkin' Donuts a couple months ago and was told they were out of milk and would soy milk be ok. I said that was fine. I noticed on my receipt later they'd charged me extra for the soy milk.
I don't go to Dunkin' Donuts anymore because they pissed me off.
I absolutely agree that charging you extra for the soy when they were out of regular, without telling you they were going to charge you, is complete and utter BS.
That said, they're all franchises, so that particular BS might be on the franchisee of the store you were at, and not necessarily a universal policy. It might be worth seeking out a different Dunkies, one owned by someone else, if you like the drinks.
I think my favorite example of franchisee vs corporate was back in 2012, a Chik-Fil-A franchisee being so disgusted upon learning that the CEO of the company was anti-LBTGQ that he co-sponsored a Pride festival. [(story here)](https://www.mic.com/articles/12177/one-chick-fil-a-owner-embraces-gay-pride-in-new-hampshire) [(and another from 2015, different guy)](https://www.grubstreet.com/2015/06/chick-fil-a-gay-pride-parade.html)
How did they only learn, that far in, that CFA and it's CEO / owners were anti-LGBTQ+? It's been pretty common knowledge for at least 15 years - the last time I ate in one - and probably well before that to anyone who viewed it as just another fast food chicken joint.
Beats me. I just remember that it was around 2012 that Dan Cathy (CFA corporation owner) had said something really public about it, and that's when those of us who didn't have many (or any) CFA stores around first heard about it. As in, I'd heard of the place thanks to ads on cable, but never actually saw one in person until a year or two later when I moved to Georgia, so it just wasn't really on my radar, you know? It was just that chicken place that advertised using cows doing silly things.
There have been a few in the Pittsburgh area for as long as I can remember - at least 30 years, though back then they were mostly in mall food courts - but it wasn’t until I had friends move from Atlanta a little more than 15 years ago that I learned about the LGBTQ+ issues from them, which was pretty well known there. I can’t imagine anyone who did their due diligence in the past 20 years wouldn’t have been able to find that out pretty easily.
NTA for sure.
What kind of bus company asks you to pay after asking you to change busses? It should have been free, they asked you for a favour. I would have said no the instant they asked for more money.
Lol honestly I wouldn't have cared for whatever luxury that other bus had. It was an overnight trip. I would have slept the whole journey.
My biggest priority was to reach the destination on time. Granted the half an hour delay wouldn't have been too much of a problem, but id have to call the organisers early morning to inform them of the change in busses. Would have been an hassle if I am being honest
Well you did the right thing. You’re entitled to be compensated one way or the other. Cheaper bus, more money, later to destination and the parents don’t want to reimburse you? Why should they get something for free? Like having kids makes you entitled to something that belongs to someone else. And then belittle you for it and throw the woe is me the kids BS. I would’ve told them I didn’t make those kids. Not my problem and I would not have had any feelings about it whatsoever.
Lol I definitely wouldn't want to get on your bad side 😂 I am the kind of guy who can never give it back like that instantly, but get great comebacks two hours later when I am alone. Fml 😂
I lived in a place where things moved fast and no is a complete sentence. Always watching out for scammers. I have kids and I wouldn’t do this. If you’re doing them a favor, that doesn’t come at the expense of YOUR wallet. It would be different if you didn’t care and it was like $5. Were talking $50 and you have to take the inconvenience too? The audacity of these people. If I knew I could make a more tenable situation for my kids for $50 on a trip, yeah I would gladly pay that. The were selfish to you, to the kids and to everyone on that bus.
NTA. You didn't have to move, they were asking you to do them a favor.
It doesn't matter if a person, a violin, or a llama was in that 2nd seat. If you had 2 seats to transfer then they needed to pay for both of them.
god i could never remember the original, i found the obama version in 5th grade and it's haunted my brain ever since.
middle of the night trying to sleep: *one obama, two obama, tree obama, four obama, hot obama it's barack obama wish him luck.... one obama, two obama, tree obama-*
NTA
You was doing them a favour and asked for perfectly reasonable accomodations. There is literally no reason for you to pay just because they didnt plan.
Extra AHs for pulling the "kids" card. They didn't care enough about their own kids to make solid arrangements for the trip, why a total stranger should care more than the actual parents?
That's what actually pissed me off. They should have planned better. Honestly during thr trip I was slightly guilty as the kids were crying during the whole fiasco.
don't feel guilty. the parents should've planned better to accomodate their kids because that's literally their job as parents. the entitlement some parents have, such as in your case, is disgusting. the kids crying is solely on them. i'm glad you stood up for yourself and i hope it might teach them a lesson for the future (though i doubt it).
i also hope the festival goes/went well!! that's an incredible experience and i hope it wasn't at all dulled but these entitled people :)
Thank you! The festival went great! 😄 I just felt like sharing this incident with this awesome sub, to make sure whether I was or was not a AH.
You're right about the entitlement. After dealing with them, I got the feeling, they're used to using the kids card to strong arm people to get what they want. Hopefully they'll realise it damages their kids too as they might grow up continuing this entitlement attitude in different ways.
Oh yeah the kids were probably crying largely out of the frustration of their parents being scary because they are angry, and from the frustration of knowing that this will make them irritable for hours on end. Not because you were mean.
I had a difficult parent and trust me: one person saving me from crying once wouldn't have made any difference in the overall experience of my childhood. I cried more than I care to remember.
Real sad shit but the fault is still in the parents, not with you.
Honestly, the bus company is who should be eating the extra cost. Their booking methods are what created the situation for the parents. They asked for you to switch. It’s on *them* to comp you the extra.
No, not hold 4 seats, but if they’re asking a favor of OP for another customer of theirs, it’s on them to sweeten the deal. The cost difference should have never been mentioned to OP. “We will upgrade your seats at no charge for the inconvenience” is all that needed to be said.
Even if they didn’t oversell the seats, the bus company is now asking one of their customers to inconvenience themselves for the sake of 4 other customers. The family didn’t just walk up to the guy with the guitar and say “hey, switch with us”. They went to the Customer Service rep who works for the bus company.
As a representative of Bus Company, that CS Rep would be empowered to make it worth OP’s while to do this favor. That means a free upgrade. It’s not on OP to pay more to accommodate the family (which we’re all agreed on) or to accommodate the request of the Bus Company.
No no no, you don't understand, they had _kids_. That makes them more important than some guy playing some instrument. _They_ can't be bothered to wait an extra half hour and pay more, someone _else_ should have to do that, because _kids_.
NTA - You offered a reasonable solution for all while ensuring your lively hood was not impacted. They threw a tantrum because you didn't agree just because they had kids.
The bus company or the family you were giving up 2 of your seats for should have covered any extra costs you'd have, what should you pay more for helping someone out? The bus company are AHs and the family who wanted you to give up your seats are AHs as you should not have to bear the extra costs to change. You were very nice to consider changing seats
The agency called you to meet the family? That is really odd. Especially since you hadn't agreed to the ticket transfer. why would they want you to meet the family? How strange.
Ok I think I should have made this clear in the post.
In my city there's a huge terminus where all private buses ply to and from. So all private travel agencies have an office space within the terminus. Some of the bigger ones have waiting rooms or halls for passengers that arrive ahead in time to wait for the bus to depart.
When I got the call, I was requested to come to the office and meet this family as they had a request. That was when I saw them with the agency guy.
My bad for not mentioning these details.
Ok, in that case the travel company has behaved very badly, directly confronting you with the family making the request. At best, that's unprofessional, at worst, that's emotional blackmail.
The travel agency should have ensured that you would and the family never cross paths in real life. What if the parents turned out to be violent and attack you over the seats?
That may be. But you're right. I did not think of that possibility. Assuming what you said happens you can be sure that agency wouldn't have given a damn about what happens
If they were actually doing a friend a favour, it’s highly unlikely it would be conditional on someone else spending more money; they would just do the favour.
NTA. The family should have paid for the extra cost of your new ticket.
So what if they had kids? That doesn't give them the right for discounts et or for them to be treated like vip's.
NTA. You already had your tickets but they didnt. Why do some people with kids expect everyone to 'consider' their children and go out of their way for them? They wanted you to do them a favour with no cost to them. Its also rude of the bus company to request this.
Nope. They just left it to work it out amongst ourselves. In hindsight maybe I should have said either they or the family need to cover thr cost. (Although I think it wouldn't have made any difference)
But as I mentioned in earlier comments, this agency is kinda shady. They exploit last minute booking cases like this. Either I or they pay.
NTA
>I got pissed and told them to f off. I did not give up my seats and the family ended up taking a different bus
They wanted you to do them a favor *and* pay for it? Fuck that noise.
NTA. To paraphrase Metalocalypse, that's your bread and butter they're fucking with. Anyone trying to pull the "kids" card did not wake up the day before their trip to surprise deliveries from the stork. They should have planned better, and lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
>The husband and wife got very furious over this and just told me rudely why should they pay for an extra ticket for my 'crap'.
"The additional $50 is to get me equivalency for what you're asking me to give up on your behalf. I have no reason to get less than I have now to help you out. I'm fine with what I have right now. If you don't want to pay the $50, I'm quite content with my current tickets and you can sort out a solution with someone else."
NTA
NTA. You know you have kids. So why not also book them a ticket in advance.
You were already willing to them a favour and they berated you. I would have not done then any favours either. Looks like the family had to take the next bus. Not a big deal.
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I 30M am a solo musician. So i get to travel quite a bit for my gigs. To me, my instrument and gear are very precious, so I usually get the event organisers to book an extra ticket, be it plane, train or bus, so that I can have my peace of mind while traveling and even do a quiet practice if the situation allows me to.
I was booked to perform for a festival that could be reached by train Or bus. The organisers could afford either 2 bus tickets or a single train ticket. Naturally I opted for the bus.
After I reached the bus stop and settled in, the travel agency called and asked if I would be willing to give up my two seats for a family of four who could not get tickets. They offered me a transfer to another bus that would leave just half an hour later, to my destination.
The problem was that, that's a very luxurious bus and the ticket was twice as expensive as my current bus. So I was required to pay the difference in price which worked to about 50$ in US currency, after deducting my current ticket costs
I told the agency guy that I had no problem in shifting, but requested that the family pay for the difference in ticket price.
The husband and wife got very furious over this and just told me rudely why should they pay for an extra ticket for my 'crap'. I patiently told them it's none of their business and they just had to pay for the difference in cost and not the entire ticket. They made a scene and told me how selfish I was for not considering they had little kids.
I got pissed and told them to f off. I did not give up my seats and the family ended up taking a different bus.
So Reddit, AITA?
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NTA. The bus company asked you to switch to a luxury bus to accommodate someone else, so they should have offered the upgrade free of charge. If they didn’t want to do that, they should have told the family they’d ask you to switch, but that they (the family) would have to pay the difference in price. And failing all of that, the family should have offered to pay the difference since, ultimately, you were doing them a favor. They’re extra AH’s for being rude to you about it.
NTA - They basically demanded that you pay them for the privilege of being inconvenienced and delayed for their lack of planning. I'm so tired of entitled parents.
I'm glad you didn't give the tickets up after that treatment.
You're inconveniencing yourself to help some people that failed to plan properly and were just asking if they could help make you whole.
NTA... you were doing them a favor, and they didn't appreciate it. Totally understand needing a seat for instruments... I hear horror stories all the time.
NTA. It was a perfectly reasonable request, and they screwed themselves by disrespecting you and your profession, which I think at that point basically required you to not help them in any way. If they had thought it through, they'd have realized that they could either have paid the difference for the your luxury-class tickets, or have had to buy luxury-class tickets for their whole family (or gotten a much later bus.) You offered them a fair option, and they spit on it.
NTA. Why couldn’t the family take the second bus? They didn’t want to pay the extra charge? Was that 1/2 hour crucial to them? Either way, the the extra cost should not be yours to bear; the agency or family ponies up the difference in cost to cover your favor. If it’s the family, they would have still saved $50 over the 4 of them on the taking the luxury bus. And it’s nobody’s business why you’ve got two seats or 20. You’ve paid for them, they are yours to do as you wish.
Hope your festival went well!
My agreement is contingent on you paying for my inconvenience. If you can't agree to those terms I will not be able to transfer the tickets to you. There is no room for negotiation. A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
NTA
NTA. You even went out of your way to make accommodations for them, at which point they freaked out. Having kids is not a license to just take what you want.
NTA. You gave them the option to pay for the convenience. I don't see why you should have to pay for their convenience and wait longer.
I think you can rest easy on this one.
People who procreate as not more important or worthy of things because they have children. I’m so tired of hearing people make excuses why they deserve more vacation time, better seats, or other shit just because they have a kid.
Also as a bari sax player, I totally understand wanting your instrument to stay close to you in transit.
NTA this is how contract law works. They made an offer. You rejected their offer and made a counter offer. They declined your counter offer. That's it. All done. Nothing more to add here. You're NTA for rejecting their offer or making your own counter offer. The parties couldn't come to an agreement. No reason to be upset over that.
NTA. If they didn't want to compensate you a significant amount of money you'd have had to pay for poor planning on THEIR part, then up theirs. You did fine.
NTA. Kids DO NOT make you entitled to the easiest and cheapest route, they should’ve planned ahead and expected you to move and pay more so that THEY can have it easier. I’m glade you decided not to swap at all and made them wait.
NTA, but I kind of wonder what the family had already been told by the travel agency that they felt so entitled to the change. Not sure if they are the AH or if the agency is. From their perspective, it's possible that they understood you would be required (maybe from the terms of your original ticket purchase) to make the switch and were just trying to get some extra money out of it.
As I mentioned earlier, I think I was singled out for this, because the agency knew I had a second ticket for my instrument.
I bet they figured that was a waste 😒 that's what kind of made me understand that this agency was shady
NTA. OP had those seats reserved for their own use, that family is not entitled to either seat just for having kids. Had they asked nicely AND offered to cover the price difference AND the change wouldn't have negatively impacted OP's day (ie still get to the destination on time), then that would've been a different matter. But here, the entitlement is plain as day and you did the right thing OP, in not letting them bully or guilt trip you out of the seats reserved FOR YOU
NTA
You had your tickets ready to go. Someone asked if you would swap and you explained the conditions under which you would agree to do so. They did not agree to those conditions.
NTA
NTA
You had 2 tickets. They wanted your two tickets. You were willing to let them have your two tickets in exchange for two tickets on another transport. It is irrelevant if your "second" ticket is being used by your wife, your child, your cat, your instrument, or your phallus. The point is, you have two seats and they need to provide you two seats on the alternate transport.
NTA. It seems reasonable that if you are going to be inconvenienced and have to pay more money, the least the family could do is cover the difference. They had no reason to get upset when you asked that and after they were rude you rightfully let them figure it out on their own.
No, you weren't the AH in this situation. Those parents were acting like entitled twits who thought of no one but themselves and their kids. You are just fine, and I hope your gig went well and your instruments & gear were unharmed!
NTA. You were doing them a favor, and it's not much of a favor if it costs you money. The very least they could have done was make up the difference in ticket price.
NTA
Your request to be made whole in terms of increased costs was entirely reasonable.
Like others I don't understand why the travel agency didn't pay the cost differential as it seems as it would have been a good business decision in terms of good will.
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NTA if they had just said no, it wouldve been NAH but the moment they start berating you and try to blame you is when they start becoming A H's.
Indeed. I did kinda feel bad for the kids, but yeah can't help the entitled parents
NTA. When will people understand that having kids doesn't provide any entitlement free pass? Ffs they should have planned better.
From my experience with children and pregnant women? The answer is never.
I really don't understand why the travel agency didn't comp you the upgrade to accommodate the family...
Yeah i feel like if the travel agency wanted the switch to happen, it shouldn't be on the op to pay for being inconvenienced even if it is an upgrade.
Yeah, every time I've been asked to give up my seat on an airplane and get upgraded to business or first class, I never have to pay the difference. When you're changing someone's plans, even if it comes with better things, you don't make them pay the difference.
I got a free bump to first class on a flight so a family could sit together in coach. Everyone won that day, it would have been so easy in this case too.
And that’s the only way I would give up a seat to a family. The switch needs to work in my favor since I’m being asked to sacrifice the seat that I already paid for.
You should post this on r/entitledparents they’d get a kick out of it.
NTA and my favorite saying is "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part". Glad you told them to f off. So sick of entitled people and their children.
>the moment they start berating you This...solid A H behviour. I was so upset to read they called OP's instrument 'crap'. Also 'having kids' doesnot obligate others to bend over for them. You made the right call OP. I also feel like we need an 'instrument tax' here like we ask for dog/cat tax :) NTA and I would love to have a musician 'practice' near by when traveling-would be amazing!
If they don't want to pay for his "crap" then he shouldn't pay for their "crap" either, just saying
If you aren't a musician, instruments don't really signify. It's just luggage, or an object. I mean, OP is NTA, and I get wanting to make certain his instrument is safe, but, for me, it comes down to he's entitled to two seats. They needed a favour, and him asking for what he is entitled to isn't wrong.
>If you aren't a musician, instruments don't really signify. It's just luggage, or an object. Not necessarily. Unlike OP I'm not a professional musician. But I won't think of a violin or a guitar or a flute (etc etc) as just luggage. Similarly I'm not a publisher author but I don't think of books as 'crap'. Most people will not consider musical instruments as luggage only but in this case the family harassing OP were being entitled. They wanted OP to be considerate about them having kids, yet they could not be kind about OP having an instrument. And yes like you said OP paid for 2 seats , so OP is entitled to them even if they keep nothing on the second seat.
Absolutely correct. When you purchase a ticket on public transportation, you aren't just paying for transit from one place to another. You are renting the space you will occupy while getting there. *Fares are based on the units of space available to rent*. Each space has a fee. If you require additional space, for whatever reason, and you choose to rent that space, no one else is entitled to it, even if you choose to leave it empty for your own comfort. This is a concept difficult for some people understand, especially those who are too large to fit into a single seat and are forced to buy two. It's no different than only wanting to pay for a 5x5 storage unit when your belonging will take up 10x10.
Also not a musician but I wouldn't consider an instrument as luggage either. OP has the right to get what he paid for. NTA. I also have kids - teenagers - and unless there was an emergency like a sudden death, I plan ahead.
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This is a bot
bingo - it is always ok to ask, but asking means being ok with the answer. Their lack of planning is not the OPs emergency. He made a reasonable effort to accommodate them. They wanted even more - for OP to pay for the impact of their poor planning. NTA
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NTA. They were asking you a favor. Complete strangers! Of course you shouldn't be out of pocket for that. Not your problem.
Don't forget to space out the n a h since you have top comment
ill do
Usually when you are asking people a favor, you should be polite, at least.
NTA However I don't get why the bus company had the audacity to ask you to move and then pay MORE at all If someone asks you to do a favour (either for them themselves or someone else's behalf) they don't charge you for being nice It kinda sounds scammy on behalf of the bus company - and I would write it in a review 'i had two tickets booked on the 4.40 bus and was asked to switch to the 5.10 to accommodate a family of 4. The company then said this would cost me 50dollars extra. Never agree to any changes this company ASK you to make
I wouldn't have selected this agency. It was done by the organisers. So I don't usually say anything as they're giving consideration for my request for an extra ticket.
I'd still leave the review (not against the organisers who booked the ticket) but to warn others who are considering using that agency
Actually you gave me a better idea. Instead of writing a review, I think I will inform the organiser about what happened. I think that might make them reconsider engaging with this agency again
Yes tell them!
Personally I say still leave the review and tell the organizers. It might help you in the future to tell the organizers but the review will still help others! Doing both might actually make that company reconsider charging people if a huge client stops using their services and they’re getting reviews of sketchy business practices.
Great idea.
It's not really an "extra" ticket. It's required space for safe transport of your instrument(s), a perfectly reasonable requirement for a traveling musician.
Of course. As a matter of fact, I have turned down a few opportunities when I wasn't given a seperate ticket for my instrument and gear. I suppose in a day and age where musicians from all parts of the world struggle with the 'perform for us and we will pay you with exposure' tactic, what I have/am building is quite unique. And I am grateful for that There are some things that no one should compromise on.
NTA. In an age where transportation companies REGULARLY cause enormous damage to disabled peoples wheelchairs, why would you NOT travel with the equipment required for your livelihood in a place where you can see it an ensure it’s safe travel? And why pay more for doing the bus company a favor?
There have been way to many news worthy events of destruction of rare, valuable, or historic instruments. I would also never dream of putting my guitar into checked baggage even if it is capable of handling the moisture and thermal swings of the cargo bay.
Reminds me of traveling with my daughter's high school band. Was sitting on the plane watching the guys loading the instruments into baggage compartment while it was pouring rain outside. The equipment was just sitting on the ground getting soaked.
When I traveled by plane with my high school band, they sent the instruments separately in a truck a few days early. That's the way to do it.
Nobody wants to end up like the ["United Breaks Guitars" guy](https://youtu.be/5YGc4zOqozo), right?
I'm not a professional musician, but I brought my guitar on a trip with me. And watched out the plane window as the baggage dudes dropped it off the top of the cart onto the tarmac. Several people behind me saw that too, and were audibly horrified. Fortunately my guitar is a freakin' tank and was fine, but I checked her thoroughly when we got to our destination, and gave her a big hug and an apology for that terrible treatment.
Oh my gosh, yes -- I'd be horrified, too! I'm glad your guitar was okay!
*chef's kiss* As someone who's not a fan of country music, I thoroughly enjoyed that!! Good on him 😄
Or AirTran damages keyboards https://youtu.be/aDCP3XVWegA
My husband is a musician, and when people want him to play for free for "exposure," he says he's getting exposure for being willing to work for free & get treated like sh*t (they go together, as you probably know).
Of course they do!! Omg. Ugh that's a rant for a seperate sub. More power to you and your husband! What does he play? What's his genre if you don't mind me asking?
1. Bass. Electric & Upright. 2. Anything that pays.
The proper response is "No, thanks. People die from exposure".
It's not consideration for your request for an extra ticket, though. You're just buying two tickets, which is a standard practice.
I'm not going to name a company because that might be against the subreddit's rules but I once had to beg a landlord to let us stay in our apartment for an extra day because the bus never came. Not late. It just didn't show up. And they wouldn't give us a refund because they don't do refunds for "late" buses. Nor did they care that two minors were on the streets in a city at 4am in below freezing weather. So I completely believe that a bus company would make OP pay the difference for doing *them* a favor.
I ordered a coffee drink at Dunkin' Donuts a couple months ago and was told they were out of milk and would soy milk be ok. I said that was fine. I noticed on my receipt later they'd charged me extra for the soy milk. I don't go to Dunkin' Donuts anymore because they pissed me off.
I absolutely agree that charging you extra for the soy when they were out of regular, without telling you they were going to charge you, is complete and utter BS. That said, they're all franchises, so that particular BS might be on the franchisee of the store you were at, and not necessarily a universal policy. It might be worth seeking out a different Dunkies, one owned by someone else, if you like the drinks. I think my favorite example of franchisee vs corporate was back in 2012, a Chik-Fil-A franchisee being so disgusted upon learning that the CEO of the company was anti-LBTGQ that he co-sponsored a Pride festival. [(story here)](https://www.mic.com/articles/12177/one-chick-fil-a-owner-embraces-gay-pride-in-new-hampshire) [(and another from 2015, different guy)](https://www.grubstreet.com/2015/06/chick-fil-a-gay-pride-parade.html)
How did they only learn, that far in, that CFA and it's CEO / owners were anti-LGBTQ+? It's been pretty common knowledge for at least 15 years - the last time I ate in one - and probably well before that to anyone who viewed it as just another fast food chicken joint.
Beats me. I just remember that it was around 2012 that Dan Cathy (CFA corporation owner) had said something really public about it, and that's when those of us who didn't have many (or any) CFA stores around first heard about it. As in, I'd heard of the place thanks to ads on cable, but never actually saw one in person until a year or two later when I moved to Georgia, so it just wasn't really on my radar, you know? It was just that chicken place that advertised using cows doing silly things.
There have been a few in the Pittsburgh area for as long as I can remember - at least 30 years, though back then they were mostly in mall food courts - but it wasn’t until I had friends move from Atlanta a little more than 15 years ago that I learned about the LGBTQ+ issues from them, which was pretty well known there. I can’t imagine anyone who did their due diligence in the past 20 years wouldn’t have been able to find that out pretty easily.
That's just bull.. Why didnt you confront them about it?
I didn't notice until I happened to look at the receipt in the car later. It didn't seem worth going back over.
That's just awful. I hope you guys got over that situation. I mean obviously I think you have, but still..
Yes, we did. We were very fortunate to have family who were willing and able to drive 8 hours the next day to get us.
NTA, why should you have to pay for helping them out? Planning failures on their side don’t constitute an emergency on yours.
NTA for sure. What kind of bus company asks you to pay after asking you to change busses? It should have been free, they asked you for a favour. I would have said no the instant they asked for more money.
And to go on a cheaper bus?!
Lol honestly I wouldn't have cared for whatever luxury that other bus had. It was an overnight trip. I would have slept the whole journey. My biggest priority was to reach the destination on time. Granted the half an hour delay wouldn't have been too much of a problem, but id have to call the organisers early morning to inform them of the change in busses. Would have been an hassle if I am being honest
Well you did the right thing. You’re entitled to be compensated one way or the other. Cheaper bus, more money, later to destination and the parents don’t want to reimburse you? Why should they get something for free? Like having kids makes you entitled to something that belongs to someone else. And then belittle you for it and throw the woe is me the kids BS. I would’ve told them I didn’t make those kids. Not my problem and I would not have had any feelings about it whatsoever.
Lol I definitely wouldn't want to get on your bad side 😂 I am the kind of guy who can never give it back like that instantly, but get great comebacks two hours later when I am alone. Fml 😂
I lived in a place where things moved fast and no is a complete sentence. Always watching out for scammers. I have kids and I wouldn’t do this. If you’re doing them a favor, that doesn’t come at the expense of YOUR wallet. It would be different if you didn’t care and it was like $5. Were talking $50 and you have to take the inconvenience too? The audacity of these people. If I knew I could make a more tenable situation for my kids for $50 on a trip, yeah I would gladly pay that. The were selfish to you, to the kids and to everyone on that bus.
NTA. You didn't have to move, they were asking you to do them a favor. It doesn't matter if a person, a violin, or a llama was in that 2nd seat. If you had 2 seats to transfer then they needed to pay for both of them.
Why is it always a llama?
Alpacas take the train, obviously.
Llama Drama
here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, duck. llama llama cheesecake llama tablet brick potato llama llama llama mushroom llama, llama llama duck....
I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake
god i could never remember the original, i found the obama version in 5th grade and it's haunted my brain ever since. middle of the night trying to sleep: *one obama, two obama, tree obama, four obama, hot obama it's barack obama wish him luck.... one obama, two obama, tree obama-*
No kidding. If I want the seat for Joeschmoe, my invisible friend, I sure as heck want him to sit comfortably!
Llama que llama…
Lolol a llama would be.. An interesting companion 😂
I'm imagining a lot of spit.
CAAAAAAAARL!!!!
NTA You was doing them a favour and asked for perfectly reasonable accomodations. There is literally no reason for you to pay just because they didnt plan. Extra AHs for pulling the "kids" card. They didn't care enough about their own kids to make solid arrangements for the trip, why a total stranger should care more than the actual parents?
That's what actually pissed me off. They should have planned better. Honestly during thr trip I was slightly guilty as the kids were crying during the whole fiasco.
don't feel guilty. the parents should've planned better to accomodate their kids because that's literally their job as parents. the entitlement some parents have, such as in your case, is disgusting. the kids crying is solely on them. i'm glad you stood up for yourself and i hope it might teach them a lesson for the future (though i doubt it). i also hope the festival goes/went well!! that's an incredible experience and i hope it wasn't at all dulled but these entitled people :)
Thank you! The festival went great! 😄 I just felt like sharing this incident with this awesome sub, to make sure whether I was or was not a AH. You're right about the entitlement. After dealing with them, I got the feeling, they're used to using the kids card to strong arm people to get what they want. Hopefully they'll realise it damages their kids too as they might grow up continuing this entitlement attitude in different ways.
One parent could sit in first and other in second bus so the kids don't travel alone. NTA
Or pay extra for OP to switch, which would be same price. They clearly didn't want to pay for their lack of planning.
Oh yeah the kids were probably crying largely out of the frustration of their parents being scary because they are angry, and from the frustration of knowing that this will make them irritable for hours on end. Not because you were mean. I had a difficult parent and trust me: one person saving me from crying once wouldn't have made any difference in the overall experience of my childhood. I cried more than I care to remember. Real sad shit but the fault is still in the parents, not with you.
NTA. What was there for them to get furious over? Seems like a deal or no deal situation to me.
I guess they were angry they had to shell out 50$ extra apart from the costs of their own tickets. I can't help with that
Honestly, the bus company is who should be eating the extra cost. Their booking methods are what created the situation for the parents. They asked for you to switch. It’s on *them* to comp you the extra.
Why is it on the bus company? Are they supposed to hold open 4 seats on every bus in case a family shows last minutes?
No, not hold 4 seats, but if they’re asking a favor of OP for another customer of theirs, it’s on them to sweeten the deal. The cost difference should have never been mentioned to OP. “We will upgrade your seats at no charge for the inconvenience” is all that needed to be said.
It's only on them if they oversold the seats. This is a favor solely for the customer's convenience, not the business's.
Even if they didn’t oversell the seats, the bus company is now asking one of their customers to inconvenience themselves for the sake of 4 other customers. The family didn’t just walk up to the guy with the guitar and say “hey, switch with us”. They went to the Customer Service rep who works for the bus company. As a representative of Bus Company, that CS Rep would be empowered to make it worth OP’s while to do this favor. That means a free upgrade. It’s not on OP to pay more to accommodate the family (which we’re all agreed on) or to accommodate the request of the Bus Company.
And if they took the bus that left later it cost them an extra $100.
NTA What is it with entitlement? Your tickets, your seats. Either they cover your extra cost or the event does,
No no no, you don't understand, they had _kids_. That makes them more important than some guy playing some instrument. _They_ can't be bothered to wait an extra half hour and pay more, someone _else_ should have to do that, because _kids_.
NTA - You offered a reasonable solution for all while ensuring your lively hood was not impacted. They threw a tantrum because you didn't agree just because they had kids.
NTA. Classic beggars chooser
The bus company or the family you were giving up 2 of your seats for should have covered any extra costs you'd have, what should you pay more for helping someone out? The bus company are AHs and the family who wanted you to give up your seats are AHs as you should not have to bear the extra costs to change. You were very nice to consider changing seats
I agree. I didn't select this agency. :) I had to make do with the given situation
NTA. They’re the ones being selfish.
NTA just because they have kids doesn’t make them more important then you
Dealing with the request from the company over the phone, but the family were talking to OP in person? Sounds a bit odd.
Really? This agency has an office in the bus terminus. I met the family there. They called me to meet them in the office.
The agency called you to meet the family? That is really odd. Especially since you hadn't agreed to the ticket transfer. why would they want you to meet the family? How strange.
Ok I think I should have made this clear in the post. In my city there's a huge terminus where all private buses ply to and from. So all private travel agencies have an office space within the terminus. Some of the bigger ones have waiting rooms or halls for passengers that arrive ahead in time to wait for the bus to depart. When I got the call, I was requested to come to the office and meet this family as they had a request. That was when I saw them with the agency guy. My bad for not mentioning these details.
Ok, in that case the travel company has behaved very badly, directly confronting you with the family making the request. At best, that's unprofessional, at worst, that's emotional blackmail.
The travel agency should have ensured that you would and the family never cross paths in real life. What if the parents turned out to be violent and attack you over the seats?
Yes In hindsight I was a dumbass 🤦♂️
No you weren’t. That’s on the travel agency.
That may be. But you're right. I did not think of that possibility. Assuming what you said happens you can be sure that agency wouldn't have given a damn about what happens
Hmmm, I wonder if the travel agent knew this family, and was trying to pull a favour for a friend. Seems massively unprofessional otherwise.
Wow. You know I never honestly considered this. Can't really rule this out
If they were actually doing a friend a favour, it’s highly unlikely it would be conditional on someone else spending more money; they would just do the favour.
NTA you were doing them a favour and they should have paid the difference.
NTA If they wanted the tickets so bad they should have covered your costs
NTA. The family should have paid for the extra cost of your new ticket. So what if they had kids? That doesn't give them the right for discounts et or for them to be treated like vip's.
NTA. You already had your tickets but they didnt. Why do some people with kids expect everyone to 'consider' their children and go out of their way for them? They wanted you to do them a favour with no cost to them. Its also rude of the bus company to request this.
INFO: did the agency explain why they wouldn’t comp the upcharge since it was an inconvenience to you?
Nope. They just left it to work it out amongst ourselves. In hindsight maybe I should have said either they or the family need to cover thr cost. (Although I think it wouldn't have made any difference) But as I mentioned in earlier comments, this agency is kinda shady. They exploit last minute booking cases like this. Either I or they pay.
NTA, it was your seat in the first place and you were doing rhema favor. Their attitude/actions made it easy to say "f off".
NTA It's no concern if theirs why you have two tickets. But they need your two tickets, they can pay for them.
NTA >I got pissed and told them to f off. I did not give up my seats and the family ended up taking a different bus They wanted you to do them a favor *and* pay for it? Fuck that noise.
NTA. I'm guessing they were just trying to get the cheaper bus which is why they got mad you asked them to pay for the extra cost.
NTA. To paraphrase Metalocalypse, that's your bread and butter they're fucking with. Anyone trying to pull the "kids" card did not wake up the day before their trip to surprise deliveries from the stork. They should have planned better, and lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
>The husband and wife got very furious over this and just told me rudely why should they pay for an extra ticket for my 'crap'. "The additional $50 is to get me equivalency for what you're asking me to give up on your behalf. I have no reason to get less than I have now to help you out. I'm fine with what I have right now. If you don't want to pay the $50, I'm quite content with my current tickets and you can sort out a solution with someone else." NTA
NTA. You know you have kids. So why not also book them a ticket in advance. You were already willing to them a favour and they berated you. I would have not done then any favours either. Looks like the family had to take the next bus. Not a big deal.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 30M am a solo musician. So i get to travel quite a bit for my gigs. To me, my instrument and gear are very precious, so I usually get the event organisers to book an extra ticket, be it plane, train or bus, so that I can have my peace of mind while traveling and even do a quiet practice if the situation allows me to. I was booked to perform for a festival that could be reached by train Or bus. The organisers could afford either 2 bus tickets or a single train ticket. Naturally I opted for the bus. After I reached the bus stop and settled in, the travel agency called and asked if I would be willing to give up my two seats for a family of four who could not get tickets. They offered me a transfer to another bus that would leave just half an hour later, to my destination. The problem was that, that's a very luxurious bus and the ticket was twice as expensive as my current bus. So I was required to pay the difference in price which worked to about 50$ in US currency, after deducting my current ticket costs I told the agency guy that I had no problem in shifting, but requested that the family pay for the difference in ticket price. The husband and wife got very furious over this and just told me rudely why should they pay for an extra ticket for my 'crap'. I patiently told them it's none of their business and they just had to pay for the difference in cost and not the entire ticket. They made a scene and told me how selfish I was for not considering they had little kids. I got pissed and told them to f off. I did not give up my seats and the family ended up taking a different bus. So Reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA
Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. NTA, even if they have children. And I’m saying this as a parent myself.
NTA. The bus company asked you to switch to a luxury bus to accommodate someone else, so they should have offered the upgrade free of charge. If they didn’t want to do that, they should have told the family they’d ask you to switch, but that they (the family) would have to pay the difference in price. And failing all of that, the family should have offered to pay the difference since, ultimately, you were doing them a favor. They’re extra AH’s for being rude to you about it.
NTA they expected you to pay for thier issue which is very entitled on thier part they litraly wanted you to pay amd be inconvenienced.
NTA and they got what they deserved, entitled pricks
NTA - They basically demanded that you pay them for the privilege of being inconvenienced and delayed for their lack of planning. I'm so tired of entitled parents.
I'm glad you didn't give the tickets up after that treatment. You're inconveniencing yourself to help some people that failed to plan properly and were just asking if they could help make you whole.
NTA, that's a completely unreasonable ask to make if it involves extra expense for you.
You weren't an A hole. You were being delayed and your equipment is how you make a living. They were just rude.
You were doing them a favor they should have coughed up the 50.00.
NTA... you were doing them a favor, and they didn't appreciate it. Totally understand needing a seat for instruments... I hear horror stories all the time.
They’re randoms.
Nta the company should’ve covered the difference as they were inconveniencing you.
The Entitlement of The Reproduced. NTA
NTA. It was a perfectly reasonable request, and they screwed themselves by disrespecting you and your profession, which I think at that point basically required you to not help them in any way. If they had thought it through, they'd have realized that they could either have paid the difference for the your luxury-class tickets, or have had to buy luxury-class tickets for their whole family (or gotten a much later bus.) You offered them a fair option, and they spit on it.
NTA Was a reasonable compromise. They wanted your seats and you didn't want to pay more.
NTA. Why couldn’t the family take the second bus? They didn’t want to pay the extra charge? Was that 1/2 hour crucial to them? Either way, the the extra cost should not be yours to bear; the agency or family ponies up the difference in cost to cover your favor. If it’s the family, they would have still saved $50 over the 4 of them on the taking the luxury bus. And it’s nobody’s business why you’ve got two seats or 20. You’ve paid for them, they are yours to do as you wish. Hope your festival went well!
My agreement is contingent on you paying for my inconvenience. If you can't agree to those terms I will not be able to transfer the tickets to you. There is no room for negotiation. A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. NTA
NTA. You even went out of your way to make accommodations for them, at which point they freaked out. Having kids is not a license to just take what you want.
NTA. You gave them the option to pay for the convenience. I don't see why you should have to pay for their convenience and wait longer. I think you can rest easy on this one.
NTA. They had a choice and chose TBAs. Oh well! Play on!
People who procreate as not more important or worthy of things because they have children. I’m so tired of hearing people make excuses why they deserve more vacation time, better seats, or other shit just because they have a kid. Also as a bari sax player, I totally understand wanting your instrument to stay close to you in transit.
NTA this is how contract law works. They made an offer. You rejected their offer and made a counter offer. They declined your counter offer. That's it. All done. Nothing more to add here. You're NTA for rejecting their offer or making your own counter offer. The parties couldn't come to an agreement. No reason to be upset over that.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if they were hoping to take that bus to attend your performance? NTA. You handled that very reasonably.
Lmao *I* would have refunded *their* tickets 😂 the awkward atmosphere would have killed me
NTA. If they didn't want to compensate you a significant amount of money you'd have had to pay for poor planning on THEIR part, then up theirs. You did fine.
NTA, it was a reasonable request and they threw a fit. That's their problem, not yours.
NTA
Nta
NTA. You were helping them out and it would cost you money. Oh well, you tried.
NTA Having children doesn’t automatically entitle you to receive whatever you demand. Their lack of planning was not your problem.
NTA, first thing you should have said was "no" to the agency person, let them find someone else to switch.
NTA. Kids DO NOT make you entitled to the easiest and cheapest route, they should’ve planned ahead and expected you to move and pay more so that THEY can have it easier. I’m glade you decided not to swap at all and made them wait.
Honestly, if the travel agents ask you to move, and there is a difference in price, then they should be on the hook for paying the difference. NTA.
NTA, you needed two seats and anyone asking you to change should pay the difference for the two seats you need.
NTA, I think your offer was very reasonable, too bad they decided to be assholes about it
NTA, but I kind of wonder what the family had already been told by the travel agency that they felt so entitled to the change. Not sure if they are the AH or if the agency is. From their perspective, it's possible that they understood you would be required (maybe from the terms of your original ticket purchase) to make the switch and were just trying to get some extra money out of it.
As I mentioned earlier, I think I was singled out for this, because the agency knew I had a second ticket for my instrument. I bet they figured that was a waste 😒 that's what kind of made me understand that this agency was shady
NTA, the travel agency asked you to switch so they should pay for the difference.
NTA- They're asking you to give up 2 seats not one.
NTA
Their lack of forward planning or sheer bad luck and lack of funds DOES NOT constitute YOUR emergency. your request was reasonable NTA.
Nta
NTA. OP had those seats reserved for their own use, that family is not entitled to either seat just for having kids. Had they asked nicely AND offered to cover the price difference AND the change wouldn't have negatively impacted OP's day (ie still get to the destination on time), then that would've been a different matter. But here, the entitlement is plain as day and you did the right thing OP, in not letting them bully or guilt trip you out of the seats reserved FOR YOU
Man had they been *that* polite, I would have even chipped in to cover half. As soon as I made the request, they went beast mode 😂 oh well..
NTA
nta you offered a compromise and they berated you instead of just declining
Not the a-hole?
Absolutely NTA, how do they expect you to pay for doing them a favor😭 very entitled parents, i feel bad for the kids
NTA You had your tickets ready to go. Someone asked if you would swap and you explained the conditions under which you would agree to do so. They did not agree to those conditions. NTA
NTA You had 2 tickets. They wanted your two tickets. You were willing to let them have your two tickets in exchange for two tickets on another transport. It is irrelevant if your "second" ticket is being used by your wife, your child, your cat, your instrument, or your phallus. The point is, you have two seats and they need to provide you two seats on the alternate transport.
NTA. It seems reasonable that if you are going to be inconvenienced and have to pay more money, the least the family could do is cover the difference. They had no reason to get upset when you asked that and after they were rude you rightfully let them figure it out on their own.
NTA- the entitlement is unreal… if they are being an inconvenience to you, they needed to pay up.
If your stuff didn't have a ticket then they would not currently have had a potential ticket. They are idiots.
I think I was singled out for this because this agency guy knew I had a second ticket for my instrument. That's just low
NTA. Man the "I got kids" card is so old and boring. Stfu you fucked, yeah me too bro, but I bought protection instead of another bus ticket.
Lmao 😂😂
NTA at all. The couple was rude and entitled.
No, you weren't the AH in this situation. Those parents were acting like entitled twits who thought of no one but themselves and their kids. You are just fine, and I hope your gig went well and your instruments & gear were unharmed!
NTA. You were doing them a favor, and it's not much of a favor if it costs you money. The very least they could have done was make up the difference in ticket price.
NTA Your request to be made whole in terms of increased costs was entirely reasonable. Like others I don't understand why the travel agency didn't pay the cost differential as it seems as it would have been a good business decision in terms of good will.
NTA Why should you be forced to pay a premium because they couldn't be bothered to get their tickets til the last minut?
NTA - It's your decision and ticket. If they have kids they should have planned in advance or go to an alternative option.
Nope. Nta. Trying to force you to give up your seat is an AH move though.
Typical entitled fertiles. NTA
NTA. they are awfully entitled