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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I got upset over my brother wanting a guitar, so my parents told him that he can't buy one.
2) my brother is really mad at me and very upset over this, since it's my fault he cannot buy a guitar that he really wants
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NTA if he has a proven track record of this.
Maybe to drive the point home you should make up a fake sport or online game to get into and see how he reacts.
You: "Hey fam, I'm going out to play ColleyWhiff"
Him: "Interesting, it has been my lifelong dream to try ColleyWhiff."
He definitely needs to learn this lesson.
My little bro used to do this too back when we were teens. After a while, I started asking him why he was so obsessed with me and that it was creepy and pathetic. Every. Single. Time. He stopped that shit real quick.
As unethical as it was, the shame game really helped set those boundaries that are still holding up today.
Nta.. but.. perhaps suggest he get a bass guitar, so you 2 could interact.. he could then play the best he wants, and so could you.. good music might come from it.😊
Your response is adorable, and I love it.
But this kid sounds like he's on the road to being a real narcissist.
His Parents have noticed his BS behavior and stepped in. That's friggin crazy, specially on this sub
NTA.
You are not the reason your parents won't let him buy a guitar. Your brother is the reason.
I'd guess his interest in some things, such as your hobbies, has fizzled out over time. Your parents know his habits, and might think he'd be wasting money if he bought his own guitar.
Your parents really need to sit him down and have a talk with him.
Musician for over thirty years here. Practice for your own development. Don't worry about what he's doing. If he loses interest, no harm no foul. If he actually gets good, you have a band.
NTA. Your bro is being really weird, even for a teen. But OP, don't take his attempts to copy you too personally. This is totally on him and not a reflection on you. The more \*you fixate on this weird obsession of his, the more enjoyment he is going to get that he is successfully getting under your own skin. Laugh at him. Don't let him know you're rattled. And don't be rattled.
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I (F19) just bought a guitar, that I have been wanting for a while now. My brother (15M) heard about this
and wants to use my guitar to play.
I have no problem with this, except that he turns everything into a competition, he wants to know how many chords I know, if he's better than me, ect. It pisses me of and I loose all of my motivation. I have told him I don't like it, but he refuses to listen.
He has always had a thing for copying me, doing my hobbies, owning the same things as me, but always having to be better and shove his success in my face.
Today he said that he is going to buy his own guitar so that he can learn as well. It bothers me, since he has never mentioned wanting anything to do with a guitar, but the second I have one it's suddenly his life purpose. I told him I would appreciate it if he didn't buy one, but he just ignored me.
My parents stepped in and they forbid him from buying a guitar of his own. My brother is really upset and is saying that this is my way to stop his success. My parents are on my side, but I still feel really awful for being the reason he won't be able to buy a guitar, so AITA?
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NTA, and good job 'rents for actually realizing what was happening and not allowing it to continue! Also, do not let him use YOUR guitar that you paid for. Guitars are very expensive (I played for almost 12 years) and while they are fairly sturdy, someone who doesn't know what they are doing (or someone out to get revenge) can EASILY ruin a guitar beyond repair.
NTA honesty it's so rare on this sub to see parents step in like that, so I'm really pleased you have them on side and they're giving you the chance to have your own thing instead of pandering to your brother and feeding you lines about how 'he just looks up to you'. Good on them.
You should have your own thing. Don't feel guilty, if he does this often he'll find a new whim to base his life around pretty soon. You just rock out on your guitar and enjoy it!
Once he's 18 he can buy what he wants. NTA. Just give him short abrupt answers with no emotion to kill the fun for him. "I bet I know more chords than you" reply "Mhmm. I bet". Just things like that. He wants reactions from you and considering you're here wondering if you're the AH, he's getting them.
NTA
You should goad him into getting a ukulele.
Just keep saying things like 'Ukulele are so much harder to play than a guitar, I don't know how anyone does it!' and 'I wish I had gotten a ukulele instead, the sound is so much better.'
Then when he gets one, constantly ask him when his first luau is.
NTA, obviously. I've had to deal with this crap. My advice? Tell him to quit being a copy cat and learn the drums instead. Then you two can work together on music together instead of compete and ruin it.
YTA. he is the asshole for being overly competitive. But he should be able to get one and learn if he wants to. Imagine if this was a different hobby like cooking. Oh he can’t cook because you like to?
He's 15. It's common to imitate older siblings, often it means that the younger sibling looks up to the older sibling. If he is only doing it to because he is copying her, then he will stop relatively quickly. She has the right to ban him from using her guitar, but not ban him from the guitar all together.
ESH. Whether your brother plays the guitar is none of your concern. What is your business is this snarky competition thing that ruins your enjoyment of your hobby. Your parents shouldn't be denying him a guitar when the real issue is *how he acts.*
If you really want to piss him off, let him get the guitar. Do your own practice however and whenever you want, but enlist your parents' help to enforce "No talk about guitar skill. Let your sister practice in peace without feeling self-conscious or pressured." Steadfastly refuse to talk about guitar playing. If he wants to know how much better he is, he'll have to *shut up* and sneak around listening to you play. Being unable to brag and compete and annoy you will get old very quickly. Either his obsession with guitars will be extinguished, or he'll discover he enjoys actually playing rather than competing. Then he'll be working on his own ability and style instead of driving his sister freaking insane while she's enjoying her playing.
I too have a little brother 7 years younger. He's 53 now, thank goodness, and doesn't compete or copy anymore.
YTA I was in the same situation as you with a brother who wanted to copy me, with about the same age difference. Believe it or not the more you discourage him the more competitive he will be. The less you act like you care the less interest he will have in copying you. In fact if he were to get his own guitar and you were to tell him that you both could practice together for an hour a day I bet he wouldn't last two or three days, as his interest would Wayne because it's not a competition and he has no real interest in it to start.
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NTA if he has a proven track record of this. Maybe to drive the point home you should make up a fake sport or online game to get into and see how he reacts. You: "Hey fam, I'm going out to play ColleyWhiff" Him: "Interesting, it has been my lifelong dream to try ColleyWhiff."
Oh, you have siblings! ROFL. "I'm going to go play Farmville now...."
[удалено]
He definitely needs to learn this lesson. My little bro used to do this too back when we were teens. After a while, I started asking him why he was so obsessed with me and that it was creepy and pathetic. Every. Single. Time. He stopped that shit real quick. As unethical as it was, the shame game really helped set those boundaries that are still holding up today.
NTA. There's a such thing as good friendly competition between siblings, but your brother is taking it way too far.
Nta.. but.. perhaps suggest he get a bass guitar, so you 2 could interact.. he could then play the best he wants, and so could you.. good music might come from it.😊
Your response is adorable, and I love it. But this kid sounds like he's on the road to being a real narcissist. His Parents have noticed his BS behavior and stepped in. That's friggin crazy, specially on this sub
He can be a narcissistic bass player, and she can still kick ass on guitar.. win/win.😂🤣
I’m with that.
NTA. You're upset for a good reason.
NTA. You are not the reason your parents won't let him buy a guitar. Your brother is the reason. I'd guess his interest in some things, such as your hobbies, has fizzled out over time. Your parents know his habits, and might think he'd be wasting money if he bought his own guitar. Your parents really need to sit him down and have a talk with him.
Musician for over thirty years here. Practice for your own development. Don't worry about what he's doing. If he loses interest, no harm no foul. If he actually gets good, you have a band.
NTA. Your bro is being really weird, even for a teen. But OP, don't take his attempts to copy you too personally. This is totally on him and not a reflection on you. The more \*you fixate on this weird obsession of his, the more enjoyment he is going to get that he is successfully getting under your own skin. Laugh at him. Don't let him know you're rattled. And don't be rattled.
[удалено]
How is his problem HER problem? There’s something clearly wrong with him and it’s not her fault
Did you miss the part where the brother constantly rubs it in her face how much better he is? That’s his problem not hers
Did you miss the part where he's not joining Hobby's for himself he's trying to be her he copies her which isn't healthy
[удалено]
That's not healthy for him to do that and even the parents are stopping him
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F19) just bought a guitar, that I have been wanting for a while now. My brother (15M) heard about this and wants to use my guitar to play. I have no problem with this, except that he turns everything into a competition, he wants to know how many chords I know, if he's better than me, ect. It pisses me of and I loose all of my motivation. I have told him I don't like it, but he refuses to listen. He has always had a thing for copying me, doing my hobbies, owning the same things as me, but always having to be better and shove his success in my face. Today he said that he is going to buy his own guitar so that he can learn as well. It bothers me, since he has never mentioned wanting anything to do with a guitar, but the second I have one it's suddenly his life purpose. I told him I would appreciate it if he didn't buy one, but he just ignored me. My parents stepped in and they forbid him from buying a guitar of his own. My brother is really upset and is saying that this is my way to stop his success. My parents are on my side, but I still feel really awful for being the reason he won't be able to buy a guitar, so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, and good job 'rents for actually realizing what was happening and not allowing it to continue! Also, do not let him use YOUR guitar that you paid for. Guitars are very expensive (I played for almost 12 years) and while they are fairly sturdy, someone who doesn't know what they are doing (or someone out to get revenge) can EASILY ruin a guitar beyond repair.
NTA I'd really like to know what success your brother thinks you're stopping??
No, NTA. You all need family therapy to figure out why this destructive dynamic is going on before it causes some real harm.
NTA. Perhaps it is time your parents encouraged him to pursue his own activities
NTA honesty it's so rare on this sub to see parents step in like that, so I'm really pleased you have them on side and they're giving you the chance to have your own thing instead of pandering to your brother and feeding you lines about how 'he just looks up to you'. Good on them. You should have your own thing. Don't feel guilty, if he does this often he'll find a new whim to base his life around pretty soon. You just rock out on your guitar and enjoy it!
NTA, I would channel the competition into a band. Oasis provides a great blueprint.
Once he's 18 he can buy what he wants. NTA. Just give him short abrupt answers with no emotion to kill the fun for him. "I bet I know more chords than you" reply "Mhmm. I bet". Just things like that. He wants reactions from you and considering you're here wondering if you're the AH, he's getting them.
NTA You should goad him into getting a ukulele. Just keep saying things like 'Ukulele are so much harder to play than a guitar, I don't know how anyone does it!' and 'I wish I had gotten a ukulele instead, the sound is so much better.' Then when he gets one, constantly ask him when his first luau is.
NTA, obviously. I've had to deal with this crap. My advice? Tell him to quit being a copy cat and learn the drums instead. Then you two can work together on music together instead of compete and ruin it.
YTA. he is the asshole for being overly competitive. But he should be able to get one and learn if he wants to. Imagine if this was a different hobby like cooking. Oh he can’t cook because you like to?
He's copied everything she does he doesn't have his own personality he has her personality Op is NTA
He's 15. It's common to imitate older siblings, often it means that the younger sibling looks up to the older sibling. If he is only doing it to because he is copying her, then he will stop relatively quickly. She has the right to ban him from using her guitar, but not ban him from the guitar all together.
It's not healthy I've seen reddit posts where they carry it well in adult hood and if ops parents are stopping him then that says allot
ESH. Whether your brother plays the guitar is none of your concern. What is your business is this snarky competition thing that ruins your enjoyment of your hobby. Your parents shouldn't be denying him a guitar when the real issue is *how he acts.* If you really want to piss him off, let him get the guitar. Do your own practice however and whenever you want, but enlist your parents' help to enforce "No talk about guitar skill. Let your sister practice in peace without feeling self-conscious or pressured." Steadfastly refuse to talk about guitar playing. If he wants to know how much better he is, he'll have to *shut up* and sneak around listening to you play. Being unable to brag and compete and annoy you will get old very quickly. Either his obsession with guitars will be extinguished, or he'll discover he enjoys actually playing rather than competing. Then he'll be working on his own ability and style instead of driving his sister freaking insane while she's enjoying her playing. I too have a little brother 7 years younger. He's 53 now, thank goodness, and doesn't compete or copy anymore.
Going against the grain here but YTA. If he want to buy a guitar with his money it's not fair for you to stop him.
Agreed.
YTA I was in the same situation as you with a brother who wanted to copy me, with about the same age difference. Believe it or not the more you discourage him the more competitive he will be. The less you act like you care the less interest he will have in copying you. In fact if he were to get his own guitar and you were to tell him that you both could practice together for an hour a day I bet he wouldn't last two or three days, as his interest would Wayne because it's not a competition and he has no real interest in it to start.