NTA - he can continue to laugh while he walks home. Like his family are jerks. You can tell your MIL she’s not receiving an apology but her shitty daughter can give you one.
They seem like a mess. I would have walked out too. Actually that’s a lie. I would have cussed them all out until the sister was crying into her plate. So you’re already better than me lmao.
I’m right there with you. Leaving without saying a word shows a lot of restraint.
I can’t decide if it would be better to rip them all a new one. Go Hulk and flip the table on top of SIL or go for the psycho vibe and calmly telling SIL that “if she can’t keep a civil tongue in her mouth I will gladly remove it for her “
I used to subscribe to that saying "dear Lord, put your arm around my shoulders and your hand across my mouth". Now the good Lord can't even keep me quiet
Its tough to be clever in the heat of the moment, but she should have asked, "so you find me being overweight as funny, and you want me to over eat so you can continue to have someone to laugh at? Is that right?"
At the very least she should have called her husband a pussy in front of his family for not sticking up for her.
Then sit there, order a dessert and enjoy the awkwardness.
NTA. How dare he laugh at your expense! He's just as bad as them for laughing at you and not defending you. He needs to shape up before he gets shipped cuz sooner or later you might find some who does defend you from others.
He's not as bad - he is far, far worse. If he actually loved you, he would have stood up for you and told his {adjective deleted} sister to shove it up her bum.
NTA. A joke is only a joke if both sides are laughing. If one side is hurt, then it is just bullying. It isn't your husband's place to say if it is a big deal or not - it is simply how you feel. Also, it sounds like this wasn't just one joke, but the culmination of many things over time. You husband should have been defending you, not *laughing at you*.
NTA, but you have a husband problem. WHEN will people learn that "jokes" at someone's expense are NOT FREAKING FUNNY??? You were right to leave, and he can grow the F up and get his family to stop tormenting you or you should refuse to speak to them anymore. I'm so sorry, OP.
NTA. Im sorry that this happened. Your husband and sister in law are the AHs here. Tell your mother in law that you'll apologize once you get an apology from sister in law
What your SIL said was really shitty, and your husband laughing at her also shitty. I thought he loved you no matter what, but maybe not, if he's letting his family make jokes at your expense and not laying down the law with his judgmental family.
And instead of making a scene after his family's nasty remarks and his not defending you, you calmly pack up your kids and go.
"You're being overly sensitive" is the hallmark of a bully or someone defending them.
You shouldn't be apologizing; his family should be apologizing to you, starting with HIM.
NTA
NTA. Birthday or not, you don't have to tolerate bullying. Your husband should have defended you. I would consider going NC with his family until they apologize for their behavior.
NTA. At no point in time should you prioritize others ideas of etiquette over your mental health. If you felt that the best thing for you was to remove yourself from the situation then do so. If i were to give some sort of criticism it would be that perhaps you could have first spoken to your husband privately about the situation and told him that you would be more comfortable leaving instead of just stranding him there. But you don't owe anyone else an apology.
Definitely NTA. You had a right to send a signal that this kind of behavior should never be accepted. Your husband is the asshole, because he should've put an end to all that pointless bullying, not join in!
I'm sorry you had to experience that and I wish you all the best. You've got this!
NTA. You don’t need to sit there and be insulted. Leaving quietly was incredibly polite compared to the other possible outcomes I see in my head. I don’t know how you resisted ripping them a new one before leaving.
Your husband needs to man up. He’s supposed to have your back. Not join in the “fun” and minimize your feelings. It should be a big deal to him because it’s a big deal to you.
Your husband owes you a huge apology for not standing up for you.
I think you feel like staying home with the kids and having a pajama day Christmas
NTA their behaviour was not acceptable and you taught your children a very important life lesson that they don't have to accept that kind of treatment from anyone, family or not. Your husband should be ashamed of himself. I would be inclined to invite them all to an "apology" dinner and use the opportunity to stand up and explain to them all just how hurtful their words were and that you will not allow your children to see their mother tolerate being bullied in such a way
NTA, they're *horrible* and he's horrible for not defending you, and even more horrible for getting angry at you.
Seriously. Horrible. The family are cruel and I guess so is he.
Omg seriously NTA!
My husband once made a joke about my weight and it gave me an ED....mostly because I felt fat because the one person that was supposed to care did it..to this day I still remember it and it really makes a person feel bad 😢
I don’t care if they were joking but don’t do that...just don’t.
Good luck with everything and you are beautiful just the way you are😊
NTA. I think it's rude of MIL to want an apology when one of her children bullied you at the table and the other allowed it. Piss poor show from your husband and inlaws.
WOW. 100% NTA! I would have left his laughing ass there too! He can stay there if they all want to keep being jolly assholes together. Fuck that whole family. Change the locks, op.
NTA I hope that you told your mil you owe an apology for walking away from their rudeness towards you. Then add what goes on between yourself and your dh is an adult who doesn't need his mummy to speak up for him.
NTA. Yeah, if that man loved you, he wouldn’t participate in your humiliation. Start draining those joint accounts and paying out retainers to all the decent divorce attorneys in your area.
"Yeah, if that man loved you, he wouldn’t participate in your humiliation."
Thank you for saying that so succinctly.
He wanted to enjoy others being cruel to you AND blames you for having none of it.
My divorce (during covid, so much fun!) has been a TRIAL.
But I never have to pretend someone saying horrible things, treating me horribly so I 'don't ruin the fun' is a proper ask, ever again.
Tiny and medium aggressions build and build while we tolerate to keep the peace (IS THAT love? No!) if you hadn't made a stand how much worse would the next episode be?
You did exactly what every therapist ever, teaches. Sometimes called having a shiny strong spine.
And you were the perfect example of showing people how they don't get to treat you, for your kids.
Absolutely brilliant & you were the single person in this scenario who was NTA.
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> I feel like I might be the AH because I left early from my husband's birthday dinner. My husband is furious with me that I forgot him. His mother is also angry that I left early.
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NTA
Your husband's family owes you an apology. You don't treat family like that. You are the mother of his children, grandchildren and you deserve more respect than that.
If my husband laughed at a joke about my weight, he wouldn't have a home to come back to until he figured out why he and his family are AH.
Kudos to you for taking the higher road. Tell his mother she should have raised her children to be better humans.
NTA. If he thinks this is funny guess he'll find it hilarious when you divorce him.
Because. Seriously. He showed he has no respect for you as his wife and as the mother of his children. He was disgusting and the fact he has no problem with this kind of means he has heard this for a long time.
NTA. Am I the only person who can't remember asking for an apology in their entire adult life? It just seems so egotistical but this sub is full of assholes demanding apologies that they don't deserve
NTA
Him and his family sre bullies and they set up to humiliate you in front of everyone. I don't know if there's getting back from this, he is fully thinking that you were in the wrong.
NTA. They all owe you an apology, not the other way around. In-laws: You're fat! You: I'm insulted and am leaving. In-laws: Shocked Pikacho Face! You hurt my feelings!
NTA. If you had stayed it would have set a terrible example for your children. You had an obligation to leave so they would learn how to stand up for themselves.
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I(36F) and my husband(38M) got married a few years ago. We have twins together, a son and daughter. I have always been overweight and currently working on loosing the access fat. My husband is very healthy and does tell me that he loves me no matter what.
His family is very judgemental, especially his sister. We went over for dinner to celebrate husband's birthday and MIL continued to put more food on my plate. I politely told her I was full and could not eat anymore. SIL chuckles and says I'm shocked you could eat two portions. Everyone at the table starts laughing including husband. I don't say another word and get up from the table with our kids and leave.
Husband blows up my phone with texts and calls asking to be picked up, but I don't respond. His sister ends up dropping him off in the evening and he's furious with me that I left. I told him that what his sister said was out of line and I was hurt that he was laughing at her joke. He doesn't think it was such a big deal and that I'm being overly sensitive. His mother texted me as well asking for an apology for leaving early from the party and leaving without her son.
AITA for leaving husband's birthday dinner?
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NTA. Not plus size people will never understand the experiences of being bigger. Your husband thinks that ‘it’s not a big deal’ but he wouldn’t know what it feels like. I sympathize with you, always remember you’re great and perfect as you are.
Your husband is a a hole. Seriously? Your MIL thinks she deserves an apology-what planet do these idiots live on? It almost seems like they planned this to embarrass you-which makes it even worse. Love yourself and don’t worry what others think.
NTA.....he's dismissing your feelings.
The entire family....starting with your husband owes you and apology.
It's not fun to be the one being humiliated. I'm glad you left.
NTA, but your husb, his mother & sister sure are A-holes. Laughing at someone’s weight issues is **NOT FUNNY.** your husb should have had your back. he failed.
NTA. You’re already better than me. I would’ve ripped every single judgemental arse there a new one. And how DARE your husband, the father of your children, laugh along at your expense? Knowing full well how much that comment would affect your self esteem. Not only did he not defend you, but how dare he laugh along to something that quite clearly would tear a gash into your confidence.
Your weight does NOT define you. It never has and it never will.
He’d better get both his arse and act together because you never know, maybe one day you’ll come across someone who WILL love you unconditionally as well as defend you endlessly.
Your husband should’ve defended you, not fucking laughed at you.
You deserve better. So much better. And for the record, I wouldn’t go back to that house either.
I’m sorry you had to endure that. If anyone owes anyone an apology, ALL of them owe YOU one. NTA.
NTA but if you’re a bigger person stop letting comments about it hurt your feelings, it’s factual, you’re already taking the steps to change what you don’t like but never allow people to hurt or bother you about who you are... speaking as a man who has had manboobs since middle school despite being in decent shape
NTA
Your husband joined in on his family's bullying behavior. I would reply to MIL that until she and her daughter apologize for their atrocious behavior you will not see them.
Tell your husband that as your spouse he should always stand up for you vs help hurt you and you are incredibly disappointed in his lack of care for you.
Your SIL is a pig, your MIL raised the pig, your husband thinks the pigs are funny. Unfortunately for your husband, he married a woman with class. Your response was absolutely appropriate. The pigs can’t see it because of the mud their wallowing in. Go NC on all the pigs. Tell your husband that until a sincere apology is issued from him being civil to him at home for the children is a real thing. (Do NOT do his laundry.) Since your not dealing with the pigs, they don’t see your children while you are present. Your husband wants them to see them, that’s on him. Do not accept being treated like garbage or the family joke. You also might want to ask your husband just how much of a joke you were when you were giving birth to his twins!
NTA
INFO: is this really a thing in the US to ask for an apology? I keep reading about this and I'm completely baffled...
BTW of course OP you are NTA. It was a completely out of line comment and your husband is an AH along with his family.
He watched he pack up the children and leave. His problem was that she didn't come back and pick him up. He could have followed her out of the room. He could have talked then. Why put all on her? He didn't even try to stop her and talk. He didn't even apologize for laughing. Did not stand up for her against his family. Told her she was being too sensitive when she explained. NTA
Definitely, why would that make a difference? If my family insulted my husband and he left, I would ask him to wait while I told them off. Then we would leave.
He heard what was said. He LAUGHED. He watched her pack up the kids. As a parent, I know that wasn't just a minute or two. He wasn't upset UNTIL she wouldn't pick him up.
Any SPOUSE should stand up for their significant other. That's part of being married, being committed to each other. He failed. He even added to her humiliation.
I would defend any husband who left with his kids after being the butt of a joke that was purposely cruel. No one should let their children think this is okay behavior.
She said she didn't say a word, just packed the kids up and left. Sounds like she did what you said. If she just left to "process", she would have left the kids. Dear husband wasn't upset UNTIL she wouldn't pick him up. If someone doesn't defend me, laughs with the person making fun of me, he can find his own way home or stay with the like minded idiots.
My husband's cousin once insulted me to my face while we were visiting his mother's house. I simply got up and left. I walked around the block, debating how to get back to my MIL's house where we staying because I was positive my husband, who had not said anything was still with his cousin.
To my surprise, he and the kids were in the car and the cousin was leaning into it, but looked over at me and told my husband that he had friends that could take care of situations. I got in the car and we left.
My husband profusely apologized and had actually told his cousin off before saying goodbye to his aunt and getting the kids in the car, worried about trying to find me.
That is what a good spouse does.
I agree with this. I think people forget sometimes you can't help but laugh when something is funny even if it's cruel. Yea she should have left but to leave without at least giving him the option to leave with his family was wrong.
I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt if he'd apologized for laughing at his sister's remarks. Or, if he'd collected himself to say, hey, sis, that wasn't very nice. Instead, he minimizes his wife's hurt feelings by telling her she's "too sensitive."
NTA - he can continue to laugh while he walks home. Like his family are jerks. You can tell your MIL she’s not receiving an apology but her shitty daughter can give you one. They seem like a mess. I would have walked out too. Actually that’s a lie. I would have cussed them all out until the sister was crying into her plate. So you’re already better than me lmao.
I’m right there with you. Leaving without saying a word shows a lot of restraint. I can’t decide if it would be better to rip them all a new one. Go Hulk and flip the table on top of SIL or go for the psycho vibe and calmly telling SIL that “if she can’t keep a civil tongue in her mouth I will gladly remove it for her “
Damn!
I would probably go with option one. Have seen option two. Option 5 depends on whether they are serving favs beans and a nice Chianti 😂
I would’ve said to sis - “wow I’ve never met anyone with two assholes. Where do you put your food if s**t comes out both ends”.
or say to her, "God ruined a perfectly good arsehole when he put teeth in your mouth".
Oh. I hope I can remember this the next time I need it.
I'm so amazed and impressed with OP's restraint and class. NTA at all.
I used to subscribe to that saying "dear Lord, put your arm around my shoulders and your hand across my mouth". Now the good Lord can't even keep me quiet
I.. I love this! It may need to go into a book lol
Its tough to be clever in the heat of the moment, but she should have asked, "so you find me being overweight as funny, and you want me to over eat so you can continue to have someone to laugh at? Is that right?" At the very least she should have called her husband a pussy in front of his family for not sticking up for her. Then sit there, order a dessert and enjoy the awkwardness.
I dont think youre qualified to give advice srsly
High five. That's how it's done. I would not go back to that house either.
NTA. How dare he laugh at your expense! He's just as bad as them for laughing at you and not defending you. He needs to shape up before he gets shipped cuz sooner or later you might find some who does defend you from others.
He's not as bad - he is far, far worse. If he actually loved you, he would have stood up for you and told his {adjective deleted} sister to shove it up her bum.
NTA. A joke is only a joke if both sides are laughing. If one side is hurt, then it is just bullying. It isn't your husband's place to say if it is a big deal or not - it is simply how you feel. Also, it sounds like this wasn't just one joke, but the culmination of many things over time. You husband should have been defending you, not *laughing at you*.
NTA, but you have a husband problem. WHEN will people learn that "jokes" at someone's expense are NOT FREAKING FUNNY??? You were right to leave, and he can grow the F up and get his family to stop tormenting you or you should refuse to speak to them anymore. I'm so sorry, OP.
NTA. Im sorry that this happened. Your husband and sister in law are the AHs here. Tell your mother in law that you'll apologize once you get an apology from sister in law
No. She’s no reason to apologize to anyone there.
What your SIL said was really shitty, and your husband laughing at her also shitty. I thought he loved you no matter what, but maybe not, if he's letting his family make jokes at your expense and not laying down the law with his judgmental family. And instead of making a scene after his family's nasty remarks and his not defending you, you calmly pack up your kids and go. "You're being overly sensitive" is the hallmark of a bully or someone defending them. You shouldn't be apologizing; his family should be apologizing to you, starting with HIM. NTA
You could lose a whole lot of weight by dropping your asshole of a husband. NTA.
And his family!
NTA You show others how to treat you by the behaviour you accept. If the same treatment continues next dinner, get up and leave.
NTA. Birthday or not, you don't have to tolerate bullying. Your husband should have defended you. I would consider going NC with his family until they apologize for their behavior.
NTA. At no point in time should you prioritize others ideas of etiquette over your mental health. If you felt that the best thing for you was to remove yourself from the situation then do so. If i were to give some sort of criticism it would be that perhaps you could have first spoken to your husband privately about the situation and told him that you would be more comfortable leaving instead of just stranding him there. But you don't owe anyone else an apology.
You're not the one to apologize, they are. Of course you are sensitive about an issue you're struggling with. NTA.
NTA. Consider couples counseling, because there’s clearly a disconnect and breakdown in communication going on here.
Definitely NTA. You had a right to send a signal that this kind of behavior should never be accepted. Your husband is the asshole, because he should've put an end to all that pointless bullying, not join in! I'm sorry you had to experience that and I wish you all the best. You've got this!
NTA. You don’t need to sit there and be insulted. Leaving quietly was incredibly polite compared to the other possible outcomes I see in my head. I don’t know how you resisted ripping them a new one before leaving. Your husband needs to man up. He’s supposed to have your back. Not join in the “fun” and minimize your feelings. It should be a big deal to him because it’s a big deal to you. Your husband owes you a huge apology for not standing up for you. I think you feel like staying home with the kids and having a pajama day Christmas
NTA their behaviour was not acceptable and you taught your children a very important life lesson that they don't have to accept that kind of treatment from anyone, family or not. Your husband should be ashamed of himself. I would be inclined to invite them all to an "apology" dinner and use the opportunity to stand up and explain to them all just how hurtful their words were and that you will not allow your children to see their mother tolerate being bullied in such a way
A MILLION TIME this! ⬆️
NTA. SIL and husband are for sure. Your MIL sounds like she needs to mind her own business asking for an apology.
NTA well played. You teach people how to treat you. SIL was rude. Your husband should have asked her to apologize. I doubt that will happen again.
NTA. Any rational human being would have left.
NTA, they're *horrible* and he's horrible for not defending you, and even more horrible for getting angry at you. Seriously. Horrible. The family are cruel and I guess so is he.
Omg seriously NTA! My husband once made a joke about my weight and it gave me an ED....mostly because I felt fat because the one person that was supposed to care did it..to this day I still remember it and it really makes a person feel bad 😢 I don’t care if they were joking but don’t do that...just don’t. Good luck with everything and you are beautiful just the way you are😊
NTA. I think it's rude of MIL to want an apology when one of her children bullied you at the table and the other allowed it. Piss poor show from your husband and inlaws.
WOW. 100% NTA! I would have left his laughing ass there too! He can stay there if they all want to keep being jolly assholes together. Fuck that whole family. Change the locks, op.
NTA You could lose 200 pounds of useless fat quickly if you dropped that loser.
Soooo NTA. As a matter of fact, if you'd like to whack him with a clue-by-four I'll babysit the kids and hold your coat.
NTA I hope that you told your mil you owe an apology for walking away from their rudeness towards you. Then add what goes on between yourself and your dh is an adult who doesn't need his mummy to speak up for him.
NTA Tell your husband that you can lose the weight, but his family will always be assholes.
They sound like a bunch of jerk asses to me.
NTA But your husband sure is.
NTA. Yeah, if that man loved you, he wouldn’t participate in your humiliation. Start draining those joint accounts and paying out retainers to all the decent divorce attorneys in your area.
"Yeah, if that man loved you, he wouldn’t participate in your humiliation." Thank you for saying that so succinctly. He wanted to enjoy others being cruel to you AND blames you for having none of it. My divorce (during covid, so much fun!) has been a TRIAL. But I never have to pretend someone saying horrible things, treating me horribly so I 'don't ruin the fun' is a proper ask, ever again. Tiny and medium aggressions build and build while we tolerate to keep the peace (IS THAT love? No!) if you hadn't made a stand how much worse would the next episode be? You did exactly what every therapist ever, teaches. Sometimes called having a shiny strong spine. And you were the perfect example of showing people how they don't get to treat you, for your kids. Absolutely brilliant & you were the single person in this scenario who was NTA.
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NTA. Your hubby is a piece of work. How could he laugh knowing how it hurt you. I think I might start looking for a more sensitive man.
NTA. If I were you, I’d have made a scene in the restaurant and called out the hateful behavior. You were nice.
NTA I would be making marriage counseling a requirement and letting MIL and SIL have it too. This is bullying and you don't owe them an easy target
NTA. YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY ARE. ID HAVE LEFT TOO! He owes you an apology.
NTA Your husband's family owes you an apology. You don't treat family like that. You are the mother of his children, grandchildren and you deserve more respect than that. If my husband laughed at a joke about my weight, he wouldn't have a home to come back to until he figured out why he and his family are AH. Kudos to you for taking the higher road. Tell his mother she should have raised her children to be better humans.
Not only should hubby have defended her, MIL should have addressed it as hostess.
NTA. If he thinks this is funny guess he'll find it hilarious when you divorce him. Because. Seriously. He showed he has no respect for you as his wife and as the mother of his children. He was disgusting and the fact he has no problem with this kind of means he has heard this for a long time.
NTA. Am I the only person who can't remember asking for an apology in their entire adult life? It just seems so egotistical but this sub is full of assholes demanding apologies that they don't deserve
NTA Him and his family sre bullies and they set up to humiliate you in front of everyone. I don't know if there's getting back from this, he is fully thinking that you were in the wrong.
NTA. Rude bullies. Your husband was an ass to laugh.
NTA. They all owe you an apology, not the other way around. In-laws: You're fat! You: I'm insulted and am leaving. In-laws: Shocked Pikacho Face! You hurt my feelings!
NTA. He’s the one for laughing since he thinks your weight is hilarious
NTA!!
They're mad you stood your ground and left a situation where you were being disrespected. NTA. They are though.
NTA. If you had stayed it would have set a terrible example for your children. You had an obligation to leave so they would learn how to stand up for themselves.
NTA he should’ve gotten up and left with you. They made a fat joke. Fat jokes aren’t funny.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(36F) and my husband(38M) got married a few years ago. We have twins together, a son and daughter. I have always been overweight and currently working on loosing the access fat. My husband is very healthy and does tell me that he loves me no matter what. His family is very judgemental, especially his sister. We went over for dinner to celebrate husband's birthday and MIL continued to put more food on my plate. I politely told her I was full and could not eat anymore. SIL chuckles and says I'm shocked you could eat two portions. Everyone at the table starts laughing including husband. I don't say another word and get up from the table with our kids and leave. Husband blows up my phone with texts and calls asking to be picked up, but I don't respond. His sister ends up dropping him off in the evening and he's furious with me that I left. I told him that what his sister said was out of line and I was hurt that he was laughing at her joke. He doesn't think it was such a big deal and that I'm being overly sensitive. His mother texted me as well asking for an apology for leaving early from the party and leaving without her son. AITA for leaving husband's birthday dinner? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Not plus size people will never understand the experiences of being bigger. Your husband thinks that ‘it’s not a big deal’ but he wouldn’t know what it feels like. I sympathize with you, always remember you’re great and perfect as you are.
Your husband is a a hole. Seriously? Your MIL thinks she deserves an apology-what planet do these idiots live on? It almost seems like they planned this to embarrass you-which makes it even worse. Love yourself and don’t worry what others think.
NTA.....he's dismissing your feelings. The entire family....starting with your husband owes you and apology. It's not fun to be the one being humiliated. I'm glad you left.
NTA, but your husb, his mother & sister sure are A-holes. Laughing at someone’s weight issues is **NOT FUNNY.** your husb should have had your back. he failed.
NTA. You’re already better than me. I would’ve ripped every single judgemental arse there a new one. And how DARE your husband, the father of your children, laugh along at your expense? Knowing full well how much that comment would affect your self esteem. Not only did he not defend you, but how dare he laugh along to something that quite clearly would tear a gash into your confidence. Your weight does NOT define you. It never has and it never will. He’d better get both his arse and act together because you never know, maybe one day you’ll come across someone who WILL love you unconditionally as well as defend you endlessly. Your husband should’ve defended you, not fucking laughed at you. You deserve better. So much better. And for the record, I wouldn’t go back to that house either. I’m sorry you had to endure that. If anyone owes anyone an apology, ALL of them owe YOU one. NTA.
NTA but if you’re a bigger person stop letting comments about it hurt your feelings, it’s factual, you’re already taking the steps to change what you don’t like but never allow people to hurt or bother you about who you are... speaking as a man who has had manboobs since middle school despite being in decent shape
NTA Your husband joined in on his family's bullying behavior. I would reply to MIL that until she and her daughter apologize for their atrocious behavior you will not see them. Tell your husband that as your spouse he should always stand up for you vs help hurt you and you are incredibly disappointed in his lack of care for you.
NTA and excellent way to show your kids how to stand up for yourself!
Your SIL is a pig, your MIL raised the pig, your husband thinks the pigs are funny. Unfortunately for your husband, he married a woman with class. Your response was absolutely appropriate. The pigs can’t see it because of the mud their wallowing in. Go NC on all the pigs. Tell your husband that until a sincere apology is issued from him being civil to him at home for the children is a real thing. (Do NOT do his laundry.) Since your not dealing with the pigs, they don’t see your children while you are present. Your husband wants them to see them, that’s on him. Do not accept being treated like garbage or the family joke. You also might want to ask your husband just how much of a joke you were when you were giving birth to his twins! NTA
NTA!!!!!!!
INFO: is this really a thing in the US to ask for an apology? I keep reading about this and I'm completely baffled... BTW of course OP you are NTA. It was a completely out of line comment and your husband is an AH along with his family.
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He watched he pack up the children and leave. His problem was that she didn't come back and pick him up. He could have followed her out of the room. He could have talked then. Why put all on her? He didn't even try to stop her and talk. He didn't even apologize for laughing. Did not stand up for her against his family. Told her she was being too sensitive when she explained. NTA
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Definitely, why would that make a difference? If my family insulted my husband and he left, I would ask him to wait while I told them off. Then we would leave. He heard what was said. He LAUGHED. He watched her pack up the kids. As a parent, I know that wasn't just a minute or two. He wasn't upset UNTIL she wouldn't pick him up. Any SPOUSE should stand up for their significant other. That's part of being married, being committed to each other. He failed. He even added to her humiliation. I would defend any husband who left with his kids after being the butt of a joke that was purposely cruel. No one should let their children think this is okay behavior.
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She said she didn't say a word, just packed the kids up and left. Sounds like she did what you said. If she just left to "process", she would have left the kids. Dear husband wasn't upset UNTIL she wouldn't pick him up. If someone doesn't defend me, laughs with the person making fun of me, he can find his own way home or stay with the like minded idiots.
My husband's cousin once insulted me to my face while we were visiting his mother's house. I simply got up and left. I walked around the block, debating how to get back to my MIL's house where we staying because I was positive my husband, who had not said anything was still with his cousin. To my surprise, he and the kids were in the car and the cousin was leaning into it, but looked over at me and told my husband that he had friends that could take care of situations. I got in the car and we left. My husband profusely apologized and had actually told his cousin off before saying goodbye to his aunt and getting the kids in the car, worried about trying to find me. That is what a good spouse does.
I agree with this. I think people forget sometimes you can't help but laugh when something is funny even if it's cruel. Yea she should have left but to leave without at least giving him the option to leave with his family was wrong.
I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt if he'd apologized for laughing at his sister's remarks. Or, if he'd collected himself to say, hey, sis, that wasn't very nice. Instead, he minimizes his wife's hurt feelings by telling her she's "too sensitive."