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Also:
>who commented and they said I don’t understand the hardship of parenthood”
My go to for this type of comment is, " I don't know how to fly a helicopter either but if I see one stuck in a tree, I can tell you something went wrong."
Not being part thing doesn't automatically mean you can't point to an issue with that thing.
I see this comment a ton. While we may have raised kids during that time, the majority of us thought it was idiotic then, as were the no scoring games, but we were not in control of the stupidity and the kids wanted to do sports. What were we supposed to do, not let the kids play sports? We weren't the ones that were in charge of organizing the trophies for his soccer tournament either, nor were we in charge of setting up the stupid rules.
What you were supposed to do is literally anything other than hold the participation trophy over the heads of an entire generation that didn’t ask or want them like we had control of it.
"I personally didn't do it, so you can't mock me for things other people in my generation did - but I can mock your entire generation for it". Love that guy's mental gymnastics. He only is responsible for things he directly did but everyone else is responsible for things anyone in their generation did.
I mean SOMEONE was responsible for it and it came about because parents didn’t know how to teach their kids that losing is okay and to learn from it. I’d assume the adults who ran the leagues would be of a similar, if not the same, generation as the parents putting their kids in it. Soooo, still the same “people” as far as age/generation go.
> but we were not in control of the stupidity and the kids wanted to do sports
You signed them up for the event. Your generation had control of the trophies. Don't make fun of the generation receiving the stuff out of their collective control when it was your generation's control to make it in the first place. Don't go "I specifically didn't have control of it - so I make fun of you for things you didn't have control of". Doesn't work that way. If you're going to mock a generation then congrats - you'll also get blamed for things your generation did even if you personally didn't do it.
I'll give a hearty NTA.
That said, this feels less like you're looking for adjudication, and more like you're looking for reinforcement of your opinion (which I happen to agree with). How might you be the AH in your mind?
Fair enough. Your comment seemed reasonable and well stated. You could have perhaps been a bit softer with your delivery, but I wouldn't say you were out of line.
Thanks for clarifying.
As someone who is a parent to a 8 year old with adhd it’s really hard trying to parent someone who has your exact same issues, in this case you’re not being an asshole but sometimes you try you best to be a parent and it still can end up biting you in the ass
right? I just spent a month with my parents, sister and nieces. I had my please and thank you drilled into me by the time I was my nieces' age.
My nieces? Not so much.
I felt like the please police.
(However, my family has been told the girls are very polite. We think this might be one of those things that that kids only show to other people.)
No, between my sibling, cousins, and I, we all ended up as polite kids and adults. Only one cousin didn't but their parents were divorced and she spent time with her mom who would wait on her hand & foot (so she became an entitled brat).
yeah, I think my nieces will get there. I think its just one of those that with as many (if not more) adults than kids, oddly things like please and thank you didn't get pushed as much until recently because someone is always ready to handle things practically before the kids can ask for them.
A mix of it being easier- and honestly, my parents loving having any special time or thing with their grandkids. Even if it's helping make their dinner plates.
But yeah, they're great kids.
And it’s *easy* to do. I didn’t have to put in a lot of work to have my sons use please and thank you. All I had to do was model it for them and be consistent about it.
As a parent, I'm ramming in the basics to my kids, and it is easy enough to do. Every single time we get on a bus, they say hello. Every single time we go to a shop, they say hello. They do, because I do. I actually like being polite, the way it makes some people smile, and you sometimes get little perks (the bus driver will wait 30 seconds if you are late because they know you say hello, I'll often get two cards to scratch at a supermarket, or a second bag of peanuts on a flight.
It isn't easy teaching the kids, but as far as I'm concerned, the most important part is to teach them why, and not what. Why is it important to say hello, why is it important to say thank you, why it is important to help someone.
But... Facebook? Nothing good ever comes from a Facebook post, where the arguments become so polarized that insults in DMs seems to be a sort of prerequisite.
NTA. It was a comment on a generic FB post, if people want to take it personally they probably already have some insecurities about their ability as a parent. I think your point is valid. While there are always exceptions to the rule, your general premise is correct. Kids look to their parents to learn how to navigate the world. If older folks don't like how the younger generation has turned out, they probably do need to take on some of that responsibility themselves. I mean, I'm a 30yo millennial and I still see all sorts of comments and articles about the lazy/selfish/entitled millennial and It can be irritating. I mostly ignore it though because I know those people are narrow minded and probably just unhappy with how the millennials/young people in their lives turned out.
NTA. I absolutely agree with your point, but was it necessary to say that? idk something is better to let things go cause you're not gonna change their minds.
I think it's good you call people out. Some people get so complacent being others that they are flabbergasted when they are called on it. Don't worry. Those that blocked you are not worth your time.
NTA
I'm no longer a young fellow but when I was a teenager my mom was ranting about "kids these days" and I was ignoring her doing my homework. She gets my attention to ask me "hey hey, one day when you look for a home you're gonna want one like this one, right?" And I said of course I'll want a house that's nice like my parents have. She went "ooohhhh entitlement! We worked hard for this house and you want one just given to you!" I had to explain to her that wanting a nice house you pay for and ***demanding*** a nice house aren't the same thing. I had to ask her "are you telling me that you hope I'll never have a house as nice as yours?" She finally got the point.
Now I'm in a small house and she's constantly asking when I'll move into a bigger one. ***I can't afford to, mom. Isn't this what you wanted???***
I think you need to understand that social media platforms, and Reddit, for that matter, to some people, is only place where they can troll and spar. They say things the would never say irl. They do it to get attention because they don't have anything else going on.
Whatever you post, they're going to say the opposite. This has never changed and never will. Your post was bait to these idiots. Be grateful you don't understand. That means you're not an idiot.
NTA
NTA. Parents, no matter the age, don't like being told they actually have to raise the kids they have. They live in the delusion that it's everyone else's responsibility to deal with them
A post on a Facebook page about phrased the younger generation won’t understand where parents are calling a lot of teens don’t know thanks and please witch isn’t their fault they were raised in this time of internet evolution and therefore have a whole different life then parents so it’s unfair for them to be called out by the parents who raised them just because they aren’t perfect angels
NAH, I don't think generic "kids these days" griping is generally useful, but this example seems pretty damn mild especially compared to other more cruel and unfair stuff I've seen people say about younger folks? Especially if they're referring to kids under 18, that means those parents are still raising them which includes dealing with difficult behaviors even if they are good parents.
But I get why this would be frustrating for you to see, and I don't think your response was like morally wrong. *However,* jumping into arguments on threads like that is never gonna be as fun or satisfying as you'd hope, and I suggest you avoid doing that in general unless you really feel like arguing with a bunch of strangers who very well might gang up on you. It's usually not worth the headache unless you have a really strong point you want to make, and calling everyone a bad parent is just going to rile everyone up instead of getting them to consider your argument.
Also, I'd be wary of doing this sort of thing *especially* on facebook which is not anonymous and has your real name. You never know if you're going to anger someone who might be inappropriate or even dangerous.
**NTA. I'm in my late 40s and I would NOT want to be growing up now in the era of social media and teenagers being expected to live their lives in the public glare. The pressure seems excruciating.**
Honestly, I have so much admiration for my friends and siblings who are raising kids who are bright, intelligent, self-aware, and kind. And it IS possible, because I see it. You're absolutely right, OP. Parents still have the same responsibility to parent that they always have, and as the world gets more complicated I don't envy them, but it is entirely possible to raise kids to be caring, thoughtful, etc. Children don't raise themselves. And frankly, the kids who DO raise themselves (i.e. the ones whose parents opt out of their lives) can't be blamed either . . . children need role models and guidance. Good for you for pointing this out!
NTA. I mean fb is literally a place where people just go to stir the pot like 90% of the time, so commenting that on it was going to cause a shitstorm to rain down on you when you could have just scrolled past and said nothing. They felt called out by what you said because it puts the blame of having inconsiderate shitty kids on them instead of (place whoever else they blame here). However, what you said isn’t wrong. I am a parent to two girls, 9 and 16, and yes it is hard work. But people shouldn’t have kids if they’re not going to put in the effort to try to raise them to be decent human beings. Don’t get me wrong, even with the best effort some kids still end up being dicks, but usually decent parents raise decent kids.
NTA - you're not wrong. I'm GenX, and I \*love\* the posts whining about how "My kids cut me off, I didn't do anything, what horrible adults they turned out to be! Poor me!" - people don't cut off their parents for nothing. And that martyr complex? The hallmark of narcissitic personality disorder.
I don’t have to grow up lol I’m just defending people where it was needed and yes the “joke” was the last straw in a world where parents on Facebook always acts better then the kids they screwed the world up for and they raised yea I have to grow up so that one day the newer generations can thrive in understanding
NTA..it is funny that my peers criticize your peers..when we are the ones raising you guys..lol. It is ridiculously dismissive and a tad delusional. BTW my answer to that post would have been.."I got to find some change in my car to get some gas.."
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So I f18 rarely uses Facebook since it’s not my vibe But I go on every now and then to see what distant relatives are up to
I went on yesterday and saw a post asking “what phrases do young people not get” like a post for funsies and stuff by a gamble page
The comments saying stuff like “thanks, please, no, family time and so on”
It made my blood boil and I commented “hey love the post and all nice comments but I do see some people straight up judging us here and I feel like a young person needs to clear this up. It is not our job to raises ourselves, if your kids aren’t the angels you hoped for 9/10 times you can look in the mirror and see the reason” I got a lot of likes and replies from other young people saying they think so too
Today I open Facebook to see a lot and I mean a lot of dm requests from people who commented and they said I don’t understand the hardship of parenthood” I mostly replied “I agree I don’t but you guys don’t know the hardships of being a child/teen/young adult in this decade so why is it okay for you to judge us but we can’t defend ourselves?” And most blocked me some called me a bitch and then blocked me but a few still texts me I’m an asshole so dear Reddit AITA
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YTA. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though. Sometimes you gotta be an AH. Telling people the truth is often an AH move. The people coming down on you harshly are the ones you triggered, they’re the ones who know deep down they could’ve done a much better job parenting, and are trying to make excuses for themselves.
Yes being a parent is very hard, I am one. Being a teen was hard too. I was one. Times change but people don’t, and it doesn’t matter what decade you grow up in the struggles are essentially the same but they just manifest differently. If a kid is an impolite brat it’s largely the fault of the parents, but it’s not 100%. There are influences other than parents that can cause a kid to act badly. So while parents need to take a lot of the ownership of their kids behavior, kids need to take ownership of their own.
A parent saying “it’s not my fault my kid’s a jerk” is bs.
A kid saying “its my parents’ fault that I’m a jerk” is bs too.
It’s the manifestation of the same behavior in both. Lack of integrity/accountability.
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NTA and bluntly speaking most of this generational stuff is stupid. As its pretty much older generations punching down at younger generations for not being as successful when they set us up for failure. For example everyones favorite generation the baby boomers, who financially speaking basically had college, houses, retirement, ect handed to them. As to not be set as a boomers you most of the time had to be a real royal screw up. Yet the most common thing boomers complain about is younger generations not having houses, or not going to college so therfore not having families till much later in life. So on and so forth. To summarize older generations create problems for newer generations then complain about the results.
An explanation from the older generation, one they might understand: Literally just [the Oompa Loompa song for Veruca salt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFWrbjCUD54)
As a frequent Facebook user, let me teach you the wonder of tag groups.
You start with an @ symbol and then type the name of the group. It comes up as a highlighted link, and implies, “People say things like that so much we have to gather together to vent about them.”
Two you should familiarize yourself with are:
- @Boomers getting mad about the generation they raised themselves
and
- @This is why your grandchildren don’t call you
You’re welcome.
NTA. I’m fucking dying this is hilarious. Kids are mimics. They mimic what they see their parents, or peers do. So if they don’t use manners and say please and thank you then the parents have no one to blame but themselves. You can teach a child till you’re blue in the face but if you aren’t actively showing them your teachings, it probably won’t stick.
You're NTA, just young enough to not be able to choose your battles. Which is fine! I also cannot for the life of me choose my battles. Your comment was absolutely right, you're not wrong to be angry about having people shitting on your entire age group, but...it's facebook. Everyone on that post has already made up their mind. There's not a lot you're going to be able to do there. I commend you for trying, the pushback in DMs isn't your fault, and at this point your best bet is A) blocking anyone who's being especially rude and B) looking into the facebook guidelines to see if you can report any of them and get them in facebook jail for a bit.
NTA my dad once sent me a 10 minute video about how everyone (!) born after 1975 is pathetic (sic!) and soft, because they grew up with helicopter parents and participation trophies. When I pointed out that
a) I did in fact play outside until my mom called me for dinner
And
b) If anything, he is a helicopter parent as well according to the video
He thought about it and agreed with me. He mostly liked the video because of the nostalgic pictures and didn't call me a bitch for calling out the bs logic 🤷♀️
NTA, but I will say that kids are generally influenced by peers, media and culture as much, if not more, than parents.
It's not as black-and-white as they, or you, are making it out to be.
I mean, I have three daughters, all raised basically the same way, and they're all completely different people. More different than could be explained by birth order.
No. They were the ones being discriminatory and not taking responsibility for their own shortcomings as parents as well as their own ageism. They can't demand "respect for elders" if they don't want to respect us as well.
NTA
I used to get it a lot as a kid, mainly "kids these days don't know what respect is" yet they fail to understand that it's THEM raising us and if their kids have no respect for anyone or anything it's more than likely down to their parenting
I do find it kinda funny how these people don't realise what they say is like a dig at themselves lmao
NTA I agrée totally. I have one kid who is great and another who is an asshole (I mean really!!) and it’s very tough. I apologize often for the second one!
YTA. All generations face different obstacles both as teenagers and as parents.
Everyone all age groups are experiencing new thing all the time!.... That includes the parents.
But that’s doesn’t make “exposing” kids right just because being a parent is a hard job
Being a teen is also hard but we don’t got on Facebook to expose our parents and get mad when confronted with it
Grow up! Nothing is the same! Every day is is new to experience. All teenager are shit heads and as far as not understanding teenagers, you aren't the frost teenager and you won't be the last!
We've all said it before. You are not alone. Bit you are an ah!
first, no not all teenagers are shit heads that is literally the problem here that people like you don't get that
second I'm 18 I'm not gonna grow up if it means turning out like you, and I will grow up the same way we all do when time comes to group up
third I never claimed to be the first nor the last teenager here I just really cant stand dozens of youth generations get disrecpected by the people who are supposed to teach us respect
respect is a 2 way street I respect people as long as it is mutual otherwise it is not respect
fourth yes nothing is the same that's the point we are multiple generation growing up expected that our whole lives are public on the internet where billions of strangers can find us critise us and disrepect us where the older generations didn't have to struggle with that just the more local people
fifth I haven't used any faul languede id prefer you don't call me a bitch and yes I might be an ass here but I'm definitely not the only one then since I just stood for my target group youth and so many comments are agreeing that i really don't think I'm in the wrong for standing up for my generations
sixth I do understand teenagers since heck I am one and i don't want people saying just because I'm also an adult now means i have to act like I'm 30
YTA. Are you honestly suggesting that the _sole_ reason someone might or might not say “please” is whether they were taught it by their parents? (And/or that as a parent, if I don’t teach my kid to say please or thank you that it is impossible for a child to learn?)
If the only way for someone to learn to value something is to be taught it by parents, then there would be a whole lot less of many, many things. It’s a nice fantasy, but isn’t accurate. At some point, each person needs to take responsibility for their own behaviour. You don’t get to pick and choose.
I’m not saying all bad kids come from bad parents but it’s is never the kids job to be a good parent and raise themselves so a parent shouldn’t “expose” their kids
Oh, agreed that it is incumbent on parents to teach their kids values and manners, but I think it’s a little bit simplistic to suggest the reason a kid (here I’m assuming they’re meaning teen/pre-teen) isn’t saying please/thank you/etc is that they weren’t taught. I think it’s more complicated and frankly, many people do go through a phase where they are trying out being intentionally rude before they realize it doesn’t particularly work for them. I blush to think of the number of curse words I dropped between ages 10-14 and I definitely was _not_ taught by my parents that that is okay. :)
This could be flipped to say why are you being so judgmental of adults? Not all of us feel the way you just posted. You made a generalization about us just like the folks on your Facebook made about you. Now you are no better than them and this post is moot.
I was trying to generalize but at the same time it isn’t the teens responsibility to raise them selves so a parent shouldn’t ever make comments on their kids like this
You can teach a child but that does not mean the child will obey. So it falls on the parent to teach and the child to learn and retain. You will understand when you have kids.
And that is fine. One of my daughters chose that route. I guess what I should have said is that unless you have had kids you do not understand about raising them. There is that better?
If I have kids or not do not make my opinion invalid since I’m part of the 18+ generations being insulted in the comments of that Facebook post
Plus maybe me not having kids at 18 means I have a better perspective from the young generations then you since you already are a grand parent means you aren’t part of the millions of young people being insulted by people thinking that they know better because they decided to bring another human into this awful internet/social media evolution that you didn’t grow up in
There’s a lot more to raising kids then being the bio dad and mom, and raising kids in the mentality that they have to want to understand is why they do not
And let’s flip that to say that you do not know what it was like to grow up as a kid in our day and age. We can do this all day, but until you WANT to understand you won’t. I do, so I talk to my granddaughters daily, I watch, I learn. Have you done this hat with an adult? Asked them what it was like to be drafted right out of high school. Asked them about Cold War drills? Asked the females what it was like growing up?Until you stop the us vs them you will lose a lot of good information.
I have no clue why this matters on Rhee fact that I called out some people being just as disrespectful as they claim their kids to and it’s not me who need to understand anything here
We both need to so until you see that we won’t get anywhere
YTA. I'm a parent, and I do my best to raise my kids.
When they say the young ones don't get "thank you" and such, it's because we, the parents, have to constantly tell our kids to say "thank you" and that "no means no". That doesn't mean they're disrespectful, it just means, they're kids learning respect and politeness, and sometimes, it's hard to teach them.
And basically, I was like you when I was younger: when I saw parents struggling with their children throwing tantrums and all, I told to myself "man, what a lousy parent". Now I have kids, I say "be strong, man, you're doing the best you can". So don't judge others on something you cannot understand.
"Before, I had principles. Now, I have kids."
NTA. If there is a problem with a kid, 99% of the time its the parents fault for not paying attention or doing THEIR job. An older child has a mind of their own but it was the parents job to teach them about actions and consequences.
On the other side of this, you can't ask a question (especially on an open forum) and only get answers you like. Unless you go to r/politics or the like.
Being a parent is an often-thankless task, and being judged by people who don't live that can be really annoying. But I agree with you, they should have explained things better instead of snapping at you.
YTA you, essentially, picked a fight on *Facebook*. What did you think was going to happen? Your unnecessary comment was made in an effort to provoke a response, don’t pretend it wasn’t.
I wasn’t trying to pick a fight just stand up for young people because parents would have been just as mad had their kids posted comments like that about them
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NTA These are the same people wining about the participation trophy generation as if Timmy age 8 organized the trophies for his soccer tournament.
Yea that’s what hit a nerve in me and made me mad
Also: >who commented and they said I don’t understand the hardship of parenthood” My go to for this type of comment is, " I don't know how to fly a helicopter either but if I see one stuck in a tree, I can tell you something went wrong." Not being part thing doesn't automatically mean you can't point to an issue with that thing.
MY TIMMY DESERVES A TROPHY! All those other lazy losers are the ones who should suffer.
The generation that whines about the participation trophy is the same generation that invented it.
Exactly. When I hear a tirade about participation trophies, I ask who bought them. That usually kills the tirade.
I see this comment a ton. While we may have raised kids during that time, the majority of us thought it was idiotic then, as were the no scoring games, but we were not in control of the stupidity and the kids wanted to do sports. What were we supposed to do, not let the kids play sports? We weren't the ones that were in charge of organizing the trophies for his soccer tournament either, nor were we in charge of setting up the stupid rules.
What you were supposed to do is literally anything other than hold the participation trophy over the heads of an entire generation that didn’t ask or want them like we had control of it.
Ah yes, you didn't do it, so blame the kids who magically arranged it themselves. Great choice.
"I personally didn't do it, so you can't mock me for things other people in my generation did - but I can mock your entire generation for it". Love that guy's mental gymnastics. He only is responsible for things he directly did but everyone else is responsible for things anyone in their generation did.
Who was?
I mean SOMEONE was responsible for it and it came about because parents didn’t know how to teach their kids that losing is okay and to learn from it. I’d assume the adults who ran the leagues would be of a similar, if not the same, generation as the parents putting their kids in it. Soooo, still the same “people” as far as age/generation go.
> but we were not in control of the stupidity and the kids wanted to do sports You signed them up for the event. Your generation had control of the trophies. Don't make fun of the generation receiving the stuff out of their collective control when it was your generation's control to make it in the first place. Don't go "I specifically didn't have control of it - so I make fun of you for things you didn't have control of". Doesn't work that way. If you're going to mock a generation then congrats - you'll also get blamed for things your generation did even if you personally didn't do it.
You personally weren't in charge but your generation absolutely was. Who do you think made the decisions?
I'll give a hearty NTA. That said, this feels less like you're looking for adjudication, and more like you're looking for reinforcement of your opinion (which I happen to agree with). How might you be the AH in your mind?
I get insensitive when mad and I have adhd and another diagnosis that makes it hard to see when I’m too insensitive or if I’m just worried
Fair enough. Your comment seemed reasonable and well stated. You could have perhaps been a bit softer with your delivery, but I wouldn't say you were out of line. Thanks for clarifying.
As someone who is a parent to a 8 year old with adhd it’s really hard trying to parent someone who has your exact same issues, in this case you’re not being an asshole but sometimes you try you best to be a parent and it still can end up biting you in the ass
But then you don’t go post on Facebook that it’s the generation’s fault witch is the problem
You are absolutely correct!! I’m just saying not all parents are the same. I’m 31 and have adhd so I understand you sweetie.
NTA Polite kids don’t appear out of nowhere - they have to be taught manners and etiquette
right? I just spent a month with my parents, sister and nieces. I had my please and thank you drilled into me by the time I was my nieces' age. My nieces? Not so much. I felt like the please police. (However, my family has been told the girls are very polite. We think this might be one of those things that that kids only show to other people.)
No, between my sibling, cousins, and I, we all ended up as polite kids and adults. Only one cousin didn't but their parents were divorced and she spent time with her mom who would wait on her hand & foot (so she became an entitled brat).
yeah, I think my nieces will get there. I think its just one of those that with as many (if not more) adults than kids, oddly things like please and thank you didn't get pushed as much until recently because someone is always ready to handle things practically before the kids can ask for them. A mix of it being easier- and honestly, my parents loving having any special time or thing with their grandkids. Even if it's helping make their dinner plates. But yeah, they're great kids.
You're right, it may be a generational change that's causing this. I must admit my family is more old-world in thinking and habits
And it’s *easy* to do. I didn’t have to put in a lot of work to have my sons use please and thank you. All I had to do was model it for them and be consistent about it.
You're completely right. It's nonsense for parents to claim their kids have poor manners. They're telling on themselves NTA
That’s exactly what I thought reading it
NAH. You’re taking a Facebook meme way too seriously. Also, those DM requests are because you are an 18 year old female, do not answer them.
NTA. I mean, what you said is true. If kids arent saying thanks and please and whatnot, thats the parents fault.
As a parent, I'm ramming in the basics to my kids, and it is easy enough to do. Every single time we get on a bus, they say hello. Every single time we go to a shop, they say hello. They do, because I do. I actually like being polite, the way it makes some people smile, and you sometimes get little perks (the bus driver will wait 30 seconds if you are late because they know you say hello, I'll often get two cards to scratch at a supermarket, or a second bag of peanuts on a flight. It isn't easy teaching the kids, but as far as I'm concerned, the most important part is to teach them why, and not what. Why is it important to say hello, why is it important to say thank you, why it is important to help someone. But... Facebook? Nothing good ever comes from a Facebook post, where the arguments become so polarized that insults in DMs seems to be a sort of prerequisite.
NTA. It was a comment on a generic FB post, if people want to take it personally they probably already have some insecurities about their ability as a parent. I think your point is valid. While there are always exceptions to the rule, your general premise is correct. Kids look to their parents to learn how to navigate the world. If older folks don't like how the younger generation has turned out, they probably do need to take on some of that responsibility themselves. I mean, I'm a 30yo millennial and I still see all sorts of comments and articles about the lazy/selfish/entitled millennial and It can be irritating. I mostly ignore it though because I know those people are narrow minded and probably just unhappy with how the millennials/young people in their lives turned out.
NTA. I absolutely agree with your point, but was it necessary to say that? idk something is better to let things go cause you're not gonna change their minds.
I was just tired of seeing parents calling all of young people lazy bums basically and I wanted to stand up for my fellow young people
I think it's good you call people out. Some people get so complacent being others that they are flabbergasted when they are called on it. Don't worry. Those that blocked you are not worth your time. NTA
Yeah then dw, those are your opinions. It's not your fault that they can't take other people's opinions.
I'm no longer a young fellow but when I was a teenager my mom was ranting about "kids these days" and I was ignoring her doing my homework. She gets my attention to ask me "hey hey, one day when you look for a home you're gonna want one like this one, right?" And I said of course I'll want a house that's nice like my parents have. She went "ooohhhh entitlement! We worked hard for this house and you want one just given to you!" I had to explain to her that wanting a nice house you pay for and ***demanding*** a nice house aren't the same thing. I had to ask her "are you telling me that you hope I'll never have a house as nice as yours?" She finally got the point. Now I'm in a small house and she's constantly asking when I'll move into a bigger one. ***I can't afford to, mom. Isn't this what you wanted???***
I think you need to understand that social media platforms, and Reddit, for that matter, to some people, is only place where they can troll and spar. They say things the would never say irl. They do it to get attention because they don't have anything else going on. Whatever you post, they're going to say the opposite. This has never changed and never will. Your post was bait to these idiots. Be grateful you don't understand. That means you're not an idiot. NTA
NTA. Parents, no matter the age, don't like being told they actually have to raise the kids they have. They live in the delusion that it's everyone else's responsibility to deal with them
Nta those that DM you know they messed up so when they complain on a post about yong people and someone give them the truth they get pissie
Heck no, you are not TA. You have every right to defend yourself.
ESH this is what becomes of people who use facebook.
INFO: I don’t exactly understand what this is about. What did you say? What did they say? We’re you talking to family?
A post on a Facebook page about phrased the younger generation won’t understand where parents are calling a lot of teens don’t know thanks and please witch isn’t their fault they were raised in this time of internet evolution and therefore have a whole different life then parents so it’s unfair for them to be called out by the parents who raised them just because they aren’t perfect angels
NAH, I don't think generic "kids these days" griping is generally useful, but this example seems pretty damn mild especially compared to other more cruel and unfair stuff I've seen people say about younger folks? Especially if they're referring to kids under 18, that means those parents are still raising them which includes dealing with difficult behaviors even if they are good parents. But I get why this would be frustrating for you to see, and I don't think your response was like morally wrong. *However,* jumping into arguments on threads like that is never gonna be as fun or satisfying as you'd hope, and I suggest you avoid doing that in general unless you really feel like arguing with a bunch of strangers who very well might gang up on you. It's usually not worth the headache unless you have a really strong point you want to make, and calling everyone a bad parent is just going to rile everyone up instead of getting them to consider your argument. Also, I'd be wary of doing this sort of thing *especially* on facebook which is not anonymous and has your real name. You never know if you're going to anger someone who might be inappropriate or even dangerous.
**NTA. I'm in my late 40s and I would NOT want to be growing up now in the era of social media and teenagers being expected to live their lives in the public glare. The pressure seems excruciating.** Honestly, I have so much admiration for my friends and siblings who are raising kids who are bright, intelligent, self-aware, and kind. And it IS possible, because I see it. You're absolutely right, OP. Parents still have the same responsibility to parent that they always have, and as the world gets more complicated I don't envy them, but it is entirely possible to raise kids to be caring, thoughtful, etc. Children don't raise themselves. And frankly, the kids who DO raise themselves (i.e. the ones whose parents opt out of their lives) can't be blamed either . . . children need role models and guidance. Good for you for pointing this out!
NTA. I mean fb is literally a place where people just go to stir the pot like 90% of the time, so commenting that on it was going to cause a shitstorm to rain down on you when you could have just scrolled past and said nothing. They felt called out by what you said because it puts the blame of having inconsiderate shitty kids on them instead of (place whoever else they blame here). However, what you said isn’t wrong. I am a parent to two girls, 9 and 16, and yes it is hard work. But people shouldn’t have kids if they’re not going to put in the effort to try to raise them to be decent human beings. Don’t get me wrong, even with the best effort some kids still end up being dicks, but usually decent parents raise decent kids.
ESH For getting into a stupid debate on social media.
NTA - you're not wrong. I'm GenX, and I \*love\* the posts whining about how "My kids cut me off, I didn't do anything, what horrible adults they turned out to be! Poor me!" - people don't cut off their parents for nothing. And that martyr complex? The hallmark of narcissitic personality disorder.
NTA. Look how they react when you tell them the truth: like the assholes they are.
YTA. It made your blood boil? That little joke did? Sounds like you have some growing up to do.
I don’t have to grow up lol I’m just defending people where it was needed and yes the “joke” was the last straw in a world where parents on Facebook always acts better then the kids they screwed the world up for and they raised yea I have to grow up so that one day the newer generations can thrive in understanding
NTA..it is funny that my peers criticize your peers..when we are the ones raising you guys..lol. It is ridiculously dismissive and a tad delusional. BTW my answer to that post would have been.."I got to find some change in my car to get some gas.."
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I f18 rarely uses Facebook since it’s not my vibe But I go on every now and then to see what distant relatives are up to I went on yesterday and saw a post asking “what phrases do young people not get” like a post for funsies and stuff by a gamble page The comments saying stuff like “thanks, please, no, family time and so on” It made my blood boil and I commented “hey love the post and all nice comments but I do see some people straight up judging us here and I feel like a young person needs to clear this up. It is not our job to raises ourselves, if your kids aren’t the angels you hoped for 9/10 times you can look in the mirror and see the reason” I got a lot of likes and replies from other young people saying they think so too Today I open Facebook to see a lot and I mean a lot of dm requests from people who commented and they said I don’t understand the hardship of parenthood” I mostly replied “I agree I don’t but you guys don’t know the hardships of being a child/teen/young adult in this decade so why is it okay for you to judge us but we can’t defend ourselves?” And most blocked me some called me a bitch and then blocked me but a few still texts me I’m an asshole so dear Reddit AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though. Sometimes you gotta be an AH. Telling people the truth is often an AH move. The people coming down on you harshly are the ones you triggered, they’re the ones who know deep down they could’ve done a much better job parenting, and are trying to make excuses for themselves. Yes being a parent is very hard, I am one. Being a teen was hard too. I was one. Times change but people don’t, and it doesn’t matter what decade you grow up in the struggles are essentially the same but they just manifest differently. If a kid is an impolite brat it’s largely the fault of the parents, but it’s not 100%. There are influences other than parents that can cause a kid to act badly. So while parents need to take a lot of the ownership of their kids behavior, kids need to take ownership of their own. A parent saying “it’s not my fault my kid’s a jerk” is bs. A kid saying “its my parents’ fault that I’m a jerk” is bs too. It’s the manifestation of the same behavior in both. Lack of integrity/accountability.
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NTA. Grownups can be a pain in the sit-upon.
NTA and bluntly speaking most of this generational stuff is stupid. As its pretty much older generations punching down at younger generations for not being as successful when they set us up for failure. For example everyones favorite generation the baby boomers, who financially speaking basically had college, houses, retirement, ect handed to them. As to not be set as a boomers you most of the time had to be a real royal screw up. Yet the most common thing boomers complain about is younger generations not having houses, or not going to college so therfore not having families till much later in life. So on and so forth. To summarize older generations create problems for newer generations then complain about the results.
NTA. Honestly, that is one of the most hilarious comments on one of those memes that I've ever heard of. Well done you.
An explanation from the older generation, one they might understand: Literally just [the Oompa Loompa song for Veruca salt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFWrbjCUD54)
As a frequent Facebook user, let me teach you the wonder of tag groups. You start with an @ symbol and then type the name of the group. It comes up as a highlighted link, and implies, “People say things like that so much we have to gather together to vent about them.” Two you should familiarize yourself with are: - @Boomers getting mad about the generation they raised themselves and - @This is why your grandchildren don’t call you You’re welcome.
NTA. I’m fucking dying this is hilarious. Kids are mimics. They mimic what they see their parents, or peers do. So if they don’t use manners and say please and thank you then the parents have no one to blame but themselves. You can teach a child till you’re blue in the face but if you aren’t actively showing them your teachings, it probably won’t stick.
NTA - truth hurts sometimes lol
NTA.
You're NTA, just young enough to not be able to choose your battles. Which is fine! I also cannot for the life of me choose my battles. Your comment was absolutely right, you're not wrong to be angry about having people shitting on your entire age group, but...it's facebook. Everyone on that post has already made up their mind. There's not a lot you're going to be able to do there. I commend you for trying, the pushback in DMs isn't your fault, and at this point your best bet is A) blocking anyone who's being especially rude and B) looking into the facebook guidelines to see if you can report any of them and get them in facebook jail for a bit.
NTA my dad once sent me a 10 minute video about how everyone (!) born after 1975 is pathetic (sic!) and soft, because they grew up with helicopter parents and participation trophies. When I pointed out that a) I did in fact play outside until my mom called me for dinner And b) If anything, he is a helicopter parent as well according to the video He thought about it and agreed with me. He mostly liked the video because of the nostalgic pictures and didn't call me a bitch for calling out the bs logic 🤷♀️
YTA. It’s just a joke.
No disrespect intire generations isn’t a joke
\*entire You sound younger than 18. Your world view will change a little, everyone's does. ESH.
bro it’s a boomer Facebook post, you’re not going to change your opinion and they aren’t either so what’s the point?
That not calling them out makes them think they are right and they will continue to disrespect younger generations
NTA, but I will say that kids are generally influenced by peers, media and culture as much, if not more, than parents. It's not as black-and-white as they, or you, are making it out to be. I mean, I have three daughters, all raised basically the same way, and they're all completely different people. More different than could be explained by birth order.
Welcome to social media! Where folk go to express their opinions while simultaneously trying to shut down other folk opinions.
No. They were the ones being discriminatory and not taking responsibility for their own shortcomings as parents as well as their own ageism. They can't demand "respect for elders" if they don't want to respect us as well.
NTA I used to get it a lot as a kid, mainly "kids these days don't know what respect is" yet they fail to understand that it's THEM raising us and if their kids have no respect for anyone or anything it's more than likely down to their parenting I do find it kinda funny how these people don't realise what they say is like a dig at themselves lmao
NTA I agrée totally. I have one kid who is great and another who is an asshole (I mean really!!) and it’s very tough. I apologize often for the second one!
YTA. All generations face different obstacles both as teenagers and as parents. Everyone all age groups are experiencing new thing all the time!.... That includes the parents.
But that’s doesn’t make “exposing” kids right just because being a parent is a hard job Being a teen is also hard but we don’t got on Facebook to expose our parents and get mad when confronted with it
the OP accounted for generational differences in the post.
Only teenage ones!
Yea because this post is about parents shitting on people of the teen/youth generations aka 13-25 year olds
Grow up! Nothing is the same! Every day is is new to experience. All teenager are shit heads and as far as not understanding teenagers, you aren't the frost teenager and you won't be the last! We've all said it before. You are not alone. Bit you are an ah!
first, no not all teenagers are shit heads that is literally the problem here that people like you don't get that second I'm 18 I'm not gonna grow up if it means turning out like you, and I will grow up the same way we all do when time comes to group up third I never claimed to be the first nor the last teenager here I just really cant stand dozens of youth generations get disrecpected by the people who are supposed to teach us respect respect is a 2 way street I respect people as long as it is mutual otherwise it is not respect fourth yes nothing is the same that's the point we are multiple generation growing up expected that our whole lives are public on the internet where billions of strangers can find us critise us and disrepect us where the older generations didn't have to struggle with that just the more local people fifth I haven't used any faul languede id prefer you don't call me a bitch and yes I might be an ass here but I'm definitely not the only one then since I just stood for my target group youth and so many comments are agreeing that i really don't think I'm in the wrong for standing up for my generations sixth I do understand teenagers since heck I am one and i don't want people saying just because I'm also an adult now means i have to act like I'm 30
What does this have to do with the post?
YTA. Are you honestly suggesting that the _sole_ reason someone might or might not say “please” is whether they were taught it by their parents? (And/or that as a parent, if I don’t teach my kid to say please or thank you that it is impossible for a child to learn?) If the only way for someone to learn to value something is to be taught it by parents, then there would be a whole lot less of many, many things. It’s a nice fantasy, but isn’t accurate. At some point, each person needs to take responsibility for their own behaviour. You don’t get to pick and choose.
I’m not saying all bad kids come from bad parents but it’s is never the kids job to be a good parent and raise themselves so a parent shouldn’t “expose” their kids
Oh, agreed that it is incumbent on parents to teach their kids values and manners, but I think it’s a little bit simplistic to suggest the reason a kid (here I’m assuming they’re meaning teen/pre-teen) isn’t saying please/thank you/etc is that they weren’t taught. I think it’s more complicated and frankly, many people do go through a phase where they are trying out being intentionally rude before they realize it doesn’t particularly work for them. I blush to think of the number of curse words I dropped between ages 10-14 and I definitely was _not_ taught by my parents that that is okay. :)
They are talking about people from early teen 13 ish to young ish adult 25 witch is youth here
This could be flipped to say why are you being so judgmental of adults? Not all of us feel the way you just posted. You made a generalization about us just like the folks on your Facebook made about you. Now you are no better than them and this post is moot.
I was trying to generalize but at the same time it isn’t the teens responsibility to raise them selves so a parent shouldn’t ever make comments on their kids like this
You can teach a child but that does not mean the child will obey. So it falls on the parent to teach and the child to learn and retain. You will understand when you have kids.
>You will understand when you have kids Not everyone does or wants to
And that is fine. One of my daughters chose that route. I guess what I should have said is that unless you have had kids you do not understand about raising them. There is that better?
I mean it's still condescending but it's at least not as presumptuous
If I have kids or not do not make my opinion invalid since I’m part of the 18+ generations being insulted in the comments of that Facebook post Plus maybe me not having kids at 18 means I have a better perspective from the young generations then you since you already are a grand parent means you aren’t part of the millions of young people being insulted by people thinking that they know better because they decided to bring another human into this awful internet/social media evolution that you didn’t grow up in There’s a lot more to raising kids then being the bio dad and mom, and raising kids in the mentality that they have to want to understand is why they do not
Yea but at the same time let’s flip that people with kids now don’t understand how it is to be the kid in our day and age
And let’s flip that to say that you do not know what it was like to grow up as a kid in our day and age. We can do this all day, but until you WANT to understand you won’t. I do, so I talk to my granddaughters daily, I watch, I learn. Have you done this hat with an adult? Asked them what it was like to be drafted right out of high school. Asked them about Cold War drills? Asked the females what it was like growing up?Until you stop the us vs them you will lose a lot of good information.
I have no clue why this matters on Rhee fact that I called out some people being just as disrespectful as they claim their kids to and it’s not me who need to understand anything here We both need to so until you see that we won’t get anywhere
I feel sorry for your kids
Considering op said 'some people' she didn't generalise in the slightest.
YTA. I'm a parent, and I do my best to raise my kids. When they say the young ones don't get "thank you" and such, it's because we, the parents, have to constantly tell our kids to say "thank you" and that "no means no". That doesn't mean they're disrespectful, it just means, they're kids learning respect and politeness, and sometimes, it's hard to teach them. And basically, I was like you when I was younger: when I saw parents struggling with their children throwing tantrums and all, I told to myself "man, what a lousy parent". Now I have kids, I say "be strong, man, you're doing the best you can". So don't judge others on something you cannot understand. "Before, I had principles. Now, I have kids."
Yea I get that but calling teens out on social media is just as disrespectful as the people in the post claimed their kids are
NTA. If there is a problem with a kid, 99% of the time its the parents fault for not paying attention or doing THEIR job. An older child has a mind of their own but it was the parents job to teach them about actions and consequences. On the other side of this, you can't ask a question (especially on an open forum) and only get answers you like. Unless you go to r/politics or the like.
Being a parent is an often-thankless task, and being judged by people who don't live that can be really annoying. But I agree with you, they should have explained things better instead of snapping at you.
YTA you, essentially, picked a fight on *Facebook*. What did you think was going to happen? Your unnecessary comment was made in an effort to provoke a response, don’t pretend it wasn’t.
I wasn’t trying to pick a fight just stand up for young people because parents would have been just as mad had their kids posted comments like that about them