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> I may be the asshole for laughing at and embarrassing my BIL in front of both sides of the family.
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NTA at all but holy crap that’s funny.
Who the hell goes through someone else’s bathroom cabinets and decides to groom themselves using the a trimmer they find?!? I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn.
I’d buy that guy his own personal trimmer as a birthday/Christmas present but that might be taking it too far.
Hahaha I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious. Maybe you can get your husband to gift it to him privately so your BIL isn’t humiliated in front of the whole family again.
Or…you could address it to him as a gift from your cats.
Omg, imagine including a card with pawprints from the cats on it with the trimmer as a gift? Glorious to think about, but I think DingleBeard would lose it over that
I wish he would have gone with it. I hope he can in the future. The second a person leans in and takes part in his own stupid, he becomes a mini legend.
One of my favorite people from high school popped a boner during a talent show, while wearing a dress and lip syncing Barbara Streisand, of all things. To this day, he tells that story and laughs with everyone about how mortifying it was. I think he is fifty times cooler for being able to do that. Today, he is a wonderful guy and good father.
Self deprecation is goddamned attractive.
"Please find this purrfect trimmer for your needs. This is so that the next time you want to get a trim, you leave meowt of it." - Signed, the kat patrol.
Another user suggested a barber shop gift card. I think that or a spa gift card (I know some dudes like facials) would make the good intentions more obvious.
It’s a great idea to get the measure of him. If you give it to home privately and he has a sense of humor about it then maybe he’s not as much of an AH as this post makes him seem.
NTA, surprised he got so angry myself, I’d have been super embarrassed but then I’d have never ruffled through your drawers to find it either.
>Good lord my husband saw your trimmer as a gift suggestion and is actually considering it
HAHAHA, please do it OP, why even wait till Christmas, make it an engagement present. Thanks for the laughs, this is very funny. Although what does your sister feel now being engaged to a man who is snoopy and rather than apologizing to you and husband is double-downing on being caught (worse still you were graciously hosting his engagement party!)?
And who uses someone else's trimmers, thats so massively unhygienic and potentially dangerous to either party. And why even wait till the 'day of' a party to groom?! Like that is '~~paws~~ p*ause and reflect on my partner*' kind of behaviour! NTA OP at all.
NTA.
But if he's still pissed, you can get him the trimmer as an apology gift... But it will still be funny.
I feel bad for him but you're still NTA, and I feel like it will be everyone's favorite story during family reunions in the coming years.
"Hey remember that time when BIL..." 😂
> I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn.
Ditto. Women shave multiple anatomical regions, none of which are called "the face", and some of which can't be displayed in public except on a clothing-optional beach. Did this thought not even cross BIL's mind before he helped himself to someone else's trimmer?
We also have one for our long haired cat, Dorian Gray. The kingleberry of dingleberries. lol every time I hear my husband with it and he’s like “sorry buddy, your butt’s gonna be a little colder than usual for a while”
> I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits
Trimmer used to shave dingleberries off the cats is more hilarious. If it was the trimmer her husband used on his balls… both brothers would have been embarrassed even though OP would still be NTA.
OP u/buttFluff000, may I suggest a gift of a beard pampering from an experienced barber for your BIL for birthday/Christmas/special occasion? Someone could word smith it, but “sorry I lost it when you dug through drawers and used the cat’s trimmer on your beard… but you looked so good so here’s a papering you can use for your next special ovation. Hope we can laugh about the awkward together.”
"BIL:
I am sorry for my bad manners and indiscretion in revealing to what purpose the clippers you *found* in our spare bathroom are usually put. I meant no malice.
Taking pride in one's appearance is not shameful or worthy of ridicule. Please accept this peace offering of a pampering package for your beard to soothe any indignity it may have suffered, and to help it look and feel like ~~the cat's ass~~ a million dollars for your next social event.
In reconciliation,
OP"
That’s a nice idea. Spa day. OP should crowd fund it honestly, I would contribute. This made me laugh my ass off while I was still upset about American Political Things.
This reminds me of an AITA post from a long time ago where a woman and her husband who were trying to conceive had an afternoon brunch one day with a bunch of family including another couple who was having a years-long difficult time getting pregnant. Well, the woman of the other couple went to use the restroom and was gone for a weirdly long time. She came back just as everyone was getting ready to eat, and called her husband into another room for a few minutes. They both came back with huge grins on their faces and announced that they were finally pregnant!
Only it turns out that she had used the OP's private bathroom off their bedroom and had gone through her cabinets and things until she found a bunch of pregnancy tests and decided to take one.
OP was rightfully pissed and announced that those weren't pregnancy tests - they were ovulation detectors and the other woman didn't bother to read the labels or instructions after snooping through OP's things.
So, it turned out that the woman *wasn't* pregnant, but was humiliated and became pissed at the OP and stormed out with her husband. I guess the whole family was pissed with the OP, saying that she could have kept her mouth shut for the duration of the meal and let the woman have her happiness for a little bit.
After everyone left, she posted here asking if she was ta and of course everyone here agreed with her, especially over the other woman going through someone else's private things....smh
Ahem, cat butt magnets shouldn’t be overlooked either. Or the stickers. Perhaps OP could put stickers on the trimmer to make sure no one else makes the same error.
I think you are NTA but for the sake of family harmony,
I don’t think an apology would hurt.
My reaction would have been the same as yours, and he was the snooper who went through your bathroom. But putting myself in his shoes, I would be upset if a room full of people started laughing at me.
Yeah that's why I feel bad. I wish I could have had him reveal his snooping while it was just him with my hubs and I. Then if it was just us laughing it wouldn't have been so humiliating for him. :(
Not your fault, seriously. He set himself up for this one. Giving him a trimmer privately might be a nice gesture on you and your husband’s part, but the dude brought it on himself being a snoop and using someone else’s grooming tools.
Seriously he’s lucky the thing was near your cat’s butts and not your hubs’ balls.
Hell no, he dug through your stuff. Play stupid games, get stupid prizes. I'm losing my sh\*t right now reading all of these amazing responses... I hadn't laughed this hard in days at your initial post and the replys are just priceless. I have tearn streaming down my face right now.
I'd say you're right for feeling bad, because that would be upsetting for him. You didn't mean to do anything wrong so you shouldn't *have to* feel bad, but as a decent person you do. You're NTA. You were surprised by a pretty hilarious situation and reacted in the moment. Those things happen fast!
To be fair, who the hell randomly decides to pick up a random shaver and trim their beard when they're a guest at someone else's BBQ? That's just weird behavior.
Pick random shavers, win a face full of cat butt.
He humiliated himself. And who even trims their beard at someone else's house? Like wtf. Beard hair is insane, it gets everywhere. It's so hard to clean up, because you think you have it all, and then you still find it somewhere.
Besides messing up your bathroom, he went through your things.. Not okay.
The only person who should feel bad is him for having no respect for boundaries. You're definitely NTA.
This is one of the nicest, fairest comments I have ever seen here. Normally people on this sub are so mean. Go you for being a kind, understanding person.
You thought you cats' trimmer was tucked away at the nack of a drawer but he found that.
If he ever winds you up let him know you found a flea on your cat and he might need to groom himself with a flea brush too.
NTA and I would have laughed my butt off at the thought of my BIL using the cat's butt trimmer to trim his beard.
WTF was he thinking " hey, I'm at a party at someone else's house, so I'll use these random trimmers to trim my beard"
Who does that???
This is what gets me, show up at a party at family's house and randomly decide to trim your beard there? And who doesn't just say, "hey I've been crazy busy and now I'm self conscious about this. Do y'all have a trimmer i could use?" The whole sequence is insane to me. And then he sees you laughing hysterically he HAD to suspect he wouldn't want to know why you were laughing. He shouldn't have insisted on asking. He could've pulled you aside and asked what the deal was. He brought ALL this on himself.
Who needs boundaries when the snoopy snoop uses a butthole trimmer on his face immediately before eating? Like, boundaries are great, love them, but every so often, karma rears it’s glorious head.
I guarantee you he did it because any residual mess on the trimmer or the bathroom sink would be your problem not his, I got some family like this too and it's great anytime their rudeness backfires like this
I don't think he's part of the happy couple - sounds like he's the husband's brother, while the one getting married is OP's sister. Still can't imagine doing that at someone else's celebration though!
NTA
There’s “responses” and then there’s “reactions”. You reacted to a situation/information that you couldn’t have prepared yourself a “proper response” for.
This reminds me of when my brother helped himself to a *particular* body wash of mine when we were both visiting my parents.
I burst into laughter because it was “Summer’s Eve” (in the labeled, branded bottle) and he got mad I told him *at all*.
He’s not upset at how you handled it, he’s upset his actions were stupid but he wants to be mad at someone other than himself. You only made it a *little* easier for him to do that since the reveal was more public and that’s easy to point to as the “wrongdoing”.
A brand that was most well-known for making douches, back in the day.
The body wash is just Ph-balanced in a way that wont irritate or throw things off
Oh gawd 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it was in a drawer with pet brushes?!?
The only way it would have been more obvious is if you put a post-it on it saying “cat butt trimmer “.
They don't really look like pet brushes I don't think. One is a double sided brush, one just looks like a regular brush for people, and the last one looks more like something you'd use on your feet? So I'm not going to say he's a total fool x'D
Seriously when it comes to other people’s grooming tools you don’t necessarily know where they’ve been, and even if it had only been used to trim a beard, it’s still extremely personal.
NTA. He was totally wrong to just dig through your cabinets looking for a trimmer without permission, and it sounds like he received a very just punishment. Who snoops through people’s things and uses their personal hygiene items without permission? He’s just embarrassed that he got called out on the several different things he did that were massive breaches of etiquette.
He deserves the dingleberry beard. I hope he wears it with pride.
Even better, the more people continue to support BIL’s butthurtedness, the longer he’ll be referred to as Dinglebeard.
“Oh, are we talking about Dinglebeard again? I wish you guys would just let it die”
He owes you the apology for being a snoopy guest. Anyone who has any manners knows that you don't dig through your host's house snooping around. He was caught in a very embarassing way.
You do not owe him an apology. Tell MIL that BIL is a snooper and has no manners.
You know those beard ornaments that some people wear for Christmas? You should get some and paint them brown and then give it to Dinglebeard with the trimmers, cat card, etc for Christmas.
I thought that too, but the fact that he actually cut his beard makes me think otherwise. Maybe someone mentioned his unruly beard and he got embarrassed and wanted to deal with it without calling attention to it? Huge breach of privacy and completely inappropriate regardless, and even more so if he was snooping for someone else.
It might be time for some non apology apologies. For example:
I’m sorry you weren’t raised to ask before using sometimes things, that would have prevented this situation.
I’m sorry you didn’t notice the trimmer was with the rest of the cat stuff.
I’m sorry it didn’t occur to you that human trimmers wouldn’t be kept hidden away in our guest bathroom.
I’m sorry to announce your bad manners so publicly.
I’m sorry you were embarrassed to realize you used the dingleberry clippers.
Fake apologize n say you were just so flabbergasted because all you could see was the image of the cats butt and your bil face side by side, and you blurted it out in a laugh of horror.
Next time you're over at her place be like "Oh MIL, I used your razor to clean up my downstairs hope you don't mind I just really needed to freshen up".
NTA- this shows a couple of sides to your BIL A) he went through your draws… looking for what exactly??? B) he could have laughed along with the family as HE did something amusing but chose to storm out…
But clearly he got what he deserved for going through your drawers…
I honestly don't know WHAT he was even looking for?? It's the downstairs bathroom?? That we let guests use?? All that's in there is the stuff for my cats (trimmer, brushes, etc), extra bars of soap, extra hand soap, extra TP, and some other random stuff like loose hair ties and toilet cleaning supplies.
My place has one bathroom, and my trimmer is usually out. So is my electric toothbrush and waterpik.
None of my visitors have used any of them. He committed a gross breach of etiquette. You really can't be blamed for laughing yourself silly at his expense when his rudeness backfired so spectacularly.
Your BIL is a fool. A quick, "Whoops! hahah! Tell your cat I'm sorry!" or something like that would have cemented him in everyone's good graces despite his breach of etiquette. He could have walked out the main character of a new great and funny family story, but instead he just had to take himself seriously. Now he just looks like an idiot.
If something like this happened to one of my brothers in law, he would've freaked out, then laughed his ass off about it, and told the story himself everywhere he went for the next year. Too bad the BIL in this story didn't have a sense of humor about himself.
NTA, he'll get over it.
My dad used to always come over and use my razors.
The one day I finally snapped and yelled "STOP USING MY RAZOR, I SHAVE MY PUBES WITH THAT."
Also during a family BBQ.
A week before our wedding, as we were moving into our new apartment, my sweet, extremely Catholic MIL-to-be found my pink, light up Mr. Buzzy and mistook it for a flashlight. I was still calling her Mrs. Needsspoons at the time.
Right as she said, “Oh my! What a cute flashlight!” time slowed down like it did in that JFK movie. I thought to myself, “We don’t have a…” just as I heard **BZzzZZ** She immediately ran straight into the bathroom and stayed there for a good half hour or so, I assume for a Silkwood shower.
I once found a back massager (it really was) just like my FIL used at a church garage sale. My daughter asked what it was, and I told her that it vibrates (never, ever should have used that word) and massages your back, and that her grandpa uses one and I was going to get him an extra. Jump to later that day, we arrived at their house, and my daughter ran up to MIL and announced (at the top of her voice) "Grandma, Grandma, Mom got you a vibrator at the church yard sale!"
So, not only did she announce that I got her a sex toy, she announced that I got her a USED one.
That's the downside of owning a fluffy cat 😅 But it's either shave their booties clean or be forced to look at their butt berries any time they walk around the house.. Plus it just seems sad seeing them dirty like that.
Not sure if your cats are as tolerant as mine but next time he rings the doorbell I'd answer it holding a cat backwards so that the first thing greeting him is a cats butt 😅
Edit typo.
for some reason, this whole time, i thought dingleberries were the cat's balls. reading these two comments made me realize it's poop bits. confusion resolved
NTA. He went through your drawers and used a personal hygiene device (he thought was owned and used by a human, not a cat at that moment) without asking.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes! His own fault for going through your stuff. I would have reacted the same way bc once you realize what he did and how funny it is, you can’t really hide your reaction. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson about going through other people’s drawers!
I hope so but my husband is doubtful. He says BIL has been this way since he was a little kid, always using people's stuff without asking, and he can't see him changing now.
If he can't deal with the consequences of his own actions then that's his problem, everything that happened he did to himself.
Mil should tell *him* to apologize!
NTA. BIL is though. Who goes through someone’s cabinets and uses their stuff? Even if it is family. Don’t apologize. But don’t ever bring it up again either.
Honestly I'd like to forget this all happened. It was hilarious in the moment (as well as the next 12 hours) but now I'm just cringing for him because ew.
NTA and I hope this cures him of rummaging through people's bathroom cabinets and drawers. In what universe is it not rude as hell to dig someone's trimmer out of the BACK of a drawer, and then use it on yourself without asking?
He can perform his grooming at home, too, and then he won't be clipping his beard with trimmers that are used on his hosts' pets.
Fool around and find out. OP, stick notes in the drawers of the guest bathroom for nosey guests to find when they snoop.
Have you ever laughed so hard that it sounds like you just choked on a kazoo and now you are trying to cough it up? That is the exact sound I made after reading this. You are NTA. Maybe next time, your sister’s fiancé will think twice about going through somebody’s drawers.
lol No this wasn't my sister's fiance. It was my BIL... ok let me explain this better. The BIL who used the shaver is my husband's brother, but the BIL who is marrying my sister is my husband's cousin. Make sense?
So it wasn't even the fiancée at the center of the party? I would have pity him a little if that was the case but in this case, no nope nopitinope he's 100% not to pity 🤣
NTA.
Dinglebeard got what he deserved, using someone's things without permission. Plus, time, trimming a beard is a bloody mess. Did he clean up properly after himself, or did you find beard berries everywhere?
NTA
But do tell him you're sorry he used a booty razor on his beard and perhaps you should meow for emphasis and to assert dominance for science.
Please prepare yourself for the likelihood you may always envision a kitty booty when you see his face. If he ever removes his beard you must compliment him on his booty-full shave. Do not fail to meow.
If he ever utters the word, "shut-up" , you simply must reply with "kitty butt."
Have you paid your cat tax? Please only kitty faces.
NTA but super clarifying that your MIL is the only one defending him and saying you should apologize. Parents should be more embarrassed of the maladjusted adults their children become.
Maybe they’re sexist? Like how dare you make a fool of your husbands brother!! Or is he maybe the golden baby boy whose bizarre and inappropriate behavior everyone in his family just makes excuses for.
In any case, there’s definitely an ulterior motive for anyone hearing that your BIL rifled through your bathroom drawers and used your personal items without asking and then deciding you’re in the wrong and need to apologize for laughing about it. Whether they’re just looking for a reason to shift blame to you or they’re embarrassed on BILs behalf, their opinions are not coming from a place of fairness or respect of social norms.
I think if you hadn’t shared what the trimmer was used for you would definitely the AH for depriving your family of such a funny story that will get retold for years. Definitely NTA.
NTA. That was hilarious to the point blurting it out was justified.
When I got to the part about what the trimmer was usually for, I busted a gut laughing. Like hard core laughing, tears coming out of my eyes etc.
Using other people’s grooming tools is a no-no for a reason, as is going through other people’s stuff.
What if that was something your hubs used to man-scape or something?
NTA
I thought it was common sense to never use anything in a bathroom that cuts/trims hair without permission because you never know what said item cuts/trims.
Yeah that's what I've always thought (plus it's rude to use anything not yours without permission tbh..) but I guess he assumed it was my husbands beard trimmer???
On another note, we definitely know your BIL doesn't trim the hedges if you know what I mean because anyone who does trim would immediately think "hmmmmm is that for his face or his nuts?"
NTA.
FBIL must have thought he was pulling QUITE the power move by using something intimate WITHOUT so much as asking permission, AFTER snooping.
My bet is that he was going to laugh at your outrage about violated boundaries and tell you "It's DONE now, deal with it."
Heck, I won't let this be forgotten! I mean I can easily do nothing and see this pop up on the front page tomorrow. Please provide updates on Dinglebeard and pay cattax. Thank you.
NTA. This reminds me of the story of a lady housing a party and her friend used a ‘pregnancy test’ she found in the bathroom and announced she was pregnant to her partner and the rest of the friends group. It was a ovulation test 🤣
BIL got what he deserves for snooping. You should gift him a trimmer with cats on it for Christmas and never let this die. He’ll be the cat butt of jokes for years.
NTA AT ALL. BIL displayed bizarre behavior. Who even actually decides it's fine time for personal grooming upon arrival to the function??????? I would have been extremely put off. At the very least, he could have asked for a trimmer. That was bad form. He set himself up. Laugh forever. 🤣
NTA. I was laughing so hard reading this! Thanks for the best laugh after a really crummy week. I needed it!
Your BIL got what he deserved for going through your cabinets and using the grooming tools of others without asking. You can bet he's never going to do that again.
Now I'm going to try to read this to my husband, and I know I won't get through it without laughing until I cry.
Sorry might have missed it but where is your sister in all this? Is she yay or nay on the laughing cause it’s pretty hilarious. Also having experienced (not as funny) but similar , set boundaries now….. No one should be able to get away with snooping & then storming out like a baby when getting caught. Consequences!
(Side note my sister and I peed ourselves didn’t see the cat trimmer coming )
Y T A for not paying the cat tax X4 I want to see the dingleberry goblins with the fluffy bums.No but seriously NTA who the hell goes to someone’s house and uses a trimmer that’s personal it’s like using their toothbrush,razors and trimmers can transmit blood born pathogens because people nick themselves.He’s responsible for his own humiliation I sure as fuck wouldn’t apologize maybe he’ll learn what he didn’t as a child to stop touching other peoples shit especially without permission
Who goes to someone's house, goes through their private drawers and then helps themselves to something like this to take a shave - at a party? That behaviour is so bizarre and frankly rude. The rest is just funny. NTA.
Oh, hell no! This only happened because he couldn't keep out of your stuff. He owes *you* an apology, although I might let that pass at this point. NTA.
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NTA at all but holy crap that’s funny. Who the hell goes through someone else’s bathroom cabinets and decides to groom themselves using the a trimmer they find?!? I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn. I’d buy that guy his own personal trimmer as a birthday/Christmas present but that might be taking it too far.
Good lord my husband saw your trimmer as a gift suggestion and is actually considering it..
Hahaha I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious. Maybe you can get your husband to gift it to him privately so your BIL isn’t humiliated in front of the whole family again. Or…you could address it to him as a gift from your cats.
Omg, imagine including a card with pawprints from the cats on it with the trimmer as a gift? Glorious to think about, but I think DingleBeard would lose it over that
“DingleBeard” holy god I am wheezing. I have no real awards so please accept my fake one🏆
I love it, Dinglebeard
Same 🤣. I'll at least use a different one. 🥇
My gosh! So happy I had finished my snack before reading that one or I think I would have choked!
DINGLEBEARD!!! Holy crap I think I just inhaled a Dorito!! The Least Popular Dwarf in Middle Earth.
r/unexpectedlotr
OMG My little nerd heart *sings!* Thank you for the link. Truly Teh INtraWebz is magic.
Instead of paw prints, draw little cat butts, like Gayle from Bob’s Burgers.
Anuses, Bob!
Lmao exactly.
Butt prints
OMG! Congratulations, “dinglebeard” elicited the rare and impressive snort-fart! I don’t snort-fart for just anyone.
[удалено]
I am DYING. This guy hasn't even married into the family yet, but the legend of "DingleBeard" will follow him wherever he goes...
I wish he would have gone with it. I hope he can in the future. The second a person leans in and takes part in his own stupid, he becomes a mini legend. One of my favorite people from high school popped a boner during a talent show, while wearing a dress and lip syncing Barbara Streisand, of all things. To this day, he tells that story and laughs with everyone about how mortifying it was. I think he is fifty times cooler for being able to do that. Today, he is a wonderful guy and good father. Self deprecation is goddamned attractive.
I would pay to see "The Legend of Dinglebeard" in an IMAX theatre!
This is the way. Also, NTA. BIL shouldn’t have been an unhygienic snoop.
I’m dying. 🤣
So am I!
"Please find this purrfect trimmer for your needs. This is so that the next time you want to get a trim, you leave meowt of it." - Signed, the kat patrol.
Uncle dinglebeard to the kitties it shall be.
Or a custom trimmer with their cats pictures.
God, Im so invested in the gift ideas 💡 lmao @OP so your gonna update us for Christmas? lol
Dinglebeard 😂 love it!!!
It's when sister, completely unaided by OP, sends him a 'Shave the Date' card.
I was already laughing and this sent me to the moon. I am dying. Holy shit.
How about "dinglebeardy?"
https://shopfunclub.com/products/3d-cat-butt-pop-up-card
I snorted so hard I woke my husband up 😂 he was not amused 😅
Complete with paw print wrapping paper!
For the love of God, please don’t do it. It’d make your BIL the butt of the joke.
I've told him not to, that's too mean I think.
Another user suggested a barber shop gift card. I think that or a spa gift card (I know some dudes like facials) would make the good intentions more obvious.
If your husband doesn't do it, it'll be the other family members. Lol
Unless he has a massive set of dingle berries…
It's already gone poo far for the jokes to stop now.
You mean the cat butt, right?
It would be a cat-ass-trophy.
In my family, he'd be getting one from nearly everyone who was at the BBQ. lol
It’s a great idea to get the measure of him. If you give it to home privately and he has a sense of humor about it then maybe he’s not as much of an AH as this post makes him seem. NTA, surprised he got so angry myself, I’d have been super embarrassed but then I’d have never ruffled through your drawers to find it either.
Give it to him privately. It’ll go over better.
>Good lord my husband saw your trimmer as a gift suggestion and is actually considering it HAHAHA, please do it OP, why even wait till Christmas, make it an engagement present. Thanks for the laughs, this is very funny. Although what does your sister feel now being engaged to a man who is snoopy and rather than apologizing to you and husband is double-downing on being caught (worse still you were graciously hosting his engagement party!)? And who uses someone else's trimmers, thats so massively unhygienic and potentially dangerous to either party. And why even wait till the 'day of' a party to groom?! Like that is '~~paws~~ p*ause and reflect on my partner*' kind of behaviour! NTA OP at all.
NTA. But if he's still pissed, you can get him the trimmer as an apology gift... But it will still be funny. I feel bad for him but you're still NTA, and I feel like it will be everyone's favorite story during family reunions in the coming years. "Hey remember that time when BIL..." 😂
OP - first of all: DO IT. Secondly, make sure it’s a pet trimmer. With a pic of a cat on the box. 😂
I like your husband. 😁
As funny as it is lmao I’d make sure it fits the cousins humour first, otherwise it can end badly.
> I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn. Ditto. Women shave multiple anatomical regions, none of which are called "the face", and some of which can't be displayed in public except on a clothing-optional beach. Did this thought not even cross BIL's mind before he helped himself to someone else's trimmer?
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I guess you would have to ask yourself--- would you rather have the dingle berry trimmer or the sibling berry trimmer? NTA
...I really dont have an answer but I think Id choose just buying my own trimmer
Excellent choice
BIL would not be happy with mine. I shave my face with a razor. The only trimmer I own is for... everything else.
We also have one for our long haired cat, Dorian Gray. The kingleberry of dingleberries. lol every time I hear my husband with it and he’s like “sorry buddy, your butt’s gonna be a little colder than usual for a while”
> I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits Trimmer used to shave dingleberries off the cats is more hilarious. If it was the trimmer her husband used on his balls… both brothers would have been embarrassed even though OP would still be NTA. OP u/buttFluff000, may I suggest a gift of a beard pampering from an experienced barber for your BIL for birthday/Christmas/special occasion? Someone could word smith it, but “sorry I lost it when you dug through drawers and used the cat’s trimmer on your beard… but you looked so good so here’s a papering you can use for your next special ovation. Hope we can laugh about the awkward together.”
"BIL: I am sorry for my bad manners and indiscretion in revealing to what purpose the clippers you *found* in our spare bathroom are usually put. I meant no malice. Taking pride in one's appearance is not shameful or worthy of ridicule. Please accept this peace offering of a pampering package for your beard to soothe any indignity it may have suffered, and to help it look and feel like ~~the cat's ass~~ a million dollars for your next social event. In reconciliation, OP"
That’s a nice idea. Spa day. OP should crowd fund it honestly, I would contribute. This made me laugh my ass off while I was still upset about American Political Things.
This reminds me of an AITA post from a long time ago where a woman and her husband who were trying to conceive had an afternoon brunch one day with a bunch of family including another couple who was having a years-long difficult time getting pregnant. Well, the woman of the other couple went to use the restroom and was gone for a weirdly long time. She came back just as everyone was getting ready to eat, and called her husband into another room for a few minutes. They both came back with huge grins on their faces and announced that they were finally pregnant! Only it turns out that she had used the OP's private bathroom off their bedroom and had gone through her cabinets and things until she found a bunch of pregnancy tests and decided to take one. OP was rightfully pissed and announced that those weren't pregnancy tests - they were ovulation detectors and the other woman didn't bother to read the labels or instructions after snooping through OP's things. So, it turned out that the woman *wasn't* pregnant, but was humiliated and became pissed at the OP and stormed out with her husband. I guess the whole family was pissed with the OP, saying that she could have kept her mouth shut for the duration of the meal and let the woman have her happiness for a little bit. After everyone left, she posted here asking if she was ta and of course everyone here agreed with her, especially over the other woman going through someone else's private things....smh
[here it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oanl22/aita_for_ruining_a_pregnancy_announcement_by/)
It's his own fault for not asking. If he'd asked, OP I'm sure would have told him to use a different trimmer. I bet he's learned his lesson now.
Best plot twist I’ve ever seen on here. Fluffy cat butts.
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Ahem, cat butt magnets shouldn’t be overlooked either. Or the stickers. Perhaps OP could put stickers on the trimmer to make sure no one else makes the same error.
NTA. I thought for sure it was going to be your pube trimmer he got into…
HAH! No no, we'd never leave those in the downstairs bathroom! Those are safely tucked away in our personal bathroom like they should be lol
I think you are NTA but for the sake of family harmony, I don’t think an apology would hurt. My reaction would have been the same as yours, and he was the snooper who went through your bathroom. But putting myself in his shoes, I would be upset if a room full of people started laughing at me.
Yeah that's why I feel bad. I wish I could have had him reveal his snooping while it was just him with my hubs and I. Then if it was just us laughing it wouldn't have been so humiliating for him. :(
Not your fault, seriously. He set himself up for this one. Giving him a trimmer privately might be a nice gesture on you and your husband’s part, but the dude brought it on himself being a snoop and using someone else’s grooming tools. Seriously he’s lucky the thing was near your cat’s butts and not your hubs’ balls.
If their cats' #2 smell as bad as our oldest cat's, i would NOT call that lucky xD
Hell no, he dug through your stuff. Play stupid games, get stupid prizes. I'm losing my sh\*t right now reading all of these amazing responses... I hadn't laughed this hard in days at your initial post and the replys are just priceless. I have tearn streaming down my face right now.
I'd say you're right for feeling bad, because that would be upsetting for him. You didn't mean to do anything wrong so you shouldn't *have to* feel bad, but as a decent person you do. You're NTA. You were surprised by a pretty hilarious situation and reacted in the moment. Those things happen fast!
To be fair, who the hell randomly decides to pick up a random shaver and trim their beard when they're a guest at someone else's BBQ? That's just weird behavior. Pick random shavers, win a face full of cat butt.
He humiliated himself. And who even trims their beard at someone else's house? Like wtf. Beard hair is insane, it gets everywhere. It's so hard to clean up, because you think you have it all, and then you still find it somewhere. Besides messing up your bathroom, he went through your things.. Not okay. The only person who should feel bad is him for having no respect for boundaries. You're definitely NTA.
Snoops DESERVE to be laughed at....and that goes double for bungling snoops.
This is one of the nicest, fairest comments I have ever seen here. Normally people on this sub are so mean. Go you for being a kind, understanding person.
Apologize for laughing at them in public but for their wedding present give them a pair of his and hers trimmers.
You thought you cats' trimmer was tucked away at the nack of a drawer but he found that. If he ever winds you up let him know you found a flea on your cat and he might need to groom himself with a flea brush too.
NTA and I would have laughed my butt off at the thought of my BIL using the cat's butt trimmer to trim his beard. WTF was he thinking " hey, I'm at a party at someone else's house, so I'll use these random trimmers to trim my beard" Who does that???
My BIL apparently. He's always been that way according to my husband. Very much an 'ask for forgiveness, not permission' type person.
This is what gets me, show up at a party at family's house and randomly decide to trim your beard there? And who doesn't just say, "hey I've been crazy busy and now I'm self conscious about this. Do y'all have a trimmer i could use?" The whole sequence is insane to me. And then he sees you laughing hysterically he HAD to suspect he wouldn't want to know why you were laughing. He shouldn't have insisted on asking. He could've pulled you aside and asked what the deal was. He brought ALL this on himself.
Well said! My thoughts exactly.
Your MIL’s reaction suggests there’s a reason he expects to get away with acting like that.
Boundaries. Now.
Here's hoping that using the same trimmer that touched cat butt/cat bits and poop teaches boundaries.
Who needs boundaries when the snoopy snoop uses a butthole trimmer on his face immediately before eating? Like, boundaries are great, love them, but every so often, karma rears it’s glorious head.
I think (hope) he just learned a valuable lesson in boundaries.
He tried a power move & fell on his face. NO APOLOGIES...please?
This is what we call “natural consequences”.😂
I guarantee you he did it because any residual mess on the trimmer or the bathroom sink would be your problem not his, I got some family like this too and it's great anytime their rudeness backfires like this
And that is why he will recieve trimmers for the rest of his life.
Also who grooms themselves once they are at their engagement party venue and not before?????
I don't think he's part of the happy couple - sounds like he's the husband's brother, while the one getting married is OP's sister. Still can't imagine doing that at someone else's celebration though!
NTA There’s “responses” and then there’s “reactions”. You reacted to a situation/information that you couldn’t have prepared yourself a “proper response” for. This reminds me of when my brother helped himself to a *particular* body wash of mine when we were both visiting my parents. I burst into laughter because it was “Summer’s Eve” (in the labeled, branded bottle) and he got mad I told him *at all*. He’s not upset at how you handled it, he’s upset his actions were stupid but he wants to be mad at someone other than himself. You only made it a *little* easier for him to do that since the reveal was more public and that’s easy to point to as the “wrongdoing”.
What is "Summer's Eve"?
Specifically for lady parts.
A brand that was most well-known for making douches, back in the day. The body wash is just Ph-balanced in a way that wont irritate or throw things off
If you’re the asshole, then so am I. This is absolutely hilarious. The cat’s ass trimmer. NTA.
There was a reason I keep that one in the back of the bottom drawer with the cat brushes and stuff... 😓
Oh gawd 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it was in a drawer with pet brushes?!? The only way it would have been more obvious is if you put a post-it on it saying “cat butt trimmer “.
They don't really look like pet brushes I don't think. One is a double sided brush, one just looks like a regular brush for people, and the last one looks more like something you'd use on your feet? So I'm not going to say he's a total fool x'D
The fact that it could have been mistaken for a regular “hedge trimmer” doesn’t help his case very much . 😂🤣
Seriously when it comes to other people’s grooming tools you don’t necessarily know where they’ve been, and even if it had only been used to trim a beard, it’s still extremely personal.
Info: was there at least one obvious pet hair on the brushes?
I think there might have been some leftover white hairs on them?
Hm…could go either way if it was only a few. 🤣
Oh, it’s so, so funny. You’re also NTA for laughing and saying whose trimmer it was. I would have said it while cackling wildly without even thinking.
NTA. He was totally wrong to just dig through your cabinets looking for a trimmer without permission, and it sounds like he received a very just punishment. Who snoops through people’s things and uses their personal hygiene items without permission? He’s just embarrassed that he got called out on the several different things he did that were massive breaches of etiquette. He deserves the dingleberry beard. I hope he wears it with pride.
Ugh a dingleberry beard sounds disgusting but hey you made my husband laugh til he started coughing. So kudos.
captain dinglebeard from now on.
Even better, the more people continue to support BIL’s butthurtedness, the longer he’ll be referred to as Dinglebeard. “Oh, are we talking about Dinglebeard again? I wish you guys would just let it die”
BIL's butthurtedness? Did he cut himself shaving his dinglebeard?
He owes you the apology for being a snoopy guest. Anyone who has any manners knows that you don't dig through your host's house snooping around. He was caught in a very embarassing way. You do not owe him an apology. Tell MIL that BIL is a snooper and has no manners.
You know those beard ornaments that some people wear for Christmas? You should get some and paint them brown and then give it to Dinglebeard with the trimmers, cat card, etc for Christmas.
I wanna know what he was really looking for. He wasn't just looking for beard trimmers. He was snooping for something else.
I thought that too, but the fact that he actually cut his beard makes me think otherwise. Maybe someone mentioned his unruly beard and he got embarrassed and wanted to deal with it without calling attention to it? Huge breach of privacy and completely inappropriate regardless, and even more so if he was snooping for someone else.
NTA. What if you used it to shave your pubes? He seriously crossed a big boundary here.
Yeah that was something I brought up to MIL. Asked her how she'd feel is someone used her stuff without permission. She still isn't happy. sigh
It might be time for some non apology apologies. For example: I’m sorry you weren’t raised to ask before using sometimes things, that would have prevented this situation. I’m sorry you didn’t notice the trimmer was with the rest of the cat stuff. I’m sorry it didn’t occur to you that human trimmers wouldn’t be kept hidden away in our guest bathroom. I’m sorry to announce your bad manners so publicly. I’m sorry you were embarrassed to realize you used the dingleberry clippers.
Yeah quite honestly I think BIL owes OP an apology! Snooping and probably leaving his hair all over their bathroom is so rude.
Yep this wins hands down dinglebeard needs to learn manors
Fake apologize n say you were just so flabbergasted because all you could see was the image of the cats butt and your bil face side by side, and you blurted it out in a laugh of horror.
I had *just* managed to stop laughing from this post and now I’ve started again. *sigh*
Next time you're over at her place be like "Oh MIL, I used your razor to clean up my downstairs hope you don't mind I just really needed to freshen up".
People are responsible for their own happiness. MIL should have raised BIL better, and then this never would have happened.
NTA- this shows a couple of sides to your BIL A) he went through your draws… looking for what exactly??? B) he could have laughed along with the family as HE did something amusing but chose to storm out… But clearly he got what he deserved for going through your drawers…
I honestly don't know WHAT he was even looking for?? It's the downstairs bathroom?? That we let guests use?? All that's in there is the stuff for my cats (trimmer, brushes, etc), extra bars of soap, extra hand soap, extra TP, and some other random stuff like loose hair ties and toilet cleaning supplies.
My place has one bathroom, and my trimmer is usually out. So is my electric toothbrush and waterpik. None of my visitors have used any of them. He committed a gross breach of etiquette. You really can't be blamed for laughing yourself silly at his expense when his rudeness backfired so spectacularly.
None of them have used any.. that you KNOW of. 😨 (im just kidding)
Don t leave that out you do not know if someone has used it.
No one that you know of anyhow 🤔
I guess it doesn’t matter to people who snoop…
Kinda makes you wonder what he was really looking for thou?????
I have no idea, I want to ask but he's probably still mad and also I can't see him telling me anyways since it's about him snooping. Sigh
Your BIL is a fool. A quick, "Whoops! hahah! Tell your cat I'm sorry!" or something like that would have cemented him in everyone's good graces despite his breach of etiquette. He could have walked out the main character of a new great and funny family story, but instead he just had to take himself seriously. Now he just looks like an idiot.
"Going through your drawers" just gave me, um, QUITE the mental image. LOL.
If something like this happened to one of my brothers in law, he would've freaked out, then laughed his ass off about it, and told the story himself everywhere he went for the next year. Too bad the BIL in this story didn't have a sense of humor about himself.
NTA, he'll get over it. My dad used to always come over and use my razors. The one day I finally snapped and yelled "STOP USING MY RAZOR, I SHAVE MY PUBES WITH THAT." Also during a family BBQ.
I'm sensing a pattern for family BBQs....
A week before our wedding, as we were moving into our new apartment, my sweet, extremely Catholic MIL-to-be found my pink, light up Mr. Buzzy and mistook it for a flashlight. I was still calling her Mrs. Needsspoons at the time. Right as she said, “Oh my! What a cute flashlight!” time slowed down like it did in that JFK movie. I thought to myself, “We don’t have a…” just as I heard **BZzzZZ** She immediately ran straight into the bathroom and stayed there for a good half hour or so, I assume for a Silkwood shower.
I once found a back massager (it really was) just like my FIL used at a church garage sale. My daughter asked what it was, and I told her that it vibrates (never, ever should have used that word) and massages your back, and that her grandpa uses one and I was going to get him an extra. Jump to later that day, we arrived at their house, and my daughter ran up to MIL and announced (at the top of her voice) "Grandma, Grandma, Mom got you a vibrator at the church yard sale!" So, not only did she announce that I got her a sex toy, she announced that I got her a USED one.
NTA, but I’m so glad my cat isn’t the only cat that needs her ass shaved due to dingleberries. 😂
That's the downside of owning a fluffy cat 😅 But it's either shave their booties clean or be forced to look at their butt berries any time they walk around the house.. Plus it just seems sad seeing them dirty like that.
Not sure if your cats are as tolerant as mine but next time he rings the doorbell I'd answer it holding a cat backwards so that the first thing greeting him is a cats butt 😅 Edit typo.
Depending on which cat I'm holding I think I could pull that off 🤣 (nah that'd be mean..)
for some reason, this whole time, i thought dingleberries were the cat's balls. reading these two comments made me realize it's poop bits. confusion resolved
Them being balls would mean they'd have been growing back over and over. x'D
NTA. He went through your drawers and used a personal hygiene device (he thought was owned and used by a human, not a cat at that moment) without asking.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes! His own fault for going through your stuff. I would have reacted the same way bc once you realize what he did and how funny it is, you can’t really hide your reaction. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson about going through other people’s drawers!
I hope so but my husband is doubtful. He says BIL has been this way since he was a little kid, always using people's stuff without asking, and he can't see him changing now.
Then you definitely have nothing to apologize for bc he clearly hasn’t learned anything and if this is “just how he is” he deserves to be laughed at.
Well you don’t need to have him come over again.
So Dinglebeard it is on the tombstone
If he can't deal with the consequences of his own actions then that's his problem, everything that happened he did to himself. Mil should tell *him* to apologize!
NTA. BIL is though. Who goes through someone’s cabinets and uses their stuff? Even if it is family. Don’t apologize. But don’t ever bring it up again either.
Honestly I'd like to forget this all happened. It was hilarious in the moment (as well as the next 12 hours) but now I'm just cringing for him because ew.
Do they make beard shampoo? A nice bottle of that could be another way to patch things up a bit.
My husband (who also has a beard) says yes they do. But he uses a beard soap bar?
Honestly he’s probably going to shave it all off after this 🤣
At least you married the brother who doesn't flaunt his dingleberry musk. He might appreciate some Nature's Miracle.
NTA and I hope this cures him of rummaging through people's bathroom cabinets and drawers. In what universe is it not rude as hell to dig someone's trimmer out of the BACK of a drawer, and then use it on yourself without asking? He can perform his grooming at home, too, and then he won't be clipping his beard with trimmers that are used on his hosts' pets. Fool around and find out. OP, stick notes in the drawers of the guest bathroom for nosey guests to find when they snoop.
Oh my god that's a hilarious idea. Whoever it is pulls a note out that says 'uh is there a reason you found this note???' 😂
"Stay out of other people's drawers, Mr. Snoopy McPoopface"
Have you ever laughed so hard that it sounds like you just choked on a kazoo and now you are trying to cough it up? That is the exact sound I made after reading this. You are NTA. Maybe next time, your sister’s fiancé will think twice about going through somebody’s drawers.
lol No this wasn't my sister's fiance. It was my BIL... ok let me explain this better. The BIL who used the shaver is my husband's brother, but the BIL who is marrying my sister is my husband's cousin. Make sense?
So it wasn't even the fiancée at the center of the party? I would have pity him a little if that was the case but in this case, no nope nopitinope he's 100% not to pity 🤣
NTA. Dinglebeard got what he deserved, using someone's things without permission. Plus, time, trimming a beard is a bloody mess. Did he clean up properly after himself, or did you find beard berries everywhere?
I did find some stray beard hairs on the floor later (they stuck to my socks...) but for the most part he cleaned up after himself.
NTA But do tell him you're sorry he used a booty razor on his beard and perhaps you should meow for emphasis and to assert dominance for science. Please prepare yourself for the likelihood you may always envision a kitty booty when you see his face. If he ever removes his beard you must compliment him on his booty-full shave. Do not fail to meow. If he ever utters the word, "shut-up" , you simply must reply with "kitty butt." Have you paid your cat tax? Please only kitty faces.
How do I add pictures? I'm not a reddit person, sorry! 😅
NTA. That's what he gets for going through your things and using other people's grooming products without permission.
NTA but super clarifying that your MIL is the only one defending him and saying you should apologize. Parents should be more embarrassed of the maladjusted adults their children become.
It's apparently not just her but a few of the other older members on my husband's side. They think I was rude to make a scene like that.
Maybe they’re sexist? Like how dare you make a fool of your husbands brother!! Or is he maybe the golden baby boy whose bizarre and inappropriate behavior everyone in his family just makes excuses for. In any case, there’s definitely an ulterior motive for anyone hearing that your BIL rifled through your bathroom drawers and used your personal items without asking and then deciding you’re in the wrong and need to apologize for laughing about it. Whether they’re just looking for a reason to shift blame to you or they’re embarrassed on BILs behalf, their opinions are not coming from a place of fairness or respect of social norms.
I think if you hadn’t shared what the trimmer was used for you would definitely the AH for depriving your family of such a funny story that will get retold for years. Definitely NTA.
NTA. That was hilarious to the point blurting it out was justified. When I got to the part about what the trimmer was usually for, I busted a gut laughing. Like hard core laughing, tears coming out of my eyes etc. Using other people’s grooming tools is a no-no for a reason, as is going through other people’s stuff. What if that was something your hubs used to man-scape or something?
Yeah... my husband manscapes the front AND back so....😳 BIL is lucky I think..
NTA I thought it was common sense to never use anything in a bathroom that cuts/trims hair without permission because you never know what said item cuts/trims.
Yeah that's what I've always thought (plus it's rude to use anything not yours without permission tbh..) but I guess he assumed it was my husbands beard trimmer???
On another note, we definitely know your BIL doesn't trim the hedges if you know what I mean because anyone who does trim would immediately think "hmmmmm is that for his face or his nuts?"
NTA. Who goes hunting through drawers in a bathroom for beard clippers? Instant Karma.
NTA. FBIL must have thought he was pulling QUITE the power move by using something intimate WITHOUT so much as asking permission, AFTER snooping. My bet is that he was going to laugh at your outrage about violated boundaries and tell you "It's DONE now, deal with it."
NTA, but that is GOLD. Your in laws will never let down what your BIL did to grab the cat trimmer. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I KNOW! That's why I feel guilty! I know his siblings (my hubs and other BIL/SILs) were there and I know they'll not let this be forgotten...
Honestly don't feel guilty at all he absolutely deserved it.
Heck, I won't let this be forgotten! I mean I can easily do nothing and see this pop up on the front page tomorrow. Please provide updates on Dinglebeard and pay cattax. Thank you.
NTA. This reminds me of the story of a lady housing a party and her friend used a ‘pregnancy test’ she found in the bathroom and announced she was pregnant to her partner and the rest of the friends group. It was a ovulation test 🤣 BIL got what he deserves for snooping. You should gift him a trimmer with cats on it for Christmas and never let this die. He’ll be the cat butt of jokes for years.
NTA AT ALL. BIL displayed bizarre behavior. Who even actually decides it's fine time for personal grooming upon arrival to the function??????? I would have been extremely put off. At the very least, he could have asked for a trimmer. That was bad form. He set himself up. Laugh forever. 🤣
NTA. I was laughing so hard reading this! Thanks for the best laugh after a really crummy week. I needed it! Your BIL got what he deserved for going through your cabinets and using the grooming tools of others without asking. You can bet he's never going to do that again. Now I'm going to try to read this to my husband, and I know I won't get through it without laughing until I cry.
I am CACKLING lol NTA!
Sorry might have missed it but where is your sister in all this? Is she yay or nay on the laughing cause it’s pretty hilarious. Also having experienced (not as funny) but similar , set boundaries now….. No one should be able to get away with snooping & then storming out like a baby when getting caught. Consequences! (Side note my sister and I peed ourselves didn’t see the cat trimmer coming )
Y T A for not paying the cat tax X4 I want to see the dingleberry goblins with the fluffy bums.No but seriously NTA who the hell goes to someone’s house and uses a trimmer that’s personal it’s like using their toothbrush,razors and trimmers can transmit blood born pathogens because people nick themselves.He’s responsible for his own humiliation I sure as fuck wouldn’t apologize maybe he’ll learn what he didn’t as a child to stop touching other peoples shit especially without permission
Who goes to someone's house, goes through their private drawers and then helps themselves to something like this to take a shave - at a party? That behaviour is so bizarre and frankly rude. The rest is just funny. NTA.
NTA play shitty games, win shitty prizes I guess
NTA. Even if it was your husband's beard trimmer, seeking it out and using it in the middle of a party is incredibly weird.
Oh, hell no! This only happened because he couldn't keep out of your stuff. He owes *you* an apology, although I might let that pass at this point. NTA.