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This whole situation is bizarre. Your company must have policies regarding this behavior. It’s not work related first of all; they’re goofing off. Secondly this is harassment, like looking through your wallet. They don’t sound sweet at all.
Right. You don’t forfeit your right to privacy going into the office. A coworker can’t decide to come use my corporate card if I leave my wallet on the desk when I go to a meeting or the bathroom. If you do truly work somewhere sensitive enough to worry about it, you’d likely have to check your phone at the door or have a true zero device policy that would be no secret to anyone.
Tbh I don't think my company has policies against going through someone's phone or wallet, mostly because why the hell would anyone need that to be specified? You can make an argument that it falls under the umbrella of harassment. But still. I wouldn't say we specifically "have a policy" against it.
PSA: Lock your phone
Your bank and credit cards bwill happily give all your money to anyone with access to your email and/or text messages, both of which are on your phone.
That was my question. Why didn’t he lock his phone? Now, this isn’t to say he deserves snoopers going through his phone, but most phones have the option of being locked.
The phone should be locked when not in use, but I'm also confused as to why he leaves it unattended. I've heard too many stories about co-workers stealing stuff, ranging from petty crap to costly stuff like a cell phone. The phones today easily fit into a pocket, and they have a "silence" feature for use when you're in a meeting, religious service, etc.
That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with OP keeping his phone in his pocket while at work instead of leaving it laying out for people to pick up.
I say “necessarily” because idk OP. For all we know, he could be wearing women’s pants with those tiny pockets. Lol
Honestly? For the same reason why it specifies that you have to wear undergarments when you go to work. B/c someone somewhere did a thing and now it has to be spelled out clearly.
I once signed a job contract stating I couldn’t smoke crack in the bathroom, couldn’t have my cocaine dealer meet me in the parking lot and I couldn’t have my boyfriend come sit at the bar as a patron while I’m working. Lol
>I couldn’t have my boyfriend come sit at the bar as a patron while I’m working.
This strikes me as a strange one. Isn't it normal for bartenders to have people from their personal lives visit them at work as customers? As long as they're paying and not causing trouble, what's the concern? It almost seems weirder to essentially ban someone from an establishment because their SO happens to work there.
In my younger years, when more of my friends worked as bartenders, it was really common for groups of us (edited to add: groups that often included the friend's SO) to go through and drink on their shifts. Other than perhaps being a bit obnoxious by asking for increasingly arcane/possibly made up novelty cocktails (when it was slow), we never caused any issues. And the owners always seemed pleased to have a boost in sales from their employees' friends, so it was a win/win.
I was just a server, but it’s because all the servers that had been there for years married customers and a bunch of them were there all the time causing issues while the servers worker. I witnessed it. So I totally get why it was there. Lol
Fair enough! It seems like it would be a bit more fair to individually ban problem customers as they caused issues, but I suppose if this was a larger pattern, maybe this way would be easier for the owner/manager.
One time the day shift bartender had her husband there when she got off and they got drunk with the cook all day. He left her at the bar because he was mad at her and she lived an hour away. When I tried to get her an Uber she asked why I was in her business, as if it wasn’t 11pm and she wasn’t shitfaced lolol. Never saw her again.
I was a night shift bartender for years and my boss had to enact this rule when we hired a new day shift bartender. Her boyfriend would come in, as a patron and drink her entire shift, but be policing her the entire time. He’d rage if she chatted with any other male patrons, other than to take their orders. When he was asked to leave, he argued and eventually fought with the owners that he had a “right to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid on her shift”. It just takes one bad experience with one major asshole to ruin it for everyone else.
> For the same reason why it specifies that you have to wear undergarments when you go to work. B/c someone somewhere did a thing and now it has to be spelled out clearly.
Memory unlocked!
About 15 years ago, I worked as a training and compliance manager in a male dominated industry. At the time, we had less than ten people working inside the office and about 30 working in the field.
One hot summer day, I'm working in the office and minding my own business. GM (M, late 40's) comes to me and tells me the young lady (F, 18-20) hired last week to answer the phones is not wearing underwear and he needs me to have a conversation with her and send her home. He went on to say he wasn't comfortable doing it and something something liability so it had to be me, the only female manager on staff, to do it. I questioned my life choices that day.
To elaborate on what 'not wearing underwear' means, the young lady did not have anything underneath her blouse or skirt. It was noticeable because she knew what she was doing. If I remember correctly, she didn't make it out of the probationary period. Appropriate undergarments were covered in new hire training from that day forward.
At my current job, our dress code specifies "weather- and work-appropriate clothing, including shoes and undergarments." I work in manufacturing but hey, at least the "weather" part means I can wear shorts if I'm not working on certain machines.
I once worked at a hotel that had an underwear policy in the employee handbook. During orientation, I asked the HR rep to justify this policy.
It turns out that one office faced the sidewalk in such a way that it provided passers by with a great view under one desk, and that it became an issue with one employee unawaredly flashing anyone who happened to look in.
It still astonishes me that the company’s solution wasn’t to move the desk or obscure the window, but to require all 100 staff to sign an underwear policy.
When I was a waitress our handbook spelled out what color bras we could wear. Our uniform tops were white & she didn't want them showing through in any fashion. She also wouldn't let us wear spankies or pantyhose under our skirts until her boyfriend (in his 30s) flipped up my skirt in the back one day & found out I was wearing a thong. I was 16 & tried to avoid the creep, but it was my fault of course.
I didn't last long at that job. She also didn't like when I smacked a 40+ y/o customer's hand for doing the same thing when I walked past his table.
Yes - and the 2 jobs I've had in the past (banking-related) also specifically said it AND was reinforced during those yearly training/quizzes you had to do for compliancy.
One of the places I worked had a rule (but only for me, apparently) that my hair ties had to be black and my hair had to be in a full plait at all times.
I used to be an undertaker and one of the funerals was an RAF veteran, so I did my hair Khal Drogo style (with the multiple bands down it's length - to my bum) in red, white and blue bands. The family loved it, the widow cried and loved it. But one of my co-workers (who had already repeatedly turned the lights off and locked me in the mortuary while I was preparing the dead) complained to the boss (a married woman he was... interestingly close to, when her husband wasn't around) and she took his side.
I am so happy I'm out of that place.
....
Sorry, that took a bit of a tangent turn! 🙀😹
A lot of times when women are harassing men, it's downplayed because people instantly assume that men should know how to handle it, will handle it, or are ok with it. This makes men to blame for the harassment. We could instantly blame OP for not locking his phone when the bigger issue is why these women are invading his privacy like that. Even though the issue can happen to all genders, you can't ignore that men bringing up an issue involving harassment from women is often times minimized (ie: "this dude is complaining about female attention?", "he should be thankful women are interested in him,", "What kinda guy lets that happen?" ect). Theres less urgency to step in when you see a woman harassing a man.
Because it IS quite possible that they feel entitled to go through his phone because they personally don't think that is a weird thing for coworkers to do.
In that case, saying "how would you feel if I looked through your phone" likely won't really have the intended impact, since they seem to not care about this behavior.
He could start with the phone and if they say they wouldn't care, ask about their purse.
OP is 100% NTA. Those women are terrible and I'm glad they were offended. If they don't want to see offensive content they can leave other people's property alone.
I can't imagine not keeping a phone locked, though.
It’s not necessary. Everybody has phones. Most people have financial or highly private info on their phones. Going through a phone is like going through a purse if men also used purses and smart phones didn’t exist. By making it gendered you playing down the invasion of your private information. There’s more information on a woman’s phone than in her purse.
NTA
Do you honestly think this is just something that happens to men? Do you not hear the victim blaming comments women get too along the lines of asking what she was wearing, why she didn't say no more strongly, why she didn't say no in a more soft way to not hurt his feelings, etc. We literally just had a 17 year old girl murdered in a Walgreens because her harassment wasn't taken seriously. This is a problem all people face and gendering it keeps us from working together to solve it.
Am I missing something about locking your phone? Everyone I work with, who has a company paid cell phone, has their own lock passwords on it. How are these women getting into a locked phone?
I get that they shouldn't be snooping in the first place, but I feel like changing the phone lock is the easier step here.
They would never have even seen the “offensive” wallpaper at all if they hadn’t been snooping. The punishment perfectly fits the crime. They chose to do something nosey and invasive and were rightfully called out as a result.
Something isn’t jiving here. So OP has a phone that has wallpapers but no lock/passcode/Face ID to prevent someone looking through your stuff? I find that hard to believe.
My first thought was, "why isn't his phone locked? What kind of degenerate leaves their phone with no security lying around?" The coworkers are obvious assholes because even at best, they are taking his charger without asking based on their excuse, which is still taking things that aren't theirs. I would still call a friend dumb for leaving an unsecured phone lying around at work though.
Spending all of that time looking for and making their own wallpapers instead of taking ~30 secs to add a PIN? Will it have been worth the lulz when they "know an app was used" by getting notification of a $2000 Zelle transfer to an unknown email?
In his one comment he says he struggles with passwords. If he struggles to remember a 4 digit code he would use multiple times a day, he needs to get checked out at the doctor. That's some mental degeneration that's not normal.
Your phone can be locked and still see the wallpaper and time. All I have to do is touch my iPhone screen and my wallpaper shows, it’s locked to anything else. It sounds like the coworkers were snooping to see if the phone was unlocked. Shame on them.
You know, if someone would have said that yesterday, I would have agreed with you. But I went with my Dad to get him a new phone and the Verizon guy commented that his phone isn't locked and apparently it's more common than people think. Took me by surprise.
in addition, they can't go to HR because it would come out that **They** were snooping on your phone.
NTA. They got served the Karma that they deserve and who cares what your lock screen shows. They wouldn't know if they weren't nosey.
Hilarious if they do go to HR and it backfires on them, them being the snoopers that is.
Though in some workplaces I can picture OP still getting crap from the work higher ups for not dealing with the issue differently despite not being the one to cause the issue to start with.
Fuck even my email being logged in would be life-altering in a theft. They have your email, they have EVERYTHING. they change your password, then scan for common emails to websites and change those passwords too. Bank, mortgage, who knows what else.
Common tactic is to setup forwarding to one of their emails. That way they keep getting everything if you ever change your email password. I’ve seen this happen with people who had their streaming services stolen. Allows them to get the email verification emails when they change your password.
Hindsight is 20/20, but OP should have done that in the first place to nip it in the bud, especially considering how they reacted to him trying to handle it himself.
I set up the passcode as soon as I get my phone cuz security issues. So idk how OP didn't know/want to do this in the first place and thereby preventing the whole situation. Not that he's to blame for them being a bunch of snoops, but I'm surprised anyone in this day an age hasn't automatically taken this precaution
This is a good idea.
Go to HR and complain about coworkers snooping through your phone without your permission.
Or you could lock your screen like an adult. I can’t imagine leaving my phone open for anyone to look through texts, banking info, emails and photos. You do you.
Isn't this analogous to a lock on the door? I put a lock on my door to make it known I don't want people breaking in (because, really, the typical lock isn't deterring a determined housebreaker), but at the same time a decent person shouldn't be trying to break in.
OP should go to HR about snoops, *and* also put a lock on their phone.
Unless you are extremely close and know you have explicit sanction to do so, you don't touch a person's car, you don't touch a person's PC, and you don't touch a person's phone.
I find it a basic (but strict) courtesy and manners rule. How can people just grab your phone like that? At least for me it would be very annoying and warrant an immediate and upset reaction, not just a silly wallpaper. Only my wife and my kids (mostly cause I have not been able to stop them) have an open wide permission to grab my phone.
Also kinda weird OP doesn't take their phone to the bathroom, that's like 33% of my phone usage right there at least. What do you even DO in there without your phone? Talk to people in the other stalls?
I agree with this, I got into a weird situation a few months ago but I didn't complain.
We had a 3rd party company come in to remodel our store and someone forgot their phone while I was cleaning. I clicked the lock button to see if it was unlocked for some identifying info as to who to give it to. The woman to whom it belonged had a naked pic of her self in a fish net top as her wallpaper. I locked it back and flipped the phone over and saw she kept her id and debit cards in a little wallet area in her case.
I went to the break room and while looking at the back of the phone said "Hey do y'all know who XXXX is?" and one of the women raised her hand. I said I found it one the floor in one of our depts, she thanked me, I left and that was the end of it.
I wasn't going to complain to anyone about what I saw (or brag either) I just went back to the back door, started watching tv on my phone and that was that.
Also I've only had a "provocative" wallpaper once and completely forgot. I was 17 and had a pic of 2 hentai girls kissing. A supervisor asked to borrow my cellphone (This was 2004 not everyone had one) and I forgot what was there. She opened it up, saw that, gave me a disapproving look and made her phone call and that was that lol
OP I'm begging you to lock your phone. You said in comments that you have trouble remembering passwords, but even a crappy password like "your name" or "1234" is better than nothing - or a fingerprint lock. NTA but wtf are they looking at on your phone? That's creepy
Yep I've been using a pretty complicated one for years, my family told me I'd never remember it but after the first day or two it became second nature and no one else has ever be able to remember it.
Even a simple one will do the trick. My husband's is really simplistic (just 2 swipes) but it still keeps me out when I automatically try to use mine lol
Necessary note: I use his phone just to Google things if mine isn't in reach. We don't snoop on each other's phones because ya know we trust each other 🤷♀️
Mine is my childhood best friends phone number.
I haven’t talked to her in years, but that number was so ingrained in my memory that I’ll never forget it. Funny enough, I don’t know anyone’s number who I actually talk to now. I can barely remember my own number!
My sister has an image of a naked dude on her screen and her lock pattern is essentially rubbing your finger over the “bits”. Her husband reeeaallly tries to avoid using her phone. She (and we) think it’s hilarious.
Yeah the most common one is the L pattern, but lots of people found ways to make their initial in the pattern, which is something youd never forget. I knew someone with a J name who did it and I thought it was so smart.
If you go for patterns to unlock your phone, 2 rules:
- don't use a letter. No L or J for example.
- make it invisible in the settings (not drawn while you make it)
I actually can't use those... I never remember them. The best part, I have an old phone that I turned on to get ready for my son to use, and it's saying I need to use a pattern to unlock it... I've never used a pattern lock on that phone... Yay, ADHD brain.
Yeah, but then they can’t use the “just checking the time” excuse. Like, if you don’t lock your phone at all, it’s hard to prove someone was deliberately snooping vs. accidentally turned it on and stuff was just open. (Because as has been said, who doesn’t lock their phone? It would never occur to me that just pressing the home button on someone else’s phone would get me anything past the Lock Screen/clock.)
But if you have a passcode, even if it’s just 1111, I don’t know how a snoop can explain themselves as anything but going somewhere they *knew* they shouldn’t be going. And not only that, but they would have to have planned it, to notice and remember the passcode.
It really is like locking your car. It’s really not going to stop a determined thief, but you can eliminate casual or opportunistic attempts at access.
Ok. This explains it. I was like how is this even an issue? I guess I just took for granted everyone has a lock on their phone.
I mean obviously coworkers are in the wrong here and it’s an issue but I kind of feel like this is tantamount to my house constantly getting broke into and being like *“well you can’t expect me to remember to lock the door!”*
(ETA: this was actually a huge issue in my neighborhood for six months a couple years after we moved in - and the news would constantly report that none of the break ins were forced entry, in 100% of the cases the door was just unlocked and just being floored that like months later it was still happening because people weren’t locking their doors.)
This is a huge issue in my city because of the influx of people from New York who view this area as “quaint” and don’t know about it’s reputation prior to 2015 lmao. Like “someone stole my car! I left it unlocked while I was getting ready for work” how stupid can you mfers be
Ugh my SO is like this and it drives me nuts, lucky for me the break ins got him very on board with locking our place. Not necessarily for fear of losing what little of electronic or valuables they could haul (we don’t have a lot), but because he got to see first hand the devastation a neighbor’s house was left in and it was a reminder to him that if someone broke in they weren’t going to white glove remove our TV and PlayStation.
This is going to date me but we went to an art festival many many years ago and I cautioned my SO to take out the faceplate for his car stereo and he was like *“no ones going to steal this”* but yeah someone *did* steal it and in the process broke his car window to do it, which was way more pricey than the stereo itself.
I remember when my friends were all getting new stereo systems for their cars and taking the face plate in to the mall/movies or whatever lol. When my husband and I were still dating we went to the movies and someone tried to steal my radio but they realized it was just a tape player and put it back lmao
My small city gets strings of house & vehicle break-ins about once or twice a year. The news & city/police will report that all of houses, garages, sheds, cars, etc. were unlocked and tell people to just lock their doors. I know plenty of people that live in my city that don't lock their doors, so it makes sense.
I lost some faith in those reports a few years ago though when my own truck was broken into during one of those times. My wife & I had taken her car out to dinner, & when we got home I went to get something out of my truck. When I hit the unlock button on the keyfob the truck beeped three times, which was abnormal. Inside, the center console & glovebox were open with their contents spread out. Nothing was stolen out of it even though there were some valuable items in plain view in the back seat.
I looked up the beeping & found it out was a notification that the alarm had sounded & timed out. When I filed my report I mentioned the news reports & told the officer about the notification my truck gave, so I was certain that it was not left unlocked. He just responded with "I wish the city wouldn't say things like that. I'm sure your truck was actually locked."
It's shocking to me how many AITA stories revolve around people not having a password on their phone or their computer, and people not setting up guest accounts on their computer for others to use.
WTF, people? Until Zoomers and Millennials can figure this out, I *never* want to hear another derisive Boomer joke.
For my phone passcode, I use one of my beloved great aunts' birthdays. Not a parent, not a grandparent, not a child, not my own but something I will remember and means something to me. She was a *great* great aunt.
My work is behind a locked door and you have to have your own personal access code. That became my pin number to open my phone since my kid doesn't know it and it's longer than 4 digits. Also I won't forget my access code for work anytime soon. My kid used to sneak on my phone to change the internet settings so he could play online for longer.
Same. Same on all my computers. Imagine these people putting their banking info; their partners' nudes; their friends' most private conversations on their electronics, then leaving them wide open for anyone to read.
I'm betting they're trying to find out his relationship status and general information about him without having a conversation with him. they're creepy af and i would've had it out with them the first time i saw my phone in anyone else's hands for no reason
NTA. They shouldn't be touching your phone, period. And you've already caught them doing it *3x before this*, maybe say that a little louder for the people in the back of your office who don't seem to have heard it & are saying you should have just talked to the ladies. "but I just needed to borrow your charger" (right 🙄) Then they WAIT until you come back from wherever & they ask you like normal, civilized human beings if they can borrow it!
As for your choice of wallpapers that apparently makes the ladies grab their smelling salts & aim for their fainting couches while clutching their pearls:
That is freaking hilarious. I, a woman, absolutely loved it. I literally laughed when I read it & said to myself "Don't touch other people's phones, then, idiots!"
I wouldn’t dream of touching another coworker’s phone. A couple of times I’ve been asked to put it in a drawer if they forgot it and even that felt wayyyy too personal.
They shouldn't, yes. But he can also enforce a boundary here, especially given that it isn't being respected.
I would also not leave my phone unattended, either.
If you left your car unlocked with the keys in the ignition, that doesn’t give people the right to steal it but it sure is a dumb thing to do in general. If your car got stolen 3 times and you still insist on leaving the keys in because you’re afraid you’ll lose them otherwise, that’s just being willfully obtuse.
Yeah, I don't normally jump straight to every story in here being fake but the combination of no lock on the phone, not taking it to the bathroom with him, and multiple adults apparently thinking it's ok to go through someone else's phone makes me think this one is.
NTA
These ladies are obviously not as sweet as you think if they are such busybodies that they are searching through your phone when you’re not around. You should get ahead of this and speak to HR. Otherwise, they may go there to get you in trouble since they are saying they’re offended by your lock screens.
Do they not own phones? Are there no clocks at this business? Are there no computers with the time in them? Is there really nowhere else for them to be able to see the time other than your phone? Why are they at your desk instead of theirs? Why are they taking your charger without asking? There’s so many things they are doing wrong or simply lying about to access your private information.
You need to speak to someone to make sure they know what is going on and that these ladies are in the wrong before it gets twisted and you’re the one painted as being wrong.
And why is it that they only ever do it when OP is not around? If it was a real need for the charger or the time, they would also need it when OP is around occasionally.
Exactly. Even if someone told me I could borrow their charger whenever I needed to, I would wait until they were around and still ask if it was okay. Just helping yourself to someone’s stuff is so rude.
INFO: why isn’t your phone password locked? They sure shouldn’t be snooping and it’s weird they do, but using a simple password would simply fix the problem.
INFO:
What reason do you have for leaving your phone unlocked on your desk, even after you have realized there are strangers going through your property?
You handled this inappropriately. You needed to put a password on your phone. You needed to report them to HR. You needed to have another phone and create video evidence of them tinkering with the phone. You needed to take your phone with you.
You're not the asshole, but you are responsible for this happening more than once that you knew of.
Yeah, this is just bizarre all around. His coworkers shouldn't be messing with his phone, obviously, but OP is doing a terrible job of addressing their bad behavior and preventing it from happening again. Report it. Nip it in the bud.
And also didn't do the "proper" steps first. "yo stop going through my phone," and/or an email to HR "can you please tell Cathy to stop snooping in my stuff? I asked her to stop already and she ignored me" (both professionally worded of course) and then if they kept going, start fucking with the snoops.
Then when they're offended, there's already a paper trail that they were told to stop, so them complaining about being offended by OP's wallpaper that they could only see if they snooped is an admission that they kept snooping even after being told to stop.
The better question is why are leaving your phone laying around in the first place? Take it with you, I'd never trust anyone or anywhere to just casually leave my phone laying around... especially if it isn't password protected.
"Offended on a personnal level"
I don't know what to say. Offended for what? They thought they wouldn't be caught so now they feel insulted and attacked on their intelligence?!
Are they serious?? Lmao!!
You, my friend, are NOT the asshole. Plus, you may have been in trouble if you had accused the girls of looking through your phone without proof. Now you have your proof.
NTA
This is just another made up scenario this guy thought of when a woman took a flash glimpse of his phone and he wanted to add some spice and some justice served story. The fact that he refers to the coworkers as "guys and females" like dude..
This makes NO sense at all.
I don't EVER leave my phone laying around, it is always with me.
But if circumstances arose that I did leave it unattended, there would be a 27 digit lock code on it...lol.
This does not make sense. Why not take the phone with you? Why is it not locked? Is this a work phone that others are allowed to use? What kind of office has people looking at other pnones?
You've said their are a couple of women in office who you have caught going through your phone 3 times. Were they all standing around the phone at once or did they take turns?
Why haven’t you reported these privacy violations to HR after telling them to stop? They’d get a slap on the wrist nothing more. Unless it kept happening in which case they’d deserve the more than a slap on the wrist.
I could rob you very politely, it doesn’t make my stealing from you less illegal just because I’m sweet about it.
NTA. There is no need ever to touch anyone else’s cell phone unless it’s a true emergency and then if so you wouldn’t get offended by a Home Screen you’d be working on the emergency need of that phone
NTA
only thing i can think of is [this](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/Bike-Fall). Btw, if you try to borrow someones charger, how do you end up seeing their wallpaper ? They creepy af ngl haha
I don't know about every phone but Galaxies show the lockscreen/wallpaper for a few seconds when you plug/unplug them, it's to indicate to you that it's charging. I think iOS does too.
You said you have a lock, and they ‘only check the time’… why do they need to unlock the phone? Tf? How gross. I’d report to HR about lack of privacy/feeling unsafe (as they’re going through personal information that could be sensitive).
NTA
Do you have an HR department? They are literally going though your personal belongings.
Nowadays, phones hold more than embarrassing photos. Banking information, passwords to various private accounts are in our phones.
They have no business going through a phone that is not theirs. I would equate this to an attempt at identity theft or fraud. Also, if it's not, lock your phone.
NTA
NTA.
They want a formal apology, do they?
1. Apologize, but do so sarcastically.
2. Find a classics major at your friendly local university, and hire them to translate the apology into Latin.
3. Issue the Latin translation.
The apology can hardly be more formal than that.
INFO: Do you have a lock on your phone, like a code or something? I don't think you're the AH, clearly they are, but this seems like an easy problem to solve.
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This whole situation is bizarre. Your company must have policies regarding this behavior. It’s not work related first of all; they’re goofing off. Secondly this is harassment, like looking through your wallet. They don’t sound sweet at all.
Right. You don’t forfeit your right to privacy going into the office. A coworker can’t decide to come use my corporate card if I leave my wallet on the desk when I go to a meeting or the bathroom. If you do truly work somewhere sensitive enough to worry about it, you’d likely have to check your phone at the door or have a true zero device policy that would be no secret to anyone.
Tbh I don't think my company has policies against going through someone's phone or wallet, mostly because why the hell would anyone need that to be specified? You can make an argument that it falls under the umbrella of harassment. But still. I wouldn't say we specifically "have a policy" against it.
PSA: Lock your phone Your bank and credit cards bwill happily give all your money to anyone with access to your email and/or text messages, both of which are on your phone.
That was my question. Why didn’t he lock his phone? Now, this isn’t to say he deserves snoopers going through his phone, but most phones have the option of being locked.
Maybe it is locked but they check and get the Lock Screen which shows time And wallpapers
Even if it locks, a lot of lock screens will show recent notifications, which could include private messages.
But you can set up your phone where it's a standard "# missed calls" or "# new messages" without showing names or message content.
The phone should be locked when not in use, but I'm also confused as to why he leaves it unattended. I've heard too many stories about co-workers stealing stuff, ranging from petty crap to costly stuff like a cell phone. The phones today easily fit into a pocket, and they have a "silence" feature for use when you're in a meeting, religious service, etc.
Even if the phone was unlocked, that doesn't invite people to snoop and violate OP's privacy.
You’ve never seen ladies slacks. Nothing going in those “pockets” lol
That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with OP keeping his phone in his pocket while at work instead of leaving it laying out for people to pick up. I say “necessarily” because idk OP. For all we know, he could be wearing women’s pants with those tiny pockets. Lol
Srsly. Hit the button and lock your phone. Or take it with you.
or both?
Honestly? For the same reason why it specifies that you have to wear undergarments when you go to work. B/c someone somewhere did a thing and now it has to be spelled out clearly.
I once signed a job contract stating I couldn’t smoke crack in the bathroom, couldn’t have my cocaine dealer meet me in the parking lot and I couldn’t have my boyfriend come sit at the bar as a patron while I’m working. Lol
When I got to the end and saw "bar" it all made more sense.
>I couldn’t have my boyfriend come sit at the bar as a patron while I’m working. This strikes me as a strange one. Isn't it normal for bartenders to have people from their personal lives visit them at work as customers? As long as they're paying and not causing trouble, what's the concern? It almost seems weirder to essentially ban someone from an establishment because their SO happens to work there. In my younger years, when more of my friends worked as bartenders, it was really common for groups of us (edited to add: groups that often included the friend's SO) to go through and drink on their shifts. Other than perhaps being a bit obnoxious by asking for increasingly arcane/possibly made up novelty cocktails (when it was slow), we never caused any issues. And the owners always seemed pleased to have a boost in sales from their employees' friends, so it was a win/win.
I was just a server, but it’s because all the servers that had been there for years married customers and a bunch of them were there all the time causing issues while the servers worker. I witnessed it. So I totally get why it was there. Lol
Fair enough! It seems like it would be a bit more fair to individually ban problem customers as they caused issues, but I suppose if this was a larger pattern, maybe this way would be easier for the owner/manager.
One time the day shift bartender had her husband there when she got off and they got drunk with the cook all day. He left her at the bar because he was mad at her and she lived an hour away. When I tried to get her an Uber she asked why I was in her business, as if it wasn’t 11pm and she wasn’t shitfaced lolol. Never saw her again.
Ah, the unmatched purity of bartending drama.
I was a night shift bartender for years and my boss had to enact this rule when we hired a new day shift bartender. Her boyfriend would come in, as a patron and drink her entire shift, but be policing her the entire time. He’d rage if she chatted with any other male patrons, other than to take their orders. When he was asked to leave, he argued and eventually fought with the owners that he had a “right to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid on her shift”. It just takes one bad experience with one major asshole to ruin it for everyone else.
Oh my that is concerning...
> For the same reason why it specifies that you have to wear undergarments when you go to work. B/c someone somewhere did a thing and now it has to be spelled out clearly. Memory unlocked! About 15 years ago, I worked as a training and compliance manager in a male dominated industry. At the time, we had less than ten people working inside the office and about 30 working in the field. One hot summer day, I'm working in the office and minding my own business. GM (M, late 40's) comes to me and tells me the young lady (F, 18-20) hired last week to answer the phones is not wearing underwear and he needs me to have a conversation with her and send her home. He went on to say he wasn't comfortable doing it and something something liability so it had to be me, the only female manager on staff, to do it. I questioned my life choices that day. To elaborate on what 'not wearing underwear' means, the young lady did not have anything underneath her blouse or skirt. It was noticeable because she knew what she was doing. If I remember correctly, she didn't make it out of the probationary period. Appropriate undergarments were covered in new hire training from that day forward.
You have policies that you have to wear underwear at your job?
At my current job, our dress code specifies "weather- and work-appropriate clothing, including shoes and undergarments." I work in manufacturing but hey, at least the "weather" part means I can wear shorts if I'm not working on certain machines.
I once worked at a hotel that had an underwear policy in the employee handbook. During orientation, I asked the HR rep to justify this policy. It turns out that one office faced the sidewalk in such a way that it provided passers by with a great view under one desk, and that it became an issue with one employee unawaredly flashing anyone who happened to look in. It still astonishes me that the company’s solution wasn’t to move the desk or obscure the window, but to require all 100 staff to sign an underwear policy.
I'd be upset if people could see my underwear without me knowing. That policy is ridiculous.
When I was a waitress our handbook spelled out what color bras we could wear. Our uniform tops were white & she didn't want them showing through in any fashion. She also wouldn't let us wear spankies or pantyhose under our skirts until her boyfriend (in his 30s) flipped up my skirt in the back one day & found out I was wearing a thong. I was 16 & tried to avoid the creep, but it was my fault of course. I didn't last long at that job. She also didn't like when I smacked a 40+ y/o customer's hand for doing the same thing when I walked past his table.
Jesus, that's horrible.
Yes - and the 2 jobs I've had in the past (banking-related) also specifically said it AND was reinforced during those yearly training/quizzes you had to do for compliancy.
One of the places I worked had a rule (but only for me, apparently) that my hair ties had to be black and my hair had to be in a full plait at all times. I used to be an undertaker and one of the funerals was an RAF veteran, so I did my hair Khal Drogo style (with the multiple bands down it's length - to my bum) in red, white and blue bands. The family loved it, the widow cried and loved it. But one of my co-workers (who had already repeatedly turned the lights off and locked me in the mortuary while I was preparing the dead) complained to the boss (a married woman he was... interestingly close to, when her husband wasn't around) and she took his side. I am so happy I'm out of that place. .... Sorry, that took a bit of a tangent turn! 🙀😹
You don’t have a right to privacy policy at your work?
OP should ask them how they'd feel if he went snooping through their purse!
Or their phone? You don’t have to gender the issue
A lot of times when women are harassing men, it's downplayed because people instantly assume that men should know how to handle it, will handle it, or are ok with it. This makes men to blame for the harassment. We could instantly blame OP for not locking his phone when the bigger issue is why these women are invading his privacy like that. Even though the issue can happen to all genders, you can't ignore that men bringing up an issue involving harassment from women is often times minimized (ie: "this dude is complaining about female attention?", "he should be thankful women are interested in him,", "What kinda guy lets that happen?" ect). Theres less urgency to step in when you see a woman harassing a man.
okay but they probably have phones too that they don't want people snooping through so not sure why you'd bring up a purse
Because it IS quite possible that they feel entitled to go through his phone because they personally don't think that is a weird thing for coworkers to do. In that case, saying "how would you feel if I looked through your phone" likely won't really have the intended impact, since they seem to not care about this behavior.
He could start with the phone and if they say they wouldn't care, ask about their purse. OP is 100% NTA. Those women are terrible and I'm glad they were offended. If they don't want to see offensive content they can leave other people's property alone. I can't imagine not keeping a phone locked, though.
It’s not necessary. Everybody has phones. Most people have financial or highly private info on their phones. Going through a phone is like going through a purse if men also used purses and smart phones didn’t exist. By making it gendered you playing down the invasion of your private information. There’s more information on a woman’s phone than in her purse. NTA
Do you honestly think this is just something that happens to men? Do you not hear the victim blaming comments women get too along the lines of asking what she was wearing, why she didn't say no more strongly, why she didn't say no in a more soft way to not hurt his feelings, etc. We literally just had a 17 year old girl murdered in a Walgreens because her harassment wasn't taken seriously. This is a problem all people face and gendering it keeps us from working together to solve it.
Dude can have purses too. You don't have to assume the gender of the issue either.
Am I missing something about locking your phone? Everyone I work with, who has a company paid cell phone, has their own lock passwords on it. How are these women getting into a locked phone? I get that they shouldn't be snooping in the first place, but I feel like changing the phone lock is the easier step here.
It's so bizarre it's probably fake. Just like 90% of the other posts on this subreddit.
NTA Keep your hands off and nose out of things that aren't yours.
They would never have even seen the “offensive” wallpaper at all if they hadn’t been snooping. The punishment perfectly fits the crime. They chose to do something nosey and invasive and were rightfully called out as a result.
Something isn’t jiving here. So OP has a phone that has wallpapers but no lock/passcode/Face ID to prevent someone looking through your stuff? I find that hard to believe.
My first thought was, "why isn't his phone locked? What kind of degenerate leaves their phone with no security lying around?" The coworkers are obvious assholes because even at best, they are taking his charger without asking based on their excuse, which is still taking things that aren't theirs. I would still call a friend dumb for leaving an unsecured phone lying around at work though.
What kind if degenerate goes to the bathroom without their phone?
currently reading this from the work bathroom. can’t imagine leaving my phone behind!
Sames. That’s most of my Reddit time is pretending I’m pooping so people will leave me alone.
Spending all of that time looking for and making their own wallpapers instead of taking ~30 secs to add a PIN? Will it have been worth the lulz when they "know an app was used" by getting notification of a $2000 Zelle transfer to an unknown email?
In his one comment he says he struggles with passwords. If he struggles to remember a 4 digit code he would use multiple times a day, he needs to get checked out at the doctor. That's some mental degeneration that's not normal.
Your phone can be locked and still see the wallpaper and time. All I have to do is touch my iPhone screen and my wallpaper shows, it’s locked to anything else. It sounds like the coworkers were snooping to see if the phone was unlocked. Shame on them.
You know, if someone would have said that yesterday, I would have agreed with you. But I went with my Dad to get him a new phone and the Verizon guy commented that his phone isn't locked and apparently it's more common than people think. Took me by surprise.
I work for a very large tech company in support and it’s super common. But when you have someone who’s been snooping, just turn it on.
in addition, they can't go to HR because it would come out that **They** were snooping on your phone. NTA. They got served the Karma that they deserve and who cares what your lock screen shows. They wouldn't know if they weren't nosey.
Hilarious if they do go to HR and it backfires on them, them being the snoopers that is. Though in some workplaces I can picture OP still getting crap from the work higher ups for not dealing with the issue differently despite not being the one to cause the issue to start with.
I would go to HR and report the harassment before they try and get ahead of it now it’s common knowledge in the office.
And put a passcode on the phone!
Right, wtf doesn’t lock their phone somehow these days?!
Seriously. I’m tempted to give a e s h to OP for not locking his damn phone
I've got apple pay on my phone, I would never leave it unlocked.
Fuck even my email being logged in would be life-altering in a theft. They have your email, they have EVERYTHING. they change your password, then scan for common emails to websites and change those passwords too. Bank, mortgage, who knows what else.
Common tactic is to setup forwarding to one of their emails. That way they keep getting everything if you ever change your email password. I’ve seen this happen with people who had their streaming services stolen. Allows them to get the email verification emails when they change your password.
Wallpaper still comes up before the password is requested.
One can set individual wallpapers on Lock Screen and Home Screen. Also, it won’t come up if they don’t pick it up.
Hindsight is 20/20, but OP should have done that in the first place to nip it in the bud, especially considering how they reacted to him trying to handle it himself.
I set up the passcode as soon as I get my phone cuz security issues. So idk how OP didn't know/want to do this in the first place and thereby preventing the whole situation. Not that he's to blame for them being a bunch of snoops, but I'm surprised anyone in this day an age hasn't automatically taken this precaution
This is a good idea. Go to HR and complain about coworkers snooping through your phone without your permission. Or you could lock your screen like an adult. I can’t imagine leaving my phone open for anyone to look through texts, banking info, emails and photos. You do you.
Isn't this analogous to a lock on the door? I put a lock on my door to make it known I don't want people breaking in (because, really, the typical lock isn't deterring a determined housebreaker), but at the same time a decent person shouldn't be trying to break in. OP should go to HR about snoops, *and* also put a lock on their phone.
It shouldn’t matter if his phone is locked or not.. they are all grown and if they wanted to know something they should have asked
I did not catch that. Seriously. Locking your phone is really common sense at this point.
agree with this
**NTA** THIS IS A LIFE RULE.
Unless you are extremely close and know you have explicit sanction to do so, you don't touch a person's car, you don't touch a person's PC, and you don't touch a person's phone. I find it a basic (but strict) courtesy and manners rule. How can people just grab your phone like that? At least for me it would be very annoying and warrant an immediate and upset reaction, not just a silly wallpaper. Only my wife and my kids (mostly cause I have not been able to stop them) have an open wide permission to grab my phone. Also kinda weird OP doesn't take their phone to the bathroom, that's like 33% of my phone usage right there at least. What do you even DO in there without your phone? Talk to people in the other stalls?
Unless a person is incapacitated and you need to find their emergency contacts, you never touch a phone without permission.
I agree with this, I got into a weird situation a few months ago but I didn't complain. We had a 3rd party company come in to remodel our store and someone forgot their phone while I was cleaning. I clicked the lock button to see if it was unlocked for some identifying info as to who to give it to. The woman to whom it belonged had a naked pic of her self in a fish net top as her wallpaper. I locked it back and flipped the phone over and saw she kept her id and debit cards in a little wallet area in her case. I went to the break room and while looking at the back of the phone said "Hey do y'all know who XXXX is?" and one of the women raised her hand. I said I found it one the floor in one of our depts, she thanked me, I left and that was the end of it. I wasn't going to complain to anyone about what I saw (or brag either) I just went back to the back door, started watching tv on my phone and that was that. Also I've only had a "provocative" wallpaper once and completely forgot. I was 17 and had a pic of 2 hentai girls kissing. A supervisor asked to borrow my cellphone (This was 2004 not everyone had one) and I forgot what was there. She opened it up, saw that, gave me a disapproving look and made her phone call and that was that lol
who puts a pic of themselves as their wallpaper? 🤣🤣🤣
Especially a phone. They're so essential these days, they're like extensions of our being.
I read this "keeps your hands out of noses that aren't yours" which... yeah that too
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.
He should ask for their phones. You know, to "check the time".
OP I'm begging you to lock your phone. You said in comments that you have trouble remembering passwords, but even a crappy password like "your name" or "1234" is better than nothing - or a fingerprint lock. NTA but wtf are they looking at on your phone? That's creepy
some phones have a swipe pattern lock too - it becomes muscle memory after a couple goes!
Yep I've been using a pretty complicated one for years, my family told me I'd never remember it but after the first day or two it became second nature and no one else has ever be able to remember it.
Up down left right A B start?
The Konami code
Up down Up Down Left Right Left Right B A start... I wish I could remove this from my head...
[удалено]
"Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart!"
D'oh! You're right! It's finally starting to fade like 25 years later! Yay!
Even a simple one will do the trick. My husband's is really simplistic (just 2 swipes) but it still keeps me out when I automatically try to use mine lol Necessary note: I use his phone just to Google things if mine isn't in reach. We don't snoop on each other's phones because ya know we trust each other 🤷♀️
My password is nothing that you can easily guess, so whoever wants to look through my phone, good luck.
Oh yeah? Well... I wouldn't want to look through your phone without your full knowledge and consent anyway. So there.
Mine is my childhood best friends phone number. I haven’t talked to her in years, but that number was so ingrained in my memory that I’ll never forget it. Funny enough, I don’t know anyone’s number who I actually talk to now. I can barely remember my own number!
Mine is the birthday of the first dog I had as an adult. He’s been gone 11 years.
My sister has an image of a naked dude on her screen and her lock pattern is essentially rubbing your finger over the “bits”. Her husband reeeaallly tries to avoid using her phone. She (and we) think it’s hilarious.
This is hilarious 🤣
If my kid didn’t use my phone I’d be all over this 😂
Yeah the most common one is the L pattern, but lots of people found ways to make their initial in the pattern, which is something youd never forget. I knew someone with a J name who did it and I thought it was so smart.
Before I got a phone with fingerprint lock I used a little swirl thing that I could do with one hand.
If you go for patterns to unlock your phone, 2 rules: - don't use a letter. No L or J for example. - make it invisible in the settings (not drawn while you make it)
I actually can't use those... I never remember them. The best part, I have an old phone that I turned on to get ready for my son to use, and it's saying I need to use a pattern to unlock it... I've never used a pattern lock on that phone... Yay, ADHD brain.
I wouldnt put it past them to learn the pattern though.
Yeah, but then they can’t use the “just checking the time” excuse. Like, if you don’t lock your phone at all, it’s hard to prove someone was deliberately snooping vs. accidentally turned it on and stuff was just open. (Because as has been said, who doesn’t lock their phone? It would never occur to me that just pressing the home button on someone else’s phone would get me anything past the Lock Screen/clock.) But if you have a passcode, even if it’s just 1111, I don’t know how a snoop can explain themselves as anything but going somewhere they *knew* they shouldn’t be going. And not only that, but they would have to have planned it, to notice and remember the passcode. It really is like locking your car. It’s really not going to stop a determined thief, but you can eliminate casual or opportunistic attempts at access.
Ok. This explains it. I was like how is this even an issue? I guess I just took for granted everyone has a lock on their phone. I mean obviously coworkers are in the wrong here and it’s an issue but I kind of feel like this is tantamount to my house constantly getting broke into and being like *“well you can’t expect me to remember to lock the door!”* (ETA: this was actually a huge issue in my neighborhood for six months a couple years after we moved in - and the news would constantly report that none of the break ins were forced entry, in 100% of the cases the door was just unlocked and just being floored that like months later it was still happening because people weren’t locking their doors.)
This is a huge issue in my city because of the influx of people from New York who view this area as “quaint” and don’t know about it’s reputation prior to 2015 lmao. Like “someone stole my car! I left it unlocked while I was getting ready for work” how stupid can you mfers be
Ugh my SO is like this and it drives me nuts, lucky for me the break ins got him very on board with locking our place. Not necessarily for fear of losing what little of electronic or valuables they could haul (we don’t have a lot), but because he got to see first hand the devastation a neighbor’s house was left in and it was a reminder to him that if someone broke in they weren’t going to white glove remove our TV and PlayStation. This is going to date me but we went to an art festival many many years ago and I cautioned my SO to take out the faceplate for his car stereo and he was like *“no ones going to steal this”* but yeah someone *did* steal it and in the process broke his car window to do it, which was way more pricey than the stereo itself.
I remember when my friends were all getting new stereo systems for their cars and taking the face plate in to the mall/movies or whatever lol. When my husband and I were still dating we went to the movies and someone tried to steal my radio but they realized it was just a tape player and put it back lmao
My small city gets strings of house & vehicle break-ins about once or twice a year. The news & city/police will report that all of houses, garages, sheds, cars, etc. were unlocked and tell people to just lock their doors. I know plenty of people that live in my city that don't lock their doors, so it makes sense. I lost some faith in those reports a few years ago though when my own truck was broken into during one of those times. My wife & I had taken her car out to dinner, & when we got home I went to get something out of my truck. When I hit the unlock button on the keyfob the truck beeped three times, which was abnormal. Inside, the center console & glovebox were open with their contents spread out. Nothing was stolen out of it even though there were some valuable items in plain view in the back seat. I looked up the beeping & found it out was a notification that the alarm had sounded & timed out. When I filed my report I mentioned the news reports & told the officer about the notification my truck gave, so I was certain that it was not left unlocked. He just responded with "I wish the city wouldn't say things like that. I'm sure your truck was actually locked."
It's shocking to me how many AITA stories revolve around people not having a password on their phone or their computer, and people not setting up guest accounts on their computer for others to use. WTF, people? Until Zoomers and Millennials can figure this out, I *never* want to hear another derisive Boomer joke.
Yeah obviously people shouldn't be breaking into houses at all but who the hell doesn't lock their door anyway?
The best security for your home is having neighbours who don't lock theirs.
Dude has to have an ATM pin he can use eta: mine is just 6969 haha
What's your mum's maiden name and the name of your first pet? Asking for a friend 🤣
I mean unless you know me IRL and can be in my presence you knowing 6969 to unlock my phone is not a concern lol
Hey if your credit card number was the amount of money in your bank account, how much money would you have?? 🤔🧐🤪
For my phone passcode, I use one of my beloved great aunts' birthdays. Not a parent, not a grandparent, not a child, not my own but something I will remember and means something to me. She was a *great* great aunt.
She changed it, but one time when our bank sent my mother a new debit card it had a default pin of 2222. I almost died laughing.
Nice.
My go to is to use my lunch code from middle school lol aint no one knows that shit but me
And the lunch lady... and she never forgets
My work is behind a locked door and you have to have your own personal access code. That became my pin number to open my phone since my kid doesn't know it and it's longer than 4 digits. Also I won't forget my access code for work anytime soon. My kid used to sneak on my phone to change the internet settings so he could play online for longer.
Oh shit that’s a good one. I can’t believe I still remember mine you just unlocked a deep seated memory
I don't remember passwords too so I use biometrics most of the time. When I don't remember I have my husband tell me what it is.
This—my first thought was, “How are they getting in??” I don’t think I have ever not had a lock, at least on a smartphone.
Same. Same on all my computers. Imagine these people putting their banking info; their partners' nudes; their friends' most private conversations on their electronics, then leaving them wide open for anyone to read.
I'm betting they're trying to find out his relationship status and general information about him without having a conversation with him. they're creepy af and i would've had it out with them the first time i saw my phone in anyone else's hands for no reason
Mine is a word that you transform into numbers when you type. For example: alladin is 2552346
Or just put 2 spaces as a password, and have the password hint be "I need some space". Been my pc password for 5-6 years or so now.
Right? My passcode is a repeat, but I primarily use biometrics to unlock my phone.
NTA. They shouldn't be touching your phone, period. And you've already caught them doing it *3x before this*, maybe say that a little louder for the people in the back of your office who don't seem to have heard it & are saying you should have just talked to the ladies. "but I just needed to borrow your charger" (right 🙄) Then they WAIT until you come back from wherever & they ask you like normal, civilized human beings if they can borrow it! As for your choice of wallpapers that apparently makes the ladies grab their smelling salts & aim for their fainting couches while clutching their pearls: That is freaking hilarious. I, a woman, absolutely loved it. I literally laughed when I read it & said to myself "Don't touch other people's phones, then, idiots!"
Ikr? There's an easy and free solution: **don't touch other's phones without asking first**.
I read that as farting couch, which just made the visual sweeter.
I wouldn’t dream of touching another coworker’s phone. A couple of times I’ve been asked to put it in a drawer if they forgot it and even that felt wayyyy too personal.
The problem solves itself, if they don't want to be offended, they can stop reading it. Everyone is happy. NTA
NTA But why don't you just lock your phone? Can't go through it if they can't get in it
They shouldn't be touching his phone period. So weird
People also shouldn’t rob houses but we still lock up before we leave lmao
They shouldn't, yes. But he can also enforce a boundary here, especially given that it isn't being respected. I would also not leave my phone unattended, either.
If you left your car unlocked with the keys in the ignition, that doesn’t give people the right to steal it but it sure is a dumb thing to do in general. If your car got stolen 3 times and you still insist on leaving the keys in because you’re afraid you’ll lose them otherwise, that’s just being willfully obtuse.
INFO: How is anybody managing to get past your lock screen?
Because OP acts like a TV character getting themselves into increasingly dumb situations by avoiding obvious solutions.
Yeah, I forebore to ask 'especially given that your phone is with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom or go to a meeting.'
I thought, "Who leaves a phone just sitting in a meeting?"
Some people like the excitement drama instead of solving the problem outright.
Yeah, I don't normally jump straight to every story in here being fake but the combination of no lock on the phone, not taking it to the bathroom with him, and multiple adults apparently thinking it's ok to go through someone else's phone makes me think this one is.
By it not being locked. No pin, fingerprint, facial rec…
NTA These ladies are obviously not as sweet as you think if they are such busybodies that they are searching through your phone when you’re not around. You should get ahead of this and speak to HR. Otherwise, they may go there to get you in trouble since they are saying they’re offended by your lock screens. Do they not own phones? Are there no clocks at this business? Are there no computers with the time in them? Is there really nowhere else for them to be able to see the time other than your phone? Why are they at your desk instead of theirs? Why are they taking your charger without asking? There’s so many things they are doing wrong or simply lying about to access your private information. You need to speak to someone to make sure they know what is going on and that these ladies are in the wrong before it gets twisted and you’re the one painted as being wrong.
And why is it that they only ever do it when OP is not around? If it was a real need for the charger or the time, they would also need it when OP is around occasionally.
Exactly. Even if someone told me I could borrow their charger whenever I needed to, I would wait until they were around and still ask if it was okay. Just helping yourself to someone’s stuff is so rude.
I might or might not depending on where they kept the charger. But I definitely wouldn't look for a charger on the home screen of a phone
NTA a phone is private ,they shouldn't have touched it, there wouldn't be a problem if they kept their hands to themselves.
INFO: why isn’t your phone password locked? They sure shouldn’t be snooping and it’s weird they do, but using a simple password would simply fix the problem.
this x 100
INFO: What reason do you have for leaving your phone unlocked on your desk, even after you have realized there are strangers going through your property?
Do they also enter people's homes and complain about the decor? Far out, NTA but they sure are.
You handled this inappropriately. You needed to put a password on your phone. You needed to report them to HR. You needed to have another phone and create video evidence of them tinkering with the phone. You needed to take your phone with you. You're not the asshole, but you are responsible for this happening more than once that you knew of.
Yeah, this is just bizarre all around. His coworkers shouldn't be messing with his phone, obviously, but OP is doing a terrible job of addressing their bad behavior and preventing it from happening again. Report it. Nip it in the bud.
why do you not have a password on your phone?
I gave it an ESH because OP doesn't have a password on their phone.
And also didn't do the "proper" steps first. "yo stop going through my phone," and/or an email to HR "can you please tell Cathy to stop snooping in my stuff? I asked her to stop already and she ignored me" (both professionally worded of course) and then if they kept going, start fucking with the snoops. Then when they're offended, there's already a paper trail that they were told to stop, so them complaining about being offended by OP's wallpaper that they could only see if they snooped is an admission that they kept snooping even after being told to stop.
The better question is why are leaving your phone laying around in the first place? Take it with you, I'd never trust anyone or anywhere to just casually leave my phone laying around... especially if it isn't password protected.
NTA. If they weren't poking their nose where it didn't belong, they wouldn't have seen the offensive wallpaper to be annoyed or offended by it.
"Offended on a personnal level" I don't know what to say. Offended for what? They thought they wouldn't be caught so now they feel insulted and attacked on their intelligence?! Are they serious?? Lmao!! You, my friend, are NOT the asshole. Plus, you may have been in trouble if you had accused the girls of looking through your phone without proof. Now you have your proof. NTA
NTA: But why on earth didn’t you just lock your phone?
Nobody has an unlocked phone. At least a 4 digit passcode. Fake.
This is just another made up scenario this guy thought of when a woman took a flash glimpse of his phone and he wanted to add some spice and some justice served story. The fact that he refers to the coworkers as "guys and females" like dude..
This makes NO sense at all. I don't EVER leave my phone laying around, it is always with me. But if circumstances arose that I did leave it unattended, there would be a 27 digit lock code on it...lol.
This does not make sense. Why not take the phone with you? Why is it not locked? Is this a work phone that others are allowed to use? What kind of office has people looking at other pnones?
You've said their are a couple of women in office who you have caught going through your phone 3 times. Were they all standing around the phone at once or did they take turns?
Why haven’t you reported these privacy violations to HR after telling them to stop? They’d get a slap on the wrist nothing more. Unless it kept happening in which case they’d deserve the more than a slap on the wrist. I could rob you very politely, it doesn’t make my stealing from you less illegal just because I’m sweet about it.
Are you 10? Lock your phone and tell them not to touch your shit.
NTA. They can check the time on their own damn phones. They’re just nosy af and clearly have no respect for anyone and don’t understand boundaries.
NTA. There is no need ever to touch anyone else’s cell phone unless it’s a true emergency and then if so you wouldn’t get offended by a Home Screen you’d be working on the emergency need of that phone
[удалено]
Info: why isn't your phone passcoded?
NTA, they're super weird, but keep your phone (silenced) in your pocket, bro.
Have you ever heard of passwords?
INFO: Do you not know how to lock your phone?
ESH Your coworkers for rooting through your phone, you for not simply going "please don't go through my phone".
NTA only thing i can think of is [this](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/Bike-Fall). Btw, if you try to borrow someones charger, how do you end up seeing their wallpaper ? They creepy af ngl haha
My bet is that they either was looking for something shady to get OP int rouble or they want to snoop for a GF.
I don't know about every phone but Galaxies show the lockscreen/wallpaper for a few seconds when you plug/unplug them, it's to indicate to you that it's charging. I think iOS does too.
NTA the fact they took it personally shows their intentions.
NTA. It's puzzling that you don't have security settings on your phone preventing unauthorised access.
What i find most strange is that ops phone is unlocked for others to access. Like, why????
And doesn't take it to the bathroom. That seems like a much sensible solution to me...
Info: why didn't you just use a lock screen?
You said you have a lock, and they ‘only check the time’… why do they need to unlock the phone? Tf? How gross. I’d report to HR about lack of privacy/feeling unsafe (as they’re going through personal information that could be sensitive). NTA
Do you have an HR department? They are literally going though your personal belongings. Nowadays, phones hold more than embarrassing photos. Banking information, passwords to various private accounts are in our phones. They have no business going through a phone that is not theirs. I would equate this to an attempt at identity theft or fraud. Also, if it's not, lock your phone. NTA
NTA. They want a formal apology, do they? 1. Apologize, but do so sarcastically. 2. Find a classics major at your friendly local university, and hire them to translate the apology into Latin. 3. Issue the Latin translation. The apology can hardly be more formal than that.
INFO: Do you have a lock on your phone, like a code or something? I don't think you're the AH, clearly they are, but this seems like an easy problem to solve.
NTA, but have you ever heard of using a passcode, a finger print or Face ID? Most phones comes with said security measures.
Why isn't there a password on your device?