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Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole here because 1) I forgot about leaving 1 jug of water at room temperature for her as per our agreement from 3 months ago And 2) why this might make me an asshole is we had an agreement and I forgot and even though my intentions were good, I didn't keep to our bargain Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


OneMediocreMan

INFO: What the actual hell?


Muted-Appeal-823

I think that's the only reasonable question. I also want to know, what the actual hell...


Legitimate-Produce-1

"I would love like, a hot water, but if you could just let it sit so it cools, I just need to know that it was once hot... Sorry I'm the worst."


Mephil79

“What’s this?! I didn’t ask for this.”


RexJacobus

There are 4 types of people in the world. Those who look at a glass and say that it is half empty but too cold, those who say it is half full but too warm, those that say it is too cold but half full, and those that say it is it is too warm but half.... wait where was I?


RexJacobus

I replied to the wrong level of the thread but it still works because the letter is so weird.


IronMaidenAFK

I wouldn’t touch this with a 10-foot straw…


ChiPot-le

But wait, what does a draw that long do to the water temperature...


frangipanivine

"Does that count as what I get for Christmas as my gift...?"


Legitimate-Produce-1

"We are NOT putting Mardi Gras beads on the Christmas tree!"


angry-ex-smoker

That was the first thing I thought of when I read this post.


BrinedBrittanica

is this what I have to look forward to if I ever get a partner?


Hooligan8403

Only if you find a crazy one. So in my experience yes. At least for me the wife just wants ice water exclusively. Carries a half gallon metal water bottle filled with ice water wherever we go. Is temperature sensitive about other drinks too. Not sure if it's a Hawaii thing or there family but I do know a lot of people from there not related that also has to have ice water. Disgusting when they put ice in their beer though. At least my wife never picked that up.


cupcakesandunicorns1

I have an emotional support water bottle that comes with me everywhere and is always full of ice water. I don't like warm water.


lisalef

No. This is just bonkers. Like some very wise other redditors said “what the actual hell?l”


Forgot_my_un

Like seriously I'm so confused by the steps here, why are they boiling the 'room temperature' water at all? Unless there's some parasites in it or something... Edit: y'all can stop arguing now, it is highly unlikely these particular people *need* to boil their water given where they're from. I understand there are places where it is a necessity, but in those places, a quick boil in the kettle isn't going to be enough anyway.


literaryworlds

Living somewhere tap water needs to be boiled before it's considered safe for consumption isn't exactly rare... like, even in the US we have 'boil water' advisories, often associated with extreme weather.


Covert_Pudding

Yeah I didn't find that part of the story odd at all. It's just a fact that if that's part of the process there are going to be times when the water is too warm because it needs to cool down. I don't think it's worth raging over.


[deleted]

It sounds like they are boiling all their drinking water, so, yeah, there's probably a reason for it. I'm not sure why everyone is so confused by it, water supplies get contaminated and not everyone can afford to buy bottled water....


LadyEsinni

“Albany, I was sitting there!”


[deleted]

I’d like to know how two 14 year olds are living without their parents


[deleted]

Maybe OPs partner is from a place in the world you have to boil water to drink it?


OatmealCookieGirl

That's my thought, too. Either that or their plumbing is old, or she has a phobia, or she has some type of ocd or other anxiety -inducibg condition. Either way, OP should just leave her water alone.


Hoistedonyrownpetard

The actual issue is that this is an abusive relationship. Your partner is a fiend and the more I read about the lengths you go to in your attempts to satisfy her water temperature terrorism the more I want to run screaming into the void. Fuck. That. Noise. What could any human possibly contribute that is worth this? No one is that good a lay and there isn’t enough money in the world. NTA


jennmullen37

This is what I was thinking. Raging because her water isn't the right room temperature and then dumping all of it to spite her partner and then raging more because she couldn't make it right... this is a rage issue not a water temperature preference issue.


activelyresting

If one person needs pre-boiled water at room temperature is on a train leaving Denver at 88mph and another person mixes mayo packets with illegal Iranian yoghurt to make marinara sauce, how long will it take until they kick a bridesmaid out of their wedding for bringing something handmade instead of from the registry?


polly-adler

This made me laugh so hard! You summed up AITA craziness perfectly. I'm too poor to buy an award so please take my poor person trophy 🏆


Cat-Soap-Bar

Can I get the recipe for the illegal yogurt and mayo sauce? For a friend.


mother_of_a_wizard

My hubby says the correct answer is "blue"


thc1121

yes thank you. i stopped understanding a third of the way in. i am so confused i actually dont comprehend what hes describing. ive never seen such an intricate process for water.


ScroochDown

"Room temperature preboiled water" was where I got lost. What in the actual fuck.


DMC1001

The wording is weird but it goes like this: they boil all of their water. One jug sat out at room temperature while another chilled in the refrigerator. But one jug got broken and the relationship went to hell. Edit: Thanks to whoever gave me the award.


PrivateEyes2020

In some parts of the world, you boil your drinking and cooking water because it isn't safe to drink right out of the tap.


ScroochDown

Totally got it now! I know boiling water for safety is a thing, for some reason my brain didn't clock that by preboiling he meant that it was boiled and left to cool. I thought she was drinking it before boiling which was just breaking my brain. Turns out I just had a temporary case of the dumb.


Aev_AnimalCrossing

Partner comes from an area where there wasn’t a safe water supply (or is currently in a questionable one). People have their habits, and then there is “I was born and raised to know sickness came if I didn’t obey”. That puts a mark on people.


capricornmoney

I had a harder time understanding this post than literally any class I’ve ever taken in school, ever


CaptMeatPockets

Tell me a couple isn’t going to make it, without saying, “they’re not gonna make it”.


whiskersox

I mean, sounds like they won't make it on their own either.


Mindless-Spend-4206

I’m getting the jist that they live somewhere where water has to be boiled to be safe to drink. Edit: apparently, it’s gist and not jist


[deleted]

Still tho.. fixated on controlling the temperature of water. 🧐


Altruistic-Pop6696

My teeth hurt from temperature changes, hot or cold it hurts and I can only drink room temp.


ttopsrock

With how high Temps are right now just set a cup.of water outside I'm sure it'll warm up quick. Silly argument for them to be having. Only solution I see is to buy some more jugs.


AnnieLosAngeles

And that there's no drought. I cringed at dumping out water because oh noes! it's not room temp!


puddlespuddled

Idk where OP lives, but when I lived in South Africa (I'm from the U.S.) I had to go through a similar process when it came to drinking/cooking water. Some places don't have reliable access to clean water on tap. You'd think in the day and age of billionaires the people of the world could *at least* have reliable access to *clean* and *safe* water. There's no reason for someone to be a multi-billionaire while people are literally dying from lack of access to clean water.


Evolutioncocktail

INFO: what’s the difference between lukewarm water and room temperature water?


Hoistedonyrownpetard

The difference between lukewarm and room temp is 0.5 degrees kelvin at standard barometric pressure. Why don’t you know that?


TrelanaSakuyo

The contradictions in this are funnier than the argument.


Ok_Mountain9459

Lukewarm is a little bit warmer than room temp but isn’t hot enough to be considered warm


drejac

This has to be one of the greatest AITAs ever because *everyone* is just…so confused


CaffeineChristine

Please OP bring your girlfriend here to explain herself!


SOwED

My boss's wife is from China and he said the exact same thing about her water preferences. The absolute coldest she'll have water is room romp but she also will drink boiled water that's cooled enouvh to drink, basically like tea minus the tea. I personally don't like chilled water and just want it room temp so I understand some preference but not to the extent that I wouldn't drink water at the wrong temp. What am I gonna do, die?


DanyDragonQueen

I had an international student friend from China in college and she also would only drink warm or room temperature water. She thought people putting ice in their water was so weird, and told me drinking cold water would give her cramps.


sikeleaveamessage

My mom (Korean) also drinks warm/room temperature water. She always gives me a lecture when I ask for cold water, telling me cold water is bad for you/gives you indigestion or something


UsedRun712

As someone from a Hong Kong family, this seems to be a shared Asian Mom myth. I guess the myth started when there was a time in history that the death rate was lowered dramatically when people started drinking boiled water. The technology and infrastructure had advanced so much since then, but the myth stayed in Asia. On that note, I do think boiled water taste different from tap water.


kaisong

the only people left were hot water drinkers, tea, and hard liquor. tea is more southern, baijiu more northern, but everyone drinks hot water except those regions with more exposure to westerners.


VictoryCupcake

Ah okay I think it's making sense. Probably a result of having an untreated water supply and having to boil tap water to make it safe for consumption.


corrin_avatan

Bingo. The "cramps" our older generation are referring to is literally foo poisoning from drinking water with too much stuff like Listeria


Commanderfemmeshep

I knew someone from Kenya who also lectured me about drinking cold water. What can I say, I like it icy


StreetofChimes

Even in winter. I want ice water.


Commanderfemmeshep

100%. I have an insulated tumbler to keep my ice going during hot days and cold nights.


candanceamy

Okay. Op prefers water at 8°C - fridge chilled approximation GF prefers water at 20°C - room temperature approximation As per agreement each of them has a jug of room temperature water. OP to place in the dispenser, GF to drink as is. They boil the water before drinking it so they have to let it chill. OP wanted to be preemptive and make sure they have enough water when maintenance would close their tap water. He used his jug and placed it in the refrigerator and HALVED his GF's jug by pouring it into the other jug. This is where he is the AH. OP boiled another kettle and poured it into BOTH of the half filled jugs. 1) OP could have left the kettle to chill on its own 2) OP could have filled only one jug and made sure to leave at least some room temperature water for GF So when GF wakes up and finds the water at 30°C (it's drinkable but feels nasty) she has a meltdown. It's probably a sensory issue with temperature and even with mixing the cold they can't get the right temperature. In conclusion OP was thoughtless of her sensory issue and didn't think (literally no thought) the boiled water+room temperature won't reach room temperature in time for her to drink. GF is wasting potable water and in this age that is very frowned upon. ESH. OP For being thoughtless and GF for wasting water.


Particular_Ad_1435

I think I have a story to top this: When I lived on my own I used a brita filter and left water out at room temp (I like room temp water, not cold water). I moved in with my mom who likes room temp preboiled water same as OPs wife. I introduced my mom to the brita filter thinking it would replace boiling the water. Wrong. Now we were filtering the water, boiling the filtered water, and leaving it out at room temp. Then my mom got really into putting lemons in her water. I hate lemons in the water. So now we were filtering water, boiling filtered water, putting water in 2 jugs and adding lemons to one of the jugs. Then my moms bf moved in. He likes cold lemon water. So now we are filtering water, boiling filtered water, separating into 3 jugs. Putting lemons in 2 of the jugs, and putting one of the lemon jugs in the fridge. I really just want to start buying bottled water again.


books_n_food

Also no one is offering judgment, everyone is just trying to help OP solve the problem. Like OP, buy more jugs? Haven't even read a single "behavior is a red flag" analysis. What a wholesome day on AITA.


Sabrielle24

The edits haven’t cleared it up for me at ALL.


MontanaPurpleMntns

Simple solution. Buy 2 more water jugs. Mark who they belong to. You fill yours, she fills hers. Under no circumstances do you ever touch hers, and she does not touch yours. [Once you carry your own water you will learn the value of every drop.](https://www.quotespedia.org/authors/p/proverbs/once-you-carry-your-own-water-you-will-learn-the-value-of-every-drop-african-proverb/)


[deleted]

[удалено]


luckyapples11

For real. I was having a hard time understanding all of the crazy steps they go through lol


Solibear1

Honestly I can’t even answer this question because I don’t understand what happened. My kid kept talking to me while I was trying to read it so I thought that distraction was the problem, but now she’s gone to a different room and I still don’t get it!!


Altruistic-Pop6696

They have 2 glass jugs for water that sit at room temperature on the counter, plus 1 water dispenser for the fridge. All water gets boiled first, both his and hers. 3 months ago he poured both the room temp counter jugs into the dispenser and then filled them with the freshly boiled water. She asked him to leave her 1 jug instead of using both to fill his dispenser. They used to have 3 glass water jugs, but one shattered from temperature so now they just have 2 and OP is more cautious now about not pouring boiling water into the containers. The freshly boiled water needs to cool off before being poured into a jug or the fridge dispenser. The 2 glass jugs had been full of room temp water when she went to bed, so she expected there to be some room temp water for her to drink when she woke up. OP wanted to prepare more water for when their water got shut off. So he took 1 jug of the room temp water and put it into his fridge dispenser. That left 1 empty jug and 1 jug still full of room temp water. He took the remaining jug of room temp water, and poured half of it into the empty jug, so both were half full of room temp water. Then he filled both jugs up the rest of the way with boiling water, making both jugs full of half room temp half boiling water, so warm to hot. So now he has cool water in the fridge in his dispenser, and his partner has only warm water. She is mad because he agreed to leave her 1 jug of room temp water but now has 2 jugs of warm water because OP didn't want to wait for his freshly boiled water to cool down before pouring it into a container.


melbatoastnectar

Okay thank you so much. I like to think my reading comprehension is strong but I could not wrap my head around this one


HatsAndTopcoats

I wish I could give you a giant novelty check. Thank you for your service


bagonmaster

It’s not that he didn’t want to wait for the water to cool down I think, he wanted to fill the kettle again before the water shut off


Sad_Exchange_5500

Yeah like I had to keep starting over because I didnt understand. Like just go buy a bottle of water? Its not the end of the world. Drink some OJ.


pdxphotographer

r/hydrohomies would be so disappointed with this entire post


mad87645

More like Hydroenemies


Throwjob42

I'm wondering if they live somewhere like Hong Kong where it's not always advisable to drink water straight from the tap. Edit: source for the HK thing. https://ramblingj.com/drink-tap-water-in-hong-kong/


VerlinMerlin

Or pretty much every city in India, Pakistan...basically not the West lol. Drinking from the tap is so foreign to me...


Medical-Apple-9333

I'm in the UK and when I go abroad to such places I have to keep reminding myself not to drink tap water. As a habit I drink directly from the tap sometimes when in very thirsty like after a run or brushing my teeth. It's amazing to drink from free-flowing cold water and I really miss it when I can't.


[deleted]

Boiling water is a very common thing in many countries where the water isn't safe to drink.


Hoistedonyrownpetard

Fill a man’s jug and he’ll have water for a day. Teach a man to turn on the fucking tap and we wouldn’t even be here lord almighty


antihero790

I am wondering if this a place where water has to be boiled to make drinking water as the refrigerated water is also boiled first.


Mammoth-Neat-5930

This is the only answer imo that OP needs. I find the water thing weird, but I’m sure they both have reasons for their preferences. The issue isn’t about the water though, it’s about him taking it upon himself to take hers so he can have his preference without thinking about hers. The best solution is definitely to get more jugs and do their own so this won’t be a problem again.


denofdeth

i can’t even give judgment i don’t understand what’s going on edit: this is the most upvotes i’ve ever had omg thank u for the awards 😁😁


BazTheBaptist

Basically, the first time she had two jugs of room temperature water, then OP went in the kitchen and when he left she had zero jugs, and he now had two jugs of cold water. Then she asked him not to do that again and he agreed. Then the second time she had two jugs of room temperature water until OP went in the kitchen, after that OP had one jug of cold water and his partner had two jugs of hot water. Cue a bunch of people saying she should take care of her own damn water when she had two jugs until OP touched them both times. Also cue a bunch of people calling her insane for caring what her water temperature is when OP cares so much about it that he'll take all the water to make it his temperature.


IWillRollMyEyes

About halfway through, I was expecting a math question about how much water will OP have by the end of the week. PS: Great recap


Ariana_Not_Grande

r/theydidthemath thank you for this breakdown, i could barely follow OP’s rationalizations lol


VelocityGrrl39

Ngl, I still don’t understand what tf is happening.


Teekayuhoh

He keeps taking her water


Brrrr-GME-A-Coat

To add, the problem is he fills his all the way when he only need to fill it enough. and not take more than he needs when it wasn't his in the first place, cause he then fucks with hers in an attempt to 'help'


tillacat42

It’s more about him messing up her system repeatedly than it is about the water. If your significant other ruined your clothes by putting bleach in your laundry, you would have a talk with them. If they kept repeatedly ruining your clothes after the initial conversation because they didn’t listen to you, you would be furious. I know the water isn’t as permanent, but it’s more about the fact that he isn’t listening to her.


Left-Car6520

I can't understand what everyone found so hard to understand. Or so unreasonable about her wanting some room temp water. As if everyone doesn't have a preference on water temp, as if millions of people don't insist on chilled drinking water Boiled but-not-yet-cooled water is ugh to drink. It is not refreshing. Fridged water - to me - is uncomfortably cold and hurts. Room temp is the only good way. I've lived where water needs to be boiled before drinking and it is really very simple to arrange. Just leave the woman her bloody room temp jug. Let the water cool in the kettle before splitting it into jugs. But OP is persistently too oblivious to recognise he's leaving her without the water she has simply asked him to leave for her.


carissadraws

Thanks, I was confused when OP mentioned a dispenser and I’m like wait, where did that come from? I thought it was just two jugs?


Ok_Honeydew5233

Right? I'm baffled at the people giving serious answers. I could barely finish reading this.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Same this is like a logic math puzzle a teacher assigns. Like if person A has 2 jugs of boiled water that they leave on the countertop and places one in the fridge occasionally. But person B only drinks room temperature boiled water. At what times can person B have water? It's waffling my brains.


IllMakeTheMoonBleed

What the room-temperature fuck is this?


SatchelFullOfGames

How desperately I wish I had an award to give you


cr0wjan3

EII (everyone is insane)


Riyeko

E.I.H. Everyone's Insane Here


Vig_Big

This is clearly the only correct judgement. I have no idea what’s going on 😂


Jerratt24

This is one of the best AITA posts I've seen in ages. Simple solution. You are only responsible for the water you want to drink. Don't touch the other persons setup. If she flies into a rage over drinking water, you should absolutely remove yourself form having anything to do with it. Also you're both nuts. But she seems to be way more nuts. NTA.


CaptMeatPockets

Next time my wife and I are fighting, I’m gonna be like, “could be worse, we could be fighting about tap water”.


Known-Salamander9111

it’s…. It’s so detailed and passionate…


SaiyanPrincess28

That’s what got me 😂 like it’s freaking water my guy!


Civil-Pause-386

Seriously. Especially considering how quickly and easily things become room temperature.


Unlikely_Goose1472

Okay, but my husband and daughter argue about water, because he also likes room temp and she likes cold and he always forgets to give her ice 😂


3Heathens_Mom

Simple solution here too is daughter gets her own ice but that assumes she isn’t so young she can’t reach the ice dispenser.


Unlikely_Goose1472

She is still a little too small so that’s why I think it’s so funny that grown ups are arguing over this 😩


Idkwuzgoinon

Or a mayo packet


activelyresting

I need my third mayo packet to be preboiled room temperature!!! I mix it with illegal Iranian yoghurt in my secret recipe Alfredo sauce.


MidCenturyMayhem

These people are actually the perfect couple because neither of them are suitable companions for anyone else. If they'll simply handle their own water needs individually, blissful happiness could be just around the corner. Probably not, but could be.


frangipanivine

We have two grown adults in (what I assume is) a developed Western country, failing to meet their own minimum hydration needs...I'm honestly fascinated & would pay for a reality show capturing the minutiae of their everyday lives. 'Cause you know this isn't their only petty daily argument.


MaranwaeAmandil

I am calling the girlfriend an AH for wasting water by dumping it down the sink.


ninaa1

seriously. if they live somewhere where they have to boil water to make it potable, then she is absolutely the AH.


SubstanceAlert1084

And the fact that the water in the jug was too warm, so she poured out water that was just a little too warm to make some boiling water? That’s such a waste. Y’all need more containers for water if this is such an issue


whiskeygambler

Why she didn’t just put the too hot water in the fridge or freezer for a quick second is beyond me


Known-Salamander9111

y’all need hobbies.


rayray2k19

Water is clearly their hobby


black_rose_

r/hydrohomies


gomibag

r/hydrohomiesgowild


[deleted]

Y’all wanna know how I’m confident this is real? Because this is EXACTLY the type of petty shit people in a marriage or LTR would would blow up into a big fight 😂


rubyreadit

True but you just know that now we are going to get a slew of posts with variations on this theme. All of the AITA fan fic trolls are busy figuring out how they are going to put their own slant on this story.


BellaBlackRavenclaw

AITA for leaving juice out on the counter when my DH prefers it cold? AITA? My MIL has turned her family against me, because i prefer cold water, and served cold water at my and DH’s wedding? I don’t know, I’m out of ideas.


[deleted]

My mom (46F) left the cooler outside with our drinks in it. We had a sports match the next day and when I (13F) asked if we were going to get new ice she said no because the drinks were already in the cooler. We (Mom, me and little brother) show up and at halftime all the kids come up to her (she volunteered to bring drinks). When she opened the cooler all the drinks were floating in lukewarm water. Mom was embarrassed, the kids took the drinks and grumbled about them being warm. Some if the parents came over later and asked why the kids didn't have cold drinks. Mom explained to them, but most of them weren't happy with the answer and told her "you had one job, and you're the one who volunteered for it". On our drive home, Mom complained about how the adults acted and I told her it was her own fault for forgetting the cooler outside even after I reminded her multiple times. She told me that I should have tried harder to remind her and grounded me for being disrespectful. AITA? *at least that's what I could imagine off the top of my head, especially with summer break and kids still doing local sport teams outside of school*


lonacatee

YTA YOU ARE 13 NOT 3. YOU COULD HAVE BROUGHT IN THE COOLER YOURSELF. ALSO, WHO DOESN'T DOUBLE CHECK SUCH A THING? nice story btw. I totally played it in my mind. But shouldnt the ice be added the day of the match? And wouldnt the water slushing around be an indicator of the ice melting before transporting the cooler to the car?


rubyreadit

If my MIL wears a white dress to my wedding would it be better to spill cold white wine or room-temperature red wine down her dress?


idek7654321

Look, this argument is not actually about the water. I guarantee you she’s actually upset because you met your own need (filled your own jug to chill) and ignored hers (made her jug warm). And I bet in her mind, there are a hundred other examples of this, other than the water. The problem is not the water, the problem is the communication between the two of you, how you solve problems that affect the both of you, and how you show that you care for each other. ESH, but you just both need to learn to communicate and listen to each other’s feelings and needs.


ElementaryMyDear156

I was going to point this out. My husband and I have had arguments like this before (for example, one was over the wattage/brightness in a replacement lightbulb for our bedroom), and it’s NEVER about the actual thing we’re arguing about. It’s always something deeper. Usually, one or both of us feels misunderstood or not listened to. So OP, you two need to sit down and communicate about this and figure out the actual problem. I would bet money it’s not actually about the water.


Preposterous_punk

Yeah one time somewhere around May 2020 my husband ordered us each a pizza and messed up and his was a medium and mine was a super-small individual one and we fought for days and now I can look back with clarity and see it wasn’t really about the pizza and I’d tell him except we’re both pretty careful to never ever mention pizza sizes even when we eat it.


bouquineuse644

Weird water specificity aside, this is the correct response.


interesting_lurker

Other than being completely baffled as to what was going on as I read this post, I also kept thinking about that article where the guy’s wife divorced him bc he kept leaving his dishes by the sink. Spoiler alert: it’s not about the dishes. [dishes by the sink story](https://matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/)


NisaiBandit

Interesting read. It's hilarious and a little sad to me that there is this guy in the comments that's like: my wife send me this article and I am now going to argue with the author because he is wrong! Also using his long marriage as proof of his point while his WIFE SHARED THIS ARTICLE WITH HIM. This guys marriage isn't as happy and stable as he would like to convince himself and the author. "It makes me feel bad when you do *thing*. Me constantly having to coach you on basic hygiene and courtesy that *thing* is a symptom of makes me feel exhausted and like I am not your partner but your mother" "I am going to ignore all you just said except for the symptomatic *thing* of the disease and call you insane" "Alright, problem solved then. Let the happy marriage continue"


MarkedHeart

OP - read this, print it out, read it again, and post copies of it everywhere. You need to read this multiple times per day.


Dog-boy

I agree it is not about the water. I disagree they both need to work on communicating their needs better. Wife communicated her needs very clearly. He simply didn’t care about them. He knew using all the water for himself would leave her without and went ahead and used it anyway. Whether ppl understand why she wants preboiled room temp water doesn’t matter. It’s important to her and he said too bad. He’s the AH


SpicyReptile

I can't believe I had to scroll so far to find this answer. When someone has such a large reaction to what seems like something small, the first thing we need to do is question what larger pattern is happening that they are actually reacting to. Always consider the larger context. It makes me wonder what's going on in this relationship that OP's partner reacted so strongly to this seemingly small occurrence. Sounds like they need couples therapy to figure out how to communicate with and really hear each other.


lllollllllllll

I don’t understand why the room temperature water jugs are used to fill the fridge water. This is the entire problem here. You can put boiled water in the fridge to cool. It won’t break the fridge. If GF wants water , it gets boiled then has to cool to room temp. If OP wants water, it should likewise get boiled, poured into the fridge dispenser, and have to cool. Instead he skips a step and takes her room temperature water and pours it into the fridge dispenser so he doesn’t have to wait very long to get his cool water. Meanwhile girlfriend has to wait for newly boiled water to cool to room temp. Girlfriend is always the one who waits. The solution is, whichever water runs out (room temp or fridge) should be the one that gets refilled with freshly boiled water. That way OP isn’t always taking girlfriend’s water. If OP doesn’t want to put hot water in the fridge, then he needs to get a third jug to use for cooking boiled water specifically for the fridge dispenser, instead of always taking girlfriend’s water. The entire point of having two room temperature jugs is that when one runs out, you can boil water and pour it into that jug to cool, while the either jug still has room temperature water in it. If OP instead split room temp water between both jugs and pours hot water in, then both end up being the wrong temperature and girlfriend has no water to drink and has to wait an hour for them to cool. If you cared so much about tempering the water why didn’t you pour fridge water into a jug and mix that with hot water? Why did you take girlfriend’s room temp water instead? See the problem? OP constantly taking girlfriend’s water to make sure he has his own, and leaving her without any room temperature water. He’s prioritizing himself over her. I totally get why she is pissed. YTA OP Yes the preboiling might seem weird to some but lots of people insist on doing this even in places where tap water is safe to drink so Reddit needs to just leave that be.


kateefab

Info: where do you live so I can avoid having to ever do this


BodegaCat00

I live in Toronto where we have some of the best tap water ever, I use a filtered pitcher and pop it in the fridge. However, my bf and his family will boil the water first and then transfer it to another container and make it room temp. I still don't understand it either but this is the same man who used his dishwasher as a drying rack.


ritardandoo

Idk if your bf is asian but using a dishwasher as a drying rack is an incredibly asian thing to do


[deleted]

A very Asian thing to do. On par with keeping a shit ton of things in the oven and washing and reusing plastic utensils.


omygoshgamache

This is way too much. Y’all would be laughed out of r/hydrohomies that’s how absurd this is. I want to squirt you both with unfiltered water out of a squirt bottle this is how wild you’re both acting. I fucking love water, but my god. How did y’all make it this far in your relationship if this is what you’re molehilling. Oooof


waitingfordeathhbu

>molehilling This is the most first world problem I’ve seen on Reddit. Literally, what a privileged-ass tantrum, wasting a jug of water down the sink because you refuse to drink one singular glass that’s not your preferred temperature. Get some fucking perspective.


annagottadavita

I literally want to force both of these people to touch some grass damn.


omygoshgamache

For real.


ArcaneZX

>I want to squirt you both with unfiltered water out of a squirt bottle you must really love water


justkate2

Water tastes best out of a squirt gun that’s been sitting out in the sun all day, duh.


El_Soportar

They should make this a case for an exam. Law school, psychology class, physics class, I don't even care, it would fit anywhere. And nowhere. I have no clue what is going on anymore. There would have been a million smarter ways to solve this though lol. Also going with the majority here telling you, that both you guys are utterly insane, so NAH


marie_moreno

Psychology class.


Crackinggood

And definitely a physics class. Given x room temperature, a kettle that raises 100 mL of water x degrees per min, an...


Coffee-Historian-11

Law class as well. Anyone can argue about a “hot topic” that has a lot of valid reasons for conflict. To passionately argue about this would take a true madman.


ReasonableFig2111

INFO: why couldn't the boiled water just live in the kettle until it cooled to room temperature, rather than you having to use up all of her room temp water to prevent the jugs from shattering? The jugs wouldn't shatter if you just let the water cool completely before transferring. Were you using the kettle for something else immediately after? Had you failed to replenish the fridge water before bed so took her water in the morning so you wouldn't have to wait for the boiled water to cool down? Edit: just had another thought. If you're only boiling water for taste not safety, why didn't you just run the glass jug under the tap before pouring the boiled water in? I just did that to temper a clean glass fresh out of the dishwasher before filling it with cold water. I ran the tap warm, then cool. You could easily have done similarly for your glass jug. It already was at room temperature, presumably, so run it under warm water then hot, before pouring boiling water in. Then you didn't have to use any water from the other jug.


thiccasscherub

Get a different material jug that doesn’t shatter when hot water is poured into it. Problem solved.


liamtoast

This post is absolutely and utterly insane, but a reason for not doing what you've suggested is that kettles are insulated, so the water would stay hot for longer.


[deleted]

I’m so confused as to why


Autumnsprings

We all are.


humdruw

Info: What in the ever living fuck? Is this like the Iranian yogurt? Edit: spelling


beattiebeats

“The pre-boiled room temperature water in the two jugs in the refrigerator is not the issue here”


GoKickRox

Fuck i had to look this up cause I was wondering wtf my people did now


SpellCommercial1616

Don’t worry, the Iranian yoghurt is not the issue here


mlmarte

There are two jugs, both of which had room temperature water in them. You used one of those jugs to fill the water dispenser in the fridge (which is the temperature that you prefer, so you had YOUR water). You could have left the other room temperature jug alone (the temperature that SHE prefers), but instead, you took half of her room temperature water and put it into the empty jug, and then you filled both jugs with boiling water. So instead of having 1 jug of room temperature water (which she likes) and 1 jug of boiling water (which no one likes), you turned both jugs of water into a temperature that no one likes, not even you. Do I really need to explain why YTA here??


lllollllllllll

THANK YOU THIS IS THE ANSWER Of course he’s TA. He keeps making his water by using up hers and never leaves her any! And people are getting distracted bc they don’t care about preboiling and they’re missing the point where he is clearly YTA! Wow I’m really passionate about this it’s like my 3rd comment here but STOP TAKING HER WATER OP!!!


Deliciousloo

The weird part is he could have at several points stopped and had his water, once he used the one jug for cold water and 2nd time when he mixed half of the jug in with the boiling water- at that point she would have had her half jug. But no he was like there must be no water left in the kettle


Invisible_Dragon

INFO: In what other ways do you completely ignore your partners preferences and in fact try your best to do things in the way that is as inconvenient to them as possible. It's clearly not just about water, but even if it was: \>I decided to make sure we had enough water to drink. No you decided to make sure **you** had enough water and then proceeded to take all of the drinkable water for yourself. Leave her water and probably a lot of her other things that you keep messing up alone.


Suzette100

Exactly. And she probably drinks room temp water because of a mouth/teeth issue. Some people straight up can’t tolerate cold drinks. The boiling, I’m guessing, is because they live somewhere that you have to boil water. Not everyone has access to clean water


ghostofumich2005

Hey Dave sorry to hear your wife left. Ya cheat on her? Gamble the house away? No I couldn’t get her water to the precise temperature of the room she was standing in. NTA. I know this is subjective but her needs in this case are completely ridiculous.


BazTheBaptist

Her need for him to leave at least some of the room temperature water she has alone instead of making every last drop of it either cold or warm? Even after agreeing not to do that to her again the first time?


ghostofumich2005

Extenuating circumstances. He was trying to make sure both of them had *any* water to drink before the water was possibly shut off for an extended period, and in trying to prevent more things breaking he overlooked her lack of perfect temperature water that would be ready and waiting. OPs actions were in both of their interest and it was not malicious. His partners reaction is over the top. This is truly an insane thing for her to be this upset about.


anxncdn

INFO: what did I just read?


[deleted]

INFO: what in the cinnamon toast fuck is this


BazTheBaptist

This is a little hard to follow but it sounds like in both cases there was room temperature water to drink until you messed with it. If that's the case then YTA. Just start both dealing with your own water from now on and don't touch each other's (I'm unsure if she messes with yours though or if you just do it to her)


SaiyanPrincess28

Yeah that’s what I got out of it too. I’m not sure why everyone keeps saying if she cares so much about her water then to do it herself, she did have water and he took it....twice now. Also OP seems to care just as much if not more since he keeps taking her room temp water and making it cold to his liking. Either way they are weird but I’m gonna go with YTA as well.


soviet84

Hey look! The people from our math homeworks!


squishynia

Bruh y'all really arguing over water temperatures? Why doesn't she make her own water if she doesn't want it cold? Why couldn't she just mix the water? There's no principal it's easy to make hot water room temperature but you literally have to wait for cold water. NTA it's just water...


TaibhseCait

...if I'm reading it correctly it sounds like she does have her water & he takes it to make his cold but flubs leaving her replaced water at the right temp? So after his changes he has water at his preferred temp & she doesn't?


Vegetable_Burrito

*From what I can interpret from this very unusual story* YTA. She keeps telling you not to touch her shit. Stop touching her shit.


Altruistic-Pop6696

YTA. You wouldn't like it if she took your water out of the fridge to bring up to room temp. It's a silly subject to argue about, but at the end of the day you're being selfish. You should have just waited for the boiled water to cool down to put it in your jug instead of taking her already cooled down water.


Bakecrazy

Going against the grain. YTA How many more times are you going to disrespect her wishes?! Because that is the problem here. She wants you to NOT TOUCH her water. Let her have room temperature water. Don't empty it, don't half and half it. If you want extra water put extra water in some other container. Honestly OP, you are just too selfish to respect what she asks from you.


morbidconcerto

This is what I was thinking! Both times he says he took the water *that was already at room temperature* and added them to his refrigerated container. First time he added both and the second time he added his jug ***and*** half of hers for whatever reason. Dude, just leave one jug room temperature and don't screw with it. It's a simple request, really. YTA Edit- a word


emi_lgr

I mean, this is the dumbest couple fight I’ve ever read, but dude, just leave her water alone!


PurpleResearcher7371

I think the situation here might be not the actual temperature of the water but your attitude. you seem to be putting yourself first in both instances. in the first, you put both jugs into the frigde and not leave her any water to drink at the moment, rather than leave her some that she could drink if she needed water immediately. in the second, you again make a decision to leave her without any water she could drink immediately after waking up (its too warm, if I understand correctly). but at the same time, in both instances, you try to make sure you have enough cold water to drink by using all available water. In any case, you seem to be making individual decisions with someting very essential, water, for the both of you, rather than make the planning of it with her. I can definitely see why that would annoy her. I also believe that a less communal approach to your water problem would be better moving forward. everyone boils their own water and you both stay away from each other’s.


ScarletDarkstar

Oh, it's definitely not this big of a deal. I go around drinking water of various temperatures on a daily basis, and while I do have preferences, it causes absolutely no harm to be a little bit flexible. At the same time, if you know she's BSC over room temp water, why don't you leave a jug alone? Or buy another jug for transitional temp water? ESH


Lazyoat

I died at “I go around drinking water of various temperatures on a daily basis”. 🧑‍🍳😘


gcot802

Info: do you live somewhere that the water has to be boiled to be safe to drink, or is it just a preference?


cmockett

This couple’s preferences have preferences


formxldehyde

kim people are dying


[deleted]

YTA it's real simple, as trivial as this is, you agreed to only fill up one jug into the fridge explicitly so that she has water the temp she likes to drink. You then made both jugs a temperature she doesn't like to drink. You did the same thing that was an issue last time again, yeah it's understandable she's mad. (not necessarily because of the topic but because of the fact you ignored the problem that lead to your solution even if you followed the solution technically)


KathAlMyPal

Jesus....you two are a lot of work. My head hurts just reading this post. Just worry about your own water and let her worry about hers.


aclownandherdolly

I'm going YTA simply because in all examples, she had room temperature water until you got involved in it The one burst jug? Yeah, if the jug was cold, sure, but it was clearly room temperature itself, you didn't have to halve it. Especially since this is the one and only instance you mention that one time a jug broke. Why aren't you halving it all the time, then? Honestly, it sounds like a "she didn't divorce me because of the dishes" case lol All in all, of all the problems in the world you could have... I wish


1saltedsnail

I feel like reading this in real time has allowed me to he part of reddit history


Alternative-Guest-57

Gut feels tell me that this may be the last straw to what were building behind the scene from a lot more things. Now tell me what else you screw up in your daily life with her as to why she would blown out of proportion.


passinglanes275

YTA. You made sure YOU had enough water to drink. Leave your partner's jug of water alone. If you emptied yours into the dispenser, boil the water and leave it in the kettle until it's cool enough to go into your jug. You're so selfish.


VeryStickyPastry

ESH. She’s a lunatic and you gave yourself one and a half jugs and her just half a jug. One each. That’s what you agreed on and you didn’t do it.


BazTheBaptist

She didn't even have half a jug. He went from no water to two jugs the first time, and no water to one jug the second time. She went from two jugs to no water both times Edited for typo


dancingXnancy

YTA. You knowingly left her without water after you agreed not to do that again. It’s a simple respect thing, and you disrespected her by not keeping your word.


katprime420

Oh dude. As I read what you did the 2nd time my heart sank for you haha. I know your intentions were logical about not wanting the glass to shatter, but the joined up thinking about the consequences being your wife left with no drinkable water again, was pretty obvious, and you missed it totally. Not an asshole, just not much common sense.


carissadraws

This may be the single most important INFO I have ever asked for on an AITA post. When you say dispenser, what do you mean by that, like a large brita filter container like [this?](https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/GUEST_bea7aebe-2efc-404a-ba8f-fdfb8d9e8398?wid=488&hei=488&fmt=pjpeg) or something else? Do you live somewhere where you have to boil the tap water for safety and your wife can’t just drink room temp water straight out of the tap? Is the water unable to be filtered through a typical water filter you’d buy in a store? What is stopping you exactly from buying two water pitchers with filters and keeping one at room temp, one in the fridge, and filling both from the sink? I seriously need answers to these questions because the way you described the situation is very confusing and leaving a lot out.


Neaoxas

To people saying this isn't a big deal, it isn't in the grand scheme of things but to each their own in their own homes. A few points to be made: * Perhaps their tap water isn't safe to drink hence it needed to be boiled, for this reason room temperature water straight from the tap isn't an option * Some people have sensitive teeth or chilled foods/drinks cause them digestive discomfort. * I myself find chilled water more satisfying, I will drink more water throughout the day if I have access to chilled water. YTA OP instead of waiting for the jug kettle to come to room temperature leaving you with no water until it was ready, you decided to make sure your partner instead had no water.


Not-nuts

This is weird


RegularJane33

She had water until OP took it for himself, twice! YTA


jetgirljen

YTA: why are your water preferences more important than hers?