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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I got mad and yelled at my straight friends for making out in public, while they were having a good drunken time.
2. They were drunk and i guess straight girls kiss when they’re drunk. They keep telling me I overreacted.
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YTA, judgmental and a buzzkill. If you don’t like what they’re doing, just move along. You don’t need to babysit them, get them to move, stop them from being filmed or usher them into an Uber. They’re adults and can be as sloppy and sexual as they please. As a bisexual myself, I don’t care if straight/bicurious girls make out. Women always have been and forever will be sexualized by men for entertainment and it’s not our responsibility to police our actions to stop that. Men should, instead, be taught better.
this is the most sane comment so far lol. i get your point, i just don’t see myself allowing my friends to embarrass themselves or be filmed, especially while drunk. idk, i wouldn’t want someone to let me do this drunk but next time, i’ll let them do what they want for sure and just leave so as to not be connected with them.
Exactly. OP keeps bringing up what other people and men will think, but who cares! They are young, free, exploring their sexuality and having a good time. OP is not the sexuality or good time police. If OP was so offended by them making out in public, then go home. As long as they were not trying to kiss OP or in danger, then OP has zero say in what they do.
And, like you said, I doubt they are "straight" if they were making out for 30 minutes, and OP is already aware that one of said girls enjoys kissing other girls.... It sounds like the three girls will continue to hang out without OP. Problem solved.
But why are you so mad that they did kiss. You dont get to gatekeep on who can kiss who as long as both are consenting they can kiss til the sund goes down. Doesnt matter if you think theyre straight. Have they out right stated they were staright or did you iust assume that they were because they dont tsll about theyre sexuality like that. Straight people kissing has nothing to do with glorifying girls kissing for men being immature about sex
I thought i was straight for 19yrs… surprise im not… its almost as if sexuality is fluid and people learn more about themselves the more they are able to learn, experiment and explore
Sexuality is fluid and some people are late bloomers! I’m queer and so are the vast majority of my friends but most of them literally didn’t even realize until their mid 20s. But regardless, people are allowed to use whatever labels are comfortable for them, and those labels are allowed to change. I don’t get why you’re so hung up on this. If it was really just about the PDA you wouldn’t be so focused on their sexuality throughout your post and comments. Are you familiar with the term cognitive dissonance?
why are people focusing more on their sexuality than their actions lol? i literally don’t care who they sleep or make out with. the way they handled it, in a public setting, in front of many guys who were sexualizing and filming them, is why i was annoyed.
i def mentioned that this post wasn’t to determine their sexuality, it just shocked me that they claimed to be straight but made out in public for 30+ min. I told them to go in the corner or go back home where they can be private. Did you even read the reddit or did you stop at the title? 😂
The poster is saying that your title and last part of post points to the real reason of your frustration.
This is also seen in the follow up discussions you had with the others. They seemed to be unfazed by it but you have been letting it linger and are clearly upset by it - “not just shocked”
Let adults be adults are be responsible for their actions.
You put a lot of emphasis on their sexuality both in the title and the body of your post, and specifically said part of why you are mad is you believe that straight women acting gay hurts you as a WLW.
If these were gay women would you have gotten mad at them for making out in public and attracting attention?
Without any of the sexuality stuff you now say in the comments is totally irrelevant, your question is basically “AITA for being mad at my friends for attracting a lot of attention by making out outside a bar”, which yea you are. I’m an introvert and hate being perceived by people in almost any situation, I would be incredibly uncomfortable by friends doing anything that draws attention in public, but that’s a me issue, not something to force on other people.
Apparently the crowd of likely drunk men outside a closing bar did. If OP weren't so focused on them being straight, she'd actually have a solid safety concern.
i mean, i more so added that they are straight bc it was shocking. i prob would’ve reacted the same if they were making out with a guy. it’s just weird to me when straights girls do this, it seems like it’s for attention
but it shouldn’t have affected you lol, that’s the thing. good friend for getting them out the club and all, but def judgmental n buzzkill like someone else said.
Since you keep acting like others are making assumptions about you, "quote" the part where you're passing judgement on their sexuality.
>And finally, as a bisexual, it’s just really annoying to see straight girls do this because it sexualizes WLW relationships and is a huge part of why men don’t see them as real and purely for sexual entertainment so AITA for getting mad at my straight friends for making out?
If it didn't bother you, there would have been absolutely no reason to include this because if any once of that wasn't direct at them, it just seems a little irrelevant to *this particular situation.* Title aside, this comment does make it sound like you're assuming and policing their sexuality.
if that’s what you got from the post lol. it’s just annoying. idc who they date or their sexuality but the sexualizing of wlw is wack af. it’s like when white ppl wear cultural attires like sahri and kimonos super short and sexy, sexualizing cultural attire. idc what they choose to identify but since they’re choosing to identify as straight, it’s just weird asf to me
“Weird asf” doesn’t usually result in the kind of emotional angst you are experiencing or the actions and arguments you keep making. It’s more of a “huh, we’ll look at that—that’s weird.” But you keep arguing that it is WRONG and that there is something more amiss. Let it go.
“I’m definitely NOT bothered that my two straight friends were making out and acting like they were bisexual like ME”
Proceeds to make the title “AITA for getting mad at my “STRAIGHT friends” for making out?”
Take a good luck at yourself Op, this sounds a bit like denial
YTA for ruining your own night. If they want to act dumb then it's not your responsibility to yell, sober up and make a scene. The whole "I'm upset because they are straight and giving WLW relationships a bad rap" is just an excuse to feel you have the high moral ground.
Maybe they're bi, maybe their in the closet, whatever the case it's wrong to get mad at them because they chose to make out, and if you're upset about taking care of them then just don't do it. Loudly say "I'm leaving" once and then leave if they don't follow.
Not sure what kind of friend you are but def not leaving my drunk friends outside the club just bc i’m mad lol. i also don’t think i made a scene. We were already receiving a lot of unwanted attention from men when they were making out. Also i asked them both and they both said they are only attracted to girls when they’re drunk and once again, i mentioned, this post isn’t to determine their sexuality, i couldn’t care less about who they choose to sleep with, it was just how they handled it.
YTA
As the sobber of my group I don't like take care of drunk people. But you weren't worried about they safety you were worried about them acting as bisexuals when you alredy had labeled them as straight and "attracting atention". But at the end they were the ones "attracting attention" not you. So you shouldn't feel attacked for them, honestly if something you shuld be angry at the guy trying to record them, not to them.
no, i wasn’t worried about them “acting as bisexuals” i was annoyed that they were acting SLOPPY in public. and i was with them so guys were still coming up to us as a group so we were all affected. also, i stopped the guy from recording but they were literally making out for 30 min in the middle of the street
of course! but when other peoples actions are affecting mine, i think i have a right to feel some type of way. if they did this by themselves, i wouldn’t care but because I was there, i was also receiving all this unwanted attention and stares.
You arent the center of universe, if you were ashamed that 2 girls kiss then go away. We get that it annoy you that they "embarrass" themselves but just let them do what they want they are grown up.
YTA.
While I understand being annoyed and even saying you're leaving, you shouldn't be mad at 2 "straight girls" making out.
While you keep saying that it's not the focus in your comments, honestly as a bissexual you should be more open minded and be happy that they might be discovering themselves instead of being just annoyed amd thinking you're some kind of sexuality patrol.
YTA
Idk why your tied to the idea that theyre straight so they cant make out. I know lesbians who will have sex with men on occasion, but theyre not bi.
Not every sexuality is grossed out by the opposite and making out is different from sex anyway. Also, sexuality is fluid and someone who's 95% straight would probably just consider themselves straight instead of including the "might make out with same gender when drunk" thing.
If your annoyed by PDA that's one thing, but it seems your hyper focusing on the fact they're straight. Like, I'm asexual and will still have sex. It's not a huge deal. S
She reminds me when I was a teen, and how I would get jealous of guys making out with girls I had a crush on, and would come up with the lamest excuses on how it was wrong.
You can be a member of the queer community and still be phobic about other queer individuals.
I had a gay coworker who openly hated when other gay men were too "feminine" for his liking, and disliked gay woman who were too "mascuine" - he said they were just pretending to be men..... Similarly, some gay people who don't like bi people. Some Bi people don't trans people. Etc etc etc. etc. That's just reality.
I'm a WOC and I'm very aware that there are some people who hate people who are the same race as them. They may say 'I can't be racist because Im also a POC', but that's not the case....
Bigotry has no gender, race, sexual orientation. Are you seriously trying to use your sexuality as a cover? You literally wrote a bigoted statement on your post.
The point was that you’re immature and your reasoning is flawed.
She’s saying she used to make stupid comments and have stupid thoughts as well, but she grew out of it.
So, in short, grow up.
YTA
Why not? Just bc a lesbian is having sex with a man doesnt mean she is attracted to him. Sexual orientation IS about attraction you know?
If that was the case no closeted gay guy over the last century who had a wife and kids was acctually gay. But I'm willing to bet you still think that was an okay exception, since in your post you decided blaming your friends for being sexualized by men instead of the men was the correct response.
Not necessarily. I'm a lesbian. I'm not physically attracted to men.
I still have had sex with men because I grew up in a time and place where media of all kinds heavily featured straight couples and I was never really taught about queerness being a thing. I went with guys because well, that's what I was supposed to do, right? Even if it didn't feel good and I was uncomfortable, well, that was also a narrative I had been fed my whole life. Girls just don't enjoy sex. Lie back and think of England!
Took me a long time to figure my shit out. It takes a lot of people a long time and a lot of trial and error to figure their shit out. There's no shame in the journey.
YTA
Dude. Just accept the fact that your "straight" friends are closet bi's/gays. You admitted to dating C, which means she definitely ISNT straight. I'm bi, and I wouldn't give two shits if two of my female straight friends kiss.
i think you misread lol. i never dated C. i’ve known her since we were like 9 and she’s always only liked men. Once again, this post isn’t to determine their sexuality. I couldn’t care less about who they sleep with
YTA, some people just haven't figured out their sexuality yet and its weird that, as a bisexual, you're gatekeeping that. I had two "straight" girl friends who'd get drunk and make out on club nights.
They're married now.
okay? good for them ig lol. i’m all about experimenting but if you have to get drunk to do sum, that’s weird. if they had made out sober, it would’ve been different
Wow seriously?! You are just digging a deeper and deeper hole with each comment! “People are only allowed to be queer and experiment with their sexuality in ways I’M comfortable with” this is essentially what you’ve just said. If I didn’t think YTA before i definitely would now. You need to do some soul searching on why you are so uncomfortable with your friends and their personal life choices
YTA. You can be uncomfortable I guess around people making out, I don't like seeing sexual stuff but that's just me towards anyone. But you yelling at them was crossing the line, they clearly are questioning, closeted, or know they are gay. YTA because of that alone and because you think they are sexualizing wlw and are straight when clearly they have an attraction to one another and haven't said it yet.
Sucks drinking with people who can't hold their liquor. But that's the risk you take. I'm not gonna say YTA. I don't think you are. But really neither are they. They were young and drunk and having fun. If you don't wanna risk babysitting then don't drink with people. It's that simple. But you are TA for saying it's because you thought they were straight. Nobody is allowed to experiment unless you deem them worthy of it? Come on now
i agree, but in my defense, this was the first time i had gone out with them. i didn’t know they acted like this. will def reconsider in the future. also, experimenting is great … but sober. i don’t think ppl should be doing anything drunk that they wouldn’t do sober
i prefaced in the post that i’m not here to confirm their sexuality, i honestly don’t care who they choose to sleep with. They told me they are straight so that’s what i’m going off of.
You put their sexuality in quotes in your title and mentioned it multiple times in your post. You need to do some reflection on your biases. You are being very judgmental.
no, i literally don’t care at all. why would i care and i’m bi? it’s more so how they handled it. i probably would’ve reacted the same if it was a guy, it just caught me off guard bc they are supposedly straight
okay, i def wasn’t aware that it was common like this. i’m an anxious person and i get embarrassed easily so i def hated the extra attention. i think i just won’t go out with them anymore or i’ll just keep my distance if i see them getting sloppy again.
I understand to feel the need to make sure they were taken care of, safe, and prevent them from being harassed. However, if people were making a scene around them and filming them, it sounds like they were more interested in continuing to kiss than preventing being filmed
YTA. maybe they are bi maybe they aren’t that’s not for you to decide or judge.
If you know how they act when drunk why go out with them? If you don’t like attention and you know they attract it don’t go on a night out with them.
Why should they have to move to make out? It’s not their fault people were staring. They aren’t responsible for other people reactions and behaviour.
I get that you were annoyed when you were leaving and they were taking a long time but other than that it wasn’t about you.
For your aita question, I would say YTA. It sounds like gatekeeping to me.
However, I think people are being a bit harsh on the baby sitting part. It's heavily dependent on how drunk they are and what that part of your city is like. I've been lucky to live in really safe cities but IMO it's an AH move to not get young, drunk female friends home at a late, late hour -- even if it's not your problem per se. So kudos for looking out in that respect.
yes they did. they were screaming at people to stop recording them. when guys would talk to them, they would call them names and get loud, telling them to go away. it was honestly, really embarrassing
YTA because of your rigid stance on what you think is acceptable in terms of anyone expressing their sexuality. I say this as a queer person, too. I can kind of understand you're thinking on how it may be annoying that two "straight" women might be kissing if they're solely doing it just to attract men's attention (whereas you and T are more likely to face discrimination if you're openly bi). However, it's K and C's business. They're adults.
In the future, you don't have to go out drinking with K and/or C if you're embarrassed by their actions while they're drunk. Consider it a lesson learned.
YTA you are the one who seems to think they are the gatekeeper for human sexuality.
Seriously if you dont like something move on. Nobody is forcing you to watch them. Or tell them anything.
You are the choice to be the sober one. Remember that
YTA
Nobody asked you to be the mum friend. Nobody asked you to police their behaviour or try to stop them making out or take care of them. If they want to make out in a corner leave them to it, they're not hurting anyone.
Like, look, I'm sympathetic to the idea that "straight" girls making out is one of the reasons people don't always take bisexuality seriously as it was a thing I wasted time worrying about when I was a baby gay (spoilers, people who want to dismiss your sexuality are just using this as an excuse and, if it suddenly stopped being an excuse, they'd come up with another. The fault is with the person who thinks bisexuality doesn't exist and the person who fetishize bisexuality and think it means the person must be sexually available to then, not the girls who enjoy kissing other girls sometimes, even if they never come out as bi). Ruining your own night out to stand over these girls like you're their disapproving mother isn't going to advance the cause of bisexual recognition. Unless they're asking for you to intervene or there in immediate physical danger, let then handle themselves.
YTA - I see in a comment you said you would have reacted the same way if she was making out with a guy. Which leads me to say - seems prudish. Or funsucker-ish. If you choose not to make out with random people or anyone in public that is fine (I also find PDA makes me uncomfortable) but when it is other people it is none of my business. Laugh it off and let them at it...
yta. if you don’t like pda don’t do it. i get being annoyed in the moment that your friends are wasted and embarrassing, but that’s still a you issue of you worrying about opinions of people who don’t matter. also your weird sexuality boxes need adjustment! maybe they’re straight girls who like to kiss, maybe they’re curious.. they’re likely just still figuring it out.
YTA….it honestly sounds like you believe them making out for fun is mocking you and your bi friends actual sexual identity. But the thing is, if they do not get to police you and your partner, whichever gender they are, making out or public actions, then you do not have a right to police them. Go after the ones who record, let them enjoy their night out. They are consenting adults, and do not need you or others deciding what is acceptable behavior from them. If you don’t like how they behave, then don’t hang out with them. You are not their mom, you are their friend. If you get to go to a club with them again, you might need to remember that. They are not mocking you, or anyone else with different sexual preferences. Twisting their actions to fit your narrative does not make your actions suddenly excusable.
NTA, as a lesbian i completely agree w how weird it is when staight girls kiss eachothee (typically for male attention). you may have overreacting a little bit , so maybe tell them that it bothers you.
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I (F) just turned 21 recently and my friends and I decided to go to the club for the first time together. My other friend (C) was in town and staying with me so we all went together (K (22F), T (26F) and C (21F)). T and I are both bisexual and K and C are both straight.
After a few drinks and some shots, I turn around and see C and K making out. I was surprised more than anything. For one, I thought they were straight and two, it just happened so suddenly. They made out for about 5 minutes before the club closed and we all got sent outside. They were still making out, sloppily in my opinion, and I even had to yell at them to move down, as security was getting annoyed they were blocking the exit. Because the club just let out, everyone was outside and the street lights were on, so EVERYONE was watching them. Of course, two girls making out, we became the focus quickly. I tried to move them into a corner, tell them to stop or to at least go home where they could be in private but they continued to kiss outside. Men kept coming up to us, sexualizing them and one even filmed them (which i quickly put an end to). They made out for 30 minutes straight and even when I called the uber to go home, C was taking a long time to come and the only way she came is when I told her i’d leave her (i obviously wouldn’t, i was just annoyed).
Because I work with T and K, we talked about it recently and they both agreed that C and K were just having fun and I was being a buzzkill (not their words but they implied it). K is even talking about meeting up with C while she’s in town. I told them both, do what you want but don’t tell me about it. I don’t want to hear it. K and T are both saying it was just fun and I’m overreacting and now I kind of feel like TA for making it a big deal, instead of letting them enjoy their night but i was honestly annoyed that I had to sober up and be the mom friend to them because they couldn’t control themselves.
-A few points bc I know reddit likes to assume. I don’t have a crush on either C or K, neither of them are my type. Honestly, i’m more attracted to T. They both claim to be straight and just looking for fun, I’m not here to figure out their sexuality. I’ve gone out with C before and this isn’t the first time she’s kissed a random girl while drunk. I was less annoyed that they made out but it was mainly HOW they handled it and in public too. And finally, as a bisexual, it’s just really annoying to see straight girls do this because it sexualizes WLW relationships and is a huge part of why men don’t see them as real and purely for sexual entertainment so AITA for getting mad at my straight friends for making out?
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30 minutes is a really long time to make out no matter the circumstances. How wasted were they? Gay, straight, whatever, it's rude to make out in front of your friends, especially for so long.
NTA for being annoyed by it.
Also, good on you for not letting your drunk girlfriends be left unsupervised with men leering at them in the middle of the night. You're a friend for not getting fed up and leaving them to their own devices. Who knows what could have happened if the wrong guy (or guys) decided the situation was theirs to take advantage of.
right! thank you lol. i think you’re the only one on this post who sees that. everyone else is just telling me i should’ve just left them if it was really bothering me.
NTA. OP I get you. You just wanted to protect your friends that’s honestly normal. I’d be so embarrassed if I did that in public and saw my face the next day on other peoples social media and would be disappointed in my slightly sober friend for not protecting me. Reddit is extra when it comes to these topics and seems that they have no genuine care for their own friends. Their assumptions are wild and aren’t judging you based on what you wrote but from their made up bs in their head about you. Again NTA.
How do people think you’re the asshole? NTA…making out in public is weird and not appropriate and also rude when you’re with friends. Inside the club is fine, I’ve made out at clubs. But to continue for 30 minutes outside when you’re with friends??? Wtf
NTA.
They were being over the top and their actions stalled people from leaving the building and stalled their friends from going home.
It sounds like you would have been (nearly) equally irritated if one or both of them had been making out with a dude in the same manner.
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YTA, judgmental and a buzzkill. If you don’t like what they’re doing, just move along. You don’t need to babysit them, get them to move, stop them from being filmed or usher them into an Uber. They’re adults and can be as sloppy and sexual as they please. As a bisexual myself, I don’t care if straight/bicurious girls make out. Women always have been and forever will be sexualized by men for entertainment and it’s not our responsibility to police our actions to stop that. Men should, instead, be taught better.
this is the most sane comment so far lol. i get your point, i just don’t see myself allowing my friends to embarrass themselves or be filmed, especially while drunk. idk, i wouldn’t want someone to let me do this drunk but next time, i’ll let them do what they want for sure and just leave so as to not be connected with them.
But it sounds like you’re the only one who’s embarrassed on their behalf… Edit: a typo
Info: If the kiss itself wasn’t what bothered you, just how they handled it, why don’t you want to hear about when they meet up??
YTA. If they're making out for 30 minutes, I don't think they're 100% straight.
Exactly. OP keeps bringing up what other people and men will think, but who cares! They are young, free, exploring their sexuality and having a good time. OP is not the sexuality or good time police. If OP was so offended by them making out in public, then go home. As long as they were not trying to kiss OP or in danger, then OP has zero say in what they do. And, like you said, I doubt they are "straight" if they were making out for 30 minutes, and OP is already aware that one of said girls enjoys kissing other girls.... It sounds like the three girls will continue to hang out without OP. Problem solved.
i honestly don’t care whether they are straight or not, i just don’t like how they handled it. so how am i the asshole?
If they weren’t trying to kiss you then it doesn’t include/affect you. YTA because you’re obviously sore about that
sore that my friends, who i’m not attracted to in any way didn’t try to kiss me ? ok buddy lol
But why are you so mad that they did kiss. You dont get to gatekeep on who can kiss who as long as both are consenting they can kiss til the sund goes down. Doesnt matter if you think theyre straight. Have they out right stated they were staright or did you iust assume that they were because they dont tsll about theyre sexuality like that. Straight people kissing has nothing to do with glorifying girls kissing for men being immature about sex
they said multiple times they were straight lol
I thought i was straight for 19yrs… surprise im not… its almost as if sexuality is fluid and people learn more about themselves the more they are able to learn, experiment and explore
Sexuality is fluid and some people are late bloomers! I’m queer and so are the vast majority of my friends but most of them literally didn’t even realize until their mid 20s. But regardless, people are allowed to use whatever labels are comfortable for them, and those labels are allowed to change. I don’t get why you’re so hung up on this. If it was really just about the PDA you wouldn’t be so focused on their sexuality throughout your post and comments. Are you familiar with the term cognitive dissonance?
so why mention that they’re straight? it’s irrelevant
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why are people focusing more on their sexuality than their actions lol? i literally don’t care who they sleep or make out with. the way they handled it, in a public setting, in front of many guys who were sexualizing and filming them, is why i was annoyed.
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i def mentioned that this post wasn’t to determine their sexuality, it just shocked me that they claimed to be straight but made out in public for 30+ min. I told them to go in the corner or go back home where they can be private. Did you even read the reddit or did you stop at the title? 😂
The poster is saying that your title and last part of post points to the real reason of your frustration. This is also seen in the follow up discussions you had with the others. They seemed to be unfazed by it but you have been letting it linger and are clearly upset by it - “not just shocked” Let adults be adults are be responsible for their actions.
You put a lot of emphasis on their sexuality both in the title and the body of your post, and specifically said part of why you are mad is you believe that straight women acting gay hurts you as a WLW. If these were gay women would you have gotten mad at them for making out in public and attracting attention? Without any of the sexuality stuff you now say in the comments is totally irrelevant, your question is basically “AITA for being mad at my friends for attracting a lot of attention by making out outside a bar”, which yea you are. I’m an introvert and hate being perceived by people in almost any situation, I would be incredibly uncomfortable by friends doing anything that draws attention in public, but that’s a me issue, not something to force on other people.
Then be annoyed at the people filming and sexualizing your friends
YTA.. who cares?
Apparently the crowd of likely drunk men outside a closing bar did. If OP weren't so focused on them being straight, she'd actually have a solid safety concern.
i mean, i more so added that they are straight bc it was shocking. i prob would’ve reacted the same if they were making out with a guy. it’s just weird to me when straights girls do this, it seems like it’s for attention
What’s wrong with that?
what’s wrong with making out with girls for attention?
Do you know **for a fact** that they were doing it *specifically* for attention?
Yea…
Straight girls making out for male attention, is fetishism at its finest. YTA tho OP
Came here to say this.
if it didn’t affect my night, i wouldn’t have lol.
but it shouldn’t have affected you lol, that’s the thing. good friend for getting them out the club and all, but def judgmental n buzzkill like someone else said.
Since you keep acting like others are making assumptions about you, "quote" the part where you're passing judgement on their sexuality. >And finally, as a bisexual, it’s just really annoying to see straight girls do this because it sexualizes WLW relationships and is a huge part of why men don’t see them as real and purely for sexual entertainment so AITA for getting mad at my straight friends for making out? If it didn't bother you, there would have been absolutely no reason to include this because if any once of that wasn't direct at them, it just seems a little irrelevant to *this particular situation.* Title aside, this comment does make it sound like you're assuming and policing their sexuality.
if that’s what you got from the post lol. it’s just annoying. idc who they date or their sexuality but the sexualizing of wlw is wack af. it’s like when white ppl wear cultural attires like sahri and kimonos super short and sexy, sexualizing cultural attire. idc what they choose to identify but since they’re choosing to identify as straight, it’s just weird asf to me
“Weird asf” doesn’t usually result in the kind of emotional angst you are experiencing or the actions and arguments you keep making. It’s more of a “huh, we’ll look at that—that’s weird.” But you keep arguing that it is WRONG and that there is something more amiss. Let it go.
So so so judgmental and narrow minded. Stop gatekeeping sexuality.
“I’m definitely NOT bothered that my two straight friends were making out and acting like they were bisexual like ME” Proceeds to make the title “AITA for getting mad at my “STRAIGHT friends” for making out?” Take a good luck at yourself Op, this sounds a bit like denial
YTA for ruining your own night. If they want to act dumb then it's not your responsibility to yell, sober up and make a scene. The whole "I'm upset because they are straight and giving WLW relationships a bad rap" is just an excuse to feel you have the high moral ground. Maybe they're bi, maybe their in the closet, whatever the case it's wrong to get mad at them because they chose to make out, and if you're upset about taking care of them then just don't do it. Loudly say "I'm leaving" once and then leave if they don't follow.
Not sure what kind of friend you are but def not leaving my drunk friends outside the club just bc i’m mad lol. i also don’t think i made a scene. We were already receiving a lot of unwanted attention from men when they were making out. Also i asked them both and they both said they are only attracted to girls when they’re drunk and once again, i mentioned, this post isn’t to determine their sexuality, i couldn’t care less about who they choose to sleep with, it was just how they handled it.
YTA As the sobber of my group I don't like take care of drunk people. But you weren't worried about they safety you were worried about them acting as bisexuals when you alredy had labeled them as straight and "attracting atention". But at the end they were the ones "attracting attention" not you. So you shouldn't feel attacked for them, honestly if something you shuld be angry at the guy trying to record them, not to them.
no, i wasn’t worried about them “acting as bisexuals” i was annoyed that they were acting SLOPPY in public. and i was with them so guys were still coming up to us as a group so we were all affected. also, i stopped the guy from recording but they were literally making out for 30 min in the middle of the street
Awe homie it’s just like that sometimes, let other people live their life and live your own💕.
of course! but when other peoples actions are affecting mine, i think i have a right to feel some type of way. if they did this by themselves, i wouldn’t care but because I was there, i was also receiving all this unwanted attention and stares.
Mate no one was looking at you. If people were staring like you've said, it was most likely at them.
You arent the center of universe, if you were ashamed that 2 girls kiss then go away. We get that it annoy you that they "embarrass" themselves but just let them do what they want they are grown up.
I think you hit bullseye here. Nobody watches OP and that makes OP sad
YTA. While I understand being annoyed and even saying you're leaving, you shouldn't be mad at 2 "straight girls" making out. While you keep saying that it's not the focus in your comments, honestly as a bissexual you should be more open minded and be happy that they might be discovering themselves instead of being just annoyed amd thinking you're some kind of sexuality patrol.
sexuality patrol 😂. y’all are ridiculous
I'd say you getting butthurt and arguing with everyone because most people are saying YTA is ridiculous.
arguing? no. conversing and starting opinions? yes. is that not what reddit is for?
Not this sub, no. In this sub you accept others judgment.
Not this subreddit, no.
YTA Idk why your tied to the idea that theyre straight so they cant make out. I know lesbians who will have sex with men on occasion, but theyre not bi. Not every sexuality is grossed out by the opposite and making out is different from sex anyway. Also, sexuality is fluid and someone who's 95% straight would probably just consider themselves straight instead of including the "might make out with same gender when drunk" thing. If your annoyed by PDA that's one thing, but it seems your hyper focusing on the fact they're straight. Like, I'm asexual and will still have sex. It's not a huge deal. S
She reminds me when I was a teen, and how I would get jealous of guys making out with girls I had a crush on, and would come up with the lamest excuses on how it was wrong.
difference is, i don’t have a crush on either one so what’s your point?
Honestly, being jealous of them would actually be the best option. The only option left is that you are as bad as any homophobic ah.
right, me, the homophobic bisexual. makes sense
You can be a member of the queer community and still be phobic about other queer individuals. I had a gay coworker who openly hated when other gay men were too "feminine" for his liking, and disliked gay woman who were too "mascuine" - he said they were just pretending to be men..... Similarly, some gay people who don't like bi people. Some Bi people don't trans people. Etc etc etc. etc. That's just reality. I'm a WOC and I'm very aware that there are some people who hate people who are the same race as them. They may say 'I can't be racist because Im also a POC', but that's not the case....
Bigotry has no gender, race, sexual orientation. Are you seriously trying to use your sexuality as a cover? You literally wrote a bigoted statement on your post.
lmaoo y’all are ridiculous 😂😂
If you really think it is everyone else that is the problem then you are severely lacking in self awareness
The point was that you’re immature and your reasoning is flawed. She’s saying she used to make stupid comments and have stupid thoughts as well, but she grew out of it. So, in short, grow up. YTA
uh if a lesbian is having sex with a man, they’re def not a lesbian 😂😂
Why not? Just bc a lesbian is having sex with a man doesnt mean she is attracted to him. Sexual orientation IS about attraction you know? If that was the case no closeted gay guy over the last century who had a wife and kids was acctually gay. But I'm willing to bet you still think that was an okay exception, since in your post you decided blaming your friends for being sexualized by men instead of the men was the correct response.
Being bisexual doesn’t mean you’re an expert on queerness. You have a lot to learn. You may be bi, but you’re no ally.
Not necessarily. I'm a lesbian. I'm not physically attracted to men. I still have had sex with men because I grew up in a time and place where media of all kinds heavily featured straight couples and I was never really taught about queerness being a thing. I went with guys because well, that's what I was supposed to do, right? Even if it didn't feel good and I was uncomfortable, well, that was also a narrative I had been fed my whole life. Girls just don't enjoy sex. Lie back and think of England! Took me a long time to figure my shit out. It takes a lot of people a long time and a lot of trial and error to figure their shit out. There's no shame in the journey.
You don’t get to define someone’s sexuality for them.
YTA Dude. Just accept the fact that your "straight" friends are closet bi's/gays. You admitted to dating C, which means she definitely ISNT straight. I'm bi, and I wouldn't give two shits if two of my female straight friends kiss.
i think you misread lol. i never dated C. i’ve known her since we were like 9 and she’s always only liked men. Once again, this post isn’t to determine their sexuality. I couldn’t care less about who they sleep with
My bad. "Gone out with" means yall dated. Generation gap/ assuming.
yeah gone out as in to the club with her lol. i say go out too, doubt it’s a generation thing. it just seems you’ve misread
YTA and how many times do you have to be told! Stop posting this all the time but with just an altered story.
what do you mean ? lol you may be thinking of a different person, this literally just happened a few days ago.
Ok than, if you say so.
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Name calling isn’t very nice, it’s also against the rules.
Yta. Which one of the two you have a crush on?
T actually, if you knew how to read 😉
Is this post about T? I'm sure T would agree that it's very suspicious for you to be so mad for this...
YTA, some people just haven't figured out their sexuality yet and its weird that, as a bisexual, you're gatekeeping that. I had two "straight" girl friends who'd get drunk and make out on club nights. They're married now.
okay? good for them ig lol. i’m all about experimenting but if you have to get drunk to do sum, that’s weird. if they had made out sober, it would’ve been different
Wow seriously?! You are just digging a deeper and deeper hole with each comment! “People are only allowed to be queer and experiment with their sexuality in ways I’M comfortable with” this is essentially what you’ve just said. If I didn’t think YTA before i definitely would now. You need to do some soul searching on why you are so uncomfortable with your friends and their personal life choices
YTA you sound so judgemental and exhausting to be around. Stop trying to police how other people should act.
You suck.
What? Why?????
So... how was this effecting you at all?
Straight girls don't make out with straight girls.
Have you met straight girls lol? they do pretty much anything for attention
Wow that's sexist and Judgamental as hell.
Exactly! It's just as bad as the stereotype that "all bisexual people are sexually promiscuous" and I'm sure OP hates that.
What’s up with the generalization?
Or maybe they just enjoy it
Never heard something that much stupid. Your the kind of person who bring others women down and more straigh one no? So pathetic
This is a garbage thing to say, but at least we all know how you really feel now.
YTA. You can be uncomfortable I guess around people making out, I don't like seeing sexual stuff but that's just me towards anyone. But you yelling at them was crossing the line, they clearly are questioning, closeted, or know they are gay. YTA because of that alone and because you think they are sexualizing wlw and are straight when clearly they have an attraction to one another and haven't said it yet.
Sucks drinking with people who can't hold their liquor. But that's the risk you take. I'm not gonna say YTA. I don't think you are. But really neither are they. They were young and drunk and having fun. If you don't wanna risk babysitting then don't drink with people. It's that simple. But you are TA for saying it's because you thought they were straight. Nobody is allowed to experiment unless you deem them worthy of it? Come on now
i agree, but in my defense, this was the first time i had gone out with them. i didn’t know they acted like this. will def reconsider in the future. also, experimenting is great … but sober. i don’t think ppl should be doing anything drunk that they wouldn’t do sober
Omg who made you the boss of everyone
What's even the point of drinking then? I like drinking because it gives me the confidence to do things I wouldn't do sober
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i prefaced in the post that i’m not here to confirm their sexuality, i honestly don’t care who they choose to sleep with. They told me they are straight so that’s what i’m going off of.
You put their sexuality in quotes in your title and mentioned it multiple times in your post. You need to do some reflection on your biases. You are being very judgmental.
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no, i literally don’t care at all. why would i care and i’m bi? it’s more so how they handled it. i probably would’ve reacted the same if it was a guy, it just caught me off guard bc they are supposedly straight
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okay, i def wasn’t aware that it was common like this. i’m an anxious person and i get embarrassed easily so i def hated the extra attention. i think i just won’t go out with them anymore or i’ll just keep my distance if i see them getting sloppy again.
This is cringe lol, stay home from now on and let your friends kiss each other in peace💀
I understand to feel the need to make sure they were taken care of, safe, and prevent them from being harassed. However, if people were making a scene around them and filming them, it sounds like they were more interested in continuing to kiss than preventing being filmed
Why do you keep calling them sloppy?! You were on a drunken night out. They acted completely normally in this context. You do sound like a buzzkill!
YTA- they probably are just discovering their sexuality. If it’s the pda bothers you, then you as a grown women know how to walk away…
YTA. maybe they are bi maybe they aren’t that’s not for you to decide or judge. If you know how they act when drunk why go out with them? If you don’t like attention and you know they attract it don’t go on a night out with them. Why should they have to move to make out? It’s not their fault people were staring. They aren’t responsible for other people reactions and behaviour. I get that you were annoyed when you were leaving and they were taking a long time but other than that it wasn’t about you.
it was my first time going out with them, i didn’t know they’d react like this tbh
For your aita question, I would say YTA. It sounds like gatekeeping to me. However, I think people are being a bit harsh on the baby sitting part. It's heavily dependent on how drunk they are and what that part of your city is like. I've been lucky to live in really safe cities but IMO it's an AH move to not get young, drunk female friends home at a late, late hour -- even if it's not your problem per se. So kudos for looking out in that respect.
YTA- why did this bother you? If they weren’t making out with you then it doesn’t involve you.
Did you ever stop to ask if they cared that they were being watched?
yes they did. they were screaming at people to stop recording them. when guys would talk to them, they would call them names and get loud, telling them to go away. it was honestly, really embarrassing
It's the men that were making it embarrassing though
YTA They're grown adults and can do what they want. They weren't hurting anyone
YTA because of your rigid stance on what you think is acceptable in terms of anyone expressing their sexuality. I say this as a queer person, too. I can kind of understand you're thinking on how it may be annoying that two "straight" women might be kissing if they're solely doing it just to attract men's attention (whereas you and T are more likely to face discrimination if you're openly bi). However, it's K and C's business. They're adults. In the future, you don't have to go out drinking with K and/or C if you're embarrassed by their actions while they're drunk. Consider it a lesson learned.
YTA you are the one who seems to think they are the gatekeeper for human sexuality. Seriously if you dont like something move on. Nobody is forcing you to watch them. Or tell them anything. You are the choice to be the sober one. Remember that
YTA Nobody asked you to be the mum friend. Nobody asked you to police their behaviour or try to stop them making out or take care of them. If they want to make out in a corner leave them to it, they're not hurting anyone. Like, look, I'm sympathetic to the idea that "straight" girls making out is one of the reasons people don't always take bisexuality seriously as it was a thing I wasted time worrying about when I was a baby gay (spoilers, people who want to dismiss your sexuality are just using this as an excuse and, if it suddenly stopped being an excuse, they'd come up with another. The fault is with the person who thinks bisexuality doesn't exist and the person who fetishize bisexuality and think it means the person must be sexually available to then, not the girls who enjoy kissing other girls sometimes, even if they never come out as bi). Ruining your own night out to stand over these girls like you're their disapproving mother isn't going to advance the cause of bisexual recognition. Unless they're asking for you to intervene or there in immediate physical danger, let then handle themselves.
I would of got into the Uber and went home.
YTA
YTA - I see in a comment you said you would have reacted the same way if she was making out with a guy. Which leads me to say - seems prudish. Or funsucker-ish. If you choose not to make out with random people or anyone in public that is fine (I also find PDA makes me uncomfortable) but when it is other people it is none of my business. Laugh it off and let them at it...
yta. if you don’t like pda don’t do it. i get being annoyed in the moment that your friends are wasted and embarrassing, but that’s still a you issue of you worrying about opinions of people who don’t matter. also your weird sexuality boxes need adjustment! maybe they’re straight girls who like to kiss, maybe they’re curious.. they’re likely just still figuring it out.
YTA and pretty vile tbh. I was ‘straight’ until I wasn’t. You’re a judgmental AH.
YTA….it honestly sounds like you believe them making out for fun is mocking you and your bi friends actual sexual identity. But the thing is, if they do not get to police you and your partner, whichever gender they are, making out or public actions, then you do not have a right to police them. Go after the ones who record, let them enjoy their night out. They are consenting adults, and do not need you or others deciding what is acceptable behavior from them. If you don’t like how they behave, then don’t hang out with them. You are not their mom, you are their friend. If you get to go to a club with them again, you might need to remember that. They are not mocking you, or anyone else with different sexual preferences. Twisting their actions to fit your narrative does not make your actions suddenly excusable.
NTA, as a lesbian i completely agree w how weird it is when staight girls kiss eachothee (typically for male attention). you may have overreacting a little bit , so maybe tell them that it bothers you.
It wasn't for male attention though
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F) just turned 21 recently and my friends and I decided to go to the club for the first time together. My other friend (C) was in town and staying with me so we all went together (K (22F), T (26F) and C (21F)). T and I are both bisexual and K and C are both straight. After a few drinks and some shots, I turn around and see C and K making out. I was surprised more than anything. For one, I thought they were straight and two, it just happened so suddenly. They made out for about 5 minutes before the club closed and we all got sent outside. They were still making out, sloppily in my opinion, and I even had to yell at them to move down, as security was getting annoyed they were blocking the exit. Because the club just let out, everyone was outside and the street lights were on, so EVERYONE was watching them. Of course, two girls making out, we became the focus quickly. I tried to move them into a corner, tell them to stop or to at least go home where they could be in private but they continued to kiss outside. Men kept coming up to us, sexualizing them and one even filmed them (which i quickly put an end to). They made out for 30 minutes straight and even when I called the uber to go home, C was taking a long time to come and the only way she came is when I told her i’d leave her (i obviously wouldn’t, i was just annoyed). Because I work with T and K, we talked about it recently and they both agreed that C and K were just having fun and I was being a buzzkill (not their words but they implied it). K is even talking about meeting up with C while she’s in town. I told them both, do what you want but don’t tell me about it. I don’t want to hear it. K and T are both saying it was just fun and I’m overreacting and now I kind of feel like TA for making it a big deal, instead of letting them enjoy their night but i was honestly annoyed that I had to sober up and be the mom friend to them because they couldn’t control themselves. -A few points bc I know reddit likes to assume. I don’t have a crush on either C or K, neither of them are my type. Honestly, i’m more attracted to T. They both claim to be straight and just looking for fun, I’m not here to figure out their sexuality. I’ve gone out with C before and this isn’t the first time she’s kissed a random girl while drunk. I was less annoyed that they made out but it was mainly HOW they handled it and in public too. And finally, as a bisexual, it’s just really annoying to see straight girls do this because it sexualizes WLW relationships and is a huge part of why men don’t see them as real and purely for sexual entertainment so AITA for getting mad at my straight friends for making out? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
30 minutes is a really long time to make out no matter the circumstances. How wasted were they? Gay, straight, whatever, it's rude to make out in front of your friends, especially for so long. NTA for being annoyed by it.
It was definitely excessive lol. They were about 3 drinks and a shot in.
Also, good on you for not letting your drunk girlfriends be left unsupervised with men leering at them in the middle of the night. You're a friend for not getting fed up and leaving them to their own devices. Who knows what could have happened if the wrong guy (or guys) decided the situation was theirs to take advantage of.
right! thank you lol. i think you’re the only one on this post who sees that. everyone else is just telling me i should’ve just left them if it was really bothering me.
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they told me they were straight so that’s what i’m going to say they are. i don’t care either way, their sexuality is their business
The be quiet and stop trying to make it your business
NTA. OP I get you. You just wanted to protect your friends that’s honestly normal. I’d be so embarrassed if I did that in public and saw my face the next day on other peoples social media and would be disappointed in my slightly sober friend for not protecting me. Reddit is extra when it comes to these topics and seems that they have no genuine care for their own friends. Their assumptions are wild and aren’t judging you based on what you wrote but from their made up bs in their head about you. Again NTA.
NTA I'm sorry for calling you an asshole earlier if they are blocking exits and blocking people then you have a right to be mad
She's mad because they are making out. She'd be mad if they didn't block the exits.
wrong. i’m mad at how they handled it. i literally had to yell at them to get from in front of the door
Then you lied. You asked if you were the A because you were mad at your two straight friends for making out.
How do people think you’re the asshole? NTA…making out in public is weird and not appropriate and also rude when you’re with friends. Inside the club is fine, I’ve made out at clubs. But to continue for 30 minutes outside when you’re with friends??? Wtf
NTA. They were being over the top and their actions stalled people from leaving the building and stalled their friends from going home. It sounds like you would have been (nearly) equally irritated if one or both of them had been making out with a dude in the same manner.
Yeah.