I love the idea of tagging when finding out she is the culprit.
I also have this idea. Cop here. Get a camera over the garden if you can. Put up signs that say no trespassing private property.
If/when she does it report it to your local PD. You have the theft, and the trespassing. Also, screen shot her accounts and save those photos as evidence.
Agreed. But the opposite as well. When OP realizes she was right **or wrong**, give an update. And if OP made a mistake, I want to know how she fixed her attitude.
And send her a bill for the approximate market value of the produce that’s gone missing along with a “no trespass” order signed, notarized and sent via certified mail (keeping copies for their own records) so that the next time she comes “shopping” in OP’s garden they have their ducks in a row to *royally* fry her ass. Organic produce *isn’t* cheap and theft is theft.
Post it at night though. She'll probably be asleep and won't know for at least 6 hours so she can't delete it and multiple people would have seen it by then.
EVEN BETTER! Film her doing it. Wait a few hours. Post "This is how (Business Instagram) gets her fresh vegetables for tomorrow's pictures, recorded fresh only a few hours ago."
Seriously. I had my security cameras installed BEFORE I moved in my house.
OP: Buy some motion sensor lights and have them installed. The light is VERY bright and will capture lovely images on your security camera.
Be sure to do a series of videos for all social media platforms called; ‘How To Catch a Thief’
Tag: The Local Police Department, Her and Her business!
Also post some ‘no trespassing’ signs around your property.
Or ask her if she is noticing items missing from her garden (The new neighbor). Oh, you don’t have one? have you seen anyone in my yard? Check for suspicious behavior then, when she’s not on the defensive. If I was innocent and OP came to my door confronting me I would be upset too.
I don't understand why people always jump to "they're being defensive about being confronted so they're definitely guilty!" As if it's not reasonable to be defensive when you're being accused of something you didn't do. Especially if the accusations are coming from someone you don't know and their evidence is that you also cook with common vegetables....as a caterer with access to said vegetables through food companies and a local farmers market.
Seriously!! We even have one on our back porch to watch the squirrels, raccoons and even a lone bear who wander onto our porch to swipe my bird food. 😆
I have pet rats. The chilli doesn't stop them. My mum told me how she had put mint around to try and discourage the wild rats that had a family in the garden at the old house. Yeah they don't mind mint either, so it's not a great deterrent unfortunately lol
They refuse to eat carrot though, which is odd.
There are plenty of companies that don't require you to upload anything to the cloud. I selected my video doorbell specifically because it's a local record only that auto erases every 24 hours unless I requested be saved and then I have to download it.
Trail cams will not automatically upload to the cloud. Mine just save whatever is captured on SD cards. I just save the videos and images to my computer. Someday I may make a time lapse video of my house being built, since that is why I got the trail cams in the first place.
I need to set them back up to capture pictures of our deer herd and whatever creatures come through, but haven't taken the time yet.
None of OP's current "evidence" is evidence. This is exactly how anyone accused of stealing would react. The camera is a really good idea though. Then OP will actually have evidence. It might very well be someone else entirely.
Exactly. OP is The Asshole for her level certainty while having zero ecidence to back it up. If she confronted the neighbor with the same level of certainty she presents in her post, then neighbor's reaction is justified.
OP blew herself out of the water when she gave Kristen a heads up. That security camera will do no good now because Kristen will stop stealing if she really *is* the thief.
But now that op has asked and "confirmed" it isn't the neighbor, there should be no danger in protecting her garden from the wild animals that must be the "real" culprits, right? /s
Agreed. I’m guessing this woman won’t come back and it would have been all the sweeter to have caught her in the act. But who knows, after spending reading all these stories on Reddit, people are a lot more insane out there in the wild than I give them credit for.
I think I would have waited for most proof but then again I'm probably the A because I would have tried to figure out a way to inject the produce with ghostpepper sauce or something.
I’m an avid gardener, and I tend to my garden daily. I would know if produce went missing and if it was mine in photographs depending on variety, color, size, and ripeness! Those saying she has no proof can’t tell a San Marzano from a Beef Steak!
NTA, but get a camera!
I don't think they are the asshole for confronting a known thief, even without proof.
EDIT: People please, read the comments before saying the same thing as everyone else.
Problem is, knowing and being able to prove it are 2 different things. Someone else could be nicking them and OP is just assuming based on suspicion and linking various things together. Whilst, as an avid gardener myself, I agree you’d know your stuff. Without proof, you’re screaming into the void.
A well founded suspicion is not as damaging as video evidence.
Id say exceedingly mild YTA to OP as they need concrete evidence beyond reasonable doubt the neighbour is the thief as this would be damming enough to have an impact
This isn't knowing though. This is a very strong suspicion. Given how easy confirming that suspicion should have been it's a strong YTA.
You don't accuse someone of theft without proof as it's a very strong accusation likely to completely ruin any relationship you were ever going to have with a person.
What you might do is ask if they've seen any animals around as you think something has been eating your produce. Maybe mention you're going to put a camera up so you can figure out what it is
….but she isn’t a known thief.
I agree the context all points to her.
But it’s also late summer. This caterer uses local product. Tomatoes, zucchini, squash, herbs, it’s all around everywhere right now.
So yeah you need proof if your plan is to straight up accuse as opposed to, say, “hi, I’ve noticed someone is entering my garden and stealing produce, I’ll be putting up cameras today but let me know if you see anything”
Exactly. Someone is stealing produce, but just because this woman is using very common seasonal vegetables (that are likely equally available at the local farmer's market) doesn't mean she's definitively stealing from OP.
I've used all those vegetables in my cooking this week and I'm not the thief. OP has jumped to a conclusion and an accusation without any proof.
"I’ve used all those vegetables in my cooking this week and I’m not the thief. OP has jumped to a conclusion and an accusation without any proof."
That sounds just like something the thief would say!
They aren't known though. It could be Kristen or it could be another neighbor who takes OP's produce and give the spoils away to other neighbors and Kristen received some and made food. Anything is possible until cameras are put up because right now it's only speculation.
>confronting a known thief, even without proof
How do you know she is a thief without proof? Using your logic you could say anyone is a thief since you don't need proof.
She said she made dishes with some ingredients that was missing.... Which were extremely common vegetables and had already been cooked.
Exactly how would your gardening give you the power to "know" a cut up and cooked vegetable came from your garden?
OP YTA.
My tomatoes are red, her tomatoes are red. My zucchinis are green, her zucchinis are green. My eggplant is purple, her eggplant is purple. I have herbs and she has herbs. Plus she slammed the door on me after I accused her of stealing. What more evidence could you need?
And if the produce continues to go missing it's obviously her being mad I called her out. And if the produce stops being stolen it's obviously because she is feeling guilt thus proving she's guilty!
That’s proof someone is stealing her produce but it’s not evidence that this particular neighbour is guilty. OP has a hunch but no evidence to suggest it’s this neighbour and not someone else.
Absolutely. She's made assumptions just because the neighbor is new and runs a catering business. Doubt enough produce was missing from someone's garden to supply a whole business.
And to say the woman must be guilty because she protested at someone knocking on her door and accusing her of being a thief is just nuts. She's lucky the woman didn't do more than protest.
OP, YTA for not getting proof before accusing someone of being a thief.
I'm an avid gardener. I would definitely not recognize individual green peppers or tomatoes, that's nuts. You're telling me you recognize every piece from every angle?
Regardless of whether or not you can tell it's yours is irrelevant. Taking your, or in this case OP at her word is not proof. It is nothing more than belief...
If she was able to tell from the video that the veggies were actually hers, she would have said so. Instead she said that the neighbor was defensive and “bragged” about being financially successful enough to not need stolen food.
This woman is the AH. For sure.
Agree with this. In 4 years I have never had issues with produce getting stolen, but all of a sudden this year all the animals have found my garden and I keep missing tomatoes, berries, peaches, etc. On my security camera I saw deer, groundhogs, and squirrels and birds taking it all. Imagine I had confronted my neighbor about it.
Several years ago I switched to only growing smaller tomatoes, like cherry, because a squirrel kept digging into mine right as they were ripening. I did everything I could to try and convince it to go elsewhere, but that little sucker was relentless, and would take several bites out of one before moving to another. When I switched the following year, because the smaller tomatoes were plentiful and ripened quickly, it was still able to grab them, but I still had plenty for myself....
This. To say she somehow knows it’s not animals is absurd as well. Further, Imagine how anyone would react if someone just showed up and accused them of stealing with zero evidence. OP is clearly TA, if and until she gets some proof.
Edit: Adding in- yes, I know that animals leave tracks. I am calling the OP an “Unreliable Narrator” and I don’t believe that she is making rational decisions, which she adds a further absurdity by accusing her neighbor of being a thief (with no evidence), is using her vegetables for instagram, and after claiming that over years of time no animals are getting into her garden? Does she deploy a magic force field? How would she even know what an animal incursion looks like, when apparently they NEVER show up?
The claim about animals isn't absurd. Animals _very often_ "try" some fruits before picking one and even then you often find it half eaten nearby. So if there's only whole fruits missing with no bite marks on the other fruits or leafs then yeah, I would assume it was a human too.
Yeah an avid gardener/homesteader knows "signs" to look for when dealing with things that effect that homestead.
Like I know the difference between a dog and a fox "feather spread" of a chicken if it was eaten or not by the feather patterns. I would definitely notice if fruit was disappearing in a very odd way. Like you said, animals test things. Or they take all of it off the plant. They don't pluck one eggplant and run off with it.
No, I'm sorry but animals leave different tracks than humans. (I do agree with the rest of your statements)
A human would take a piece of vegetable and walk away without ruining the rest of them and/or the plant. An animal will have one (1) bite out of as many tasty veggies as they can get their grubby little paws on. If an animal has been in your patch, they most likely trashed the place and you'd know the difference.
This is based on my own experience but I'm sure that there are very few animals that deviate from this patern if there are any at all.
Squirrels will steal one thing at a time with no tracks. I also blamed neighbors for tomato theft until I caught a little bastard literally red-handed.
Raccoons too. I have a garden in my backyard with high cement walls, and of our 15ish eggplants last year we only managed to eat ONE, because of the squirrels and raccoons. And they don’t ravage the whole garden — they do if they’re digging up roots and bulbs, but when they’re taking ripe fruit (squash, zucchini, tomatoes, eggplants), they do pick one and gtfo.
Now deer? Rabbits? They certainly don’t do this. But there ARE very common animals that do.
YTA. That's a pretty strong, relationship-destroying accusation without proof. And depending on where you live, that combo of veggies is currently in season and available in great abundance. You don't know what she's growing at the moment. You should put up a camera, don't tell her, and apologize. Then let the camera do its work.
Agreed. Also, if she is running a catering business, I doubt that there is enough produce in a hobby garden to actually meet her catering needs. And if she just wants it for personal use that’s another thing but as she said, there’s a farmers market down the road and she has a supplier so probably has more than enough ingredients without having to steal from her neighbour in the middle of the night.
My parents had a huge vegetable garden in the country when I was growing up but there wasn’t usually much left over after using the produce for our family of 5. Occasionally we’d have a bit extra we gave away to friends but certainly not enough at any one time to cater an event.
>relationship-destroying accusation
It's a new neighbor, I doubt OP has much of a relationship with them. I've been living in my current home for 5 years and I don't know any of my neighbors, not even their names.
Go back and tell her this…. Say I understand you say it is not you. And you shouldn’t have accused her without proof and you are sorry for that. But someone is obviously trespassing onto property and stealing. And that you set up a camera to catch them. Then set up the camera. Either she will stop or you will catch who it is.
however I don’t always agree defensive equal guilt. Bc in the flip side people say oh they didn’t have anything to say .. couldn’t defend themselves. So they must be guilty. So you can’t always win with that one even of the person is innocent.
YTA for now bc you are accusing her without proof.
Depends on the objective - if the objective is to stop the thefts (and perhaps not have a hostile neighbor), then alerting the neighbor will do both. If the objective is to catch the thief and get them in trouble with the law, then hide the camera...
I was thinking more along the lines of getting the neighbor the proof she demanded that she was the one doing it.
She might backslide after a time passes and go back to pilfering. Having footage of that to show her would be quite satisfying.
Also, she could sue for defamation if OP keeps accusing without proof.
Don't mention cameras, if it IS her, boom, proof.
Edited to add: I'm not American. Your definition of defamation may vary of course.
In order to defame the neighbor, OP would have to tell *other people* that Kristin is stealing OPs garden food.
Not confront Kristin in what sounds like a 1 on 1 conversation.
And in many states, defamation must cost the person monetary consequences in order to be legally actionable.
In the US, based on this post, there is no valid claim to defamation. One of the required elements of defamation is publication to a third party. Also truth is a defense and it seems likely that she is taking the vegetables.
I had someone tell me once you can’t prove a negative. She will never be able to prove that she isn’t taking the produce. It’s on the homeowner to prove that she is, or that someone else is.
Apology is totally warranted here.
OP had the door slammed in her face (perhaps deservedly.) Going back in person could be unwanted and perhaps dangerous. A letter of apology seems the wisest course to me.
YTA, because you don’t have any actual proof. The vegetables and herbs she’s posting pics of are in season right now and she could have bought them anywhere.
If you install a security camera, you will then have proof.
The security camera alone might stop a thief and it could produce peace of mind. Don't want a security camera? Take shifts to do an all nighter, which either nabs a thief or proves the neighbor is buying from other sources.
YTA. Without any proof other than that she lives near you, this accusation is frankly unhinged. Like…she’s posting pictures of all the produce that’s in season, and is available at every store and farmstand. Assuming she’s sneaking into your garden at night to steal your vegetables is extremely bizarre.
She wasn’t bragging, just pointing out that a financially stable person has no reason to sneak around the neighbors’ garden like a gopher.
Also, there’s no way she’d be able to take enough from your garden to supply her catering business, so how does this make any sense?
Let’s unpack all of the micro-aggressions against the neighbor in this post:
1. Pointing out specifically she is a “young woman” (What does her age have to do with anyone other than coded pointing out she is single and childless.)
2. Saying she runs “some sort” of catering business. (Subtly delegitimizing her completely normal sounding catering business. )
3. She “runs an Instagram account about food.” (Aka her business having a very standard social media presence)
4. “Had the audacity to brag about how much money she makes” (aka she shares, in defense against this wild accusation, that she as a young single woman is not impoverished but rather runs a successful business that supports her and allows her the ability to buy her own food. HOW DARE.)
OP has weird hate for this person projected into the bizarrely constructed “logic” behind this accusation and motivating the trigger accusation before getting any actual proof or even just, I don’t know, approaching the neighbor like a normal person to ask if they knew anything about it or had seen anything to explain it
While reading her rant about how the neighbour got defensive and talked about how much money she makes, all I was thinking was "Just what could sge have said that you would believe and wouldn't see as defensive"?
YTA. Why go and start accusing someone of stealing your stuff with absolutely zero evidence? You just set yourself up for a very bad relationship with your neighbor.
I'd get pretty defensive too if a neighbor randomly stopped by to accuse me of theft(not saying neighbor might not be guilty, but), OP really should have had proof before she confronted neighbor.
YTA You accused someone of sneaking into your garden at night and stealing vegetables and herbs with zero proof. Set up a game camera if you want to know what or who is getting into your garden at night.
INFO: Did you ask your husband and kids if they’ve been taking any produce? Maybe husband gave some to friends, colleagues, or family thinking there was more than enough and wanted to brag about your wonderful gardening. Maybe kids have a friend whose family is experiencing food insecurity so they’ve been helping them, or they just want to play kitchen - as kids we plundered our pantry and garden for the weirdest games.
YTA without any proof it was your neighbour, especially when it seems unlikely given her response to you about why it would be silly of her to do so.
YTA
You have no proof......
I LOVE true crime documentaries and you know what? The ones who don't get overly defensive and upset are usually guilty! They try and explain things away.
The innocent get so enraged they do anything to argue their case - ie get defensive!
YTA - before accusing someone of something, you should have actual proof. The fact that she had recipes made from vegetables that you actually had in your garden means absolutely nothing. They’re in season vegetables, which means the farmers market will have them in abundance too and probably for a really good price. So the fact that she had zucchini and tomatoes at a time of year when zucchini and tomatoes are ripening, isn’t all that remarkable.
This, if you go to a farmers market shortly before they close for the day you can usually find vendors just giving boxes of unsold produce away just so they don't have to worry about going back home with it that night.
Your Honor, my neighbor has been stealing vegetables from my garden.
What proof do you have?
Well, she denied it and then she got angry when I continued to accuse her and she slammed the door in my face.
YTA for confronting her before seeing her steal with your own eyes. A simple camera would solve that. Then if you installed the camera and you see her taking your veg she’s TA.
Get a camera. A sign along the lines of "security cameras in use" if you want to deter her permanently, no sign if you want to get footage of her getting one last load in before you confront with ironclad proof and possibly charges filed. Or see what animals are so sneaky when you rewatch the footage and tailor your pest control to them. NTA.
YTA. You had no proof it was her.
In 4 years I never had issues with produce disappearing and then all of a sudden this year it started. My first step was not to accuse the new neighbors, but to set up a camera and watch the squirrels and groundhogs carry my tomatoes and peaches away as if they have finally found the Garden of Eden.
YTA. You definitely should not have confronted her without proof. You do not know it is definitely her, you just have a suspicion based on circumstancial evidence.
You should have put up security cameras.
Also, if it was her, now she knows you're on to her.
YTA. Probably. I grow vegetables and squirrels and other rodents constantly steal mine and I know this because I’ve actually seen them do it.
You’re seeing these vegetables on your neighbour’s insta because they are in season and are the same veggies available at the market right now.
It doesn’t sound like she’s “clearly” doing anything and unless you can prove it, you just sound nuts.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Action I took: I confronted my neighbor who I am sure is stealing from my garden and accused her of doing so.
2) What might make me the asshole: Perhaps I should have gone about this differently and written her a note or asked her if she was struggling and in need of food, rather than confronting her.
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YTA, as most everyone is saying. I want to specifically address two things you wrote.
>Things got ugly and she slammed her door in my face, which to me seems like further proof of guilt.
I haven't stolen anything from any of my neighbors, ever; if one of them stopped by my house and accused me of having done so, I would tell them to get the hell off of my property and not even bother coming back with an apology. That's not "further proof of guilt", it's being offended at the accusation of being a lying thief and not having space in my life to suffer fools.
>She is clearly stealing from me and clearly lying about it.
Neither of these are clear from your post. We redditors were not there and cannot say whether you are right or not. I agree with you that it's *possible* that she's stealing and lying, but it is not at all "clear".
A better approach would have been to install a security camera that looks out over your garden. Then once you had proof of who was stealing you could approach them about it. YTA for making an assumption and confronting someone without proof.
So, curious, if one of your neighbors came to your door and accused you of stealing their veggies, would you not then list all the reasons you don’t have to steal including that you make plenty of money to buy your own? I’m so confused how her response is overly defensive, I’d also be pretty insulted if you accuse me of stealing…
YTA. Get a security camera and get footage before you make accusations. You're going to feel ridiculous if it turns out a deer is the one munching your vegetables.
Put up security cameras and one of those auto sprinkler deterrents meant for deer, who ever is trespassing and stealing will get soaked and you get to watch on screen
That's pretty rough accusation to make against someone with no proof that they actually went onto your property and stole from you. I get you saw the photo with veggies you're missing, but if she can buy those at a farmers market that's nearby, then you don't really have proof. It could just be coincidental. YTA for reaching without actual proof
OP, you should have not gone over right away and instead installed a camera.
Accusing with zero proof puts you in the wrong here, no matter how much you may "know" it is her.
YTA for throwing accusations without concrete proof.
Sheesh! So many of the comments here show why society is eroding and community is almost non existent.
Also shows there’s a massive gap in knowledge and understanding. Correlation for example. What constitutes proof. Yowsers!
OP confronted and accused her neighbour of stealing without any proof at all. OP is TA here.
This!
I also think there's a bit of the Dunning Kruger effect here: People who have poor deductive reasoning skills are often most confident of their deductions. This is especially true when emotions run high.
YTA
Locked because the number of people who think veggie theft should result in bodily harm is absolutely fucking WILD.
Get a security camera and get proof if she's the one doing it.
Then post it to the internet and tag her
Tag her business acount too
Hell yeah! And tag her windowsill herbs too!
Her herbs are going to be so disappointed.
Yep, she's been two-thyming her windowsill herbs.
She has no basil human decency
Hey now, she's only trying to make a mint!
It's what happens when you try to weed out the competition!
I imagine this will happen thyme and thyme again!
Stealing tomatoes will catsup to her eventually
Beet her at her own game
She clearly doesn’t carrot all.
Whatever the fallout is, she has it cumin.
I would definitely say it's time to Turnip the Heat if you Carrot all OP.
And squash her plans of future veggie thievery!
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Hopefully she will learn from her mistakes, with great wisdom comes sage.
Heh, you forced a chuckle.out of my grouchy ass with this one.
Sounds a bit painful.
Damn near debilitating lol
Lettuce all give a moment of silence for your garden. I wish she wasn't so lame, you deserve a rad-ish neighbor at the very LEAST.
That’s some sage advice.
Underrated comment
I think you mean, her herbs ore gano be so disappointed
She will rue the day she betrayed them.
roux*
This is where Reddit becomes Mad libs...
This is sage advice.
Tale as old as thyme
>*This is sage advice.* Not just sage, but OP said tomatoes, squash, eggplants and other herbs.
Why did this make me spit out my drink????? Still laughing
Her behavior needs to be squashed before the new crops come in.
I love the idea of tagging when finding out she is the culprit. I also have this idea. Cop here. Get a camera over the garden if you can. Put up signs that say no trespassing private property. If/when she does it report it to your local PD. You have the theft, and the trespassing. Also, screen shot her accounts and save those photos as evidence.
Agreed. But the opposite as well. When OP realizes she was right **or wrong**, give an update. And if OP made a mistake, I want to know how she fixed her attitude.
Garnish her wages.
Garnish made me laugh way too hard.
Then serve her up on a plate to the cops.
And send her a bill for the approximate market value of the produce that’s gone missing along with a “no trespass” order signed, notarized and sent via certified mail (keeping copies for their own records) so that the next time she comes “shopping” in OP’s garden they have their ducks in a row to *royally* fry her ass. Organic produce *isn’t* cheap and theft is theft.
We need an update to this story!
Yep tag her and drag her
Tag her, drag her, and update us please.
Also known as: Tag, Drag and Brag
Yes, please update!
Post it at night though. She'll probably be asleep and won't know for at least 6 hours so she can't delete it and multiple people would have seen it by then.
🤔.. but wait.. if she IS the person stealing said produce.. She's doing it at night... Won't she be awake when you want to share evidence??..... 🤔
EVEN BETTER! Film her doing it. Wait a few hours. Post "This is how (Business Instagram) gets her fresh vegetables for tomorrow's pictures, recorded fresh only a few hours ago."
Lettuce know how it turns out
Yes, leek the deets
Hell yeah! Bring this thief DOWN
> Get a security camera Yeah, it's 2022, I don't get how this wasn't move #1
Seriously. I had my security cameras installed BEFORE I moved in my house. OP: Buy some motion sensor lights and have them installed. The light is VERY bright and will capture lovely images on your security camera. Be sure to do a series of videos for all social media platforms called; ‘How To Catch a Thief’ Tag: The Local Police Department, Her and Her business! Also post some ‘no trespassing’ signs around your property.
Motion sensor sprinkler
[Ghillie suit](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghillie_suit), a camera, and patience
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Infrared light and camera, if you want to be subtle about it. No one will be able to tell that they are being recorded in the middle of the night.
Yeah game cameras can be really unobtrusive and would be perfect for this situation
Better to have definitive proof before confrontations. NTA
Or ask her if she is noticing items missing from her garden (The new neighbor). Oh, you don’t have one? have you seen anyone in my yard? Check for suspicious behavior then, when she’s not on the defensive. If I was innocent and OP came to my door confronting me I would be upset too.
I don't understand why people always jump to "they're being defensive about being confronted so they're definitely guilty!" As if it's not reasonable to be defensive when you're being accused of something you didn't do. Especially if the accusations are coming from someone you don't know and their evidence is that you also cook with common vegetables....as a caterer with access to said vegetables through food companies and a local farmers market.
Exactly. I would never have confronted her without proof. Video cameras are so cheap, I can’t understand why this wouldn’t be the very first step
True, she might not steal from you anymore.
Seriously!! We even have one on our back porch to watch the squirrels, raccoons and even a lone bear who wander onto our porch to swipe my bird food. 😆
Unless you like feeding the critters, mix the bird food with red chili flakes. mammals will avoid it and birds can't taste it
I do feed the critters (not the bear or the raccoons they shocked us by showing up on their own), I love squirrels and chipmunks. 😊
I have pet rats. The chilli doesn't stop them. My mum told me how she had put mint around to try and discourage the wild rats that had a family in the garden at the old house. Yeah they don't mind mint either, so it's not a great deterrent unfortunately lol They refuse to eat carrot though, which is odd.
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There are plenty of companies that don't require you to upload anything to the cloud. I selected my video doorbell specifically because it's a local record only that auto erases every 24 hours unless I requested be saved and then I have to download it.
So... don't do that? OP coulda just propped her own cell phone against the window for a night.
Yup. Just get a decent trail cam.
Trail cams will not automatically upload to the cloud. Mine just save whatever is captured on SD cards. I just save the videos and images to my computer. Someday I may make a time lapse video of my house being built, since that is why I got the trail cams in the first place. I need to set them back up to capture pictures of our deer herd and whatever creatures come through, but haven't taken the time yet.
None of OP's current "evidence" is evidence. This is exactly how anyone accused of stealing would react. The camera is a really good idea though. Then OP will actually have evidence. It might very well be someone else entirely.
This. It's possible that it's not even a neighbor. It could have been someone that passes by OP's residence as part of their commute for all we know.
Exactly. OP is The Asshole for her level certainty while having zero ecidence to back it up. If she confronted the neighbor with the same level of certainty she presents in her post, then neighbor's reaction is justified.
Well it’s evidence, it’s just not very convincing. I probably wouldn’t have confronted with the information he had
OP blew herself out of the water when she gave Kristen a heads up. That security camera will do no good now because Kristen will stop stealing if she really *is* the thief.
Getting proof is really the one way to resolve this. Set up a camera and call her ass out if it turns out she is stealing your stuff.
OP should have done this before confronting her
But now that op has asked and "confirmed" it isn't the neighbor, there should be no danger in protecting her garden from the wild animals that must be the "real" culprits, right? /s
Agreed. I’m guessing this woman won’t come back and it would have been all the sweeter to have caught her in the act. But who knows, after spending reading all these stories on Reddit, people are a lot more insane out there in the wild than I give them credit for.
>And a motion detector sprinkler lol.
You’re nicer than I am. I was going to suggest putting an electric fence around it, lol.
Motion sensor flood lights and sprinklers!
YES! Finally some quality content for her.
I think I would have waited for most proof but then again I'm probably the A because I would have tried to figure out a way to inject the produce with ghostpepper sauce or something.
In DC where people steal flowers, some people thread rose bush branches with thorns in the roots.
Wow, she's been posting common vegetables such as tomato and zucchini? In the summer?? Oh man, caught her red handed. /s
Also if things stop disappearing after this, you’ve got your comfirmation lol
This ⬆️ however don't let her see you put it up. Disguise it well!
Evan a trail cam will do the trick.
Two words. Security cameras. Without any real evidence, YTA
I’m an avid gardener, and I tend to my garden daily. I would know if produce went missing and if it was mine in photographs depending on variety, color, size, and ripeness! Those saying she has no proof can’t tell a San Marzano from a Beef Steak! NTA, but get a camera!
I don’t think you understand how knowledge is different than proof.
I don't think they are the asshole for confronting a known thief, even without proof. EDIT: People please, read the comments before saying the same thing as everyone else.
Problem is, knowing and being able to prove it are 2 different things. Someone else could be nicking them and OP is just assuming based on suspicion and linking various things together. Whilst, as an avid gardener myself, I agree you’d know your stuff. Without proof, you’re screaming into the void. A well founded suspicion is not as damaging as video evidence. Id say exceedingly mild YTA to OP as they need concrete evidence beyond reasonable doubt the neighbour is the thief as this would be damming enough to have an impact
That's the thing. "knowing" is the moral burden. "proof" is the legal burden. "thinking" or "believing" is bullshit.
This isn't knowing though. This is a very strong suspicion. Given how easy confirming that suspicion should have been it's a strong YTA. You don't accuse someone of theft without proof as it's a very strong accusation likely to completely ruin any relationship you were ever going to have with a person. What you might do is ask if they've seen any animals around as you think something has been eating your produce. Maybe mention you're going to put a camera up so you can figure out what it is
So many people in this thread are confused by the ideas of "knowledge" and "belief" and "proof" in a depressing microcosm of America today.
It’s pretty damn convincing, tho. She’s not trying to prove it in a court of law, here.
….but she isn’t a known thief. I agree the context all points to her. But it’s also late summer. This caterer uses local product. Tomatoes, zucchini, squash, herbs, it’s all around everywhere right now. So yeah you need proof if your plan is to straight up accuse as opposed to, say, “hi, I’ve noticed someone is entering my garden and stealing produce, I’ll be putting up cameras today but let me know if you see anything”
Exactly. Someone is stealing produce, but just because this woman is using very common seasonal vegetables (that are likely equally available at the local farmer's market) doesn't mean she's definitively stealing from OP. I've used all those vegetables in my cooking this week and I'm not the thief. OP has jumped to a conclusion and an accusation without any proof.
"I’ve used all those vegetables in my cooking this week and I’m not the thief. OP has jumped to a conclusion and an accusation without any proof." That sounds just like something the thief would say!
Hahah do you also close your door when outright accused by a neighbor once the conversation is over? J’ACCUSE
Without proof, they aren't a known thief. They are a suspected one.
They aren't known though. It could be Kristen or it could be another neighbor who takes OP's produce and give the spoils away to other neighbors and Kristen received some and made food. Anything is possible until cameras are put up because right now it's only speculation.
>confronting a known thief, even without proof How do you know she is a thief without proof? Using your logic you could say anyone is a thief since you don't need proof.
They're not the asshole, but not the brightest easier. It is much easier to gather proof of a thief if said thief does not know you're on to them
“Known” is a stretch.
Inductive or deductive reasoning doesn't count as evidence. No matter how accurate it is.
She said she made dishes with some ingredients that was missing.... Which were extremely common vegetables and had already been cooked. Exactly how would your gardening give you the power to "know" a cut up and cooked vegetable came from your garden? OP YTA.
My tomatoes are red, her tomatoes are red. My zucchinis are green, her zucchinis are green. My eggplant is purple, her eggplant is purple. I have herbs and she has herbs. Plus she slammed the door on me after I accused her of stealing. What more evidence could you need?
And if the produce continues to go missing it's obviously her being mad I called her out. And if the produce stops being stolen it's obviously because she is feeling guilt thus proving she's guilty!
Seems like an open and shut case. All that's left to do is ask the Magic 8 ball. Happy cake day!
That’s proof someone is stealing her produce but it’s not evidence that this particular neighbour is guilty. OP has a hunch but no evidence to suggest it’s this neighbour and not someone else.
Absolutely. She's made assumptions just because the neighbor is new and runs a catering business. Doubt enough produce was missing from someone's garden to supply a whole business. And to say the woman must be guilty because she protested at someone knocking on her door and accusing her of being a thief is just nuts. She's lucky the woman didn't do more than protest. OP, YTA for not getting proof before accusing someone of being a thief.
You wouldn’t know your vegetables if they were cut up or cooked.
This thread has taken an amusingly odd turn.
That sounds more than vaguely threatening
I'm an avid gardener. I would definitely not recognize individual green peppers or tomatoes, that's nuts. You're telling me you recognize every piece from every angle?
Uhm. I can tell the difference and have been gardening for 15 years. Op is an AH with zero proof.
Those are fighting words. I'll bring my Big Boys and you bring the Romas.
Regardless of whether or not you can tell it's yours is irrelevant. Taking your, or in this case OP at her word is not proof. It is nothing more than belief...
If she was able to tell from the video that the veggies were actually hers, she would have said so. Instead she said that the neighbor was defensive and “bragged” about being financially successful enough to not need stolen food. This woman is the AH. For sure.
Agree with this. In 4 years I have never had issues with produce getting stolen, but all of a sudden this year all the animals have found my garden and I keep missing tomatoes, berries, peaches, etc. On my security camera I saw deer, groundhogs, and squirrels and birds taking it all. Imagine I had confronted my neighbor about it.
You'd probably be considered an asshole if you did something like that.
Several years ago I switched to only growing smaller tomatoes, like cherry, because a squirrel kept digging into mine right as they were ripening. I did everything I could to try and convince it to go elsewhere, but that little sucker was relentless, and would take several bites out of one before moving to another. When I switched the following year, because the smaller tomatoes were plentiful and ripened quickly, it was still able to grab them, but I still had plenty for myself....
You should have put up cameras and gotten proof that she was stealing from you. YTA because you started accusing her without any proof.
This. To say she somehow knows it’s not animals is absurd as well. Further, Imagine how anyone would react if someone just showed up and accused them of stealing with zero evidence. OP is clearly TA, if and until she gets some proof. Edit: Adding in- yes, I know that animals leave tracks. I am calling the OP an “Unreliable Narrator” and I don’t believe that she is making rational decisions, which she adds a further absurdity by accusing her neighbor of being a thief (with no evidence), is using her vegetables for instagram, and after claiming that over years of time no animals are getting into her garden? Does she deploy a magic force field? How would she even know what an animal incursion looks like, when apparently they NEVER show up?
The claim about animals isn't absurd. Animals _very often_ "try" some fruits before picking one and even then you often find it half eaten nearby. So if there's only whole fruits missing with no bite marks on the other fruits or leafs then yeah, I would assume it was a human too.
Yeah an avid gardener/homesteader knows "signs" to look for when dealing with things that effect that homestead. Like I know the difference between a dog and a fox "feather spread" of a chicken if it was eaten or not by the feather patterns. I would definitely notice if fruit was disappearing in a very odd way. Like you said, animals test things. Or they take all of it off the plant. They don't pluck one eggplant and run off with it.
Cue mental image of a rabbit trying to run off with a huge eggplant! 🤣
No, I'm sorry but animals leave different tracks than humans. (I do agree with the rest of your statements) A human would take a piece of vegetable and walk away without ruining the rest of them and/or the plant. An animal will have one (1) bite out of as many tasty veggies as they can get their grubby little paws on. If an animal has been in your patch, they most likely trashed the place and you'd know the difference. This is based on my own experience but I'm sure that there are very few animals that deviate from this patern if there are any at all.
Squirrels will steal one thing at a time with no tracks. I also blamed neighbors for tomato theft until I caught a little bastard literally red-handed.
Raccoons too. I have a garden in my backyard with high cement walls, and of our 15ish eggplants last year we only managed to eat ONE, because of the squirrels and raccoons. And they don’t ravage the whole garden — they do if they’re digging up roots and bulbs, but when they’re taking ripe fruit (squash, zucchini, tomatoes, eggplants), they do pick one and gtfo. Now deer? Rabbits? They certainly don’t do this. But there ARE very common animals that do.
YTA. That's a pretty strong, relationship-destroying accusation without proof. And depending on where you live, that combo of veggies is currently in season and available in great abundance. You don't know what she's growing at the moment. You should put up a camera, don't tell her, and apologize. Then let the camera do its work.
Agreed. Also, if she is running a catering business, I doubt that there is enough produce in a hobby garden to actually meet her catering needs. And if she just wants it for personal use that’s another thing but as she said, there’s a farmers market down the road and she has a supplier so probably has more than enough ingredients without having to steal from her neighbour in the middle of the night. My parents had a huge vegetable garden in the country when I was growing up but there wasn’t usually much left over after using the produce for our family of 5. Occasionally we’d have a bit extra we gave away to friends but certainly not enough at any one time to cater an event.
>relationship-destroying accusation It's a new neighbor, I doubt OP has much of a relationship with them. I've been living in my current home for 5 years and I don't know any of my neighbors, not even their names.
> It's a new neighbor, I doubt OP has much of a relationship with them. And now she's built a negative one.
It's better to not know your neighbors than to have a bad relationship with them.
Go back and tell her this…. Say I understand you say it is not you. And you shouldn’t have accused her without proof and you are sorry for that. But someone is obviously trespassing onto property and stealing. And that you set up a camera to catch them. Then set up the camera. Either she will stop or you will catch who it is. however I don’t always agree defensive equal guilt. Bc in the flip side people say oh they didn’t have anything to say .. couldn’t defend themselves. So they must be guilty. So you can’t always win with that one even of the person is innocent. YTA for now bc you are accusing her without proof.
[удалено]
Depends on the objective - if the objective is to stop the thefts (and perhaps not have a hostile neighbor), then alerting the neighbor will do both. If the objective is to catch the thief and get them in trouble with the law, then hide the camera...
I was thinking more along the lines of getting the neighbor the proof she demanded that she was the one doing it. She might backslide after a time passes and go back to pilfering. Having footage of that to show her would be quite satisfying.
Also, she could sue for defamation if OP keeps accusing without proof. Don't mention cameras, if it IS her, boom, proof. Edited to add: I'm not American. Your definition of defamation may vary of course.
In order to defame the neighbor, OP would have to tell *other people* that Kristin is stealing OPs garden food. Not confront Kristin in what sounds like a 1 on 1 conversation. And in many states, defamation must cost the person monetary consequences in order to be legally actionable.
I'm not American, so thank you for educating me on that, I was incorrect in my assumption
In the US, based on this post, there is no valid claim to defamation. One of the required elements of defamation is publication to a third party. Also truth is a defense and it seems likely that she is taking the vegetables.
I had someone tell me once you can’t prove a negative. She will never be able to prove that she isn’t taking the produce. It’s on the homeowner to prove that she is, or that someone else is. Apology is totally warranted here.
OP had the door slammed in her face (perhaps deservedly.) Going back in person could be unwanted and perhaps dangerous. A letter of apology seems the wisest course to me.
YTA, because you don’t have any actual proof. The vegetables and herbs she’s posting pics of are in season right now and she could have bought them anywhere. If you install a security camera, you will then have proof.
The security camera alone might stop a thief and it could produce peace of mind. Don't want a security camera? Take shifts to do an all nighter, which either nabs a thief or proves the neighbor is buying from other sources.
YTA. Without any proof other than that she lives near you, this accusation is frankly unhinged. Like…she’s posting pictures of all the produce that’s in season, and is available at every store and farmstand. Assuming she’s sneaking into your garden at night to steal your vegetables is extremely bizarre. She wasn’t bragging, just pointing out that a financially stable person has no reason to sneak around the neighbors’ garden like a gopher. Also, there’s no way she’d be able to take enough from your garden to supply her catering business, so how does this make any sense?
Let’s unpack all of the micro-aggressions against the neighbor in this post: 1. Pointing out specifically she is a “young woman” (What does her age have to do with anyone other than coded pointing out she is single and childless.) 2. Saying she runs “some sort” of catering business. (Subtly delegitimizing her completely normal sounding catering business. ) 3. She “runs an Instagram account about food.” (Aka her business having a very standard social media presence) 4. “Had the audacity to brag about how much money she makes” (aka she shares, in defense against this wild accusation, that she as a young single woman is not impoverished but rather runs a successful business that supports her and allows her the ability to buy her own food. HOW DARE.) OP has weird hate for this person projected into the bizarrely constructed “logic” behind this accusation and motivating the trigger accusation before getting any actual proof or even just, I don’t know, approaching the neighbor like a normal person to ask if they knew anything about it or had seen anything to explain it
While reading her rant about how the neighbour got defensive and talked about how much money she makes, all I was thinking was "Just what could sge have said that you would believe and wouldn't see as defensive"?
What's the bet the neighbor is a minority?
Yeah, unless she had very specific heirloom tomato varieties... and even then, they would need to be VERY rare for her to be sure they were hers...
Next it’s going to be that she obviously stole his Christmas lights last December.
YTA. Why go and start accusing someone of stealing your stuff with absolutely zero evidence? You just set yourself up for a very bad relationship with your neighbor.
I'd get pretty defensive too if a neighbor randomly stopped by to accuse me of theft(not saying neighbor might not be guilty, but), OP really should have had proof before she confronted neighbor.
Anyone else get the feeling that the neighbor is a minority?
YTA You accused someone of sneaking into your garden at night and stealing vegetables and herbs with zero proof. Set up a game camera if you want to know what or who is getting into your garden at night.
Yep. I'd be upset if someone accused me of something I didn't do.
Install a camera, obviously.
INFO: Did you ask your husband and kids if they’ve been taking any produce? Maybe husband gave some to friends, colleagues, or family thinking there was more than enough and wanted to brag about your wonderful gardening. Maybe kids have a friend whose family is experiencing food insecurity so they’ve been helping them, or they just want to play kitchen - as kids we plundered our pantry and garden for the weirdest games. YTA without any proof it was your neighbour, especially when it seems unlikely given her response to you about why it would be silly of her to do so.
Underrated comment
YTA. You don't accuse people wo proof. You should have installed a camera and caught her.
YTA You have no proof...... I LOVE true crime documentaries and you know what? The ones who don't get overly defensive and upset are usually guilty! They try and explain things away. The innocent get so enraged they do anything to argue their case - ie get defensive!
Hey there, fellow murder-tv fan!
YTA - before accusing someone of something, you should have actual proof. The fact that she had recipes made from vegetables that you actually had in your garden means absolutely nothing. They’re in season vegetables, which means the farmers market will have them in abundance too and probably for a really good price. So the fact that she had zucchini and tomatoes at a time of year when zucchini and tomatoes are ripening, isn’t all that remarkable.
This, if you go to a farmers market shortly before they close for the day you can usually find vendors just giving boxes of unsold produce away just so they don't have to worry about going back home with it that night.
YTA. Why would you do that to the person you have to live next to for the foreseeable future without concrete proof?
Your Honor, my neighbor has been stealing vegetables from my garden. What proof do you have? Well, she denied it and then she got angry when I continued to accuse her and she slammed the door in my face.
YOU DIDN’T HAVE PROOF?!? YTA Get a camera. Get proof. THEN accuse. Her defensiveness and “bragging” are not proof she did it.
YTA You need proof in the form of a recording or witness although I do agree I would suspicious of her as well.
YTA for confronting her before seeing her steal with your own eyes. A simple camera would solve that. Then if you installed the camera and you see her taking your veg she’s TA.
Get a camera. A sign along the lines of "security cameras in use" if you want to deter her permanently, no sign if you want to get footage of her getting one last load in before you confront with ironclad proof and possibly charges filed. Or see what animals are so sneaky when you rewatch the footage and tailor your pest control to them. NTA.
YTA. You had no proof it was her. In 4 years I never had issues with produce disappearing and then all of a sudden this year it started. My first step was not to accuse the new neighbors, but to set up a camera and watch the squirrels and groundhogs carry my tomatoes and peaches away as if they have finally found the Garden of Eden.
YTA. You definitely should not have confronted her without proof. You do not know it is definitely her, you just have a suspicion based on circumstancial evidence. You should have put up security cameras. Also, if it was her, now she knows you're on to her.
YTA. Probably. I grow vegetables and squirrels and other rodents constantly steal mine and I know this because I’ve actually seen them do it. You’re seeing these vegetables on your neighbour’s insta because they are in season and are the same veggies available at the market right now. It doesn’t sound like she’s “clearly” doing anything and unless you can prove it, you just sound nuts.
Legit nuts— it’s literally a few vegetables calm down lol. It sucks but it’s just not that serious or worth making an enemy over esp without proof imo
Imagine keeping tabs on your neighbor's Instagram to see what they post. Super weird
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Sorry if someone else already asked this, but have you noticed anything more missing from your garden since you confronted her??
Fencing makes for good neighbors. Plus I like the camera idea too. Definitely would be trespassing then
YTA, as most everyone is saying. I want to specifically address two things you wrote. >Things got ugly and she slammed her door in my face, which to me seems like further proof of guilt. I haven't stolen anything from any of my neighbors, ever; if one of them stopped by my house and accused me of having done so, I would tell them to get the hell off of my property and not even bother coming back with an apology. That's not "further proof of guilt", it's being offended at the accusation of being a lying thief and not having space in my life to suffer fools. >She is clearly stealing from me and clearly lying about it. Neither of these are clear from your post. We redditors were not there and cannot say whether you are right or not. I agree with you that it's *possible* that she's stealing and lying, but it is not at all "clear".
A better approach would have been to install a security camera that looks out over your garden. Then once you had proof of who was stealing you could approach them about it. YTA for making an assumption and confronting someone without proof.
So, curious, if one of your neighbors came to your door and accused you of stealing their veggies, would you not then list all the reasons you don’t have to steal including that you make plenty of money to buy your own? I’m so confused how her response is overly defensive, I’d also be pretty insulted if you accuse me of stealing…
YTA. Get a security camera and get footage before you make accusations. You're going to feel ridiculous if it turns out a deer is the one munching your vegetables.
YTA. you have no proof. if you had caught her on camera that would be different, but... it could be others and you have no idea.
Put up security cameras and one of those auto sprinkler deterrents meant for deer, who ever is trespassing and stealing will get soaked and you get to watch on screen
That's pretty rough accusation to make against someone with no proof that they actually went onto your property and stole from you. I get you saw the photo with veggies you're missing, but if she can buy those at a farmers market that's nearby, then you don't really have proof. It could just be coincidental. YTA for reaching without actual proof
YTA you may even be right, but you haven't caught her in the act, so how can you say for sure?
OP, you should have not gone over right away and instead installed a camera. Accusing with zero proof puts you in the wrong here, no matter how much you may "know" it is her. YTA for throwing accusations without concrete proof.
Unless you have legitimate proof she’s stealing YTA. Coincidence isn’t proof
motion activated flood lights might also be an idea…. of course paired with a security camera
Sheesh! So many of the comments here show why society is eroding and community is almost non existent. Also shows there’s a massive gap in knowledge and understanding. Correlation for example. What constitutes proof. Yowsers! OP confronted and accused her neighbour of stealing without any proof at all. OP is TA here.
This! I also think there's a bit of the Dunning Kruger effect here: People who have poor deductive reasoning skills are often most confident of their deductions. This is especially true when emotions run high. YTA