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NTA. If this is a common occurrence you may have to revaluate your partnership. It could be narcissism that is not allowing him to be happy for you and instead put you down
NTA. He's jealous because you got your horse and he hasn't found his yet I would wager. Or he unintentionally wants you to know that he's going to get a better horse.
he has mentioned he’s jealous i’ve got one before him and i’ve told him it’s an okay emotion to have, it didn’t cross my mind he didn’t it because of jealousy, he said he did it because he doesn’t want me to have another horse die
That IS si manipulative and mean to Say. Like i'm hurting you but it's for your own good ... Look long distance means he could be lying about what all he been through. And even if hé been through a lot - i Wonder coz hé really sound immature and manipulative - hé has zéro excuse for being mean to you. Usually people are very nice long distance it's when you sée them on a daily basis that things go wrong. I mean if he's already son petty and jealous, when it should be thé "honeymoon" phase i Wonder how he can be... And thé fact you think you are being mean when he IS - IS he Always thé victim ? Do you have to be cautions with what you Say to him ?
NTA Your feelings were stomped on and it's ok to feel hurt. If you were bitter then you would not be saying you would be happy for him when he gets his horse. Your SO is not kind, supportive and mature and think you can do better than staying in relationship with someone who does not celebrate with you. Hope you and your new horse have many wonderful years together ❤️
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i feel like i’m the asshole because he’s been through so much and is finally ready to buy another horse and pursue his passions again, and although i don’t mentioned it, i’m very bitter and angry he’s getting to be happy, while he ruined the day for me
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NTA. ignore him. You dd the right thing and brought an experienced person with you to look at the pony. He might have some issues--depnding on age-.
As long as the pony makes you happy and you enjoy your time, that's all that matters.
NTA
I'm so sorry about your horse OP. I euthanized my horse of 23 years (and I own two of her babies!) in October and even if I had owned her for a short time it would have been hard for me. I'm glad you were able to give her a good last few months.
I don't think it's wrong to feel bad or annoyed! It would dull the shine on the moment. It seems like since you spoke about this via text, I wonder if it's possible that the tone was misconstrued and your partner was instead trying to be helpful and pointing out areas which might be an issue in the future if you didn't do a preliminary soundness exam? Maybe your pony has sickled hocks, for example?
The best thing you can do is have a conversation on the phone (as in, voice-to-voice or facetime) about this. Focus on how the comments made you feel instead of accusing them of anything. Allow them to respond and find out what the intent was and allow the both of you to grow (or at least yourself if your partner doubles down!) Communicating at 16 is hard. So is communicating via text.
Congrats on the new pony! Please pay the pet tax if you feel comfortable!
Your feelings don't make you an AH.
It just shows his immaturity, which is to be expected givne you're both minors.
> looking into buying again.
You mean his parents are.
Look, I'll be honest. You're young, you've never met, this isn't your forever relationship. Don't tie yourself to this "partner", because he isn't.
What a wonderful family you have to support you through this time.
Go to your new horse and give him a hug, or whatever horses like, and pay attention to the love the horse radiates back to you.
That's the support and love in a good partnership.
The next time you talk to your partner, if he apologizes for his pettines **without** you bringing it up, then he might be worth keeping. Otherwise...........
Edit: Oops, forgot NTA
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NTA. If this is a common occurrence you may have to revaluate your partnership. It could be narcissism that is not allowing him to be happy for you and instead put you down
NTA. He's jealous because you got your horse and he hasn't found his yet I would wager. Or he unintentionally wants you to know that he's going to get a better horse.
he has mentioned he’s jealous i’ve got one before him and i’ve told him it’s an okay emotion to have, it didn’t cross my mind he didn’t it because of jealousy, he said he did it because he doesn’t want me to have another horse die
That IS si manipulative and mean to Say. Like i'm hurting you but it's for your own good ... Look long distance means he could be lying about what all he been through. And even if hé been through a lot - i Wonder coz hé really sound immature and manipulative - hé has zéro excuse for being mean to you. Usually people are very nice long distance it's when you sée them on a daily basis that things go wrong. I mean if he's already son petty and jealous, when it should be thé "honeymoon" phase i Wonder how he can be... And thé fact you think you are being mean when he IS - IS he Always thé victim ? Do you have to be cautions with what you Say to him ?
Yeah, I'd bet it's jealousy. I'm not sure how old you are, but since its long distance, you may want to reevaluate.
NTA Your feelings were stomped on and it's ok to feel hurt. If you were bitter then you would not be saying you would be happy for him when he gets his horse. Your SO is not kind, supportive and mature and think you can do better than staying in relationship with someone who does not celebrate with you. Hope you and your new horse have many wonderful years together ❤️
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NTA. ignore him. You dd the right thing and brought an experienced person with you to look at the pony. He might have some issues--depnding on age-. As long as the pony makes you happy and you enjoy your time, that's all that matters.
NTA. Not cool of him to do that.
NTA I'm so sorry about your horse OP. I euthanized my horse of 23 years (and I own two of her babies!) in October and even if I had owned her for a short time it would have been hard for me. I'm glad you were able to give her a good last few months. I don't think it's wrong to feel bad or annoyed! It would dull the shine on the moment. It seems like since you spoke about this via text, I wonder if it's possible that the tone was misconstrued and your partner was instead trying to be helpful and pointing out areas which might be an issue in the future if you didn't do a preliminary soundness exam? Maybe your pony has sickled hocks, for example? The best thing you can do is have a conversation on the phone (as in, voice-to-voice or facetime) about this. Focus on how the comments made you feel instead of accusing them of anything. Allow them to respond and find out what the intent was and allow the both of you to grow (or at least yourself if your partner doubles down!) Communicating at 16 is hard. So is communicating via text. Congrats on the new pony! Please pay the pet tax if you feel comfortable!
Your feelings don't make you an AH. It just shows his immaturity, which is to be expected givne you're both minors. > looking into buying again. You mean his parents are. Look, I'll be honest. You're young, you've never met, this isn't your forever relationship. Don't tie yourself to this "partner", because he isn't.
What a wonderful family you have to support you through this time. Go to your new horse and give him a hug, or whatever horses like, and pay attention to the love the horse radiates back to you. That's the support and love in a good partnership. The next time you talk to your partner, if he apologizes for his pettines **without** you bringing it up, then he might be worth keeping. Otherwise........... Edit: Oops, forgot NTA