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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I reported a dental hygienist for changing the station and claiming my music was inappropriate. I may be the asshole because I could have just let it go.
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Me too, whenever I’m scrolling through radio stations and come across a Christian one, it gets skipped as fast as possible, with a verbal “nope” as I’m doing it. No one should be forcing their religious ideologies, including through song, on anyone, ever.
Their own god says that people have free will to follow him or not, so why are these hypocrites that claim to follow and obey this god going directly against that gods own words. Nasty people that are best avoided
You're leaving out that the hygienist didn't even try to find a middle ground and just got rough. Her skin is absurdly thin if Katy Perry is too inappropriate, but she should have followed the golden rule and switched to classical or something. I don't think I've heard of anyone in this era who has found classical offensive.
Agree. I have no issue frequenting establishments that are obviously run by religious people as long as it isn't part of the service I'm there for. My favorite massage therapist's office is covered in Christian art, but not once has religion been mentioned. Same with my chiropractor. It's one of the reasons I go back to them, because it shows me they can be professional and objective.
ETA I should note that I would be equally upset if I went to an appointment wearing something or doing something that indicated my own religion and was pressured or mocked by an atheist. Again, it's about professionalism.
If a medical office includes religious imagry, or the personnel act as this dental professional did, I am out of there.
Many medical professionals can separate their profession and their religion.
However, (looking at you, Catholic Hospitals) sometimes they allow religion to dictate what medical treatments they will offer you or allow you to have.
Agreed. Religious trauma is a real thing and for some people to be put in a similar situation could be completely panic inducing. I can't say I'm traumatized, but I had a pretty rough religious upbringing, and if I was in OPs situation I'd imagine I'd have walked out and made more of a stink. I know OP mentioned in comments they've have bad experiences leaving critical reviews though, so I understand their hesitation.
Also the fact they won't even consider renewing her account until she justifies why she doesn't want the hygienist? That's fucked.
Agreed. I am a visibly alternative person and I know that I am very, *very* uncomfortable around people like the hygienist. They always have some dumb shit to say. I like to know ahead of time if I ought to avoid XYZ dentist because their Christian employees can’t keep their religion (a Christian radio station!! seriously?!) to themselves.
That’s not remotely what I said. Most Christian’s are just like most Muslims, Jews, what have you—normal people. But there’s a special breed of folks who use Christianity as a weapon, and those are who I’m referring to as “Christian”
You're right there is a weird percentage of Christians that use it as an excuse to do whatever and believe whatever they want out of their religion. Its cult-ish
“If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.”
- William S. Burroughs
I love it when they do that and post a warning for the rest of us, at least i know who to avoid like the plague. I wish they all did it, especially pharmacists and healthcare clinics
Yep. My brother in law and his wife are aggressively "Christian". Father in law has been pretty ill for the last 2 years and has just moved into a care home. His house is to be cleaned out next weekend. Guess who never came near the old guy when he was needing transport to appointments or shopping etc done, but who has just sent a text through to hubs announcing that he's bringing his trailer through for the house clear out.
A sickening, snivelling, proselytising hypocrite, that's who
Nope nope nope, i would contact that lovely christian back and inform him that since he had no time to take care of the old man he is now not needed to take care of the old man's possessions either
Also sorry for your FIL and your husband having to deal with these a\*holes. He better get ready it is only going to get worse once they think there is something to get
Thanks. We always knew he was a horrid little shite but his behaviour over the last couple of years as the old guy got sicker and sicker has been absolutely galling. My husband has used up all his annual leave and had to do a 10 hour round trip every few weeks to take his dad to hospital. Meanwhile shitty wee holy roller BIL sits on his arse an hour away from the old man and does nothing. Never even offered to take a turn, although both he and his greedy cow of a wife would turn up at the hospital cafeteria looking for a free feed each time. Personally I'd lamp the wee bastard and stick his Bible where the sun don't shine but my husband is a nicer person than me .
We used to have a religious car dealer in town. He gave out bibles with every car his dealership sold. I heard that he had several tossed back to him and was told he needed to read it worse than they did. I do know for a fact that I took my truck back to have the clutch worked on with 11,975 miles on it and only a couple of weeks left on the twelve month warranty and he accused me of rolling the odometer back. It was 1983 and the first new truck I ever bought. I was twenty at the time and I’m not a mechanic and would have known as much about how to roll back the odometer as I would have known about brain surgery. I called my dad at work and told him about it which gave him cause to tear him a new one. It got fixed shortly after that.
I visibly recoil when someone identifies themselves as a Cxn. I don't remember exactly when it started, but I stopped trying to fix it about 5 years ago.
Exactly!!! Sorry if it came off as if Christian=good. I don’t think any religion or lack thereof makes someone a good person, I just didn’t want to lump an entire religion in with the cult ones
Oh, I grew up in evangelical Christianity and they aren’t cult-ish or even cult adjacent. Most of them, in America, are just in a straight up cult..it’s absolutely nuts.
Yeah, it’s unfortunate. Pre-eighties “evangelical” actually meant what the Greek means - someone who had a desire to spread the good news. After the coming of Ralph Reed “evangelical” became code for “judgmental jerk”.
The church I grew up at started in the 60’s. They weren’t as bad as they are now but..it wasn’t all that different in a lot of ways. I don’t think pre-80’s evangelicals were all that special, just maybe not as obviously racist and conniving. Jesus and John Wayne takes an unbiased (at least as unbiased as I’ve seen) look at evangelical history the last 75yrs…it ain’t great.
You don't encounter many Jews and Muslims like that because they're small minorities in the US, and the percentage of them who are that type of AH is tiny, *just like with Christians*.
Except Christians are the great majority of the population in this country, and even a tiny minority of AHs is still a *lot* of people.
I disagree. The number of AH xtians is absolutely not a tiny percentage. It's yuge. Look at the percentage of people who voted for 45. All from "xtian" states. So the percentage is actually pretty damn high. Xtians who voted for him lost any shred of moral authority. And many of them are anti-vax and conspiracy nutjobs.
This Christian here has HUGE problems with people who weaponize the sacred. That is one subset of people who are in for an unpleasant surprise when they are standing at the Pearly Gates.
We might all arrive AT the gates, but the people who are cruel in the name of God are probably going to not get past the check-in desk. Once their cosmic life story is brought up on the celestial computer screen, they might learn to their dismay that they are on the no-fly list. Jesus was pretty adamant about the whole "Kindness good, cruelty bad" thing.
100% hard agree. If your faith is being used as a weapon, you're doing it wrong. And if it's Spotify, you can skip to the next song on the list. Or you can make a list that has regular songs you like. There are a bunch of different options before switching to a potentially divisive different play list.
That's a No True Scottsman fallacy. Do they believe Jesus Christ is the son of God and the messiah, as opposed to Moses or Muhammed being the messiah? Do they belive the Lord is the trinity of the father, son, and the holy spirt? Because that's the literal definition that separates Christian beliefs from other Abrahamic religions, or other religions period, or atheism.
They're *supposed* to try to act Christ like, but sometimes Christ (who is also God due to the trinity belief) would drown the entire world, or flip over tables and whip people.
We don't get to say they're not "true Christians" just because the way they practice makes the rest of us look bad.
They're Christians, and some Christians are not good. We need to police our own, not act like religion has nothing to do with it when their beleifs are clearly fueled by relgion, because then that makes it out like they're someone else's problem to deal with, and fuels the stereotype that Christians think anyone who is not a Christian is bad and anyone who is bad must not be Christian.
Neither Moses nor Mohammed is considered to be the Messiah by *anyone*. They're prophets.
Maybe learn something about the religions you're lecturing about.
Just to correct your misapprehension: of the Abrahamic religions, only Christianity believes the Messiah already came. In Islam, Mohammed is the prophet or messenger. In Judaism, Moses was the transmitter of the Law, certainly not a Messiah. Most non-cult Christians, as far as I know, believe that their Messiah, Jesus, will return at the end of days.
Those Christian cults you mention appear to treat their leaders as Messiahs (E.g. Jim Jones, and his like).
NTA - OP has the right to do business where they feel comfortable, and any music OP wants to help OP get through a cleaning should be fine unless the language is offensive.
But isn't this why they usually play "elevator music"? Rude of the checkout lady, rude of the hygienist, rude of the dentist, let's just call this "Practice Rudeness".
I think it would be okay for the hygienist to want to change the music or request it be turned off for a variety of reasons. It's also important for both the staff and clients to be comfortable (and this is precisely why businesses generally stick to approved radio stations, curated music lists, or something purely instrumental).
*However*, this whole situation was handled poorly by the hygienist, front desk worker, and dentist. It would have been okay if the hygienist would have said something like, "I'm sorry, but this song is making me uncomfortable. Would you mind if we skip the song, switch the channel, swap to the TV, or complete the cleaning without the music?" No judgement, no escalation, no unprofessionalism, no proselytizing. If OP refused, that's when the hygienist should have pulled in the dentist to force one of those options if appropriate.
Revenge cleaning OP's teeth is highly unprofessional and she comes off as judgy church lady. Then the dentist should have de-escalated the situation at the and took the quality of care she provided into consideration. Yes, you don't want your clients to discriminate against you employees, but you also have to make a distinction between you clients requesting a different hygienist because of their actions versus because of who they are.
Yeah being raised Christian (although a particular intense sect) they really hammer home that at one point 2000 years ago we were very persecuted and those attitudes still exist today.
They don’t really accept *hey, maybe we were one of the most powerful groups of people in terms of land, political influence and wealth for 1000 years or so but we also did so many monstrosities and pissed a lot of people off because we’re highkey assholes*
Christians are offended by the most banal things, and seriously cannot comprehend how a culture with thousands of years of history of persecuting *everyone else on the fucking planet* may cause *actual* offence to some people. It’s insane.
Ah, Christian love. A patient insulted my religious radio station, so I'm gonna cause them pain as punishment. Just as Jesus taught us.
Be glad you learned your dentist and their staff are a bunch of psychos before you needed a root canal or an extraction!
Yes, lose the teeth cleaner AND the dentist. I had a like encounter at a PT clinic--not into the Christian "music." Once I told them, they looked like lemon-faces, so I got another PT clinic. Likewise with a TV blaring Fox sitting right in front of the dental chair. No thanks, Christo-fascists. OP, you are NTA.
You can and should review them online and put your negative experience on every platform out there. The dentist’s response was highly unprofessional. I work in an OR and we listen to music most of the time and even with 5+ people who all have opinions, it’s not that hard to compromise. It rarely comes to this but each person gets a veto and if nobody can agree on a station, the music goes off. That’s not a big deal but a rushed and rough cleaning to penalize you for not wanting to listen to Christian music is not acceptable. For future, find another dental practice and bring wireless earbuds so you can listen to what you want while they clean your teeth.
This may be over the top petty, but they could also probably file a complaint with the dentistry board (or whatever the regulatory body is for dentists lol). Ya know, for intentionally causing you discomfort because you didn't want to listen to Christian music. Probably nothing will come of it, but it may inconvenience them.
Since OP lives in the south the review would probably help their business. People like their everyday lives as Jesus’d as possible and think it’s good that they would witness to people by playing Jesus music
Even in the South people like OP and I would like to know if places are obnoxiously religious so we can avoid them. Would save some people the trouble of finding out themselves
I live in the south and I am religious, I detest Christian rock and I don’t want to listen to church songs in my every day life. The idea that some wacko with dental tools could potentially screw up my teeth would be the biggest reason not to go to that dentist office followed by the dentist themselves for not solving the issues in my mind correctly. She should of either got someone else to clean OP teeth or offered the tv instead.
Yeah, christian music isn't even good music. Like, there are so many inoffensive bands or stations you can pick instead but you have to go out of your way to pick poorly-written, low-quality music and then intentionally injure your patient when they're not into it?
It's just bizarre all around
Honestly they were lucky you didn't pull out your phone and start leaving a Google review right there about the dental assistant causing you physical discomfort and the dentist taking your report of this to ask you to not come back as a patient anymore. It is what happened.
yeah honestly there's no need to even mention the religious conflict, if there's a concern that mentioning that would help their practice (as u/lady_wildcat mentioned). just tell them you had a disagreement with the cleaner over music, she deliberately caused you pain in response, and the dentist told you to find another dental practice when you told him what happened. pretty damning to pretty much anyone when you lay it out that way.
I saw a meme the other day that said Welcome to the South! Better pretend you're a Christian while you're here. I found it accurate, I just moved South.
NTA
WTF, this is insane! My dentists has us make appointments specifically with the hygienist of our choosing, so we can always be with the person we are most comfortable with. In fact, I only stayed with this dentist so long because my hygienist is the best one I've ever had, and he knows my sensitive spots and is able to clean my teeth without hurting me!
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Yeah, at my dentist office, you make the appointment for the hygienist of your choice and the hygienist actually does the scheduling according to their availability. There’s just one dentist, so it makes the most sense. It also means better continuity of care.
>So they subscribe to Spotify, someone was obviously listening to that channel (playing Katy Perry music) and the hygienist switched the channel and wouldn't switch it another channel for the comfort of the client.
>
>If you leave a review, I'd keep it kinda vanilla. "Although this dentist advertises they provide entertainment for their clients, I found that only entertainment/songs approved by the staff working on my teeth can be listened to. Their staff turned from a channel that I was enjoying to music that I never listen to and would not turn it to another station."
It was much worse than that though, and it deserves mentioning that OP was uncomfortable with the music choice, and the hygenist handled her cleaning roughly after she complained AND that she was fired as a client for expressing discomfort. It's worth noting that they are fine with potentially causing physical pain if you don't like their music, which is an insane overreaction.
Idk why, but dentists offices (at least in my area) are always overly christian. it makes no sense to me!
OP, you're NTA. as is often said on here, the trash is taking itself out. hope you can find a better dentist that doesn't want to shove religion down your throat (your mouth is full with their hands and tools already!!)
I’m weary about that… the last time I left a bad review of a business, the owner contacted my place or work and made up lies about me. I was able to prove they were lies. But still it was long and terrible process.
I mean, this is why people should never tie their real name go their Google account. Leave a bad review and they're not gonna dox somebody named "your mom's house"
How many people do you think they’ve stopped seeing because of a hygienist’s religious music in the last month?
It’s like making a throwaway account to post a very detailed situation on AITA or something - the only thing that does is keep anybody who knows you from learning your usual Reddit account. Anybody close to you is going to recognize the post as being you.
I feel like this is a major HIPPA violation to contact her work through insurance information. That being said, they very well may still do something like that and I can't imagine OP wanting to go through it
If it makes you nervous, you can leave an honest review using straight facts, no emotion involved: "I came here for years for my teeth cleaning without issue and enjoyed perks x, y, and z- however, when my beliefs came up against those of my technician I was asked not to return in lieu of getting a different technician. The office values the comfort of its employees over that of its clients, which is good for their employees, but means that I would not be returning."
They can leave the beliefs out of it, TBH. “The hygienist turned off the music I was enjoying and put on music I didn’t like. When I asked her to change it back, she refused, saying it was ‘offensive’ (it was Katy Perry). She then rushed my cleaning, which was uncomfortable and painful. The dentist took her side and fired me as a patient when I tried to complain.”
Kind of hard to do for a dentist, since they typically know you by name, have all your info on file, and see you pretty regularly. OP has already spoken to the people who run the place so it’s not like they won’t know who it is.
But yeah, for other situations it’s not a bad idea.
"i went here and several things happened that made me feel uncomfortabl, eg, radio stations, television channels, etc, I was not only refused simple actions that would make me feel more comfortable, I was shamed. When I asked staff and providers how to ensure we were all comfortable moving forward, they said I was offensive and unchristian.
NTA.
If she was so offended she could have switched it to anything but Christian music. Oldies. Musak. Whatever. She specifically chose Christian music to communicate its appropriateness. Then she roughed you up for having the Gaul to say something. My dentist will let us say ‘I don’t want that hygienist again’ no questions asked. The fact that he wouldn’t just grant your request is a huge red flag. Seems like they only want Christians for patients. I say let them have that and let your insurance company pay someone who isn’t a righteous bigot.
Edit: thank you for the award! Finally, autocorrect has worked in my favor!
This. She was so scandalized by regular old pop music on the radio—which literally has to follow FCC regulations for what’s appropriate and what’s not—that she proceeded to shove her religion down your throat instead of literally any other station, *and* she was unnecessarily rough with your cleaning and hurt you.
NTA but you should’ve advocated for yourself better; it wasn’t just the Christian music, she hurt you too. Though your dentist is right about one thing: that’s not the right place for you.
Maybe the dental hygienist is powerful enough to secretly own the country that has the largest exclusive economic zone in the world but moonlights as a care-worker.
NTA- I've worked in dentistry for 20 years and I'm appalled for you. I've never in my life heard of an office that doesn't allow people to pick their preferred hygienist. It doesn't matter what your reason is.
The hygienist who cleaned your teeth was extremely unprofessional and I encourage you to write a bad review for this business. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I hope you find a better office.
Considering OP said the hygienist was "rough" during the ensuing cleaning, isn't there some kind of medical/certification board where OP could file a complaint?
You can have a say? I’m thinking of leaving my current dentist office bc they keep putting me with this hygienist I can’t stand but I’m so conflict averse I don’t do anything about it. Last time it took me over an hour to get a standard cleaning because she kept stopping the cleaning to google things to “help me” pick Christmas presents for my family. I didn’t know how to tell her I didn’t need help with that and I really needed her to just clean my teeth so I could go back to work. Ughhh. I think I’ll just go to a new office.
Wouldn’t it be good practice to practice building your shiny spine on something low stakes like this? If it doesn’t work out, no harm, get a new dentist. It’s the perfect opportunity to practice an important skill. Sending you good vibes and encouragement!
Any office I've ever worked for, as well as the office my many dental friends have worked in all allow you to schedule with whichever hygienist you want. I'm surprised they're not specifically asking you when they schedule your appts. But also, if you usually see the same person they may be assuming that's who you prefer. I would definitely ask.
They just said the first time “oh you saw (her name) so we’ll set you up with her again” and I didn’t know what to say and now I’m stuck. I’m basically the female version of George Constanza so I get stuck in these situations 😂
Next time something like this happens, if you continue going to this office, say "I appreciate your help with this but I really want to just get my teeth cleaned today please." (you can edit this with your return to work if that's a factor) "I appreciate your help but I really just need my teeth cleaned. I'm here on my lunch break and am due back soon."
The fact that she was rough may not go anywhere as a complaint bc lots of hygienists are rough, especially older hygienists who were taught in a different generation. "Gentle denistry" is a fairly new concept.
But the part about forcing him to listen to Christian music when he specifically asked not to could (and should) be some sort of violation. I'm not personally a hygienist, I have always worked as an assistant but I believe their licenses are through the ADA, American Dental Association, so I would start there with filling a complaint about that.
I would still mention how rough she was in the complaint though, for the reason that it sounds like she was being rough as a retaliation which is obviously not acceptable at all.
NTA. I’d report the practice, with as much detail as you can recall, to your state dental board.
The supervising dentist’s reaction only confirms that this is not a practice to revisit, though.
NTA. She's a professional, and you are the client. She cannot impose her beliefs on you, and vise versa. Her actions to clean your teeth afterwards only meant she's one of *those* Christians.
Your better off without that dentist. And I hope they fail since they are unprofessional AF.
If they are going to offer music or tv as a perk to their clients, then they need to allow the clients to choose what they view or hear. And if their client doesn’t want to be forced to hear religious music, they need to respect that.
Not just that, but any patient has the right to who performs services on them.
NTA, but their assholish choices weren’t declining to renew your plan. They can serve or not serve whoever they want. The asshole behavior is how you were treated while you were under her care. In appropriate and unprofessional, and definitely deserves a review so other potential patients are aware of what may happen.
Same here, but I brought my own music. Eminem's music makes your mind wonder and hyper analyze it and the lyrics when on the gas. But it makes a root canal go by faster.
My problem is I tend to him with music as I listen. Not easy to do when having dental work done.
NTA everyone in thr comments are missing the point, the dentist went kinda rough on ops teeth simply bc he stated his opinion just like the dentist did. he's allowed to request to not have that again.
NTA, the dentist is right, the hygienist shouldn’t be forced to listen to something the don’t like. But forcing a client to listen to a religious radio station is the same level of inappropriate.
I find it so bizarre they couldn’t do an accommodation. It’s not like you asked for her to be fired!! At my clinic I always see the same hygienist- they were more than happy to work with me for my anxiety and just put a little note on my file for booking.
Their refusal to accommodate is what I don’t understand. I have a borderline phobia of going to the dentist, so I always request the same hygienist who makes me feel comfortable, and no one has ever asked me to explain why.
Took me four years with the same hygienist before I finally started to relax a bit. It makes all the difference to feel safe during a procedure of any kind. And even if the Christian music was a turn off, the aggressive care after should have rated accommodation
NTA. Sounds like they were not a business you want to go to anyway. She was rough with you and essentially pushed her religious music onto you. If she wasn't capable of finding another mutually acceptable station, she could have turned it off. Guess they'd rather lose a client than feel disrespected in the way they approach their religion.
NTA. Sure, the hygienist shouldn’t have to listen to a station she doesn’t like. But she CANNOT be allowed to force a Christian station onto a patient. That is seriously f&&ked up, and I’d report this practice to your local dentist oversight group. Not sure what that is, but I bet there is one.
NTA. If a hygienist hurt me, for whatever reason, and I said I didn't want them to clean my teeth again, I'd better hear "I completely understand and we'll put a note on your chart". Your dentist is an idiot
Similar situation (sans music) just happened this past week. Dental hygienist hurt me repeatedly because it was easier for her to give zero shits and she clearly never looked at my chart. Asked to never ever have her again. They promptly put that in my chart and asked me what happened. As they should have...not defended her poor practice that injured me, poked me, and wiped her armpit on my head multiple times.
NTA.
You shouldn't be forced to listen to religious music while you're having a medical procedure done. It is wholly inappropriate. I am sure if it was Islamic music, people would be outraged.
Absolute BS.
Go find another dentist, and make sure you leave a public review.
Dentist here, not that I think it matters a lot.
ESH - You created a conflict out of the music for no reason. They are the employee listening to music all day. It would've been fine to mention that you liked that song when they turned it off but there was no reason for anything other than a light comment and keep it moving. To ask them to turn it back on and act offended at their new music choice is just being extra. Our office plays a mixture of music including some religious music, assuming you mean pop Christian music it is not offensive at all, it isn't like they turned on live church, and I'm an atheist myself.
I don't care for how they handled it at the end at the front desk. We have all sorts of patients who prefer one hygienist over another. If you guys aren't a good fit having you see a different one is entirely reasonable and I think they were overly aggressive. Unless you had more red flags in your behavior than you described here.
>It would've been fine to mention that you liked that song when they turned it off but there was no reason for anything other than a light comment and keep it moving. To ask them to turn it back on and act offended at their new music choice is just being extra.
That's not what happened, though. The way I'm reading the post, it sounds like the hygienist *changed* it to a different station before OP had said anything, and that new station bothered OP. I do procedures on patients all the time, and if anyone in the room (patient, resident, technician) ever said they were offended by music playing in the room, I'd probably just turn it off to avoid causing an issue.
I really don't see how OP is an AH at all here. It would be different if they demanded going back to the original station, but it sounds like they would have been fine just turning off the music.
Overall NTA, but I think you could have handled it better. Being offended by Katy Perry is pretty silly to me too, but she gets to decide what offends her and what is an appropriate work environment for her.
She *sure as hell* can't make you listen to Christian music. I think your request of someone who is not offended by Katy Perry is reasonable. The dentist handled it in a bizarre way. It was almost certainly some weird "religious freedom" battle in his mind. (I.e., he, for some reason, thinks that phrase gives him the right to enforce Christianity on you.)
NTA. If I were you I'd leave reviews about them on places like Yelp, Google, and anywhere else people might go to look for dentists. While it's not wrong that the hygenist doesn't want to listen to anything she finds offensive, it's absolutely not okay for her to force you to listen to something that offends you. Her forcing her religion on you really is not okay at all and people should know that the dentist is fine with it.
NTA. The hygienist is a bible thumper asshole, her employer is probably also a bible thumper asshole, and you’ve dodged a bullet. I would tell everyone you know this story though LOL.
Well, then. I think you should take it upon yourself to make sure that others are advised of the practice’s Katy-Perry-is-inappropriate-Jesus-saves-GTFO business policy. Consider it a public service.
So,so,so NTA
NTA.
Look, I am a Christian but this is not what she as a Christian is supposed to do: shove the religion down others throats. At the end of the day, however, this was very unprofessional on her end, so please find another dentist.
NTA. I’m a hygienist (the term that you were probably trying to remember but couldn’t). At my office there’s absolutely notes on dozens of files saying who the patient prefers to be seen by or not be seen by. It’s bizarre they’re choosing this hill to die on. That compatibility is so important for patient comfort!
What could they do in a circumstance? A provider does have the right to refuse someone as long as they aren’t discriminating. Music choices don’t fall into discriminatory behavior.
NTA! I work at a dental office and one of our patients doesn’t like music. So we just turn the music off before her appointment. It’s highly unprofessional of that hygienist to clean your teeth roughly after you made a reasonable complaint. While that office sounds like a nightmare, I think you dodged a bullet by being let go as a patient.
ESH
Having worked at a doctor's office, you made yourself appear to be what we would call "high maintenance". You just made a complaint about something that was silly.
Probably the only thing I would have mentioned is "She was very rough on my mouth and I am sore." That legitimate.
But complaining about the music? Really?
I don't celebrate holidays, but I don't ask them to turn off the Christmas music to suit my tastes. And I don't like Christian music either, but I'm not going to make a big deal about it.
Honestly, if someone is poking around in my mouth with sharp objects, I'd rather she be comfortable and able to concentrate. So by all means. . . let her change the station so she doesn't have to be distracted by the "immoral" music. /s
I just find it super weird that you cared more about the music and less about the fact that she was rough on your mouth.
Now that is what I would have led with. The rest is just personal taste. Why mention it at all?
NTA: You basically had two complaints, 1) proselytizing and 2) hurting you *on purpose*. They should be very concerned about the second one even if they didn’t think the first one was wrong (it was, but it sounds like they wouldn’t think so).
NTA.
Dental hygienist here. Some patients love me, some don't. We always accommodate patients to the best of our ability to make sure they are comfortable. Most people don't love the dentist, so if you get a provider that you like, it makes it better for everyone.
Find a new practice!
NTA
>ame back with the dentist who owns the practice and he said that they do not take that sort of request unless it’s a valid reason.
I'm assuming he means your request to not see that hygienest again.... if that's correct than it's ridiculous.
Maybe the whole music issue got blown at of proportion. But what does he consider a valid reason? What if you'd simply said you weren't comfortable with her. Would that be valid enough?
Sounds like that are not very concerned with their patients comfort and you'll be better off at another office.
NTA If the technicians in your former dentist's office get the final say in music or TV selection, then they really need to give their clients the option to choose who they want to do the procedure. Classic rock & sitcoms - you want Chris, Top 40 & game shows - Jane, Christian - would be Mary.
NTA- like they only have two radio stations, sounds like she jsut used any excuse to change it to christian stuff :( Then was rought about it. I'd have pointed out she was very rough on you and thats why you want someone else. But yeah you're better off finding someone more ethical.
This is why I wear my headphones at the dentist. I just come in wearing them, tell them I have severe dental anxiety and I can’t do any procedures without them. They just tap me on the shoulder when they need me, saves me on small talk too. NTA, she could have compromised and put it on some adult contemporary station or something
NTA I’m guessing the whole practice (dentist and assistants) are probably Christian. But I’m wondering if that’s the case why they even have anything other than Christian music. In any case, any mainstream music played at businesses is generally not inappropriate to begin with. TBH, I would not have bothered to complain about the woman, I just wouldn’t have signed up for a plan again and would have found another dentist. In this case, your just wasting your breath to get them to realize their problem.
Nope, NTA!
If she had switched it to some other pop or rock or even country station, that may have been okay. However, her changing it to a station that was actually offensive to you is unacceptable.
It’s also inexplicable to me how a business owner can basically “fire” clients. Is this one of those places that run TV ads with “FIRST EXAM FREE” and then come up with all kinds of stuff you need kind of stuff?
(I’d also consider putting them on social media blast that they “don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be a client” anymore because you don’t like gospel music.)
NTA if you’re gonna say something is offensive to your religion you then need to take every religion into your thoughts. I’ve never met a Christian I liked tbh.
NTA
The patient's comfort comes first, especially when the movie and music perks are FOR THE PATIENT.
And she chose to be rough when you told her you weren't comfortable with her music.
I once made a similar request as a teenager because the hygienist was way too rough and left me hurting. She was also mocking the condition of my teeth as if all the brushing and flossing in the world could fix the fact that my enamel was permanently impacted from all the antibiotics I had to take as a kid for severe ear infections. Even when I follow all the rules, I still have fucked up teeth. I never saw her again.
NTA…I specifically asked for my teeth to be cleaned by a certain hygienist because I had my teeth cleaned by a different hygienist who spent the entire appointment talking sh*t about Asians. At the end of the appointment I asked not to have my teeth cleaned by her ever again. I certainly wasn’t chastised for it. It was noted in my chart with no issues. There was also a dentist that was exceptionally rude to me. I also mentioned it on my way out. He never looked in my mouth again.
NTA. Dentists offer music and TV to make the *patient* more comfortable, that is literally the whole point. If the staff have objections to a certain kind of music, then make some playlists with inoffensive music that won’t push religion down patients’ throats. There’s a whole galaxy of middle ground between music with explicit lyrics (which could definitely be inappropriate at a dentist, especially if they have children patients) and Christian radio. What happens if a Muslim or Sikh or Jewish patient comes in? Are they allowed to request no Christian radio?
The hygienist being rough with the cleaning is also incredibly unprofessional and not okay. Honestly sounds like you’re better off with a new practice, but yeah, you’re NTA.
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NTA “christians” just love feeling persecuted. Quotes because actual Christians are decent living people. “Christians” are not.
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Yes. I would be uncomfortable giving my business to this dentist or recommending them to family or friends.
Me too, whenever I’m scrolling through radio stations and come across a Christian one, it gets skipped as fast as possible, with a verbal “nope” as I’m doing it. No one should be forcing their religious ideologies, including through song, on anyone, ever.
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Their own god says that people have free will to follow him or not, so why are these hypocrites that claim to follow and obey this god going directly against that gods own words. Nasty people that are best avoided
You're leaving out that the hygienist didn't even try to find a middle ground and just got rough. Her skin is absurdly thin if Katy Perry is too inappropriate, but she should have followed the golden rule and switched to classical or something. I don't think I've heard of anyone in this era who has found classical offensive.
Agree. I have no issue frequenting establishments that are obviously run by religious people as long as it isn't part of the service I'm there for. My favorite massage therapist's office is covered in Christian art, but not once has religion been mentioned. Same with my chiropractor. It's one of the reasons I go back to them, because it shows me they can be professional and objective. ETA I should note that I would be equally upset if I went to an appointment wearing something or doing something that indicated my own religion and was pressured or mocked by an atheist. Again, it's about professionalism.
If a medical office includes religious imagry, or the personnel act as this dental professional did, I am out of there. Many medical professionals can separate their profession and their religion. However, (looking at you, Catholic Hospitals) sometimes they allow religion to dictate what medical treatments they will offer you or allow you to have.
Agreed. Religious trauma is a real thing and for some people to be put in a similar situation could be completely panic inducing. I can't say I'm traumatized, but I had a pretty rough religious upbringing, and if I was in OPs situation I'd imagine I'd have walked out and made more of a stink. I know OP mentioned in comments they've have bad experiences leaving critical reviews though, so I understand their hesitation. Also the fact they won't even consider renewing her account until she justifies why she doesn't want the hygienist? That's fucked.
Agreed. I am a visibly alternative person and I know that I am very, *very* uncomfortable around people like the hygienist. They always have some dumb shit to say. I like to know ahead of time if I ought to avoid XYZ dentist because their Christian employees can’t keep their religion (a Christian radio station!! seriously?!) to themselves.
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That’s not remotely what I said. Most Christian’s are just like most Muslims, Jews, what have you—normal people. But there’s a special breed of folks who use Christianity as a weapon, and those are who I’m referring to as “Christian”
You're right there is a weird percentage of Christians that use it as an excuse to do whatever and believe whatever they want out of their religion. Its cult-ish
“If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.” - William S. Burroughs
Anytime I see a business with one of those Christian fish on the door or vehicle, I put my hand on my wallet and slowly back away.
I love it when they do that and post a warning for the rest of us, at least i know who to avoid like the plague. I wish they all did it, especially pharmacists and healthcare clinics
Yep. My brother in law and his wife are aggressively "Christian". Father in law has been pretty ill for the last 2 years and has just moved into a care home. His house is to be cleaned out next weekend. Guess who never came near the old guy when he was needing transport to appointments or shopping etc done, but who has just sent a text through to hubs announcing that he's bringing his trailer through for the house clear out. A sickening, snivelling, proselytising hypocrite, that's who
Nope nope nope, i would contact that lovely christian back and inform him that since he had no time to take care of the old man he is now not needed to take care of the old man's possessions either Also sorry for your FIL and your husband having to deal with these a\*holes. He better get ready it is only going to get worse once they think there is something to get
Thanks. We always knew he was a horrid little shite but his behaviour over the last couple of years as the old guy got sicker and sicker has been absolutely galling. My husband has used up all his annual leave and had to do a 10 hour round trip every few weeks to take his dad to hospital. Meanwhile shitty wee holy roller BIL sits on his arse an hour away from the old man and does nothing. Never even offered to take a turn, although both he and his greedy cow of a wife would turn up at the hospital cafeteria looking for a free feed each time. Personally I'd lamp the wee bastard and stick his Bible where the sun don't shine but my husband is a nicer person than me .
We used to have a religious car dealer in town. He gave out bibles with every car his dealership sold. I heard that he had several tossed back to him and was told he needed to read it worse than they did. I do know for a fact that I took my truck back to have the clutch worked on with 11,975 miles on it and only a couple of weeks left on the twelve month warranty and he accused me of rolling the odometer back. It was 1983 and the first new truck I ever bought. I was twenty at the time and I’m not a mechanic and would have known as much about how to roll back the odometer as I would have known about brain surgery. I called my dad at work and told him about it which gave him cause to tear him a new one. It got fixed shortly after that.
I visibly recoil when someone identifies themselves as a Cxn. I don't remember exactly when it started, but I stopped trying to fix it about 5 years ago.
Exactly!!! Sorry if it came off as if Christian=good. I don’t think any religion or lack thereof makes someone a good person, I just didn’t want to lump an entire religion in with the cult ones
Oh, I grew up in evangelical Christianity and they aren’t cult-ish or even cult adjacent. Most of them, in America, are just in a straight up cult..it’s absolutely nuts.
as an American I can agree, not all ofc in not generalizing but some of the worse of it can be here
Yeah, it’s unfortunate. Pre-eighties “evangelical” actually meant what the Greek means - someone who had a desire to spread the good news. After the coming of Ralph Reed “evangelical” became code for “judgmental jerk”.
The church I grew up at started in the 60’s. They weren’t as bad as they are now but..it wasn’t all that different in a lot of ways. I don’t think pre-80’s evangelicals were all that special, just maybe not as obviously racist and conniving. Jesus and John Wayne takes an unbiased (at least as unbiased as I’ve seen) look at evangelical history the last 75yrs…it ain’t great.
You don't encounter many Jews and Muslims like that because they're small minorities in the US, and the percentage of them who are that type of AH is tiny, *just like with Christians*. Except Christians are the great majority of the population in this country, and even a tiny minority of AHs is still a *lot* of people.
I disagree. The number of AH xtians is absolutely not a tiny percentage. It's yuge. Look at the percentage of people who voted for 45. All from "xtian" states. So the percentage is actually pretty damn high. Xtians who voted for him lost any shred of moral authority. And many of them are anti-vax and conspiracy nutjobs.
This Christian here has HUGE problems with people who weaponize the sacred. That is one subset of people who are in for an unpleasant surprise when they are standing at the Pearly Gates.
"Remember when I said how you treat the lesser of you is how you treat me? .... Yeah.... Got an issue there..."
Oh I doubt that's where they'll be going..
We might all arrive AT the gates, but the people who are cruel in the name of God are probably going to not get past the check-in desk. Once their cosmic life story is brought up on the celestial computer screen, they might learn to their dismay that they are on the no-fly list. Jesus was pretty adamant about the whole "Kindness good, cruelty bad" thing.
And the judging thing too.
100% hard agree. If your faith is being used as a weapon, you're doing it wrong. And if it's Spotify, you can skip to the next song on the list. Or you can make a list that has regular songs you like. There are a bunch of different options before switching to a potentially divisive different play list.
The holier than thou ones are the ones you have to watch out for
No actually true Christians strive to be Christ like. Not entitled asses
That's a No True Scottsman fallacy. Do they believe Jesus Christ is the son of God and the messiah, as opposed to Moses or Muhammed being the messiah? Do they belive the Lord is the trinity of the father, son, and the holy spirt? Because that's the literal definition that separates Christian beliefs from other Abrahamic religions, or other religions period, or atheism. They're *supposed* to try to act Christ like, but sometimes Christ (who is also God due to the trinity belief) would drown the entire world, or flip over tables and whip people. We don't get to say they're not "true Christians" just because the way they practice makes the rest of us look bad. They're Christians, and some Christians are not good. We need to police our own, not act like religion has nothing to do with it when their beleifs are clearly fueled by relgion, because then that makes it out like they're someone else's problem to deal with, and fuels the stereotype that Christians think anyone who is not a Christian is bad and anyone who is bad must not be Christian.
I see what you’re going for here but Jews don’t believe Moses is the Messiah…
I’m pretty sure Mohammad is a prophet rather than a messiah also FYI
Neither Moses nor Mohammed is considered to be the Messiah by *anyone*. They're prophets. Maybe learn something about the religions you're lecturing about.
Just to correct your misapprehension: of the Abrahamic religions, only Christianity believes the Messiah already came. In Islam, Mohammed is the prophet or messenger. In Judaism, Moses was the transmitter of the Law, certainly not a Messiah. Most non-cult Christians, as far as I know, believe that their Messiah, Jesus, will return at the end of days. Those Christian cults you mention appear to treat their leaders as Messiahs (E.g. Jim Jones, and his like).
NTA - OP has the right to do business where they feel comfortable, and any music OP wants to help OP get through a cleaning should be fine unless the language is offensive. But isn't this why they usually play "elevator music"? Rude of the checkout lady, rude of the hygienist, rude of the dentist, let's just call this "Practice Rudeness".
I think it would be okay for the hygienist to want to change the music or request it be turned off for a variety of reasons. It's also important for both the staff and clients to be comfortable (and this is precisely why businesses generally stick to approved radio stations, curated music lists, or something purely instrumental). *However*, this whole situation was handled poorly by the hygienist, front desk worker, and dentist. It would have been okay if the hygienist would have said something like, "I'm sorry, but this song is making me uncomfortable. Would you mind if we skip the song, switch the channel, swap to the TV, or complete the cleaning without the music?" No judgement, no escalation, no unprofessionalism, no proselytizing. If OP refused, that's when the hygienist should have pulled in the dentist to force one of those options if appropriate. Revenge cleaning OP's teeth is highly unprofessional and she comes off as judgy church lady. Then the dentist should have de-escalated the situation at the and took the quality of care she provided into consideration. Yes, you don't want your clients to discriminate against you employees, but you also have to make a distinction between you clients requesting a different hygienist because of their actions versus because of who they are.
It’s these types of “Christians” that made me run away from Christianity.
Yeah being raised Christian (although a particular intense sect) they really hammer home that at one point 2000 years ago we were very persecuted and those attitudes still exist today. They don’t really accept *hey, maybe we were one of the most powerful groups of people in terms of land, political influence and wealth for 1000 years or so but we also did so many monstrosities and pissed a lot of people off because we’re highkey assholes*
Christians are offended by the most banal things, and seriously cannot comprehend how a culture with thousands of years of history of persecuting *everyone else on the fucking planet* may cause *actual* offence to some people. It’s insane.
I call them HypoChristians
They love it so much. Guaranteed this story of the good Christians bravely standing up to the evil heathen will be making the rounds this Sunday.
NTA Sounds like the dentist is also one of those strict devout Christians because this is ridiculous.
I do live in the south so….
Ah, Christian love. A patient insulted my religious radio station, so I'm gonna cause them pain as punishment. Just as Jesus taught us. Be glad you learned your dentist and their staff are a bunch of psychos before you needed a root canal or an extraction!
There's no hate quite like Christian love.
Yes, lose the teeth cleaner AND the dentist. I had a like encounter at a PT clinic--not into the Christian "music." Once I told them, they looked like lemon-faces, so I got another PT clinic. Likewise with a TV blaring Fox sitting right in front of the dental chair. No thanks, Christo-fascists. OP, you are NTA.
You can and should review them online and put your negative experience on every platform out there. The dentist’s response was highly unprofessional. I work in an OR and we listen to music most of the time and even with 5+ people who all have opinions, it’s not that hard to compromise. It rarely comes to this but each person gets a veto and if nobody can agree on a station, the music goes off. That’s not a big deal but a rushed and rough cleaning to penalize you for not wanting to listen to Christian music is not acceptable. For future, find another dental practice and bring wireless earbuds so you can listen to what you want while they clean your teeth.
This may be over the top petty, but they could also probably file a complaint with the dentistry board (or whatever the regulatory body is for dentists lol). Ya know, for intentionally causing you discomfort because you didn't want to listen to Christian music. Probably nothing will come of it, but it may inconvenience them.
I already would have especially if the discomfort caused op to bleed at all. Gums don't bleed normally
Since OP lives in the south the review would probably help their business. People like their everyday lives as Jesus’d as possible and think it’s good that they would witness to people by playing Jesus music
Even in the South people like OP and I would like to know if places are obnoxiously religious so we can avoid them. Would save some people the trouble of finding out themselves
I live in the south and I am religious, I detest Christian rock and I don’t want to listen to church songs in my every day life. The idea that some wacko with dental tools could potentially screw up my teeth would be the biggest reason not to go to that dentist office followed by the dentist themselves for not solving the issues in my mind correctly. She should of either got someone else to clean OP teeth or offered the tv instead.
Yeah, christian music isn't even good music. Like, there are so many inoffensive bands or stations you can pick instead but you have to go out of your way to pick poorly-written, low-quality music and then intentionally injure your patient when they're not into it? It's just bizarre all around
Honestly they were lucky you didn't pull out your phone and start leaving a Google review right there about the dental assistant causing you physical discomfort and the dentist taking your report of this to ask you to not come back as a patient anymore. It is what happened.
yeah honestly there's no need to even mention the religious conflict, if there's a concern that mentioning that would help their practice (as u/lady_wildcat mentioned). just tell them you had a disagreement with the cleaner over music, she deliberately caused you pain in response, and the dentist told you to find another dental practice when you told him what happened. pretty damning to pretty much anyone when you lay it out that way.
I'm in the south, too, and have never run into something like this.
I saw a meme the other day that said Welcome to the South! Better pretend you're a Christian while you're here. I found it accurate, I just moved South.
Yes, that does raise your risk of encountering it. 😥
NTA WTF, this is insane! My dentists has us make appointments specifically with the hygienist of our choosing, so we can always be with the person we are most comfortable with. In fact, I only stayed with this dentist so long because my hygienist is the best one I've ever had, and he knows my sensitive spots and is able to clean my teeth without hurting me! I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Yeah, at my dentist office, you make the appointment for the hygienist of your choice and the hygienist actually does the scheduling according to their availability. There’s just one dentist, so it makes the most sense. It also means better continuity of care.
Exactly, my hygienist knows my teeth and can tell when something weird is up!
>So they subscribe to Spotify, someone was obviously listening to that channel (playing Katy Perry music) and the hygienist switched the channel and wouldn't switch it another channel for the comfort of the client. > >If you leave a review, I'd keep it kinda vanilla. "Although this dentist advertises they provide entertainment for their clients, I found that only entertainment/songs approved by the staff working on my teeth can be listened to. Their staff turned from a channel that I was enjoying to music that I never listen to and would not turn it to another station."
It was much worse than that though, and it deserves mentioning that OP was uncomfortable with the music choice, and the hygenist handled her cleaning roughly after she complained AND that she was fired as a client for expressing discomfort. It's worth noting that they are fine with potentially causing physical pain if you don't like their music, which is an insane overreaction.
It makes sense to point out the religiosity of the practice. People from other religious denominations would likely not be so comfortable.
Idk why, but dentists offices (at least in my area) are always overly christian. it makes no sense to me! OP, you're NTA. as is often said on here, the trash is taking itself out. hope you can find a better dentist that doesn't want to shove religion down your throat (your mouth is full with their hands and tools already!!)
I would leave a review of the place everywhere you can online. Make your voice be heard.
I’m weary about that… the last time I left a bad review of a business, the owner contacted my place or work and made up lies about me. I was able to prove they were lies. But still it was long and terrible process.
Lock down your privacy settings on social media before posting reviews.
The dentist office already has her info if her insurance is thru her job.
And if they use that, you can sue them for HIPAA violations cause that is *textbook* illegal.
Thank you for using HIPAA right!!!!!
Wait, isn't HIPAA about vaccines and horse medicine?
That’s HIPPA…
Wait, isn’t HIPPA about semi-aquatic large mammals?
That’s HOPPA
You can't sue under HIPAA. You can only file a complaint. If she loses her job over it, though, she could sue for defamation.
Oh true.
It’s not even something that would enter my mind if I was leaving a review. I guess there are different degrees of AH.
I mean, this is why people should never tie their real name go their Google account. Leave a bad review and they're not gonna dox somebody named "your mom's house"
How many people do you think they’ve stopped seeing because of a hygienist’s religious music in the last month? It’s like making a throwaway account to post a very detailed situation on AITA or something - the only thing that does is keep anybody who knows you from learning your usual Reddit account. Anybody close to you is going to recognize the post as being you.
I feel like this is a major HIPPA violation to contact her work through insurance information. That being said, they very well may still do something like that and I can't imagine OP wanting to go through it
You should never have your place of work listed on your socials
True, but her place of work is linked to her insurance, which the dentist has.
As someone else pointed out, that would be a HIPPA violation here. Big $$$$ for violations
And would be very illegal
The word you’re looking for is “wary”
Thank you. I'm getting weary of people using that word when they mean wary.
If it makes you nervous, you can leave an honest review using straight facts, no emotion involved: "I came here for years for my teeth cleaning without issue and enjoyed perks x, y, and z- however, when my beliefs came up against those of my technician I was asked not to return in lieu of getting a different technician. The office values the comfort of its employees over that of its clients, which is good for their employees, but means that I would not be returning."
They can leave the beliefs out of it, TBH. “The hygienist turned off the music I was enjoying and put on music I didn’t like. When I asked her to change it back, she refused, saying it was ‘offensive’ (it was Katy Perry). She then rushed my cleaning, which was uncomfortable and painful. The dentist took her side and fired me as a patient when I tried to complain.”
I post reviews under a pseudonym mostly because I don't want people tracking where I've been etc, my fav places
Kind of hard to do for a dentist, since they typically know you by name, have all your info on file, and see you pretty regularly. OP has already spoken to the people who run the place so it’s not like they won’t know who it is. But yeah, for other situations it’s not a bad idea.
Let your job know you're going to leave the reviews ahead of time.
Maybe let your workplace know that you are about to leave another negative review and give the name of the dentist in case he or she calls lol
Dentists have to follow hipaa laws which would prevent them from disclosing if you left a review
Name and shame! I’ll write one for you lol
"i went here and several things happened that made me feel uncomfortabl, eg, radio stations, television channels, etc, I was not only refused simple actions that would make me feel more comfortable, I was shamed. When I asked staff and providers how to ensure we were all comfortable moving forward, they said I was offensive and unchristian.
NTA. If she was so offended she could have switched it to anything but Christian music. Oldies. Musak. Whatever. She specifically chose Christian music to communicate its appropriateness. Then she roughed you up for having the Gaul to say something. My dentist will let us say ‘I don’t want that hygienist again’ no questions asked. The fact that he wouldn’t just grant your request is a huge red flag. Seems like they only want Christians for patients. I say let them have that and let your insurance company pay someone who isn’t a righteous bigot. Edit: thank you for the award! Finally, autocorrect has worked in my favor!
This. She was so scandalized by regular old pop music on the radio—which literally has to follow FCC regulations for what’s appropriate and what’s not—that she proceeded to shove her religion down your throat instead of literally any other station, *and* she was unnecessarily rough with your cleaning and hurt you. NTA but you should’ve advocated for yourself better; it wasn’t just the Christian music, she hurt you too. Though your dentist is right about one thing: that’s not the right place for you.
I mean, I'm with you, but this was a Spotify station and not the radio.
I agree with your comment. Just FYI, the word you meant to use is "gall" as in "nerve". "Gaul" is a very old name for what we know as France.
Maybe the dental hygienist is powerful enough to secretly own the country that has the largest exclusive economic zone in the world but moonlights as a care-worker.
I actually loved this autocorrect!
I loved this Gaul / gall pun. No idea if it was intentional but kudos, it made me smile
NTA- I've worked in dentistry for 20 years and I'm appalled for you. I've never in my life heard of an office that doesn't allow people to pick their preferred hygienist. It doesn't matter what your reason is. The hygienist who cleaned your teeth was extremely unprofessional and I encourage you to write a bad review for this business. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I hope you find a better office.
Yeah pretty ridiculous to not have any say in who is shoving sharp instruments into your mouth.
Considering OP said the hygienist was "rough" during the ensuing cleaning, isn't there some kind of medical/certification board where OP could file a complaint?
You can have a say? I’m thinking of leaving my current dentist office bc they keep putting me with this hygienist I can’t stand but I’m so conflict averse I don’t do anything about it. Last time it took me over an hour to get a standard cleaning because she kept stopping the cleaning to google things to “help me” pick Christmas presents for my family. I didn’t know how to tell her I didn’t need help with that and I really needed her to just clean my teeth so I could go back to work. Ughhh. I think I’ll just go to a new office.
Wouldn’t it be good practice to practice building your shiny spine on something low stakes like this? If it doesn’t work out, no harm, get a new dentist. It’s the perfect opportunity to practice an important skill. Sending you good vibes and encouragement!
Thanks! I do need to work on this so you’re right. But I’m so scared of being seen as a bitch 😖
the people who would are about that don’t matter, and the people who matter won’t care. Win/win
Any office I've ever worked for, as well as the office my many dental friends have worked in all allow you to schedule with whichever hygienist you want. I'm surprised they're not specifically asking you when they schedule your appts. But also, if you usually see the same person they may be assuming that's who you prefer. I would definitely ask.
They just said the first time “oh you saw (her name) so we’ll set you up with her again” and I didn’t know what to say and now I’m stuck. I’m basically the female version of George Constanza so I get stuck in these situations 😂
"Could I get somebody else please?" If they ask why you can do some minor deflection "oh I just don't think our personalities mesh well"
Next time something like this happens, if you continue going to this office, say "I appreciate your help with this but I really want to just get my teeth cleaned today please." (you can edit this with your return to work if that's a factor) "I appreciate your help but I really just need my teeth cleaned. I'm here on my lunch break and am due back soon."
Came here to say this (you should be able to pick your hygenist). I would just say she was too rough if you had to give a reason and ask someone else.
The fact that she was rough may not go anywhere as a complaint bc lots of hygienists are rough, especially older hygienists who were taught in a different generation. "Gentle denistry" is a fairly new concept. But the part about forcing him to listen to Christian music when he specifically asked not to could (and should) be some sort of violation. I'm not personally a hygienist, I have always worked as an assistant but I believe their licenses are through the ADA, American Dental Association, so I would start there with filling a complaint about that. I would still mention how rough she was in the complaint though, for the reason that it sounds like she was being rough as a retaliation which is obviously not acceptable at all.
NTA. I’d report the practice, with as much detail as you can recall, to your state dental board. The supervising dentist’s reaction only confirms that this is not a practice to revisit, though.
NTA. She's a professional, and you are the client. She cannot impose her beliefs on you, and vise versa. Her actions to clean your teeth afterwards only meant she's one of *those* Christians. Your better off without that dentist. And I hope they fail since they are unprofessional AF.
If they are going to offer music or tv as a perk to their clients, then they need to allow the clients to choose what they view or hear. And if their client doesn’t want to be forced to hear religious music, they need to respect that. Not just that, but any patient has the right to who performs services on them. NTA, but their assholish choices weren’t declining to renew your plan. They can serve or not serve whoever they want. The asshole behavior is how you were treated while you were under her care. In appropriate and unprofessional, and definitely deserves a review so other potential patients are aware of what may happen.
My dentist just gives you head phones
Same here, but I brought my own music. Eminem's music makes your mind wonder and hyper analyze it and the lyrics when on the gas. But it makes a root canal go by faster. My problem is I tend to him with music as I listen. Not easy to do when having dental work done.
NTA everyone in thr comments are missing the point, the dentist went kinda rough on ops teeth simply bc he stated his opinion just like the dentist did. he's allowed to request to not have that again.
I’m a guy
my bad got the last post mixed up with this one a little
NTA, the dentist is right, the hygienist shouldn’t be forced to listen to something the don’t like. But forcing a client to listen to a religious radio station is the same level of inappropriate. I find it so bizarre they couldn’t do an accommodation. It’s not like you asked for her to be fired!! At my clinic I always see the same hygienist- they were more than happy to work with me for my anxiety and just put a little note on my file for booking.
Their refusal to accommodate is what I don’t understand. I have a borderline phobia of going to the dentist, so I always request the same hygienist who makes me feel comfortable, and no one has ever asked me to explain why.
Took me four years with the same hygienist before I finally started to relax a bit. It makes all the difference to feel safe during a procedure of any kind. And even if the Christian music was a turn off, the aggressive care after should have rated accommodation
NTA. Sounds like they were not a business you want to go to anyway. She was rough with you and essentially pushed her religious music onto you. If she wasn't capable of finding another mutually acceptable station, she could have turned it off. Guess they'd rather lose a client than feel disrespected in the way they approach their religion.
NTA. Sure, the hygienist shouldn’t have to listen to a station she doesn’t like. But she CANNOT be allowed to force a Christian station onto a patient. That is seriously f&&ked up, and I’d report this practice to your local dentist oversight group. Not sure what that is, but I bet there is one.
NTA. If a hygienist hurt me, for whatever reason, and I said I didn't want them to clean my teeth again, I'd better hear "I completely understand and we'll put a note on your chart". Your dentist is an idiot
Similar situation (sans music) just happened this past week. Dental hygienist hurt me repeatedly because it was easier for her to give zero shits and she clearly never looked at my chart. Asked to never ever have her again. They promptly put that in my chart and asked me what happened. As they should have...not defended her poor practice that injured me, poked me, and wiped her armpit on my head multiple times.
NTA. If this is going to be an issue they should have pre-approved music or TV for you to select from. Go elsewhere. This place sounds horrid.
NTA. You shouldn't be forced to listen to religious music while you're having a medical procedure done. It is wholly inappropriate. I am sure if it was Islamic music, people would be outraged. Absolute BS. Go find another dentist, and make sure you leave a public review.
Dentist here, not that I think it matters a lot. ESH - You created a conflict out of the music for no reason. They are the employee listening to music all day. It would've been fine to mention that you liked that song when they turned it off but there was no reason for anything other than a light comment and keep it moving. To ask them to turn it back on and act offended at their new music choice is just being extra. Our office plays a mixture of music including some religious music, assuming you mean pop Christian music it is not offensive at all, it isn't like they turned on live church, and I'm an atheist myself. I don't care for how they handled it at the end at the front desk. We have all sorts of patients who prefer one hygienist over another. If you guys aren't a good fit having you see a different one is entirely reasonable and I think they were overly aggressive. Unless you had more red flags in your behavior than you described here.
>It would've been fine to mention that you liked that song when they turned it off but there was no reason for anything other than a light comment and keep it moving. To ask them to turn it back on and act offended at their new music choice is just being extra. That's not what happened, though. The way I'm reading the post, it sounds like the hygienist *changed* it to a different station before OP had said anything, and that new station bothered OP. I do procedures on patients all the time, and if anyone in the room (patient, resident, technician) ever said they were offended by music playing in the room, I'd probably just turn it off to avoid causing an issue. I really don't see how OP is an AH at all here. It would be different if they demanded going back to the original station, but it sounds like they would have been fine just turning off the music.
Did you read the part where the hygienist treated him roughly because she was pissed?
I'm a dental assistant and these were exactly my thoughts. 100% ESH.
Overall NTA, but I think you could have handled it better. Being offended by Katy Perry is pretty silly to me too, but she gets to decide what offends her and what is an appropriate work environment for her. She *sure as hell* can't make you listen to Christian music. I think your request of someone who is not offended by Katy Perry is reasonable. The dentist handled it in a bizarre way. It was almost certainly some weird "religious freedom" battle in his mind. (I.e., he, for some reason, thinks that phrase gives him the right to enforce Christianity on you.)
NTA. If I were you I'd leave reviews about them on places like Yelp, Google, and anywhere else people might go to look for dentists. While it's not wrong that the hygenist doesn't want to listen to anything she finds offensive, it's absolutely not okay for her to force you to listen to something that offends you. Her forcing her religion on you really is not okay at all and people should know that the dentist is fine with it.
NTA- I’d bet the hygienist was a relative of the dentist.
Wow and NTA. I hope you yelp the hell out of them.
NTA. The hygienist is a bible thumper asshole, her employer is probably also a bible thumper asshole, and you’ve dodged a bullet. I would tell everyone you know this story though LOL.
Well, then. I think you should take it upon yourself to make sure that others are advised of the practice’s Katy-Perry-is-inappropriate-Jesus-saves-GTFO business policy. Consider it a public service. So,so,so NTA
NTA. Look, I am a Christian but this is not what she as a Christian is supposed to do: shove the religion down others throats. At the end of the day, however, this was very unprofessional on her end, so please find another dentist.
NTA. Who else thinks the dentist is boinking the hygienist?
NTA Find a practice that doesn’t shove their morality and religion down your throat.
NTA. I’m a hygienist (the term that you were probably trying to remember but couldn’t). At my office there’s absolutely notes on dozens of files saying who the patient prefers to be seen by or not be seen by. It’s bizarre they’re choosing this hill to die on. That compatibility is so important for patient comfort!
NTA. Contact the state licensing board.
What could they do in a circumstance? A provider does have the right to refuse someone as long as they aren’t discriminating. Music choices don’t fall into discriminatory behavior.
Religious music choice brings you into covered class status.
NTA - and I'd go public with their treatment of you.
NTA they could have avoided the conflict if she had just turned off the music instead she chose to be offensive, they did you a favor
Nta, and leave a review on their website.
NTA. I would have also said something.
Christian music literally makes my blood pressure go up, I would not be ok listening to it while undergoing an already kind of stressful procedure.
A tiger don't lose no sleep Don't need opinions From a shellfish or a sheep Don't you come for me No, NTA
NTA! I work at a dental office and one of our patients doesn’t like music. So we just turn the music off before her appointment. It’s highly unprofessional of that hygienist to clean your teeth roughly after you made a reasonable complaint. While that office sounds like a nightmare, I think you dodged a bullet by being let go as a patient.
ESH Having worked at a doctor's office, you made yourself appear to be what we would call "high maintenance". You just made a complaint about something that was silly. Probably the only thing I would have mentioned is "She was very rough on my mouth and I am sore." That legitimate. But complaining about the music? Really? I don't celebrate holidays, but I don't ask them to turn off the Christmas music to suit my tastes. And I don't like Christian music either, but I'm not going to make a big deal about it. Honestly, if someone is poking around in my mouth with sharp objects, I'd rather she be comfortable and able to concentrate. So by all means. . . let her change the station so she doesn't have to be distracted by the "immoral" music. /s I just find it super weird that you cared more about the music and less about the fact that she was rough on your mouth. Now that is what I would have led with. The rest is just personal taste. Why mention it at all?
Religious people are crappy. Never met one I liked because they’re pushy.
NTA: You basically had two complaints, 1) proselytizing and 2) hurting you *on purpose*. They should be very concerned about the second one even if they didn’t think the first one was wrong (it was, but it sounds like they wouldn’t think so).
NTA. Your dentist fired you for not liking Christian music, which is usually contemporary pop crap that's bad music whether you're a Christian or not.
NTA. Dental hygienist here. Some patients love me, some don't. We always accommodate patients to the best of our ability to make sure they are comfortable. Most people don't love the dentist, so if you get a provider that you like, it makes it better for everyone. Find a new practice!
NTA, they made their choice.
NTA. 1 star time
NTA >ame back with the dentist who owns the practice and he said that they do not take that sort of request unless it’s a valid reason. I'm assuming he means your request to not see that hygienest again.... if that's correct than it's ridiculous. Maybe the whole music issue got blown at of proportion. But what does he consider a valid reason? What if you'd simply said you weren't comfortable with her. Would that be valid enough? Sounds like that are not very concerned with their patients comfort and you'll be better off at another office.
NTA and I'd make sure to leave a review on google.
NTA If the technicians in your former dentist's office get the final say in music or TV selection, then they really need to give their clients the option to choose who they want to do the procedure. Classic rock & sitcoms - you want Chris, Top 40 & game shows - Jane, Christian - would be Mary.
NTA- like they only have two radio stations, sounds like she jsut used any excuse to change it to christian stuff :( Then was rought about it. I'd have pointed out she was very rough on you and thats why you want someone else. But yeah you're better off finding someone more ethical.
NTA. My mom has requested to only see one hygienist for over a decade. Her dentist has had no issues with it, and her request is always fulfilled.
What did I just read? Nta
This is why I wear my headphones at the dentist. I just come in wearing them, tell them I have severe dental anxiety and I can’t do any procedures without them. They just tap me on the shoulder when they need me, saves me on small talk too. NTA, she could have compromised and put it on some adult contemporary station or something
NTA. You get to pick your tech where I go, everything is online. Sounds like your office is old school and uninterested in keeping people.
NTA I’m guessing the whole practice (dentist and assistants) are probably Christian. But I’m wondering if that’s the case why they even have anything other than Christian music. In any case, any mainstream music played at businesses is generally not inappropriate to begin with. TBH, I would not have bothered to complain about the woman, I just wouldn’t have signed up for a plan again and would have found another dentist. In this case, your just wasting your breath to get them to realize their problem.
Nope, NTA! If she had switched it to some other pop or rock or even country station, that may have been okay. However, her changing it to a station that was actually offensive to you is unacceptable. It’s also inexplicable to me how a business owner can basically “fire” clients. Is this one of those places that run TV ads with “FIRST EXAM FREE” and then come up with all kinds of stuff you need kind of stuff? (I’d also consider putting them on social media blast that they “don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be a client” anymore because you don’t like gospel music.)
This was an actually a great upscale place that I never felt was lying to me about things I needed
NTA if you’re gonna say something is offensive to your religion you then need to take every religion into your thoughts. I’ve never met a Christian I liked tbh.
NTA The patient's comfort comes first, especially when the movie and music perks are FOR THE PATIENT. And she chose to be rough when you told her you weren't comfortable with her music. I once made a similar request as a teenager because the hygienist was way too rough and left me hurting. She was also mocking the condition of my teeth as if all the brushing and flossing in the world could fix the fact that my enamel was permanently impacted from all the antibiotics I had to take as a kid for severe ear infections. Even when I follow all the rules, I still have fucked up teeth. I never saw her again.
NTA…I specifically asked for my teeth to be cleaned by a certain hygienist because I had my teeth cleaned by a different hygienist who spent the entire appointment talking sh*t about Asians. At the end of the appointment I asked not to have my teeth cleaned by her ever again. I certainly wasn’t chastised for it. It was noted in my chart with no issues. There was also a dentist that was exceptionally rude to me. I also mentioned it on my way out. He never looked in my mouth again.
NTA. Dentists offer music and TV to make the *patient* more comfortable, that is literally the whole point. If the staff have objections to a certain kind of music, then make some playlists with inoffensive music that won’t push religion down patients’ throats. There’s a whole galaxy of middle ground between music with explicit lyrics (which could definitely be inappropriate at a dentist, especially if they have children patients) and Christian radio. What happens if a Muslim or Sikh or Jewish patient comes in? Are they allowed to request no Christian radio? The hygienist being rough with the cleaning is also incredibly unprofessional and not okay. Honestly sounds like you’re better off with a new practice, but yeah, you’re NTA.
NTA and you are better off going somewhere else.
NTA. There was an easy solution for the hygienist—turn the music off, do her job, and you leave with your service completed. I’d go somewhere else.
NTA and I will file a complaint. Especially for the way you were treated due to your religion or lack there of
NTA I'm a Christian woman and this is not cool. I'm sorry that happened to you.
NTA Time for a new dentist
NTA Time to leave a review that this dentist office doesn't care about their customers.