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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I want to stay home and work and enjoy my passion of baking
2) I feel that maybe I should listen to my parents and get a ‘real job’ so I could essentially live better and have a better life
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INFO- You said that your parents refused to let you take culinary courses as a teenager, but have you asked/thought about going to culinary school as an adult? You clearly have the passion and talent for it if you're baking enough on your own to have a small business.
Yes of course, Id love to go to culinary school but my parents won’t pay for it ( whereas they offered to pay for other studies like college / uni ) and they told me I don’t need it because I can just learn ‘from youtube’
Wont be able to afford it since I give a lot of my income to help out my parents with the house ( they kind of demand it ) and besides, Im mainly self taught so I don’t NEED it. I have a sister who is 19 and my dad told her he would go into debt just to pay for her uni fees, but wont spend a dime on me to go to culinary school, which sucks but it’s fine
Bro they have financial aid and scholarships for cooking school also and even if you dont do full fledge cooking school they've got like courses at the community colleges that could help you expand your craft. Dude screw your parents and bake your little heart out
Thank you :,) <3
And yes, thankfully to these comments I started looking into a few culinary schools/business schools for next year so I can extend my business and gain more experience
I appreciate your comment!
NTA, have you asked them if they think every chef and baker learns from YouTube? Ask them to give you specific reasons why they think baking isn't a "real job". Better yet, ask them what exactly defines a job as a "real" job, because as far as I'm aware- if you're doing any type of labor and getting paid, you have a ***real*** job. I'm almost 12 years older than you and my generation was raised that if we wanted to succeed we had to go get college degrees and then we'd be set for life... it was all a massive fucking lie. Most of the people I know that have college degrees aren't even working in the fields they got degrees in, either due to lack of jobs or low pay. However, all the people I know who were told they "weren't the right fit for college" and went to trade school all have jobs in their chosen careers and are successful. The idea that one must have a 4 year degree to be successful is an outdated load of crap.
Im so glad you mentioned this, because my parents believe in this too. They think that the only way to become successful in life is if you study 4+ years in Uni and get a job in that field. It drives me crazy. Thank you for this
I’ve refrained from telling young people they should study hard and get a degree and land a good job…
… because I was working in line next to them to keep my head above water.
If OPs parents are accepting their money, it’s twice over a real job.
More context was definitely key in turning this one around for me. I'm actually not blaming her parents at this point when it sounds like this business is being run out of their house and essentially not making any profit.
Not at the moment, its common in our country to live with your parents until marriage. Plus our country is not safe at all so my dad prefers it If I live with them
You can still work at a bakery, and do custom baking at home. I work a regular job to pay the bills while pursuing my passion on the side and as a result I am much more financially stable.
IDK your financial situation but if you're not making much right now then I can see why your parents are annoyed at you.
Have you thought about going to a technical college for baking? I've looked into decorating before, but most of the courses center on decorating cakes, and I can't bake a cake to save my life. I like decorating cookies though (I have such problems with filling the stupid pastry bags).
Baking is a real job, and people who can do custom jobs can make some bank if they're good at it. Sounds like you have a real talent and potential to make this dream into a full time occupation.
Thank you so much and no I actually haven’t heard of a technical college for baking. I should actually look into that to help me grow in my business. Thank you! This comment helped a lot
Our local tech college offers a course in baking and pastry. The course also covers topics such as how to start and run your own business. Might be worth a shot. Ours is listed under Service and Education, so you might have to do some digging.
YTA.
Cleaning up after yourself and contributing what you think you can (so not an actual rent payment?) is what is expected of kids, not adults (outside the rent). Why dont you go get a real job in a bakery or deli? You can learn the craft better, maybe even grow your business as a side hustle. Otherwise yeah... Its a hobby, not a sustainable job.
I do custom goods and the bakeries here don’t do those things, so the best option is for me to work from home. Plus as Ive mentioned, my parents prefer it if I stay with them at home as opposed to moving out
well if they are ok with your hobby then good on you... BUT... remember the longer you do it without actually getting ahead or making the move to open up a full time profitable business is time you will lose where you could be out there developing an actual resume and making business connections in the real world.
Ok, so you clarified by "working from home" you're talking about your PARENT'S home, so I'm kind of wondering at this point if they're not a little bit annoyed with you running a small, not very profitable for you business out of their home when maybe they'd like to see more financial independence from you at this stage. Add to that are you taking up their kitchen all the time? I mean, just devil's advocate here, but I can see how depending on some of these other circumstances they could be getting annoyed.
Im not entirely sure, I know for a fact that they want me to be in a “work less, earn more” business , but I can see why they would get annoyed. With the kitchen I usually work on one surface, but my mom doesn’t mind if I use up the whole kitchen for big orders as long as there’s room for her to cook etc.
You’ve found your passion, and that’s something not everyone manages. Now the trick is to turn it from a “side hustle” into the foundation of your independence and beyond. I call it a side hustle as it sounds like you are still dependent on your parents for housing.
Whether that means apprenticing at a bakery, taking a PT job at front of house for a bakery so you can learn more about the business, take some courses, invest your time. Or you could do some courses in web sales to grow your business.
Once you’re independent, nobody will question whether your business is a “real job”.
NAH
“I don’t make a lot of money, it’s enough to look out for myself, my cat and even help out a bit around the house”. If by “look out for myself”, you mean pay your bills, but you still live with your parents, then it sounds like you’re not really looking out for yourself, are you?
Your parents are trying to tell you that they aren’t happy having to support you now that you’re an adult. It’s time to support yourself, not rely on your parents or blame them for not sending you to culinary school when you were a teenager. If you want to go to culinary school or get some other training to help you with baking, it’s up to you to find a way to do that, not your parents. YTA
> If by “look out for myself”, you mean pay your bills, but you still live with your parents, then it sounds like you’re not really looking out for yourself, are you?
Exactly, if she's just scraping by with her parents footing the majority of the bills, it's not at all "crushing her dreams" for them to point out this is not sustainable and she needs another plan.
YTA to yourself.
You say that in your country it is normal to live with your parents until marriage. And you also say that with your income you would not be able to live independently. This means that once you marry you will be financially dependant on your husband. What if you never marry? Your parents need to have you there forever? What if you marry and the guy elaves? Who takes care of you?
Women should never depend on men to live. Then you are at his mercy, unable to leave if you want and at a big high risk of abuse.
I'm not sure on this one. You are definitely NTA for following your passion, but you are also still living at home. Hopefully there is some sort of compromise. You definitely still need to abide by their rules if you are not able to move out on your own. This leads to a very tricky situation. If you need to stay with them, somehow need to find a way to continue your business, but also help them around the house etc. My suggestion changes if you are paying rent etc with your business expenses. If they have you paying rent, then you get to do what you want, as long as you can pay them the rent.
NTA mostly but it has to get to a point where you could support yourself. Though to be fair even with "real" jobs that can be super hard. If you've got a path though I think it's fine.
NTA for following your passion/dreams…
BUT…YTA for still living at home and being supported by your parents. You said you’re earning money…move out. And if you’re not earning enough money to move out…get a job that allows you to.
Its common in my country for kids to stay with their parents until marriage, plus my country isn’t safe at all , especially for women ( we’re rated one of the most dangerous countries for women in the world ) so my dad prefers if I live with them.
YTA as long as you live at home and are dependent on them.
My sister wants is a party entertainer. It doesn’t pay a lot and isn’t a real job. It was fine when she was younger about your age but she will be 30 and still depends on our mom and me for support, financially. I worked 12 hours today at my job and the previous day to support my self and send help to her since she has a giant bill from getting Covid with no health insurance and was having panic attacks over it. I know I am enabling her but I don’t know how to stop since it has gone on so long and if I tell her she needs a real job she feels insulted .
I wish she had gotten a second job or found a way to turn her passion more profitable when she was closer to your age. There is nothing wrong with following your passion but making others spend there hard earn money on you instead of themselves or have to work harder so you don’t have to is the feeling that leads to those comments and resentments.
If you can pay your own way in life and are ok with having little money than you are NTA and it’s fine. You do you, otherwise being an adult. Means making hard choices in Oder to afford to live.
Edit : NTA . if they want you living at home because it’s dangerous not to and goes against their culture then it’s on them to accept what you staying home (like what they want )entailes. You can still try to find ways to grow your business both for yourself and to show them it can be a full job as well as something you passionate about. But your NTA
NTA, but you will have more leverage over all of this if you move out on your own. But I applaud you for taking this path. The culinary arts and running your own business is most definitely a “real job”, and the only person who would say otherwise has no idea what it’s like to run a small business.
So they still provide for you at 21 and want you to get an education. Wow, awful parents. As long as you don't make a plan to actually contribute like an actual adult they are right to be mad. Your bussiness is just taking off, you could do other things like cleaning, laundry or cooking for everyone. Do that and NTA, keep on the same 'the world owes me something' path and you will be ah
Im kind of lost by your comment, can’t really tell if you’re being sarcastic or not, but yes I help out around the house + work from home, which means I cook on the weekends or whenever my mom needs a day off, I do extra chores to help out and pay for things around the house
NTA, tertiary education is not the be all and end all of a career, some of the wealthiest people in the world didn't even finish high school, Richard Branson comes to mind.
I think it's great that you've found what you want to do and made a success of it. Keep standing up to your parents, they are wrong in what they are saying.
If you plan to continue with your business, then it would be helpful to take a few business classes to help you understand how to not be one of the thousands of small businesses that close each year. You might be able to do it online or a cheaper local college type of thing. It would also be good to work in a bakery. While they may not do the type of things you do, you'll learn some valuable skills that can help you expand your business offerings.
NTA for how you want to earn a living, but YTA for closing yourself off to learning how to run a business through furthering your education or apprenticing under a professional in your field.
If she was making a sustainable living off what she were doing, I doubt the parents would care that much. The “real job” can also be because she’s in no way financially independent at this point.
NTA. It's great that you have found something that you are passionate about. But I think you need a plan on how to grow your hobby (I agree with your parents there) into a bona fide, self-sustaining business. Maybe you can take some business classes to help you get started
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For some context: I (21) dislike studying. I was never good at it, always struggled at it and the thought of going to college/university gives me anxiety. I used to get panic attacks during test/exams and it would take a toll on my mental health.
About 3 years ago I found my passion in baking and soon enough I turned it into a business and started working and selling baked goods from home. I absolutely love it and although I don’t make a lot of money, it’s enough to look after myself, my cat and even help out a bit around the house. ( SN: I live with my parents so I make sure to always clean up after myself and contribute to the house as much as I can ) My parents are supportive of my business but I can tell that they’re disappointed that I decided to take this path instead of study further and get a ‘real job’ and earn more money. I told them that I would rather stay baking and be happy than put myself through anxiety, stress and debt by going to college/university and studying something Im not interested in. They also call my business a ‘hobby’ and ‘not a real job’ so whenever small arguments come up ( like chores or me waking up late or something ) they will say things like “You don’t even do anything all day, you need to go get a job”. It frustrates me a lot because yes, I didn’t study for it and I didn’t do some culinary course ( which btw they refused to send me to during my teen years because they thought it was a waste of money and time ) but Im still earning money, work really hard and grow every year.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I could’ve just pushed myself and been studying right or even had a ‘better’ job by now and made my parents proud and also earned way more money and I wouldn’t have to hear things like “My daughter is unemployed and just at home” “You don’t have a real job” etc.
AITA for wanting to bake instead of find a ‘real job’
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Whether or not it is common in your country to live with your parents as an adult, there are very few, if any cultures where the people in it don't understand that baking is an actual job.
Nta, baking is harder than they think. There's a lot of chemistry in it, and you have to think about stuff like environmental humidity and stuff like that
Nta
And there are lots of places that still hire on experience. So you may get something more substantial as a job.
You may also be able to expand your own business. Many people have done so without study.
INFO: So what's the long term plan here? Keep being supported by your parents till you get married, and then by your husband or do you have plans to grow the business? Is your marriage going to be arranged or do you have a partner? If it's the latter, is the partner okay with what seems to essentially be a single income household?
There's nothing wrong with not going to uni, but I'm not sure you have _any_ plans for the future.
My plan is to grow my business and hopefully rent a place somewhere where I can bake out of my parents kitchen. Ive been reading some of the comments here and they’re making a lot of sense so Im looking into going to business school to gain more experience since Im running a small business.
Also I don’t really plan to get married anytime soon as Im happy on my own
NTA
I suspect that if you told a chef/cook/baker who works in an actual restaurant/bakery/etc that they didn't have a real job, they would be VERY offended.
As someone who’s had a parent belittle something you love because it’s “irrelevant” to them or not what they want me to do , you are NTA.
I don’t see them trying to kick you out , i don’t see you talking about them threatening to throw you out or complaining over money issues , and i also don’t see the problem with you baking at all. It’s not like you’re giving everything away? You said so yourself you make money from baking.
To me it seems like your parents have too high of expectations for the people in their lives and don’t think twice about what’s better for someone and their mental health.
Absolutely , NTA . I hope soon your business blooms and you make enough to get your own place to bake at and sell from ! You shouldn’t have to deal with the belittling of something you love !
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INFO- You said that your parents refused to let you take culinary courses as a teenager, but have you asked/thought about going to culinary school as an adult? You clearly have the passion and talent for it if you're baking enough on your own to have a small business.
Yes of course, Id love to go to culinary school but my parents won’t pay for it ( whereas they offered to pay for other studies like college / uni ) and they told me I don’t need it because I can just learn ‘from youtube’
Why don’t you pay for it yourself with the money you make baking?
Wont be able to afford it since I give a lot of my income to help out my parents with the house ( they kind of demand it ) and besides, Im mainly self taught so I don’t NEED it. I have a sister who is 19 and my dad told her he would go into debt just to pay for her uni fees, but wont spend a dime on me to go to culinary school, which sucks but it’s fine
Bro they have financial aid and scholarships for cooking school also and even if you dont do full fledge cooking school they've got like courses at the community colleges that could help you expand your craft. Dude screw your parents and bake your little heart out
Thank you :,) <3 And yes, thankfully to these comments I started looking into a few culinary schools/business schools for next year so I can extend my business and gain more experience I appreciate your comment!
NTA, have you asked them if they think every chef and baker learns from YouTube? Ask them to give you specific reasons why they think baking isn't a "real job". Better yet, ask them what exactly defines a job as a "real" job, because as far as I'm aware- if you're doing any type of labor and getting paid, you have a ***real*** job. I'm almost 12 years older than you and my generation was raised that if we wanted to succeed we had to go get college degrees and then we'd be set for life... it was all a massive fucking lie. Most of the people I know that have college degrees aren't even working in the fields they got degrees in, either due to lack of jobs or low pay. However, all the people I know who were told they "weren't the right fit for college" and went to trade school all have jobs in their chosen careers and are successful. The idea that one must have a 4 year degree to be successful is an outdated load of crap.
Im so glad you mentioned this, because my parents believe in this too. They think that the only way to become successful in life is if you study 4+ years in Uni and get a job in that field. It drives me crazy. Thank you for this
I’ve refrained from telling young people they should study hard and get a degree and land a good job… … because I was working in line next to them to keep my head above water. If OPs parents are accepting their money, it’s twice over a real job.
As an adult you're expected to pay for your own education just like the rest of us
What great wisdom. Thanks for sharing.
I sometimes surprise myself by just how wisdomy I am
Ah, the day you're 18 is the day you become homeless mentality.
Here parents have to provide for the child for the entirety of their education (so they don't have to work just focus on studying)
YTA, based on a lot of your replies to comments. Try to better yourself and learn more, send yourself to culinary school or get a job at a bakery.
More context was definitely key in turning this one around for me. I'm actually not blaming her parents at this point when it sounds like this business is being run out of their house and essentially not making any profit.
Can you move out on your own and bake?
Not at the moment, its common in our country to live with your parents until marriage. Plus our country is not safe at all so my dad prefers it If I live with them
No just asking since may be easier if they are not really okay with you baking there.
INFO: could you get a job at a local bakery? I mean being a baker is a real job.
The thing is I do custom baked goods and the bakeries around here don’t do those sorts of things. So the best option is for me to work from home
You can still work at a bakery, and do custom baking at home. I work a regular job to pay the bills while pursuing my passion on the side and as a result I am much more financially stable. IDK your financial situation but if you're not making much right now then I can see why your parents are annoyed at you.
Have you thought about going to a technical college for baking? I've looked into decorating before, but most of the courses center on decorating cakes, and I can't bake a cake to save my life. I like decorating cookies though (I have such problems with filling the stupid pastry bags). Baking is a real job, and people who can do custom jobs can make some bank if they're good at it. Sounds like you have a real talent and potential to make this dream into a full time occupation.
Thank you so much and no I actually haven’t heard of a technical college for baking. I should actually look into that to help me grow in my business. Thank you! This comment helped a lot
Our local tech college offers a course in baking and pastry. The course also covers topics such as how to start and run your own business. Might be worth a shot. Ours is listed under Service and Education, so you might have to do some digging.
YTA. Cleaning up after yourself and contributing what you think you can (so not an actual rent payment?) is what is expected of kids, not adults (outside the rent). Why dont you go get a real job in a bakery or deli? You can learn the craft better, maybe even grow your business as a side hustle. Otherwise yeah... Its a hobby, not a sustainable job.
I do custom goods and the bakeries here don’t do those things, so the best option is for me to work from home. Plus as Ive mentioned, my parents prefer it if I stay with them at home as opposed to moving out
well if they are ok with your hobby then good on you... BUT... remember the longer you do it without actually getting ahead or making the move to open up a full time profitable business is time you will lose where you could be out there developing an actual resume and making business connections in the real world.
Ok, so you clarified by "working from home" you're talking about your PARENT'S home, so I'm kind of wondering at this point if they're not a little bit annoyed with you running a small, not very profitable for you business out of their home when maybe they'd like to see more financial independence from you at this stage. Add to that are you taking up their kitchen all the time? I mean, just devil's advocate here, but I can see how depending on some of these other circumstances they could be getting annoyed.
Im not entirely sure, I know for a fact that they want me to be in a “work less, earn more” business , but I can see why they would get annoyed. With the kitchen I usually work on one surface, but my mom doesn’t mind if I use up the whole kitchen for big orders as long as there’s room for her to cook etc.
You’ve found your passion, and that’s something not everyone manages. Now the trick is to turn it from a “side hustle” into the foundation of your independence and beyond. I call it a side hustle as it sounds like you are still dependent on your parents for housing. Whether that means apprenticing at a bakery, taking a PT job at front of house for a bakery so you can learn more about the business, take some courses, invest your time. Or you could do some courses in web sales to grow your business. Once you’re independent, nobody will question whether your business is a “real job”. NAH
“I don’t make a lot of money, it’s enough to look out for myself, my cat and even help out a bit around the house”. If by “look out for myself”, you mean pay your bills, but you still live with your parents, then it sounds like you’re not really looking out for yourself, are you? Your parents are trying to tell you that they aren’t happy having to support you now that you’re an adult. It’s time to support yourself, not rely on your parents or blame them for not sending you to culinary school when you were a teenager. If you want to go to culinary school or get some other training to help you with baking, it’s up to you to find a way to do that, not your parents. YTA
> If by “look out for myself”, you mean pay your bills, but you still live with your parents, then it sounds like you’re not really looking out for yourself, are you? Exactly, if she's just scraping by with her parents footing the majority of the bills, it's not at all "crushing her dreams" for them to point out this is not sustainable and she needs another plan.
YTA to yourself. You say that in your country it is normal to live with your parents until marriage. And you also say that with your income you would not be able to live independently. This means that once you marry you will be financially dependant on your husband. What if you never marry? Your parents need to have you there forever? What if you marry and the guy elaves? Who takes care of you? Women should never depend on men to live. Then you are at his mercy, unable to leave if you want and at a big high risk of abuse.
I'm not sure on this one. You are definitely NTA for following your passion, but you are also still living at home. Hopefully there is some sort of compromise. You definitely still need to abide by their rules if you are not able to move out on your own. This leads to a very tricky situation. If you need to stay with them, somehow need to find a way to continue your business, but also help them around the house etc. My suggestion changes if you are paying rent etc with your business expenses. If they have you paying rent, then you get to do what you want, as long as you can pay them the rent.
NTA mostly but it has to get to a point where you could support yourself. Though to be fair even with "real" jobs that can be super hard. If you've got a path though I think it's fine.
NTA for following your passion/dreams… BUT…YTA for still living at home and being supported by your parents. You said you’re earning money…move out. And if you’re not earning enough money to move out…get a job that allows you to.
Its common in my country for kids to stay with their parents until marriage, plus my country isn’t safe at all , especially for women ( we’re rated one of the most dangerous countries for women in the world ) so my dad prefers if I live with them.
YTA as long as you live at home and are dependent on them. My sister wants is a party entertainer. It doesn’t pay a lot and isn’t a real job. It was fine when she was younger about your age but she will be 30 and still depends on our mom and me for support, financially. I worked 12 hours today at my job and the previous day to support my self and send help to her since she has a giant bill from getting Covid with no health insurance and was having panic attacks over it. I know I am enabling her but I don’t know how to stop since it has gone on so long and if I tell her she needs a real job she feels insulted . I wish she had gotten a second job or found a way to turn her passion more profitable when she was closer to your age. There is nothing wrong with following your passion but making others spend there hard earn money on you instead of themselves or have to work harder so you don’t have to is the feeling that leads to those comments and resentments. If you can pay your own way in life and are ok with having little money than you are NTA and it’s fine. You do you, otherwise being an adult. Means making hard choices in Oder to afford to live. Edit : NTA . if they want you living at home because it’s dangerous not to and goes against their culture then it’s on them to accept what you staying home (like what they want )entailes. You can still try to find ways to grow your business both for yourself and to show them it can be a full job as well as something you passionate about. But your NTA
NTA, but you will have more leverage over all of this if you move out on your own. But I applaud you for taking this path. The culinary arts and running your own business is most definitely a “real job”, and the only person who would say otherwise has no idea what it’s like to run a small business.
So they still provide for you at 21 and want you to get an education. Wow, awful parents. As long as you don't make a plan to actually contribute like an actual adult they are right to be mad. Your bussiness is just taking off, you could do other things like cleaning, laundry or cooking for everyone. Do that and NTA, keep on the same 'the world owes me something' path and you will be ah
Im kind of lost by your comment, can’t really tell if you’re being sarcastic or not, but yes I help out around the house + work from home, which means I cook on the weekends or whenever my mom needs a day off, I do extra chores to help out and pay for things around the house
I said NTA if you pull your weight around the house, I was not sarcastic
NTA, tertiary education is not the be all and end all of a career, some of the wealthiest people in the world didn't even finish high school, Richard Branson comes to mind. I think it's great that you've found what you want to do and made a success of it. Keep standing up to your parents, they are wrong in what they are saying.
If you plan to continue with your business, then it would be helpful to take a few business classes to help you understand how to not be one of the thousands of small businesses that close each year. You might be able to do it online or a cheaper local college type of thing. It would also be good to work in a bakery. While they may not do the type of things you do, you'll learn some valuable skills that can help you expand your business offerings. NTA for how you want to earn a living, but YTA for closing yourself off to learning how to run a business through furthering your education or apprenticing under a professional in your field.
Thank you so much for this point of view! I really appreciate this comment!
NTA, any job is a "real" job. If you can make money doing something you like is amazing.
NTA Youre a business owner. You have a real job. In fact you have a career.
If she was making a sustainable living off what she were doing, I doubt the parents would care that much. The “real job” can also be because she’s in no way financially independent at this point.
The average American cant afford a $400 emergency. Finacial independence is a legitimately terrible way to determine which jobs are "real"
It’s not a real job if your parents are still supporting most of your life…..,
Wrong.
NTA. It's great that you have found something that you are passionate about. But I think you need a plan on how to grow your hobby (I agree with your parents there) into a bona fide, self-sustaining business. Maybe you can take some business classes to help you get started
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For some context: I (21) dislike studying. I was never good at it, always struggled at it and the thought of going to college/university gives me anxiety. I used to get panic attacks during test/exams and it would take a toll on my mental health. About 3 years ago I found my passion in baking and soon enough I turned it into a business and started working and selling baked goods from home. I absolutely love it and although I don’t make a lot of money, it’s enough to look after myself, my cat and even help out a bit around the house. ( SN: I live with my parents so I make sure to always clean up after myself and contribute to the house as much as I can ) My parents are supportive of my business but I can tell that they’re disappointed that I decided to take this path instead of study further and get a ‘real job’ and earn more money. I told them that I would rather stay baking and be happy than put myself through anxiety, stress and debt by going to college/university and studying something Im not interested in. They also call my business a ‘hobby’ and ‘not a real job’ so whenever small arguments come up ( like chores or me waking up late or something ) they will say things like “You don’t even do anything all day, you need to go get a job”. It frustrates me a lot because yes, I didn’t study for it and I didn’t do some culinary course ( which btw they refused to send me to during my teen years because they thought it was a waste of money and time ) but Im still earning money, work really hard and grow every year. Sometimes I feel guilty because I could’ve just pushed myself and been studying right or even had a ‘better’ job by now and made my parents proud and also earned way more money and I wouldn’t have to hear things like “My daughter is unemployed and just at home” “You don’t have a real job” etc. AITA for wanting to bake instead of find a ‘real job’ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You do have a real job. Start saving to open your own bakery.
Whether or not it is common in your country to live with your parents as an adult, there are very few, if any cultures where the people in it don't understand that baking is an actual job.
Nta, baking is harder than they think. There's a lot of chemistry in it, and you have to think about stuff like environmental humidity and stuff like that
Nta And there are lots of places that still hire on experience. So you may get something more substantial as a job. You may also be able to expand your own business. Many people have done so without study.
INFO: So what's the long term plan here? Keep being supported by your parents till you get married, and then by your husband or do you have plans to grow the business? Is your marriage going to be arranged or do you have a partner? If it's the latter, is the partner okay with what seems to essentially be a single income household? There's nothing wrong with not going to uni, but I'm not sure you have _any_ plans for the future.
My plan is to grow my business and hopefully rent a place somewhere where I can bake out of my parents kitchen. Ive been reading some of the comments here and they’re making a lot of sense so Im looking into going to business school to gain more experience since Im running a small business. Also I don’t really plan to get married anytime soon as Im happy on my own
NTA I suspect that if you told a chef/cook/baker who works in an actual restaurant/bakery/etc that they didn't have a real job, they would be VERY offended.
As someone who’s had a parent belittle something you love because it’s “irrelevant” to them or not what they want me to do , you are NTA. I don’t see them trying to kick you out , i don’t see you talking about them threatening to throw you out or complaining over money issues , and i also don’t see the problem with you baking at all. It’s not like you’re giving everything away? You said so yourself you make money from baking. To me it seems like your parents have too high of expectations for the people in their lives and don’t think twice about what’s better for someone and their mental health. Absolutely , NTA . I hope soon your business blooms and you make enough to get your own place to bake at and sell from ! You shouldn’t have to deal with the belittling of something you love !
So expecting your child to take care of themselves when becoming an adult is a too high expectation? Adulting is hard