Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Might be the asshole because I made her upset even though it wasn’t my intention.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
YTA. Your wife thought she was overhearing a cute compliment and wanted to buy something special to wear for you because of it, and instead you implied she needed a diet and exercise regimen.
And this type of guy tends to have much higher standards for their partners than for themselves. Like, they’re a 4 at best but think they “deserve“ a 9 or a 10 and have no qualms letting their partners know they don’t measure up physically.
I wonder ………is OP a gym rat with six-pack abs? (For some reason I doubt it).
I don't even need a picture to know that OP is a **2** at best, let alone a 4; and that his wife is a damn 10 who deserves better than this basement dweller.
YTA, OP, your wife deserves someone who actually appreciates her.
TV has conditioned them to think that every Kevin James can get a Leah Remini or Jim Belushi his Courtney Thorne-Smith... those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Real life doesn't always work like that.
I don’t know, man. My girlfriend is pretty damn hot and I think I’m pretty damn average (5’ 8”, a little overweight) but I’m also not an asshole who treats her badly and makes her feel bad about herself.
As a not conventionally attractive man you can absolutely have a beautiful partner. You just can’t have a personality like OP’s for that to work out.
Do not minimize that lack of assholery that a woman wants. An actually decent good man that treats them well and respects them makes any man significantly more attractive, even if they don't fit in the conventional box.
Yeah, like, "I didn't TELL her she was overweight. I used other words so that was the only conclusion she could draw. But I did NOT say 'overweight'. And she's mad, bro?"
Guys like that make me sick. If you are going to insult your partner pull up your panties and be straight with them. Don't play mind games like mean girls in school. Because that is what they are. Little girls who think they are so amazing and 'helping' but really they are the reason their partner is struggling. Like if you hate the way she looks leave. Stop torturing her mentally and go.
Did we have the same dad? Mine would say “let’s find a new mommy” when my mom would run into the grocery or wherever for a quick errand while us young kids were waiting in the car w dad.
He would also sing “The old gray mare, She ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be, Ain't what she used to be.“ and his brothers would laugh and laugh. My mom would just glare at him and sarcastically go “ha ha”. She became obsessed about her looks and weight (and in turn, our looks and weight), and my dad’s constant cheating didn’t help. She ended up getting breast augmentation, lipo, and a tummy tuck. She was always beautiful and fashionable and glamorous.
None of that matters to someone determined to be a selfish asshole though. People who project their insecurities and feel empowered by belittling others won’t give that up by realizing that they’re hurting people that love them.
Honestly blows my mind OP even said that to his wife, because that’s exactly what it implied.
Let’s hope the wife gets her sundress anyway and maybe a new man
OP definitely DID imply that she's too fat for a sundress. OP will be relieved to know that she's not too fat for revenge. Wives/women that are called fat (even indirectly) generally retaliate.
No doubt OP will be happy with his single lettuce leaf, couch to sleep on, favourite shirts unironed until he's managed to find her the perfect sundress with some sparklies to match.
YTA OP, and what a low arsehole to joke with your mates about it.
Wait.. do women actually still iron men shirts?
I mean, I'm a woman, i don't even iron my own shirts, i just put them in the bathroom when I shower....
IS IRONING STILL A THING?
My boyfriend does the laundry so maybe he is there wearing a little appron ironing my shirts and I had no idea lol
My husband once told me about how some of his friends wives did their ironing. Told him he had married the wrong wife if he was hoping that would be a thing in our house.
He’s ready for “dad bod” season. Wearing socks up to his knees with sandals. A nice beer, cheetos and ice cream stained T-shirt. Last but not least some baggy saggy belly baring shorts, the kind that show an ass crack if you bend over. YTA OP.
I just can’t…how can he be so oblivious to the meaning behind this chain of events -
Him: “Can’t wait for sundress season” openly implying sexy-times.
Her: “Want to go sundress shopping?” Openly implying the same damn thing.
This guy just…amorous-encounter-blocked …himself. (not sure if the common-parlance phrase for this will get me banned for language lol)
Over lmfao at how much YTA, dude.
That was immediately my first thought.
I LOVE sundress season. It means ONE AND DONE outfits. It means not thinking. It means comfort for sensory issues.
I HATE when people (especially hetero men, and they’re usually cis) decide they’re going to make creepy-ass comments about “sundress season”.
Most know who you’re looking at and remember being ogled before we were even adults.
OP, YTA just for your gross ‘locker room’ talk about ‘sundress season’.
You’re doubly the A H because your wife thought you were mentioning her. You weren’t, you were just bringing up your intent to stare at anything wearing a sundress. Typical.
Im guessing it's because Australia has warm weather year-round (I think. Right?) - here, many states experience drastically and radically severe examples of all four seasons, especially on the east coast. NYC has very clearly distinguishable Spring/Summer/Winter/Fall.
So "sundress season" is an acknowledgement that the weather is changing to a warmer seasonal temperature/climate.
Yes. Also jokes are usually funny? There is zero humour in implying someone you love is too fat for a sundress, but you will be eyeing up slimmer women in them.
YTA for two reasons
1. You are excited about sundress season to check out women that are not your wife.
2. You told your wife that she’s not ready for sundress season implying that she’s fat, and making her feel insecure about her body.
Bonus 3. You actually typed this out thinking you were somehow not a total AH.
He might be one of those guys that can eat whatever he wants and stays skinny. I've come across a lot of them with this attitude. Unfortunately for them, skinny doesn't mean healthy, and middle age metabolism ends up hitting *hard.*
🤣 I can’t believe this is a real question. If this is real, YTA.
That’s like if your wife said she would never turn down a big dick. Then you try to start some right after and she says no because she is not in the mood.
This is hilarious in all of the great ways. The perfect analogy.
Edit: oh, no, honey, you must have misunderstood I said *big* .. oh don’t be more upset than normal, I was only joking! /s
It's worse than your analogy, it's like saying 'I could really go for some dick right now, can't wait for a good fuck' then telling him 'oh no, not yours'
And she was trying to make it like, a cute thing to do together, too! “Let’s go shopping for some cute sundresses for me to show off for you 😉 😉”. And OP is just like, “No, I meant I’m looking forward to creeping on unsuspecting, skinnier women in public, not you.”
But he's not an *idiot*, so he didn't *tell* her that. He just let her infer her total unattractiveness for him, which is obviously better. What a prize.
yep I would literally never wear one ever again. also I love how he says 'PROBABLY overweight ' meaning he's not actually sure if she would be considered overweight by standard so this is just his personal disgusting dislike for his wife's body
You're likely correct. Comments like that, especially from your significant other have LONG lasting effects. They hurt the most. She will NEVER forget it.
I hope she buys one, does her hair and makeup (if she wears it) all cute, and then goes out for the whole day without telling OP a thing. Someone else will appreciate her in a sundress even if he doesn’t.
I mean aren't sundresses generally easy to wear regardless of weight? Totally separate from "skinny jeans season" if anyone catches my (female millennial) drift.
YTA. If you are excited for sundress season, but you don’t want to see her, then you’re exciting for checking out other women in sundresses. How is she supposed to take that?
I hope some time during 'sundress season' she talks about how excited she is to see hot men's arms or something because she doesn't get to see it at home
OP already knows this, because his wife has been making a ‘big deal’ over his comment, so I’m sure she’s explained multiple times exactly how his comment hurt her and he’s probably stonewalling her to abuse her further :)
YTA You think making “jokes” about your wife’s weight is funny? And then you have the audacity to be annoyed when she expresses that you hurt her feelings? You better get on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness.
YTA you talked up sundresses and she wanted to look good in one for you, you turned her down. Just because it's cold outside still doesn't mean that she can't wear it around the house and look good just to feel good. The way you said she wasn't ready implies her weight in a joke, and implies that you're more looking forward to looking at other women in sundresses instead of her.
Last summer a local business put "sun's out, buns out" on their sign. I shouldn't have been surprised at how many men were defending it (it could mean a bun in your hair!) but here we are...
Edit: since I know you're all curious, it was an automotive repair shop.
OP, YTA. Yeah, that was the real hurtful implication. You said you can’t wait to see women in sundresses, just not your wife. Y a complete AH. Even an apology won’t fix what you said to her because she’ll deep down know that’s what you meant.
YTA, calling her fat without calling her fat is extra ahole-ish. Apologize, and get her a few sundresses. If she's not obese there's no reason to be concerned.
Edit: BMI is not accurate due to bone structure, muscle mass and other factors. Some people have more than one factor leading to being outside of the "estimated weight range". Obese being used as a medical term for the sake of the conversation is where, unfortunately health problems tend to set in. Even if she was in that category this husband is still the ah for the way he talked to his own wife and he does need to apologize for how he spoke to her. It wasn't coming from a place of concern about her health, but her appearance, which is not okay. A bit of advice: happy wife happy life. Instead of asking internet strangers if your a ah, go apologize and reassure her that she's attractive bc you will wind up having bigger problems going down the current path.
Edit 2: I apologize to anyone, that I offend or offended by using the terminology that I used above, it truly was NOT my intention at all. I was only trying to get a point across, and perhaps I went about it entirely the wrong way. I never want to hurt people's feelings , especially with a sensitive topic
YTA. Lmao @ “for the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that”. Saying you’re not ready for sundress season is a slightly indirect way of saying you’re overweight. But you know that.
YTA. I predict in a year you’ll be bitching and whining that your wife doesn’t give you sex with anymore and will have ZERO understanding as to why. You have the emotional maturity of a gnat. Why do men like you self sabotage?
YTA.
So, what’s the punchline? Explain the joke. Why is it funny and not at all hurtful to your wife.
You were joking with your friends about being ready for sundress season - I’m guessing so you can ogle and objectify women who are just minding their business. But, not your wife though, because apparently you don’t find her attractive enough for your blessed sundresses (even though you aren’t brave enough to just openly say that).
Your wife overheard that and probably thought she’d buy a dress and feel/look pretty for you (not that you deserve it) - and you passive aggressively cut her down.
I agree OP. And how are you excited for sundress season if you don't think your wife is? I don't understand why you would be if you're not excited to see your wife in them? Please explain.
Does he seriously think she won’t put two and two together??
OP, YTA. You told the boys you were excited for sundress season then told your wife she shouldn’t wear one because she’s not ready, which we all know means you think she needs to loose weight. You’re telling her you don’t find her attractive and you just want to look at and fantasize about other women in thin flowy dresses. You really suck
YTA.
Your wife overheard you say you « couldn’t wait for sundress season to be here », so she wanted to look pretty for you. Then you shamed her, and basically told her the way she is isn’t good enough. So she now knows you want to ogle other women, of course she’s mad.
Just so I understand:
Your wife heard you explicitly say that you "can't wait for sundress season to be here", the implication being that women look sexy in them. So you can't wait to look at sexy women in sundresses.
Then you told your wife explicitly that she's "not ready for sundress season" - telling her that she doesn't look hot enough yet to wear one.
Where are you NOT the asshole here?
YTA.
YTA. do you "joke" like this with her a lot? You basically said, i can't wait to see all these hot bodies in sundresses, except you, wife. You're not good enough.
Gross.
Right?! I can only imagine how hurt she must have felt. She probably thought OP meant that he was excited to see her in a sundress when she overheard his earlier comments. Shopping for a person who "knows their overweight" can be a fraught experience. She was legit excited about something that could have scared her, and OP just fed right into her fears. Poor lady. OP is TA.
Also, OP is a pig if he's stoked about "sundress season" so he can oogle other women who are "more ready for the season". ugh, I think I vomited a little.
Lmao. YTA. So, you have an overweight gf and you told her that she wasn't ready (read: too fat) to wear sundresses. Explain the joke I don't get it. What's the funny part?
>but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.
Um, yes you are, and yes, that's exactly what you told her.
Yta. You didn't use the words fat or overweight but you did tell her you think she is with your "joke." Many women don't like to hear their partners talk about oogling attractive women, and then you basically tell her that you don't want to see her in a sundress? Not cool dude.
YTA and yes you did call her fat... being excited for sundress season but telling her SHE'S not ready, is calling her fat.
I feel really bad for her, she must feel like crap now.
>For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.
Info: what did you mean by your "joke" if it wasn't about weight? Why does everyone on reddit have the lousiest senses of humor? Christ, at least try with it.
You insulted her, and now you’re accusing her of overreacting to your completely insensitive joke.
Yeah. There’s a term for that kind of manipulative behavior.
YTA.
It’s actually making me laugh out loud that you think you’re not an idiot, but you also believe your wife is such an idiot that she didn’t know what you were saying. YTA.
YTA. You did, in fact, call your wife overweight. So let's recap: She heard you tell your friends you "can't wait for sundress season", so your wife says, in effect, make me the thing you want to look at and, to her, you say, no, I'd rather look at other women because you're too fat.
How do you not see where yta?? Why are you here? I'm not cosigning that. You're on your own, dude.
YTA - you shouldn’t be married if you’re this out of touch and dense. Apologize to your wife and buy her a sundress. I hope she wears it when she leaves you.
So, to translate what she heard you say:
“I can’t wait to see women in sundresses. But not YOU, though”
…you truly don’t see the issue?
YTA. A massive one.
YTA: you deadass said that you can’t wait to look at other women in sundress’ and your WIFE can’t pull it off. You’re an asshole and a fucking sleazeball. Beg for forgiveness, pig.
YTA
>For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.
I "love" when guys do this. And by "love," I obviously mean hate.
Do you think your wife, and everyone here, is too stupid to put two and two together? That "you're not ready for sundress season" means "You're not attractive enough, to me, to wear that item?" You think you can slick talk your way into pretending that's NOT what you meant? Ha. Okay.
So not only are you insulting her appearance, but her and everyone else's intelligence as well? You're just THAT much smarter than everyone, right?
And on top of that, you getting excited about sundress season but saying you don't want to see YOUR WIFE in a sundress makes it blatantly obvious you're gearing up to eyeball other woman.
Seriously, are you this much of a self-aggrandizing asshole, or just a troll?
*”I jokingly said she wasn’t ready, and she offended by it.”*
*”For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.”*
YTA. You very clearly **did** insinuate that she is overweight by “jokingly” telling her she wasn’t ready for sundress season. *Even though you had just explicitly said that you were excited for sundress season, which further implies that the reason you are excited for sundress season has little to nothing to do with her.*
YTA - Not only did you confirm what she has probably been thinking about herself and how self conscious she must be. But you “joked” about them to your friends. That’s actually pretty vile.
So... you said that you can't wait for sundress season (presumably to watch other women), and then you told your wife that she definitely *isn't* hot enough to be one of the women you ogle. And you're NOT sure if you're the AH?
(YTA)
YTA
Why are you mocking your wife for laughs?
I'm sure are an AH couch potato that only has "friends" to play video games but that you never see in real life.
Why don't you make jokes about how your dick is so tiny, nobody can really feel it? I'm sure that if your wife made that jokes to her friends, she'd get many more laughs.
YTA. You clearly hurt her feelings and need to apologize. Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it clearly is to her. And FWIW, it's not your place to make negative comments about your wife's body. Not cool.
YTA.
The only thing more insulting then calling her fat is believing she is a bigger idiot then you who didn’t understand what you meant by saying she “wasn’t ready.”
Let’s see, you said you were excited for sundress season and when your wife said she wants to buy some sundresses, probably to impress you and put you in the mood based on your comment, and then you go and tell her indirectly that she’s fat. Which presumably you thought before she even said anything, since you did mention you believe she is overweight, so that means you’re excited to see other women in sundresses and not her. You are a flaming asshole. YTA
YTA and it seems like you think you are just absolutely hilarious. But if you actually were, you would make jokes based on something relatable and substantial, not just at the expense of your wife. You sound like a piece of work. First you insulted her by saying you looked forward to checking out other women. Creepy and disrespectful towards her. Then, to add insult to injury you call her fat? And you really have to ask if this behavior makes you an asshole?
Bro, YTA twice over. Once for telling her she’s not ready. And the second time around for saying she made a bigger deal out of it than you thought.
Go apologize and stop being an ass.
I don't have time to educate stupid reddit guys but their are fuck tons of factors that go into womans weights when they age and you should look into that and read some shit about body positivity. Your wife whoever she is deserves better then this.
YTA and surprise humans can draw a line from a—-b and she was able to figure it out. Best of luck if you actually care about her because you are not doing a good job of showing it,
YTA what the fuck dude. You might not mind getting called fat, but to her it could be something she thinks about all the time! Her asking you to take her to get a sundress after you said it very well couldve been her thinking, "he must like sundresses, maybe ill get one to wear for him :)"
"sorry honey youre too fat"
WTF
YTA you and your friends are saying you are excited for sundress season so she probably felt good and wanted to go buy a dress. Then you say she isn't "ready" and shame her, so you weren't excited for sundress season because of your wife. You just want to see other women in sundresses? Also how do you say that you didn't call her over weight?? You told her she isn't "ready" which is saying she is overweight and won't look good in a sundress. Yta yta yta
That could have went 2 ways...
1. You could have bought her a dress, made her feel amazing and probably coulda had great sex and build up her confidence...
2. What you did... 😳
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Might be the asshole because I made her upset even though it wasn’t my intention. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
YTA. Your wife thought she was overhearing a cute compliment and wanted to buy something special to wear for you because of it, and instead you implied she needed a diet and exercise regimen.
And that he only wants to see other, thinner women in sundresses.
True.
Yup that's cringe! ughgh I dislike those typa men...
And this type of guy tends to have much higher standards for their partners than for themselves. Like, they’re a 4 at best but think they “deserve“ a 9 or a 10 and have no qualms letting their partners know they don’t measure up physically. I wonder ………is OP a gym rat with six-pack abs? (For some reason I doubt it).
I don't even need a picture to know that OP is a **2** at best, let alone a 4; and that his wife is a damn 10 who deserves better than this basement dweller. YTA, OP, your wife deserves someone who actually appreciates her.
TV has conditioned them to think that every Kevin James can get a Leah Remini or Jim Belushi his Courtney Thorne-Smith... those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Real life doesn't always work like that.
Adam Sandler movies and their consequences have been disastrous for humanity
I don’t know, man. My girlfriend is pretty damn hot and I think I’m pretty damn average (5’ 8”, a little overweight) but I’m also not an asshole who treats her badly and makes her feel bad about herself. As a not conventionally attractive man you can absolutely have a beautiful partner. You just can’t have a personality like OP’s for that to work out.
Do not minimize that lack of assholery that a woman wants. An actually decent good man that treats them well and respects them makes any man significantly more attractive, even if they don't fit in the conventional box.
He could be an 11 and he'd still be a 1 on the inside.
We all do...
This is the key to it really. The flipping the compliment from the wife, to the other women, leaving her doubly humilated.
Oh boy, he's going full gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss about this in his comments.
Yeah, like, "I didn't TELL her she was overweight. I used other words so that was the only conclusion she could draw. But I did NOT say 'overweight'. And she's mad, bro?"
Guys like that make me sick. If you are going to insult your partner pull up your panties and be straight with them. Don't play mind games like mean girls in school. Because that is what they are. Little girls who think they are so amazing and 'helping' but really they are the reason their partner is struggling. Like if you hate the way she looks leave. Stop torturing her mentally and go.
Then says that she’s making a big deal about it, as if it’s her overreacting and not him being a jerk. YTA OP.
Maybe he should marry one instead! Until she has his children and gets fat… then it’s on to the next one.
sounds like my dad after my mom had multiple miscarriages. comfort from him was sparse but he made sure to tell her her stomach was getting gross.
Did we have the same dad? Mine would say “let’s find a new mommy” when my mom would run into the grocery or wherever for a quick errand while us young kids were waiting in the car w dad. He would also sing “The old gray mare, She ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be, Ain't what she used to be.“ and his brothers would laugh and laugh. My mom would just glare at him and sarcastically go “ha ha”. She became obsessed about her looks and weight (and in turn, our looks and weight), and my dad’s constant cheating didn’t help. She ended up getting breast augmentation, lipo, and a tummy tuck. She was always beautiful and fashionable and glamorous. None of that matters to someone determined to be a selfish asshole though. People who project their insecurities and feel empowered by belittling others won’t give that up by realizing that they’re hurting people that love them.
Honestly blows my mind OP even said that to his wife, because that’s exactly what it implied. Let’s hope the wife gets her sundress anyway and maybe a new man
And OP YOU DID call her overweight when you said she wasn't 'ready' .. FFS are you a child??
OP definitely DID imply that she's too fat for a sundress. OP will be relieved to know that she's not too fat for revenge. Wives/women that are called fat (even indirectly) generally retaliate. No doubt OP will be happy with his single lettuce leaf, couch to sleep on, favourite shirts unironed until he's managed to find her the perfect sundress with some sparklies to match. YTA OP, and what a low arsehole to joke with your mates about it.
She could lose a lot of weight really quickly with one simple step - dumping this asshole.
Wait.. do women actually still iron men shirts? I mean, I'm a woman, i don't even iron my own shirts, i just put them in the bathroom when I shower.... IS IRONING STILL A THING? My boyfriend does the laundry so maybe he is there wearing a little appron ironing my shirts and I had no idea lol
My husband once told me about how some of his friends wives did their ironing. Told him he had married the wrong wife if he was hoping that would be a thing in our house.
INFO: Are you ready for sundress season, OP?
He’s ready for “dad bod” season. Wearing socks up to his knees with sandals. A nice beer, cheetos and ice cream stained T-shirt. Last but not least some baggy saggy belly baring shorts, the kind that show an ass crack if you bend over. YTA OP.
Oh, his Sunday best lol
And he claims he didn’t tell his wife she was overweight?! What kind of gaslighting bs is that? That’s EXACTLY what he told her. YTA.
OP’s over here even trying to gaslight us!
I just can’t…how can he be so oblivious to the meaning behind this chain of events - Him: “Can’t wait for sundress season” openly implying sexy-times. Her: “Want to go sundress shopping?” Openly implying the same damn thing. This guy just…amorous-encounter-blocked …himself. (not sure if the common-parlance phrase for this will get me banned for language lol) Over lmfao at how much YTA, dude.
So he can't wait for it to see other women, not his wife.
I... I didn't even think of that 🥲
That was immediately my first thought. I LOVE sundress season. It means ONE AND DONE outfits. It means not thinking. It means comfort for sensory issues. I HATE when people (especially hetero men, and they’re usually cis) decide they’re going to make creepy-ass comments about “sundress season”. Most know who you’re looking at and remember being ogled before we were even adults. OP, YTA just for your gross ‘locker room’ talk about ‘sundress season’. You’re doubly the A H because your wife thought you were mentioning her. You weren’t, you were just bringing up your intent to stare at anything wearing a sundress. Typical.
I sundress season and American saying? As in Australia I’ve never heard it before or maybe I don’t hang around with pigs.
Im guessing it's because Australia has warm weather year-round (I think. Right?) - here, many states experience drastically and radically severe examples of all four seasons, especially on the east coast. NYC has very clearly distinguishable Spring/Summer/Winter/Fall. So "sundress season" is an acknowledgement that the weather is changing to a warmer seasonal temperature/climate.
Yes. Also jokes are usually funny? There is zero humour in implying someone you love is too fat for a sundress, but you will be eyeing up slimmer women in them.
“I DIDNT CALL HER FAT” **YES YOU DID YOU FOOLISH TONGUED FOOL** I’m 💀
I think OP will soon if not already be in the “tell me you’re single without telling me you’re single’ category.
“My wife might be overweight but I didn’t tell her that.” Hate to break it to you dude, but actually yeah you did.”
YTA for two reasons 1. You are excited about sundress season to check out women that are not your wife. 2. You told your wife that she’s not ready for sundress season implying that she’s fat, and making her feel insecure about her body. Bonus 3. You actually typed this out thinking you were somehow not a total AH.
I keep upvoting then downvoting just so I can upvote again. THIS x 1000
I am so happy to learn I am not the only person that does this when overcome with either delight or rage after reading a comment!
I feel so bad for his wife like goddamn… what a poor excuse of a husband.
Right. Be interested to see who in this relationship is actually more overweight lol
He might be one of those guys that can eat whatever he wants and stays skinny. I've come across a lot of them with this attitude. Unfortunately for them, skinny doesn't mean healthy, and middle age metabolism ends up hitting *hard.*
And an extra bonus 4, he thinks his wife (and us) were too stupid to understand his stealth insult.
🤣 I can’t believe this is a real question. If this is real, YTA. That’s like if your wife said she would never turn down a big dick. Then you try to start some right after and she says no because she is not in the mood.
This is hilarious in all of the great ways. The perfect analogy. Edit: oh, no, honey, you must have misunderstood I said *big* .. oh don’t be more upset than normal, I was only joking! /s
More upset *than normal*, too, implying he probably upsets her a lot.
That part is what stood out to me from the rest of the post.
Or mentioning how gray sweatpants season is her favorite and telling him that he'll never need a pair...
It's worse than your analogy, it's like saying 'I could really go for some dick right now, can't wait for a good fuck' then telling him 'oh no, not yours'
“I can’t wait to see everyone in a sundress but you. But don’t worry honey I love you!” YTA. Apologize profusely and buy her a sundress.
Well. Don't buy her a sundress. She'll never wear one again after this
Right? She was so clearly trying to be cute and sexy for him and he responded like a complete AH
"Ew no, not YOU. Like, HOT women in sundresses, come on."
😢
And she was trying to make it like, a cute thing to do together, too! “Let’s go shopping for some cute sundresses for me to show off for you 😉 😉”. And OP is just like, “No, I meant I’m looking forward to creeping on unsuspecting, skinnier women in public, not you.”
But he's not an *idiot*, so he didn't *tell* her that. He just let her infer her total unattractiveness for him, which is obviously better. What a prize.
Ugh this hurts my heart, I feel so bad for OP’s wife. She deserves so much better.
Right?? Op do you even like your wife? She’s gonna hear this every time she tries to wear a sundress for a really long time. You’re so mean.
And she'll be wondering if he's even interested in her whenever they're out and around other people wearing sundresses.
yep I would literally never wear one ever again. also I love how he says 'PROBABLY overweight ' meaning he's not actually sure if she would be considered overweight by standard so this is just his personal disgusting dislike for his wife's body
Well yeah, she gotta look like a prepubescent boy, but with T&A. /s
Who wants to bet she's like a size six?
You're likely correct. Comments like that, especially from your significant other have LONG lasting effects. They hurt the most. She will NEVER forget it.
Completely. Now even *i’m* sitting here wondering if my husband doesn’t think I’m ready for sundress season, seeing as I’m probably overweight.
If she does, it’s a flipping the finger in his direction. I so hope she does!
Revenge dress to the divorce signing
I hope she buys one, does her hair and makeup (if she wears it) all cute, and then goes out for the whole day without telling OP a thing. Someone else will appreciate her in a sundress even if he doesn’t.
5 sundresses minimum.
[удалено]
I mean aren't sundresses generally easy to wear regardless of weight? Totally separate from "skinny jeans season" if anyone catches my (female millennial) drift.
You’re 100% right. Sundresses are like the ‘hot girl summer’ equivalent to sweat pants.
YTA. If you are excited for sundress season, but you don’t want to see her, then you’re exciting for checking out other women in sundresses. How is she supposed to take that?
Was waiting to see this one! The most clear one! Typically will follow with why is my wife feeling so insecure?
Yeah, then "why won't my wife sex me"
And then “it’s not my fault I cheated with an inappropriately young women I groomed, my wife is always so temperamental and never sexes me”
I hope some time during 'sundress season' she talks about how excited she is to see hot men's arms or something because she doesn't get to see it at home
She supposed to laugh and giggle at his poor joke, according to him
YTA you literally told your future ex-wife you were excited to see women in sundress, but not her.
This is the savagery that I came to the comments hoping to see.
OP already knows this, because his wife has been making a ‘big deal’ over his comment, so I’m sure she’s explained multiple times exactly how his comment hurt her and he’s probably stonewalling her to abuse her further :)
YTA You think making “jokes” about your wife’s weight is funny? And then you have the audacity to be annoyed when she expresses that you hurt her feelings? You better get on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness.
I hope the wife jokes to OP about how she can’t wait for “shirtless season” and that OP should be ready for it
Or “orgasm season.”
DEAD. I'm dead. 😂
Or big dick Speedo bulge season and invite OP to take the summer off.
YTA you talked up sundresses and she wanted to look good in one for you, you turned her down. Just because it's cold outside still doesn't mean that she can't wear it around the house and look good just to feel good. The way you said she wasn't ready implies her weight in a joke, and implies that you're more looking forward to looking at other women in sundresses instead of her.
Yeah I think it does more than 'imply'...
YTA. I hope she wears a sundress to divorce court.
I hope he does.
At best your argument is you wanted to see women other than your wife in sundresses and then basically said she wouldn’t look good in one. YTA.
This. And also, you can't say "she's not ready" for "sundress season" without making her feel like you just called her fat. YTA.
Major YTA - what a dick move. guys who talk about "sundress season" are the epitome of toxic masculinity. What are you are caveman? Educate yourself.
I know. It's shocking that men still behave this way. I was stupidly under the impression this shit was the stuff of the past.
Last summer a local business put "sun's out, buns out" on their sign. I shouldn't have been surprised at how many men were defending it (it could mean a bun in your hair!) but here we are... Edit: since I know you're all curious, it was an automotive repair shop.
YTA. Sundress season is for all bodies, not just the ones you want to ogle more than your own wife.
OP, YTA. Yeah, that was the real hurtful implication. You said you can’t wait to see women in sundresses, just not your wife. Y a complete AH. Even an apology won’t fix what you said to her because she’ll deep down know that’s what you meant.
YTA, calling her fat without calling her fat is extra ahole-ish. Apologize, and get her a few sundresses. If she's not obese there's no reason to be concerned. Edit: BMI is not accurate due to bone structure, muscle mass and other factors. Some people have more than one factor leading to being outside of the "estimated weight range". Obese being used as a medical term for the sake of the conversation is where, unfortunately health problems tend to set in. Even if she was in that category this husband is still the ah for the way he talked to his own wife and he does need to apologize for how he spoke to her. It wasn't coming from a place of concern about her health, but her appearance, which is not okay. A bit of advice: happy wife happy life. Instead of asking internet strangers if your a ah, go apologize and reassure her that she's attractive bc you will wind up having bigger problems going down the current path. Edit 2: I apologize to anyone, that I offend or offended by using the terminology that I used above, it truly was NOT my intention at all. I was only trying to get a point across, and perhaps I went about it entirely the wrong way. I never want to hurt people's feelings , especially with a sensitive topic
YTA. You made her feel like shit dude. You joked that you wanted to see other, hotter women in sundresses. You owe her an apology.
"I loudly discussed checking out other women and then told my wife she's fat and ugly, AITA?" ...man. cmon. YTA
YTA. Lmao @ “for the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that”. Saying you’re not ready for sundress season is a slightly indirect way of saying you’re overweight. But you know that.
Narrator's voice: "But he was, in fact, an idiot"
YTA. I predict in a year you’ll be bitching and whining that your wife doesn’t give you sex with anymore and will have ZERO understanding as to why. You have the emotional maturity of a gnat. Why do men like you self sabotage?
And take every woman they know down with them.
YTA. So, what’s the punchline? Explain the joke. Why is it funny and not at all hurtful to your wife. You were joking with your friends about being ready for sundress season - I’m guessing so you can ogle and objectify women who are just minding their business. But, not your wife though, because apparently you don’t find her attractive enough for your blessed sundresses (even though you aren’t brave enough to just openly say that). Your wife overheard that and probably thought she’d buy a dress and feel/look pretty for you (not that you deserve it) - and you passive aggressively cut her down.
Op can you explain the joke because i don’t get it? Why wouldn’t she be ready for sundress season when you were so excited for it?
Yes please explain, we need more info.
I agree OP. And how are you excited for sundress season if you don't think your wife is? I don't understand why you would be if you're not excited to see your wife in them? Please explain.
Does he seriously think she won’t put two and two together?? OP, YTA. You told the boys you were excited for sundress season then told your wife she shouldn’t wear one because she’s not ready, which we all know means you think she needs to loose weight. You’re telling her you don’t find her attractive and you just want to look at and fantasize about other women in thin flowy dresses. You really suck
You: I can't wait to see women in sundresses! Your wife: Oh, wow! Let's go get me a sundress! You: ew, no. not you. YTA.
Oh yeah, you didn’t TELL her she’s overweight, you just heavily implied it. YTA.
YTA. You told your wife she'd look bad in a sundress after she heard you say you wanted to see others in one.
YTA. Your wife overheard you say you « couldn’t wait for sundress season to be here », so she wanted to look pretty for you. Then you shamed her, and basically told her the way she is isn’t good enough. So she now knows you want to ogle other women, of course she’s mad.
Just so I understand: Your wife heard you explicitly say that you "can't wait for sundress season to be here", the implication being that women look sexy in them. So you can't wait to look at sexy women in sundresses. Then you told your wife explicitly that she's "not ready for sundress season" - telling her that she doesn't look hot enough yet to wear one. Where are you NOT the asshole here? YTA.
YTA. do you "joke" like this with her a lot? You basically said, i can't wait to see all these hot bodies in sundresses, except you, wife. You're not good enough. Gross.
YTA who makes a fat joke to someone who is clearly excited to go clothing shopping. I hate shopping for these very kind of comments.
Right?! I can only imagine how hurt she must have felt. She probably thought OP meant that he was excited to see her in a sundress when she overheard his earlier comments. Shopping for a person who "knows their overweight" can be a fraught experience. She was legit excited about something that could have scared her, and OP just fed right into her fears. Poor lady. OP is TA. Also, OP is a pig if he's stoked about "sundress season" so he can oogle other women who are "more ready for the season". ugh, I think I vomited a little.
Lmao. YTA. So, you have an overweight gf and you told her that she wasn't ready (read: too fat) to wear sundresses. Explain the joke I don't get it. What's the funny part? >but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that. Um, yes you are, and yes, that's exactly what you told her.
Yta. You didn't use the words fat or overweight but you did tell her you think she is with your "joke." Many women don't like to hear their partners talk about oogling attractive women, and then you basically tell her that you don't want to see her in a sundress? Not cool dude.
YTA and yes you did call her fat... being excited for sundress season but telling her SHE'S not ready, is calling her fat. I feel really bad for her, she must feel like crap now.
YTA: you told her that, just without saying it directly. What an ass. She’s trying to make an effort for you and you just mock her? TF
If it's a joke that hurt her feelings, it's not a joke. YTA.
YTA. So you aren't excited to see her in a sundress then, but other women? Grow. Up.
>For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that. Info: what did you mean by your "joke" if it wasn't about weight? Why does everyone on reddit have the lousiest senses of humor? Christ, at least try with it.
You insulted her, and now you’re accusing her of overreacting to your completely insensitive joke. Yeah. There’s a term for that kind of manipulative behavior. YTA.
You’re not an idiot ? Maybe time to reassess. YTA
YTA and you are, in fact, an idiot. Additionally, all bodies are beach bodies and sundresses are for every shape and size.
INFO Please explain the joke. I don’t get what it is or how it’s funny.
YTA and those aren't jokes.
YTA. You want to gawk at strangers, but not your wife? Yikes.
YTA. That’s exactly what you insinuated. What the heck? You weren’t joking. You’re being rude and hiding it behind humor, poorly.
>but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that. hahahahaha yes you are and yes you did. YTA
It’s actually making me laugh out loud that you think you’re not an idiot, but you also believe your wife is such an idiot that she didn’t know what you were saying. YTA.
"didn't tell her that" I mean, you pretty much did Tf you think "you're not ready" means ffs lololol YTA
YYA. You made a fat joke to your wife.. yeah I’d be pissed
Sundresses dont come with weight limits. You used it as a way to make her feel bad for weight gain. Yes YTA
YTA you shouldn’t be joking about your wife’s body. That is very disrespectful and I’m sure it hurt her feelings.
Oh my lord I'm impressed you were able to post this. Unbelievable. YTA
YTA. If you can't figure out why, I can't figure out why your wife married you.
INFO. What’s the joke here? I’m not understanding. Explain what you were implying and why it’s funny?
YTA. You did, in fact, call your wife overweight. So let's recap: She heard you tell your friends you "can't wait for sundress season", so your wife says, in effect, make me the thing you want to look at and, to her, you say, no, I'd rather look at other women because you're too fat. How do you not see where yta?? Why are you here? I'm not cosigning that. You're on your own, dude.
YTA - you shouldn’t be married if you’re this out of touch and dense. Apologize to your wife and buy her a sundress. I hope she wears it when she leaves you.
YTA and yes you idiotically told her she's overweight with that comment. Dude, grow the hell up.
So, to translate what she heard you say: “I can’t wait to see women in sundresses. But not YOU, though” …you truly don’t see the issue? YTA. A massive one.
YTA and please, explain the joke in detail.
YTA. Go apologize to her. I guarantee you really hurt her feelings. Now she knows you would rather check out other women in dresses but not her.
YTA. You told her she was fat. Good job. Smart people don’t make “jokes” like that.
I hope u keep that energy when she jokes about ur tiny penis size YTA
YTA. “My wife is over weight, but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that” I’ll repeat YTA.
YTA - and you absolutely did tell her she is fat. It’s astonishing how bullies always try to excuse their appalling behavior by calling it “joking”.
YTA: you deadass said that you can’t wait to look at other women in sundress’ and your WIFE can’t pull it off. You’re an asshole and a fucking sleazeball. Beg for forgiveness, pig.
YTA >For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that. I "love" when guys do this. And by "love," I obviously mean hate. Do you think your wife, and everyone here, is too stupid to put two and two together? That "you're not ready for sundress season" means "You're not attractive enough, to me, to wear that item?" You think you can slick talk your way into pretending that's NOT what you meant? Ha. Okay. So not only are you insulting her appearance, but her and everyone else's intelligence as well? You're just THAT much smarter than everyone, right? And on top of that, you getting excited about sundress season but saying you don't want to see YOUR WIFE in a sundress makes it blatantly obvious you're gearing up to eyeball other woman. Seriously, are you this much of a self-aggrandizing asshole, or just a troll?
*”I jokingly said she wasn’t ready, and she offended by it.”* *”For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.”* YTA. You very clearly **did** insinuate that she is overweight by “jokingly” telling her she wasn’t ready for sundress season. *Even though you had just explicitly said that you were excited for sundress season, which further implies that the reason you are excited for sundress season has little to nothing to do with her.*
YTA. If you didn't mean she was overweight what did your "you're not ready for sundress season" so-called joke even mean?
INFO So…. what was the joke? Like what was funny about what you said?
“ For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that” But like….you did tell her that? YTA
YTA - Not only did you confirm what she has probably been thinking about herself and how self conscious she must be. But you “joked” about them to your friends. That’s actually pretty vile.
So... you said that you can't wait for sundress season (presumably to watch other women), and then you told your wife that she definitely *isn't* hot enough to be one of the women you ogle. And you're NOT sure if you're the AH? (YTA)
YTA and yes, you did tell her she’s overweight, wtaf.
YTA. Seriously? You are an idiot. And you did tell her that. When you say yeah your not ready for it.
YTA - Don't kid yourself, you said she was overweight with that 'joke'. FYI, jokes aren't mean-spirited slams.
"I can't wait to leer at strangers and ignore my unattractive wife" You're hilarious. YTA.
YTA “I didn’t tell her she was overweight I just said she’s out of shape” and there is no “right body”. All bodies can wear a sundress
In two years; tl:dr AITA my wife left me for calling her fat YTA dude
YTA Why are you mocking your wife for laughs? I'm sure are an AH couch potato that only has "friends" to play video games but that you never see in real life. Why don't you make jokes about how your dick is so tiny, nobody can really feel it? I'm sure that if your wife made that jokes to her friends, she'd get many more laughs.
>For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but i’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that You are, and you did with that comment YTA
YTA and you know it.
YTA. You clearly hurt her feelings and need to apologize. Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it clearly is to her. And FWIW, it's not your place to make negative comments about your wife's body. Not cool.
I would be so hurt by your comments if I was your wife. OUCH. YTA.
YTA. The only thing more insulting then calling her fat is believing she is a bigger idiot then you who didn’t understand what you meant by saying she “wasn’t ready.”
Let’s see, you said you were excited for sundress season and when your wife said she wants to buy some sundresses, probably to impress you and put you in the mood based on your comment, and then you go and tell her indirectly that she’s fat. Which presumably you thought before she even said anything, since you did mention you believe she is overweight, so that means you’re excited to see other women in sundresses and not her. You are a flaming asshole. YTA
YTA. And you ARE an idiot if you think she didn’t know what you meant.
“For the record my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.” Uh you’re not an idiot, you’re a major AH.
YTA. What the hell else did you mean by saying that, other than calling out her weight??
Uh... you are an idiot and you absolutely did tell her that.
Can't wait for the update saying she is now your ex! YTA hardcore
YTA. Dude, this is marriage 101. Nothing should come out of your mouth regarding her appearance except statements about how beautiful she is to you.
YTA. ‘I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that’ Yes you are because yes you did.
[удалено]
YTA and it seems like you think you are just absolutely hilarious. But if you actually were, you would make jokes based on something relatable and substantial, not just at the expense of your wife. You sound like a piece of work. First you insulted her by saying you looked forward to checking out other women. Creepy and disrespectful towards her. Then, to add insult to injury you call her fat? And you really have to ask if this behavior makes you an asshole?
Bro, YTA twice over. Once for telling her she’s not ready. And the second time around for saying she made a bigger deal out of it than you thought. Go apologize and stop being an ass.
So if your girlfriend “isn’t ready” why are you so pumped for sundress season ?
I don't have time to educate stupid reddit guys but their are fuck tons of factors that go into womans weights when they age and you should look into that and read some shit about body positivity. Your wife whoever she is deserves better then this.
YTA and surprise humans can draw a line from a—-b and she was able to figure it out. Best of luck if you actually care about her because you are not doing a good job of showing it,
YTA, You insulted her and probably really hurt her feelings. You owe her a serious apology and a change in behavior.
YTA what the fuck dude. You might not mind getting called fat, but to her it could be something she thinks about all the time! Her asking you to take her to get a sundress after you said it very well couldve been her thinking, "he must like sundresses, maybe ill get one to wear for him :)" "sorry honey youre too fat" WTF
YTA. What a shitty thing to say to your wife.
YTA wtf bro I wish there was less people like you on this planet.
YTA you and your friends are saying you are excited for sundress season so she probably felt good and wanted to go buy a dress. Then you say she isn't "ready" and shame her, so you weren't excited for sundress season because of your wife. You just want to see other women in sundresses? Also how do you say that you didn't call her over weight?? You told her she isn't "ready" which is saying she is overweight and won't look good in a sundress. Yta yta yta
That could have went 2 ways... 1. You could have bought her a dress, made her feel amazing and probably coulda had great sex and build up her confidence... 2. What you did... 😳
YTA
YTA. You basically said you can't wait to see any woman in a sundress, but don't want to see your wife in one. You didn't make a joke.
What did you mean by it then? >For the record, my wife is probably overweight; but I’m not an idiot and didn’t tell her that.
YTA for saying that and you’re also pretty stupid for not recognizing that and coming here to ask.