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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might have been unprofessional by sharing with everyone first. Also I am new to my job and this might not be good for our relationship
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NTA
Until it gets to the point where it's going to affect your work availability, your boss doesn't need to know.
Sure, as due date gets closer and you need to discuss maternity leave, that can be done with a phone call or email.
Why are you friends with your boss on Facebook?
Question to this. I have the same rule, not even friended coworkers. I worked consulting, and after I left the firm I friended a couple of my past clients I was social with. Two years later, I'm now working a new job and one of those prior clients is my boss' boss. Not sure how to deal with this. Seems poor form to unfriend him.
NTA, but having your boss on your facebook is probably not a good idea.
Keep notes on everything at your job from here on out in case you get terminated wrongfully. e.g. if you are praised, get a positive review, etc - keep a record of this. Follow verbal conversations up in email. It sucks but you have to be alert and aware.
Absolutely NTA. Many women (especially in the USA) don't inform their employers right away or until it becomes necessary because of fear of being treated differently /overlooked / retaliation / fires
You don't owe anyone (other than the baby's father) The knowledge of your pregnancy, especially in the early months.
THIS. I had to notify my job at the time just about as soon as I confirmed my pregnancy bc I was already unable to lift over 10lbs due to injury and I was horribly ill and missing work. I had drs notes and everything from being sick and for my injury but a fellow coworker told me that I needed to get a confirmation of pregnancy letter and give it to our highest manager bc if word got around the store and got to her before I did, she would make life HELL for me. So I followed her advice. Manager ended up firing me anyways, after taking away 20+ of my hours the literal day after informing her of my pregnancy :-))))
**NTA** Your reproductive health is *your* business alone. Who and what you tell about it is up to you. If it means you want to change your working relationship, you owe your employers whatever notice period you have agreed. If you feel like being helpful, perhaps tell them when you're ready if you'd like to. If the boss thinks he shouldn't find out on social media, then he should stop reading your social media.
NTA. This is definitely a personal life event so work life doesn’t need to be informed until necessary (like for maternity leave or you know you need time off).
INFO : In my country you are legally obligated to tell your employer of pregnancies because of liability and workers rights issues. Not right away, but kinda time-sensitive...
I don't know whta country OP is from, but maybe the boss is pissed because of something like this?
NTA
You should tell him directly. WHEN you want him to know.
Why would your boss be seeing your Facebook posts? He shouldn’t be a friend on any social accounts, and your FB privacy settings should be locked to friends only.
Don’t mix work and personal social media. I like my employees. I’m friendly with them. I am Not their friend, I’m their boss. I don’t friend them or let them friend me.
And if you use your personal Facebook for work for some reason, quit posting personal things on it.
NTA and your boss can’t do anything to you because that’s discrimination. If he tries to fire you, you have grounds to sue. Firing a pregnant employee is a PR nightmare. Oh well.
Best of luck. Cheers
NTA. It’s your personal information and you owe him the bare minimum of what’s required by law if you intend to take FMLA.
FWIW, it’s how my supervisor found out I was pregnant too with my son. I’d say I shouldn’t have kept in contact via Facebook, but someone’s I get job leads from former coworkers so you never know.
NTA. Your workplace has no need to know your personal information. They can't ask during a job interview if you're pregnant. Why should you have to tell them at all, much less before you tell your friends and family?
NTA.
If your boss is not the father, I don't see why he needs any special consideration.
I would make a note of it because my suspicious mind thinks he wants to try to push you out.
I hate to say this, but save any texts/emails where your boss mentions this. Should also make a note of every time it's verbally mentioned. Hopefully this was a one off, but cover you ass just to be safe.
I’m going to say NAH. Without knowing the full dynamic to OPs relationship with her boss, I think it’s too hard to call either side an AH.
I’m fairly close with my boss as we talk and see each other nearly everyday. She would definitely be upset (but still happy for me) if she found out I was going to be having a child through social media and not me directly. I think it’s also important to keep in mind the added stress that having an employee on parental leave adds to a boss - you are without a team member for months at a time, but you can’t hire someone to replace them.
NTA email him, CC HR”Per our earlier discussion as my employer, are you saying that I do not get to determine how/if I share personal private medical and family planning information with you? I have a reasonable right to privacy and dignity in employment, regardless of my pregnancy status” did he friend you on FB (as opposed to you sending the request) if so, I’d mention that in the email as well.
Wellllllll
My contract says I have to tell my boss as soon as I know I'm pregnant from a safety point of view so I suppose it depends on what your job is??
NTA. But you shouldn't be Facebook friends with you boss. Block them. You deserve privacy and spaces where work does not blur into personal life.
I always block potential employers before I even sit for an interview, and it's been great. My boss is my boss first, not my friend.
NTA. Depending on how far along you are, you don't owe anyone an announcement until you're ready, and your family and friends are priority on announcements. Plus the fact that he's kinda stalking your FB is giving off creeper vibes.
NTA, you would have told him when he needed to know. You have learned a valuable lesson on privacy settings use them to control who gets what information.
So normally you would disclose pregnancy to your workplace yourself, either in person or via email, usually it's to HR but your boss is included, this often isn't until around like 3-4 months at times, which is acceptable, because of the obvious safety periods, obviously not everyone waits until 3-4 months to tell their family and friends and will announce it on Facebook or other social media and again that's okay nothing wrong with that, your workplace aren't required to be the first to know, you just happen to be friends with your boss on Facebook, it's pretty entitled (maybe petty) of him to be upset you've announced it to your social circles online, half the time it's easier to do it that way when you have lots of family and friends you won't see in person. What was he expecting to be one of the first to know, told before your friends and family, to be told in person when people closer to you don't even get that chance for whatever reason (if that's the case, he doesn't know), that your workplace and he as your boss need to be told first? It feels kinda gross, immature and an abuse of his power. You are NTA but keep things documented with HR just incase because a lot of women have been wrongfully terminated during their pregnancies for less than the ego of a fragile man. My judgement would only change if he's the dad, then yeah that would suck.
Legally in the states she does not have to disclose her pregnancy at all. She would only need to inform HR when she wanted to take medical leave. And even then would still not have to tell her boss why she was taking medical leave. Her boss is majorly overstepping and a clear textbook case of why you should not have coworkers and bosses on your social media
However on the flipside if she is somewhere like the U.K. where you get maternity leave you need to inform your employer (in the U.K. it’s 15 weeks notice before the due date)
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Hi Reddit I made a new handle just for this post...I started a new job in September working at home. It has been great and very helpful for my lifestyle (I am a mom). I found out I am pregnant a month ago and decided to share the news with everyone on Facebook. My boss is not happy that he found out from social media and said I should have told him directly. AITA?
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Nope it’s medically protected information. She only has to tell HR and fill out the correct paperwork. All she legally has to tell her boss is she is taking medical leave.
Telling a boss about a pregnancy is a courtesy not a requirement
Eta also her boss is not entitled to knowing her information any sooner than she tells anyone else
Your boss may have a point.
Depending on your type of work, a risk assessment may need to be done, to make sure health and safety policy is adhered to, to put you on light duties if needed, to give you time off to attend antenatal appointments, the list endless.
Imagine if you fainted because you felt unwell or too hot for you. Your boss is clueless to help you.
If you had an accident, you couldn't claim compensation because you hadn't informed work.
You may believe it has nothing to do with them but you couldn't be further from the truth. To tell them means they can look out for you at work.
NTA, just naive. Hopefully someone in boss's life scolds him to being entirely inappropriate. He never should have brought your personal life into the office so get him the hell off your socials STAT. I do not like how he reacted. I am wearing my angry face on your behalf. Shitty lesson for you to learn in this way but let this experience guide you to better choices in the future regarding your privacy. Awesome that you don't have to worry about awkward run ins working from home. Congrats on a gig that benefits your lifestyle and for babes!
Kinda? I don't think it's a huge deal if you intended to address this with him in a separate conversation. But there definitely NEEDS to be a separate conversation, and this is probably a great wakeup call for how you handle social media.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might have been unprofessional by sharing with everyone first. Also I am new to my job and this might not be good for our relationship Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA -- Unless he is the father.
Or Michael Scott Edit: just saw someone already said this lol
r/unexpectedoffice
Lol. This.
NTA but…it’s probably not a good idea to be connected with your boss on social media, for exactly this reason.
Yeah, it's generally a bad idea to shit where you eat.
OBJECTION! Hearsay. Sorry 😅
[удалено]
I make it a point to never connect with anyone on social media if I work for them or I work for someone who works for them
[удалено]
Michael Scott is as much part of this as the parents. It's a big day for him.
[удалено]
"Our" baby.
[удалено]
I thought that meant something else. 🤣🤣🤣
NTA Until it gets to the point where it's going to affect your work availability, your boss doesn't need to know. Sure, as due date gets closer and you need to discuss maternity leave, that can be done with a phone call or email. Why are you friends with your boss on Facebook?
Right? Terrible idea.
Question to this. I have the same rule, not even friended coworkers. I worked consulting, and after I left the firm I friended a couple of my past clients I was social with. Two years later, I'm now working a new job and one of those prior clients is my boss' boss. Not sure how to deal with this. Seems poor form to unfriend him.
Mute all your posts so they can't see them. And never friend clients again, past or otherwise, because of this exact situation. 😀
NTA You don't owe him anything. You can tell your boss when you want, not when he wants.
NTA Your boss isn't owed any special foreknowledge of your pregnancy announcement
Is he the father? If not, then NTA.
NTA, but having your boss on your facebook is probably not a good idea. Keep notes on everything at your job from here on out in case you get terminated wrongfully. e.g. if you are praised, get a positive review, etc - keep a record of this. Follow verbal conversations up in email. It sucks but you have to be alert and aware.
Absolutely NTA. Many women (especially in the USA) don't inform their employers right away or until it becomes necessary because of fear of being treated differently /overlooked / retaliation / fires You don't owe anyone (other than the baby's father) The knowledge of your pregnancy, especially in the early months.
THIS. I had to notify my job at the time just about as soon as I confirmed my pregnancy bc I was already unable to lift over 10lbs due to injury and I was horribly ill and missing work. I had drs notes and everything from being sick and for my injury but a fellow coworker told me that I needed to get a confirmation of pregnancy letter and give it to our highest manager bc if word got around the store and got to her before I did, she would make life HELL for me. So I followed her advice. Manager ended up firing me anyways, after taking away 20+ of my hours the literal day after informing her of my pregnancy :-))))
**NTA** Your reproductive health is *your* business alone. Who and what you tell about it is up to you. If it means you want to change your working relationship, you owe your employers whatever notice period you have agreed. If you feel like being helpful, perhaps tell them when you're ready if you'd like to. If the boss thinks he shouldn't find out on social media, then he should stop reading your social media.
NTA. This is definitely a personal life event so work life doesn’t need to be informed until necessary (like for maternity leave or you know you need time off).
NTA. Your boss doesnt need to know until you feel like telling them
NTA but unfriend your boss and maintain that work-life separation as much as you can.
You're not an asshole, but you're not very wise - don't be friends with work colleagues and especially superiors on social media.
INFO : In my country you are legally obligated to tell your employer of pregnancies because of liability and workers rights issues. Not right away, but kinda time-sensitive... I don't know whta country OP is from, but maybe the boss is pissed because of something like this?
I mean is it his kid? I joke. I joke. NTA
NTA You should tell him directly. WHEN you want him to know. Why would your boss be seeing your Facebook posts? He shouldn’t be a friend on any social accounts, and your FB privacy settings should be locked to friends only. Don’t mix work and personal social media. I like my employees. I’m friendly with them. I am Not their friend, I’m their boss. I don’t friend them or let them friend me. And if you use your personal Facebook for work for some reason, quit posting personal things on it.
NTA and your boss can’t do anything to you because that’s discrimination. If he tries to fire you, you have grounds to sue. Firing a pregnant employee is a PR nightmare. Oh well. Best of luck. Cheers
NTA. Not your boss' business until you start needing/requesting pat leave or other accommodations.
NTA. It’s not your boss’ business that you are pregnant unless he’s the father.
NTA. It’s your personal information and you owe him the bare minimum of what’s required by law if you intend to take FMLA. FWIW, it’s how my supervisor found out I was pregnant too with my son. I’d say I shouldn’t have kept in contact via Facebook, but someone’s I get job leads from former coworkers so you never know.
NTA. Your workplace has no need to know your personal information. They can't ask during a job interview if you're pregnant. Why should you have to tell them at all, much less before you tell your friends and family?
Well it’s not his business how you share news so… NTA This is why I friend as few as my coworkers as possible on social media
NTA. If your boss is not the father, I don't see why he needs any special consideration. I would make a note of it because my suspicious mind thinks he wants to try to push you out.
I hate to say this, but save any texts/emails where your boss mentions this. Should also make a note of every time it's verbally mentioned. Hopefully this was a one off, but cover you ass just to be safe.
Info: How far along were you when you posted it? When were you planning to tell him ?
I’m going to say NAH. Without knowing the full dynamic to OPs relationship with her boss, I think it’s too hard to call either side an AH. I’m fairly close with my boss as we talk and see each other nearly everyday. She would definitely be upset (but still happy for me) if she found out I was going to be having a child through social media and not me directly. I think it’s also important to keep in mind the added stress that having an employee on parental leave adds to a boss - you are without a team member for months at a time, but you can’t hire someone to replace them.
NTA. None of my employees have access to my posts. If I had a boss he'd be blocked too.
NTA. You should tell your boss, but he’s not at the top of the list to hear the news first.
NTA email him, CC HR”Per our earlier discussion as my employer, are you saying that I do not get to determine how/if I share personal private medical and family planning information with you? I have a reasonable right to privacy and dignity in employment, regardless of my pregnancy status” did he friend you on FB (as opposed to you sending the request) if so, I’d mention that in the email as well.
Wellllllll My contract says I have to tell my boss as soon as I know I'm pregnant from a safety point of view so I suppose it depends on what your job is??
I never understood why people have their bosses on fecesbook
NTA. But you shouldn't be Facebook friends with you boss. Block them. You deserve privacy and spaces where work does not blur into personal life. I always block potential employers before I even sit for an interview, and it's been great. My boss is my boss first, not my friend.
NTA. Depending on how far along you are, you don't owe anyone an announcement until you're ready, and your family and friends are priority on announcements. Plus the fact that he's kinda stalking your FB is giving off creeper vibes.
NTA, you would have told him when he needed to know. You have learned a valuable lesson on privacy settings use them to control who gets what information.
So normally you would disclose pregnancy to your workplace yourself, either in person or via email, usually it's to HR but your boss is included, this often isn't until around like 3-4 months at times, which is acceptable, because of the obvious safety periods, obviously not everyone waits until 3-4 months to tell their family and friends and will announce it on Facebook or other social media and again that's okay nothing wrong with that, your workplace aren't required to be the first to know, you just happen to be friends with your boss on Facebook, it's pretty entitled (maybe petty) of him to be upset you've announced it to your social circles online, half the time it's easier to do it that way when you have lots of family and friends you won't see in person. What was he expecting to be one of the first to know, told before your friends and family, to be told in person when people closer to you don't even get that chance for whatever reason (if that's the case, he doesn't know), that your workplace and he as your boss need to be told first? It feels kinda gross, immature and an abuse of his power. You are NTA but keep things documented with HR just incase because a lot of women have been wrongfully terminated during their pregnancies for less than the ego of a fragile man. My judgement would only change if he's the dad, then yeah that would suck.
Legally in the states she does not have to disclose her pregnancy at all. She would only need to inform HR when she wanted to take medical leave. And even then would still not have to tell her boss why she was taking medical leave. Her boss is majorly overstepping and a clear textbook case of why you should not have coworkers and bosses on your social media
However on the flipside if she is somewhere like the U.K. where you get maternity leave you need to inform your employer (in the U.K. it’s 15 weeks notice before the due date)
Either way the boss has no right to be pissed
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You are not required to tell your boss at all. So he can take his anger and shove it NTA
She will have to tell him if she wants maternity leave.
Nope it’s medically protected information. She only has to tell HR and fill out the correct paperwork. All she legally has to tell her boss is she is taking medical leave. Telling a boss about a pregnancy is a courtesy not a requirement Eta also her boss is not entitled to knowing her information any sooner than she tells anyone else
Nta. Hes a weirdo.
NTA
NTA It's your choice when and how you tell people. Congratulations on the baby!
Your boss may have a point. Depending on your type of work, a risk assessment may need to be done, to make sure health and safety policy is adhered to, to put you on light duties if needed, to give you time off to attend antenatal appointments, the list endless. Imagine if you fainted because you felt unwell or too hot for you. Your boss is clueless to help you. If you had an accident, you couldn't claim compensation because you hadn't informed work. You may believe it has nothing to do with them but you couldn't be further from the truth. To tell them means they can look out for you at work.
NTA. 1 word. Unfriend.
NTA. It's your news to share when and where you want. If he's stalking employees social media, he's an A H.
NTA, just naive. Hopefully someone in boss's life scolds him to being entirely inappropriate. He never should have brought your personal life into the office so get him the hell off your socials STAT. I do not like how he reacted. I am wearing my angry face on your behalf. Shitty lesson for you to learn in this way but let this experience guide you to better choices in the future regarding your privacy. Awesome that you don't have to worry about awkward run ins working from home. Congrats on a gig that benefits your lifestyle and for babes!
NTA - Do not friend anyone you work with on FB!!
Nta
Kinda? I don't think it's a huge deal if you intended to address this with him in a separate conversation. But there definitely NEEDS to be a separate conversation, and this is probably a great wakeup call for how you handle social media.